The Crystal Ball 2012 Week 6

Ok, I don't want to keep mining the same well, but this one is too good, I can't believe I didn't think of it before. So, allow me just one more Peyton commercial idea....

Olive Garden - He could bring in Archie and Eli and maybe even Cooper, the Manning family answer to Chuck Cunningham (star points if you get that reference). And hello, more noodle arm jokes. Eli holds up a fork full of spaghetti and says, hey Peyton, this looks like your arm in pre-game warm-ups! Peyton then grabs a breadstick and throws it at Eli, but the breadstick falls short, landing in a bowl of tomato bisque and splashing Archie. As they all laugh, the narrator throws out, at Olive Garden, when you're here you're family. Bingo. There's your CLIO Award.

Opening Kickoff

Hmm, well the referee situation has been corrected, Drew Brees has another NFL record. What possibly could occur now to keep the media obsessing? I got it. With one big win, we're now officially overdue for the coronation and overhyping of Andrew Luck.

The Way It Was

I got home from the Steeler game around 6:45 Sunday evening and turned on what was left of the Broncos/Patriots game. In the 1+ quarter of the game I did manage to catch, was nauseous from the constant fawning, attention and accolades ladled upon Brady and Manning. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms seem to be having some sort of competition as to who could suck up the most. Personally, I hope this is the last time these two play each other in this contrived-by-the-NFL rivalry. Because if its the end, then I won't have to hear about HOW THE NEXT GAME COULD BE THE LAST TIME. Was I watching a football game, or an overly dramatic romance movie on lifetime about the unfortunate parting of two long distance lovers?

Well, how about the Colts stunning the Packers. Huh, good thing Bruce Arians didn't "retire" for long. The only problem I had with the win was now we will hear constantly about how Luck is on his way to being next Manning. ugh.

Boy, for as much as the NFL loathes the Saints right now, it sure looked like they wanted to make sure they won the game in which Drew Brees broke Unitas' record. The calls against San Diego during their last drive couldn't have been more ticky tack if they were covered in Stick'um.

Denver ball, 4th-and-1 at the New England 47 a quick Manning toss McGahee in the right flat, who promptly muffs the catch and the Broncos turn over the ball. Who do you think Peyton missed more right then, Dallas Clark or Joseph Addai?

The Redskins cut kicker Billy Cundiff. Man, miss one kick in the AFC Championship game, and its all downhill from there.

RGIII took a wicked hit and left the game with a mild concussion. Yes, I know, funny how they can describe brain trauma as mild. Anyway, it makes me wonder. Does anyone else ever think certain head coaches, specifically Andy Reid and Ron Rivera, are going to get their athletic, running quarterbacks killed before they figure out best how to deploy them? I do, and I think now we can add Shanahan to that mix.

Roger Goodell, after reviewing all the evidence again, reissued the punishments in the BountyGate case. While like many I just feel fatigued of all of this, I am extremely intrigued still to see what happens with Jonathan Vilma's defamation case. Now there's where the real drama, and precedent, for the future lies.

Former Detroit Lion, actor, broadcaster, and all around renaissance man Alex Karras passed away this week. He had to have one of the most interesting lives related to professional sports. I'd say if everyone strived to accomplish and experience half of what Mr. Karras did, this would be one fascinating planet.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 16 - Eagles 14

Nice win, way too sloppy, entirely too many penalties, but a win is a win. Although if I see another annoying performance by Willie Colon (5 holding calls, 4 accepted) I'm gonna smack him upside his head.

Although the loss of Woodley and Polamalu will be painful. But at least James Harrison looked good in his return.

Oh, and attention Ryan Mundy. You now have a reputation. Yes your hit was clean, but if there's any doubt, officials will error on the side of you taking a penalty. I know it will seem next to impossible, but you have to find a way to make cleaner hits and tackles, or you are going to get tagged for a personal foul every game.

Steelers 23 - Titans 26

It's official. Pittsburgh stinks. If you're a fan like me, it's already a long season and only going to get longer. Just wait until we face a few good teams. Ugh.

