The Crystal Ball 2012 The Divisionals

Due to his heroic performance Sunday, returning from a torn triceps muscle, jumping on the pile after the tackle a game high 13 times and bravely performing his seizure dance not once but twice, the NFL bypassed their normal criteria and immediately awarded Ray Lewis the Comeback Player of the Year Award.

Opening Kickoff

I don't know what's worse; having to hear the Ravens crowd chant the obnoxious Seven Nation Army like some drunken college crowd or enduring the following week of the Ray Ray farewell tour.

The Way It Was

Texans 19 - Bengals 13

Obviously the Texans haven't learned that when you let a bad team hang around, they will come back to bite you. And the Bungles almost had a bite.

Andy Dalton needs to learn he has other receiving options than AJ Green. As the game wears on, all a defense has to do is triple cover Green. Dalton seems to forget everyone else is there.

Mike Mayock needed to settle down. Yes, J.J. Watt is a great defensive end. Yes he's exciting. Yes, he's awesome at getting his hands up and batting down passes. But the man has played for two seasons. Are you serious in calling him the greatest pass blocker of all time?

Oh and Mike, just for clarification. When the defense commits a penalty and allows the offense to keep the ball in what would have been an obvious punting situation is not like a turnover. It's like a defensive miscue that keeps a drive alive.

I think Mike had too much caffeine before the game. Perhaps he should have shared some with the teams playing.

Houston was so underwhelming in outlasting an ineffectual Bengal attack, that I'm not convinced they didn't just re-air last year's Wild Card game between these two teams. Prove me wrong.

Packers 24 - Vikings 10

Minnesota was hamstrung before the game even began when the team deactivated quarterback Christian Ponder due to injury. Not that Ponder is Aaron Rodgers, but he's a slight bit better than backup Joe Webb, who started the game in his stead.

The NBC pregame personnel drove me nuts trying to sell the viewing public on Joe Webb. To hear Tony Dungy talk, Webb was RGIII Lite. After watching his performance, Webb wasn't even one legged RGIII.

Minnesota would have been better off starting Adrian Peterson at quarterback and just putting in an extra blocker. It couldn't have been worse. As it stands, the Packers focused on stopping Peterson, the Viking offense could then do nothing and the game was never as close as the final score.

Ravens 24 - Colts 9

The Colts were riding high with Chuckstrong, but were derailed by the emotional return of Ray Lewis and the sidelining of their offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who was admitted to the hospital with an undisclosed illness before the game. That is never a good sign for a team trying to win on the road. As it stands, the Colts did not win, nor did they even come close. Their offense stagnated and eventually Baltimore's defense just began blitzing like crazy, overwhelming young Andrew Luck.

I'm going to give Chuck Pagano some slack because he was at a gigantic disadvantage having been around the team so little all season and his right hand, Arians, was in the hospital. But more coaches need to recognize when you settle for field goals, you show your opponent you do not have the cajones to go for the win and are willing to accept a close loss. Any half decent opponent will pounce on that and stomp the tar out of you. Pagano settled for his 4th field goal, which promptly missed. The Ravens jumped on this and scored a touchdown putting the game essentially out of reach. Never settle.

Ray Ray returned for his last home game, and it was just like old times. Lewis played enthusiastically, jumping on the pile after the tackle like a man 5 years younger.

ok, I felt dumber for having watched Ray Ray's little pregame dance/seizure. But I have to ask, what s with the block of sod they bring out for him to rip apart? Do we really need props? Shouldn't that draw a penalty for celebration with props? Isn't that unsportsmanlike conduct? Is he a secret vegetarian and needs to graze before the game? Why doesn't he just throw around Joe Flacco? I don't get it.

Oh, and a quick note to everyone falling all over themselves to anoint Lewis as the greatest middle linebacker of all time. Ray Nitschke, Dick Butkus, Jack Lambert and Mike Singletary would all like to have a word with you about forgetting history. And Patrick Willis and Von Miller would like to remind you all of the present and future.

Seahawks 24 - Redskins 14

The Redskins tore out of the gate scoring touchdowns on their first two drives. Everything went drastically downhill from there.

I'm not going to bust Mike Shanahan's chops too hard. I think everyone has been teeing off on him pretty thoroughly all week. Actually I give him some leeway, because if he would have been cautious and sat RGIII, and Washington lost with Cousins at quarterback, people would have raked Shanahan over the coals for sitting RGIII.

