The Crystal Ball 2013 The Championships

As soon as last week's Broncos game came to a conclusion, I steeled myself for it. 7 days of "BRADY VS. MANNING!" The media deluge of a fabricated rivalry that followed made me long for the days of Brett Favre retirement coverage.

Opening Kickoff

Apparently, 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh gets his khaki pants at Wal-Mart. Ignoring the fact that those are not NFL approved apparel, I was confused as to geographically where Harbaugh makes his purchases. I didn't think they allowed something so pedestrian and common as a Wal-Mart in San Francisco.

The Way It Was

I know I've mentioned it previously, but my truly favorite part of the playoffs is watching a game and, usually in the second half, knowing one team only has minutes remaining in their season. If the game is a blowout, well it's not that big of a deal. Obviously the losing team has improvements to make and they're not quite ready for prime time. But in a tight, one score difference game, that last quarter is magnified and becomes epic to me. This mostly applies to the Wild Card and Divisional rounds, where there's still a few weeks of football to be played. Championship weekend doesn't mean as much, as there's only one remaining game. And the Super Bowl means nothing, both competing teams conclude their season at game's end. But the first two weeks of the playoffs, you can feel how poignant those waning minutes become.

I was only able to watch Saturday's contests, so let's get just focus on those games. Heck do we even need to analyze the horrific officiating in Carolina, or Manning surgically dissecting the Chargers again? Nah, been there, done that.

Seahawks 23 - Saints 15

And that kids is why Shayne Graham has been everywhere man. And I'll bet he'll be somewhere else next season too.

What bad clock management by the Saints burning two timeouts in the second half because they were unaware of the play clock counting down. I know the noise was deafening, but they have functioning eyes, right? That's Andy Reid level incompetence.

Marshawn Lynch is definitely a beast, and showed as much on his potential game sealing touchdown run. But I'm just not that big a fan of Skittles. I prefer peanut butter cups. But I guess throwing those would get messy fast.

The key part of Lynch's run was Saints cornerback Keenan Lewis. Lewis collapsed in to stop the run he thought would go up the middle. Unfortunately, by pinching down Lewis gave up outside containment. When Lynch bounced to the outside, Lewis was out of position, and one juke from Lynch later, Seattle had a touchdown and what turned out to be an insurmountable lead.

If Seattle wishes to progress further in the playoffs, Russell Wilson must play better football.

Did anyone else think Percy Harvin was concussed on the FIRST hit to the head he took? Yeah, me too. So much for safety. More on that next week.

Doug Baldwin lost his helmet on a huge catch and it was immediately followed by a stupid challenge from Sean Payton. You can argue at that point he had no choice but I disagree. He should have saved the challenge and timeout. With how the endgame played out, that timeout may have saved Colston from making his poor decision to lateral the ball and allowed New Orleans an opportunity for one last crack at the end zone.

And speaking of Colston, he should have just stepped out of bounds and New Orleans still would have had one more play, and a decent shot to score. Again, if the Saints had that wasted timeout, then Payton could have used it there and Colton wouldn't have to be a goat. I appreciate Payton falling on the sword and claiming he instructed the team to perform the lateral, but I don't believe that.

I wonder how the Saints play calling would have changed if they had made those two missed field goals. Then again, I wonder how the game would have unfurled if Pete Carroll had challenged the obvious missed fumble earlier in the game.

Patriots 43 - Colts 22

What a rushing clinic by the New England offense. If I were Denver, I'd be terrified by that balanced attack. No Von Miller is going to hurt extra this week.

The Patriot no name defense played inspired and with focus. I love their moxie and ability to go for the ball.

At one point in the 3rd quarter Andrew Luck looked straight up confused. I tried to clear it up and let him know he should just accept he's losing in New England for the second year in a row. Peyton got used to it, so should he.

New England's punter should have kicked the ball out of the end zone for a safety. That was the inevitable result, but if he just kicked it, he may have avoided getting injured.

I also loved Belichick going for a 2 point conversion because he has no holder for extra points. Although once the game looked out of reach, Belichick changed that stance and found a holder. And I'll give Brady this. He's not too big a star to hold for an extra point.

