The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 17

In 2013, so far, Peyton Manning has recaptured the single season touchdown crown, is within easy striking distance of the single season passing yardage record, had an awesomely hilarious commercial with his brother and been named the Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year. This year, it most certainly does not suck to be Peyton Manning.

Opening Kickoff

Records falling, seeding up for grabs, divisions to be decided, Week 17 will be, apparently, the greatest football Sunday of all time! Or it could just be a sweet day of football. Either way.

The Way It Was

Yes, the Cowboys did win the game, but not for lack of trying to lose. Dallas had a 1st and goal from the Washington 4 yard line with a chance to win the game, and I said out loud, I wonder how Romo and Garrett can screw this up. Honestly, even I was impressed with the level of idiocy when they ended up at 4th and 10. And I was more shocked than most when they managed to convert 4th and 10 for a touchdown.

Yes, the feting of Candlestick Park was a wonderful time. But seriously 49ers, you couldn't pick up the phone and call Joe Montana to come down and say goodbye? Has anyone short of Bill Walsh done more in that stadium or for that team? Of course the self promotion kings Steve Young and Terrell Owens were on hand, but not arguably the greatest player in team history. You stay classy 49ers.

Speaking of 49er class, I was glad to see Colin Kaepernick had the presence of mind to take off his gigantic headphones before his post game press conference. Oh wait, no he didn't.

So as it turns out, Tony Romo finished the game playing with a herniated disk in his back. Is it just me or does Romo have a story like this at least once a season? The manly legend of Tony Romo continues, as does the Cowboy playoff drought.

I wonder if Romo's injury gives Jason Garrett a pass from getting fired.

With no animosity, I was sad to see Clay Matthews' season end with a crappy injury. It looked rather innocuous when he sacked Roethlisberger, but sometimes those are the ones that get you the most. Let's hope he heals fully in case he runs into any burglar cats. Hee hee, I love that commercial.

I was also sorry to hear about Von Miller's season ending injury. But on the plus side, it gives Denver and their faithful something else to blame other than Peyton Manning when they lose in the divisional round. so there's that. Bazinga.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 38 - Packers 31

Obviously, I am of two minds regarding this game. One mind says the win and keeping playoff hope alive is bad, it stunts needed changes in personnel and staff and hinders rebuilding and restocking by lowering the team's future draft position.

But damn that was a fun and entertaining game. A few years ago when I did the

math, I really wanted to go to Green Bay for this game, to not only see my Steelers in person but to also soak in the history, tradition and lore that is Green Bay football. After witnessing this game, damn I should have made this happen. What fun, especially in the snow!

But you cannot bring up this game without pointing out how horrifically terrible the officiating was throughout the day. Green Bay specifically was upset with the officiating at the end of the game, that cost them potentially a play in the red zone that could have tied the game in the final seconds. While I think they have a point, I'd like to point out that the Green Bay sideline was awfully mum when it came to the horribly botched officiating job that occurred during the botched Packer field goal sequence when the Steelers claimed possession, but were refused possession, refused a review of the play, and penalized thus giving Green Bay a fresh set of downs, and ultimately a touchdown. Yeah, pretty quiet about that travesty of justice. But yeah, the 3 second delay was the real issue from the zebras there Mike McCarthy.

While the officiating, and Green Bay's whining, bugged me, what ultimately got my ire in a lather was Pittsburgh's play calling during it's final offensive possession.

I maintain that the horrible play calling and clock management should have resulted in Mike Tomlin and Todd Haley's firing immediately after the game. Pittsburgh had a 2nd and 1 from the Green Bay 1 yard line with 1:30 left on the clock and the Packers holding no time outs while Pittsburgh held 1. The logical solution at this point would have been to kneel on the ball twice, milk the clock down to 5 seconds remaining, kick the field goal and at worst leave 2 seconds left on the clock for the field goal.

Instead, Tomlin and Haley ran a normal play, and to the surprise of no one except maybe those two, Green Bay allowed Pittsburgh to score a touchdown to preserve time.

Logic dictated that Pittsburgh was going to score, either with a touchdown or a field goal. Green Bay's only hope was to allow the score and get the ball back. History shows this team is willing to take that chance. Look back to Super Bowl XXXII. Mike Holmgren did the exact same thing, and it almost worked for the world championship. That Mike McCarthy would follow a similar script should be surprising to no one.

McCarthy knew Pittsburgh's defense and special teams are mediocre. He decided to take his chances with those units rather than trying to stop Pittsburgh's offense. Tomlin and Haley should have realized this and planned accordingly. They did not. What happened next should have been predictable. Green Bay ran the ensuing kickoff back to Pittsburgh's 30 yard line, and then were knocking on the door of scoring from Pittsburgh's 1 yard line before anyone realized what was happening. And if it weren't for another Green Bay mistake, this time a false start penalty, this game may have ended in a very different way.

The game was fun and exciting, and the outcome enjoyable. But if not for dumb luck, things should have been very different.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

A Seattle car dealership promised 12 people $35,000 if the Seahawks managed to shut out the New York Giants. Oops.

