The Crystal Balll 2014 Week 8

Amidst much fanfare, Peyton Manning broke yet another NFL record that eventually will be broken by someone else. Lo and behold, it happened on Thursday night. Some quarterback for the Broncos broke it several times while tossing touchdowns against the Chargers. Records are made to be broken.

Opening Kickoff

According to an NFL official, in the league’s revamped approach toward domestic violence the legal process will play a role in determining punishment. Players will not be punished immediately upon accusation or arrest, but at a later date in the legal process. So if I understand this correctly, the NFL is going through a big hub bub right now to keep the process and punishment just as it is now. Discipline will occur farther down the road so not to impact current team play, and the public has time to forget about the crime, so punishment can be light and basically nonexistent. Good revamp their Goodell.

The Way It Was

Wow, there it is. Oh how I’ve missed it so. It’s been so long, I even began doubting its existence. But no, it is real! The true power of the Neck beard revealed itself for a true last second victory! Buffalo revels in joy.

Holy crap are the Bengals reverting to the Bungles fast. Indianapolis just destroyed them. Wait, what? The Steelers play Indy this week? Oh crap oh crap oh crap....

Well, that feel good story out of Cleveland sure fell apart fast. And how did we get killed by this team again? Watching them last week, it’s pretty obvious Cleveland can’t run the ball effectively without Alex Mack. Future Browns opponents, you’re welcome.

Two officiating nightmares occurred last week. The first, the turnover/non turnover in St. Louis. How can that not be reviewed by the officials? The game was on the line, and they decided to anoint a winner before time expired. Unbelievable. That being said, nice performance by the Rams special teams unit.

The second occurred between Detroit and New Orleans. Now I know the Saints are having an atrocious season, which happens from time to time. But on the key turnover that led to Detroit’s winning margin, the Lion defense was offside before the play began. That there was no flag or that no one seemed to notice and bring it up is stunning.

In other Saints news, boy does Rob Ryan's defense suck.

Along those lines, boy does Chicago’s defense suck. The only way that team's winning is in a barnburner score fest. Oh right, Jay Cutler. Awkward

Now tell me Green Bay fans, are you glad you took Aaron Rodgers’ advice and R-E-L-A-Xed? Yeah, I thought you would be. He’s a pretty smart cookie; you should probably have a little faith in him.

No one expected Colt McCoy! Actually that’s true. I doubt even McCoy expected it. This provides an interesting new change at the helm for the Snyders and an unfortunate turn of events for Kirk Cousins. That’ll put a hamper on his big payday out of town. At least for now, it looks like RGIII's job is pretty safe. Subway you may continue your advertising campaign.

Again, who saw the Cardinals as the cream of the NFC West crop? Bruce Arians, put your hand down, your vote doesn't count.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 30 – Texans 23

I don’t know who that Steeler team was at the end of the second quarter, but I sure hope they stick around.

Unfortunately I know who that Steeler team was in the first quarter, and let’s hope they hit the road.

Nice game overall I should say. It looked rough at first, with J.J. Watt causing havoc and Arian Foster running at will. For a while, it looked like a Texans runaway victory.

But thanks to a few timely turnovers, some mistakes capitalized on by the much maligned defense, and some effective red zone possessions, something magical happened that turned the game around in 73 seconds.

And despite the greed, egos, selfishness and lately overwhelming lack of human compassion that can and does invade and at times overtake football, which is why we love to watch. Sometimes, when everything lines up just right, this game is utterly fascinating.

Among the highlights:

Brett Keisel’s amazing performing on turn back the clock night. I think everyone was hoping he’d run that ball into the end zone just to put a highlight on his night.

Lawrence Timmons showing his unbelievable toughness. He got kicked in the stomach, puked, played a down, puked again, ran off the field, sat out one play, and then was right back in the game. If I’m puking, I’m down for the count thank you very much.

16 wins. The Steelers now have an NFL record 16 straight wins on Monday Night Football, dating back to 1991. You do realize that stretch covers their last 3 head coaches, right? That’s amazing in and of itself.

The lowlight:

Steeler Nation.

WHERE WERE YOU ON MONDAY NIGHT! Good gravy, 9000 no shows? Hey, I get it; we were all demoralized after the Browns loss. It was late, a Monday night game, it was cold and rainy out. But come on!

