The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 9 Halloween Special

Ok, so maybe yours truly had a Halloween party to attend last Saturday eve. And maybe yours truly spent a bunch of time finishing a costume on Friday and Saturday. And maybe yours truly slept in on Sunday morning, reveling in a day of rest. And maybe, well, that led to….

…you the good reader receiving a second Thursday Night Special Plus, on Halloween no less! And you didn’t even have to say Trick or Treat.

Opening Kickoff

As it is Halloween, I present you with the scariest item I could find this season…

THE AFC NORTH STANDINGS!!! AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Team              Won    Lost

Cincinnati       6          2

Baltimore         3          4

Cleveland        3          5

Pittsburgh        2          5

My Favorite Part of Week 7

Easy, it was watching the mighty Broncos lose. Not because I wish ill on Denver’s team, far from it. But it felt satisfying to watch them lose after the Peyton Manning Returns Home buildup, and the feting of Manning pre-game.

I remember a few years ago when Tim Tebow ran the Bronco offense, and people had a problem with the amount of attention and credit Tebow received for the team’s turnaround and mid to late season winning. It’s funny, as many of those same people have no problem idolizing Manning in a similar fashion. Granted, the skill level and accomplishment of both men at the position of NFL quarterback are worlds apart. But, let’s be honest. Peyton is given too much credit for the team’s success and it would seem many of the vital role players are lost in the vapor trails of the Manning Express. However, I have a feeling it will balance out nicely come January, when Peyton takes too much heat for yet another playoff loss.

But I digress. It was fun watching the Colts stew on the sidelines as their fans applauded the opposing quarterback. I wondered during the pre game festivities if Andrew Luck sat there watching his crowd and his team fete and gush all over Peyton Manning, and watched Manning just soak it up and just went, Ok old man let's see what you got. I know Robert Mathis did. I guess Peyton did find out often that Mathis hits harder than Eli. But I wonder if he hits harder than Cooper? Some mysteries, I suppose, will remain unresolved.

It must have been very confusing for the Indianapolis faithful, watching Peyton lose yet another prime time, highly anticipated matchup with a strong team led by a dynamic quarterback, yet see the Colts win the game. I bet more than a few of them were bummed when they saw the dejected Manning amble off the field out of sheer habit and needed their seat neighbors to remind them that Manning is losing big games for another team now. Talk about awkward.

Hopefully this will be a nice preview of perhaps an AFC Wild Card or Divisional game in January. After all, Bronco fans deserve to watch Peyton choke when it counts at home too.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 18 – Raiders 21

What, you thought beating the anemic Raiders would have fixed everything?

I’ll have more regarding my issues with this team on Sunday, but today I’d like to mention two points I’ve been stewing on lately.

One of the biggest problems that have become apparent with this year’s Steelers team is the arrogance of the coaching staff. I get it, people hate to be wrong, see that things are wrong and have it shown they're wrong. But the greater sin than making a mistake is failing to recognize and rectify it properly. That shows arrogance, ignorance and a dangerous level of self delusion.

The best, and latest, example of this is Mike Tomlin benching outside linebacker Jarvis Jones after a putrid performance on Sunday. Tomlin, when asked, did leave the door open for Jones’ return.

“Jarvis has got to play better from an assignment standpoint. If he's capable of showing that, he'll be given an opportunity to contribute now. I think that's where our mentality is and where it should be at this juncture.”

And Jones did have a bad game. He provided no pressure on the quarterback, could not keep contain on the outside edge on quarterback Terrelle Pryor. He never came close to getting a sack and looked absolutely terrible in pass coverage. But you know what, those exact metric could be applied to the other outside linebacker LaMarr Woodley.

Woodley finished the game with zero tackles, zero sacks and zero pressures. Woodley and resident blowhard Ryan Clark were also the primary fools in Oakland’s first play from scrimmage, the record setting 93 yard touchdown run by Pryor. So my question for Tomlin would be, if Jones is being demoted for poor play, shouldn’t Woodley and Clark be as well? Jones is young, and raw, but he’s going to get better. Woodley and Clark are only going to get older, slower and dumber.

But Tomlin either cannot see this or refuses to admit it. He continues to compound bad decisions with questionable fixes and bigger mistakes. While he shoulders the blame each week, that is only a hollow sentiment. He should shoulder the blame. He is the man who shaped the roster, coached the players and oversees the schemes put in by each unit. If it fails, it’s on him. Taking the blame is not noble, it’s his job.

The coaching staff's resistance to admitting mistakes and correcting them after the fact for the greater good is the stupidest thing I've seen lately, short of Congress and the President spending half of October doing the same thing with the livelihoods of millions in their hands and the fate of the country in the balance. Hmmm, perspective is a good thing. Perhaps I’m overreacting a bit. Well, I am a sports fan, so that is part of the job description.

