The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 12

Did everyone know that this week is Peyton vs. Brady XIV? Yes, the NFL Network used roman numerals to promote this game. Personally I'm surprised they're letting other games be played on such a hallowed day.

Opening Kickoff

Severe weather, that included numerous tornadoes, at the Ravens/Bears game in Chicago caused a delay of almost two hours. NFL analyst Ray Lewis said the weather was brought on by Roger Goodell, who wanted to get the Bears, who were losing 10-0 at the time of the delay, back into the game.

The Way It Was

Tremendous effort by rookie walk on and former Penn State quarterback Matt McGloin grabbing the starting reigns in Oakland and leading the black and silver attack to a win. I bet his success will help Bill O'Brien's recruiting efforts.

Was there anything more awkward about last weekend than watching Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn hanging out together at the Broncos game? I hope not.

Gary Kubiak replaced Case Keenum with deposed starter Matt Schaub during the game, in hopes of sparking his tanking team. It didn't work, Schaub got into it with Andre Johnson and most likely Schaub and Kubiak will be out of work come January.

Don't get me wrong, I like Peyton Manning. He's funny, self effacing, a tremendous competitor, talented and a ridiculously dedicated and hard worker. But he beats Kansas City, and once again the sports media world goes overboard with their effusive praise and develops a complete case of amnesia regarding Manning and post season success.

49ers Ahmad Brooks was ticked off about his penalty for hitting Drew Brees. Brooks, settle down. First off, you know the NFL is going to protect quarterbacks not named Roethlisberger, right? Second, you hit him high, case closed. And third, I'd be more mad your offense looked so pathetic for the second week in a row.

Boy, watching the replay of that hit in slow motion is painful. I didn't think a human neck could stretch like that.

I gotta say I loved Shady McCoy grabbing that dumb flag from the Washington Snyders fan. What a dinkus that fan was for waving it in his face in the first place.

Let's be honest, most likely Greg Schiano will not be in Tampa Bay come 2014. So it figures in his final games he is royally screwing up the team for the next guy by damaging their draft position. He can't even fail right.

So the Patriots and their sycophantic supporters are screaming from the mountaintops that they got jobbed at the end of the Carolina game. You know what? They're right, holding should have been called. You know what else? It's about damn time. That team typically gets all the breaks. Se how it feels for everyone else you favored jackwads.

The NFL officials claim the call was correct. Come on NFL, I hate the Pats, but there was obvious holding on Gronkowski.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 37 - Lions 27

Wow. Just wow. That was one hell of a game.

Well, except for the 2nd quarter, of course.

Pittsburgh started off great, but I had an uneasy feeling as the 1st quarter ticked down. And that feeling was born out in the most horrific way. Ike Taylor completely fell apart, the offense started settling for field goals, and the defense as a whole began to look confused and exposed.

Matt Stafford took advantage of this and utilized Calvin Johnson to strafe the Steeler defense. Stafford had over 300 yards passing in the 1st half, Calvin Johnson had over 150 yards receiving and 2 touchdowns, in the 2nd quarter alone, and Ike Taylor could not have done worse, giving up both touchdowns, a holding call and a pass interference call. The Steeler offense, on the other hand, suddenly could not gain a single yard, and lost a touchdown due to it. Thanks to these combined pathetic efforts, and numerous breakdowns by the special teams, let to a halftime deficit for the home team.

I don't know what Mike Tomlin said at halftime, but boy did it work.

The defense gave up 0 points in the second half, and contained the mighty Megatron to 0 receptions, a feat as amazing as it sounds. In addition, the defense forced 3 turnovers, including a major interception by Will Allen in the second half that led to the game's final score. The offense went to work and scored 17 unanswered points and the Steelers walked away with a very satisfying victory.

But I still have a question, I want someone to tell me how Mat McBriar is better than Zoltan Mesko, who was better than Drew Butler?

In other news, in case you were wondering Big Ben is quite loyal to the Steelers, and that may include translating to loyalty during his next contract discussions. Color me unsurprised, Ian Rapoport.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Jaguar Jason Babin got a unique in game souvenir, a big chunk of Cardinal Andre Ellington's hair. Ewww.

And speaking of the Jaguars, the Jersey City New Jersey mayor's office got a scare from a mysterious letter addressed to the mayor that contained a picture of Tim Tebow and a white powder. While the powder turned out to be harmless, it still brought out police, fire, hazmat and bomb squads.

And Jaguar fans still, more badly than ever, want them some Tebow. Come on Shahid Khan, give the fans what they want!