If you have tickets, go. If you have them and don’t want to go, then give them to someone who does.

Give them to me! I always want to go, and usually can’t get tickets. Sure, I can’t fill all 9000 seats, but I could nab some peeps and at least fill a few. And we would WANT to be there.

We can’t call ourselves the best fan base around and then not show up to a HOME game.

Can we try to do better this week? Good gravy you’re giving me fits.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Did I hear that correctly? Kansas City kicker Cairo Santos learned to kick by playing Madden Football on the XBox? How has neither company locked this guy up into an advertising campaign?

Cardinals’ defensive end Darnell Dockett mocked Oakland fans during the Cardinals/Raiders tilt. That is a brave man, that crowd is filled with people who have been in prison as recent as that morning!

The Brett Favre/Packers reunion is temporarily on hold. Soon, soon we’ll all have Brett back in our lives. Hopefully he picks up a ball and goes after his old record again! Look out Peyton!

Rams quarterback Austin Davis was stopped by team security when they failed to recognize the first year starter. Maybe Davis needs to get an American Express card.

In stupid arrest news, Broncos reserve safety John Boyett was arrested for a bizarre drunken incident that included head butting a cab driver and attempting to bury himself in mulch to avoid police capture. I’ll give him points for creativity. No word if Peyton Manning was upset with Boyett’s mulch piling.

Tom Brady announced he was rooting for the Giants in the World Series by posting a picture of himself decked out in Giants gear and ready to bat. Tom is really becoming the social media maven this season. Must be getting ready for his impending media career.

And finally, Patriots cornerback Darrelle Revis was late for work this week, so Bill Belichick sent him home. I wonder if he also made Revis go to bed without supper.

Upon Further Review

Former Ravens running back Ray Rice filed a wrongful termination grievance against the Baltimore Ravens this week. Also, in Rice’s appeal hearing, the judge ordered Roger Goodell must testify in the case, despite his attempts to avoid taking the stand.

This is great news, and hopefully it will bear some fruit. There are many out here in fandom that want to love football again, but cannot truly feel the same about the sport until the NFL’s hypocrisy and lies are exposed, the prime committers of these infractions are dealt with and true rebuilding and understanding can occur. And none of those things will happen until the lead liar, Goodell, is exposed for the money groveling safety hypocrite he truly is.

The best way for that to happen is for Ray Rice to not go away quietly. And I give the man credit; he is refusing to play along nicely. Sure, he could get a cushy job with the Ravens in the future, and he has made enough money to retire to a life of leisure. But he is a man after the truth, and after at least partially clearing his name.

He knows he told the truth of what happened. He knows he did an awful thing, but then tried to do the right things. He also knows that the NFL, the Ravens and Goodell threw him under the bus to save their own asses in the eyes of the law, corporate advertising board rooms and the court of public opinion. And right now, he’s determined to prove that to everyone.

And I for one am rooting Rice on to take on, and take down, those who are covering up their part in this sham. This entire situation had become so weird it’s almost surreal. Who would have thought that Rice would at this point start looking like the good guy, the one you want to see win?

If Goodell had just dealt properly with Rice and the domestic abuse issues in the NFL, there would be no issue. But he did not. He followed status quo, which is to not take this issue seriously, show contempt for half of his fan base, and continue to allow players who commit these felonies to walk free with no consequences for their actions. And because of that, football fans are force to root for a domestic abuser to make things right. Let’s hope for once, the right outcome does occur, and true change happens.

A Thousand Words Or Less

Ok, I’ve thought about doing something like this for some time, but just haven’t pulled the trigger, so to speak. But this week, I found a picture too funny, that I just had to include it. So I introduce this new feature with this gem:

Photo courtesy of Deadspin.com

It’s like Billy Zapka stepped out of the Cobra Kai dojo and decided to dress up as Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused for Halloween. Titan fans everywhere are beaming with pride and anticipation.

He Said He Said

"No matter who that guy is at the quarterback position, it's his team. I've got to step in and take control. I've done that this week, being vocal, making sure we're in the right calls, being on the same page. Absolutely, this is my team now.” – Titans rookie quarterback Zach Mettenberger

Alright alright alright, let’s get out there boys and sweep some legs!

