The Crystal Ball 2011 The Super Bust

Wait, the season isn’t over after the Pro Bowl? That’s how it used to be. Huh, and here I just kicked back last weekend and relaxed. Woof, I best get on the stick.

Opening Kickoff

So the Patriots and Giants both won to advance to Super Bowl XLVI. Come on Goodell, this is just a repackaged rerun from 4 years ago. Now you won’t even give us original programming at these prices?

The Way It Was

Patriots 23 – Ravens 20

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Well, I guess Baltimore can lose the AFC championship game to teams other than Pittsburgh.

The Patriots brought back Drew Bledsoe to be the honorary captain before the game. You know Tom Brady was talking with him and saying stuff like, remember when I took your job, and then we won a Super Bowl, that was awesome

I watched the game from the perspective of the enemy of my enemy is my friend. With a completely detached emotional chip, I must say the Patriot offense can be fun to watch at times. Why do I suddenly feel so dirty?

Ravens fans were so obnoxious in the lead up to this game that I wasn’t just picking the Patriots to win, I was enthusiastically rooting for New England to win. Self loathing, here I am.

It wasn’t mentioned much, but the Patriot running game grabbed sizable chunks of yardage often on the vaunted Ravens defense. Despite that, Ray Lewis still showed there’s no one better in the NFL at jumping on the pile after the tackle.

Vince Wilfork owned the Ravens offensive line. Giants’ line, take note.

Did you see Tom Brady jump over the line to grab a 1 yard touchdown? That never used to happen against Baltimore. If Warren Sapp won’t say it, then I will; Ray Lewis is old, slow and done.

The best was as Cundiff lined up for the kick, I said aloud, wouldn’t it be funny if he shanked it. Wish granted. Wouldn’t it be funny if I won a million dollars? Hey it couldn’t hurt.

Everyone wants to put the goat horns on Billy Cundiff for shanking that field goal, but it should be Lee Evans. He had enough time to secure that ball before Sterling Moore knocked it away.

Giants 20 – 49ers 17 OT

Help me Eli Manning, you’re my only hope!

Don’t you just love Ed Hochuli’s overly detailed descriptions when it comes to penalties? He’s the best.

Oh look, New York went into overtime and won the game and a trip to the Super Bowl with a field goal from Lawrence Tynes. I’m telling you, I’ve seen this program before.

Jay Glazer reported before the game that Giants’ players had a sham-wow like cloth inside of their hand warmers to keep their hands dry. Ok then.

I’m so impressed, the 49ers managed to keep the power on at Candlestick for two games, one into overtime! I didn’t think it was possible.

So a defensive slugfest was bested by Eli Manning, who once again lit it up in the 4^th quarter to come out victorious. I’m starting to sense a pattern emerging from the younger Manning. I wonder if it will continue for one more game.

Unless you have zero emotions, you have to feel for Kyle Williams. There’s no one who probably felt worse as the teams’ walked off the field Sunday evening. Keep your head up Kyle, everyone has a bad day.

The Steel Pit

Well, to the joy of many old school Steeler fans (read people who think passing is just a fad, will go away and we need to run on three of every four downs), the Steelers announced the retirement of offensive coordinator Bruce Arians.

So, Bruce rides off into the sunset, having a ring and another Super Bowl appearance to bask in during his golden years and all is well. Not so fast, kiddies.

Arians spoke to his local newspaper, saying he retired because the Steelers didn’t offer him a contract. In essence, that sounds like he was fired.

Art Rooney II, who seems to be not nearly as shy with the media as his father, then spoke that a change was necessary for long term stability. He based this on Arians’ indecision regarding returning to the team after last season. I suppose that cup can hold some water, but it smells a bit fishy to me. Especially when Rooney stated at the season’s conclusion that all coaching staff decisions would be the decision of Mike Tomlin, and Tomlin stated he wanted Arians to return.

