The Crystal Ball 2014 Week 12

Congratulations Oakland. In the same week you were eliminated from post season play, you also eliminated yourself from relevancy in 2014 by winning a game. Bravo. (Insert slow clap here)

And dang it Andy Reid, I expected that performance from you last weekend, not on Thursday night!

Opening Kickoff

Browns defensive coaches this season have given each player a spiked dog collar. As a reward for a good play, players are given a dog bone tag for the collar. I don’t know whether to laugh, feel sad, or wonder if there’s some sort of insult hidden underneath it all.

The Way It Was

Sorry, forgot the only thing worse than the Bungles performance lately has been Rob Ryan’s defense.

Atlanta skyrocketed past New Orleans, thanks to a tie breaker, to grab the lead in the NFC South at a scintillating 4-6.

NFC South football, catch the excitement!

It’s a shame the Rams are not in the NFC South, they could own that division.

Here’s J.J. Watt’s line for last week: 1 touchdown, 1 sack, 1 fumble recovery, 3 tackles for loss and 2 penalties for roughing the punter. That’s a busy guy.

Congratulations to Chicago for winning their first home game this season. It took you long enough.

And congratulations to Peyton Manning who learned how to choke in an unimportant game against a subpar opponent. He’s just a perpetual student of the game that one. And before anyone throws out the excuse of all the injuries to offensive personnel, he still had a Thomas, Tamme and Welker, and that should be more than enough.

But let’s not forget young Eli. Congratulations to the youngest Manning who threw five interceptions in a game for the 2^nd time in his career. Look out Big Ben!

I told you the Browns were poised to fall apart. That’s an awful big crack in the façade, isn’t it?

I also told you the Cardinals were strong enough to weather the loss of Palmer. Carson played one position, on one side of the ball. Even if he played, he wouldn't be tasked to shut down Megatron. By the way, nice job Arizona defense on containing that superhuman.

Mike Evans is just the best thing of a bad team. Or is he the catalyst for something greater? More on this later.

Lovie Smith and Jeff Fisher took a ton of flak for pulling their young quarterbacks and installing journey men veterans Josh McCown and Shaun Hill, respectively. Well, after the Bucs annihilated the Snyders, and the Rams upset the Broncos, how stupid do these coaches look today? Ignore their overall records....

Boy, the shine sure wore off the Mark Sanchez bandwagon really fast.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 27 – Titans 24

I swear this team drives me to the brink of insanity sometimes. Monday night was a perfect example.

I’m glad they won going into the bye week, especially so I don’t have to stew about it for two weeks. But here’s what confuses me. How can this offensive unit look completely inept for half the game, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, be completely dominant? By mid-3^rd quarter, the offense had amassed a grand total of 6 points, allowed Roethlisberger to get sacked 5 times, and again had unleashed the fury of the screen play. Yet, after that they found their groove, took on two tremendous scoring drives, then grabbed the ball one last time and worked the last 7 minutes of the game off the clock, keeping Tennessee from ever having one more chance to tie or win. I’m just confounded.

The defense was adequate, but I wonder if that’s from improvement or just because the opponent was cover your eyes awful. The hopeful side of me wants to believe it’s the former. One way to improve the defense is to have Troy Polamalu return from injury and replace Mike Mitchell. Honestly, Mitchell is less than useless at this point. He is a legitimate liability on the football field. No wonder the defense gets beat so often. With Mitchell out there, they’re playing 10 on 11. He’s the second worst free agent signing of this past off season.

The worst is Patriots running back Legarrette Blount. You read that right. Blount, ticked off that he didn’t get to play on Monday night, walked off the field, changed, and walked to the team bus before the game was over. This ticked off a great deal of players in the Steeler locker room, with whom Blount’s act has grown very thin. It also had grown thin with Tomlin and company, and on Tuesday, they said adieu to the weed smoking quitter. On Thursday, Blount re-signed with the Patriots for the veteran minimum. Hopefully, he’ll sow discord and discontent into that locker room as well.

After that bizarre week, I think a bye week could not have come at a better time.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Ever lose your wallet and have a Super Bowl winning running back return it for you? This guy has.

In other Marshawn Lynch news, this article speculates 5 teams that could possibly be new homes for the running back next season. The hilarity of the article comes with the very first entry, for the New England Patriots. The author contends the Patriots are always searching for talent and willing to spend money. Ummm, no they aren’t. They’re always searching for talent because they refuse to spend money. If they were willing to spend, Wes Welker, Adam Vinatieri and Logan Mankins would all still be Patriots.

