The Crystal Ball 2014 Week 11

So what happened last week? That’s right, as I predicted Peyton Manning had a statistically amazing day throwing 5 touchdowns, and all everyone could talk about was how Manning successfully rebounded from the previous week's loss. Never did they take into account the quality of opponent (Patriots A+ Raiders F-) pressure of games (high versus none) and the national audience (almost everyone vs. almost no one). Now raise your hands if you're surprised Peyton Manning looked unbeatable against a terrible opponent after looking inept against a great one. No one? Well, it would seem Captain Obvious has struck again.

Opening Kickoff

Carson Palmer, enjoying a career renaissance that we just spoke about, was lost for the season with an ACL and MCL injury. To paraphrase a recently referenced quote:

You know I was just about to have a little sympathy for you but if you’re going to take it there, I don't care if he's hurt or not ....so!....and!....let's go! Palmer is done, and I hope you don't think that Stanton is going to win this game for you.

I was the bad guy once again. I laughed at their sorrows.

The Way It Was

Stupid New Orleans. You had that damn game. Why did you let it get away and buy Harbaugh another week of reprieve?

Here’s a question, how is Michael Crabtree that wide open on 4th and 10? Good gravy Rob Ryan, learn to call a defensive game plan.

Stupid Harbaughs Won. Stupid Ryans screwed me twice. I hate NFL brothers. Watch it Mannings or you’ll be next on my list.

Oh Neck Beard, it would appear the wheels are coming off. How sad.

Woof, it was raining cats and dogs in Seattle. I kept thinking, what happened if it were colder and that was snow? That would have been epic.

Speaking of epic, that was Marshawn Lynch’s day. He scored four monster rushing touchdowns. Wait, 4 touchdowns in one game, he’s Al Bundy!

In the same game Richard Sherman had a great pass defense that lead to a critical Giants turnover. It caused me to be briefly worried that Sherman might perform another postgame rant to Erin Andrews and cause nimrods everywhere to stupidly lose their minds. I guess Sherman saves exposing the moronic public for the playoffs.

The Cleveland Browns on Sunday achieved sole possession of first place in the AFC North. They also found themselves ranked in the Top 10 of NFL Power Rankings. You can almost hear the other shoe sailing toward the floor, can’t you? Just for perspective, the last time the Browns were in sole possession of 1st place, the AFC North didn't even exist. The more you know.

I guess Tony Romo is healed. Well, until December.

Oh, Aaron Rodgers dropped six touchdown passes on the Bears defense? Ho hum. If you want to impress me, do it again this week.

Apparently John Brown's touchdown dance is the Humpty Dance. Count me as a fan.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 13 – Jets 20

It will never cease to amaze, and frustrate, me how this team manages to consistently play to the level of their competition. And in the case of sub-.500 teams, look atrocious doing it.

Despite the protestations of the coaching staff and players all week, I’d like to point out there is a big difference between saying you will not have a letdown game, and PLAYING like you will not have a letdown game. This was just brutal to watch from start to finish. And truth be told, to avoid my head exploding, the Lady K went for a nice walk through the neighborhood during the 3^rd quarter. We missed absolutely nothing of consequence.

The team played so terrible, the only way there was even a glimmer of hope at the end was because of how cover your eyes awful the Jets are. Seriously, they had three or 4 good plays in the 4^th quarter, and then treaded water for the remainder of the game. If Pittsburgh had put forth this sort of effort against, say Denver or New England, it would have been 42-0 by halftime. Actually, if it had been Denver or New England, Pittsburgh might have put forth a better effort.

But blame goes to everyone. Big Ben and Antonio Brown, fresh off a week of everyone feting them appropriately, both turned the ball over twice. The defense, being lauded for turning things around, couldn’t force one single turnover. The passing game, which shredded two good teams, couldn’t get anything going against the worst secondary in the NFL. And the special teams looked anything but special, and that’s as kind as I’ll be.

Toddy Haley and Mike Tomlin forgot EVERYTHING from the past three weeks. Haley decided the previous play calling was too successful, so he brought back an overdose of the ridiculous screen play and lateral plays. Then on 1^st and goal from the 2 yard line, Haley sends in a package that includes James Harrison, but does not include Antonio Brown, Le’Veon Bell OR Markus Wheaton. I’m still mind boggled by that one.

Tomlin, for his part, once again had his team ill prepared to play an opponent with a losing record, a disturbing trend of his tenure. He also chickened out twice on 4^th and goal, but we’ll get into that later.