Does anyone else find it odd that Vinatieri has been a Colt longer than he was a Patriot? It seems strange, no?

You knew after a certain point the Colts were going to lose. But it's hard to count out Andrew Luck. There's just something about him. He really has a positive, infectious spirit and a never say die attitude. He's like a Tim Tebow with a good throwing motion and accuracy.

Although perhaps the accuracy is not quite there yet. Luck had 6 interceptions in 2 playoff games and the Colts had 7 turnovers overall compared to 14 turnovers in regular season. Scrap the Tebow comparison, it's like Peyton Manning and his disparity between the regular season and post season performance never left!

Woof, LaGarrette Blount out beasted Marshawn Lynch with 4 touchdowns. He scored 4 touchdowns in one game. He's Al Bundy!

Tom Brady threw zero touchdown passes and the Patriots still scored 43 points. Again, Denver should be terrified.

Honestly, near the end I felt bad for Chuck Pagano. He had the look of a man watching the world around him falling apart, with no way to stop it. It was a pure look of helplessness and it was sad and pathetic. Maybe next time Chuck.

The Steel Pit

With so many off season questions bounding around, including re-signing Roethlisberger to a new long term contract which seems to be a talking point of Art Rooney II, what is the big story in Steeler Nation?

The big story is that head coach Mike Tomlin used the word "obviously" 322 times during his weekly press conferences throughout the season. That's the big story. It's not a joke. It was on the front page of the local newspaper. Seriously. Yikes.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Colin Kaepernick mocked Cam Newton's Superman move during the 49ers/Panthers tilt. Obviously, Colin is unaware at how karma works.

Professional awesome cool cat, and NBA broadcaster, Charles Barkley hung out in the Patriots locker room after the game. He also blasted Patriot fans for being unappreciative of their team. Thanks Charles, I've said that about New England fans for years, it's nice to have the backup.

Is it true? Is Rob Ryan being frozen out of head coaching jobs because of his long hair? If you ask me I'd say his twin brother's job performance most likely has more of an impact

Apparently, suspected murderer Aaron Hernandez is not allowed to watch Patriots games while he's behind bars. If I were in charge, I'd make him watch them, surrounded by other prisoners harassing him for being such a massive fool to throw away a life in the NFL just to be a "gangsta".

Speaking of Hernandez, it appears he may have been the shooter in a 2012 double murder. What a waste of human space.

Uh oh, Goodell's having a bad day. It looks like his concussion settlement is falling apart. Is anyone else surprised an organization that pulls in over $10 Billion a year and still manages to claim tax exempt status would have iffy numbers when it comes to trying to pay off former players? The truly sad part is the longer this drags on and the more nonsense that occurs, the only people making money will be the lawyers for each side, the more the NFL will look like asses yet still manage to weasel out of paying anything substantial and the more players will suffer and pass away. It's just shameful how we human beings treat each other, although this is merely a very specific microcosm of that behavior.

You know it was coming, the season's first Mock Draft. It would seem someone thawed out Mel Kiper Jr. Kiper showing his perfectly coiffed hair is a sign of Spring coming, right?

Davone Bess had a bad week too. First he got busted for Tweeting a picture of himself with a prominent bag of weed visible. Then he got arrested at an airport for assaulting an officer. With antics like these, he'll probably soon find himself unemployed. So getting out of Cleveland would be an improvement on his week.

Upon Further Review

Amongst the assault of Manning vs. Brady stories was this particular gem, that dared to suppose how history would have unfolded if things were different. What would have become of the previous decade if New England had drafted Manning and the Colts had drafted Brady.

I'll stop this supposition before it starts. The problem with these hypothetical thought processes is they suppose everything else that happened would remain the same. And by definition, that means that Manning would be coached by Bill Belichick and Tom Brady would be tabbed a starter, despite the fact he landed that job by accident and injury, and would be coached by Tony Dungy. The theory supposes that every other player that played for each team during the time period still did. Almost like some sort of odd version of Freaky Friday, yet no one switches bodies and we all know they switch teams. Unfortunately, this sort of theoretical revisionist history never works.