The other item that has been sticking my head was born from a recent radio segment I heard. The station’s sports reporter was asking Steeler veterans their memories and recollections of their first encounter with Steelers/Ravens rivalry. Safety Troy Polamalu mentioned a great tidbit from his rookie season in 2003. It was the last game of the season and the Steelers were out of the playoff chase, sitting at 6-9. Ravens had secured division, as they would victory this day, and go to the playoffs. But, as Troy recalled, before coin toss former Steelers linebacker Joey Porter and former Ravens ex-con Ray Lewis were face to face at mid field, jawing, trash talking and going at each other, two seconds and an eyelash away from breaking out into a full on fight. Listening to this recollection, I could see it in my mind’s eye as though it were yesterday. I could picture Joey stalking the field before the game, his jersey tucked up under his pads to show off his 6 pack, creating discourse and piling on intimidation. I could see him barking at the other team, drawing their attention on him, breaking their focus, being the bad guy as he so loved to be.

And that's when it hit me. That's what's missing from this Steelers team. We need a loudmouth bad ass who not only talks the talk, but goes out and walks the walk. We've always had a true bad ass on the field. Right now, who's our bad ass? There is none. The last one we had was James Harrison, but the last two seasons he wasn't his typical self. And watching him jump up and down on the field to congratulate the kicker in Cincinnati's last second win showed me that lion is fully in winter.

Where's our next Harrison, Porter, Jason Gildon, Greg Lloyd, Jack Lambert, Mean Joe Greene? Where's the next bad ass to step up and take the mantle? Until we find one, I fear this team will be not only a long time from regaining its swagger, but also its winning ways.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh tried to break up a fight between players, and it ended in predictably hilarious results. I bet John used to give him wedgies all the time.

Colts punter Pat McAfee blew up Trindon Holliday with a great touchdown saving tackle. Then the next day was immediately informed by the NFL it was time for a “random” drug test. Yes, NFL, punters are the problem. Not Denver’s Von Miller who put on 16 pounds of muscle during his 6 game suspension for using illegal performance enhancing drugs. Let me say that again. A convicted performance drug user added 16 pounds of muscle in 6 weeks. Yeah, McAfee is the problem.

The reeling Texans jettisoned 3 rookies for using marijuana, a violation of league rules. No they didn’t. They cut them because the stink, they wanted to sign other players instead, and used the player’s love of weed as the excuse. Come on, who are you kidding Texans, like half the league doesn’t toke up.

Some douchebag Jets and Patriots fans got into a fight after the Pats/Jets collision. The fight was unfortunately stopped before it could escalate, consume both fan bases and rid us of their arrogant, smug superiority. Oh well, maybe next time.

NFL analyst and former quarterback Steve Young praised Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning by saying the Denver gunslinger has reached a new level. I’ll believe that when I see him win in the divisional round.

Here’s a nice way of distracting NFL fans from having to rectify their feelings over watching men permanently disable themselves each week, just what do players eat on the plane as they travel to away games! And what a wacky surprise, the rookies are in charge of getting meals for everyone!

In desperation after losing Sam Bradford for the season, the St. Louis Rams called former quarterback and professional jeans salesman Brett Favre. Let’s not kid ourselves here. The Rams never thought Favre would take them seriously. The only reason they called is publicity, because Jeff Fisher knows as well as you do that the next time anyone talks about the Rams in any serious way, it’ll be to determine what they’ll do with the number 3 overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft.

And finally, the boyfriend of a Ravens receptionist lost her Super Bowl ring in the Chesapeake Bay. Initial reports stated it was swallowed by a fish, but then immediately spit out into the bay and the fish swam off choking and coughing.

He Said He Said

“If I see him in the street, I’m going to bust him in the f**king mouth.” – Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith on Rams cornerback Janoris Jenkins

Don’t hold back Steve, tell us how you really feel about Janoris.

“I don’t throw anymore. The shape that I’m in is not anything like football shape, nor do I want to play. It took me 20 years, but in my 20th year, I realized I didn’t like getting hit.” – former quarterback Brett Favre

It took him 20 years to learn that? Yeesh, most people learn that the first time they get hit. I hate to say it but Brett might be kinda dumb.

“I throw a lot of wobbly passes. A lot of wobbly TDs too.” – Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning after his team’s loss to the Colts when asked about some of his bad passes

Hmmm, it’s not as witty as his previous outings. I’m not sure I like the new material.

“I was fairly happy about it. I was thinking, ‘It’s about time we got a break.’ ” – Jets head coach Rex Ryan on the Patriots penalty on Nick Folk’s field goal attempt that allowed the Jets to move closer and ultimately win the game

Hey Rex, you’re shockingly still employed as an NFL head coach. You already got your break.

“Yeah, that was emotional.” – Texans defensive coordinator Wade Phillips on J.J. Watt tipping an imaginary 10 gallon hat to the crowd in tribute to Bum Phillips, legendary coach and father of Wade who passed away two days before the game

If the Texans wanted to honor Bum properly, they should start winning games.

Idiot of Last Week

This one was pretty easy as I awarded it to Patriots rookie cornerback Logan Ryan.