It was just a bad game overall, but it did have a silver lining. Steeler fans are no longer thinking, or complaining, about the Tampa Bay game.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall is working on a boxing challenge with a fan through Twitter. I tend to find athletes, who get into this sort of social media nonsense with fans incredibly stupid, as the athlete has nothing to gain and everything, including their livelihood, to lose. The Bears feel similarly, as the team’s GM reminded Marshall to read his contract which prohibits such activities.

Broncos backup quarterback Brock Osweiler got caught on camera expressing frustration because he thought he’d get into the game for Peyton Manning, but Manning went back in to finish the 3^rd quarter of a blowout win. Osweiler continues the proud tradition of Manning mop up boys started by Jim Sorgi and Curtis Painter.

Speaking of Denver, former cornerback Champ Bailey will sign a 1 day contract to officially retire a Denver Bronco. No word yet whether Bailey will unretired in a month and suit up again for the team should they be faced with a rash of injuries to the secondary.

Disgruntled Bear fans took seriously an article by The Onion that claimed Jay Cutler was blaming the punter for the team’s woes. In the fans’ defense, I found this premise incredibly believable. Seriously, you could see Cutler doing this, right?

Seattle’s Auger hawk mascot Taima decided to go rogue prior to Sunday’s game, and landed on a fan’s head. Considering Marshawn Lynch’s performance the same day, I’m betting Seahawk fans hope this happens more often.

A bunch of Cowboys missed curfew in London, and the author of this report felt this was just wrong. Now, I agree you shouldn’t take any opponent lightly, see Pittsburgh at New York Jets Week 10. b\But hey, if you’re too worried about a few boys out at the pub grabbing a pint and some fish and chips in jolly ol’ London, then perhaps you need to have your fun-o-meter checked, because I believe it’s at zero.

This article illustrates and quantifies the NFL traveling fan. Am I surprised the Steelers and Cowboys are number one? No. I was fascinated to so see that an extra 25% of tickets are sold on the secondary market when the Steelers or Cowboys come to town. See, Steeler Nation travels well; it’s not just a marketing ploy.

ESPN is reporting that after the season Chicago could trade Jay Cutler after the season and save $12.5 Million of cap space. There’s one problem with this scenario. What team is desperate, or stupid, enough to want to trade FOR Cutler?!? Wait, never mind.

Upon Further Review

Now that his legal situation is settled, running back Adrian Peterson is working to be reinstated into the NFL. In theory, once his legal situation was rectified, Peterson should have been removed from the commissioner’s list and faced disciplinary punishment. However, he has not been removed from this list, and still hasn’t faced any punishment.

The NFL had scheduled a pre-discipline hearing on Friday, but Peterson was a no show. The NFL is spinning this absence against Peterson, but the star is telling a different story.

Peterson came out and denied that he skipped the meeting, and called the NFL on the carpet. Peterson is claiming the NFL is trying to circumvent the CBA between the league and the players union as it pertains to discipline in his particular case. In his words:

“The process they are pushing is arbitrary, inconsistent, and contrary to what they agreed to do, and for those reasons, I never agreed to the hearing. I'm sorry for all of this, but I can't excuse their refusal to be fair.”

In other words, Peterson is calling bullshit on the NFL for making up crap as they go along. And much to my surprise, I’m rooting for Peterson.

Before you freak out, mind you I am not condoning Peterson’s actions, and still have questions whether he understands what he did was wrong and why it was wrong. And I have questions whether he’s doing everything because he’s learned a lesson or rather he’s just doing what’s necessary to play football again.

Why I’m rooting for Peterson is because the NFL is making this up as they go along, and it needs to stop. The NFL has been for years inconsistent and capricious in their disciplinary measures, with the only consistency being people are punished the hardest for exposing the fallacy of Goodell’s “safety” policy.

Peterson is calling bullshit the same way Ray Rice is calling bullshit and more power to them. Rice is being railroaded to cover up the NFL, Goodell and the Ravens ignoring evidence to make a problem go away before the public saw it. Peterson will be railroaded and made into an example by the NFL to try to prove they are tough on punishing players for off the field criminal behavior.

But the NFL is not tough. If they were, players mixed up in felony charges would be sitting on the bench until the legal system moves along, but they don’t. The NFL is selectively tough based upon what hurts their image the most and what threaten revenue streams rather than what is right by basic human decency, compassion and concern.