All I heard all week from every media outlet and every person on the street was how terribly crappy the Titans were. Their offense was anemic, and now led by Matt Hasselbeck who couldn't run for 5 yards in 5 minutes. Their defense was a sieve who had averaged giving up 36 points a game, which the vaunted Pittsburgh passing game would exploit. And yet, we lost. The humiliation is palpable. But as we all know, if you let a bad team hang around, they will find a way to beat you. If you doubt this, see Steelers vs. Raiders, 2012 or Titans vs. Lions, 2012. And now, see Steelers vs. Titans, 2012.

I cannot wrap my head around how crappy Pittsburgh looked in this game. Let's look at it this way.

What I liked:

            The Big Play - Ben's bomb to Mike Wallace was long overdue. The only problem was it put the defense back on the field too soon. That and they only ran it once. Most likely because Wallace would have just muffed the catch.

            Record breaking - Big Ben passed Terry Bradshaw to become the all time Steelers passing yards leader. It's a shame he did it in yet another losing cause.

            Heath Miller - That catch on Pittsburgh's last drive was insane. It wasn't that it was just a one handed catch, which by itself is impressive. It was that he caught the ball by the end of it. How hard is that? Level of difficulty: 11.

And that's it.

What I didn't like:

            Keenan Lewis - Strutting around after making one tackle - You're supposed to do that moron. Cover a receiver! How many times did you get burned Keenan?

            Antonio Brown, Mike Wallace, Drew Butler, Isaac Redman (retroactively) - It's called ball security. Learn it you clowns. Hey, here's a thought. How about starting to act like you've been there before instead of celebrating like an 8th grader at his first dance after every pedestrian play.

            Injuries - Really, now Pouncey, Redman, Mendenhall, Clark and Gilbert?

            Attitude - The entire first half the team had a lackadaisical look like all they needed to do was show up, and it's a win in the bank. Guess what? Tennessee had a different idea.

            Dick LeBeau - Dick, I know you run the zone coverage to limit the big play. But when your defense is getting nickel and dimed to death down the field for drives of 16 plays and 80+ yards and the opponent, in this case the horrific Titans who may never win ANOTHER GAME, this season, and still they manage to score a touchdown, perhaps it's time to try something else.

            Bubble screen - Come on Todd Haley, no one liked it, nor did it work, when Bruce Arians ran it. Why keep going to a dry well?

            Cee-Lo Green - Ok, this had nothing to do with the game, but damn, I just cannot stand that crap he's selling.

            Penalties - This is getting out of control.

            Defense - WRAP YOUR ARMS. I know you guys know how to tackle. How about you prove it to me. Also, way to make Chris Johnson look like a real running back again. Plus, congratulations on reviving Matt Hasselbeck's career and making him look 8 years younger. You'd think he hit the Fountain of Youth before the game.

            Kickoff team - seriously, how is a runner coming from 8 yards deep in his own end zone consistently getting out past the 20?

            Brad Nessler - Did you learn the pronunciation, or names, of any of the Steelers players before the game?

            Blaming Suisham - I know he missed that last kick. But it was 2 yards beyond his career long, which he matched earlier in the game. If this offense with it's high powered receiving corps cannot get closer than 54 yards from a field goal, then the blame should be laid at their feet, not Shaun Suisham. His kick may have been short, but at least it was on target.

And you thought the loss to the Raiders was humiliating. It's gonna be a long season, and now, I'm openly wondering if we'll make the 600 win plateau. I know it's early, and there's lots of season left. But with how busy life is,

It may be time to detach. I cannot take yet another crappy Pirates season, which at one point held such long awaited hope, followed by a crappy Steelers season without a soon-to-be cancelled Penguins season to balance it out. My brain, and emotions, need a break.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Unemployed receiver Terrell Owens tweeted for the Jets to call his agent during New York's Monday Night Football game. T.O., Tebow, New York....Oh my goodness. This is like a tabloid come to life. What do I need to do, as a football fan, to make this train wreck a reality?

Redskins defensive end Adam Carriker lost a bet with wrestler Bill Goldberg, so Carriker had to dress up as a wrestler. I don't know, from the picture, Carriker doesn't look all that upset at paying off his debt.

A group of Chiefs fans paid to have a banner flyover the stadium prior to kickoff. The banner called for GM Scott Pioli to be fired and Matt Cassel to be benched. The KC natives are beyond restless.