During the Jets/Patriots overtime blood fest, Ryan picked off Jets quarterback Geno Smith then streaked 81 yards for his first career touchdown. Awesome moment in any young player’s life, right?

However, Ryan ruined it by turning around as he approached the goal line to face the Jets trailing him, and then leapt backward into the end zone while grabbing his man bits. Obviously, Ryan went to charm school.

Look, it’s a fine line between celebrating and rubbing your opponent’s nose in it. Personally, I tend to think players should err on the side of caution, but the NFL should loosen up at times over a fun, spontaneous celebration. There can be a happy medium.

This, on the other hand, is not celebrating or even taunting; it’s being an obnoxious ass clown. To be honest, I’m surprised Bill Belichick didn’t have him killed on the spot for defying the “Patriot Way”. And the worst part is that little nonsense was completely overshadowed by Ryan and his defensive compatriots getting beat in overtime by said lowly Jets. So Logan Ryan, for putting your ass clown tomfoolery and me first attitude above the team, and looking like a fool in front of millions, you are an idiot.

On Tap Tonight

Ok, a little catch up, we’re actually doing pretty good right now.

Last week: 11-2

Season to Date: 81-40

Not too shabby eh? I keep hanging in there and would probably be leading if I could just…pick…against….AAAAAAHHH I can’t even say it, it’s too horrifying! Let’s just get to the game tonight.

Thursday

Cincinnati (6-2) at Miami (3-4)

This is appropriate, since Cincinnati’s always dressed for Halloween and Miami’s been playing tricks on its fan base since Dan Marino retired. My best guess is that the Bengals tonight will put a strangle hold on the AFC North. And then over the last 8 weeks of the season, will revert to the Bungles and choke it away to Baltimore. And that is the scariest thing that will happen on Halloween.

Bengals over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 7

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady revealed he suffered a black eye during the game against the Saints. Ban the Saints again! Will this team ever learn? Now they've gone too far! How could they do this to the handsome visage of Tom Brady!  What cads! What scallywags! Let the lambasting of New Orleans begin! I formally kick off Black Eye Gate!

Opening Kickoff

Jets rookie Sheldon Richardson started trash talking early, stating he feels the NFL babies Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Who says rookies don't learn fast.

The Way It Was

The Jaguars kept their game against the juggernaut that is the Denver Peytons close and managed to cover the spread! It may be the closest they come to victory all season.

The Chiefs rolled to another victory, racking up an astronomical 10 sacks against the Raiders. I like this version of Andy Reid. See what a mental drain coaching in Philadelphia is? Cut to Buddy Ryan, Rich Kotite and Dick Vermeil nodding solemnly.

Houston continued their baffling freefall, with things reaching a new low when Texans fans cheering when Matt Schaub was hurt. You stay classy Houston.

After relieving the injured Schaub, backup quarterback T.J. Yates threw an interception that was returned 99 yards for a touchdown. Seriously, no one could catch him? The Texans need to have Don Beebe come in and give that team a motivational speech.

In additional disturbing fan behavior, 49er fans did the Wave while Cardinals defensive end Calais Campbell was being carted off the field for injury. To their credit, the team called out fans for their abhorrent behavior. See, nothing good ever comes from doing the Wave.

Wow, what a defensive collapse by the Saints. The New Orleans defensive unit gave Tom Brady three chances to win the game in the last 4 minutes, with Brady and the Patriots committing what should have been game losing mistakes on two of those chances. After a torrid start, I think we can now commence with the official meltdown of a Rob Ryan defense. Cowboy fans you don't have to watch, you suffered for years already.

I swear the panthers must be dual personalities

Josh Freeman found work, signing with the quarterback challenged Minnesota Vikings. Somewhere in Arizona, Larry Fitzgerald is looking at his quarterback depth chart and sobbing quietly.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 19 - Jets 6

Hey, look at that, a win! Weird that it came after the Pirates were done for the season. It's like they both cannot be successful at the same time...

There were more than a few things to like about the game beyond the final score. Troy Polamalu's hit on Stephen Hill was vintage Steeler defense. The team could so use more of that.

Despite Clark's suggestions, Ben Roethlisberger was himself much to the delight of Steeler fans.

Speaking of Clark, he procured the team's first turnover, and missed a second interception. He was probably too distracted thinking about his potential post game comments.

And while it was a decent, solid game, let's not get too excited. The Jets were an overrated 3-2 going into the game with a shaky rookie quarterback under center. Plus, a good portion of their skill position players were out of the game due to injury.

That being said, it sure was nice seeing a win. Hopefully, the team can build on this in some sort of positive way.

In other Steeler news, before the game left tackle Mike Adams was demoted to 3rd string, behind Kelvin Beachum and Levi Brown. I imagine he hit 3rd string because they did not have a 4th string.

But the Adams era may come back. Because without playing a down of football in Black and Gold, the Levi Brown era in Pittsburgh ended in injury with Brown tearing his triceps in pre-game warm-ups. How does that even happen?