Speaking of speculation, here’s more discussion of potential future LA teams, all surprisingly former LA teams who still have no new stadia.

Since it seems to be a silly time of the season, let’s speculate just a tad more. Could Oakland be the perfect spot for Jim Harbaugh? Considering most people would like to throw him in a black hole, I’ll say yes.

We may find out sooner than later, since 49er players are benching themselves. Let’s go player revolt!

Apparently, Phillip Rivers is playing with a rib injury. I always thought it was a broken volume control that was holding him back.

The Denver Broncos fully expect Peyton Manning to return in 2015 for another year of regular season excellence and post season failure.

Sports Illustrated had a great interview with NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith and NFLPA president Eric Winston in which both men discuss the union and its members issues with the current commissioner. Perhaps the players should have held out longer in 2011 and not given Goodell such unilateral power, and perhaps we wouldn’t have these issues today. Just a thought.

Upon Further Review

After Tampa Bay’s demolition of Washington, the Buccaneers improved their record to 2-8. Mercifully for Tampa fans everywhere, the team plays in the NFC South, and a 2-8 record buys you a spot only 2 games out of first place. Technically, at this point of what is a miserable looking season, Tampa is in playoff contention.

I know, that should be a joke, but it’s not. With a few wins, Tampa Bay could be hosting a Wild Card round playoff game. But I say it will be more than that. I say Tampa Bay will win the Super Bowl with a .500 record! Want to know how? Read on, intrepid adventurer.

Tampa at 2-8 has remaining games at Chicago, home for Cincinnati, at Detroit, at Carolina, home for Green Bay and New Orleans.

New Orleans (4-6) has home for Baltimore, at Pittsburgh, home for Carolina, at Chicago, home for Atlanta and at Tampa Bay.

Atlanta (4-6) has Cleveland, Arizona, at Green Bay, Pittsburgh, at New Orleans and Carolina.

New Orleans could realistically finish the season on a 2-4 run and with their opponents; Atlanta could go 1-5. If Tampa could pull 4-2, which would include winning both division games, we could see them shockingly hosting a playoff game at 6-10.

So, who will their opponent be? Right now, the NFC playoff picture, minus the NFC South division winner, would be Philadelphia, Detroit, Arizona, with Dallas and Green Bay as wild cards. Arizona and Detroit pull bye weeks as the top seeds.

Wild Card: Philadelphia hosting Green Bay, and Tampa Bay hosting Dallas. The Eagles, having learned from their earlier drubbing, stifle the Packers and advance to the divisional round. Tampa Bay does little, but Dallas has no idea how to win in January, and predictably falls apart. Tampa advances.

Divisional Round: Detroit hosting Philadelphia, Arizona hosting Tampa Bay. This is the week the backup quarterback syndrome catches up with the big teams. The Eagles completely fall apart under the stewardship of Mark Sanchez, and Detroit advances. Arizona cannot solve the riddle of Mike Evans, and Drew Stanton can do nothing offensively in one of the biggest upsets in NFL playoff history. Tampa advances.

Championship Round: Detroit hosting Tampa Bay. A no brainer on paper, right? Wrong. Remember, Detroit is now led by Jim Caldwell, who has shown he may not have the chops to coach big pressure games. Lovie Smith, Tampa’s head man, was one average quarterback from dethroning Peyton Manning, and now he has two average quarterbacks. Tampa advances.

The Super Bowl: Tampa Bay vs. Pittsburgh: In a twist almost as strange as Tampa Bay making the big game at 9-10, Pittsburgh managed to navigate the AFC when their offense caught fire in Week 17 and nothing Todd Haley did could extinguish the fire. However, now on the biggest stage, Haley cannot get out of his own way, Tomlin spends two weeks teaching his team how to play down to the level of their competition and Tampa, emboldened by the fact that their first win of the season came against this very same Pittsburgh squad, rolls onto the field with no fear and 100% confidence. They finish their season with bookend victories over the Steelers. Tampa Bay wins.

We’re through the looking glass people.

Don’t believe this could happen? No one Peyton Manning could win a championship game either, and he did it once.

A Thousand Words Or Less

Derek Gee/The Buffalo News

Somewhere under those 220,000 tons of snow is Ralph Wilson Stadium. This is why there is a Jets versus Bills game in Detroit on Monday night. And why the Browns versus Bills game slated for November 30^th may also become a roadshow.

