The Crystal Ball 2012 The Super Bust

Ok, so last year Eli Manning says he's elite, everyone makes fun of him and then he goes out and beats Tom Brady and the Patriots in the Super Bowl, again. This year, Joe Flacco says he's elite and now he's in the Super Bowl. Hey, Matt Ryan, Sometime in August just announce to the media you're an elite quarterback. It'll be smooth sailing from there.

Opening Kickoff

How come when Tim Tebow quietly kneels in prayer after a touchdown or a good play, people rake him over the coals, but when Ray thanks God and kneels in the center of the field after a game in front of as many cameras as he can find, he's called an inspiration? Good thing he lined up that ESPN gig. I don't know what he'd do without the spotlight.

The Way It Was

Well, it came down to me talking myself into rooting for the Patriots.

Before the start of the AFC championship game I sat there trying to come up with the most palatable of the remaining teams to win the Super Bowl. And believe me, I had to scrape for good a reason. Finally, I settled on the Patriots.

As I figured, Brady and Belichick are sure bet Hall of Famers, whether I like it or not. Even if they tie Montana, Bradshaw and Noll with 4 Super Bowl wins, they would still have lost two and have the specter of cheating hanging over three of their wins.

Second, Brady is at least handsome and a proven post season winner. I could handle that more than Flacco's unibrow.

Third, in both execution, team building, winning ways and demeanor Bill Belichick is the closest person in today's NFL to Chuck Noll, a coach who gets not nearly the respect he deserves. Maybe if Belichick wins his 4th in 6 tries, Noll will finally get some due for winning 4 in 4 tries. That he's not talked about more often is a shame.

Lastly, and perhaps most important, the thought of one of those Harbaugh douchebags or Ray Lewis on the cover of every magazine, web site and TV show holding the Lombardi trophy makes me sick to my stomach.

Well, I'm now entering Week 2 of perpetual queasiness, since there's no good outcome. Either Baltimore wins and we have to hear about Ray Ray going out on top from now until the end of time, or San Francisco wins, they get 6 Super Bowl wins to match Pittsburgh. And no matter who wins, it'll be an arrogant, obnoxious Harbaugh hoisting the trophy. Woof. Thank goodness hockey's back.

49ers 28 - Falcons 24

San Francisco engineered the biggest comeback victory in NFC title game history. Or Atlanta choked away the biggest lead.

How do you lose a 17 point lead at home?

I felt the panic invade the Georgia Dome when San Francisco scored their second touchdown. But I had hope things would change when Matt Ryan and the Atlanta offense responded with a touchdown right before halftime.

Of course, the team never scored again and looked terrible in the second half, and the Super Bowl dreams of Tony Gonzalez disappeared into the Atlanta night. At least I was able to finally figure out why everyone calls Ryan Matty Ice; because he goes ice cold in the second half.

Don't worry, I'm not letting Mike Smith off the hook. Personally, I think when you're at home, in front of a jazzed up crowd and leading 17 - 0 yet lose, you should be fired. Smith's unimaginative play calling is not a new problem, and has spanned several coordinators. He was outcoached on his own field when it mattered most.

Matt Ryan and Mike Smith; they're like Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy pre-Super Bowl, but without the Q rating.

I wonder how good Atlanta would be if they could learn to live comfortably with a lead?

As for 49er fans, they're left gnashing their teeth over the one perceived weak point of the team's fortunes, the kicking game. Relax everyone, and stop vilifying David Akers for missing that field goal. He should be lauded for it. Think about it, who hits the top of the upright?? That's a heck of a kick. Of course that's not where he wanted it to go, but still.

Ravens 28 - Patriots 13

Andrew Luck. Peyton Manning. Tom Brady. All top NFL quarterbacks. At least two are headed to the Hall of Fame. The third had a scintillating start to what some project will be a Hall of Fame career. All hold NFL records, even the rookie, and accolades galore. And yet not one of them managed to do what old, third string, washed up Charlie Batch could do; beat Baltimore.

I had to wonder, did the Patriots just give up at some point? It looked like to me that a moment came when they just got tired of getting hit and stopped trying.