But like everyone, I must wonder if Shanahan only screwed up this Redskins season by keeping a clearly hobbled RGIII in a game far too long until or did he screw up the Redskins for years to come by continuing to play their dynamic franchise player on what turned out to be a torn ACL and MCL and causing permanent damage that could forever alter his game.

At this point, any argument is moot. RGIII had surgery, his rehab will commence during the off season and Washington fans can only hope that RGIII has the same recuperative abilities as Adrian Peterson. Otherwise, 2013 could be a dismal season.

The Steel Pit

Not much going on with the boys in Black and Gold. But a few of the nuggets from around the Burgh.

Art Rooney II, who talks with the press about Steeler business and his thoughts on the team more often than I think his father and grandfather did combined, gave both Todd Haley and Mike Tomlin his vote of confidence this week. Usually, I would signal that as the death kneel for a coach. I'm not sure what to think now.

Running back Chris Rainey was arrested in Florida for simple battery after an altercation with a woman over a cell phone. The Steelers promptly released him from the team.

And finally, defensive end Brett Keisel will be hosting his third annual "Shear da Beard" event, with the proceeds going to Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. No matter how good or bad a season is, at least recently I always feel good about this event. Thanks Brett, and thanks as well to Brett's wife who puts up with that crazy beard for 6 months a year!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

A bar in Green Bay put up a sign to taunt Adrian Peterson for coming up short in his quest to break the single season rushing yardage record. While funny, I have to ask, did any Green Bay running back even have 9 yards of rushing all season?

Ok, I believe we've all seen Rex Ryan's disturbing tattoo, that I'm sure more than a few therapists would love to talk with Rex about in great detail. At least it explains in part his unwavering support for Mark Sanchez.

Colts head coach Chuck Pagano wrote a letter to the city of Indianapolis, thanking them for their support. I hope Pagano turns out to be a good head coach, because if so, this could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Colts offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who missed the Colts/Ravens game due to being hospitalized for an undisclosed illness, was finally released from the hospital Wednesday. I feel bad for Arians, right at the pinnacle of a transcendent season for him, he gets felled by illness. The lesson here, everyone, is get your flu shot.

CBS studio analyst Bill Cowher announced that he will return to coaching one day. What fantastic news for the 12 people who still cared.

What's this? A rooting guide for the playoffs for fans of teams that didn't make the post season? Oh for the love of gravy, you're a bit late ESPN, I've had this covered for awhile.

The Vikings practiced for their Wild Card game indoors as head coach Leslie Frazier did not want to contend with the sub zero temperatures. Well, now he can watch the playoffs from his warm living room never fearing cold weather.

The Hall of Fame released their list of 15 finalists. It should be interesting who makes the cut in a few weeks.

New Jaguars GM David Caldwell stated in no uncertain terms the team is not interested in the services of Tim Tebow. Awwwww, come on Caldwell, don't suck the life out of the party as soon as you get there. Boy, this guy knows nothing about marketing or exciting a fan base.

This story about Peyton Manning's simplified offense and favorite play makes me think of the 1960s Packers, who did the same thing with the Power Sweep. My question, and not in a condemning fashion but out of genuine curiosity, is why didn't Indianapolis win more championships? The Packers ruled the 1960s running the Power Sweep. Was it something else lacking on the Colts, or was it increased games and competition that held Indianapolis back from more championships. Inquiring minds want to know.

Upon Further Review

The race for NFL MVP this season has been wide open, with more than a few worthy candidates throwing their helmets into the ring. The two favorites are also the favorites for Comeback Player of the Year, Vikings running back Adrian Peterson and Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning. And while I think both are tremendous players deserving of the honor, and there are no bad choices, I believe this year the award should be bestowed upon Peterson.

Undoubtedly Manning has had a remarkable year, reverting back to his all pro form of which we have become accustomed and doing it with a new team, coaches, teammates and fans. And his comeback is just as inspirational as Peterson's. However last season Denver was a playoff team. Yes, they were 8-8 and faded down the stretch, and they did not make it past the Divisional round, but they still did well and the talent was still there. Conversely, last season Minnesota won 3 games while breaking in a rookie quarterback.

This season in Denver, the addition of Manning added 5 wins to the team's record, equaled last season's division title and added a first round bye. So no matter what happens, they will at least progress as far as they did in last year's playoffs.

This season in Minnesota, Peterson recovered from ACL surgery in a way no player has ever done before, came within 8 yards of breaking the all time single season rushing yardage record, added 7 wins to the team's total and took them into the playoffs. This was done all while every opponent knew Peterson would be the focal point of the offense and geared themselves to stop him. They could not.

