The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 4

The NFL released a list of the all time toughest players. Boy there’s a lot of Steelers on this list. I wonder if any of them are busy this fall….

Opening Kickoff

Color me a big Austen Lane fan. His first hand NFL experiences and writing style really draw you into his articles and make you root for him. Personally I hope it’s my team giving him a tryout! While I tend to feel The MMQB was born to satiate Peter King’s ego (I want my own website just like Bill Simmons!), one of the best parts is that the site does provide a forum for great stories like this that get washed away in the flood of NFL news. Come on King, time to up the ante. 

Where’s my regular Chris Kluwe column?

The Way It Was

Line up members of the 0-3 club. I’m talking to you Steelers, Giants, Snyders, Jaguars, Vikings and Buccaneers. At least we’re not alone on this boat of ineptitude. Hey, this could be fun!

But seriously, 38-0 New York? At least the other 0-3 clubs showed some fight. What the heck was that?

See, what did I, and everyone else, say? Cleveland would fall apart without Trent Richa….wait what? They won?? In Minnesota??? Ummm….Well, maybe Trent Richardson was the problem. Or Brandon Weeden. Either way, I'm now officially scared to play Cleveland.

Hmmm, maybe the Seattle hangover did affect 49ers. At least for one week. Thanks a bunch, Rams.

Things got kinda bad for the 49ers when star running back ripped into head coach Jim Harbaugh in frustration during the Colts debacle. I agree with Gore, he should have the ball more. If Harbaugh was smart and gave Gore the ball more in February, they all might be wearing Super Bowl rings. But I digress.

You know what the problem with Colin Kaepernick is? It’s not that defenses have figured him out, although they have, it’s this new beard. It’s weighing him down. He needs to shave to be sleek, fast and be able to flash that winning smile. Come on Colin, pick up a razor for your team’s sake!

I knew there was more to the Von Miller story than what was being publicized, and I was right. It turns out Miller tried to cheat on his drug test. See, this is the kind of distraction that could come back to haunt a presumptive Super Bowl team at the wrong time.

Jets rookie Sheldon Richardson celebrated too soon, allowing Bills running back Fred Jackson to tear past him for a huge game. It is unconfirmed that Jackson shouted “Bazinga” as he sped past Richardson.

Speaking of the Jets, they had 18 accepted penalties against them in this game. I’d blast them for sloppy play, but I think I need to focus on Buffalo. Hey, Bills, your opponent had 18 penalties. How did you lose?

A frustrated Aaron Rodgers went at it with head coach Mike McCarthy on Sunday. Seems there is a trend of talented, franchise quarterbacks blowing up at their coach recently. Ph please let Big Ben's blowup on Haley be imminent, please let it be imminent, please let it be imminent….

And finally, Cardinals safety Rashad Johnson took is gloves off after the game to find that part of his finger stayed in one of them! The tip of his finger was severed during a punt return, and Johnson just played the remainder of the game in pain, not knowing the severity of the injury. Johnson wins for manliest player of the week, hands down and fingers off!

The Steel Pit

Steelers 23 - Bears 40

I have only 4 comments on the game.

1)   I certainly hope that when Chicago's defense was on the field, the Steeler defense paid attention. 5 turnovers forced, two of which were immediately returned for touchdowns. THAT is what a good defense does, and what this defense used to do.

2)   I hope the Steeler offense was paying attention to Chicago’s offensive unit. Efficient, devastating, and they protected their quarterback. Yeesh.

3)  Either Ben has lost his depth perception or his receivers have no idea where their routes should lead. Man was he over and under throwing everyone. And on that note, come on Big Douche, you can hold onto the ball better than that. Although I must say, Roethlisberger does a mean Eli Manning impression.

4)   3^rd and 10 Cutler scrambles for a first down? Really defense?

In other Steeler news, the team departed this week for jolly ol’ London, where they will take on the Minnesota Vikings in the first of two games to be staged this season in England. I know Roger Goodell is desperately trying to hard sell England and Europe on NFL football, and I applaud his tenacity to make a buck. But if he’s ever going to get soccer loving fans to adopt American football, he’s got to send over better representatives than this.

This tidbit crossed my eyes this week. Of the 41 NFL seasons that have come and gone since the Immaculate Reception, only 7 have been losing seasons for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Wow. And when I think about it, 8 have lead to Super Bowl appearances, with 6 culminating in wins. So yes, I need to, what’s the word, find a bit of perspective. Losing happens. Luckily, not often for the Steelers.

And finally, have you heard the life story of new Steelers punter Zoltan Mesko? It’s amazing. He started off life as a small child in war torn Romania. His family managed to escape to America only to end up in Cleveland, not unlike a war torn area. His only glimmer of hope in life was Pittsburgh, a city enveloped in hills much like his dreams of America, and their football team the Steelers. Eventually, he achieved the dream of many, and made it to the NFL, but it was to play for the evil Patriots, who chucked him like last weeks bagels when they were done with him. Finally, finally he lands with the team he grew up rooting for, the Pittsburgh Steelers and moves to his childhood utopia, Pittsburgh. He comes to his dream city at the same time when the name Zoltan is so meaningful to the next door neighbor Pittsburgh Pirates. If anyone can handle the adversity in a losing season, and see the potential for a brighter tomorrow, it’s this cat.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Wembley Stadium has decided that they want an NFL team and they want to host a Super Bowl. Considering the tepid reaction to this week’s game, perhaps stadium illuminati may want to make a firm decision AFTER they see this week’s product.