And finally embattled offensive coordinator Todd Haley was sued by a contractor for allegedly backing out of a million dollar home deal and then trashing said house. Man, that guy can't do anything right.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Woof, that hot seat for Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano is getting hotter. Especially since the team is suffering a MRSA outbreak. Now the program is literally dirty.

To make things worse, the NFLPA thinks that Schiano leaked the private information about former quarterback Josh Freeman. Isn't it funny to see someone who's such an obvious bully and jerk get roasted?

Troubled 49er Alton Smith is in deeper water, now facing felony weapons charges. Ok, I know these are grown men, but come on NFL, they need some guidance. You make billions off their backs, you have to do a better job than this.

The NFL is set to meet and discuss the Washington team nickname. Personally, I feel that it is up to the Native American community to determine the offensiveness and continued usage of this word. I choose not to use it as I also choose not to use other derogatory slurs. But this word is not directed toward me, and therefore my input should be minor at best. In an attempt to be respectful to those who do find the word hurtful and offensive, I will continue to refer to the team as the Snyders. Plus, it's just fun tweaking Dan Snyder.

Thank goodness Bob Costas doesn't feel quite the same way as me. It's much more fun when he takes his Sunday night pulpit and insinuates himself into a story in which he doesn't belong.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says the league will look into playoff expansion in 2015. Hey, as long as no one is dying in front of the cameras on Sunday, more games is not a problem for Heir Goodell.

Upon Further Review

I would just like to take a moment away from football this week and give a hearty congratulations and a gigantic thank you to the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates.

For the first time in 20 years, the Pirates had not just a winning season, but a post season berth, won 3 post season games, a post season round (yes the one game wild card does count as a post season round) and took the NL Champion, and possible World Series Champion, Cardinals to game 5 of the NLDS. As a matter of fact, the Pirates played the Cardinals to a draw all season, going 12-12 against their powerful division rivals. But those are merely numbers.

The real story was the electricity that was felt all through Pittsburgh as the team continued its ascent from the basement to legitimate baseball team. The city became alive again with a baseball fervor not seen since Andy Van Slyke patrolled center field.

This team also has a popular center fielder, and Andrew McCutchen and his band of merry Pirates did something so many of us thought would never be possible. Not just bring a winner back to Pittsburgh, but bring Pittsburgh back to the Pirates.

When you lose for 20 straight season, it's not just bandwagon fans that abandon the team. It's real fans. It's die hard fans. It's true blue fans. It could be argued that the only fans left at that point were masochists, and I'm sure a few psychiatrists would agree. But Cutch and his crew changed the culture of the clubhouse, the team and the city noticed, and came screaming back.

And yes, screaming is the proper word. Everyone saw the Wild Card game against Cincinnati. That was 20 years of pain, suffering and despair coming out in one of the most cathartic and magical moments that I have ever witnessed as a fan. Even though I was not able to attend in person, I felt it. Even fans of other teams felt it, as it was the only thing the baseball world talked about for several days.

And that's the wonder and disappointment of it all. It was such a magical moment and post season run, that when it ended, I like most Pirate fans felt so deflated. I felt for several days a sadness wash over me that was hard to pinpoint. But finally after some thought, I realized why I felt sad.

I wasn't sad because they lost, or because my identity is too wrapped up in the success of a professional sports team or because I lost money. I was sad because such a fun, wonderful, magical, nerve racking, aggravating and amazing ride was now over. Truth be told, if the team did the unthinkable and won the World Series, two days after the parade I'd probably feel the same way.

I was sad in the sniffles laden way a child is when something ends. And that makes sense because this magical season really made me feel like a kid again. It was such a wonderful ride and it made everyone just delirious with joy. I just never wanted it to end.

But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. And the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates season is no exception. Yes, it came to and end sooner than most of us would have liked, but the memories, feelings and emotions will stay with us for a long time. And for the first time in many years, I truly cannot wait for spring training to begin. But until then, I will relive the wonderful season that was, revel in the potential season awards the team may win, and take manager Clint Hurdle's words to heart, when speaking about the retirement of his former player and friend Todd Helton.

"Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened."

I think it applies here too. Thank you Pirates for everything, and see you next year.

He Said He Said

"If you haven't failed, you haven't lived. I guess that's how you have to take it." - Pirates centerfielder Andrew McCutchen after the team lost game 5 of the NLDS

I know he's referring to a specific moment, but those are good words to live by, and something I think our increasingly entitled and overly demanding society needs to take to heart.

“I really don’t want to get into what Josh’s thoughts are about how things got out. I know what I’ve done, and I’m 100 percent comfortable with my behavior. One hundred percent.” - Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano on October 1st

Did anyone else notice in this statement, he never denies leaking information about Freeman, just that he's comfortable with his behavior. That surprises me little, since this is the same guy who is comfortable having his team bum rush a victory formation.

“Ed Reed. I was born to do this.” - Texans safety Ed Reed during the self-introductions on Sunday night’s NBC broadcast

That tells me one thing. That once he's too old, broken down and slow to play football anymore, he will have nothing more to contribute to the public and will become a blight and strain upon our society.