Staying in Florida, NFL investigators are meeting with the Dolphins regarding the Incognito/Martin investigation. Meanwhile, Richie Incognito, who now is being further accused of harassment by Dolphins staffers, wants to rejoin the team according to soon to be disgraced teammate Mike Pouncey. Understandably the Dolphins are hoping to delay Incognito's grievance hearing, since they obviously have too much on their hands at the moment.

Wow, let's find something less weird. Oh yes, here we go. Apparently, Colts running back Trent Richardson has a sex tape featuring the well equipped running back in a sexual orgy. Hopefully Richardson and his people can sell this soon, because by season's end no one will know who he is.

One of Peyton Manning's Papa John's franchises was robbed during Sunday Night Football. Yes, that's bad but no one was hurt. What is bad that against police advice, the store stayed open and continued working, not missing a delivery. Now the employees are up in arms and some are quitting. Manning hasn't visited the store, or is Papa John speaking about this. Is anyone surprised that workaholic Manning's store would continue working, even after a robbery?

Adrian Peterson feels that the NFL rules baby quarterbacks. Well duh! Is this AP's first day in the league?

Washington Snyders tackle Trent Williams accused umpire Roy Ellison of cursing and insulting the player during the Washington/Philadelphia collision. The NFL has suspended Ellison for one game. Man what's the game coming to when the refs are talking harder trash than the players?

Upon Further Review

During Sunday's Bills/Jets game, a Bills fan, horse playing on the stadium railings, fell over the side of the third deck onto a fan in the deck below. Captured by cameras, the fan and the man he landed on were both sent to the hospital, treated and released. A feel good end to what could have been a needless tragedy.

Oh but wait, we're not done. First, the fan who fell was banned from Ralph Wilson Stadium. That sucks. Then he was fired from his job because of the incident. That's worse. And this happened all after surviving a frightening fall off of the third deck of a sports stadium, a fall that's killed people in other stadiums.

What can we all take away from this harrowing story of stupidity and bad luck? The next time your mother tells you to stop goofing around and get off the stair railings, you listen to her. She's telling you this not just for your own safety, but also for your economic well being. If this guy had listened to his mother, he'd still have a job.

He Said He Said

"I didn't hit him with my hand or my helmet. I basically bear-hugged him. That's just how football is played. I think this shit is bullshit. Football, the way they call stuff these days, it's watered down. It ain't real no more." - 49ers Ahmad Brooks on his hit on Brees

Ahmad, I know you're angry, but come on. You hit him high. No one's neck does that because of a bear hug.

"They're trying to protect the players around the NFL as much as possible, but I think they protect the offensive players a little too much. We still get chopped in the defensive line. We still get cut-blocked from the offensive linemen and they don't do anything about that. If you're going to protect everybody, then how about they change the rules on [the] chop block?"' - 49ers Ahmad Brooks

Now Brooks is on to something. The safety double standard between offensive and defensive players is the elephant in the room, and yet another reason I refuse to take Goodell's safety campaign nonsense seriously.

“You have opportunities in life, rare opportunities to do some special things. We had that today.” - Bears quarterback Josh McCown

You won a football game. You didn't travel to the moon or cure a disease. Settle down hot rod.

“It’s terrible. It’s not fun. As great as it is to win, it’s lousy when you lose any game. Sunday Night Football is a big game and a big environment. To come here and come up short hurts and stings. But how many teams have ever gone undefeated given the history of football?’’ - Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith

It's like he has perspective and no perspective at the same time. Alex Smith, the alpha and omega of NFL quotes.

“Matt McGloin went from camp arm in late April to Raiders starting QB on Sunday. No way anyone saw that happening.” - Raiders beat writer Steve Corkran

And therein lies the problem with the Raiders organization for years now. No one ever sees these things happening until after the fact.

"Please don’t humor the Steelers by giving your Steeler fan friend one of those things [throwback jerseys] for the holidays." - The MMQB's Peter King

Especially because there is nothing humorous about those awful uniforms. I get one of those for Christmas, and the gift giver and I are gonna tangle.

"It was disappointing because we had to go to our silent count at home." - Texans guard Wade Smith on fans booing Matt Schaub

"I'm under contract, so I have to play my contract out. I can't do anything about that." - Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson when asked if he wants to stay in Houston

Texans football, catch the fever!

"Maybe I made myself more tradable." - Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, joking with reporters after the Lions win

You know what the funniest part of this ridiculous Ian Rapoport story is, other than Rapoport's and the NFL Networks' inability to admit they are wrong, is the assertion the Steelers don't have the money for Big Ben. Roethlisberger is the first player ever to collect over $70 Million of a $100 Million + contract. Now you tell me if that makes the Steelers a cheap team. If anything, it shows me they keep their word.

Idiot of the Week

We have a tie this week for idiot, with our co-winners being Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Jets safety Ed Reed.