Former Washington Snyder Fred Smoot blasted the team, calling RGIII a brat and questioning head coach Mike Shanahan, referring to him as “red lobster”. That’s too funny, I can’t top that. Moving on…

Violence is the word of the day around the NFL. Former Eagle Hugh Douglas was arrested for assaulting a woman. Douglas seemed rather unconcerned the evening following his arrest. A class act right there.

In San Francisco, fan violence at games is occurring, and appears to be a regular occurrence and growing concern. I’m all for getting in a big lather regarding your team’s rivals, but there needs to be a line between healthy expression of dislike and violence. Oh, there’s the line. It’s called less alcohol at games.

Those left a bad taste in my mouth. I need something to cheer me up. Wait, hold on, what’s this…

Recuperating Ravens receiver Jacoby Jones got into an incident last weekend on a party bus which culminated in, according to some reports, Jones being clocked on the head by a champagne bottle wielded by a stripper named Sweet Pea. 

So Greg Schiano decided to bench quarterback Josh Freeman this week in favor of an untested rookie, one week BEFORE the team's bye week and on the same weekend that the Buccaneer game tickets feature Freeman. I said it before, and someone else thinks so too. Schiano is working his way toward the unemployment line.

The gentleman who streaked a Browns preseason game has been punished, with his penance including a fine, forced to clean up after Browns games and a permanent ban from all Browns games. Wait, I thought this was a punishment.

Upon Further Review

Falcons receiver Roddy White took offense to the ESPN crew and their commentary regarding his troubled friend Aldon Smith. White in an attempt to defend Smith took to social media and proceeded to get into a Twitter war, I can’t believe I just typed those two words together, with Cris Carter. 

White’s defense of Smith boiled down to shameful finger pointing, claiming it was wrong for Carter and Keyshawn Johnson to judge Smith as everyone has driven drunk, including them. Putting aside the tremendous ignorance and dangerousness of that defense, White made himself look even stupider as he was unaware of Carter’s history of substance abuse and addiction. Carter then proceeded to school White, who eventually apologized to the retired receiver. 

White's actions shed light on one of the many issues that arise with social media. Through social media outlets, anyone is free to share their opinions, thoughts, insults and complaints to the world instantaneously regardless of facts, a full story, a well thought out commentary or the slightest bit of concern regarding the impact of their words, who they may hurt or what they might ultimately mean. Commentary and conversation through social media is becoming flippant and unintentionally derogatory, and I believe it's because we have no human being filter. 

The human being filter comes with actual social contact, between humans in a social setting. When you see another person in front of you, you remember they have thoughts, feelings, family and friends just like you do. You remember they have opinions, likes, dislikes and causes that are important to them, much like yours are to you. And ultimately, you remember that how you want to be treated by others, and proceed to treat this human in front of you in like fashion. When we find ourselves face to face with actual people, we remember to engage and utilize compassion and empathy.

But when you are disconnected from human contact, that vital piece of the human experience disappears. On social media, it’s just words on a screen. The human connection to those words loses its meaning.

White forgot that, or it never registered to him. So when he blasted Johnson and Carter, thinking he was sticking up for his friend, he also struck a nerve with Carter who knows a lot more about addiction and substance abuse problems from his own experiences than White.

If White and Carter had been discussing this face to face, it may have been a different conversation, but it happened over social media. Increasingly, without a human being right in front of you, people are losing the good sense they once had to pause first and question how their words will impact the person with whom they are speaking.

White has every right to stick up for his friend, but he should have thought first how he did it, and listened to the words and advice Carter, who has lived addiction, was trying to put forth to Smith. Like everything in life, it’s not always what you say or do, but how you say or do them where trouble lies.

He Said He Said

"We can't, I can't, turn the ball over, plain and simple." – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger 

 Well duh.

“No. I think they were good plays. I looked at them. I watched them again. They're going to happen. I've just to make sure I hold onto it.” – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger on potentially changing his own stance toward ball security after turning the ball over 5 times

Wait, I thought you said you can’t turn the ball over. How is not changing your approach going to fix that? He’s as thick headed as Tomlin.

"That's what we do, we take the ball away," Peppers said. "We stress it in practice every day, and it carries over to the game. We have to continue to do that on a weekly basis to continue to win, and I believe we'll be able to do that." – Bears defensive end Julius Peppers

Wait, slow down Julius, I’m taking notes. …on a weekly basis…This is good stuff.

“We’ve got great players here too. It’s so week to week in this league. You just never know. But we’ve got enough good players to play with anyone.’’ – Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis after his team defeated the favored, and much ballyhooed, Packers

Slow your roll there Marvin. Win a playoff game, then we can discuss this “great player” classification you’re using so freely.

“Aldon Smith was arrested at 7 a.m., one hour AFTER Kaepernick starts work.” - Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News

Wow, that Colin, so dedicated. Big whoop Tim, lots of people go to work at 6 a.m. You’re either trying to show Colin’s a hard worker, which if you are you’re showing up hard working people who start at the crack of dawn every day, or you’re trying to make a joke about Smith’s condition at an early time of day, which is disrespectful of the gravity of the situation and not funny. So which is it funny man?