This sent the Pittsburgh rumor mill into overdrive, with the most major being that the change was brought on by ownership that wants to see a stronger commitment to and more prominent role from the running game. I’m thinking right now there are some philosophical issues the organization is dealing with, and Tomlin seems to not be a part of any of it. Hey, Mikey, let’s step up and be in charge my man. And Art II, when you have a 100 million dollar quarterback, you let him throw the ball, not go back to a three yards and a cloud of dust offense.

Now said quarterback wants some answers from Rooney regarding exactly how the owner would like to see the offense perform and in what function. This should make for an interesting, drama filled offseason. When did we turn into the Cowboys?

In other Steeler news, longtime backup nose tackle Chris Hoke called it a career after 11 seasons. Hoke felt his long term health and family were more important that trying to give it another go after dealing with major injuries for the first time in his career. In a show of solidarity, line mates Casey Hampton, Brett Keisel and Aaron Smith all attended Hoke’s retirement press conference. I wonder if Aaron Smith’s retirement is far behind. The times, they are a changin’.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Get your Twitter feeds ready, we have Chad Ochocinco is in the Super Bowl. This should be fun.

I wonder if there’s any chance the Giants could sign David Tyree before February 5^th. Wouldn’t be weird if the Patriots signed him instead? Whoops, I think I just gave Belichick an idea.

Bungle Jerome Simpson plead not guilty to federal drug charges this week. I bet he can’t stick the landing on this one.

Those classy Baltimore fans were at it again, burning Billy Cundiff jerseys out anger and frustration in the aftermath of yet another playoff collapse. I still have the same question as everyone else. Who owns a kicker’s jersey?

After the NFC Championship game, in the winner’s locker room owner Ann Mara let Terry Bradshaw have it for picking against her Giants. Don’t you just love sassy older ladies? They kick the most butt.

I know with only one game next weekend, and hours and hours to fill before it happens, this kind of nonsense will only get worse. But I felt disturbed watching James Brown interview the e-trade baby. Ok, let’s just get this out now. That CG manipulated baby is not cute, it’s creepy and disturbing. Please, I beg of you Madison Avenue enough is enough!

It took about two minutes after Cundiff’s kick for me to start hearing the laces out jokes, equating the kick to Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. These guys took it one hilarious step further.

Hey, Kyle Williams had a bad day. It happens. But there’s no need to rain down venom and threats on the guy. Yeesh, you’d think these people never made a mistake in their life. Thank goodness for the kindness of little kids. That’s your Awww moment of the week, brought to you by Kleenex.

Ok, let me get this straight, Billy Cundiff said the scoreboard showed 3rd down and not 4^th down, and that’s why he had to rush onto the field? So Billy, you’re blaming a scoreboard for you not paying attention to the game, is that correct? Come on, just man up and say you botched an easy kick. I can respect you for that, instead of making lame excuses.

Peyton Manning gave an interview recently, commenting on the massive changes occurring within the organization and stating he’s unsure of the future. Ummm Peyton, we’re all unsure of the future. If we knew what it held, what would be the point? I thought he was smart.

Peyton’s comments triggered a hissy fit of words in the press between him and Colts owner Jim Irsay. Sure, they worked it out, but I’m guessing it will only last to say March 5^th, if that.

The NFL granted Commissioner Roger Goodell a contract extension through the 2018 season. Early reports are that James Harrison is so thrilled; he’s planning a follow up interview with Men’s Health.

Upon Further Review

Penn State and college football spent last week saying goodbye to Joe Paterno. Much has been said and written about JoePa over the past week as former players and alumni came from far and wide to pay their respects. We will here as well, but I want to wait a few weeks until the NFL season winds down to give our own goodbye to Joe its proper due. Until then, I’ll just say thank you Joe.

The Super Bust

Welcome one and all to this year’s Super Bust! I still await the official inception of this great game, but alas Commissioner Goodell seems too busy screwing up the Pro Bowl, getting contract extensions and fining James Harrison to be bothered with this gem of a game. No matter, the game will go on, if only in the twinkling lights of our imagination! And perhaps one day, we can all sit in a stadium far off and witness this beautiful game in actuality.