Apparently, the St. Louis Rams are still irked by the method Rob Ryan quit the team. Ryan, who was with the Rams barely long enough to form an ass groove in his office chair, walked in one morning, quit, then left the team facility and celebrated by hitting up the McDonald's across the street from the team facilities. Even Morgan Spurlock was unsurprised by this.

A study proves what I've been saying for years; Oakland has the most unstable fans in the NFL. Ignore the fan base in second place.

I give Peyton Manning a bit of grief regarding his Super Bowl and playoff record, but in all honesty I totally dig the guy. And this is reason #478, Peyton Manning respectfully declines a wedding invitation.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has gone on record stating he'll clean house if Dallas misses the playoffs. Here's hoping he starts with firing the general manager.

Rex Ryan is attempting to inspire his team by informing them he expects to be fired at the conclusion of the season. Hey Rex, just so you know, the rest of us expect you to be fired as well.

Lions fans, fully fed up by the team's inexplicable collapse, booed their team lustily when Detroit chose to play for overtime rather than play for a potential win in regulation. Lions head coach Jim "I'm two seconds and an eyelash away from being fired" Schwartz was unhappy by the fan reaction, and responded as any adult working a professional position in the public eye would, by flipping off and cursing at said fans. It'll be fun seeing what team hires Schwartz as it's defensive coordinator for 2014.

Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett shoved a team employee while running off the field after Dallas' last second win against Washington. Jeez Jason, way to be a gigantic douchebag. What the heck, was they guy trying to hand you a pink slip or something?

And finally, injured Bengals punter Kevin Huber made light of his injury by tweeting a photo of his current dilemma, specifically what kind of crazy straw to rock with his broken jaw. At least he's got a wicked good sense of humor.

Upon Further Review

Was it just me, or did this week feel like a poorly coached, completely sucky week? Perhaps it's just me, but lately it seems that every supposedly superior team has failed miserably, and every team that holds its future in its hands continues to screw it up by going against it's own best interest.

To emphasize my point, consider:

.....despite his team's recent winning ways, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler returned from injury, and instead of letting his backup continue to shine, grabbed his job back and proceeded to stink worse than a burning diaper in a dumpster. Chicago could have claimed the NFC North. Instead, it claimed the title of biggest dump taken during game time.

.....The "defending world champion" Ravens continue to live on reputation, with the entire CBS crew predicting the team to win in their home game showdown against New England based upon the myth of the Baltimore defense and the elite status of Joe Flacco. Yet in the reality that everyone ignores, Baltimore's defense reveals itself, again, to be the sieve it is and Flacco again illustrates his late season and post season performance from last year were more fluke than realizing potential and the team loses at home 41-7. Steeler fans everywhere rejoice and scream "I TOLD YOU SO!"

.....Lions head coach Jim Schwartz responds to the disgruntled Bronx cheers of his fan base by cursing out and flipping off the fans in attendance at Ford Field.

.....Miami, who had a chance to claim a playoff spot thanks to season defining wins against Pittsburgh and New England, completely crapped the bed by getting shut out by the Bills in Buffalo.

These are just a few examples from last week. For over a month now, teams that should be asserting themselves have collapsed in the moment of truth. On the flip side, teams that should be preparing for the future have screwed themselves and their draft position by winning meaningless, and ridiculous, games.

As fans, we complain often about teams and coaches that show little to no intelligence when it comes to clock management. Cannot we finally do the same regarding teams and their coaches that cannot operate within the bounds of basic common sense?

The Coaching Carousel

One of our favorite features has returned once again to brighten our doorstep! With the season ending today, and most assuredly the firings to commence tomorrow, the revolving door that is head coach employment in the NFL will begin spinning wildly. Although there is only one team actively looking for a head coach, we'll utilize them to kick off this year's installment of this segment.

Houston: - The Texans have been sans head coach since the dismissal of Gary Kubiak. Wade Phillips has filled in on an interim basis, but to no success. The team has announced it plans to hire their new head coach by Tuesday. Names linked to the job include Chargers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt, former Bears head coach Lovie Smith, interim head coach Wade Phillips and Penn State head coach Bill O'Brien. Of course, the O'Brien angle has been reported by Ian Rapoport, so take that news with a gigantic grain of salt (see Roethlisberger demanding trade story.)

For O'Brien's sake I hope it's not true, as many have put much faith and trust in his work to help the Penn State program, a job that he has been tremendous at. For Houston, I hope they know that if they lure O'Brien away from Penn State, a university and fan base to which he gave his word, they will be getting only a head coach that looks out for himself. And I think the esteemed Mr. Gregg Easterbrook has pointed out numerous times this type of hire never works out well in the end.

Keep an eye on the following teams, as I predict these will be the squads shopping for a new head coach within the next few days.

Washington, Dallas, Detroit, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, New York Jets and potentially Miami, Tennessee and Atlanta. Stay tuned....

He Said He Said

"Quarterback Joe Flacco wasn’t up to the task this week." - nationalfootballpost.com's Jason Cole

As compared to what, his magical 8 game run last year? The only time in his career Flacco has been up to the task?