“This is insanity … Embarrassing. I’ve never seen a Giants’ offensive line so bad.” - Former Giants linebacker Carl Banks

Good thing he wasn’t watching the Steelers game too. *Shudder*

“I believe the safest pick in the draft, beyond Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III, is Alabama running back Trent Richardson. He’s a blue-chip player and has all the skills to quickly establish himself as a top-five player at his position. Forget the nonsense about not taking backs early; everyone would love the chance to get this guy.” – Browns general manager Mike Lombardi, writing on NFL.com on April 23, 2012, three days before Richardson was drafted by the Browns.

Ok, then why did you trade him two games into the season Mike? Is there something you’re not telling us?

"All summer long we heard, 'Week One, Week One, I'm all in. I'm going to be back.' So the pressure is on the young man to put himself back on to the football field. The adults in the room have got to stand up. I don't think Coach Shanahan, Dan Snyder or Dr. James Andrews have handled this perfectly. They screwed it up at the end of last year in the playoff game. He shouldn't have played against Seattle, and also here." - NFL Today analyst Boomer Esiason on RGIII's recovery

The further away we get from Denver's back to back Super Bowl wins, the more we realize how it was far more Elway and Davis and a lot less Shanahan that made that magic happen.

"I played with a guy in John Elway who was every bit of Tom Brady's equal in his prime, and he never disrespected me and showed that kind of outward emotion even when I ran the wrong route and missed blocks and got sacked. There is a right and wrong way to handle everything. And that is clearly the wrong way." - NFL Today analyst Shannon Sharpe on Patriots quarterback Tom Brady

"I thought that Tom Brady's behavior was deplorable. If he didn't have three Super Bowl rings and wasn't a future first-ballot Hall of Famer, none of us would feel comfortable with what we saw." - ESPN analyst Tom Jackson on Brady

What, you guys are just now figuring out Brady's a colossal tool bag? I've been pointing that out for years.

Idiot of the Week

This week’s idiot are the obvious, 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and team president Ted York. York and Harbaugh erred on the side of douchebaggery when instead of immediately seeking help for their troubled defensive star, or possibly punishing him to show him his self destructive behavior will enact consequences to his livelihood, they just sobered the kid up, and put him into Sunday’s game and then afterward figured out about getting the kid treatment.

York, Harbaugh and the 49ers organization have been rightfully, and thoroughly, raked over the coals for this one. But one quote stood out to me, from Ted York.

“Sitting somebody down and paying them to sit down when they’re going to seek treatment in the future, that didn’t seem like an appropriate punishment.”

Then what is appropriate punishment Ted? A massage and back rub with a firm scolding afterwards? A literal slap on the wrist while eliciting a pinky swear to never do it again? Smith has problems that need to be dealt with before he hurts himself or someone else. Allowing him to play only reinforces his bad behavior.

But hey, one game isn’t gonna hurt, now is it? Sure, don't worry about the message it sends to the public about your lackadaisical stance on drinking and driving, or how you feel about public safety, or even about the well being and mental health of a troubled young man who has obvious substance abuse issues. As long there are football games to win, all hands on deck, no matter if they’re shaking from the DTs.

I thought it when they traded away Alex Smith and I think it again now. Idiots.

On Tap This Week

Well, here we are, Week 4. Now for the next week we get to hear one of my least favorite phrases, the quarter pole. As in “let’s get to the predictions and team analysis at the quarter pole of the season”. This is football people, not horse racing. And these are not horses, they are men, playing a children’s game for lots of money while wearing plastic helmets and pads, and painting their faces and wearing bright colors and jumping up and down. Please show the proper decorum and respect.

Last week: 6-9

Thursday: 0-1

Season to Date: 30-19

See, I blew it last week, and then in an effort to fix the problem, I over corrected and got too cute on Thursday and just exasperated the losing. Some weeks, man, some weeks.

Sitting at home, wondering why they have a week off before October hits: Carolina, Green Bay

Sunday

Baltimore (2-1) at Buffalo (1-2)

I really want to take Buffalo, especially since I do dig EJ Manual, I just want to see the team finally improve, and I need someone to stick it to the wildly overrated Ravens. But I don't think the boys from Buffalo are quite ready yet.

Ravens over Bills

Cincinnati (2-1) at Cleveland (1-2)

I liked Cincinnati coming back from 16 points down to pull off a win against a good Packers team, of course that's tempered by them giving up 30 points go get behind. If Cleveland pulls this off, I will officially believe in the Brian Hoyer era. But not yet.

Bengals over Browns

Chicago (3-0) at Detroit (2-1)

Yeah, Chicago's defense is something else. But Pittsburgh did lend them an assist or 5. I still don't trust Detroit, especially now that they lost Nate Burleson to a violent pizza box collision. But I think Chicago is due to screw up.

Lions over Bears

Seattle (3-0) at Houston (2-1)

Until they show me different, I'm going with Seattle from here on out no matter who or where they play. That defense is wicked.

Seahawks over Texans

Indianapolis (2-1) at Jacksonville (0-3)

Desperate for fans to fill the stadium, Jacksonville team officials are now offering two free beers with the purchase of a ticket over a certain price point. One, it's gonna take more than 2 free beers. Two, you might as well open it to all tickets. And three, how is this a better promotion to bring in the fans than signing Tebow?

Colts over Jaguars

New York Giants (0-3) at Kansas City (3-0)

Yeah, I smell trap game too. But New York's offensive line is the only one in the league worse than Pittsburgh's, so you know it stinks. And last week the team just gave up in Carolina. So I'm gonna go with Papa Andy's gang again.

