The Crystal Ball 2014 The Championships

For two weeks in a row in these playoffs, all everyone was talking about after the weekend was the Dallas game and a controversial pass play, this time the tides of fate turning against Dallas with Dez Bryant getting bitten by the “Calvin Johnson” rule. Oh, sweet irony!

Look, everyone hates the rule, and hopefully this gives the final impetus to change it. But I say simplify the issue and get to the root of the problem. Let’s just ban Dallas from the playoffs from now on. No Dallas, no controversy. There, done. You’re welcome America.

Opening Kickoff

Wow, Roger Goodell decided to take in the Patriots/Ravens game rather than watch the defending champions, Ice Bowl II or Manning’s last stand. Coincidence? I think not. I’m sure he wanted to ensure the Ravens lost so the national conversation about domestic violence spurred by Ray Rice and his actions, and Baltimore’s and Goodell’s inept lying, could die out. Should have told the referees, looks like they missed a few penalties that could have set the Ravens back further, there Rog.

The Way It Was

Patriots 35 – Ravens 31

Amazing isn’t it how pedestrian the Ravens defense is when they’re actually flagged for their many transgressions. Shocking, really. Well, except for the blatant pass interference on Gronkowski. That’s still totally cool.

FINALLY we start seeing the dirty Raven play. I mean how can you get way with kneeing Brady in the head after a sack, and poking him in the eye? Apparently they’re going for the title of most deplorable team ON the field as well.

Perhaps its nostalgia brought on by knowing Brady doesn’t have many seasons left, and I’ve become accustomed to his face, but I never thought I’d enjoy his whining to the officials, but I’m found it enjoyable Saturday evening. I actually find myself rooting for the old man a bit too. I know, it feels weird.

Julian Edelman tossing his first professional pass, and completing it to Danny Amendola for a touchdown was super sweet. What a way to unleash your first pass.

Of course my favorite trickeration was the declared ineligible receiver play that confounded the Ravens defense and sent John Harbaugh into a meltdown reminiscent of his jackass brother. That was ever so sweet.

And speaking of sweet, THERE'S the "elite" Joe Flacco I've come to know and love. Welcome back Joe, where have you been hiding?

Well so was Joe Flacco’s performance. After being forced for two straight weeks about what a great playoff quarterback he is, how many playoff games he’s won and the relentless, obnoxious comparisons to Joe Montana, I was ready to puke. Flacco got luck with an epic hot streak at the right time. If he were so prolific, he should have had more Super Bowl wins. But like with Peyton Manning, we don’t talk about that aspect. But never mind, Flacco came through like I always knew he could, tossing two back breaking interceptions and going 1 for 9 on third down conversions. Elite quarterback my fat fanny.

So after that epic loss, you know the difference now between Baltimore and Pittsburgh? We’re division champions with a better draft spot. Such a satisfying ending. Thanks New England, and you stay classy Baltimore.

Seahawks 31 – Panthers 17

Forewarning, the champs are looking like CHAMPS.

Kam Chancellor’s 90 yard interception return for a touchdown was exquisite, and an absolute momentum changer. That play swung the game. Seattle was in control, but the Panthers fought hard the entire way. And if Carolina scores on that drive, the score is suddenly 24-24, and the champs find themselves in a tight game. Carolina was playing with house money anyway, so the pressure would have been entirely on Seattle. Chancellor flipped that script entirely.

The Panthers played well, but the Seahawks are at another level, and getting better. Plus, Russell Wilson is developing into a full blown franchise quarterback. Wilson threw for 268 yards and three touchdowns, and was 8 for 8 for 199 yards on third downs. That, kids is what elite looks like.

Packers 26 – Cowboys 21

A little too warm to be Ice Bowl II, but I’ll take it. Of course, showing those scenes from the actual Ice Bowl just made me shiver. Regardless, what a fun game. Such history right here with these two franchises, it just made it fun. You could almost hear John Facenda giving the play by play.

And exciting it was. The Packers were embodied by Aaron Rodgers, who had to keep fighting back through pain and a gimpy calf. The team had to keep fighting back throughout the game versus the onslaught of a tough Cowboy defense and stout Cowboy offense. Heck even running back Eddie Lacy missed some time due to issues with asthma. Must be the new Jerome Bettis.

The Packer defense, somewhat maligned, did a good job of minimizing Dez Bryant. Well, except for one play.

Aaron Rodgers is just so good, even one legged. I still think J.J. Watt should be the MVP, because quarterbacks get too much credit and Watt did more with much less to work with, but Rodgers is good.

Ok really? Davante Adams? Where in the name of all that is holy do the Packers keep finding these exciting young receivers?!?