As stated upon its inception, The Super Bust would match the two consensus pre season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. This game allows a great many good things to happen. As we detailed in the past, here is a partial list of everything the Super Bust would provide.

§  A chance for two fan bases to see their team in action one more time before next season

§  An added opportunity for one team to end their season with a win.

§  Some extra earnings for players

§  A chance for each organization to strengthen their team monetarily and physically with added income as well as additional draft choices

§  An opportunity to show how futile picking Super Bowl winners before the season really is

§  An extra football game when we really need one

§  A weekend of football and fun in Las Vegas

§  A perfect excuse to go to Las Vegas (like you need one anyway)

§  An excuse to have another big game party, this one where the game really does not matter

§  A chance to use the game as a warm up to your real party the next week for the Super Bowl. Try out those far out recipes you think may not work on the real game day.  Almost like a Party Pre Season.

§  Staving off football withdraw for another two weeks

§  Another game for the NFL Network to air, giving more practice to both their broadcast crews and technical crews as well as increasing demand for the network itself

§  Something for the sports media to talk about during the dead time when all other Super Bowl stories and angles have been beaten to death

§  food and service industries seeing a bigger bump in production and sales, thus adding more stimulus to the economy

§  Businesses around the world that have a stake in football seeing an increased profit, adding even more stimulus to the economy

§  The advertising industry having another forum to debut killer commercials, almost like an exhibition commercial season

§  Better play from the preseason favorites during the regular season, since none of them would want to play in the Super Bust

Just to refresh everyone’s memory, since it is a long season, here were our preseason picks to make it to our big game.

2011 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

Alternates

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – San Diego Chargers

So this year, the NFC entrant will be Green Bay Packers, who went through the season like a buzz saw, but came up with a dull blade when they met the Giants in the Divisional round.

The AFC entrant will need to be filled by our alternate, as New England is going to the Super Bowl despite an atrocious defense. So this year welcome the San Diego Chargers, who were slated to run away with the AFC West, but as it turned out they were just Tebowed. Boy I know how that feels.

My Super Bust pick this year will be….Green Bay! I cannot wait to see how it turns out!

The “actual” results will be revealed in our big Super Bowl blowout. Stay tuned.

Duck Duck Coach

Chicago – For Da Bears, Phil Emery will now be at the helm as the team’s new general manager.

Indianapolis – The Colts hired Baltimore defensive coordinator Chuck Pagano as their new head coach. I hate to rain on anyone’s parade, but former Raven defensive coordinators have not had a stellar track record of championship football. See Lewis, Marvin and Ryan, Rex. Indianapolis also hired the “retired” Bruce Arians as their new offensive coordinator. I think I’m going to retire for 8 days too.

Oakland – Oakland hired Denver defensive coordinator Dennis Allen as their new head coach, their first defensive hire at head coach since John Madden. I don’t think this will end quite as good, but time will tell.

Pittsburgh – Mike Tomlin is dealing with his first major coaching change of his tenure in Pittsburgh. Quarterback coach Randy Fichtner so far is the frontrunner, with rumors of Tomlin speaking with Jim Caldwell about the position. Considering Baltimore hired Caldwell for their quarterbacks coach, I think that one is debunked. But a new rumor is swirling of the team looking at Todd Haley as their new offensive coordinator. Haley is an ass, but I could talk myself into that one. Linebackers coach Keith Butler was rumored to be interviewing with Indianapolis for their defensive coordinator position, but then did not interview. I wonder if a future promotion was promised to Butler. Intrigue abounds.

Tampa Bay – Tampa Bay grabbed Rutgers head coach Greg Schiano as their new head man. This is a great hire, impressive for a team that seemed such a mess by season’s end.

He Said He Said

''What's Joe's legacy? The answer is his legacy is us. Generations of these young people from coal mines and steel towns who he gave a foundation to. It's not 409 wins, it's not two national championships, and it's not five-time coach of the year. It's us.'' - Former NFL and Nittany Lions receiver Jimmy Cefalo at Paterno’s memorial service

That is but one reason you cannot truly quantify Joe’s legacy and impact, but that’s for another day.