Chiefs over Giants

Pittsburgh (0-3) “at” Minnesota (0-3)

London baby! Minnesota will start Matt Cassel at quarterback over Christian Ponder, who is suffering from fractured ribs. The team doesn't want Ponder to take a hit. I don't know what the problem is, if Minnesota watched any Pittsburgh game this year, they should know the Steeler defense never touches the opposing quarterback. (cue drum rim shot)

I wonder, if during the post game handshakes, if Matt Cassel will lean into Ben Roethlisberger and just whisper in his hear, I'm so sorry I know what you're going through. I bet he does.

Steelers over Vikings

Arizona (1-2) at Tampa Bay (0-3)

Let's see, Tampa Bay will start a rookie quarterback, the team is close to open mutiny against their head coach and their season is slipping away. Bruce Arians lucked into just the right time to take a road trip to Tampa.

Cardinals over Buccaneers

New York Jets (2-1) at Tennessee (2-1)

Apparently, the Jets use pushups as motivation to avoid penalties. If someone makes a mistake, everyone else must pay for it with push ups. First off, I bet there were a ton of push ups on Monday morning last week. And secondly, this sounds just like Gomer Pyle eating the donut in Full Metal Jacket. While it lead to motivation, it ended very poorly for the drill sergeant. You might wanna rethink this methodology, Rex.

Titans over Jets

Philadelphia (1-2) at Denver (3-0)

See Seahawks entry and replace the word Seattle with Denver with this caveat. I stop picking Denver in Week 15-17 and for all playoff rounds. Oh come on, you know Peyton's track record too.

Broncos over Eagles

Washington (0-3) at Oakland (1-2)

Washington looks like a hot mess, but Oakland may be under fire for not properly treating their young quarterback for a concussion, and may even be without is services. This is the Red Lobster's best chance to nab the first win of the season.

Snyders over Raiders

Dallas (2-1) at San Diego (1-2)

Honestly, I have no good reason for this pick. Neither team thrills me, and I don't feel either is dominant. Dallas only leads the NFC East by default. Call it home field advantage I guess.

Chargers over Cowboys

New England (3-0) at Atlanta (1-2)

You thought Tom Brady flipped out at his inferior receiving corps before, just wait until after this game. I bet even Giselle gets involved.

Falcons over Patriots

Monday

Miami (3-0) at New Orleans (3-0)

Wow, color ESPN lucky getting a match up of undefeated teams. Watch, it'll be a low scoring snoozefest.

Saints over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 3

Andy Reid had a big night in his return to Philadelphia, leading his Chiefs to an impressive win over his former team. Eagle fans also made Reid feel right at home, breaking out into a huge brawl in the stands during the game. The only thing missing was Reid botching clock management in the final minutes of the game, and it would have been just like old times.

Opening Kickoff

Man, come on ESPN, how can there be anything about the Manning family we don't already know? At least in this special, will we get to see Cooper Manning, the Chuck Cunningham of the NFL?

The Way It Was

Maybe if Tony Romo learned when to get rid of the ball, he wouldn't have broken ribs.

I love this frisky KC team and the love Alex Smith is finally getting. Maybe Andy Reid finally found his perfect scheme quarterback.

I have to say it. Andy Reid wearing black pants, a red Chiefs polo shirt and red Chiefs hat looks like a pizza delivery man. Sorry Andy, but you do.

What the deuce was that end game play calling by Dallas? Seriously? That was your solution when down by 1 point with no time outs and 16 seconds left, a short pass up the middle?

RGIII looks like he doesn't trust his leg yet, either to throw or run. And that's where no preseason experience gets you kids.

Was anyone else rooting for Browns kicker Billy Cundiff to kick Cleveland to victory in Baltimore, and send Ravens fans into a mind numbing tizzy?

And tell me how pathetic Baltimore is to not be able to take a lead, at home, against the Browns, until past midway through the 3rd quarter? Anyone else think the Ravens could have spent their money better than giving it all to Joe Flacco?

So much for all that talk after Week 1 about Chip Kelly's amazing offense. It's a shame a defense doesn't come with it.

Here's me, crossing my fingers, that Tennessee might be sneaky good this season. Or Houston and Pittsburgh just crapped the bed in successive weeks.

Color me a budding EJ Manual fan. If only because downtrodden Bills fans have been so patient for so long. Sorry Browns fans, but after the Richardson trade, I question whether there is any hope left for you.

What was with that strange whistle during the 49ers/Seahawks game that blew up a Seattle punt? If that came from the 49ers sidelines, and I wouldn't put it past Jim Harbaugh, perhaps they should have blown it a few times in the second half. It might have helped.

The NFL fined Bernard Pollard for his dangerous hit on Andre Johnson. Boy, Patriots fans have been screaming since 2008 for the NFL to start going after Pollard.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 10 - Bengals 20

And for the second week in a row, Pittsburgh rolled out an inept offense incapable of scoring points and a defense incapable of stopping the run, forcing a turnover or sacking a quarterback.

After two weeks of looking terrible, the team is already starting to come apart at the seams. Veterans are holding player only meetings, banning younger players from locker room games, press is reporting the team is in total panic mode, and apparently Todd Haley and Antonio Brown are fighting on the sidelines.

About the only good things to come out of Monday night were no season ending injuries and James Harrison had absolutely zero impact on the outcome of the game. So that's something.

After the game, I had a few questions and issues that left me confounded and wondering exactly who is in charge at Steelers headquarters and what exactly they're doing.