For the Cowboys, just more missed opportunities and lack of a smart game plan killed them again. But Jason Garrett saved his job for at least another two years, so good for him.

I will give Garrett some credit. He was not afraid to go for it on 4^th down. Just the last time he did it he should have used Murray and not Bryant. This is what I mean by missed opportunities. The Cowboy running game was tearing things up all day, but Garrett kept trying to force the pass, which played into Green Bay’s defensive strength. Yeah, Bryant is a great weapon, but do you want him to get his touches, or do you want to win the game?

And I’m sorry, but Troy Aiken was wrong. The Cowboys had to go for it on 4^th and 2. At that moment, there were only 5 minutes left in the game and the Cowboy defense was wilting in 4^th quarter. A field goal would do nothing but narrow the deficit, as the team would still need another possession. With how the defense was playing, it’s possible the Cowboy offense would not get another possession. The best option was to go for it on 4^th down. Now I don’t agree with the play call but agree with going for it.

And let’s all just agree with this regarding the Bryant catch/non-catch. It was an amazing play, and amazing body control by a talented receiver. And until the NFL pulls their collective heads out of their asses and simplifies what constitutes a catch, more feats like that will go unrewarded. But at the minimum, it was karmic payback for the non-pass interference the week before.

Although I’m still amazed that was Mike McCarthy’s only victorious challenge all season. What a time to finally win one, right?

Colts 24 – Broncos 13

Yes, Peyton Manning is the all-time one and done champion with nine. But my goodness was that ever a massive turd he dropped on the field.

The man couldn’t move, not like he ever could, and it affected his throwing. Heck half the time I wondered if he was even able to throw the ball more than 3 yards past the line of scrimmage.

It didn’t help that the Colts knew Manning’s Achilles heel is playing under pressure. They put pressure on Manning all day, so add into his consternation his penchant for happy feet and suddenly the check down receiver was the busiest man all day.

I think Manning’s done, and I think he knows it. And that’s a sad way to go out. But it’s his own fault, and the fault of the sacrificed John Fox and offensive coordinator Adam Gase.

Now, you can say it was all due to Manning being injured, which was revealed after the game. But here’s my question about that. If Manning was so injured that it affected his performance so badly, why was he out there at all? He should, for the betterment of the team, sat on the bench. But the glorification of his own ego prevented this. And why didn’t Fox or Gase step in and say, Peyton, you’re hurt, let Brock Osweiler handle this. I know Peyton is the real boss, but come on. And for that matter, if Peyton’s been hurt for weeks, why wasn’t he resting and preparing for the playoffs and Osweiler playing the last three games of the season? If the team has so much confidence in Osweiler, as John Elway claims they do, then why didn’t he step in when the team needed him the most? Honestly, I think Elway has as much confidence in Osweiler, or as I like to call him the new Jim Sorgi, as he did in Tim Tebow. And that does not bode well for the future of the Denver Broncos.

The Steel Pit

The off season is always one of change, and change started in Pittsburgh early. The team parted ways with defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, who was clear that this was a resignation and not a retirement, and that he still wanted to coach. I suppose LeBeau did not want this to become another Bruce Arians situation.

In his wake, the team promoted longtime assistant and linebackers coach Keith Butler to the position of defensive coordinator. Butler had been the defensive coordinator in waiting for some time, and it appears to the Steelers this was the perfect opportunity for change. And like it or not, change is needed and is coming.

It shouldn’t be feared, change can be good, and sometimes very necessary. In this case, I believe it’s necessary for everyone. It’s necessary for the team, as otherwise they might have lost Butler, a coach of whom they think very highly. It’s necessary for LeBeau, who may have become too comfortable and set in his ways and habits. And it’s necessary for some very special members of Steeler Nation.

LeBeau’s departure will signal the end for veterans Ike Taylor, Brett Keisel, James Harrison and Troy Polamalu. If any of those men were on the fence between retiring and coming back, I imagine they won’t be now.

I believe the team knew it was time to let these men go, and finally let the younger players make a name for themselves. Now, whether LeBeau did not trust them or only trusted the veterans, or the mere presence of the veterans demanded they be played is unknown to me. But I think the team finally realized that the only way they could move on, was for everyone to move on.

LeBeau’s departure allowed the team do something they have been unable to do, and that’s let go of past glory. As long as he was around, the older vets on defense would never let go, and the team would not let them go. I think LeBeau knew this and agreed to step aside and move on to new challenges for himself as well.