"I sucked bad today." – Patriots quarterback Tom Brady after New England’s victory over Baltimore

Yeah, it was just that day you sucked.

“I think the questions of how we got here are not really relevant.” – Steelers owner Art Rooney II on the “retirement of Bruce Arians

Oh how’s that for spin kids? I’m using this line for everything now, especially when I go on a binge and eat a whole pack of cheese in one day.

"I just told him that it's going to be OK. You know, we'll move on. He is a great kicker. You know, and everyone has a tough moment. All of us do, so Billy will be fine." – Ravens head coach John Harbaugh on kicker Billy Cundiff

Translation, he’ll be fine on his new team next season.

"It's definitely tough to be as close as we were to going to Indianapolis and not having it go our way." – Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco

Nope I didn’t find it tough at all.

“Peyton's brother faces Peyton's (friendly) arch-rival in The House That Peyton Built ... with Peyton, I'm assuming, watching from a luxury suite.” SI.com’s Peter King

Hee hee hee.

“To let Ray Lewis down, you don't know how many games he has left, is pretty tough." - Ravens kicker Billy Cundiff

Sometimes you get chased by angry men.

"Clearly, when you have a team that went to back-to-back championship games, what else is there to go for? It's Super Bowl or bust. Well, we busted." – Jets head coach Rex Ryan

Is he still talking?

"I never thought 'Sodapop Curtis' would announce my retirement." – Colts quarterback Peyton Manning on Rob Lowe tweeting Manning was retiring.

If Peyton does retire, I think he has a career in comedy. Have you seen his new commercial for Papa John’s? Just tremendous work of bringing up Bettis’ famous Thanksgiving Day coin toss fiasco and poking a bit of fun at himself. If he’s back to making fun of himself and making funny commercials, maybe he’s finally feeling better.

Idiot of the Week

I’m sure the easy targets would be Kyle Williams or Billy Cundiff, since everyone is busting on them anyway. But no, those guys aren’t idiots. Everyone has a bad day at the office now and again. They just happened to have their bad days on a big day for their respective company’s in front of millions of people. Think of that the next time you forget to file your TPS report.

This week our idiots stay in the family. That’s right we put the crown of idiot onto the heads of John and Jim Harbaugh.

John garners his share of the honor for his horrible game mismanagement as time was running out on the Ravens’ season. With but seconds remaining on the play clock, the field goal unit rushed onto the field and rapidly set up for what should have been a chip shot, game tying field goal. However, due to the rushed circumstances, Cundiff was not ready and missed the kick, ending the Ravens season. Harbaugh, who was a special teams coach before taking the helm in Baltimore, should have been smart enough to see that his kicking unit was unprepared and not ready. He had a time out left that could have been used to slow things down, get his kicker prepared and ready to go. Yet he chose not to use this, and the rest is history. Harbaugh, you were a special teams coach, you should have known better you idiot.

Jim gets his award for showing that he is disrespectful, a sore loser and a big baby. In the post game, Harbaugh met Tom Coughlin for the traditional handshake, and basically just gave Coughlin’s hand a dismissive pump as he walked past the Giants coach. Somewhere I imagine Jim Schwartz was laughing gleefully. So baby didn't like losing and went about pouting. I ask who's really surprised at Harbaugh’s immature antics. Remember, this is the same guy who missed several games in 1997 due to a broken hand because Jim Kelly called him a baby in an interview and Harbaugh went after him. He was an idiot then, and since history repeats itself, he’s an idiot now.

On Tap This Week

Short of Bernard Pollard blowing up Brady’s knee again late in the 4^th quarter, I think I got everything else I wanted from last weekend.

Last week: 2-0

Season to Date: 177 - 90

Ok, well there is a “game” this weekend, so we might as well look at them. Thanks to hockey having their all star break this weekend too, we have nothing better to do.