In Week 1, Todd Haley screwed up a play call, sent in the wrong personnel package and allowed the play to go forward. The result was a Steeler fumble in their own red zone and a turnover. In Week 2, Haley did the same thing, with the only exception being Roethlisberger called timeout before the play had to be run. This is basic play calling that every team should be proficient in before the start of the season. That a mistake of this magnitude was made in Week 1 is ridiculous; that it happened in Week 2 is inexcusable.

The team blamed the Week 1 loss on losing center Maurkice Pouncey. When Pouncey went down, that destabilized the offensive line, limiting what Haley could do. When Kelvin Beachum was forced to go in at center, that further limited the offense, since Todd Haley had some tight end packages installed for Beachum that would have expanded the offense and helped make up for the lack of Heath Miller. In Week 2, the team installed newly signed Fernando Velasco at center, freeing Beachum. If these tight end plays were so important in Week 1, why were they essentially ignored in Week 2?

Tomlin said the team needs to go to work. Well, what were you doing since January? How can a team look this out of sorts? Don't give me limited practices due to the CBA either. Every team has the same amount of practice time, and Denver certainly doesn't look like they assembled their team the day before the game.

Until Tomlin stands up and takes charge of the team, things are only going to get worse.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

And for the umpteenth time since 1995, the NFL is teasing Los Angeles with hopes and dreams of a potential team. Yeah right. The Pittsburgh Pirates will have a winning season before LA gets a football team! Oh, wait a minute...

Trading Trent Richardson was too much for this Browns fan, who is now auctioning off his allegiance to the highest bidding fan base. If the Ravens should win, oh the irony.

Jaguar fans held a rally at the stadium to convince the team to sign Tim Tebow. Unless Jaguar management has some convoluted plan to get out of their stadium lease, a la Rachel Phelps in Major League, I can't figure out why they'd be resistant. Tebow would delight the fan base, sell tickets, and there's no way he'd be worse than Blaine Gabbert and Chad Henne.

Security at Arrowhead Stadium had to taser a rowdy Chiefs fan. Boy, put a competent team on the field and these fans don't know what to do with themselves.

According to Browns defenders, Ravens running back Ray Rice spit on defensive tackle Phil Taylor during a confrontation after a play. Phil, just be glad it wasn't Ray Lewis, his angry reaction is far worse than a little spit.

How about a little bit of happy news? Bears defensive back Charles Tillman leapt into action and pulled reporter Laura Okmin out of the way of a camera dolly before she was run over. Good job Charles, but Laura you need to be more observant on the sidelines, especially that's part of reporting. Might want to bring that up in her next performance review.

And to close, Steelers safety Troy Polamalu will cut his famous mane, his first haircut in 10 years, to support the VFW and their Mane Event scheduled for Veterans Day. This is a great way to help out our veterans. Help Troy help our vets.

Upon Further Review

The definition of insanity is doing the same tasks repeatedly in hopes of a different result. By this metric, I have determined that Todd Haley and Dick LeBeau are insane.

Haley put forth a classically inept performance on Monday night, calling every play that will not work. He kept calling running plays between the tackles despite the fact that he has an inexperienced offensive line, with a brand new center, and his running backs are either on their last chance (Jones) hurt (Stephens-Howling, Bell) or not worth the jersey they wear (Redman, Dwyer). I will give Jones this, he seemed to have a modicum of impact on the game. But Haley kept insisting on finding a running back in Isaac Redman that just does not exist.

Haley also continued to run the ridiculous screens to the outside, all of which take about 10 minutes to develop, and are reliant on blocking from running backs and tight ends who couldn't block a pillow successfully. To the surprise of no one not named Todd, almost every single screen blew up for a loss.

On the rare occasion Haley would unleash Roethlisberger to pass, his deep threat was 5 foot nothing, stone handed Emmanuel Sanders. It's clear he relishes being the new Mike Wallace, because he's picked up dropping passes right where Wallace dropped off.

And the worst is, he kept doing these things, over and over and over again, despite the obvious evidence that none of it worked.

But they are not the only ones to blame, the defense in my opinion is just as responsible for this pathetic start as the offense. I know, in Pittsburgh it's almost sacrilege to question LeBeau or knock on the defense. But Cincinnati had 407 yards of offense, and held the ball for over 35 minutes. So I dare question.

You can complain about the anemic offense all you like, and I will just like everyone else. But the defense must be held accountable too. While it's the offense's responsibility to stay on the field, it's the defense's responsibility to get off the field and put the offense back into action. Pittsburgh's defense is failing miserably at this task.

The defense has lost the time of possession battle for two straight games, being on the field for over 32 minutes each game. They have amassed a total of 1 turnover and 1 sack in two games, pathetic numbers for a defense that was once known for its abilities to blow up plays and take away the ball.

But sometimes within insanity, genius can be found. So what can be done about this situation at this critical juncture of the season? Some things are beyond control. There's no way to fix the personnel issues. Pittsburgh unfortunately are now, hopefully, realizing they have put the wrong personnel around Roethlisberger to take advantage of the quarterback's talents. Fingers crossed that gets resolved starting in April. And the inexperience issues will only be solved with time. As for the questions around the offensive line, now is the time to find out who wants to play, who just wants to get paid and who will be nothing more than road kill. After the season, keep the first group and dump the rest.