In departing, LeBeau did two more wonderful things for the team. He gave them the ability to say goodbye to those who served them well for so long in a way that saves everyone’s dignity and respect. He gave the team, and the last standing vets, each a way to save face and say goodbye. And he gave the team a new shot in the arm with their new defensive future.

For one last time, I tip my hat to you Dick LeBeau. You were an amazing player, an innovative coach, a wonderful man, and a legendary Steeler. We thank you.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Is there anything funnier than Terry Bradshaw talking about shingles? I’m not mocking or minimizing the condition, just listening to Terry talk about it.

J.J. Watt was selected as an All Pro at 2 different positions. Now if he could only score touchdowns. Oh wait, he totally can!

Speaking of J.J. Watt, his poster survived a house fire. Even pictures of Watt are tougher than the average human.

Remember the Fail Mary game between Seattle and Green Bay? I’m sure it’s been mentioned this week. The replacement referee who made that erroneous call now suffers from PTSD and depression. No joke, that’s sad. I know sports can be taken too seriously, but goodness, this is terrible.

A former Dolphins player swam nine miles to shore after falling off his boat. Too bad he didn’t play for the Eagles, and he could have just flown back to shore.

To all those praying and rooting for young Leah Stills, don’t let up now. She is not cancer free, but she’s still fighting. If she’s not giving up, let’s not either. Go Leah!

And finally, a Washington town has banned cheese ahead of Seattle’s showdown with the Wisconsin based Packers. I’m all for team pride, but banning cheese? That’s just cruel.

Upon Further Review

“But I never once in all my dealings with the commissioner doubted his integrity. And I think that came out in the report as well.” – NBC analyst Cris Collinsworth during the Ravens/Patriots tilt

Like most of America, except for Ravens fans and wife beaters, I almost fell out of my seat in shock while holding in the puke when I heard Collinsworth spew these ridiculous words. I could not believe he had the audacity to say something so ridiculous and ignorant on national television. Yes, ultimately Goodell is his boss, but this went beyond saying, hey boss nice tie. This was something so groveling and kowtowing it was disgusting.

Once I regained my senses, I had a question for Cris. If that statement is true then I feel you’re either stupid, lying or part of the problem. Considering that you didn’t have to say anything after Al Michaels read his prepared segment, I’m going with the latter.

Since Cris was apparently too busy preparing his I heart Rog Infomercial for television rather than read any article about the entire fiasco over the last 4 months, the Mueller Report itself, or form a cognizant thought other than suck up to boss overlord, allow me to sum up things for good ol’ Cris.

Goodell was faced with another player wrapped up in a domestic violence situation, one that is far too common in the NFL. Like in most cases, he decided to look the other way to help out Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, who currently employs the most publicly celebrated wife beater in the NFL, so he could have his star player back. Then Bisciotti and Goodell could do what the NFL always does, sweep it under the rug, ignore it and wait for it to go away because quite frankly, the actions of the NFL have shown for years they don't care nor concern themselves with domestic violence. Unfortunately for Heir Goodell, this time there was damning, traumatic and shocking video of the assault.

When the video hit the public, and Goodell and the NFL are idiots for thinking in this day and age something like that would never see the light of day, predictably the general public lost their collective shit all over Rice, his wife, the Ravens and Goodell. Rog, sensing a potential dip in projected 2014 season profits, then did the only responsible and reasonable thing which was to admit fault, come clean with his dirty actions and resign in shame.

HA! No in reality he did what he knew to do naturally from years of walking the halls of power and law, he lied. From the moment the ruse hit the public eye, Goodell backpedaled, soft sold, lied and distracted everyone to confuse, obscure and cover the fact that he lied, let a serious crime skate past to help a friend, then threw another person to the wolves to cover his own tracks and showed his true concern overt domestic violence. And please Goodell, you can make all the lame ass No More commercials you want. But they’re filled with actors, who are trained to emote. The only thing phonier than those ads is the man who green lit them, Goodell.

The final piece of the lie was the Mueller Report, which remember was commissioned by the NFL, led by an NFL selected lawyer who works closely with the league and overseen by two NFL owners who are close friends with Goodell. The report basically said the NFL screwed up in handling the domestic violence issue and needs to get better at it, but not a single NFL soul knew about this videotape, even though mounds of evidence (the AP report law enforcement sent it to them, confirmation calls regarding the tape, Rice’s confession to Ravens security AND Goodell and more) that support not just knowledge of the tape’s existence, but its viewing by NFL personnel.

Plus, the report points out specific ways the NFL screwed up that almost proves, without empirical evidence (say a picture of Goodell holding the tape) that not only did the NFL know about the tape, but watched it!