It may seem absurd to put such standards of behavior and morality on professional football, but the NFL and organizations like them should embody higher standards. At its core, the NFL is merely entertainment. It’s an escape from the daily grind, from the troubles people face in their own lives, and from the horrors and reality of a volatile and dangerous world. We look to entertainment venues to give our minds and souls a small respite from a constant barrage of atrocities, horrific behavior and daily stressors. But when those we root for and provide the entertainment venue are the same ones committing some of the atrocities and bad behavior, where do we turn to for an escape?

This is why it’s essential that the NFL be held to a higher standard. However right now those in charge of providing this entertainment and setting the standard, the owners and Roger Goodell, have been falling far short of establishing and holding true to a higher standard. Sadly, men we have vilified for their abhorrent behavior, specifically Peterson and Rice, are the same people calling out the NFL for their failings of putting profit and money over humanity.

The NFL is nothing more than an entertainment venue. But it is a very wealthy and powerful venue. With its power and influence, the NFL could do a great deal of good from its position in our society. I question if those in charge care for that to happen, or are happy to give such good mere lip service. Depending upon how the Peterson and Rice situations unfold could dramatically affect who will lead the NFL in the future. I believe a change is necessary for the NFL to truly be as great, both on and off the field, as it can be. And for that, I root for Peterson and Rice to expose the hypocrisy and affect change as much as I hope for them to truly learn from their terrible actions. Like Red, I hope.

A Thousand Words or Less…

Cam Heyward Instagram Account

Franco Harris and his teammates hung out with Frank Sinatra. The 2014 Steelers get Justin Bieber. No wonder we lose to teams like the Jets and Buccaneers.

He Said He Said

“We shot ourselves in the foot. You’re not going to win any football games with you’re minus-four in the turnover margin.” – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

You don’t win many throwing a dozen bubble screens a game either, and yet you continually try that moronic game plan.

 

"I think I was saying, 'Thank you.’” – Jets head coach Rex Ryan, joking about his profanity laced tirade directed at the officials over their unsportsmanlike penalty against Jets quarterback Michael Vick

Ha ha, that’s a funny one there Rexy. You know what’s funnier? The $100,000 fine the NFL slapped on you for being a raging douche bag. You know what’s even funnier than that? You’re team is 2-8 and you’re headed for the unemployment line. Good luck.

"No, I don't think so," Matthews said. "I don't think he's that smart. He's an inside backer, after all." – Packers linebacker Clay Matthews, responding to comments made by his brother Casey who stated Clay did not like the move from outside to inside linebacker

Wow, that was a double bazinga, not only did he get his brother, but also threw a little self-effacing humor his own way, and took a shot at new position. Hmmm, now I’m in the mood for his Fathead commercial….

Hee hee, still holds up.

"Right now, I'm solidifying myself in the league. But in a couple years, if I've done that," he says, "I'll start reading those MCAT books again." – Cardinals kicker Chandler Catanzaros, who passed up medical school for an NFL tryout

Wow, how impressive is this young man? But I believe he can do both. Think about it, if Catanzaros plays a few years in the NFL, he could have some great first hand research into the NFL concussion issue, and perhaps a fascinating perspective to potentially make new medical inroads.

“They’re also riding the residual karma of how wonderfully they handled Ray Rice’s situation from start to finish, especially the part where Ravens owner and frequent Roger Goodell golf buddy Steve Bisciotti held a 45-minute press conference to discredit ESPN.com’s September 19 Outside the Lines report that “found a pattern of misinformation and misdirection employed by the Ravens and the NFL” after Ray Rice’s elevator attack, then followed up by saying nothing about them ever again.” – Grantland.com’s Bill Simmons

Seriously, every week I look forward to Simmons blasting Goodell, the Ravens, the NFL, his employer ESPN or all of the above. He pretty much got everyone in one sentence this week.

Idiot of the Week

 Man, every idiot came from the same game this week, and 10 bucks says you can guess which game. First our runners up.

3^rd and 2^nd runners up go to Michael Vick and Rex Ryan, respectively. Vick had a decent game, probably the first one he’s had in years and definitely the first one this season, and screwed it up by acting like a defiant jerk and drawing an end of the game personal foul for unsportsmanlike conduct. Ryan, incensed that the officials called out his quarterback for acting like an asshole, doubled down by acting like a grade A ass himself, dropping a ridiculous amount of profanity on the officials which in turn drew him a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct.

1^st runner up goes to Steelers safety Mike Mitchell. Mitchell could win for a number of reasons, including ripping off the team with his overpriced contract for poor production. But this week he gets honored for stupidly and classlessly leaping over the Jets victory formation at the end of the game. The Jets freaked out, and rightfully so.