New England punted in Baltimore territory several times and Brady threw the ball away on 4th down late in the game. When did coach and quarterback become so timid? Where were the Patriots that mercilessly ran up the score on anyone and everyone? Or did we see what happens to any blustering bully; they only push around the kids who don't push back.

The oddest portion of the game came when Brady, sliding to avoid a tackle, kicked in the air in the general direction of a leaping Ed Reed's man parts. It was obviously blatant, and I say good on Bernard Pollard for calling out Brady and the NFL for the kick.

The NFL, not wanting to look stupid for raking Ndamukong Suh for the same infraction, fined Tom Terrific $10,000 for the kick. The same day, they fined Frank Gore $10,500 for wearing his socks incorrectly in the NFC Championship Game. So much for the NFL taking their own "player safety" initiative seriously.

Of course, thanks to that victory I can't get the hook from The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army out of my head, and it's driving me even more insane than that infectious Call Me Maybe. And it wasn't even a Baltimore home game! It's gonna be a long two weeks.

The Steel Pit

I watched the AFC Championship game getting increasingly agitated with each play. As the minutes ticked on, I knew we were getting closer and closer to Baltimore getting to the Super Bowl. It made me angry that this team I loathe the most could be so successful, that Ray Lewis could be close to his career ending swan song and that no one could expose this defense for it's many flaws.

But what angered me the most was that throughout the playoffs, Baltimore has been a paragon of tough, hard hitting, intimidating football. The kind I used to see out of Pittsburgh. The Ravens went into Foxboro and Denver and figuratively punched both teams right in the mouth and never backed down. And they coupled it with a hard rushing, high flying offense. If this were almost any other team, I'd love it. 4 years ago, it was Pittsburgh and I reveled in it.

But now, this is not the current incarnation of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and I say the blame for that falls at the feet of Art Rooney II and Todd Haley.

It starts with Rooney, who bizarrely fired Bruce Arians and directed the hiring of Haley. Haley's low wattage ball control offense did neither job for which it was intended, increase scoring and keep Roethlisberger healthy. The offense regressed horribly, especially late in the season when the team needed points the most.

For decades, the Rooney family has been looked upon as good people who run a high class operation that focuses on people. But Rooney's treatment of Arians betrays that image. Rooney was the impetus behind the dismissal of Arians, which the team announced was a retirement. A retirement Arians most certainly was not planning on taking.

Look Art II is the president and owner of the team. If he does not like how things are going, that's his prerogative. Much like any business owner, he has the right to make whatever change he sees fit to make his business more competitive and successful.

But to fire a long time coach, one who brought much success to the organization, and then tell a bold faced lie that said coach "retired" is wrong. It's the wrong way to treat people, especially someone who helped your team win two Super Bowls and reach a third in a six year span. It's not the way the Steelers or the Rooney family publically operate through the years.

To know that Art II so callously discarded someone who meant so much to the team, and his highly paid franchise quarterback, and then lie about how they treated him embarrasses me as a Steeler fan. The only good thing about this bad situation is that Arians was able to do so many good things in Indianapolis this season.

Art II should still issue a public apology for his shoddy treatment of Bruce Arians.

What frightens me is the seemingly foolishness with which the team is run. As an example, the team is planning to part ways with Max Starks and Ramon Foster. Now I understand it's time for their young highly drafted offensive linemen to take the reins. But with no experienced backups behind those young men, and combined with the fact that Starks and Foster were the only linemen to stay healthy and start every game, it seems foolish to dump both of them without thinking of depth and experience. With decisions like this piling up, I wonder as many Steeler fans do if Art II has the proper temerity to run this team as successfully as his father.

As for Haley, we mentioned his main jobs were to resurrect the running game, fail, keep Big Ben healthy, fail, and increase scoring, fail. The offense only scored 30 points more than once and that was in a loss to the woeful Raiders.

When your franchise quarterback throws for only 134 yards against a 5-10 team with 75 % of its starting secondary out injured, when you have no running back hit 100 yards in a game for 8 straight games, when no receiver  has a reception over 30 yards against one of the worst teams in the NFL, then there's a problem with your offensive philosophy

But these two should not shoulder all of the blame. The team itself did plenty of damage on its own. After all, no matter what ownership, management or the coaching staff does, the players must execute on game day. And this year, the Steelers did not.