Sunday

NFL Pro Bowl AFC vs. NFC

If you watched 5 seconds of this game, you watched more than I did. I refuse to watch until the NFL stops false advertising (it’s not all the best players in the NFL since representatives from two teams are not there as they prepare for the Super Bowl) and moves the game to where it belongs, the week after the Super Bowl so it can once again become the methadone that helps us come down from our football fix in preparation for the long, dark off season. Sigh

No one wins

The Crystal Ball 2011 The Championships

With only a few hours to think about it, I can already tell you I do not like living in a world where Joe Paterno is no longer around. I can guarantee I’m not the only one either. Rest in peace JoePa.

Opening Kickoff

How pissed, in private of course, will Peyton be if Eli goes on to win his second Super Bowl ring? Eli should make a big show of giving one to Cooper, something Peyton could never do. I bet that would make Thanksgiving in the Manning household a tad uncomfortable.

The Way It Was

NFL representatives have been on site of each game reviewing plays to make sure trainers don’t miss players with potential concussions. NFL players, fans, and teams should be thanking James Harrison for this. Because when Harrison hit McCoy and the Browns botched it, this change was deemed necessary and instituted. Harrison and his head has been the leading proponent for change in the NFL regarding its concussion policies. He’s a hero, not a villain.

49ers 36 – Saints 32

Who had Alex Smith driving the 49ers 86 yards in less than 2 minutes for the game winning drive? Anyone? No? I didn’t think so.

The Saints turned ball over 5 times, and it haunted them. San Francisco didn’t capitalize on the turnovers very well, but the 13 points they did generate from Saints miscues turned out to be just enough

New Orleans looked disjointed and out of rhythm all game long. It wasn’t until the 4^th quarter their offense looked explosive and dynamic.

And I knew the Saint defense were not world beaters but giving up 36 points?

I know everyone’s surprised about Alex Smith playing such a tremendous game against the Saints, but we shouldn't be. After all, there were multiple reasons he was a number one draft pick. On top of that, despite having 7 offensive coordinators over his career, he still managed to hang around amongst the turmoil, which shows both his talent and resolve. Is it such a stretch that now with some stability and positive coaching influencing him he's finally reaching some of that potential seen on draft day?

The victory was a feel good win for the team and the fans of San Francisco. I mean watching Vernon Davis crying after scoring the go ahead touchdown with 9 seconds remaining you have to feel good for a guy like that. Just watching that level of unbridled joy is exhilarating. But before we get too far on this bandwagon, let’s clear up a few items.

First of all, come on, 49er rally towels? Give me a break. Yes, I know Pittsburgh was not the first team to come up with such a gimmick, and yes, I know, we don't have exclusive rights to said gimmick. But by now, any team that does such gimmick just looks like their coming up with a cheap knockoff of the Terrible Towel. Don't argue you do look that way.

And let's stop calling Vernon Davis' touchdown "the grab" I know it's been a long time since 49er playoff glory, but there's no need to pervert the past by trying to apply it to the present.

And Harbaugh quit acting like an asshole. His team is playing its biggest game and engineering its greatest victory in years, and he spent half the game looking perplexed as if he was trying to figure out who cut the cheese. Every week he makes it harder for casual fans to root for his team.

That being said, a tremendous win by San Francisco. But you know what, the more Jim Harbaugh wins, and the bigger games he wins, the more atrocious Mike Singletary looks as a head coach.

Patriots 45 – Broncos 10

I guess we should have all realized that Jesus loves Tom Brady more than Tim Tebow.

Woof the Patriots took the Broncos to the woodshed. Do you think that perhaps Brady got a little sick of all the Tebow talk?

Since the game was over by halftime, there’s really not much to say about it. I will say this. No offense Denver, but better you than us.

But once again, for no good reason Belichick left Brady in late in the game risking injury. He should have been out of the game before the 4^th quarter. Here’s hoping Belichick pays for his insolence. Although I did like Brady’s drop kick.