“If expanding the postseason would allow other teams to get into the dance, and they have the potential of going on and winning the Super Bowl. That’s a good thing for fans, that a good thing competitively.” - NFL commissioner Roger Goodell

And most importantly, its good for the bottom line.

“Never say never because then you become a hypocrite. I’ve seen too many other people in my profession say never and come back. Always keep doors open in life. That’s the important thing to do.” - CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher, to Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, on his self-imposed exile from coaching

I'm saying never. Because if he does return, it'll be George Seifert at the Panthers 2.0. And Cowher knows it.

“There is resistance out there. It’s called the other team.” - Broncos head coach John Fox on his teams seemingly slim victory over the winless Jacksonville Jaguars

Hee hee, he's almost as funny as his quarterback. I love it. Speaking of whom....

"Someone asked me, 'Is this like playing against Eli?' I said, 'I know Robert Mathis hits harder than Eli.' " - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning on his return to Indianapolis

Thank you, thank you, he'll be here all week folks.

Idiot of the Week

This week, the crown of idiot must be split thousands of ways, as the winner is all of us, the NFL fans.

Its obvious the more information that comes out about concussions leads us all closer to a point where we must all find some sort of peace and compromise regarding the game we love and the long term welfare of those who play it. It's a very gray area that is ever changing, ever evolving and is potentially years away from any concrete sort of resolution and solution. It's going to take some serious contemplation to reconcile enjoying the game of football while knowing what it can do to the participants. But I wonder if we'll ever be intelligent enough to make these contemplations?

See, we are idiots because we cannot even show simple human compassion when faced with the damage of football right in front of our eyes. Twice last week, fans watched a player fall to the turf injured. And both times the fans acted in completely callous and disgusting ways. Texans fans cheered Matt Schaub's injury because they have been unhappy with his play. And 49er fans did the Wave while waiting for medical personnel to safely transport Calais Campbell off the field. And sadly, these are not new, or uncommon, reactions.

What does this say about us as fans? Obviously nothing good. But if we take our fandom to such lengths that we cannot even show the simplest compassion for another human being, no matter how we may feel about them, then do we even deserve to have this entertainment medium presented to us? Will we ever be able to have a rational discourse regarding the future of football and the safety of its participants? Or are we merely just latter blood thirsty hordes, not dissimilar to those that once packed the Coliseum in Rome?

I would warn other fans to remember their history, and know that eventually Rome fell and the Empire was no more. Nothing says the same thing cannot happen to the NFL. In the meantime, NFL fans, we are all idiots.

On Tap This Week

Hey, it's rivalry week in the NFL! At least that's how it's being marketed. Funny how the NFL kicked college football's butt years ago, yet still regularly steals ideas from them. Bizarre. Anyway, how are we after Thursday...

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 60-33

Oooh, crossed the 60 point threshold. Look out first place, I'm on my way!

Sitting at home, wondering if they are rivals: New Orleans, Oakland

Sunday

New England (5-1) at New York Jets (3-3)

In anticipation of their AFC East showdown, Rex Ryan told his team to abstain from everything at home to save themselves for Sunday. Ryan gave his players a get out of chores free card. If this works, men everywhere will ask their bosses for the same excuse to take home to their wives tomorrow morning.

Patriots over Jets

Dallas (3-3) at Philadelphia (3-3)

Michael Vick ruled himself out for this NFC East showdown, thus leaving the fortunes of the Eagles in the hands of Nick "Napoleon Dynamite" Foles. While everyone is focusing on the thought that Vick may have made his last NFL start, I'm more curious about when Philadelphia will hire Uncle Rico as Foles quarterbacks coach.

Cowboys over Eagles

Tampa Bay (0-5) at Atlanta (1-4)

Believe it or not, Schiano has turned Tampa into an even bigger mess than he found it in. Perhaps Atlanta can use this to their advantage to try to salvage their season.

Falcons over Buccaneers

Cincinnati (4-2) at Detroit (4-2)

Yeah, I still have serious questions regarding Detroit, but considering what I've seen so far this season, I trust Andy Dalton far less than Detroit.

Lions over Bengals

St. Louis (3-3) over Carolina (2-3)

I have zero idea which version of either team will show up. This is a blind, in-the-dark coin flip. One thing I know for certain, I will choose poorly. Let's just get it over with.

Panthers over Rams

Chicago (4-2) at Washington (1-4)

RGIII revealed this week he tries to draw penalties by stopping close to the sidelines so defenders will commit and end up hitting him out of bounds. I must ask, Mike Shanahan do you really think this is a good practice to allow your multi million dollar franchise quarterback to continue? Shouldn't you step in and say stop it? And that's why you're about to be 1-5.

Bears over Snyders

Buffalo (2-4) at Miami (3-2)

Until I see E.J. Manual back under center, call me skeptical of Buffalo.

