The Crystal Ball 2013 The Wildcards

Wait, what do you mean there are football games on a Saturday? Darned Wild Card Weekend! Wait, I mean it's Playoff Time!

Opening Kickoff

All season I have been unable to get a bead on San Diego. When I picked them they lost. When I picked against them they won. Leave it to them to screw me one final time when not only did they win when I picked against them, but their win cost my team a playoff spot, and me personally a weekly pool win and a solid 3rd place finish for the season. Ugh. I blame Phillip Rivers.

The Way It Was

The Ravens failed to make the playoffs, when all they had to do was win a game. Just one game. So much for the "defending champions". I told you that team was overrated, Joe Flacco got lucky for 8 games last year and that defense was for crap. Hopefully everyone else will see it next year, as Flacco's contract will hamstring Ozzie Newsome for years to come.

Not to cry over spilled milk, but perhaps if the officials had called the illegal formation penalty on San Diego during KC's failed last second field goal attempt, Pittsburgh might be in the playoffs today. Then again, they might be in the playoffs if they just managed to defeat one crappy team.

Hmmm, Aaron Rodgers looks like he was chomping at the bit to return to action. Color me enthused of his playoff readiness.

Oh ho hum, Peyton Manning broke a few more records. We all know how this will end next week.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 20 - Browns 7

Yeah they won. But they lost. Despite my vocal differences with the team this season, I am impressed and amazed that they started so horrifically and were still only one blown call in San Diego away from the playoffs.

It's probably for the best, because there is work to be done this off-season. Now, I've gone over my thoughts on changes ad infinitum so I will not rehash them here. I just hope that effective, intelligent changes are made to the roster and coaching staff as well as team methodology. It would be sad to see a team be fooled by almost making it to the playoffs and not make the difficult moves to improve over the long term.

But I am being pessimistic from such a topsy turvy season. If I really knew what I was talking about, I'd be an NFL general manager and not an idiot with a laptop and an opinion.

Regardless, 2014 should be a very interesting season. It's begun already with the firing of the offensive line coach. We'll keep tabs on the Stillers as the playoffs unfold.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Whether you agree or disagree with Chris Kluwe, you have to love a man who is so willing to speak his mind and stand up for what he believes. Kluwe has spoken out again, and called members of the Vikings on the carpet for homophobic behavior and for cutting him for speaking out in favor of gay rights. It would be nice if any team in need of a good punter would take a chance on someone who is a real role model of a professional athlete. And come on, who's really surprised to find out Kluwe was fired for supporting gay rights? Not me.

The Vikings are taking Kluwe's accusations seriously and launching an investigation. Let me see, another scandal surrounding the franchise that occurred because of a lack of institutional control and ignorant thinking? Sounds like it's the booze boat all over again.

The NFL assigned its arguably worst referee, Jeff Triplette, to the San Diego-Cincinnati collision. I guarantee whichever team loses will have a good argument that they got jobbed by the officials.

To the surprise of no one, all teams that were behind on ticket sales managed to sell out all their tickets to avoid local blackouts. Color me shocked that somehow a ticket buying public, broke from the holidays and trying to save money while avoiding the cold of January, still managed to buy expensive NFL tickets and avoid rich owners from turning off the games on TV. Shocked I tell you.

Also from the no surprise department, Bill Cowher will once again remain out of coaching and not return to the NFL for 2014. DUH. Of course not! He's got a great job, is well paid and well respected, he doesn't have to put up with the nonsense and intense pressure of being an NFL head coach. The question shouldn't be will he come back, but why should he? I think the longer he stays out of coaching, the smarter he looks for it.

The Bears inked Jay Cutler to a 7 year contract extension. Did they not see his last two games of the season?

Texans head coach Bill O'Brien is cleaning house, firing the entire coaching staff and looking to bring in his own staff. Rumor has it he's looking to hire Romeo Crennel as his defensive coordinator. See, he's already setting himself up for failure.

A Colts fan photobombs a Kansas City fan picture. You have to laugh at something like this.

Saddle Up!

Strap on your spurs kiddies, It’s time once again to pick your playoff horse. Sad your team did not make the playoffs? Lost about whom to root for over the next few weeks? Wondering who you can get behind in the big games while your team is sitting at home eating Fritos? Then you’ve come to the right place as we will help you pick your playoff horse.

Those new to The Crystal Ball are asking yourself what the deuce is a playoff horse? A playoff horse is merely your temporary team for whom to root during the playoffs if your favorite boys are sitting home in January. Playoff football is so much fun and so exciting, no one wants to be left out. Thus, the invention of the Playoff Horse!