Now, for what can be fixed. On offense, Haley needs to let Ben and the offense go into no huddle mode more often. Ben is at his best when he's allowed to freelance and improvise. No one in the NFL does this better, and no one can get more out of less while running for his life. I know this short pass offense was installed to keep Ben upright, but from what I'm seeing, he's getting hit as much as he used to with far more pathetic results.

In addition, when Haley calls plays, he needs to call ones that cater to the personnel he DOES have, not the ones he needs. Tailor the game plan to maximize the talent, no matter how little, is on the field. That will be an understandable challenge, but that's why Haley gets paid the big bucks.

Next, install Felix Jones as the number one back until Le'Veon Bell is healthy, and keep Dwyer and Redman around only for oh shit scenarios. They're useless, obviously. Jones may be too, but I need to see more before I can judge him as such. Then, enough sending Sanders deep. If you want to run deep patterns, and I think this team should, then start sending out rookie speedster Markus Wheaton and the tall, rangy Derek Moye. They will give you faster, taller options down the field. Yes both are inexperienced, but neither could be worse than Sanders and Cotchery deep. As for Jericho Cotchery, he needs to be your short to intermediate receiving option only, filling in the role of a decent tight end. At least until Heath Miller returns.

On defense, the scheme must be adjusted to cover the middle more effectively. Jay Gruden abused that area, and every catch showed no one in a 10 yard vicinity of any receiver, be it back out of the backfield or a releasing tight end, that made a successful transition.

Two, dial up the pressure. There is no committed pass rush because LeBeau is seemingly trying to protect and cover for a questionable defensive back corps. It's not working, it has to work the other way now. The front 7 have to get pressure and disrupt the passing game and start clogging holes.

Third, force a turnover. I know, that's easier said than done. But this defense seems almost allergic to going after the ball and creating opportunities to shut down the opposing offense. They will get a lesson on how to do that this week, as Chicago's defense is quite good at it.

And that brings us to my fourth point. There needs to be 6 men in the box at a minimum at all times. Opponent running games are just gobbling up large swatches of yardage, especially in the latter stages of the game. This is due to the defense being on the field for almost two thirds of the game and tiring out. So far this season both opponents have run over 30 times against the Steeler defense. Why? Because its working.

I don't know if any of these fixes will help, as the lack of talent and experience pervading both sides of the ball is at times staggering. But something has to be done, or the consensus opinion of a 7-9 finish will seem like a wonderful pipe dream. Hopefully, somewhere in this insanity, some genius can be found.

He Said He Said

“We expect him to work fully this week and see where that participation takes us. Now, make no mistake, we're not expecting Heath to step out of a phone booth with a cape on.” - Steelers head coach on tight end Heath Miller

Even with his team actively imploding, and his head second in line behind Haley's for the chopping block, Tomlin can still drop an amazing quote. That is dedication right there kids.

"Oh, we beat the piss out of them. We did. I truly believe that … We outhit them. We did some good things, we did some really good things. We'll see them. We're going to see them again, I'll promise you that. We know they're in the division and we're going to play them again at home. And hopefully it goes further than that." - Titans safety Bernard Pollard on Houston

If I were Matt Schaub, I'd be scared right now. Just ask Tom Brady

"People, I believe, are getting this wrong, about Schiano having it in for Freeman. He doesn’t. Schiano’s a performance guy. When you lose seven of eight and oversleep for the team photo after a so-so offseason, Schiano’s not going to be a fan. Has nothing to do with a personality conflict. It’s a performance conflict." - The MMQB's Peter King

Good point Peter, but if Schiano is not putting forth an offensive game plan that plays to Freeman's strengths or supporting Freeman, then the quarterback's performance will suffer and Schiano will have his "performance" based reasons to rid himself of a quarterback he obviously no longer wants. It would seem to me that Greg Schiano is fast tracking himself toward the unemployment line with his poor player management, undisciplined team and losing ways.

"I told him good job, good game, but he didn't give me nothing back. I guess sportsmanship doesn't go both ways." - Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman on 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh

Wait, Jim Harbaugh is a bad sport and a sore loser? Well color me shocked.

"It's tied! The game is tied! The Bills have tied the game!" - Bills play-by-play announcer John Murphy after Buffalo kicked an extra point to take a one point lead

Ummm, John? I know the moment was exciting and all, but you might want to keep a calculator handy.

 “I don't think it's sustainable in the big picture. I think it's an awesome weapon.....If you're leaning on it heavily, obviously, I think it's going to be exposed in some form or fashion.” - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on utilizing Pittsburgh's hurry up offense

Mike, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the rest of your offense is exposed as a liability. Exposing any hurry up offense weaknesses are not going to make the situation worse at this point.

Idiot of the Week

Oh jeez, I'm not sure what was more coveted this week, the winning Powerball ticket or the crown of Idiot of the Week. The competition for both was so fierce, I'd have to call it a tie.

Our second runner up is Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. Romo has been a starting quarterback in the NFL for 7 years now, and he still seems as clueless about pocket and clock awareness as a rookie from Division III. Romo got crushed by the Kansas City defensive rush and never saw it coming. At the end of the game, instead of spiking the ball to stop the clock, he tried to do a shotgun formation and time ran out before he even got himself into position. These are basic tenants of being a starting NFL quarterback. I don't know what's more confusing, that he has yet to learn these things or that the Cowboys keeps sticking with him.

Our first runner up goes to Pittsburgh Steeler veterans, who in some misguided attempt to stop the bleeding that is an 0-2 start, banned younger players from playing pool, ping pong and other locker room games. That's just sad. This is the kind of nonsense that bad teams engage in, and I say that knowing full well what that statement implies.

