The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 9 Halloween Special

Ok, so maybe yours truly had a Halloween party to attend last Saturday eve. And maybe yours truly spent a bunch of time finishing a costume on Friday and Saturday. And maybe yours truly slept in on Sunday morning, reveling in a day of rest. And maybe, well, that led to….

…you the good reader receiving a second Thursday Night Special Plus, on Halloween no less! And you didn’t even have to say Trick or Treat.

Opening Kickoff

As it is Halloween, I present you with the scariest item I could find this season…

THE AFC NORTH STANDINGS!!! AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Team              Won    Lost

Cincinnati       6          2

Baltimore         3          4

Cleveland        3          5

Pittsburgh        2          5

My Favorite Part of Week 7

Easy, it was watching the mighty Broncos lose. Not because I wish ill on Denver’s team, far from it. But it felt satisfying to watch them lose after the Peyton Manning Returns Home buildup, and the feting of Manning pre-game.

I remember a few years ago when Tim Tebow ran the Bronco offense, and people had a problem with the amount of attention and credit Tebow received for the team’s turnaround and mid to late season winning. It’s funny, as many of those same people have no problem idolizing Manning in a similar fashion. Granted, the skill level and accomplishment of both men at the position of NFL quarterback are worlds apart. But, let’s be honest. Peyton is given too much credit for the team’s success and it would seem many of the vital role players are lost in the vapor trails of the Manning Express. However, I have a feeling it will balance out nicely come January, when Peyton takes too much heat for yet another playoff loss.

But I digress. It was fun watching the Colts stew on the sidelines as their fans applauded the opposing quarterback. I wondered during the pre game festivities if Andrew Luck sat there watching his crowd and his team fete and gush all over Peyton Manning, and watched Manning just soak it up and just went, Ok old man let's see what you got. I know Robert Mathis did. I guess Peyton did find out often that Mathis hits harder than Eli. But I wonder if he hits harder than Cooper? Some mysteries, I suppose, will remain unresolved.

It must have been very confusing for the Indianapolis faithful, watching Peyton lose yet another prime time, highly anticipated matchup with a strong team led by a dynamic quarterback, yet see the Colts win the game. I bet more than a few of them were bummed when they saw the dejected Manning amble off the field out of sheer habit and needed their seat neighbors to remind them that Manning is losing big games for another team now. Talk about awkward.

Hopefully this will be a nice preview of perhaps an AFC Wild Card or Divisional game in January. After all, Bronco fans deserve to watch Peyton choke when it counts at home too.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 18 – Raiders 21

What, you thought beating the anemic Raiders would have fixed everything?

I’ll have more regarding my issues with this team on Sunday, but today I’d like to mention two points I’ve been stewing on lately.

One of the biggest problems that have become apparent with this year’s Steelers team is the arrogance of the coaching staff. I get it, people hate to be wrong, see that things are wrong and have it shown they're wrong. But the greater sin than making a mistake is failing to recognize and rectify it properly. That shows arrogance, ignorance and a dangerous level of self delusion.

The best, and latest, example of this is Mike Tomlin benching outside linebacker Jarvis Jones after a putrid performance on Sunday. Tomlin, when asked, did leave the door open for Jones’ return.

“Jarvis has got to play better from an assignment standpoint. If he's capable of showing that, he'll be given an opportunity to contribute now. I think that's where our mentality is and where it should be at this juncture.”

And Jones did have a bad game. He provided no pressure on the quarterback, could not keep contain on the outside edge on quarterback Terrelle Pryor. He never came close to getting a sack and looked absolutely terrible in pass coverage. But you know what, those exact metric could be applied to the other outside linebacker LaMarr Woodley.

Woodley finished the game with zero tackles, zero sacks and zero pressures. Woodley and resident blowhard Ryan Clark were also the primary fools in Oakland’s first play from scrimmage, the record setting 93 yard touchdown run by Pryor. So my question for Tomlin would be, if Jones is being demoted for poor play, shouldn’t Woodley and Clark be as well? Jones is young, and raw, but he’s going to get better. Woodley and Clark are only going to get older, slower and dumber.