He Said He Said

“The Steelers are, by far, the most confounding team in the NFL this season.” – Sportsnaut From Yardbarker

No surprise to Steeler fans.

“No no no no no. I'm still annoyingly optimistic and confident.” – Saints quarterback Drew Brees after New Orleans lost at home to Cincinnati

I don’t know how he is, based upon how his team plays.

“The great quarterbacks the Peytons the Aaron Rodgers. Those guys don't play well if their guys don't play well. It takes 11 men. It doesn't take one guy.” – Snyders quarterback Robert Griffin III

Huh, funny that he’d invoke the name Peyton Manning while throwing his teammates under the bus.

"First of all, Robert needs to understand he needs to worry about himself No. 1 and not everybody else. It's my job to worry about everybody else. Yes, everybody else needs to improve, but it's not his place.” – Snyders head coach Jay Gruden on RGIII calling out his teammates

Gruden later apologized for calling out his quarterback, thus losing any credibility and respect he once had and accelerating his timeframe for getting fired.

“There is a growing discontent. There is a strong questioning. There is confusion, and then the anger sets in, and then [they ask], ‘What is he doing?’ All we have ever heard is, We have to protect the integrity of the shield. I think guys are starting to ask themselves now, how can we protect the integrity of the shield if you are not going to act with any integrity?” – NFLPA president Eric Winston on how the players feel about Roger Goodell

Yeah, Eric, fans are feeling that way too.

“Welcome back, Josh Gordon! You know him as the guy who taught us all a valuable lesson: that the current NFL commissioner could keep his job after believing the penalty for getting high twice should be five times greater than the penalty for brutally punching out a woman in a casino elevator.” – Grantland.com’s Bill Simmons

Ooooh, that was a wicked burn. Wait, now for some harsh truth…

“Does the league even have a big-picture priority right now other than cashing checks, sweeping mistakes under the rug, changing punishment standards on the fly, and belatedly pretending to care about domestic violence and other forms of abuse?” – Grantland.com’s Bill Simmons

Damn straight. And that of course brings us to…..

Idiot of the Week

I thought about giving it to the Saints fan who stole the ball from the Bengals fan. But he had to watch his team get manhandled by Andy Dalton, so he’s been punished enough.

No, this week it feels like time to give the crown again to Roger Goodell. In his infinite wisdom, Goodell decided to overcorrect for the multitude of mistakes he made in “punishing” Ray Rice by making a whole new batch of mistakes by suspending Adrian Peterson for the remainder of this season without pay.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How is it a mistake to punish a man who beat his child? Well, let’s see….

1) Peterson was already punished by being “suspended” from Week 3 until now. Kicking him out for the remainder of the season makes him being punished twice for the same infraction, which is the basis for Ray Rice’s beef against the NFL. A beef that while we had to hear all about the infamous two day hearing, somehow we have yet to hear at all about any sort of decision. Even though we all know what the results will be. Goodell knew, Bisciotti too, but the public blew a gasket, so Rice flew under the bus.

2) Goodell’s overcorrection on Peterson’s punishment is another example of the NFL’s inconsistent standards on punishing players, an issue that grows weekly.

3) Goodell coming down on Peterson is meant to be a show of force, and an example to other players involved in criminal activity. However other players, who have been arrested for domestic violence, this season AFTER Rice was suspended, have yet to miss one game of playing time.

4) Peterson’s punishment and the continued suspension of Ray Rice are supposed to show how the NFL cares and takes a strong stand against domestic violence, child abuse, and other crimes. Yet, it’s plainly obvious the NFL could care less about anyone or anything except money. As mentioned previously, other players accused of domestic violence are still playing this weekend. The only way these two were ever truly punished was due to public outcry and the threat of sponsors leaving. The league continues to cover up for players who commit these crimes, to the point of disturbing as this article starkly points out. Teams dispense drugs to players to keep them on the field, much to the detriment of players’ future health and on the edge of legality, a situation that has the attention of the DEA. Never mind how they spent years burying information on the true damage caused by concussions. And just to put the nail in the despicable coffin, as this article points out the NFL donates so little of the money it generates from its annual breast cancer awareness campaign its beyond shameful. Combine this with their lack of concern regarding domestic violence; it’s a double insult to all female NFL fans.