If the Patriots had drafted Peyton Manning in 1998, there would be no magic dynasty with Bill Belichick. At that time, Pete Carroll was still the head coach in New England. Manning's ability, and the promise of better play to come, would have kept Carroll from being fired for at least few years. With Manning propping up Carroll's pro football career, who knows if either would have developed to become the player and coach they are today.

With Carroll leaning on Manning, would he have ever been able to achieve the growth in his coaching career that he learned from being fired and then learned on the job at USC? Who knows, perhaps he would have been stunted as a coach and dragged both himself and Manning down into mediocrity and Manning would never have ascended to be a major factor in the argument of greatest quarterback of all time. In that same vein, Carroll not taking the USC job also affects the fortunes of that university as well as the careers of Matt Leinart, Carson Palmer, Mark Sanchez, Matt Cassel, Reggie Bush and many other USC alums that became NFL players. In fact, it affects whether some or all of those gentlemen even attend USC, which then in turn affects other universities and football career. And that in turn affects the fortunes of the Cardinals, Bengals, Jets, Saints, Dolphins, Texans, Lions, Chiefs, and many more.

As for Manning, we've established that he would not have worked with Bill Belichick's defense, so that theory is right out the window. Never mind that for the most part, his Colts defenses in the last 15 years stacked up almost identically to New England's defensive units, but that's an argument for another day.

So would Manning have become the field general he is today without the tutelage of Tony Dungy and Tom Moore? Professional sports is littered with stories of talent and potential unfulfilled for one reason or another. Could Manning not working with two of the most influential professional coaches in his career be one of those stories? As we saw with Charlie Weis after he left New England, his offensive prowess left much to be desired. Imagine how his unimaginative schemes and play calling could have stunted Manning. That is if Weis was even in New England during Manning's imagined career there.

If Carroll doesn't get fired, then Belichick doesn't have the opportunity to take the seat once held by his mentor Bill Parcells. If he doesn't nab this job, who knows where he might have ended up. There's a possibility Belichick, if he even gets another crack at a head coaching position, may have ended up somewhere that didn't have the pieces he needed to show his ability, like he was forced to endure during his tenure in Cleveland. Maybe he never gets another opportunity to become a head coach, and he becomes a vagabond defensive coordinator, perhaps one as respected in that role as Dick LeBeau. While that's a great career, it's a far cry from being talked about in the same breath as Chuck Noll and Bill Walsh.

And let's not forget Tom Brady. Remember, Brady was a 6th round draft pick, a college backup that was thrust into a starting role due to injury, found his stride, grabbed an opportunity with both hands and has not let go in over 13 years. His collegiate career dictates that even if the Colts took him in the draft, it most likely wouldn't be before Round 6. So he's a 6th rounder on the Colts in 2000. Where does that leave him on the depth chart? Remember, if the Colts are not preparing draft Peyton Manning in 1998, then perhaps they don't trade Jim Harbaugh, yes that Jim Harbaugh, to Baltimore. Perhaps they hang onto him hoping for a better 1998 season and beyond. If Harbaugh's career plays out for the length it does in our world, then Brady becomes a backup to an aging and soon to retire Harbaugh.

Who knows if he gets the same kind of instruction and support from Harbaugh that he did from Drew Bledsoe in New England. And who knows if Jim Mora's Colts are able to bring out the best of a talented but raw Tom Brady like Bill Belichick was. Perhaps instead Brady becomes a Jon Kitna, Steve DeBerg or Charlie Batch, talented quarterbacks who never truly found the right situation and right head coach and never reached their full potential.

And those are merely the initial issues with this hypothetical exercise. If these changes took place, who knows if any of the other hundreds of players that have put on a jersey for both teams would have ever been there, and how these individual personnel changes would impact the NFL as a whole, as well as NCAA football, which in turn also affects the NFL yet again. It's a fun exercise to think of what Bill Belichick could do with Peyton Manning in his prime, or how Tom Brady would look in Colts blue. But if you want to play theoretical games, make it more realistic, like what if the team's traded quarterbacks. When you propose it from a draft standpoint, you ignore too many variables to make the exercise realistic, fun or even viable.