Peterson is the Vikings, if you take him away, I'd be shocked if the team won 2 games, let alone make the playoffs. Plus, for their playoff game, Peterson volunteered for punt blocking and kick return duties. That is the kind of desire and sacrifice you see from a winner, a leader and a most valuable player.

No one player is more valuable to his team than Peterson. He is the literal definition of MVP and the award should be his. The Vikings loss to the Packers in the Wild Card round solidified it for me. The Packers knew they did not have to worry about Joe Webb at quarterback, and sold out to stop Peterson. Despite this, Peterson still had almost 100 yards rushing.

At this time, the NFL is a quarterback league and most likely Peterson will not win the award in favor of Manning. And while Manning would be a great choice as well, and it would be hard to argue against him, I believe this year it should be given to Peterson. Manning's had this award, quarterbacks get it all the time. This year, I hope the voters do something a little different.

Duck Duck Coach

Jacksonville Jaguars - The team hired David Caldwell to be their new general manager. And his first act on the job was to fire current head coach Mike Mularkey. When the rumor mill stated Mularkey could be fired this year, I wonder if their assessments meant this year before next season.

Cleveland Browns - The Browns did the usual Brown stuff and hired Panthers offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski as their 6th head coach since 1999. Oh Cleveland.

New York Jets - In order to deflect more blame, the Jets also fired offensive coordinator Tony Sparano after one season. Keep going, there's one more coaching big cheese that needs to go. Don't stop now.

Philadelphia Eagles - No word yet on a new head coach, but Denver's Mike McCoy did interview with the team.

Chicago Bears - No word yet, although Bruce Arians has been mentioned as a potential candidate.

Buffalo Bills - The team tabbed Syracuse head coach Doug Marrone as the new head Bill. Hey, there's always hope.

San Diego Chargers - The team named Tom Telesco as their new general manager. With Telesco in place, I imagine the coaching search will begin in earnest.

Arizona Cardinals - Well, they interviewed Todd Haley. I wish they had just given him the job.

Dallas Cowboys - Jerry Jones vowed that changes would be made. So instead of doing the smartest change, firing the general manager, he fired defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. Not a bad move, but more could be done.

To fix all that ails the Cowboys, Jones rushed his search, ignored potential better available candidates and then hired Monte Kiffin as the team's new defensive coordinator. Kiffin was just recently let go from his position of defensive coordinator at USC, where he worked for and was fired by his son Lane.

You know it's never a good idea when the owner dictates who the coordinators should be. For an example, see the Pittsburgh Steelers, 2012 edition.

St. Louis Rams - Huh, I guess Rob Ryan was right. St. Louis hired him as their new defensive coordinator.

He Said He Said

"Everyone in America wants to see Brady and Manning rekindle a classic rivalry." - NFL.com's Adam Schein

No, everyone does not. The thought of 7 days of build up and non stop 24/7 of PEYTON TOM PEYTON TOM PEYTON TOM PEYTON TOM make me want to preemptively unplug my television until February.

"I love our crowd but they are getting spoiled. They're booing, and we're OK. We're OK, man." - Texans running back Arian Foster on the Houston crowd booing field goal attempts

Sorry Arian, but you're wrong. If your team is settling for field goals, your crowd knows that won't fly against better competition, especially New England.

"It's a tough decision, and you've got to go with your gut. I'm not saying my gut was right. I'll probably second-guess myself." - Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan on playing RGIII

Get in line Mike, because just about everyone is second guessing you right now.

"We wanted to make the day memorable for him. It was an emotional day, not just for Ray, but for everyone in the stadium, and we all wanted to send him off right.'' - Ravens receiver Anquan Boldin on Ray Ray's big day

Good gravy, he's just retiring, he's not dying.

"I love y'all to death! I love y'all to death!" - Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis after the game to his teammates

Too many jokes.....

"I've been a nervous wreck letting him come back as quick as he has. He's doing a lot better this week, but he's still recovering and I'm holding my breath because of it. He passed all the tests and all the functional things we do, but it's been a trying moment for me, to be honest with you." - Dr. James Andrews on RGIII's early return

I wonder if he just screamed I TOLD YOU SO at Mike Shanahan after the game for about three hours.

“I inherited a team that was 31st in the league in defense and made them better. I [expletive] made them a hell of a lot better. I’ll be out of work for like five minutes. I enjoyed my time here. I have no hard feelings. But it doesn’t matter if I coach here or not. I will find another spot. I’m too damn good.” - defensive coordinator Rob Ryan after getting fired from the Cowboys

Kids, remember. There exists a fine line between self confidence and arrogant douchebaggery. The Ryan brothers do not know this line exists. Please learn from their mistake.