5) Goodell suspended Peterson because he did not feel Peterson was remorseful enough. Yet he let Ray Rice off the hook with a measly two game suspension initially because he felt Rice was adequately remorseful. He’s punishing people, and affecting their livelihoods, based upon his feelings and no real quantitative information or methods.

It adds up pretty fast, no?

So Roger Goodell, for being a rather despicable, soulless human being who cares for the well-being and financial stability of billionaires over everyone else, and making it more difficult every single day to be an NFL fan, you are an idiot.

In contrast, I would like to bring everyone's attention to Steelers cornerback William Gay, who is a key advocate in the fight against domestic violence. Gay lost his mother at a young age due to domestic violence, and has made working to eradicate this horrible crime part of his life's work. If Roger Goodell and the NFL truly gave a damn about domestic violence and eliminating it from the NFL, and setting a proper example for society as a whole, they would follow the example William Gay has set in working in the community and speaking out. Goodell is a fraud who speaks hollow words and promises empty actions. Mr. Gay is a great man, doing wonderful work who backs up his strong words with meaningful actions. Thank you William Gay, please continue the good work, which has the side effect of bringing nothing but shame and embarrassment to the commissioner. You are a great man.

On Tap This Week

Last week looked like it would be an abject disaster.

Last week: 10-4

Thursday: 0-1

Season to Date: 109-54

Hey, if Pittsburgh would have kicked one more field goal, I’d have been a big winner. As it stands, I’m just a regular sized one.

Sitting at home, trying to figure out who they really are:

Carolina, Pittsburgh

Sunday

Tennessee (2-8) at Philadelphia (7-3)

Even Mark Sanchez should be able to take care of the bumbling Titans. In theory.

Eagles over Titans

Cincinnati (6-3-1) at Houston (5-5)

I was a week early waiting for Andy Reid to reveal himself. I think I was a week early for the Bungles as well. This week should correct things.

Texans over Bungles

Tampa Bay (2-8) at Chicago (4-6)

Do I think Tampa can win this game? Absolutely. But I’m going to play the warm weather team in a cold weather city card on this one.

Bears over Buccaneers

Detroit (7-3) at New England (8-2)

Until the Legarrette Blount syndrome takes effect, I’m still going with New England.

Patriots over Lions

Cleveland (6-4) at Atlanta (4-6)

I know the Browns are on the precipice of falling apart, but they’ll hold it together for this game.

Browns over Falcons

Green Bay (7-3) at Minnesota (4-6)

Go Pack Go! How do you spell relax? R-O-D-G-E-R-S!

Packers over Vikings

Jacksonville (1-9) at Indianapolis (6-4)

Just what a smarting Colts team needs to salve the wounds inflicted by New England and Pittsburgh.

Colts over Jaguars

St. Louis (4-6) at San Diego (6-4)

Just call it a suspicion. Or perhaps I’m just talking myself into something. But darn it, can’t you just see this happening? I can.

Rams over Chargers

Arizona (9-1) at Seattle (6-4)

I don’t know if Seattle will find their mojo again this season. But I don’t think they’ll do it this week. That Cardinal defense has a beast mode of its own.

Cardinals over Seahawks

Miami (6-4) at Denver (7-3)

No way Peyton Manning loses two games in a row. The NFL will not allow it.

Broncos over Dolphins

Washington (3-7) at San Francisco (6-4)

I cannot pick Washington to win a game of rock-paper-scissors in good conscience. They are a hot mess, from the top down.

49ers over Snyders

Dallas (7-3) at New York Giants (3-7)

Yeah, you can almost sense the Cowboy failure coming. But I think they’ll stumble to a victory. They don’t fall apart until after they’re full of turkey and stuffing.

Cowboys over Giants

Monday

New York Jets (2-8) at Buffalo (5-5)

Moved to Monday night, and to Detroit, due to the apocalyptic snow that has blanketed Buffalo, this game is far harder for the Bills than the Jets. New York had already planned on travelling. Buffalo only expected to drive to the stadium. As it is their preparation has been affected, their travel thrown together, and their team all over the place physically and emotionally. Players had to be whisked to Ralph Wilson Stadium for work on snow mobiles! The toll of this week will show.

Jets over Bills

Baltimore (6-4) at New Orleans (4-6)

I know, I know. New Orleans stinks. That defense is awful. But Baltimore is rather over rated themselves. And this just seems like the right time to go against the grain.

Saints over Ravens