NFL Firing Line

Cleveland: - Team owner Jimmy Haslam wrote a letter to fans of the team urging patience in the team's protracted search for a new head coach. One question, what has this team ever done to show anyone they know how to choose the right coach?

Detroit: - Looks like Whisenhunt lost the job, just not in a way we expected. Instead, the team tabbed Jim Caldwell, late of Baltimore, as their new head coach. Considering Schwartz had been creating a team of underachieving, unlikable pseudo bad boys, this could be a very interesting departure for the Lions. Maybe this time around, Caldwell will learn to blink on the sidelines.

Miami: - The sea mammals hired Bill Lazor as their new offensive coordinator. Not that people were dying to know, but I mention it because Lazor is a cool name. That is all.

Minnesota: - Bungles defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer has indeed become the new head coach of the Minnesota Vikings. Seriously, a second Bungles assistant as a new head coach? Did these teams see Cincinnati in the playoffs?

Tennessee: - Taking their time my fanny. The team announced, in a surprise to some, that they hired Ken Whisenhunt as their new head coach. I'm not sure what that says about the Detroit job, but it's not good.

He Said He Said

"Ben, we have to have him retire as a Steeler. There’s not a doubt about that." - Steelers President Art Rooney II

Well, Art, I'd say the ball is squarely in your court as to whether that happens or not. Your move, sir.

"Loud Noises" - sign held up at the notoriously loud Quest Field

Somewhere Brick Tamland is smiling. while he pours ketchup into a hair dryer

“What’s weighing on my mind is how soon I can get a Bud Light in my mouth. That’s priority number one.” - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning when asked about his upcoming off season neck exam

I didn't realize Peyton had an endorsement deal with Bud Light.

“This is my 13th year. You don’t know how many chances you have left. The opportunities are getting fewer and fewer.” - Saints quarterback Drew Brees

All NFL rookies and future rookies. Listen to this man, that's the gospel truth for your profession. And that's coming from one lucky enough to play longer than 4 years.

"Peyton Manning won a playoff game for the first time in four years." - Tuesday Morning Quarterback's Gregg Easterbrook

I know one of those seasons was lost to injury, but that still is jaw dropping to read, especially with all the hyperbole we hear regarding Manning's status as a great quarterback. A great quarterback wins more than one playoff game in 4 years.

"Well, it's within the rules. It's within the spirit of the rules of the National Football League. I actually respect it, what you're trying to do for your team, put them in the best possible position to win that you can. And I respect that their organization does that for their team. They do that in a lot of ways, with their team, with their fans, with their organization. So, what do I think of it? I respect it." - 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh on Seattle's California ticket ban

Good answer. I bet he feels differently later today.

“We understood from the beginning that if we wanted to speak to all of the coaches on our list that we may need to wait until they have completed their participation in the playoffs. We are prepared to wait as long as necessary because this is a very important decision. Everyone in our organization is committed to finding the right leader for our team.” - Browns owner Jimmy Haslam on the team's head coach search

I'd love to see their interview list. You think they'd wait until training camp for the right coach?

Idiot of the Week

With the Pro Bowl a week away, I was pretty sure the award of idiot would go to Roger Goodell, for coming up with such a ridiculous construct as picking sides, and Deion Sanders, who as a team captain will not only pick a squad of Pro Bowlers but is also claiming he'll suit up and play as well. At least with Sanders playing we'll have one person playing at full speed. The whole concept is such a dumb idea, I mean why would I want to watch a team filled with Sanders' favorites? Cripes, I didn't think it possible but Goodell found a way for me to dislike the Pro Bowl more.

Then the Peyton Manning Omaha nonsense occurred. Peyton saying Omaha during his pre-snap cadence has pretty much become a meme in and of itself. But things got out of hand and now a charity is involved, and that brings us to our idiots. I award the 5 companies donating money to Manning's Peyback Foundation as this week's idiots.