Von miller, I know it was a bad game, but come, you gotta keep your head about you. Starting a fight is no way to end a season.

Ravens 20 – Texans 13

I wasn’t sure if Baltimore would have enough left in the tank to take on the Texans after playing two Super Bowls already this season. It turns out they did, color me surprised.

Actually, I think it may have been three Super Bowls so far. After the Ravens won the AFC north in Cincinnati during week 17 they broke out division championship hats and t-shirts. I think that does count as a third Super Bowl. I’m just serving sour grapes. I’m sure if my team only won a division championship every 5-6 years I’d be celebrating too.

Despite Ed Reed’s gimpy ankle, Ray Lewis’ age and Joe Flacco’s fu Manchu mustache, the Ravens managed to squeak by a rookie third string quarterback playing on the road in his first ever playoff game.

Giants 37 – Packers 20

The Packers receivers coach should have done a discount double check on his players’ hands, because not one of them could seem to hold onto a football.

Yes, Greg Jennings fumbled. Everyone knows. But the Giants won the game despite getting jobbed on the call and the replay. So let’s move on.

Ok, shame on me for making fun. Eli Manning is an elite quarterback in the NFL and should be mentioned amongst them. Amazing how much the guy has shined this season when you take away his brothers oversized shadow.

I think this sums it up for all Packer fans.

The Steel Pit

Offensive coordinator Bruce Arians retired this week amid rumors of changes coming for the Steelers’ coaching staff. Whether Bruce retired, or was forced out by Tomlin, Art Rooney II or just didn’t have his contract renewed is still a matter of conjecture. But the team felt that the underachieving offense needed a change and in some manner affected a change.

Arians’ offense, and specifically his play calling, have been a point of contention for many Pittsburgh fans and often criticized. I am no exception from that group. I mean come on, how many failed bubble screens can you call before you realize the play is just not working? But I digress.

I will always thank Arians for one thing. No not the Super Bowl trips and the win, that’s obvious. I thank him for changing perceptions regarding offensive football in Pittsburgh. Too often too many Steeler fans felt the only way to be successful was to run the ball, and when that didn’t work you had to run more. The pass seemingly was akin to nuclear waste, only to be handled in emergencies and only with much trepidation and fear. Arians moved the offense away from that archaic thinking, started working in a more modern passing offense and showed fans that not only can you win games passing first, but that it was ok to do so and still fit into the Pittsburgh way of doing things. He allowed stubborn fans to like a passing game, and by doing so helped change perceptions regarding what constituted the Steeler offense.

For many fans, this is a drastic sea change of thinking, and it wasn’t an easy change. But Arians stayed his course, suffered the slings and arrows and helped build a new outlook for fans to the point that now people were calling for his head because the passing game was not good enough. So for changing those long held perceptions, I will always be thankful for the work Bruce Arians did for the team and hope that he does finds enjoyment in retirement.

In other news, as the team begins to decide who should stay or go as they work through their crippling cap issues, Hines Ward stated that he would take a severe pay cut to remain with the team. I know it may not make sense from a few logical viewpoints, but I think the team should do this and not think twice. Don’t let one of your team leaders play his last season or two in another uniform that would not be right guys.

Big Douche settled his sexual assault civil suit this week, very quietly with no details regarding any monetary settlement. I’m sure money exchanged hands, and I’m sure it was substantial.

Running backs coach Kirby Wilson is still hospitalized in critical condition from the effects of a fire at his house earlier this month. Prayers and thoughts for Kirby to turn a positive corner soon.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

According to a recent survey, Tim Tebow is the most desired celebrity neighbor. It’s a beautiful day in his neighborhood.

Apparently, Joe Flacco is so nonplussed about playoff pressure he’s been skateboarding in his driveway. The last professional athlete to win a championship with a mustache like that was Hulk Hogan. Do you really want to put Joe Flacco into the same group as the Hulkster?

O.J. Simpson’s lawyers are stating a bank is foreclosing on Simpson’s Florida home. How can he still afford lawyers?