Now, I'm not sure if it's a selfishness, a lack of unity, a lack of leadership, too many older players, too many younger players or a lack of understanding of the Steeler Way. But something is missing. An anger, an edge, a no holds barred, take no prisoners attitude. This team needs a desperate pep talk from Joey Porter.

Hopefully, with the whimpering end to the season, the younger players will realize sitting home in January sucks. Maybe now after sitting at home they'll start making their actions back up their words and egos.

From a coaching standpoint, the team need a special teams coordinator and an offensive line coach. From a player perspective, there are multiple holes to fill.

Ok, that's my rant on this pathetic excuse for a season. Next week, we'll play King for a Day, and I'll share how I would fix the woes of the Steelers, you know if someone were crazy enough to give me that kind of power.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Remember the 2008 AFC Championship game? Willis McGahee surprisingly does. Even though he still doesn't think the concussion he suffered qualifies as an injury. See how much more serious you need to take your player safety campaign Roger Goodell?

My consolation for such an awful results during Championship Weekend? At least people are starting to call the Patriots done. That's nice.

After the 49ers/Falcons tilt, two fans from each team got into an escalating argument that resulted in the Falcon fan being stabbed and taken to the hospital. Relax Ravens fans, I have proof that Ray Lewis was nowhere near Atlanta when this happened.

Roger Goodell has been busy trying to create a pleasant visit to New Orleans in the lead up to his week in the Big Easy. First, he reinstated suspended Saints head coach Sean Payton. Then he made sure the NFL public relations machine was well oiled, with this wonderfully timed piece about how hard he worked to make sure the Saints stayed in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Heck they should give him a hero's welcome. But as a nice final touch, Sean Payton also urged the city to show Goodell some hospitality.

Despite all this preemptive leg work, something tells me that Roger should probably stick to NFL approved and sequestered areas, lest he enjoys getting booed mercilessly.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones stripped head coach Jason Garrett of his play calling duties. Keep going Jerry, strip power from the general manager too!

Jets owner Woody Johnson blamed recently fired general manager Mike Tannenbaum for acquiring Tim Tebow, with the owner saying he didn't want Tebow. Hey Jets fans, your team is owned by a man who can be coerced into decisions he does not want to make. Good luck next season!

Surviving the HarBowl

Great. Just great. The 49ers and Ravens made it to the Big Game. Now we get to watch both Harbaugh brothers throw temper tantrums like petulant children on the sidelines in the same game. I bet this will make their mother feel nostalgic.

Between the Harbaugh boys and Ray Ray painting his face, bouncing around like a crack head in need of a fix and crying into every camera he can find, you might as well rename this the Gerber Bowl. So let me ask you, do you hate the Ravens? Do you have trouble swallowing Ray Ray's phony act? Are you willing to stand in line to punch Jim Harbaugh in his whiny face?

Yeah, I'm with ya. Just the thought of rehashing how Ray Ray turned his life around for the umpteenth time, or hearing abut Jim and John's childhood for two straight weeks or listening to their scheduled joint press conference is enough to make me wanna vomit. Luckily, I have an alternative to puke. We at the Crystal Ball have compiled a few ideas to help you make it through the most obnoxious sports media week of the year.

Exercise

This could be one of the best things for you this week. A good workout will do a body good, help get rid of unwanted stress, be a welcome outlet for the pent up frustrations of the week and possibly be the start of a great lifetime habit. There are many great ways to exercise, and many people find dancing both fun and fulfilling. Who knows, you may get in such great shape, that you find yourself with an overly positive body image.

Shopping

Now maybe some of you find yourselves with a bit of a bigger entertainment budget due to cancelled Super Bowl travel plans. Well, now would be a good time to spread the wealth, and pick up a few gifts for your favorite 49er fan or even a few ideas for your favorite Raven fan.

Reading

This is always a great way to pass the time, and one of my favorite hobbies. Reading can take you to far away world, major moments in history and expand your knowledge and imagination. My only question is, what to read first? Well, I've always found tales of how history can repeat itself very interesting. And I know that personal accounts of true life crimes are always a popular choice.