Brady wins for acting like a petulant jackass after the Carolina game. Brady, who like every Patriot, felt the team got jobbed when the officials picked up the flag against Carolina thus awarding the win to the Panthers, went after the officials. In a berating usually reserved for his wide receivers, Brady tore the officials a new one because, well, he's Tom Brady and he should get every call. The vehement dressing down did nothing but illustrate to everyone what a blowhard douchebag Brady is and how poorly he treats others despite the good fortune he's encountered in his life.

Meanwhile, Ed Reed showed the level of his cluelessness, which is pretty high. Reed, newly signed with the Jets, took the opportunity when meeting with the Baltimore press in advance of today's game to yet again rip the Houston Texans organization. Remember, this is the same organization that awarded an obviously washed up Reed a fat contract for his diminishing skills and what I can now only classify as questionable leadership. Instead of feeling good about himself for getting another big paycheck in the winter of his career, Reed preferred to again bite the hand that fed him and then cut him. The truly idiotic part? Reed chose to rip the Texans only days after E.J. Manual and the Bills torched Reed so bad he thought his name was Ike Taylor.

So Tom and Ed, for being completely unaware of how stupid you both sound, and act, you are both idiots.

On Tap This Week

Last week is what I like to call the "Should have Known Better" Week. I have one every season. For instance, last week, I....

....should have known better than to pick the Chargers when they traveled across the country for a game. Heck I avoided it a few weeks.

....should have known better than to pick the Jets on the road with a rookie quarterback who has been questionable at best most of the season and when they started a liability at safety who was cut by his previous employer just days before.

....should have known better to pick a Houston and Atlanta teams in such shambles they seem to be competing to see who can create a bigger crater at season's end.

Last week: 8-6

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 105-58

Here's hoping I learned my lesson, or it's no dessert for me!

Sitting at home, dreaming of turkey and trimmings: Buffalo, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Seattle.

Sunday

New York Jets (5-5) at Baltimore (4-6)

It's Ed Reed's emotional return to Baltimore! When Joe Flacco strafes Reed, after the game, he'll blame Matt Schaub and Wade Phillips.

Ravens over Jets

Chicago (6-4) at St. Louis (4-6)

If Josh McCown keeps winning, Jay Cutler might want to start preparing himself to hit the washed up quarterback circuit. Next stop Oakland!

Bears over Rams

San Diego (4-6) at Kansas City (9-1)

Forget it San Diego. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I must be an idiot. Although I am worried KC's first loss harkens the arrival of old Andy Reid.

Chiefs over Chargers

Pittsburgh (4-6) at Cleveland (4-6)

If Brian Hoyer were playing, I'd be uber concerned. He's not, so Cleveland worries me little. What does worry me is the Steeler coaches getting cute and deciding that they used the effective no huddle too much last week and go back to letting Haley call ineffective plays all day.

Steelers over Browns

Minnesota (2-8) at Green Bay (5-5)

This is the week Scott Tolzien gets his first win. I believe it!

Packers over Vikings

Tampa Bay (2-8) at Detroit (6-4)

Man, what an unfortunate loss the Lions suffered last week. What's worse, is now Tampa Bay has to suffer for that loss.

Lions over Buccaneers

Jacksonville (1-9) at Houston (2-8)

Even Houston can't lose this game, can they?

Texans over Jaguars

Carolina (7-3) at Miami (5-5)

I'm not sure how much more authoritatively I could jump on the Carolina bandwagon, but if they win today, I'll find a way.

Panthers over Dolphins

Tennessee (4-6) at Oakland (4-6)

Tennessee had a bit of hope there at the beginning of the season. They looked almost competent. Funny how fast things change.

Raiders over Titans

Indianapolis (7-3) over Arizona (6-4)

Here's my upset of the week. The Colts seem to play to their competition, and I have my doubts how good Arizona actually is. By Monday, they'll at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Cardinals over Colts

Dallas (5-5) at New York Giants (4-6)

It's funny watching Dallas fold, and look bad doing it, while Jerry Jones furrows his brow trying to find someone to blame other than himself. It's one of my favorite end of the year traditions.

Giants over Cowboys

Denver (9-1) at New England (7-3)

Peyton vs Brady XIV??? I will be waiting all day for Sunday night! Well, mostly for The Walking Dead, but I might check in from time to time.

Broncos over Patriots

Monday

San Francisco (6-4) at Washington (3-7)

Hmmm, let's see, an overrated San Francisco team that's scored a total of 19 points over the last two games, or a Washington team that keeps losing, has it's starting quarterback taking veiled shots at the coaching staff and his teammates calling said quarterbacks comments, "cold blooded" and questioning his leadership. I guess I have to watch Harbaugh be happy.

49ers over Redskins