But Tomlin either cannot see this or refuses to admit it. He continues to compound bad decisions with questionable fixes and bigger mistakes. While he shoulders the blame each week, that is only a hollow sentiment. He should shoulder the blame. He is the man who shaped the roster, coached the players and oversees the schemes put in by each unit. If it fails, it’s on him. Taking the blame is not noble, it’s his job.

The coaching staff's resistance to admitting mistakes and correcting them after the fact for the greater good is the stupidest thing I've seen lately, short of Congress and the President spending half of October doing the same thing with the livelihoods of millions in their hands and the fate of the country in the balance. Hmmm, perspective is a good thing. Perhaps I’m overreacting a bit. Well, I am a sports fan, so that is part of the job description.

The other item that has been sticking my head was born from a recent radio segment I heard. The station’s sports reporter was asking Steeler veterans their memories and recollections of their first encounter with Steelers/Ravens rivalry. Safety Troy Polamalu mentioned a great tidbit from his rookie season in 2003. It was the last game of the season and the Steelers were out of the playoff chase, sitting at 6-9. Ravens had secured division, as they would victory this day, and go to the playoffs. But, as Troy recalled, before coin toss former Steelers linebacker Joey Porter and former Ravens ex-con Ray Lewis were face to face at mid field, jawing, trash talking and going at each other, two seconds and an eyelash away from breaking out into a full on fight. Listening to this recollection, I could see it in my mind’s eye as though it were yesterday. I could picture Joey stalking the field before the game, his jersey tucked up under his pads to show off his 6 pack, creating discourse and piling on intimidation. I could see him barking at the other team, drawing their attention on him, breaking their focus, being the bad guy as he so loved to be.

And that's when it hit me. That's what's missing from this Steelers team. We need a loudmouth bad ass who not only talks the talk, but goes out and walks the walk. We've always had a true bad ass on the field. Right now, who's our bad ass? There is none. The last one we had was James Harrison, but the last two seasons he wasn't his typical self. And watching him jump up and down on the field to congratulate the kicker in Cincinnati's last second win showed me that lion is fully in winter.

Where's our next Harrison, Porter, Jason Gildon, Greg Lloyd, Jack Lambert, Mean Joe Greene? Where's the next bad ass to step up and take the mantle? Until we find one, I fear this team will be not only a long time from regaining its swagger, but also its winning ways.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh tried to break up a fight between players, and it ended in predictably hilarious results. I bet John used to give him wedgies all the time.

Colts punter Pat McAfee blew up Trindon Holliday with a great touchdown saving tackle. Then the next day was immediately informed by the NFL it was time for a “random” drug test. Yes, NFL, punters are the problem. Not Denver’s Von Miller who put on 16 pounds of muscle during his 6 game suspension for using illegal performance enhancing drugs. Let me say that again. A convicted performance drug user added 16 pounds of muscle in 6 weeks. Yeah, McAfee is the problem.

The reeling Texans jettisoned 3 rookies for using marijuana, a violation of league rules. No they didn’t. They cut them because the stink, they wanted to sign other players instead, and used the player’s love of weed as the excuse. Come on, who are you kidding Texans, like half the league doesn’t toke up.

Some douchebag Jets and Patriots fans got into a fight after the Pats/Jets collision. The fight was unfortunately stopped before it could escalate, consume both fan bases and rid us of their arrogant, smug superiority. Oh well, maybe next time.

NFL analyst and former quarterback Steve Young praised Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning by saying the Denver gunslinger has reached a new level. I’ll believe that when I see him win in the divisional round.

Here’s a nice way of distracting NFL fans from having to rectify their feelings over watching men permanently disable themselves each week, just what do players eat on the plane as they travel to away games! And what a wacky surprise, the rookies are in charge of getting meals for everyone!