The eason teams go into victory formation is because they know the other team can do nothing to change the outcome. That’s why all players don’t fire off the line, it’s concessionary. Leaping over the line in a desperation move is unsportsmanlike and dangerous. Jets center Nick Mangold had reason to get pissed at Mitchell. And by the way Mitchell, if you’d shown that level of desperation earlier in the game, perhaps the outcome would be different.

But our winner is Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin, who did everything possible to win this award. For the umpteenth time in a row, he had is team unprepared to play an inferior opponent, and the results showed on the scoreboard and in the standings. According to Mitchell, Tomlin told him to make that stupid leap over the line. If that’s true, that makes Tomlin as stupid as former Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano, who was an arrogant, talentless hack. Not good company.

And to top all of that off twice on 4^th and goal from inside the 5 yard line in the 4^th quarter, Tomlin chickened out and sent in the field goal unit instead of trying for the touchdown. Remembered, this was against an opponent who was giving up touchdowns at an alarming rate and whose offense was suspect at best. If Tomlin had tried, best result was 14 points and a lead. Instead, he netted 3 points, as one of the field goal attempts, at point blank range, was no good.

As you can see, the choice is obvious. Mike Tomlin, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Cleveland trouncing Cincinnati started out last week so great, but Washington losing just skunked the week. Thanks Dan Snyder!

Last week: 10-3

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 99-49

Ok, it wasn’t horrible, but it kept me from winning the week. That’s enough to throw bile on Snyder right?

Sitting at home, mostly pleased with themselves

Baltimore, Dallas, Jacksonville, New York Jets

Sunday

Cincinnati (5-3-1) at New Orleans (4-5)

After last week, I have zero confidence in Cincinnati. I don’t feel much better about the Saints defense, either. But this week, I think Cincinnati earns back their derisive moniker.

Saints over Bungles

Houston (4-5) at Cleveland (6-3)

Houston looks to be falling apart, starting Ryan Mallet at quarterback and rookie Alfred Blue at running back. Cleveland is now in first place and could solidify their position. You can almost smell the comic/tragic downfall coming, right?

Texans over Browns

Minnesota (4-5) at Chicago (3-6)

They’re talking about trading Jay Cutler. Time for one of those games where he shows his potential.

Bears over Vikings

Tampa Bay (1-8) at Washington (3-6)

I could see Washington winning big with RGIII establishing he’s back, or Tampa Bay winning a blowout. I guess home team. I guess.

Snyders over Buccaneers

San Francisco (5-4) at New York Giants (3-6)

Ugh. After last week, now San Francisco will be feeling their mojo, they’ll start winning again and we’ll all be forced to hear about the genius  of Jim Harbaugh. Bleech.

49ers over Giants

Seattle (6-3) at Kansas City (6-3)

This looks to be a great game. Two things that stand out to me. I think Seattle has found their mojo after last week. And Kansas City has been so under the radar that I have no idea how good or bad they are. But Andy Reid is involved, and if the game is close, he’ll botch it.

Seahawks over Chiefs

Atlanta (3-6) at Carolina (3-6-1)

I went back and forth on this one. And the final outcome could be the same. But if Cam Newton is playing hurt, that severely hampers Carolina, even against a bad opponent.

Falcons over Panthers

Denver (7-2) at St. Louis (3-6)

Peyton Manning throws a bunch of touchdowns against a cruddy team and wins another meaningless regular season game. Ho hum.

Broncos over Rams

Oakland (0-9) at San Diego (5-4)

Ahhh, just what the refreshed Chargers need to right their season, an crappy Oakland team.

Chargers over Raiders

Detroit (7-2) at Arizona (8-1)

I know Chicken Little is crying with Carson Palmer lost for the season. But remember Arizona started the season with Drew Stanton under center. I think this team is strong enough to be successful without Palmer. Today they will prove it.

Cardinals over Lions

Philadelphia (7-2) at Green Bay (6-3)

From the National Weather Service, the tundra will be frozen. Repeat the tundra will be frozen. That is all.

Packers over Eagles

New England (7-2) at Indianapolis (6-3)

Yeah, I’m gonna go with Tom Terrific. He likes beating Indianapolis, no matter the quarterback.

Patriots over Colts

Monday

Pittsburgh (6-4) at Tennessee (2-7)

It’s Roethlisberger versus Mettenberger, the battle of the bergers! Ok, I got nothing, except a raging headache thinking of the possibility of Pittsburgh blowing this game too. Yikes.

Steelers over Titans