“Trent Richardson looks like he’s gonna get the first down, and that certainly doesn’t look like a horse-collar. It looks to … well, wait a minute. On that angle, he may have his hand inside his shoulder pad. When I first looked at that, I thought he had nothing but shoulder pad on the outside, but he may … did … you’re right. At that angle, it looked like [Johnson's hand] might have slipped inside the shoulder pad, and that’s what you’re really not allowed to do. To pull the ball carrier backwards like that.” - CBS' Dan Dierdorf changing his mind from what was correct to what matched the terrible penalty called on the field.

After that awful broadcasting performance, it's probably a good thing Dan's calling it a career. It's one thing to make a mistake like the officials, but it's a much worse thing to change your observation to fit the bad call.

“I stopped worrying about that crap about three weeks ago. Once I learned we could get to 11-5 and we might still not make it, I said, ‘Screw it. Let’s just get to 11-5 and let the chips fall where they may.’ Whatever happens, we’re letting everyone in our division know we’re a team to be reckoned with.” - Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians

Maybe if he went with that attitude from Week 1, his team might be 15-0 right now.

"Candlestick’s a dump. But it’s our dump.” —Former 49ers receiver Dwight Clark

That doesn't make it Yankee Stadium.

“You know you can’t control destiny? Destiny is predetermined set of events. Therefore, if it’s predetermined, you can’t control it.” - Eagles head coach Chip Kelly

Look at the Chipper dropping some English lessons on the press corps. Now, if only he could get a handle on that whole defense thing.

"I still thought that was a touchdown, but I don't pay much mind to all that stuff because it doesn't change anything. I don't really put much stock in all that." - Broncos head coach John Fox on whether or not Peyton Manning's record tying 50th touchdown pass was bobbled.

Do you ever get the feeling, from watching Denver games or the post game interviews and footage, that Peyton Manning is the man truly in charge of the Denver franchise and John Fox is just along for the ride? Yeah, me too. Creepy, isn't it?

"Tell me which safety has better numbers and made more game changing plays than me this year???? I'll wait!!!! This probowl shit is a joke."

"That's why I play for myself, teammates, organization, family& fans. Nothing else matters. All this has done is added more fuel to my fire!" - Giants safety Antrel Rolle having a royal hissy fit about not being selected to the Pro Bowl.

You nailed it Antrel. Obviously you do play for everyone else since you seem to be so concerned and upset that YOU yourself were not given a meaningless honor. One you obviously deserve since your team is 6-9 heading into the final week of the season. It should be apparent you've had a Pro Bowl season since your team has only lost 9 games.

Idiot of the Week

Boy, this has been a difficult season for handing out the award of idiot.

This week, I don the crown of idiot upon Steelers coaches Mike Tomlin and Todd Haley.

Seriously, I won't rehash it again, see The Steel Pit earlier in the column. But how can you not utilize your best asset, your offense, to win the game but instead leave the game in the hands of your special teams and defense, two units that are mediocre at best? All you had to do was have Big Ben sit on the ball for two plays and let Shaun "Dead Eye" Suisham nail another game winner. How can you leave the game in the hands of a defense that had already given up 31 points to an offense led by a quarterback that was on his third team......THIS SEASON????

For that obvious stupidity, Mike Tomlin and Todd Haley you are both idiots.

On Tap This Week

Wow, the end of the regular season. How did we get here so fast? I know as a Pittsburgh fan there were weeks I wish the season was over, but for it to actually be here is, well, surprising and melancholy. But at least we're finishing strong.

Last week: 12-4

Season to Date: 151-89

On top of having a tremendous week, I also won this week's pool. As they say, all good things must come to an end. By tomorrow, that will hold true for the 2013 season. As for today, one final time this season, into the breach we go.

Sunday

Carolina (11-4) at Atlanta (4-11)

Cam Newton and his teammates have a shot at claiming the NFC South if they can pull out a win. Unfortunately for Atlanta, this game represents Tony Gonzalez' last stand. I give Tony a tremendous amount of credit, as he has conducted himself during this lost season with the utmost of class and dignity. Even though we all know he's been thinking the same thought since Week 3; "I came back for this crap?"

Panthers over Falcons

Detroit (7-8) at Minnesota (4-10-1)

In the last hurrah for the ol' Metrodome, Minnesota will be without the services of their one true star, Adrian Peterson. Despite that, I believe the old building will go out with a bang, Detroit will complete its collapse, Jim Schwartz will lose his job, and most likely blame it all on Scut Farkis while screaming "Uncle!".

Vikings over Lions

Washington (3-12) at New York Giants (6-9)

Boy, how hard will St. Louis be rooting for New York this week? That draft trade is looking better and better for the Rams as time goes on.

Giants over Snyders

Baltimore (8-7) at Cincinnati (10-5)

I cannot even quantify how happy I was last week when New England finally exposed that questionable Baltimore defense. Yes, I know most likely Pittsburgh is going nowhere after this week. But I'm just as happy knowing that most likely, neither is that overrated Baltimore squad.

Bungles over Ravens

Cleveland (4-11) at Pittsburgh (7-8)

If Pittsburgh wins, and Baltimore, San Diego and Miami all lose, then despite an 0-4 start, the Steelers will be in the playoffs. I know, beyond bizarre. I have so many conflicting thoughts about this, as well as an immense amount of nervousness, that I'm going to the movies to watch Anchorman 2 and will DVR the game. I'm serious. I'm too nervous and unsure to watch this in real time. Thank goodness for technology.