Idiot of the Week

My goodness, so many good choices this week. To whom should we bestow the crown of idiot?

Oh, sure, this week we could give it to Mike Shanahan, for his terrible management of his injured franchise quarterback.

Or we could give it to Roger Goodell, for his uncomfortable man hug and obvious sucking up to Ray Lewis before the Ravens/Colts game.

We could even give it to Ray Ray himself for once again inflicting that spastic body heave he calls a dance on the football viewing public again last week, twice.*Shudder*

But this week I think we'll give the award to Seahawks fullback Michael Robinson for forgetting not only for what industry he works but also where he lives.

After the Seahawks/Redskins game, Robinson complained in the press about the field conditions at Fed Ex Field. No surprise there, this was a common sentiment amongst the game participants and the media as well. Robinson started his comments directed at commissioner Goodell, and at first, he had a great point.

"You care about us, but you don't mandate mouthpieces. You care about us, but we play on that field last week that was like, 'Really? Really?'"

Heck yeah! I've been preaching that for two years! I'm with you Michael! Goodell does not care about you. He also doesn't mandate concussion reducing helmets, which would show he does give a modicum of a damn! Preach on!

"That should be illegal. That's like working in a sweat shop to me."

Ummm, what? Did he really say that? Ok, it's my turn. Really Michael, really? First off, every physical job in this country has some percentage of crappy working conditions. Not dangerous, not against the law, just crappy. Just ask any logger, or coal miner, or locker room attendant. There's nothing illegal about it, it just sucks.

Second, allow me to ask you a few questions. Do you work more than 14 hours a day? Do you work 7 days a week? Do you receive less food than it would take to properly nourish a terrier? Are you not allowed regular breaks during your work day for food, water or usage of the bathroom? Are you not paid a living wage, or about 10 times more than a living wage? If you answered no to any of these questions, THEN YOU ARE NOT WORKING IN A SWEAT SHOP.

Just comparing playing professional football, making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to do so, on a unkempt field to working in a sweat shop might be the dumbest thing I've heard all season. Michael Robinson, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Woof, rough start. Lost one of my playoff horses and the opportunity for an undefeated post season right out of the gates.

Last week: 3-1

Season to Date: 164-92

My favorite part of every playoff game during Wild Card weekend and Divisional Round weekend is the same moment. It comes late in the third quarter, the two teams have overcome their jitters and first half miscues. They have shaken off halftime and are playing the purest football they will play all game. It is at this moment, as the two teams are battling, that I have the same strangest moment of clarity. One of these teams have less than 20 minutes left in their season. I love that moment. The finality of the end game that is approaching is so poetic, so tragic for the vanquished.

There are only 4 of these moments left this season. Enjoy them to the fullest.

Saturday

Baltimore (11-6) at Denver (13-3)

It has taken until the divisional round of the playoffs. But finally, finally I have the elite quarterback I've needed all season to expose this crappy Raven defense. Well, I had one, but Kansas City made sure he was unavailable to play Baltimore. Stupid sack injury. Come on Peyton you red -foreheaded dingus, its high time you learned to play outdoors, in the cold, in January. The only problem with Denver eliminating Baltimore will be the endless Peyton Manning stories. I guess that's better than the endless Ray Lewis stories to which we've been subjected.

Broncos over Ravens

Green Bay (12-5) at San Francisco (11-4-1)

Green Bay will make up for their Week 1 embarrassment at home and continue on their inevitable march to a rematch showdown with Seattle. Conversely, Jim Harbaugh will finally look foolish and pay for his arrogance of switching quarterbacks mid stream. Come on, you knew that chicken had to come home to roost.

Packers over 49ers

Sunday

Seattle (12-5) at Atlanta (13-3)

Here's your upset of the week. But considering how few people are on Atlanta's bandwagon, is it really an upset? I'll tell you what. If Atlanta wins, then I'll believe in them. But they won't. Seattle has to face Green Bay again.

Seahawks over Falcons

Houston (13-4) at New England (12-4)

Ok, I know any given Sunday, and every team has a chance, and you have to be good to make it to the playoffs and every other platitude, motivational quote and optimistic viewpoint that can be applied to this game. But you know what? I saw what New England did to Houston a few weeks back. And I have yet to see anything from Houston that tells me they can correct and overcome that kind of butt whupping. Plus, it's inevitable that I must be annoyed for the next 7 days.

Patriots over Texans