Alternate Programming

Ok, let's get a little serious. After all, no matter how many ways you distract yourself, at the end of the week the Super Bowl will still be here. So how do you avoid it on television? I mean, it's not like you can turn off the TV, right? Of course not!

You're best choices, other than Netflix or On Demand, are any NHL game, Puppy Bowl IX, World's Strongest Man Competition, and on Hallmark Channel a Golden Girls marathon. Yes, there are other marathons on, including NCIS, Roseanne, Law & Order, Snooki and JWoww and something called Wives with Knives on ID Network. But if you're gonna avoid the Super Bowl, I say the best way would be with a saucy Rue McClanahan.

If you are craving the commercials, and who isn't, utilize your DVR and just fast forward through the game. And if you do not have a DVR, then you had better be quick on the draw with your mute button.

But if you must punish yourself with the Super Bowl itself, you might as well dive in with both feet and take advantage of all of CBS' week of Super Bowl programming.

Schadenfreude

Finally, reality sets in and you realize, well, there's no getting away from the Super Bowl. And now you're desperate to find some way to enjoy it. If you're in this boat, and I believe a few people are, your best bet is to find joy in the suffering of others. And the top three ways to enjoy the misery of the Super Bow are:

3 - Future holidays at the Harbaugh house will be uncomfortable, at best.

2 - No matter what happens Sunday, Ray Lewis will no longer be playing football.

and Number 1....

No matter what happens over 60 minutes of game time, one of these two teams will lose.

And there you have it, the best ways I can come up with to survive the HarBowl. Personally, I'll be watching old episodes of America's Game and humming Memories. Hey, it's better than three hours of close ups of Jim and John Harbaugh.

He Said He Said

"What a complete and utter sideline hissy fit he threw after the replay review failed to overturn the Harry Douglas catch in the fourth quarter. I used to have meltdowns like that once in a while, but my mom always wound up sending me to my room to calm down for an hour or two." - Si.com's Don Banks

Yeah, get ready for double that this coming Sunday.

“We’re disappointed in the results. What else do you want me to say?” - Patriots head coach Bill Belichick

How about I'm sorry!

"Tell the Patriots to have fun at the Pro Bowl! Arrogant f------." - Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs

That's not true. Losing twice in the Super Bowl to Eli Manning will knock you down a few pegs.

“All B.S., ego, and arrogance aside, that is one hell of a ball club. You’ve got to play perfect to beat them. We did damn near just that to win this game.” - Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs

Wait, what? Arrogance aside? Suggs, you just called your team and yourself damn near perfect. That comment by itself highlights your arrogance and ego. So much for a firm grasp of the obvious.

"I love Andy Reid, but I think near the end it was a little bit depressing. I think there was a little bit of a loss of focus from Andy Reid.'' - former Eagles quarterback Ron Jaworski

I completely agree, which makes me wonder why he jumped into a new job so fast.

"And don't throw baked beans at me for saying this, Boston faithful -- but Belichick won three Super Bowls when he was cheating, and has not won since being caught." - ESPN.com's Gregg Easterbrook

Hee hee hee. At least making fun of Belichick and Spygate can still make me smile in these dark times.

"Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis' Wikipedia page. 6 kids, 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay! What a hall of fame player! A true role model!" - Anna Burns Welker, wife of Patriots receiver Wes Welker

How dare she talk so negatively about God's linebacker!

Or...

Man, Patriot wives should be put under a gag order after playoff losses. Hmmm, I have an idea for a new reality TV show....

Or...

Today Roger Goodell fined the Patriots $100,000,000,000,000.00 for allowing Anna Burns Welker to speak publically and ruin their carefully crafted image of Ray Lewis, which the NFL has been selling relentlessly for the last month.

Or...

She's not wrong.

"Racism is real bro & anger makes people forget they shouldn't be publicly RT @D_VanDyke8: Did welker wife really put that on Facebook? Wow" - Steelers safety Ryan Clark on Anna Burns Welker's Facebook post

Ryan, come on man. Her comment is only racist if you believe in and perpetuate the stereotype that this sort of behavior is limited to and performed solely by the African American community. Her comment never mentioned race, just her questioning his character.