“At least give us a shot. But you know what? I’m not surprised with the referees this season. If you really look at some plays, we’re playing more than our opponents. We’re playing the referees too. I don’t care what anybody is saying. Something is wrong. That needs to be brought up.” – Seahawks safety Earl Thomas on the poor officiating in the Seahawks/Rams game

I’m with Thomas here. How can the NFL possibly justify the game officials not reviewing the crucial turnover that directly affected the outcome of the game, when it’s been standard NFL policy to review all turnovers and touchdowns?

“He won’t be a monster here. He won’t be a monster here. I can assure all the fans of that. That won’t take place here.” – Jets quarterback Michael Vick on newly acquired wide receiver Percy Harvin

That’s what every team says about talented, troublesome players. It’ll be different here. We can change him. He just needs a change of scenery. That sort of naïve optimism has rippled through the sports world for decades.

"Same mistakes, same mistakes, same mistakes. We've got to protect the football. We've got to protect the football. We've got to execute the game plan. We've got to adjust when things don't go as we saw on the film. We've got Alshon Jeffery, Martellus Bennett, Matt Forte. We've got a stud offensive line. We've got a great, great group of guys, and this is unacceptable. What did we put up, 14 points? Was it 14 points? That's unacceptable." – Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall in a post-game tirade to the media after a locker room tirade where he reportedly called out teammate Jay Cutler

Honestly, from what I’ve seen from Cutler, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to blow up at him.

"Leadership is definitely involved in the quarterback position. When you are the guy with the ball, you are the guy that has to do the press conferences, and you're always asked questions. It's definitely part of the gig." – Bears quarterback Jay Cutler

Part of the gig? Definitely involved? I’ve said it for years. Cutler is not an elite quarterback. He doesn’t understand being a leader is what being a quarterback is all about. It’s about getting the other 10 men out there on the field to lay it all on the line for you. He’ll never understand that.

"Financially, he is one of the elite guys in the NFL. He just hasn't produced like an elite quarterback." – former Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher on Jay Cutler

Well said. Except for the part where Cutler is getting paid like an elite player. That part is disturbing.

"He turned back time. He was the best 99 out there." – Steelers defensive end Cam Heyward on Brett Keisel

"He's the Tony Romo of the Midwest. We can talk about arm talent; we can talk about being able to throw a ball through a wall. He can put up 280, 340 yards passing, but you look across the board he's got two interceptions in a game that cost them maybe 14 points or so. That hurts a football team." – NFL analyst and former quarterback Donovan McNabb on Bears quarterback Jay Cutler

Come on Donovan, that’s pretty harsh, and really insulting to Tony Romo.

Idiot of the Week

This week, we award the crown of idiot to a surprise, dark horse candidate. Fresh off of setting a new NFL touchdown record, please welcome his first win in this arena for the season, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning!

I know what you’re thinking, how could I possibly label Manning an idiot? He’s supremely talented, funny, and personable, does great things for a wide variety of charities, self-deprecating in a cool way and makes pretty funny commercials. Because every once in a while, Manning says something that makes us remember that he’s an overly competitive, uptight, egomaniacal douche nozzle.

After Thursday’s game against the Chargers, Manning let loose with this comment.

"I have no problem with our fans. Our fans are great. I've got a problem with our scoreboard operator. I'm gonna have a little talk with him. I'm not sure what he's doing."

Manning’s issue, and he was serious, is that he didn’t like the scoreboard operator getting the crowd riled up while the Broncos were on offense; a situation that led to an offensive false start. Manning was also ticked the scoreboard showed an extended close up of opposing quarterback Phillip Rivers.

Here’s what I don’t understand. He’s mad the scoreboard showed the opposing quarterback, which got the crowd fired up and into the game? Maybe he was just mad it took face time away from himself. And really, shouldn’t he be mad at the player who committed the false start, rather than some guy who most likely makes a tenth of what Manning pockets in a month?

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Why am I nitpicking this one comment? So what, maybe Manning has a point? But this is not something new. Manning has a history of blaming others when things go bad. Let’s refer to one of my all-time favorite quotes.

"I'm trying to be a good teammate here. Let's just say we had some problems in protection.''

