The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 16

Welcome one and all to the Christmas edition of the Crystal Ball! We send you out the best wishes to one and all this magical and wonderful time of the year. No matter your beliefs or traditions, all can celebrate happy occasions with the company of friends and family. With all the planning and events upcoming, we will keep this week short so you can go and spend more time with loved ones. That, and certain weekly notes may or may have been lost. But no need to point fingers of stupidity.

But fear not, as we do have a treat for you today and our usual picks to enjoy before the holidays. And next week we'll have a big end of season blowout! In the meantime, enjoy and Merry Christmas one and all!

All I Want For Christmas Is....

While out doing some shopping recently, I stumbled on a lost notebook. But this wasn't any such notebook, it was part of Santa's shopping list. It would seem he dropped his list for all 32 NFL teams. So what's everyone asking for this year?

Buffalo Bills - less appearances by Rob Ford at Bills games. It does not help the already poor reputation of the franchise.

Miami Dolphins - that Ryan Tannehill may end the franchise's long nightmare at quarterback.

New England Patriots - Wes Welker

New York Jets - one way tickets out of town for Mark Sanchez and Rex Ryan.

Baltimore Ravens - A clone of a 27 year old Ray Lewis and a redo on Joe Flacco's cap crippling contract.

Cincinnati Bengals - the first playoff win in a generation.

Cleveland Browns - that the 21st starting quarterback since 1999 will be the last one needed for at least 5 years.

Pittsburgh Steelers - A set of retractable belt barriers to install on the sidelines of Heinz Field.

Denver Broncos - The team's next meaningful game will be in January, with a potential of a 6 week period between big games. In the past, Peyton Manning has performed poorly in such situations. As a consequence, every letter to Santa from the Denver area asked for the same thing. For Peyton Manning to revert to 2006 playoff mode and be the exception to his normal playoff mode.

Kansas City Chiefs - To never wake up from this fantastic dream season.

Oakland Raiders - that much like Pittsburgh's baseball franchise, their swashbuckler themed team will also once again taste a winning season after years of losing.

San Diego Chargers - a prescription of Prozac for Phillip Rivers.

Houston Texans - Just one win. It's been so long, everyone has forgotten what it's like.

Indianapolis Colts - A bit of consistency would be nice. And maybe Trent Richardson to do anything positive.

Jacksonville Jaguars - For their fans to stop begging for Tim Tebow.

Tennessee Titans - No more embarrassing Jacksonville losses.

Dallas Cowboys - For owner Jerry Jones to fire general manager Jerry Jones.

New York Giants - a cure for Eli Manning's Interception-itis.

Philadelphia Eagles - more sweet, dominating snow games!

Washington Snyders - next year's first round draft pick back.

Chicago Bears - That Jay Cutler gets hurt again before he submarines the season.

Detroit Lions - the ability to win when it counts the most.

Green Bay Packers - a healthy Aaron Rodgers. And maybe a run defense if it's not too much to ask.

Minnesota Vikings - Just one competent, team leader of a quarterback before Adrian Peterson walks with no return of investment.

Arizona Cardinals - a guarantee Carson Palmer won't blow out his knee in their first playoff game.

St. Louis Rams - For Daniel Snyder to call again wanting to trade up in the draft.

San Francisco 49ers - A Super Bowl victory, so they may get something out of the Jim Harbaugh era after he bolts for Texas.

Seattle Seahawks - For no additional defensive backs to face suspension.

Atlanta Falcons - An opportunity to replay the 2012 NFC Championship game with a different result.

Carolina Panthers - For Ron Rivera to keep taking chances through February 2nd.

New Orleans Saints - That Rob Ryan takes an unprompted trip to McDonalds before the defense gets exposed in the playoffs.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - a shipment of MRSA destroying antibiotics.

And finally....

Roger Goodell - For the concussion topic to go away, an 18 game season and an unseasonably warm and sunny February 2nd.

On Tap This Week

I had a decent week in Week 15, despite losing a few close games.

Last week: 9-6

Season to Date: 139-85

I'm hanging in there, but time is nigh. Much like every playoff bubble team this week, it's time to put up or shut up.

Sunday

Miami (8-6) at Buffalo (5-9)

Call it an atmospheric feeling.

Bills over Dolphins

Indianapolis (9-5) at Kansas City (11-3)

The AFC top seed is still to be had. And Kansas City's offense is coming on strong.

Chiefs over Colts

Minnesota (4-9-1) at Cincinnati (9-5)

The Bungles have been making me look bad, mostly. Might as well get a win out of it.

Bengals over Vikings

Denver (11-3) at Houston (2-12)

Even if Peyton Manning cedes the game to his backup, I have no faith in what's left of Houston's lost season.

Broncos over Texans

New Orleans (10-4) at Carolina (10-4)

This is for the division. And while New Orleans has the experience, they also have a below average defense that gets worse on the road. And Carolina is hungry and riding high.

Panthers over Saints

Tennessee (5-9) at Jacksonville (4-10)

Tennessee will finally get that win and avoid embarrassment again.

Titans over Jaguars

Dallas (7-7) at Washington (3-11)

What an embarrassing loss last week Dallas suffered on their own home field. If it makes them feel better, there will be hardly anyone at this game to witness what transpires. Without that kind of pressure, they should be fine.

Cowboys over Snyders

Cleveland (4-10) at New York Jets (6-8)

Yeah, Cleveland is on the road and has a worse record. But something tells me they'll play hard until season's end. I don't get the same impression from New York.

Browns over Jets

Tampa Bay (4-10) at St. Louis (6-8)

I'm going with the team that beats New Orleans. There's only one of those in this game.

Rams over Buccaneers

New York Giants (5-9) at Detroit (7-7)

If Detroit blows this gift, then Jim Schwartz should be fired before Monday.

Lions over Giants

Arizona (9-5) at Seattle (12-2)

It's odd to think Arizona could end up with a 10 win season and miss the playoffs. Bizarre world.

Seahawks over Cardinals

Pittsburgh (6-8) at Green Bay (7-6-1)

Matt Flynn did an unbelievable job last week. Maybe an even more memorable performance than his 6 touchdown season ender a few years ago. I'm sure he's brimming with confidence. But you know who I'm picking.

Steelers over Packers

Oakland (4-10) at San Diego (7-7)

It matters not who I pick, when San Diego is involved, I'm sure the opposite of my pick will win.

Chargers over Raiders

New England (10-4) at Baltimore (8-6)

New England is reeling a bit after dropping a heartbreaker to Miami. Baltimore is dealing with a gimpy Joe Flacco. Tom Terrific will expose this overrated defense.

Patriots over Ravens

Chicago (8-6) at Philadelphia (8-6)

Jay Cutler played like the turd he is last week and almost blew a game to Cleveland, multiple times. Yes, the Eagles defense can be questionable at times, but not this week.

Eagles over Bears

Monday

Atlanta (4-10) at San Francisco (10-4)

I think I'll just watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or Elf instead. Maybe take in a preview viewing of A Christmas Story for good measure.

49ers over Falcons