Steelers over Browns

Houston (2-13) at Tennessee (6-9)

Houston's epic collapse is complete. Hello number one pick and Teddy Bridgewater. Goodbye Matt Schaub and Case Keenum.

Titans over Texans

New York Jets (7-8) at Miami (8-7)

I know they're at home, and Rex Ryan is prominently involved. But after last week in upstate New York, there's no way I can trust Miami. Just no way. Plus, it would be proper karmic payback for the Dolphins, after the nonsense of this season, to lose the playoffs on the final day of the season.

Jets over Dolphins

Jacksonville (4-11) at Indianapolis (10-5)

If the cards fall correctly, Indianapolis could be the number 2 seed with a bye week by the end of the day. They won't be, but they'll play like they could be, and that's sometimes all you need.

Colts over Jaguars

Denver (12-3) at Oakland (4-11)

Peyton Manning needs 66 receptions to break the single season reception mark. As absurd as it would be, how much you want to bet he tries for that record as well?

Broncos over Raiders

Kansas City (11-4) at San Diego (8-7)

KC has already announced it has nothing for which to play, and will be taking their chances with their second string. Go KC second string!

Chiefs over Chargers

San Francisco (11-4) at Arizona (10-5)

I'm so rooting for Arizona, especially since a win today would really make Jim Harbaugh look stupid, and possibly knock him out of the playoffs.

Cardinals over 49ers

St. Louis (7-8) at Seattle (12-3)

Home field advantage is still up for grabs, and I think Seattle needs to wipe the taste of last week's disappointing loss out of their mouths. And despite as feisty as St. Louis has been, this could be just the end of season tonic Seattle needs.

Seahawks over Rams

Tampa Bay (4-11) at New Orleans (10-5)

Just what New Orleans needs, a home game. Hopefully it'll be what Tampa Bay needs, another loss and a fired head coach.

Saints over Buccaneers

Green Bay (7-7-1) at Chicago (8-7)

Despite a ridiculous role of injuries, Green Bay can win the division today. I'm banking on Chicago doing the dumb thing and starting Jay Cutler, thus assuring Green Bay glory.

Packers over Bears

Buffalo (6-9) at New England (11-4)

There's a chance New England could still get the number one seed, and outside chance considering Denver will be going all out. But I have a feeling even if there would be nothing for which to play Bill Belichick would beat up on the lowly Bills just out of habit.

Patriots over Bills

Philadelphia (9-6) at Dallas (8-7)

Thanks to the east coast favoritism of the NFL, this "battle" for the NFC East division was given priority over any other potentially intriguing game this week. Never mind the fact that whoever should come out triumphant will be only slightly better than mediocre and most likely lose in the Wild Card Round. NFC East football rules! That being said, Tony Romo has had back surgery, so his season is done. And by default, so is the season of the Cowboys. Sorry haters, but while it's easy to blame Romo for all of Dallas' faults, he's also the biggest reason this team is typically in contention. Without him, despite my affection for the neck beard, this team is going nowhere.

Eagles over Cowboys

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 16

Welcome one and all to the Christmas edition of the Crystal Ball! We send you out the best wishes to one and all this magical and wonderful time of the year. No matter your beliefs or traditions, all can celebrate happy occasions with the company of friends and family. With all the planning and events upcoming, we will keep this week short so you can go and spend more time with loved ones. That, and certain weekly notes may or may have been lost. But no need to point fingers of stupidity.

But fear not, as we do have a treat for you today and our usual picks to enjoy before the holidays. And next week we'll have a big end of season blowout! In the meantime, enjoy and Merry Christmas one and all!

All I Want For Christmas Is....

While out doing some shopping recently, I stumbled on a lost notebook. But this wasn't any such notebook, it was part of Santa's shopping list. It would seem he dropped his list for all 32 NFL teams. So what's everyone asking for this year?

Buffalo Bills - less appearances by Rob Ford at Bills games. It does not help the already poor reputation of the franchise.

Miami Dolphins - that Ryan Tannehill may end the franchise's long nightmare at quarterback.

New England Patriots - Wes Welker

New York Jets - one way tickets out of town for Mark Sanchez and Rex Ryan.

Baltimore Ravens - A clone of a 27 year old Ray Lewis and a redo on Joe Flacco's cap crippling contract.

Cincinnati Bengals - the first playoff win in a generation.

Cleveland Browns - that the 21st starting quarterback since 1999 will be the last one needed for at least 5 years.

Pittsburgh Steelers - A set of retractable belt barriers to install on the sidelines of Heinz Field.

Denver Broncos - The team's next meaningful game will be in January, with a potential of a 6 week period between big games. In the past, Peyton Manning has performed poorly in such situations. As a consequence, every letter to Santa from the Denver area asked for the same thing. For Peyton Manning to revert to 2006 playoff mode and be the exception to his normal playoff mode.

Kansas City Chiefs - To never wake up from this fantastic dream season.

Oakland Raiders - that much like Pittsburgh's baseball franchise, their swashbuckler themed team will also once again taste a winning season after years of losing.

San Diego Chargers - a prescription of Prozac for Phillip Rivers.