But regardless of the tape, the NFL AFTER it screwed up the Rice issue had immediately two other domestic violence issues that it could have done right by, and STILL screwed those up in favor of the player, and not the victim or the cause to end domestic violence. Even if you believe Goodell didn’t see the tape, that he really didn’t know the severity of the assault, and he really was concerned with domestic violence (all wild stretches of the imagination, mind you), at that moment, with Greg Hardy and Ray McDonald he had opportunities to fix the issue. And still he did not.

The investigation is over, the Ravens lost, and the season winding down. The questions will quiet and people will move on. And Goodell again will get off scot-free. The owners don't care, he makes them money and keeps the public from noticing that THEY don't care about domestic violence. These men put their own well-being and bank accounts above the well-being of their employees, and the general public. They care more about money than they do safety, human dignity, compassion or law. Tell me again, Cris, how that equals a man of integrity.

A Thousand Words or Less

Andrew Weber/USA Today

Is it a catch? Did he make a football move? Was it a fumble in the end zone and recovered by Bryant? Only The Shadow knows…

Coaching Carousel

Weird, nothing happens with any coaching vacancies in the NFL, then suddenly, BOOM. Let’s catch up.

Buffalo – For some crackheaded reason, the team hired Jets castoff Rex Ryan, who immediately shifted into obnoxious Rex Ryan mode at his introductory press conference. I wonder, how is this a good move? Ryan had zero ability to create an exciting offense or develop a quarterback with the Jets, which are precisely the two most important things that need to happen in Buffalo for the Bills to finally be successful. Ryan claims this job is his last stop, but I doubt it. I see him in 4 years accepting the Dolphins head coaching position.

Chicago – It looks like they’ll hire Denver castoff John Fox. Hey, good for Fox, back in the NFC. I wonder if he’ll take the Bears to the Super Bowl and lose, make it three for three. Speaking of the Broncos…

Denver – To the surprise of many, Bronco management decided to part ways with Fox and go in a different direction. I wondered initially if they let Fox go so they could hold onto and promote offensive coordinator Adam Gase, who at one point was a hot head coach candidate. But now rumors are abound that former Bronco quarterback, longtime Bronco assistant and Texans head coach Gary Kubiak could be a target for the job abound. So much for building something special in Baltimore.

New York Jets – Hey, finally not a head coach retread! Good for you New York! The team stepped out and snapped up uber-hot head coach candidate Todd Bowles, formerly the defensive coordinator of the Arizona Cardinals. Bowles definitely has earned the opportunity from a football standpoint, but man, let’s hope he’s practiced handling the media. Those New York press wags are brutal!

Oakland – What about Oakland, did they do something special? Nope, back to reruns with the hiring of Jack Del Rio. I’m sure that’ll turn around this moribund franchise.

Pittsburgh – The team consciously uncoupled from longtime defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, and hired Keith Butler. Analysis can be found in the Steel Pit Section of this august publication.

San Francisco – At least you cannot accuse them of going with the same old, same old. The team promoted defensive line coach Jim Tomsula to the exulted position of first coach after Jim Harbaugh. This screams of a pure power move by general manager Trent Baalke. He won the power struggle with Harbaugh and ran him out of town. He could have went with the in-demand candidate on the staff (defensive coordinator Vic Fangio) but went with Tomsula, who has had no head coaching experience and would avoid anything beyond the coaches office, so Baalke can run the show. This will not end well for either man, and that's a shame since by all accounts Tomsula seems like a decent guy. Oh well, he didn’t have to take the job.

He Said He Said

“Disappointed is not the word. Shocked and disappointed.” – Cowboys owner Jerry Jones after the team’s loss to Green Bay

I bet Detroit feels the same way. But how can disappointed not be the word, but then IS the word. The confounding logic of Jerry Jones.

“Everyone knows the Calvin Johnson rule. When I saw the replay, I was confident right away it would be an incomplete pass.” – Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers

It’s true, he did. I saw him turn to the Green Bay coaches and tell them to R-E-L-A-X.

"Yeah, it's a substitution type of a trick type of a thing. So they don't give you the opportunity, they don't give you the chance to make the proper substitutions and things like that. It's not something that anybody's ever done before. The league will look at that type of thing and I'm sure that they'll make some adjustments and things like that." – Ravens head coach John Harbaugh after getting duped by the Patriots

The league did look at it. They determined that the Patriots followed the rules and it worked well. They also determined that if Harbaugh was too dumb to know the rules, or too stupid to not call a time out because his defensive felons couldn’t figure out the offensive situation, then it’s his own fault he looked like an ass clown on national television.

"Maybe those guys gotta study the rule book and figure it out." – Patriots quarterback Tom Brady in response to Harbaugh’s whining.