But the winner, hands down, is the Cleveland Browns, who traded Trent Richardson, their first string running back, best offensive weapon and 2012 first round draft pick, to Indianapolis for their 2014 first round pick.

Now, I get it. Cleveland knows they're not going anywhere, and they know they need to plan for the future. Next year's draft looks to be top heavy, so 2 first round picks would be great. And right now, there's no guarantee Richardson will be a franchise back on the caliber of Adrian Peterson. But none of this makes sense.

To draft Richardson, they traded up one spot in the draft with Minnesota, giving up a fourth, fifth and seventh round draft picks. So essentially, to send Richardson to Indianapolis, the Browns traded the number 3 overall pick and fourth, fifth and seventh round draft picks for a first round pick next year that most likely will be in the 20s. How is that good business sense in any way?

In addition, by getting rid of Richardson they torpedoed this season. Not that it would have been a good season, but now there is no question they will lose and lose often. By trading Richardson, they've let their fans know the team has given up on 2013. So why should the fans bother to come out? Right now, they have blown up their stadium revenue streams from tickets, concessions, parking, souvenirs and other ancillary sales. Not only have they crippled their team competitively, they've crippled themselves financially.

And lastly, they've destroyed any remaining trust they had with an already exasperated fan base. Browns fans are the very definition of long suffering. Since losing the team to Baltimore, they have had one season they could classify as successful. The string of bad draft picks and worse head coaches is a cautionary tale of bad team management. Last year, when Jimmy Haslam bought the team he brought with him hope, that included drafting Richardson and having a plan to turn the team around. Now Richardson is gone, Haslam is entrenched in a legal battle with his truck stop business that could severely impact Browns ownership, and the plan no longer makes sense.

So Cleveland, for tanking your season, showing no front office management intelligence, jumping from rebuilding plan to plan with no rhyme or reason, destroying your revenue streams and crushing your fans once again, you are Idiots.

Here I am all worked up because Pittsburgh's working on their first losing season in 10 years. I need to keep perspective and remember it could be worse. I could be a Browns fan.

On Tap This Week

Man, unlike the Steelers, I've started 2013 on fire!

Last week: 12-3

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 24-9

I've never jumped out of the gate this strong. I must be either learning or paying better attention. I would have won my weekly pool, if not for loyalty to an imploding football team. Sigh. Sometimes, it's hard to be a fan. But, so far this season, picking winners is pretty fun!

Sunday

Houston (2-0) at Baltimore (1-1)

Yeah, Houston isn't impressing me either. But you know something? Baltimore impresses me even less. The defending Super Bowl champions very well could win the division this year at 7-9.

Texans over Ravens

San Diego (1-1) at Tennessee (1-1)

How about Philip Rivers having a career renaissance? Who would have thought Mike McCoy could do this much magic this early into his head coaching career? I guess we should have seen it coming. He turned Tim Tebow into a playoff winner.

Chargers over Titans

St. Louis (1-1) at Dallas (1-1)

I'm not overly confident in either team, so I'll default to home field advantage. Or in this case, home space ship advantage.

Cowboys over Rams

Tampa Bay (0-2) at New England (2-0)

Tampa plays undisciplined football, often penalized, their quarterback and coach are feuding, and now apparently Freeman has had enough and wants out. This is just the kind of game Tom Brady needs to remind everyone he's the top dog in the NFL.

Patriots over Buccaneers

Cleveland (0-2) at Minnesota (0-2)

Well, Cleveland no longer has the services of Trent Richardson. The role of starting running back will be played by Willis McGahee. No way that doesn't turn out badly. Due to injury, they will not be with the services of Brandon Weeden either. The role of starting quarterback will be played by Brian Hoyer. There's a good chance Detroit will have company in the 0-16 club.

Vikings over Browns

Arizona (1-1) at New Orleans (2-0)

Nice win last week for Bruce Arians and Steelers West. Too bad this week they have to face an offensively competent black and gold squad.

Saints over Cardinals

Detroit (1-1) at Washington (0-2)

I still don't trust Detroit. Plus, I think its time for Washington to show some signs of life. Although their defense looks as questionable as RGIII's knee right now.

Snyders over Lions

Green Bay (1-1) at Cincinnati (1-1)

Sorry Geno Atkins, but the Green Bay offense typically stays on the field for more than 3 plays at a time.

Packers over Bengals

New York Giants (0-2) at Carolina (0-2)

Somebody has to win this game. Sounds like time for Eli to give Giants fans some hope.

Giants over Panthers

Atlanta (2-0) at Miami (2-0)

How about the quietly surprising Miami Dolphins? Who saw this coming? Not me. You know what else I didn't see coming? The 3-0 Miami Dolphins.

Dolphins over Falcons

Jacksonville (0-2) at Seattle (2-0)

Not even Tebow could help with this.

Seahawks over Jaguars

Indianapolis (1-1) at San Francisco (1-1)

Combine last week's demoralizing loss in Seattle with Aldon Smith getting busted for dope and weed, and I really want to take Indy on the road with their new running back. But that feels like a foolish pick. And I'm saving my foolish pick for later.

49ers over Colts

Buffalo (1-1) at New York Jets (0-2)

Smile Buffalo fans, come Sunday evening, you will have a winning record.