Houston Texans - Just one win. It's been so long, everyone has forgotten what it's like.

Indianapolis Colts - A bit of consistency would be nice. And maybe Trent Richardson to do anything positive.

Jacksonville Jaguars - For their fans to stop begging for Tim Tebow.

Tennessee Titans - No more embarrassing Jacksonville losses.

Dallas Cowboys - For owner Jerry Jones to fire general manager Jerry Jones.

New York Giants - a cure for Eli Manning's Interception-itis.

Philadelphia Eagles - more sweet, dominating snow games!

Washington Snyders - next year's first round draft pick back.

Chicago Bears - That Jay Cutler gets hurt again before he submarines the season.

Detroit Lions - the ability to win when it counts the most.

Green Bay Packers - a healthy Aaron Rodgers. And maybe a run defense if it's not too much to ask.

Minnesota Vikings - Just one competent, team leader of a quarterback before Adrian Peterson walks with no return of investment.

Arizona Cardinals - a guarantee Carson Palmer won't blow out his knee in their first playoff game.

St. Louis Rams - For Daniel Snyder to call again wanting to trade up in the draft.

San Francisco 49ers - A Super Bowl victory, so they may get something out of the Jim Harbaugh era after he bolts for Texas.

Seattle Seahawks - For no additional defensive backs to face suspension.

Atlanta Falcons - An opportunity to replay the 2012 NFC Championship game with a different result.

Carolina Panthers - For Ron Rivera to keep taking chances through February 2nd.

New Orleans Saints - That Rob Ryan takes an unprompted trip to McDonalds before the defense gets exposed in the playoffs.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - a shipment of MRSA destroying antibiotics.

And finally....

Roger Goodell - For the concussion topic to go away, an 18 game season and an unseasonably warm and sunny February 2nd.

On Tap This Week

I had a decent week in Week 15, despite losing a few close games.

Last week: 9-6

Season to Date: 139-85

I'm hanging in there, but time is nigh. Much like every playoff bubble team this week, it's time to put up or shut up.

Sunday

Miami (8-6) at Buffalo (5-9)

Call it an atmospheric feeling.

Bills over Dolphins

Indianapolis (9-5) at Kansas City (11-3)

The AFC top seed is still to be had. And Kansas City's offense is coming on strong.

Chiefs over Colts

Minnesota (4-9-1) at Cincinnati (9-5)

The Bungles have been making me look bad, mostly. Might as well get a win out of it.

Bengals over Vikings

Denver (11-3) at Houston (2-12)

Even if Peyton Manning cedes the game to his backup, I have no faith in what's left of Houston's lost season.

Broncos over Texans

New Orleans (10-4) at Carolina (10-4)

This is for the division. And while New Orleans has the experience, they also have a below average defense that gets worse on the road. And Carolina is hungry and riding high.

Panthers over Saints

Tennessee (5-9) at Jacksonville (4-10)

Tennessee will finally get that win and avoid embarrassment again.

Titans over Jaguars

Dallas (7-7) at Washington (3-11)

What an embarrassing loss last week Dallas suffered on their own home field. If it makes them feel better, there will be hardly anyone at this game to witness what transpires. Without that kind of pressure, they should be fine.

Cowboys over Snyders

Cleveland (4-10) at New York Jets (6-8)

Yeah, Cleveland is on the road and has a worse record. But something tells me they'll play hard until season's end. I don't get the same impression from New York.

Browns over Jets

Tampa Bay (4-10) at St. Louis (6-8)

I'm going with the team that beats New Orleans. There's only one of those in this game.

Rams over Buccaneers

New York Giants (5-9) at Detroit (7-7)

If Detroit blows this gift, then Jim Schwartz should be fired before Monday.

Lions over Giants

Arizona (9-5) at Seattle (12-2)

It's odd to think Arizona could end up with a 10 win season and miss the playoffs. Bizarre world.

Seahawks over Cardinals

Pittsburgh (6-8) at Green Bay (7-6-1)

Matt Flynn did an unbelievable job last week. Maybe an even more memorable performance than his 6 touchdown season ender a few years ago. I'm sure he's brimming with confidence. But you know who I'm picking.

Steelers over Packers

Oakland (4-10) at San Diego (7-7)

It matters not who I pick, when San Diego is involved, I'm sure the opposite of my pick will win.

Chargers over Raiders

New England (10-4) at Baltimore (8-6)

New England is reeling a bit after dropping a heartbreaker to Miami. Baltimore is dealing with a gimpy Joe Flacco. Tom Terrific will expose this overrated defense.

Patriots over Ravens

Chicago (8-6) at Philadelphia (8-6)

Jay Cutler played like the turd he is last week and almost blew a game to Cleveland, multiple times. Yes, the Eagles defense can be questionable at times, but not this week.

Eagles over Bears

Monday

Atlanta (4-10) at San Francisco (10-4)

I think I'll just watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or Elf instead. Maybe take in a preview viewing of A Christmas Story for good measure.

49ers over Falcons

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 15

Snowmageddon strikes the NFL! Boy is the Super Bowl going to be fun if it looks like this. How frightened do you think the NFL is at the prospect of 2 feet of snow on February 2nd?