Dolphins over Bills

San Diego (3-3) at Jacksonville (0-6)

Even Phillip Rivers can't screw this up. Suddenly, the Chargers/Raiders game is flashing before my eyes. Why is that?

Chargers over Jaguars

San Francisco (4-2) at Tennessee (3-3)

There is speculation that the NFL may have figured out the game of Colin Kaepernick. I think the jury is still out on that assumption. But if it's proven true then Jim Harbaugh may have made one of the worst coaching decisions of all time. Especially considering Kansas City's season. In the mean time, Tennessee + Ryan Fitzpatrick - Jake Locker = Uh oh.

49ers over Titans

Cleveland (3-3) at Green Bay (3-2)

Who would have thought Brian Hoyer would be such a difference maker?

Packers over Browns

Baltimore (3-3) at Pittsburgh (1-4)

Yeah, neither team are world beaters this season. But that will mean very little. The intensity always ratchets up this week. And I like our chances against their questionable offensive line.

Steelers over Ravens

Houston (2-4) at Kansas City (6-0)

Houston is in a free fall that most likely will cost Gary Kubiak his job. And no amount of Case Keenum is going to save it now. And speaking of the rookie quarterback, who names their child Case? Must be a southern thing, like Drum.

Chiefs over Texans

Denver (6-0) at Indianapolis (4-2)

Peyton Manning's first return to the city and stadium in which he spent the majority of his NFL career and the hype has been as expected. I know Indianapolis has been quite successful this season dispatching top tier teams. But there's no way Manning will lose this game, especially since the Colts will honor him before kickoff.

New Peytons over Old Peytons

Monday

Minnesota (1-4) at New York Giants (0-6)

The G-Men signed Peyton Hillis to assist their decrepit running back corps and the Vikings will start Josh Freeman under center. Yeah, I think it's time Eli got off the schneid as well.

Giants over Vikings

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 7 Thursday Night Special Plus

With the frequency of a swarm of cicadas, please welcome to another addition of The Crystal Ball Thursday Night Special. What prompted this surprise installment? Was it a must watch game, a hilarious concept or Roger Goodell blowing smoke up our ass and telling us its perfume? Unfortunately no. Thanks to, well, poor planning we missed Week 6, so an oversized Thursday special in anticipation of Sunday’s return seemed appropriate. And necessary. Man, take your eyes off the NFL for one minute and all heck breaks loose.

Opening Kickoff

After only one weekend of games, the NFL dropped its usage of pink referee flags due to confusion by officials and players. And by this weekend, players, coaches and other NFL personnel will have dropped almost every other piece of pink apparel. Although to be honest, that was the fastest annual shedding of pink accoutrements I’ve seen yet.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Jacksonville Jaguar mascot had to pay off a bet recently, and got pelted with paintballs from a 10 yard distance. I hope all his future bets involve the Jaguars losing.

The NFL unveiled new Pro Bowl uniforms, replacing the ridiculous uniforms that looked like castoffs from the 1967 Pro Bowl with these beauties, that look like cast offs from the latest uniform design session for the Oregon Ducks.

Apparently, in the locker room immediately after he was injured, quarterback Mark Sanchez unloaded on the Jets general manager questioning why he was even in the game to risk injury that did occur. Mark, come now. It’s the only way Rex Ryan could get you out of the line up and save face. You have to know that by now, right?

A lifelong Bengals fan broke down in tears when his son presented him with tickets to his first ever Bengals game. I imagine that if he's a lifelong Bengals fan, he's probably used to breaking down in tears.

Mike Ditka for some oddball reason revealed he had the opportunity to run against Barack Obama for the Illinois Senate seat, and turned it down. Ditka feels he could have beaten the future president, and most likely radically changed the future political landscape of the country, and considers this his biggest regret. Don’t fret Iron Mike, there’s still time. After the last few weeks of Washington nonsense, I bet you could beat him now.

Deion Sanders was fired, and then re-hired the same day, from the Dallas-area charter school he helped form in the wake of Sanders allegedly assaulting the school’s chief financial officer. I wonder how much money it took that overhyped ass clown to shut everyone up and make this go away so fast…

Upon Further Review

Colts owner Jim Irsay has been all over the media this week and his main topic of conversation has been his former golden goose Peyton Manning. First Irsay gave extensive comments regarding how Manning urged the team to draft Andrew Luck. And from what we know of Manning, this seems like it could be a true comment. He would want to do what was best for the team and best to win. And for him, it would have been, and has been, best to leave and pursue one more ring elsewhere.

But then Irsay, who if you follow his Twitter feed is known to be a loose cannon, turn things up a notch. In an interview, Irsay said this about the direction his team took after the 2011 season:

“You make the playoffs 11 times, and you’re out in the first round seven out of 11 times. You love to have the Star Wars numbers from Peyton and Marvin (Harrison) and Reggie (Wayne). Mostly, you love this.”

This, at the end of that statement, is referring to Irsay's Super Bowl ring.