I know what you're thinking, how could I name 5 companies doing something for charity as idiots? Allow me to elaborate. The 5 companies, ConAgra Foods, First National Bank of Omaha, Mutual of Omaha, Omaha Steaks and Union Pacific Railroad, are all based in Omaha. So in order to jump upon Manning's inadvertent publicity for the city, the combined companies have pledged to donate $500 to Manning's charity for each time Peyton says Omaha during the AFC Championship game. Sounds nice right? Wrong.

While I would hate to discourage charity work, let's do the quick math. If Peyton says Omaha 40 times, that comes out to $20,000 for his charity, and breaks down to a $4,000 out of pocket charity donation for each company. In contrast, let's look at each company's yearly Sales and Revenue...

ConAgra                                                        $15.5 Billion

First National Bank of Omaha                   $844 Million

Mutual of Omaha                                         $5.9 Million

Omaha Steaks                                              $450 Million

Union Pacific Railroad                               $964 Million

(All numbers approximate based on current available financial statements)

Seriously? These companies pull in this much money, per year, and they're only throwing in for 1/5th of $500 dollars per mention of Omaha? I bet their weekly toilet paper budget is more than $4,000. This isn't a charitable donation, this is an incredibly cheap, tax deductible advertising opportunity.

These companies don't give two craps about doing something for charity. If they did, they'd offer to put up a share of $50,000 or $100,000 for every time Manning says Omaha, some significant amount that could really make a difference. Instead they found a very cheap, and effective, way to advertise during a highly watched and profitable NFL broadcast without having to purchase advertising time. By attaching their company's names to the name Omaha, their obvious hope is that every time Manning says Omaha, people will think of these companies and their "generous" offer. They found a way to circumvent the high advertising costs of NFL Playoff games and at the same time make themselves look generous and magnanimous.

Well I for one am not buying it, believing it or rooting for it. Personally, I hope Manning eradicates Omaha from his cadence this week. As for these five companies, if I can find a way to avoid ever giving these companies my business, I will. In the meantime, for exploiting a charity and a charitable act by giving less than the bare minimum of money to cash in on unwarranted attention and grab cheap advertising.......

ConAgra

First National Bank of Omaha

Mutual of Omaha

Omaha Steaks

Union Pacific Railroad

....you are all despicable idiots.

On Tap This Week

Before we even get into it, I'll just blow everything open right now with a major spoiler. Washington and Colorado are the only two states in the nation to legalize marijuana. The Seahawks and Broncos both hail from those states, respectively. I am rooting for the Toke-A-Bowl. Yeah, It had to go there.

Last week: 3-1

Season to Date: 169-95

The only problem with the Toke-A-Bowl? It would pit the two consensus preseason favorites to make the Super Bowl against each other......IN the Super Bowl! It would guarantee for the first time the Super Bust would fail. Yet if the Super Bust comes through, that would mean New England and San Francisco would make the Super Bowl, and my worst nightmare would come true, even worse than last year's Harbaugh-Bowl. This is going to be a very interesting Sunday.

Sunday

New England (13-4) at Denver (14-3)

This game has just about everything thrown in. Manning vs. Brady XV, the Patriots cast in the underdog role, one that Tom Terrific is relishing, despite the fact that he's been ill and missing practice, Manning playing with the specter of his career potentially ending depending upon the diagnosis of his neck in the off season, and Broncos safety trash talking Julian Edelman and setting himself up to get torched all afternoon by Tom Brady. All of this is merely background for the match up whose victor gets a one way ticket to New Jersey and the Super Bowl. Here's hoping the game itself lives up to half of the hype. If it does, it'll be an instant classic.

Broncos over Patriots

San Francisco (14-4) at Seattle (14-3)

The building rivalry between these two teams is fascinating, especially with their style of play not inaccurately compared to Steelers/Ravens. They do not like each other, and it shows on the field. Seattle upped the ante by banning ticket sales to people in California, but we'll see if they back that up with their play. If they truly match Steelers/Ravens animosity and rivalry levels, I guarantee this game will be as epic as the 2009 AFC Championship game, and as entertaining. Here's hoping

Seahawks over 49ers