Opening Kickoff

As the temperature falls, the snow flies and the holidays approach, excitement fills the air for time with family and friends, the exchange of gifts, meals and communion with loved ones and the warmth of a special time of year. But I have a feeling those in Denver now feel a bit of trepidation, thinking of the playoffs after Thursday night. Does Peyton still feel those who question his abilities to play in the cold and snow can go shove it?

The Way It Was

Alright, so Cincinnati didn't revert to the Bungles. But they will, oh they will. Hopefully today.

Way to go Matt Flynn! it's 2011 all over again! Well. maybe not so much.

Congratulations to Denver kicker Matt Prater who set a new NFL record with a 64 yard field goal! Will it take 40 years to break this record?

Adrian Peterson ripped the Baltimore Ravens and their fans for their poor behavior during the Vikings/Ravens snoozefest/manic last 2 minutes.. Adrian, I've been saying for years they're all scumbags, I'm sorry you had to see it for yourself.

It's becoming a weekly happenstance. Jeff Triplette screwed up again, this time awarding a touchdown that did not happen. I think if Triplette keeps it up, Boomer Esiason is going to blow a fuse.

Rob Gronkowski got torn up, wrecking his knee and ending his season. Man, he is good, but he's as fragile as a Faberge egg.

Bernard Pollard laid out Wes Welker, concussing the receiver. Man, Pollard just does not like Patriots, even if they no longer play for New England.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 28 - Dolphins 34

Charles Clay spent the afternoon playing in the snow and making the Pittsburgh defense look foolish. The worst came in the fourth quarter when both Polamalu and Allen attempted to tackle him, and Clay just wormed out of their arm tackles and attempts at the ball and trotted into the end zone. But it wasn't just Clay that was too much for Pittsburgh, so was Mike Tomlin, who again mangled his time outs and end of game clock management so badly I swear I saw Andy Reid on the Steelers sidelines. But no matter anymore.

With this loss, finally everyone else has caught up with what I've said for weeks now, there goes the season. And thank goodness! Let's get to next year! In that vein, here are my suggestions of what the team should do, and what it actually will do. Members of Steelers Nation, you will not like my suggestions. You'll like what the Steelers will do even less.

My Suggestions:

Say goodbye to:

LaMarr Woodley - He's over 30, he breaks down for significant portions of every season, when he is on the field he is average at best (and has been since he got a massive contract a few years ago), he does not take his study or conditioning seriously and spends most of his time blasting radio hosts that question him or the team. In short, he's a terrible Steeler. Yes, cutting him would cost big time against the cap, but it has to happen and sooner is better than later.

Emmanuel Sanders - Considering he's a giant distraction and drops every significant pass thrown his way, I'm still wondering why we paid so much to keep him from landing in New England.

Ryan Clark - He's old, slow, and far more about promoting Ryan Clark than football. Plus, his attitude is piss poor anymore, matching his play.

Maurkice Pouncey - He's brittle, a loudmouth, an expensive distraction, and to be honest does not seem to get the Steeler way. Not only that, Fernando Velasco showed that Pouncey really isn't bringing something irreplaceable to the interior of the offensive line. Plus, I have concerns he may be involved in the Hernandez mess in some way like his brother.

Ike Taylor - Look, I love Ike as much as anyone, but he's done. When you get flamed by the browns in garbage time, it's because you lost a step. and Ike is not a wily veteran that can rely on outwitting opponents. The team made the wrong choice last year by keeping Taylor and letting Keenan Lewis go. Don't compound it by keeping Ike around longer.

Brett Keisel and Troy Polamalu - These will hurt, but are necessary. Keisel has now hit Aaron Smith territory. The talent is still there, the drive and fire is there, but his body is starting to betray him. The team will have to do with Brett as they did with Aaron, make the choice for him. As for Troy, I can make an argument for him staying, but it would have to be at a discounted price. He may have 1-2 seasons left. But unless it's at a lower rate, It would be better to let him go too early than too late (see Taylor, Ike).

The Coaching Staff - Dick LeBeau is a treasure, but it might be time for some fresh ideas. I do not wish him ill, but it's hard for anyone to see its time to move on. I think that may be the case here. Todd Haley sucks and needs to go. Period. And if Mike Tomlin is too stupid or too arrogant to realize this season is wasted and the best thing right now is to use the last three games to find out if the young guys are ready and can possibly contribute or star for the 2014 Pittsburgh Steelers, then he should not be allowed to be responsible for the direction of an NFL franchise.

Art Rooney II - Ok, I'm not saying he should leave the team. He owns it, that won't happen. But he is far too hands on with the football operations than his father ever was. In a frightening way, he seems to be approaching Jerry Jones meddling levels. Art II needs to learn a lesson from his father. Hire good people to build, train, coach and lead the team on the field, and let them do their jobs unencumbered. This lesson alone would change a great many things going wrong right now, as the team seems to operate like a kitchen with too many dissenting chefs in charge.

Say hello to:

Cam Heyward - He gets it, and even better, his play is getting it. A rightful successor to Aaron Smith.

Jason Worilds -  Talk about someone who took longer to develop than originally thought. It turns out he was just playing the wrong side. Thank goodness we figured that out before he got away like Keenan Lewis.