BURN!

"Yeah, I guess I can't just give that simple answer. I'm processing it. So I can't say that. I could not say that." – Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning on returning next year

Wow. I think this one hit him hard. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is it.

“Manning’s propensity to play his worst when the stakes are the highest is a huge and significant chapter in his record-breaking career.” – Sports Illustrated’s Don Banks

No kidding. Why are we just now finally talking about it?

“When we, the first time we created something called a tuck rule, it’s the only reason we know, I’m just being honest, the only reason we know who Tom Brady is, because of a tuck rule.” – Former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis

Boy, those Ravens just get full of sour grapes when they lose, don’t they? I hate to point this out to Ray Ray, but Brady seemed to make a decent name for himself AFTERWARDS by winning THREE of the next four Super Bowls. And by Ray Ray's screwed up logic, the only way we know who Ray Lewis is, because he killed two people and got away with it.

“I’m thankful.” – Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch’s only post game response to every question

I'm thankful for Marshawn Lynch, and his response to the NFL’s ridiculous policy.

“If Peyton Manning hangs up his cleats, who will Gatorade, Sony, Oreos, Sprint, Nationwide, DirecTV, Papa Johns, MasterCard and Buick turn to for paid endorsements?” – Tuesday Morning Quarterback’s Gregg Easterbrook

I’m guessing with another good post season run, Russell Wilson would be available. Now, if only he could be talked into some wacky antics.

Idiot of the Week

It must be the playoffs, because we had yet another banner week.

2^nd runner up – Denver Bronco fans – Good gravy, how spoiled are you? Yes the team was struggling, yes Peyton looked bad. But you started booing in the 2^nd quarter? At least wait until the 4^th before you turn on your own team.

1^st runner up – the Dallas Cowboys and fans – sorry everyone, but you can’t cheer when you get the benefit of an unpopular rule one week then bitch when you get burned by one the next.

Winner – Ravens head coach John Harbaugh – This quote says it all.

"We wanted an opportunity to be able to ID who the eligible players were. What they were doing was they announce the ineligible player and then Tom would take them to the line right away and snap the ball before we had a chance to figure out who was lined up where. That was the deception part of it. It was clearly deception.”

Oh my God what a colossal idiot! Yes, yes it was deception. That is the whole point of complicated offensive and defensive schemes, to confuse and deceive the opposing team and take advantage of the situation by either scoring points or stopping an offense. It’s why offenses put people in motion, and why defenses disguise their coverages, to deceive! Seriously, isn’t this first day stuff at head coaching school? You’re whining because the opposing head coach did exactly what he’s supposed to do, and you got fooled by it? And then you got your panties in such a wad you complained about getting bested to the refs, took a penalty and set up your opposition for an easy touchdown, a big score in a game you lost by 4 points, or the difference between a touchdown and a field goal. Somehow, you made getting fooled by one play so much worse, it’s unbelievable. Seriously, Harbaugh, you are such an idiot.

Honestly, he’s so stupid, I may give him the award again next week. Yikes.

On Tap This Week

It’s so sad once Divisional weekend is over. The field is cleaved in half yet again, so many teams go home disappointed and sad. It marks the point where there’s only 4 games left, well if you count the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl. It’s when we all realize, it’ll soon be over. Probably good after this season, but that’s another story.

Last week: 3-1

Post season to Date: 5-3

No more Cowboys, no more Ravens, heck I don’t even mind Brady milling around anymore. It’s a good week. Let’s get to the last truly competitive weekend of the NFL calendar.

Sunday

Green Bay (13-4) at Seattle (13-4)

Woof, this one is going to be good. Well, at least for one team. Green Bay and their one legged quarterback did a great job last week, but that was last week. This week, I don’t think they’ll have an answer for Marshawn Lynch, and I don’t think Pete Carroll would be dumb enough to stop running Lynch. Plus, I think Seattle’s defense is feeling it, and they know what it takes to win. I like both teams, but only one can win.

Seahawks over Packers

Indianapolis (12-5) at New England (13-4)

I’ll give Colts coach Chuck Pagano this, he’s not stupid. He called the NFL to find out more about the Patriots unorthodox formations. That at least makes him imminently more intelligent than John Harbaugh. New England is flawed. Their defense can be exposed, as the Ravens showed last week. But their offense can be explosive, again see last week. Indianapolis has a strong defense that can pressure a quarterback, and I could see them, in conjunction with their strong Andrew Luck-led offense, pull an upset. But after one of their players was charged with rape, I think the distraction level will be too high. It works for the Super Bowl, it works here too.

Patriots over Colts