Unsure of how to pick your playoff horse? Then rest easy, your friends here at The Crystal Ball have you covered. Here is all you need to know as you go forth into the NFL post season with a temporary rooting interest.

1. Avoid teams from your division – This has too many incestuous ramifications, and could create bad karma for your team next year. Plus, if your divisional opponent won the Super Bowl with you rooting for them, would you be able to live with yourself? Avoid division teams at all costs.
2. Avoid traditional rivalry teams – This is paramount, and can create as much bad karma as a division rival. If you are a Raiders fan, you do not root for Denver ever. You would never see a Cowboys fans rooting for Philadelphia. Plus, if you did that, wouldn’t you just feel sleazy, like you were hitting on your best friend’s girlfriend?
3. Avoid teams that beat up on your team – Sure, your team had a bad year, but why rub their noses in it by rooting for a team who tortured them?
4. Never buy any merchandise of your playoff horse – This is a very short term commitment, no need to invest any money in it. Plus, you could be labeled as a band wagon fan or even bring bad football karma to your team. You never want to split your true loyalties. And, if any of your family or friends who know nothing about football sees this merchandise, it could lead them to believe this is your favorite team and the next thing you know you find Seattle Seahawks Salt and Pepper shakers under your tree next Christmas. Always a bad thing.
5. Look for teams that did not play yours - This makes it easier to cheer for your playoff horse, since you cannot create bad karma or look like a band wagon fan. Plus, you will not be reminded of when they played your team this season, which could be a bad memory.
6. Try to find a positive connection to your favorite team – Does your playoff horse play in the same state as your team? That works. Are their former players from your team on their roster? Probably, so why not root for those guys, you liked them at one point in their careers. Do you have a friend who is a big fan of a team? Go with his or her team.
7. Look for the sleeper – This is a great one, since if you pick the right team, and they go all the way, you look like a genius. And if they lose, well, you have lost nothing. There is always one team lurking and ready to pounce; the only question is if they could go all the way. Maybe they just need some extra cheer.
8. Pick one team from each conference – Always have two, it increases your odds for making it through the playoffs. Plus, if they both happen to make it to the big game, then you look like an uber genius. On the off chance this should happen, switch all support to the team representing your conference. It’s always good for your real team to be in the more powerful, and Super Bowl laden conference. Trust me, the 80’s and 90’s were rough on us AFC folks.
9. You must pick your horses before the playoffs begin – Yes, I know, this only gives you a week to mourn your season’s end and then find someone to root for, even if it’s only half heartedly. But you cannot cheat by peeking at Wild Card weekend and seeing who might really have a shot.
10. If your horses lose before the Super Bowl, you are done – Just like if your own team were eliminated from the playoffs, so too go your temporary allegiances.  After that, you can only pick winners for each game. Well, if you have a few bucks on the game, then cheer away. But if not, then just watch as an objective party. Now, if you want to root still, my advice is to root against the teams you cannot stand. If you are any true fan, I’m sure there will be more than a few of those around, even when there are only two remaining combatants.

Remember, this is only for the short term and just for a little fun. You are just rooting for a team so you can create a little vested interest in the playoffs. After the team is done, or the playoffs end, so does your support for your playoff horse. Any cheering for them after that means you are either gleaming off of their success and that would compromise your own team, or you are a band wagon fan, and that would really hurt your team and your credibility. You never want to do anything that would compromise your true allegiances. With that in mind, go out there and find your playoff horse, have a blast and good luck!

For full transparency, I will now give you my two playoff horses for the 2013 NFL Postseason. Let's see if I know anything.

AFC: Denver Broncos - I have so few choices here. I refuse to pick New England, and Cincinnati is right out. I'm still mad at San Diego, Indianapolis screwed me last year when I picked them, and darn it, I just know Andy Reid will let me down. When you break it all down, the only choice I have is the Denver Mannings. Darn it I'll lose this one by championship weekend.

NFC: Seattle Seahawks - I picked them last year, and they weren't quite ready for prime time. But I think they have a better idea of what it will take this year, and their home all the way through. Smells like a recipe for success.

As always, I'm sure I'll be proven wrong.. I don't know squat sometimes with these things. Regardless, it's all for fun so good luck everyone!

The NFL Firing Line

Yes, it does seem like I change the name of this feature on a whim! What a wild first week of the off-season in the NFL. Black Monday started on Sunday night and surprises galore were to be had. Let's dive right in.