Now, it has been pointed out that Irsay was not specifically referring to Manning but more to the Colts post-Manning business model, or trying to denigrate him, or even saying something he hasn't said in the past. Irsay said a similar statement before the 2013 season began. And it has been supposed that Irsay is trying to get in Manning's head on the eve of a big game for both teams.

Whether Irsay was attempting gamesmanship or just awkwardly explaining his business position is a point of speculation. If he were blasting Manning, that would be pretty skeezy, especially considering he watches his Colts play in a fancy new dome thanks in no small part to the magic weaved by Manning, Harrison and Wayne. No matter the true intentions it stirred up a world of trouble.

Pretty much all of Denver exploded in righteous fury. Newly retired Colorado Rockie and Denver hero Todd Helton called Irsay an idiot. Apparently no one told Todd I'm the one who determines the idiots in the NFL. Broncos head coach John Fox called it, "a cheap shot". Headlines in Denver screamed in rage. Suddenly, there was bad blood brewing for this game.

And maybe it was inappropriate of Irsay to say such things considering all Manning has done for his organization through the years. And perhaps he did mean it innocently, and Irsay trying to explain why his team parted with its most beloved player got misconstrued. But let me ask you this. Is Irsay wrong?

Look at the facts. Manning has been in the NFL since 1998. After his first year, a rough 3-13 season, he has been steady, consistent and excellent, in the regular season. He has a good shot to surpass most significant quarterback records. He is perennially one of the best performers, most popular players and his work ethic, precision, perfectionism, and football acumen are legendary.

Yet, for all his wonderful talents, skill and drive, he chokes in the playoffs. We've all seen it. Right now Colts fans everywhere are nodding their heads in agreement. Bronco fans right now aren't sitting at home thinking, wow 6-0 is amazing, I hope he doesn't choke in the playoffs again. You know why they think that? Because they watched it happen for years in Indianapolis. They watched it happen on their own field against an over hyped Ravens team last season. Right now, Peyton Manning is Dan Marino who got lucky one season.

He has a playoff record of 9-11. 8 times he led a team to the playoffs, said team lost their only game. He made it to the Super Bowl twice, once losing to an inspired Saints team, insert your own bounty joke here, and winning once against a Bears team led by Rex Grossman. Plus, his record in weather below 40 degrees is awful, which does not bode well for January football.

While it's true Manning takes too much heat for his team's playoff failures, that's the unfortunate life of a quarterback. They get too much credit when times are good, and too much flack when things go sour. And be honest, you never see Peyton denying his accolades during his spectacular regular season successes.

And remember, Peyton has a tremendous amount of input into the offensive schemes his team runs, and they cater to his strengths. Those strengths are excellent at exploiting defenses during the regular season. But in the playoffs, the pressure ratchets up, the intensity increases and defenses key more on weaknesses. For the most part, Manning has not been able to adjust to these changes to achieve the same sustained success in the post season as he has enjoyed in the regular season.

Professional football is a team sport, but the position of quarterback increasingly transcends this belief. A team's quarterback is looked upon not merely as a leader and facilitator of the offense, but also as the face of the franchise, the ambassador of the team on and off the field, the lightning rod for his team, friend, mentor, disciplinarian and confidant to his teammates. It's more than just executing plays now, and that means being both the team's greatest weapon and it's number one scapegoat.

Peyton Manning is a special player who does amazing things on the football field. This season may be one of his all time best, which is saying something looking over his career. He is one of the best representatives the NFL could ever ask for and will be a first ballot Hall of Famer. I can guarantee that in 30 years, myself and the other old timers will weave tales to the young whippersnappers how they missed seeing one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time play. But in weaving those tales, we'll always add one caveat: If only he could have played better in the post season, he would have been the greatest of all time.

He Said He Said

“If I were the owner of the team and I knew that the name of my team, even if they’ve had a storied history, that was offending a sizable group of people, I’d think about changing it.” – President Barack Obama on the Washington Snyders

And If I were the President of the United States, and I knew the partisan bickering between political parties had brought upon a government shutdown that embarrassed the country and put people out of work, and said shutdown was merely a symptom of a much larger issue that includes no real government budget for several years, out of control spending and a new health care program that since its kickoff has been more buggy than a picnic in July, I'd think about focusing on the primary duties of my publicly elected job and not worry about the nicknames of privately owned professional sports teams.

“That is just tactless and tasteless. I was extremely heated at that. They have to go home and look at themselves in the mirror and if they were born to hurt a man, that’s fine. They can do what they do. The fans can get emotional. That is just not how I was brought up. That is not the kind of man I am. I’ve got to go home and raise a daughter, and teach her right from wrong. That is just not something you do. I don’t care how you feel about a man. You don’t kick him when he is down.” – Texans running back Arian Foster on fans cheering when quarterback Matt Schaub was injured

Increasingly, disturbingly, people show how callous, shallow, mean and ignorant they are more each day. This is merely the latest example. I fear where it may end.