Shamarko Thomas - I've been saying this since early in the season. Sit Clark and let's see what Thomas can do full time.

Jarvis Jones - Same here. Rather than have Woodley's fat ass move to the right side to play poorly, give this kid a chance. Combine his speed with Worilds on the other side and we might have something.

Landry Jones - Do I think he's better than Roethlisberger? God no. But let's save Big Ben from further punishment and see if Jones can be competent enough to sucker some desperate franchise into a trade.

Mike Adams - Last chance, but we have to know. Maybe he'll be like DeCastro and get it. A boy can hope. If not, well at least we'll know.

Markus Wheaton - Do you know anything about this kid? Me either. Promote him to number 2 receiver the rest of the way. Let's find out together.

Steelers Reality:

Very little of this will happen. Maybe one or two players will go, but most will stay for either nostalgia or a false expectation that this was just a "down" year. Instead Art II will continue to meddle, and most likely make the same mistake with Worilds he did with Lewis because of money, thus setting back the team even further. As a whole they will sit on their younger players, in deference to the experienced veterans, who have led the team to a scintillating 5-8 record. The defense will continue to age and be increasingly ineffective. And Haley will continue to flounder while the offense continues to be stale and predictable and for yet another year, the prime of Ben Roethlisberger's franchise quarterback career will be wasted. Well, until his contract expires and he escapes, for which no one here would blame him.

It feels like 1998 all over again. Here's hoping we draft the next Hines Ward next year.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Poor Vernon Davis. A few weeks ago he was tackled by his "manhood". Being pulled down by your hair is one thing, but like this? Yikes.

In that vein, no pun intended, newest Steeler Cody Wallace got a bit inappropriately handsy going for a loose ball. When players say anything can happen at the bottom of those piles, they are not kidding.

Apparently, San Diego fans are not over 2004, with this mocking of Eli Manning.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones supports his defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin, who's defense came within 10 yards of giving up 500 yards of offense to a 5th team this season. Yeah, Kiffin's fired.

A study revealed that hits to the head are still prevalent in the NFL. How is that possible with all of Roger Goodell's focus on safety???

Here's a link showing CBS analyst Bill Cowher enjoying himself at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Tell me, does that look like the face of a man who is interested in any way of dealing with the aggravation of coaching an NFL team? I didn't think so either.

Andre Johnson played Santa Claus this week at his annual toy giveaway. I love it when good people do good things.

Will Jim Harbaugh leave the NFL for Texas? There's probably more money and power in college football, and he can go back to being a mini tyrant and get away with it.

Seahawks quarterback, and all around athlete, Russell Wilson was drafted by the Texas Rangers in baseball's Rule 5 draft. Jeez Mariners, you couldn't jump on this at least ceremoniously?

Upon Further Review

Boy is Washington falling apart faster than cashmere in a washing machine. First it comes out that genius in charge Mike Shanahan had prepared himself to be fired by the end of last season, even going so far as to clean out his office. Well, turns out he was wrong, and with a nice playoff run the coach and team prepared for a more successful 2013 with a hopefully healed RGIII.

That, obviously did not happen. But in the wake of this year's disaster, the dirty laundry is airing out in public. It would seem Shanahan and team megalomaniac Daniel Snyder do not get along well, and have very different ideas of how to handle their star attraction RGIII. Snyder and the quarterback are tight, and Snyder's relationship with Griffin often circumvents what Shanahan in his "infinite" wisdom feels is best for the team.

The strained relationship between coach and owner seems to be reaching critical mass, with it appearing that Shanahan may be on his way out. But a battle of wills is ensuing, as if Shanahan quits, he loses the rest of his bloated contract. But if he gets fired, he'll get paid in full, something Snyder does not want.

Shanahan, in what appears to me a move to goad Snyder into firing him, has benched RGIII for the remainder of the season, obstently to let the young quarterback heal from last season's knee injury that limited him all of 2013. While that move should have been done weeks ago, unfortunately it would appear Shanahan is not doing it as what's best for the team or Griffin, but Shanahan.

The best part is that not only did the Griffin benching tick off the owner and fans, but it ticked off the team's offensive coordinator, Kyle "Son of Mike" Shanahan. Kyle feels the move is not the best for the team, and if it was Mike would have consulted the offensive coordinator before making the move.

Owner fighting coach, coach fighting quarterback, father fighting son, team in distress and losing and fans frustrations boiling over. The Washington Snyders, NFL franchise with off the field drama provided by Vince McMahon and World Wrestling Entertainment.

He Said He Said

"They've got the worst fans in the NFL. It was a bad feeling, a bad feeling." - Vikings running back Adrian Peterson on Baltimore Ravens fans who were pelting visiting Minnesota with snowballs during the game

I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS! I feel so validated!

"We didn't project it to be this way. We expected to blow them out, but they got the benefit of a few calls tonight throughout the game and that helps you, especially on third down. We will see them again, and it will be a different result." - Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman

Richard, a good team overcomes bad calls. Be a man and accept defeat.

“I think it worked out pretty good.” - Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley assessing his own performance on the right side of the defense that netted a total of 1 solo tackle, two assisted tackles and 0 quarterback pressures, hits or sacks

See, this illustrates my point. I do not want a player on my team, claiming to be a Steeler, who is satisfied with such a poor performance. He needs to go because that attitude is infecting the entire team.

