The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 7

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady revealed he suffered a black eye during the game against the Saints. Ban the Saints again! Will this team ever learn? Now they've gone too far! How could they do this to the handsome visage of Tom Brady!  What cads! What scallywags! Let the lambasting of New Orleans begin! I formally kick off Black Eye Gate!

Opening Kickoff

Jets rookie Sheldon Richardson started trash talking early, stating he feels the NFL babies Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Who says rookies don't learn fast.

The Way It Was

The Jaguars kept their game against the juggernaut that is the Denver Peytons close and managed to cover the spread! It may be the closest they come to victory all season.

The Chiefs rolled to another victory, racking up an astronomical 10 sacks against the Raiders. I like this version of Andy Reid. See what a mental drain coaching in Philadelphia is? Cut to Buddy Ryan, Rich Kotite and Dick Vermeil nodding solemnly.

Houston continued their baffling freefall, with things reaching a new low when Texans fans cheering when Matt Schaub was hurt. You stay classy Houston.

After relieving the injured Schaub, backup quarterback T.J. Yates threw an interception that was returned 99 yards for a touchdown. Seriously, no one could catch him? The Texans need to have Don Beebe come in and give that team a motivational speech.

In additional disturbing fan behavior, 49er fans did the Wave while Cardinals defensive end Calais Campbell was being carted off the field for injury. To their credit, the team called out fans for their abhorrent behavior. See, nothing good ever comes from doing the Wave.

Wow, what a defensive collapse by the Saints. The New Orleans defensive unit gave Tom Brady three chances to win the game in the last 4 minutes, with Brady and the Patriots committing what should have been game losing mistakes on two of those chances. After a torrid start, I think we can now commence with the official meltdown of a Rob Ryan defense. Cowboy fans you don't have to watch, you suffered for years already.

I swear the panthers must be dual personalities

Josh Freeman found work, signing with the quarterback challenged Minnesota Vikings. Somewhere in Arizona, Larry Fitzgerald is looking at his quarterback depth chart and sobbing quietly.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 19 - Jets 6

Hey, look at that, a win! Weird that it came after the Pirates were done for the season. It's like they both cannot be successful at the same time...

There were more than a few things to like about the game beyond the final score. Troy Polamalu's hit on Stephen Hill was vintage Steeler defense. The team could so use more of that.

Despite Clark's suggestions, Ben Roethlisberger was himself much to the delight of Steeler fans.

Speaking of Clark, he procured the team's first turnover, and missed a second interception. He was probably too distracted thinking about his potential post game comments.

And while it was a decent, solid game, let's not get too excited. The Jets were an overrated 3-2 going into the game with a shaky rookie quarterback under center. Plus, a good portion of their skill position players were out of the game due to injury.

That being said, it sure was nice seeing a win. Hopefully, the team can build on this in some sort of positive way.

In other Steeler news, before the game left tackle Mike Adams was demoted to 3rd string, behind Kelvin Beachum and Levi Brown. I imagine he hit 3rd string because they did not have a 4th string.

But the Adams era may come back. Because without playing a down of football in Black and Gold, the Levi Brown era in Pittsburgh ended in injury with Brown tearing his triceps in pre-game warm-ups. How does that even happen?

And finally embattled offensive coordinator Todd Haley was sued by a contractor for allegedly backing out of a million dollar home deal and then trashing said house. Man, that guy can't do anything right.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Woof, that hot seat for Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano is getting hotter. Especially since the team is suffering a MRSA outbreak. Now the program is literally dirty.

To make things worse, the NFLPA thinks that Schiano leaked the private information about former quarterback Josh Freeman. Isn't it funny to see someone who's such an obvious bully and jerk get roasted?

Troubled 49er Alton Smith is in deeper water, now facing felony weapons charges. Ok, I know these are grown men, but come on NFL, they need some guidance. You make billions off their backs, you have to do a better job than this.

The NFL is set to meet and discuss the Washington team nickname. Personally, I feel that it is up to the Native American community to determine the offensiveness and continued usage of this word. I choose not to use it as I also choose not to use other derogatory slurs. But this word is not directed toward me, and therefore my input should be minor at best. In an attempt to be respectful to those who do find the word hurtful and offensive, I will continue to refer to the team as the Snyders. Plus, it's just fun tweaking Dan Snyder.

Thank goodness Bob Costas doesn't feel quite the same way as me. It's much more fun when he takes his Sunday night pulpit and insinuates himself into a story in which he doesn't belong.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says the league will look into playoff expansion in 2015. Hey, as long as no one is dying in front of the cameras on Sunday, more games is not a problem for Heir Goodell.

Upon Further Review

I would just like to take a moment away from football this week and give a hearty congratulations and a gigantic thank you to the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates.

For the first time in 20 years, the Pirates had not just a winning season, but a post season berth, won 3 post season games, a post season round (yes the one game wild card does count as a post season round) and took the NL Champion, and possible World Series Champion, Cardinals to game 5 of the NLDS. As a matter of fact, the Pirates played the Cardinals to a draw all season, going 12-12 against their powerful division rivals. But those are merely numbers.