The Broncos have announced that Tim Tebow will be their incumbent starter for the 2012 season. I wonder what may have prompted that decision….

In the final Tebow segment this week, it was reported that Tebow played through injuries during the Patriots game. Yes, I’m sure he did, just like every player on the field that weekend. Come on guys, if you want to find a Tebow story, find a better one. Every player plays with an injury, that’s nothing special.

Peyton Manning wants to stay in Indianapolis. I don’t think that choice will be up to him much longer.

Oh look, Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant was detained by police. Oh he’s a winner isn’t he?

With their season over, now the Packers have moved on to making tough personnel decisions, including what to do with fan favorite and aging wide receiver Donald Driver. Packer fans, I know how you feel. Have you met Hines Ward?

LaDainian Tomlinson joined the Jets fracas, piling on and ripping the team and calling Mark Sanchez pampered. You know what’s most telling in all of this? Sanchez has yet to say anything even to just defend himself.

New Miss America, Laura Kaeppeler from Wisconsin, wants Aaron Rodgers to give her a call. Perhaps she just wants to find a better car insurance rate.

The Kansas City Star published an article detailing the distrust, anxiety and paranoia currently prevailing within the Chiefs organization. Who would have thought an organization run by Scott Pioli, who learned his skills at the foot of Bill Belichick, would create an atmosphere of distrust and paranoia?

Apparently, hidden amongst his defensive skills is an offensive mind, since Ravens safety Ed Reed piped up for no explainable reason his opinion of Joe Flacco’s performance against Houston and his opinions on how the offense should run. This of course sparked much discussion and controversy, prompting other players to defend Flacco and culminating in Reed and Flacco staging a fake fight to diffuse any tension and illustrate no hard feelings between the teammates. That’s right Baltimore, focus on anything but the Patriot offense. Good thinking. You’ve made yourselves front runners for next week’s idiot.

And outside the NFL news, former receiver Terrell Owens has announced he will play this season in the Indoor Football League. This news is too sad and pathetic to make a joke.

Duck Duck Coach

Chicago – There is no word on a new offensive coordinator or a general manager, although it takes time to get these things right.

Indianapolis – In a surprise to absolutely no one, the team fired Jim Caldwell as well as a slew of assistant coaches. Poor Peyton doesn't have a friend left in Indianapolis. If I were him, I'd start looking around at teams with decent offenses but horrendous quarterback situations for a potential new job because it more and more that he'll be next on Irsay’s house cleaning list.

Miami – The Dolphins got a clue and hired a decent coach, Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin. Hopefully Joe and his family can find a new life in Miami to help ease the pain of losing their son tragically.

New Orleans – Hired former Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo to replace Gregg Williams at defensive coordinator. Does this count as a trade? Since Spagnuolo was a head coach, do the Saints need to throw in cash or a future assistant coach?

Oakland – No word yet on the first head coach of the Mark Davis era.

St. Louis – The team also hired Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams to run their defense. They did see the game in San Francisco, right?

Tampa Bay – If they hired anyone of note, it escaped my eyes.

He Said He Said

"This game isn't about wins and losses. It's about relationships." Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis after Baltimore's win over the Texans

That’s an easy statement to make after you win.

"That's the pretty boy. That's the man of the NFL. That's Mr. Do-It-All. So everybody is going to hold that against me but I don't care" – Ravens defensive back Bernard Pollard, known previously as the Kansas City Chief who destroyed Brady’s knee in week 1 of the 2008 season and torpedoed the Patriots that year

Is it too much to ask Bernard for a repeat performance?

"I'm sure if we win, I'll have nothing to do with why we won.'' -- Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco the Houston game

Good gravy, he should be working for the Psychic Friends Network with prognostication skills like that.

"It's one of the few I've actually thrown up. I've never had one completed before . . . on our side." – Giants quarterback Eli Manning on his end of the half Hail Mary pass to give the Giants a commanding halftime lead.

Oh, that wacky Eli and his wry sense of humor. Maybe he should host Saturday Night Live….