Bills over Jets

Chicago (2-0) at Pittsburgh (0-2)

Pittsburgh's offense continues to operate like a Pop Warner team. And yes, this has brought on a fun new round of Todd Haley sucks observations. Here's a few of my favorites. Maybe after this week, the veterans will ban Haley from playing pool and ping pong. Now for foolish hope.

Steelers over Bears

Monday

Oakland (1-1) at Denver (2-0)

Is it still the regular season? Then there's no need to bet against Peyton Manning yet.

Broncos over Raiders

The Crystal Ball 2013 Week 3 Thursday Night Special on Friday

The NFL is killing me with this Thursday schedule. If they add games on Wednesday, I quit!

Opening Kickoff

Watching last night’s game, and hearing the commentary, I was struck that playing a football game four days after playing a previous one leads to sloppy play, increased injuries and poor entertainment. You think Goodell notices, or can he even tell the difference between good football and bad football?

The Super Bust

Yes, I know, it’s several weeks overdue. And yes, I know, I promised this not once, but twice and failed to deliver. But put away your pitchforks and torches, it’s finally here. The Crystal Ball’s annual Super Bust Picks!

One of my favorite parts of the season is determining who will play in the still theoretical Super Bust. For the uninitiated to our all-star game, the Super Bust was born out of annoyance and frustration with media outlets attempting to prognosticate Super Bowl participants and glean an NFL champion without a single down of meaningful football played. I’ve maintained it’s a ridiculous exercise in futility, and continue to enjoy pointing out the stupidity of choosing winners without any consequential data.

As longtime readers of The Crystal Ball are aware, The Super Bust would pit the two consensus pre-season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. The creation of this game would fill the void in the week between the championship games and the Super Bowl, and provide the participating teams, fans, support businesses and the NFL at large with untold benefits.

Now when this concept was first introduced, the Pro Bowl was still played at its traditional time during the week after the Super Bowl. Since then, Goodell and the NFL saw fit to move the Pro Bowl between the conference championships and the Super Bowl, filling that football free void. So for the Super Bust to actually work, the Pro Bowl needs to return to its proper time, after the Super Bowl. This would benefit the fans, because they would be able to see players from all 32 teams, not 30 minus the Super Bowl participants. And it would benefit the Super Bowl winning team, as their players could be feted by their colleagues fittingly.

I can guarantee The Super Bust would provide exciting football. The two chosen teams would be so bitter about not playing in the Super Bowl, despite being favorites to appear in the big game at the beginning of the season, and forced to play in a sideshow exhibition game they would take out their frustrations on each other. And with only the off season looming next week, all caution would be thrown to the wind. You want hard hitting slobber knocking football? The Super Bust would fit that bill. The game is that simple, and that genius. Plus, it would be fun to gather all the media talking heads together during the pregame show to discuss the participating teams, knowing these clubs were their choices to play for the Lombardi Trophy. Hello awkward conversation!

I’m sure you’re wondering if this would work. Would the pre-season favorites actually be available for the Super Bust, or would they defy my prediction and actually advance to the Super Bowl. To answer this question, let’s compare the 2007 through 2012 season’s preseason favorites to the teams that actually participated in the Super Bowl.

2012 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

2012 Actual Super Bowl Participants (Both teams were 2012 Super Bust Alternates)

NFC – San Francisco 49ers

AFC – Baltimore Ravens

2011 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

2011 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

2009 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC - New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

2009 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – Indianapolis Colts

2008 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Dallas Cowboys

AFC – New England Patriots

2008 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – Arizona Cardinals

AFC – Pittsburgh Steelers

2007 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – New England Patriots

2007 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

A few items of note here. One, I did not do this prediction in 2010, my bad. Like most sports writers, I too get lazy, or burnt out, or just too busy with this pesky real job thing. Regardless, we do not have data for that year. Moving on.

Of all the picks, the 2007 and 2011 Patriots were the only pre-season favorites to actually advance to the Super Bowl. While being able to make it to the Super Bowl after a full season being a prohibitive favorite is a tremendous achievement, New England lost both games, including their chance at immortality and a 19-0 record in 2007, to the eventual champion New York Giants. Boy that is still fun to say.

Of all actual Super Bowl participants, none made the big game again the next season. That doesn’t seem to bode well for 49er and Raven fans, now does it?

So what about the 2013 season? Well, after searching high and low and comparing picks from various media outlets, I have determined the consensus choices from the AFC and the NFC to represent their respective conferences in the Super Bowl. Those teams are….

2013 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Seattle Seahawks

AFC – Denver Broncos

Alternates: Each conference also has an alternate choice, a team favored to make the Super Bowl, but not as highly as the overall choice. And since the inception of the Super Bust, there has actually been two preseason favorites that did meet expectations, so it’s good to keep an alternate choice in reserve for each conference. Because we still need the revenue from this imaginary game or the NFL will go broke.

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – Houston Texans

So there you go, ladies and gentlemen, you’re choices for the 2013 Super Bust. Keep an eye on these teams throughout the season. Whilst others think they will go to and/or win the Super Bowl, I know they will only be in line for a Bust.

On Tap Tonight

Kansas City (2-0) at Philadelphia (1-1)

Ok, you already know KC won. And for the record I did pick them. I question Philadelphia’s defensive abilities at this point, and after watching the game, their ball security. But mostly, I remember McNabb’s first game against Philadelphia. And while Donovan was running on fumes, as we saw later that season, he still was able to triumph over his old team. So I figured Andy Reid would do the same. And Reid did not let me down.

Chiefs over Eagles