The real story was the electricity that was felt all through Pittsburgh as the team continued its ascent from the basement to legitimate baseball team. The city became alive again with a baseball fervor not seen since Andy Van Slyke patrolled center field.

This team also has a popular center fielder, and Andrew McCutchen and his band of merry Pirates did something so many of us thought would never be possible. Not just bring a winner back to Pittsburgh, but bring Pittsburgh back to the Pirates.

When you lose for 20 straight season, it's not just bandwagon fans that abandon the team. It's real fans. It's die hard fans. It's true blue fans. It could be argued that the only fans left at that point were masochists, and I'm sure a few psychiatrists would agree. But Cutch and his crew changed the culture of the clubhouse, the team and the city noticed, and came screaming back.

And yes, screaming is the proper word. Everyone saw the Wild Card game against Cincinnati. That was 20 years of pain, suffering and despair coming out in one of the most cathartic and magical moments that I have ever witnessed as a fan. Even though I was not able to attend in person, I felt it. Even fans of other teams felt it, as it was the only thing the baseball world talked about for several days.

And that's the wonder and disappointment of it all. It was such a magical moment and post season run, that when it ended, I like most Pirate fans felt so deflated. I felt for several days a sadness wash over me that was hard to pinpoint. But finally after some thought, I realized why I felt sad.

I wasn't sad because they lost, or because my identity is too wrapped up in the success of a professional sports team or because I lost money. I was sad because such a fun, wonderful, magical, nerve racking, aggravating and amazing ride was now over. Truth be told, if the team did the unthinkable and won the World Series, two days after the parade I'd probably feel the same way.

I was sad in the sniffles laden way a child is when something ends. And that makes sense because this magical season really made me feel like a kid again. It was such a wonderful ride and it made everyone just delirious with joy. I just never wanted it to end.

But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. And the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates season is no exception. Yes, it came to and end sooner than most of us would have liked, but the memories, feelings and emotions will stay with us for a long time. And for the first time in many years, I truly cannot wait for spring training to begin. But until then, I will relive the wonderful season that was, revel in the potential season awards the team may win, and take manager Clint Hurdle's words to heart, when speaking about the retirement of his former player and friend Todd Helton.

"Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened."

I think it applies here too. Thank you Pirates for everything, and see you next year.

He Said He Said

"If you haven't failed, you haven't lived. I guess that's how you have to take it." - Pirates centerfielder Andrew McCutchen after the team lost game 5 of the NLDS

I know he's referring to a specific moment, but those are good words to live by, and something I think our increasingly entitled and overly demanding society needs to take to heart.

“I really don’t want to get into what Josh’s thoughts are about how things got out. I know what I’ve done, and I’m 100 percent comfortable with my behavior. One hundred percent.” - Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano on October 1st

Did anyone else notice in this statement, he never denies leaking information about Freeman, just that he's comfortable with his behavior. That surprises me little, since this is the same guy who is comfortable having his team bum rush a victory formation.

“Ed Reed. I was born to do this.” - Texans safety Ed Reed during the self-introductions on Sunday night’s NBC broadcast

That tells me one thing. That once he's too old, broken down and slow to play football anymore, he will have nothing more to contribute to the public and will become a blight and strain upon our society.

“If expanding the postseason would allow other teams to get into the dance, and they have the potential of going on and winning the Super Bowl. That’s a good thing for fans, that a good thing competitively.” - NFL commissioner Roger Goodell

And most importantly, its good for the bottom line.

“Never say never because then you become a hypocrite. I’ve seen too many other people in my profession say never and come back. Always keep doors open in life. That’s the important thing to do.” - CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher, to Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, on his self-imposed exile from coaching

I'm saying never. Because if he does return, it'll be George Seifert at the Panthers 2.0. And Cowher knows it.

“There is resistance out there. It’s called the other team.” - Broncos head coach John Fox on his teams seemingly slim victory over the winless Jacksonville Jaguars

Hee hee, he's almost as funny as his quarterback. I love it. Speaking of whom....

"Someone asked me, 'Is this like playing against Eli?' I said, 'I know Robert Mathis hits harder than Eli.' " - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning on his return to Indianapolis

Thank you, thank you, he'll be here all week folks.

Idiot of the Week

This week, the crown of idiot must be split thousands of ways, as the winner is all of us, the NFL fans.

Its obvious the more information that comes out about concussions leads us all closer to a point where we must all find some sort of peace and compromise regarding the game we love and the long term welfare of those who play it. It's a very gray area that is ever changing, ever evolving and is potentially years away from any concrete sort of resolution and solution. It's going to take some serious contemplation to reconcile enjoying the game of football while knowing what it can do to the participants. But I wonder if we'll ever be intelligent enough to make these contemplations?