"I didn't think it was going to end tonight. We had a championship-caliber regular season and didn't play well today. Personally, I didn't play as well as I wanted to." – Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers

It’s funny how everyone seems to forget each year that of the 12 teams who enter the playoffs, 11 of them finish the season with a loss. Yet when that loss comes, everyone is surprised.

“The phrase "divisional playoffs.'' Stupid title for the weekend.” – SI.com’s Peter King

The great and powerful NFL Oz has spoken. We must now come up with a new name for this weekend of playoff football, lest he spite more good players by withholding his vote for the Hall of Fame. Yup, King is a voting member of the Hall of Fame I’m surprised he hasn’t sent out a reminder tweet in case anyone has forgotten over the past few days.

“Joe was kind of rattled a little bit by that defense. They had a lot of guys in the box on him and they were giving it to him. I think a couple of times he needed to get rid of the ball. It just didn’t look like he had a hold on the offense.” – Ravens safety Ed Reed on Joe Flacco

"My quarterback can go out and beat anybody. Anybody." – Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs defending Flacco

Hey Baltimore, are you too dumb to know distractions kill? Have you not read my Super Bowl picks the last few years? Why would you, you weren’t involved. Ha ha ha.

Idiot of the Week

You know what’s great about the playoffs? Everyone steps up their game, including potential idiots. Oh, it’s like a buffet and I just cannot decide.

Maybe I’ll start with a sampling of Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, whose defensive game plan gave up 36 points to one of the least dynamic offenses in the NFL. No, tastes too much like road kill.

Maybe I’ll try this Bill Leavy, who blew a horrible call in Green Bay, and the subsequent review. Wow Bill Leavy blowing calls in the playoffs? Sorry I’ve had this dish before. I don’t want leftovers.

What about some Von Miller, who lost his cool in New England and started a fight near the end of the game. Yes that’s dumb but who hasn’t lost their cool against the Patriots? That’s a stale dish.

Oh, this looks great! Yes, I’ll have a heaping helping of Packers defensive coordinator Dom Capers as my idiot this week.

The Packers played an awful defensive game in general, but their defensive stance on final play of the first half was cover your eyes atrocious. The Giants with only seconds remaining lined up on the Green Bay 37 yard line for one final play. If they are not going to attempt a long field goal, there is only one logical place for a pass to go, which is into the end zone.

Yet Capers, supposedly the true genius behind the fire zone blitz, did not pick up on this obvious strategy. There were only two Green Bay defensive backs in the end zone to cover three Giant receivers. The remaining Packer secondary was outside the end zone. Why? Why weren’t they all crowding the receivers in anticipation of a Hail Mary pass?

Capers blew an obvious defensive call, and hastened the end of Green Bay’s season. Dom, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Funny I foolishly point out who I don’t want to win the Super Bowl, and all but one of those teams won to move on to this round. That figures.

Last week: 2-2

Season to Date: 175 - 90

Paid for it with the standings too. Well, let’s look at how things are shaping up for a trip to the Super Bowl this week. I think I’d be happy if we could just avoid having the Harbaugh Bowl. Two weeks of listening to constant stories about those two would make me long for a Rex and Rob Ryan documentary.

Sunday

AFC Championship Game - Baltimore (13-4) at New England (14-3)

Let’s see, do I want the hated division rival for which my loathing knows no bounds, or the team of successful cheaters who could tie records set by my favorite team’s coach and quarterback decades ago? This is not picking a football winner, its Sophie’s choice! Ok, I’ll just hold my nose and get it over with.

Patriots over Ravens

NFC Championship Game - New York Giants (11-7) at San Francisco (14-3)

Giants vs. 49ers in the NFC Championship game, what is this a rerun of I Love the 80’s?

New York is obviously peaking at the right time. San Francisco looked tremendous in their thrilling last second win over New Orleans. But something tells me they blew their emotional fuse, and are primed for a letdown game. Although I have been wrong before.

Giants over 49ers