In desperation after losing Sam Bradford for the season, the St. Louis Rams called former quarterback and professional jeans salesman Brett Favre. Let’s not kid ourselves here. The Rams never thought Favre would take them seriously. The only reason they called is publicity, because Jeff Fisher knows as well as you do that the next time anyone talks about the Rams in any serious way, it’ll be to determine what they’ll do with the number 3 overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft.

And finally, the boyfriend of a Ravens receptionist lost her Super Bowl ring in the Chesapeake Bay. Initial reports stated it was swallowed by a fish, but then immediately spit out into the bay and the fish swam off choking and coughing.

He Said He Said

“If I see him in the street, I’m going to bust him in the f**king mouth.” – Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith on Rams cornerback Janoris Jenkins

Don’t hold back Steve, tell us how you really feel about Janoris.

“I don’t throw anymore. The shape that I’m in is not anything like football shape, nor do I want to play. It took me 20 years, but in my 20th year, I realized I didn’t like getting hit.” – former quarterback Brett Favre

It took him 20 years to learn that? Yeesh, most people learn that the first time they get hit. I hate to say it but Brett might be kinda dumb.

“I throw a lot of wobbly passes. A lot of wobbly TDs too.” – Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning after his team’s loss to the Colts when asked about some of his bad passes

Hmmm, it’s not as witty as his previous outings. I’m not sure I like the new material.

“I was fairly happy about it. I was thinking, ‘It’s about time we got a break.’ ” – Jets head coach Rex Ryan on the Patriots penalty on Nick Folk’s field goal attempt that allowed the Jets to move closer and ultimately win the game

Hey Rex, you’re shockingly still employed as an NFL head coach. You already got your break.

“Yeah, that was emotional.” – Texans defensive coordinator Wade Phillips on J.J. Watt tipping an imaginary 10 gallon hat to the crowd in tribute to Bum Phillips, legendary coach and father of Wade who passed away two days before the game

If the Texans wanted to honor Bum properly, they should start winning games.

Idiot of Last Week

This one was pretty easy as I awarded it to Patriots rookie cornerback Logan Ryan.

During the Jets/Patriots overtime blood fest, Ryan picked off Jets quarterback Geno Smith then streaked 81 yards for his first career touchdown. Awesome moment in any young player’s life, right?

However, Ryan ruined it by turning around as he approached the goal line to face the Jets trailing him, and then leapt backward into the end zone while grabbing his man bits. Obviously, Ryan went to charm school.

Look, it’s a fine line between celebrating and rubbing your opponent’s nose in it. Personally, I tend to think players should err on the side of caution, but the NFL should loosen up at times over a fun, spontaneous celebration. There can be a happy medium.

This, on the other hand, is not celebrating or even taunting; it’s being an obnoxious ass clown. To be honest, I’m surprised Bill Belichick didn’t have him killed on the spot for defying the “Patriot Way”. And the worst part is that little nonsense was completely overshadowed by Ryan and his defensive compatriots getting beat in overtime by said lowly Jets. So Logan Ryan, for putting your ass clown tomfoolery and me first attitude above the team, and looking like a fool in front of millions, you are an idiot.

On Tap Tonight

Ok, a little catch up, we’re actually doing pretty good right now.

Last week: 11-2

Season to Date: 81-40

Not too shabby eh? I keep hanging in there and would probably be leading if I could just…pick…against….AAAAAAHHH I can’t even say it, it’s too horrifying! Let’s just get to the game tonight.

Thursday

Cincinnati (6-2) at Miami (3-4)

This is appropriate, since Cincinnati’s always dressed for Halloween and Miami’s been playing tricks on its fan base since Dan Marino retired. My best guess is that the Bengals tonight will put a strangle hold on the AFC North. And then over the last 8 weeks of the season, will revert to the Bungles and choke it away to Baltimore. And that is the scariest thing that will happen on Halloween.

Bengals over Dolphins