See, we are idiots because we cannot even show simple human compassion when faced with the damage of football right in front of our eyes. Twice last week, fans watched a player fall to the turf injured. And both times the fans acted in completely callous and disgusting ways. Texans fans cheered Matt Schaub's injury because they have been unhappy with his play. And 49er fans did the Wave while waiting for medical personnel to safely transport Calais Campbell off the field. And sadly, these are not new, or uncommon, reactions.

What does this say about us as fans? Obviously nothing good. But if we take our fandom to such lengths that we cannot even show the simplest compassion for another human being, no matter how we may feel about them, then do we even deserve to have this entertainment medium presented to us? Will we ever be able to have a rational discourse regarding the future of football and the safety of its participants? Or are we merely just latter blood thirsty hordes, not dissimilar to those that once packed the Coliseum in Rome?

I would warn other fans to remember their history, and know that eventually Rome fell and the Empire was no more. Nothing says the same thing cannot happen to the NFL. In the meantime, NFL fans, we are all idiots.

On Tap This Week

Hey, it's rivalry week in the NFL! At least that's how it's being marketed. Funny how the NFL kicked college football's butt years ago, yet still regularly steals ideas from them. Bizarre. Anyway, how are we after Thursday...

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 60-33

Oooh, crossed the 60 point threshold. Look out first place, I'm on my way!

Sitting at home, wondering if they are rivals: New Orleans, Oakland

Sunday

New England (5-1) at New York Jets (3-3)

In anticipation of their AFC East showdown, Rex Ryan told his team to abstain from everything at home to save themselves for Sunday. Ryan gave his players a get out of chores free card. If this works, men everywhere will ask their bosses for the same excuse to take home to their wives tomorrow morning.

Patriots over Jets

Dallas (3-3) at Philadelphia (3-3)

Michael Vick ruled himself out for this NFC East showdown, thus leaving the fortunes of the Eagles in the hands of Nick "Napoleon Dynamite" Foles. While everyone is focusing on the thought that Vick may have made his last NFL start, I'm more curious about when Philadelphia will hire Uncle Rico as Foles quarterbacks coach.

Cowboys over Eagles

Tampa Bay (0-5) at Atlanta (1-4)

Believe it or not, Schiano has turned Tampa into an even bigger mess than he found it in. Perhaps Atlanta can use this to their advantage to try to salvage their season.

Falcons over Buccaneers

Cincinnati (4-2) at Detroit (4-2)

Yeah, I still have serious questions regarding Detroit, but considering what I've seen so far this season, I trust Andy Dalton far less than Detroit.

Lions over Bengals

St. Louis (3-3) over Carolina (2-3)

I have zero idea which version of either team will show up. This is a blind, in-the-dark coin flip. One thing I know for certain, I will choose poorly. Let's just get it over with.

Panthers over Rams

Chicago (4-2) at Washington (1-4)

RGIII revealed this week he tries to draw penalties by stopping close to the sidelines so defenders will commit and end up hitting him out of bounds. I must ask, Mike Shanahan do you really think this is a good practice to allow your multi million dollar franchise quarterback to continue? Shouldn't you step in and say stop it? And that's why you're about to be 1-5.

Bears over Snyders

Buffalo (2-4) at Miami (3-2)

Until I see E.J. Manual back under center, call me skeptical of Buffalo.

Dolphins over Bills

San Diego (3-3) at Jacksonville (0-6)

Even Phillip Rivers can't screw this up. Suddenly, the Chargers/Raiders game is flashing before my eyes. Why is that?

Chargers over Jaguars

San Francisco (4-2) at Tennessee (3-3)

There is speculation that the NFL may have figured out the game of Colin Kaepernick. I think the jury is still out on that assumption. But if it's proven true then Jim Harbaugh may have made one of the worst coaching decisions of all time. Especially considering Kansas City's season. In the mean time, Tennessee + Ryan Fitzpatrick - Jake Locker = Uh oh.

49ers over Titans

Cleveland (3-3) at Green Bay (3-2)

Who would have thought Brian Hoyer would be such a difference maker?

Packers over Browns

Baltimore (3-3) at Pittsburgh (1-4)

Yeah, neither team are world beaters this season. But that will mean very little. The intensity always ratchets up this week. And I like our chances against their questionable offensive line.

Steelers over Ravens

Houston (2-4) at Kansas City (6-0)

Houston is in a free fall that most likely will cost Gary Kubiak his job. And no amount of Case Keenum is going to save it now. And speaking of the rookie quarterback, who names their child Case? Must be a southern thing, like Drum.

Chiefs over Texans

Denver (6-0) at Indianapolis (4-2)

Peyton Manning's first return to the city and stadium in which he spent the majority of his NFL career and the hype has been as expected. I know Indianapolis has been quite successful this season dispatching top tier teams. But there's no way Manning will lose this game, especially since the Colts will honor him before kickoff.

New Peytons over Old Peytons

Monday

Minnesota (1-4) at New York Giants (0-6)

The G-Men signed Peyton Hillis to assist their decrepit running back corps and the Vikings will start Josh Freeman under center. Yeah, I think it's time Eli got off the schneid as well.

Giants over Vikings