Idiot of the Week

Oh my goodness, it's like there's some sort of prestige involved in being named Idiot of the Week. There were so many good choices, I had such a difficult time picking just one, but alas, only one can be chosen, and this week, we give the award to former NFL receiver Tim Brown.

Brown, not wanting Manti Te'o to be the craziest sports story of the year involving a Notre Dame player, announced this week he believes former Raiders head coach Bill Callahan purposely sabotaged the team's appearance in the 2002 Super Bowl to allow friend, and former Raider head coach Jon Gruden, to win with the Buccaneers.

Most rational thinking people asked a few questions immediately. First, Huh? Second, wait, what? Third, who cares? Fourth, huh?

When the initial confusion died down, the real questions came. How would such a thing be possible? If there was a conspiracy, wouldn't someone have talked before now? This happened 10 years ago, why now?

So he didn't just seem like a lone nut, former teammate Jerry Rice chimed in and agreed with everything Brown had to say.

Unfortunately, that just makes them both look stupid, since Callahan and a slew of former teammates including Lincoln Kennedy and Bill Romanowski all basically called bullshit on Brown.

Usually a player will make an accusation like this if there is something to gain. But the only thing I can figure out Brown had to gain was the label of idiot. So Tim Brown, for starting the second craziest story involving a Notre Dame player last week, you are an idiot.

The Super Bust

Welcome one and all to this year’s Super Bust! I still await the official inception of this great game, but alas Commissioner Goodell seems too busy giving lip service to player safety, trying to find a new angle sell expanded playoffs and angering the good people of New Orleans to be bothered with this gem of a game. No matter, the game will go on, if only in the twinkling lights of our imagination. And perhaps one day, we can all sit in a stadium far off and witness this beautiful game in actuality.

As stated upon its inception, The Super Bust would match the two consensus pre season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. This game allows a great many things to happen. As we detailed in the past, here is a partial list of everything the Super Bust would provide.

§         A chance for two fan bases to see their team in action one more time before next season

§         An added opportunity for one team to end their season with a win.

§         Some extra earnings for players

§         A chance for each organization to strengthen their team monetarily and physically with added income as well as additional draft choices

§         An opportunity to show how futile picking Super Bowl winners before the season really is

§         An extra football game when we really need one

§         A weekend of football and fun in Las Vegas

§         A perfect excuse to go to Las Vegas (like you need one anyway)

§         An excuse to have another big game party, this one where the game really does not matter

§         A chance to use the game as a warm up to your real party the next week for the Super Bowl. Try out those far out recipes you think may not work on the real game day.  Almost like a Party Pre Season.

§         Staving off football withdraw for another two weeks

§         Another game for the NFL Network to air, giving more practice to both their broadcast crews and technical crews as well as increasing demand for the network itself

§         Something for the sports media to talk about during the dead time when all other Super Bowl stories and angles have been beaten to death

§         food and service industries seeing a bigger bump in production and sales, thus adding more stimulus to the economy

§         Businesses around the world that have a stake in football seeing an increased profit, adding even more stimulus to the economy

§         The advertising industry having another forum to debut killer commercials, almost like an exhibition commercial season

§         Better play from the preseason favorites during the regular season, since none of them would want to play in the Super Bust

Just to refresh everyone’s memory, since it is a long season, here were our preseason picks to make it to our big game.

2012 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites:

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

Strangely enough, both teams were the 2011 Preseason consensus favorites as well.

Alternates:

NFC – San Francisco 49ers

AFC – Baltimore Ravens

Weird.......

So this year, the NFC entrant will be Green Bay Packers, who battled through injury issues all season but could not overcome the 49ers in the Divisional round.

The AFC entrant will indeed be the New England Patriots, who could not manage to pull it together to stave off Baltimore at home. So very sad, such a once glorious franchise left in tatters.

My Super Bust pick this year will be….New England! I cannot wait to see how it turns out!

The actual "results" will be revealed in our big Super Bowl blowout. Stay tuned.