Cleveland: - The Browns kicked off the NFL firings by dismissing Rob Chudzinski of his services Sunday night. Chudzinski only had one season on the job, although in Cleveland that feels like 10. So much for the new Cleveland management regime building some stability.

Dallas: - To the surprise of everyone, Jerry Jones did NOT fire Jason Garrett. Congratulations Cowboy fans on another year of mediocrity!

Detroit: - The Lions epic collapse from division leaders to out of the playoffs cemented the dismissal of Jim Schwartz. While Schwartz did manage to find some success and stop the losing in Detroit, his leadership was questionable and his abilities to take the team to another level doubtful.

Houston: - The team from Texas hired Bill O'Brien away from Penn State, keeping their promise of having their next head coach in place by Tuesday of last week. I'll guarantee this right now, O'Brien will never win a championship in Texas, and I question if he'll last his entire contract. Here's hoping a good guy like J.J. Watt finds an opportunity to seek employment elsewhere.

Minnesota: - The team fired Leslie Frazier, and probably a good thing too according to the article penned by former punter Chris Kluwe regarding Frazier's leadership abilities. Frazier has already announced he will become the defensive coordinator for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

New York Jets: - Rex Ryan managed to put together enough of a late season surge to keep his job. Unfortunately for Jets fans, they still need Ryan to figure out the quarterback situation, something he has yet to do successfully.

Tampa Bay: - Tampa Bay brought a merciful end to the Greg Schiano era, which brought cheers from everyone except Penn State fans as Schiano is rumored to fill their job vacancy. Tampa Bay immediately moved to greener pastures and hired former Bears head man Lovie Smith. I'm curious to what a well rested Lovie will bring to the table.

Tennessee: - While not in the first wave of firings, Tennessee jumped into the fray by canning Mike Munchak. I bet it was because of that Jacksonville loss.

Washington: - The Snyders fired the ultimate leader, Mike Shanahan. I guess ol' Mike got his wish. But really, who was going to win in a tinkling contest between the franchise quarterback and the replaceable head coach?

He Said He Said

"O'Brien also will have to say farewell to those same Penn State players he galvanized over the past two years. You can imagine that it won't be that easy for him to leave the same kids he asked to believe in his vision of a program. In reality, O'Brien did more than enough for Penn State in those two short years. He made them relevant and gave them the hope that better days lay ahead for that program." - ESPN.com's Jeffri Chadiha

In reality, that is complete nonsense. All O'Brien did was use a program that turned to him for help in order to promote himself and his own goals, and the second he had the opportunity, he turned on everyone. shame on you Jeffri for promoting yet another coach who dishonors his own commitments. I'm sure in a few years, when O'Brien proves himself as NFL successful as Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino, maybe Texan fans will be hoping for better days once O'Brien leaves.

“We’re very excited to have Jay for the long term. He battled through the tough times and kept fighting. I see improvement in his ball security, distribution to his targets and a transformation in his demeanor as a leader."- Bears general manager Phil Emery on resigning Jay Cutler to a long term contract

So is the rest of the NFC North. Is it just me, or does Phil sound like he's trying to talk himself into something?

"From the standpoint of looking at how exciting it is for a city or a community to be involved in the playoffs and the fact that you can have a team that might have literally operated at .500 or in that area ... you can have that team win the Super Bowl. That makes a big case for adding a couple of more cities or communities that have NFL teams to the playoffs. It just creates that much more excitement and that much more interest for people in those communities. So I fall on the side of the ledger that would increase the playoffs." - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones on possible playoff expansion

Hold on, I'm reading between the lines. It says what Jones is really trying to say is that with an expanded playoffs, his average team could have made the playoffs, and more importantly Jones could have made more revenue from his ridiculously overblown stadium. That makes more sense that that strange altruistic sounding speech.

"Maybe we'll trade down and still get a quarterback that can do the job and get an outstanding defensive player. It's an exciting time. Everything's a moving target. Lot of different pieces." - Texans owner Bob McNair on potentially trading the overall number one pick in the 2014 draft

If McNair does that it will be the second dumbest thing he's done since the end of the 2013 regular season.

"Thanks to McNair family and great Texan fans and most all our players. It was wonderful being home. I wish the best to all" - former interim head coach Wade Phillips on Twitter

He may not be, in my opinion, a very good head coach. But Wade Phillips is a heck of a classy guy. I know he can do better on the open market. Here's hoping he finds a good defensive coordinator opportunity.

“We fired Chud? Are you kidding me?” Browns linebacker D’Qwell Jackson after finding out his head coach was fired

I'm sure Browns fans felt the same way.

