The Crystal Ball 2012 Week 15

For reasons on which I shall not elaborate, this week we will only feature the picks. Call it a pseudo bye week. Tune in next week for a full complement of nonsense.

On Tap This Week

Ok, this is why I hate these Thursday games. They're so hard to pick ahead of time. Last week I thought Cincinnati, but after watching the games, I felt good about Philly so I took a chance. And we all know how that worked out.

Last week: 10-5

Thursday: 0-1

Season to Date: 134-75

Oh well. What is one to do?

Sunday

Green Bay (9-4) at Chicago (8-5)

Congratulations 2012 NFC North champion Green Bay Packers! Is that a bit presumptuous? I don't think so.

Packers over Bears

Indianapolis (9-4) at Houston (11-2)

Ok, so I was wrong. Belichick preferred to go the smack around an upstart contender route last week and trounced Houston. The Texans are a good team, obviously, and this week they have a chance to exorcise some Colt related nightmares. They will do this handily.

Texans over Colts

Denver (10-3) at Baltimore (9-4)

Baltimore approaching full panic mode, fired offensive coordinator Cam Cameron. I'm sorry, but this will not stem the tide of the impending collapse. Not unless they fire Joe Flacco too. Just watch, this is the Exposure, week 2.

Broncos over Ravens

Jacksonville (2-11) at Miami (5-8)

Hey, it's the Florida Bowl! It would be more fun if Tebow was involved, though.

Dolphins over Jaguars

Washington (7-6) at Cleveland (5-8)

RGIII or no RGIII? That is the question. Right now, the best team in the AFC North is Cleveland. But Washington actually has something to play for, namely the NFC East division crown. I'll take a chance on Kirk Cousins.

Redskins over Browns

Minnesota (7-6) at St. Louis (6-6-1)

Strange, isn't it, that Minnesota seemed left for dead about a month ago. And today, even with Christian Ponder still involved, they could pass the once seemingly dominant Bears in the standings before seasons end. Isn't football grand?

Vikings over Rams

Tampa Bay (6-7) at New Orleans (5-8)

Here's what I'd love to see. A close game, with New Orleans holding a lead in the closing seconds. As the Saints go to kneel, they anticipate Schiano being a douchebag and storming the victory formation. Drew Brees just skips backward a few yards, lofts a ball to an unaccounted for receiver who bolts untouched to the end zone. That would put a definitive end to Schiano's antics.

Saints over Buccaneers

New York Giants (8-5) at Atlanta (11-2)

New York can no longer wait to turn it on in the playoffs. If they falter, either Washington, Dallas or both could catch and pass them in the division, and leave New York watching the playoffs from home. Call me crazy, but I have a feeling they will step up today.

Giants over Falcons

Seattle (8-5) at Buffalo (5-8)

Oooh, an international game, from lovely Toronto! Still won't help Buffalo.

Seahawks over Bills

Carolina (4-9) at San Diego (5-8)

Stupid Norv Turner. Stupid Phillip Rivers. Stupid Chargers.

Chargers over Panthers

Detroit (4-9) at Arizona (4-9)

It boggles my mind to think that at one point, Arizona was 4-0 and being talked about like a contender. Shocking. I fully expect to see a news story in the next few weeks about Larry Fitzgerald standing outside Kurt Warner's house with a boom box over his head blasting Peter Gabriel.

Lions over Cardinals

Kansas City (2-11) at Oakland (3-10)

Its the Draft Position Bowl! Oakland will win the game, and screw up their draft position. The Chiefs will hold strong, and have a top pick set for the next team management group.

Raiders over Chiefs

Pittsburgh (7-6) at Dallas (7-6)

Yay a trip to Jerry World! It will be so much fun seeing all those Terrible Towels in Jerry's castle. Ok, this actually should be an entertaining game since both teams have a punchers chance at a division crown. So Pittsburgh, this week I recommend two goals, one don't get Ben hurt and two, importantly, win the game.

Steelers over Cowboys

San Francisco (9-3-1) at New England (10-3)

Ahhh, finally you'll see me rooting for Bill Belichick to be Bill Belichick. Because I can think of no one better in the NFL to stick it to that raging douchebag Jim Harbaugh. That will actually be fun.

Patriots over Harbaugh

Monday

New York Jets (6-7) at Tennessee (4-9)

Yuck. I think I'll skip this one and just watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation again.

Titans over Jets

Saturday

Atlanta at Detroit

Now Saturday games, that I can get behind! Although this seems like a pretty crappy matchup. Eh, it doesn't matter who I pick today. I'm sure I'll change my mind at least a half dozen times before Saturday night.

Falcons over Lions