“The last straw was losing. We’ve got a lot better talent than Jacksonville, and to have them beat us twice, that’s not acceptable to us. If they’re better than we are, fine. But we didn’t play smart.” - Texans owner Bob McNair on firing head coach Gary Kubiak

I wonder if McNair would have fired Kubiak earlier if the coach had not suffered his mini stroke.

“I’m gonna be honest with you. You look like a succulent baby lamb.” - anchorman Ron Burgundy interviewing Peyton Manning

I'm excited about the movie, but I'm fearful with all the build up it's gonna suck. Oh please don't let it suck.

“You will be allowed to have food in your car and have drink in your car. And provided you’re in the boundaries of a single parking space, you’ll be able to eat or drink right next to your car. However, you’re not going to be able take out a lounge chair, you’re not going to be able to take out a grill, and you’re not going to be able to take up more than one parking space. And it’ll all be watched very carefully.” - Al Kelly on the restrictions to tailgating that will be implemented for Super Bowl XLVIII in the Meadowlands

Wow, sounds like this year's Super Bowl is going to be the opposite of fun.

Idiot of the Week

This week, on this is going to hurt. This week the idiot is me!

Yes, yours truly is this week's idiot. Why you ask? Because I was dumb enough to pick Dallas, who is terrible in December, on the road, in Chicago, on the same night the Bears were retiring the number of Iron Mike Ditka! Even if the game was during the day in September, there is no way the Bears were going to lose on Mike Ditka night!

In retrospect, the pick was so stupid, I had no choice but to point the finger of accusation at the man in the mirror.

I am an idiot.

On Tap This Week

I swear, the closer to Christmas we get, the more excited I get, the less focused I become.

Last week: 9-6

Thursday: 0-1

Season to Date: 130-79

Sure, that's not a bad week. But the week's winner was 4 points higher! Maybe this week I'll pull it together. Then again, I may watch A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation back to back.

Sunday

Philadelphia (8-5) at Minnesota (3-9-1)

Watch Napoleon Dynamite claim the division! As for Minnesota, no Peterson, no Gerhart, no chance.

Eagles over Vikings

New England (10-3) at Miami (7-6)

Now, watch what a good team does to this joke that calls themselves the Dolphins.

Patriots over Dolphins

Chicago (7-6) at Cleveland (4-9)

I'm not sold on the Bears this season, but come on, it's Cleveland.

Bears over Browns

Houston (2-11) at Indianapolis (8-5)

Well, maybe the next phase of the Houston Texans will be more successful. Keep striving for that overall number one pick, boys.

Colts over Texans

Washington (3-10) at Atlanta (3-10)

Washington has named Kirk Cousins their starter at quarterback. See Mike Tomlin, even the lowly Washington Snyders are looking at backups to assess what they have. Take a lesson.

Falcons over Snyders

Buffalo (4-9) at Jacksonville (4-9)

The winner loses draft position. Who knows what's the best way to go here.

Jaguars over Bills

San Francisco (11-2) at Tampa Bay (4-9)

It's the battle of the arrogant egomaniacal head coaches! At least Harbaugh has some success to back up his behavior.

49ers over Buccaneers

Seattle (11-2) at New York Giants (5-8)

I'm betting Seattle scores more than 14 points this week.

Seahawks over Giants

Kansas City (10-3) at Oakland (4-9)

Good offensive output by KC last week. If they can keep that up, they may win the division yet.

Chiefs over Raiders

New York Jets (6-7) at Carolina (9-4)

You think Carolina was upset with losing to New Orleans last week? Me too. You think the Jets will pay for that? Me too.

Panthers over Jets

New Orleans (10-3) at St. Louis (5-8)

Sean Payton with another playoff tune-up. I do believe he wants badly to be on stage with Goodell on February 2nd. Very badly.

Saints over Rams

Green Bay (6-6-1) at Dallas (7-6)

I don't feel good about Dallas, for obvious reasons. But I feel worse about Green Bay on the road with either Aaron Rodgers on the bench or gimpy in his first game back.

Cowboys over Packers

Arizona (8-5) at Tennessee (5-8)

We're getting closer to Carson Palmer's triumphant return to the playoffs! Exciting I know!

Cardinals over Titans

Cincinnati (9-4) at Pittsburgh (5-8)

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin stated the team's approach would not change in the wake of the team's 8th loss. It has to change. You have to start preparing for 2014 now. And that means knowing what kind of players you have on your depth chart. Which means they must play. Tomlin's first job must be to assess talent for next year over the remaining 3 games. Winning is secondary, at best. And honestly, its detrimental to 2014. The more you win, the worse your draft position will be. If the team wins out and go 8-8, you just screw yourself in April. I hope Tomlin wakes up and realizes this. Regardless of what I just said...(sorry, it's a sickness)

Steelers over Bungles

Monday

Baltimore (7-6) at Detroit (7-6)

I still cannot figure out how a team as crappy as Baltimore is 7-6. I'm counting on Detroit to expose that questionable defense once and for all.

Lions over Ravens