“I want longevity in this field, and to have longevity, you can’t just be one of the rotating talking heads. Because if you are, when the next safety comes out with a good opinion, speaks well and has knowledge of the game, then you are out of there. Look at Mike Mayock. He grinded and worked his way into that position at the NFL Network to where he is basically irreplaceable.” – Steelers safety Ryan Clark in an article for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette detailing his future career in broadcasting. The article stated Clark DVRs everything he does and evaluates the performance later with his wife.

Good for Clark for thinking of the future, but it would be nice if he put this level of effort and focus into his current jobs as NFL SAFETY AND TEAM CAPTAIN.

“It is a results league and we're trying to stay away from that. Not that that's not important. It's very important to us, but we feel the quickest way to get there is our process." – Jaguars head coach Gus Bradley on working to achieve success with his in transition team

Yes a good process helps; better players do too.

“Exhilaratingly exasperating on defense. But the offense looks unstoppable.” – The MMQB’s Peter King on the Denver Peytons

Yeah, that formula usually peters out during the NFL Playoffs Divisional Round. Peyton should be familiar with the one and done scenario.

Idiot of Last Week

What, just because I missed a week I can’t back track to point out stupidity. How silly of you.

My Idiot of the Week, for last week, honors go out to Steeler safety, future broadcaster and all around me first guy Ryan Clark.

Clark is, for good and for ill, not known as a shy, introverted thinking man’s football player. That title is held by his backfield partner Troy Polamalu. Clark has, does, and will speak his mind, even if the thoughts are half baked.

First, Clark started in on his team’s post season future, stating the Steelers are not out of the post season, or division, hunt. Mind you, he stated this gem AFTER the team dropped to 0-4. Now, considering the state of the AFC North this season, Clark is not wrong. However, considering the level of play from Pittsburgh over those 4 games, the 4 preseason games before it and the last month of last season, it is, at minimum, a foolish statement to make.

Clark followed this up by dropping this bomb on ESPN during the bye week, where he was moonlighting for his future in broadcasting:

“You to have to protect Ben against Ben. Right now, we have to tone Ben down in a sense and say, ‘Hey, right now, we're not a good enough football team for you to try to extend plays, for us to take sacks, for us to have turnovers.”

Ignoring the fact that Clark, and his defense, at the time of these comments were giving up big plays at a prodigious rate, at that point in the season had not generated one single turnover and had made the likes of Jake Locker, Andy Dalton and Matt Cassel, who was just demoted to third string in Minnesota, look like world beaters. The last time I checked, Clark does not have the title of Quarterback Coach or Offensive Coordinator on his business cards.

Of course, Roethlisberger responded graciously stating he did need to work on turnovers and suspiciously did NOT say Clark and the defense needed generate a few of them. Although I think he should have called the blowhard pinhead out on the carpet.

Clark did receive backlash, and responded by saying basically, in the media you have to be brutally honest, even to the detriment your own team. Yes, this is true. You won’t go far without honesty, just ask Jerome Bettis.

But here’s the difference. None of the players on ESPN, NFL Network, NBC, CBS, Fox, Fox Sports or any other media outlet are currently playing in the NFL. It’s easy for them to be brutally honest about the state of their former team and teammates because they don’t have to walk into that locker room, look those guys in the eyes and ride with them on game day. That’s why players with an ounce of common sense, save that sort of commentary until after they have retired. Hell, even Merrill Hoge, one of the most objective and intelligent analysts in the game and one known not to play favorites, gives more credit to Roethlisberger. And its his JOB to evaluate players and teams. It felt more like Clark had an axe to grind against Roethlisberger than he was giving actual feedback.

This nonsense only created additional tension and friction in a locker room that’s already fractured due to a 4 game losing streak and ridiculous veterans only policy on playing locker room gaming tables that was established in part by Clark himself. Head coach Mike Tomlin eventually pulled the plug on all games, but not before this policy created a young players vs. veteran divide that provided who knows how much animosity still floating around the locker room.

And remember, Clark is doing all this wearing the C of team captain on his uniform. You can’t buy this level of leadership outside of a 99¢ Store.

And while it may seem that Clark exonerated himself by nabbing the team’s first interception of the season, and came darn close to hawking their third, that’s not how this works.

So for throwing your two time Super Bowl winning quarterback under the bus, putting your future ahead of your present, treating the future of your team like second class citizens and being removed from all reality, Ryan Clark you are an idiot.

On Tap Tonight

Well, let’s catch up and see if I can get my math right before Sunday. How’d I do last week….

Last week: 10-5

Season to Date: 59-33

Eh, not too shabby, and not to bad overall. Hovering right near the top, ready to strike. Just like Jacksonville’s draft hopes.

Thursday

Seattle (5-1) at Arizona (3-3)

What does it say about this Seattle team where they can go on the road, make numerous boneheaded blunders, play an offensively meh game and still overcome all of that to pull out a victory? Seattle barely beat Tennessee last week, yet the Seahawk defense pitched a shutout. That says everything, and Bruce Arians will find this out first hand tonight.

Seahawks over Cardinals