That beauty was uttered by Manning after his loss to the Steelers in the 2006 Divisional Playoff game. Rather than take the blame for the loss, rather than deflect criticism from others, rather than admit his own shortcomings, which include his inability to win a big game, he chose to throw his offensive line under the bus to take the blame for the loss.

So one detail of the evening failed to meet Manning’s exacting level of detail. Manning could have been pleased by his team’s performance against a division rival, improving their record to 6-1, and further strengthening bonds and solidifying performances together as they push toward the post season and a potential championship run. Instead, he preferred to sit in judgment of the work by an employee he doesn’t know, about a job he doesn’t know, and fume in seething anger because not everything was perfect in Peyton’s world.

We like to applaud Manning’s attention to detail and work ethic, but behind that is a miserable perfectionist who fumes if things aren’t perfect, and that includes the performances of those around him, and cannot stand the spotlight pointed anywhere but straight at him yet refuses to ever admit when he is the one at fault for his many post season failures. And for that, I crown him idiot.

On Tap This Week

Yes, we were on hiatus last week, but that didn’t stop us from making picks.

Last week: 10-5

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 67-40

Not bad overall, but I still haven’t had that transcendent week. Perhaps this week?

Sitting at home, dreaming of past glory:

New York Giants, San Francisco

Sunday

Detroit (5-2) at Atlanta (2-5)

At is a relative term here, as this is one of the many London games for this season. I still don’t quite trust Detroit, but I have to go with performance.

Lions over Falcons

Minnesota (2-5) at Tampa Bay (1-5)

Woof, what a stinker. At least Tampa Bay has a chance to give the home town crowd something to cheer about.

Buccaneers over Vikings

Buffalo (4-3) at New York Jets (1-6)

I learned my own lesson. Never doubt the power of the Neck Beard!

Bills over Jets

Chicago (3-4) at New England (5-2)

The only place Chicago plays well is on the road. I don’t think that will help this team approaching total meltdown.

Patriots over Bears

Seattle (3-3) at Carolina (3-3-1)

Let’s just say I have more confidence in Seattle righting the ship and correcting their issues than I do of Carolina trying to figure out how their defense has fallen apart.

Seahawks over Panthers

Miami (3-3) at Jacksonville (1-6)

I fear Jacksonville’s one game winning streak may be snapped today.

Dolphins over Jaguars

Baltimore (5-2) at Cincinnati (3-2-1)

Ugh, Baltimore is facing Cincinnati at just the right time, and all I’ll have to hear is more nonsense about how this is a good team. Just the thought of such crap makes me want to do a Lawrence Timmons impression.

Ravens over Bengals

Houston (3-4) at Tennessee (2-5)

Zach Mettenberger, congratulation on getting your own team. I’d like to introduce you to J.J. Watt.

Texans over Titans

St. Louis (2-4) at Kansas City (3-3)

You think St. Louis can pull off that kind of performance two weeks in a row? Color me doubtful.

Chiefs over Rams

Philadelphia (5-1) at Arizona (5-1)

I know Philly has had two weeks to prepare. But I still like what Bruce Arians is doing with this Cardinal team more.

Cardinals over Eagles

Indianapolis (5-2) at Pittsburgh (4-3)

I give you this from the Sporting News:

“The Colts are playing better "Steelers football" than the actual Steelers.”

Ouch. I mean, it’s true, but dang that stings. It’ll probably be proven true again this afternoon, but a boy can hope, right?

Steelers over Colts

Oakland (0-6) at Cleveland (3-3)

Apparently, Hoyer is one misstep away from being relieved by Johnny Football! I’m pretty sure Hoyer has this game in the bag, but stranger things have happened. And if Hoyer does fail today, most likely Johnny Football’s time will have come.

Browns over Raiders

Green Bay (5-2) at New Orleans (2-4)

That porous New Orleans defense is going to have its hands full. I’m sure Rob Ryan will try to fix it by big blitzing all night. How much you want to bet that doesn’t work.

Packers over Saints

Monday

Washington (2-5) at Dallas (6-1)

Right now, Dallas can do no wrong. But I’m holding off on crowning them champions until the calendar turns and they win in December.

Cowboys over Snyders