Idiot of the Week

This week I honor with the crown of idiot the newest member of the NFL head coaching community, Houston Texans head coach Bill O'Brien.

O'Brien has joined a long list of college coaches who utilize an opportunity and a job as nothing more than a pit stop. O'Brien left Penn State, a school and community he galvanized in the wake of tragedy and scandal, to take over the Texans. Despite O'Brien's words of commitment and longevity in Happy Valley, he chose the promise of short term glory over long term immortality.

O'Brien used Penn State and it's situation to improve his own. He gave lip service to rebuilding tradition, and only worked to build his resume. He spent a year convincing 18 and 19 year olds that they could not give up on Penn State, they had to honor their commitment and stay at the university. Everyone thought it was because it benefited the kids and the school. No, it benefited O'Brien.

Now that those kids are locked in and can no longer transfer consequence free, it became convenient for O'Brien to skip town for the glamorous lights of the NFL. It disturbs me that college kids are punished for wanting to go to school elsewhere, but coaches can come and go and not honor their contracts or commitments without consequence. How can college coaches with a straight face convince an 18 year old kid the importance of keeping your word and honoring your commitments when as a coach they cannot be required to do the same? These men are charged with shaping young men and are failing miserably. When do we hold them accountable? But that is a discussion for another time.

A local article recently stated that O'Brien had become frustrated and fed up at not being able to coach the team his way and that dealing with the "Paterno faction" of Penn State fans was difficult. I find this nothing more than convenient excuses to justify his actions in jumping to the NFL.

O'Brien was flirting with the NFL before he was on the job for one calendar year. Penn State, in order to hold onto him, restructured his original contract last year, giving him more money and lowering his contract buyout amount by almost 14 million dollars. O'Brien was obviously planning to return to the NFL as soon as possible from the moment he accepted the Penn State job.

It's disingenuous and dishonest for O'Brien to claim he couldn't coach his way or was stifled by management. When he arrived at Penn State, he cleaned house of the coaching staff and went about completely revamping, redesigning and rebuilding the football program infrastructure, changing everything from how the team was managed to the weight room facilities. O'Brien was given carte blanche when he took the job, because everyone associated with the university wanted to get rid of as many reminders of the previous regime and their horrible actions as possible.

So for O'Brien to take the Texans job under the convenient pretense that he wanted more control is an outright lie. I'd have an ounce of respect for him if he'd just say, I used Penn State as a springboard for my own career and become an NFL head coach. Sure, that would still make him a weasel coach, but at minimum it would make him an honest one. But he didn't. He weaseled his way into a job, milked it for what he needed, and weaseled his way out of it under ridiculous pretenses.

Unfortunately for Penn State, they suffer the consequences. Good luck Houston Texans, but remember this. When you hire a head coach who's only in it for himself, you hire a head coach only in it for himself. As for Bill O'Brien, you grabbed at a chance to fail in the NFL when you could have stayed and not only made a major difference in the lives of thousands upon thousands, but built a true legacy and helped create leaders and world changers. And for that you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Man, what a way to finish the season.

Last week: 14-2

Season to Date: 165-91

I finished in a 10 way tie for first place, but did not manage to win the tie breaker. If Kansas City had managed to finish off San Diego, it would have been one of the best weeks ever! But I will take a strong performance and a finish in a tie for third overall as a big win. Now that's momentum for next season! As for the remainder of this season....

Saturday

Kansas City (11-5) at Indianapolis (11-5)

I maintain that Indianapolis will see a dramatically different team than the one they beat just a few weeks ago. It has to be that way, as I see an epic Super Bowl showdown between Andy Reid and his former Eagles on the horizon.

(Editor's Note: at post time, the game was winding down with KC collapsing despite a 28 point halftime lead and losing players to injury at a ridiculous pace. An exciting conclusion is inevitable.)

Chiefs over Colts

New Orleans (11-5) at Philadelphia (10-6)

We all know New Orleans has had trouble all season with road games. And today will be no exception. The Linc will be a mad house, and I'm sure there will be more than a few arrests and convictions in the jail and court located in the stadium. Hold on tight kids. Sean Payton's mission to stick it to Goodell ends tonight.

Eagles over Saints

Sunday

San Diego (9-7) at Cincinnati (11-5)

Here's my message to the cheating Chargers, courtesy of Ron Burgundy. Go Bungles. Ugh.

Bungles over Chargers

San Francisco (12-4) at Green Bay (8-7-1)

This could be the coldest game in NFL history. It really will be the Frozen Tundra, and immensely good theater. Somewhere, Tom Coughlin's cheeks are becoming red just from the memories.

49ers over Packers