Buccaneer head coach Greg Schiano's son has been suspended for the season in High School football. The younger Schiano swore at a referee during a game, and the punishment in Florida for such behavior is an automatic 6 game suspension. I guess bad sportsmanship runs in the family

I found this hilarious link on the front page of NFL.com on\Monday.

'Coaches Show': Arians needs balance

Balance, that made me laugh out loud. Isn't a lack of balance why he "retired" from Pittsburgh?

Upon Further Review

I have a question for Roger Goodell. How is making teams play consecutive games in 4 days helping player safety? Did you watch the Steelers/Titans tilt Thursday night? Players from both teams were dropping like flies.

This is actually a growing point of contention with more than a few observers of the NFL. There is a growing cadre of journalists that have started banging the drum of hypocrisy at the NFL, openly questioning how a league can be concerned about player safety yet sending teams out to play on three days rest with barely a time to heal nagging injuries. Gene Collier of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette penned this commentary on the practice, which was published on Thursday. Considering the content, and the injuries the Steelers suffered later in the evening, Collier has either a well-timed article or the ability to see into the future. If it's the latter, Gene, quick, what are next week's lottery numbers?

But I'm nothing if not pragmatic, and a fan of more football, so I will take a different route. The NFL wants Thursday Night Football. The players, fans, media and other assorted groups want improved safety conditions. Everyone relax, I have a solution.

As the NFL schedules it's annual London tilt, both teams that play in merry old England are given a bye week after the trip to help combat the travel, game, exhaustion and other logistics of playing overseas. Why not apply the same rules to Thursday night scheduling?

Teams can only be eligible to play on Thursday if they' were on a bye the previous week. It would work like this. Let's use a recent week for example. In Week 4, Pittsburgh and Indianapolis had the bye, the first one of the season. Since they were off on the Sunday of Week 4, they would be eligible kick off Week 5 on Thursday night. Then neither team would be required to play again until the Sunday of Week 6. So their schedules would be:

Week 3 - Sunday Game

Week 4 - Bye

Week 5 - Thursday Game

Week 6 - Sunday Game

No, it wouldn't be two full weeks between games, as bye weeks typically award. But it would keep teams from having to stack games 4 days apart and create an increased risk of injury. Considering how many players went out of the game injured Thursday night, I'm imagining Pittsburgh would be the first one to sign up for this plan.

And yes, unless we start bye weeks right away, most likely Week 2 through Week 4 would be without Thursday night games. But isn't part of the fun of getting something you really want the anticipation?

This plan can appease everyone. The players get a little extra rest and don't have to plow through 2 games in 4 days. Yet they still would be playing only 2 games in a three week period. Goodell gets to keep making extra money while still pretending he gives a crap about the safety of the players. The media get another game to cover, and the time to find something new to complain about. And as fans, we get to keep having ridiculous amounts of football each week.

Now was that so hard?

He Said He Said

“That has been an issue with Willie at times, in terms of over-aggression,” Tomlin said. “But I’d rather say ‘Whoa’ than ‘Sic ‘em.’ ” - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on guard Willie Colon and  his repeated holding penalties

Hey Mike, it's time to say Whoa.

"A little sprinkle of Tebow. That's pretty much what we are expecting." - Colts defensive end Cory Redding

Well, as the song says, just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in a most delightful way.

"Ray Lewis, who really got pushed around by the Chiefs. That weight loss looks like it's hurting him a lot. He just isn't a factor against the run the way he used to be." - Si.com's Peter King

I'm glad I'm not t he only one who can see it. Although I'm probably enjoying it more than most.

"I'm just not someone to tolerate Pulp Fiction." - Rams COO Kevin Demoff, on fainting during a staff meeting while hearing details regarding receiver Danny Amendola's impending surgery

I don't consider myself overly squeamish, but I'm with Demoff here. If I had to hear in detail about how Amendola's clavicle popped inward, was close to his heart and the surgery would be risky and how the surgeon would go about...Ok, just giving the highlights is making me queasy.

"It's kind of nice to stick it in Bill's face every once in a while. So this is definitely a good one." - Patriots receiver Wes Welker

Oh I don't care whether it was a joke or not. I still found it funny hearing a Patriot stick it to Belichick.

"When you cheer someone getting knocked out ... it's sickening. It's 100 percent sickening. I've been in some rough times on some rough teams, and I've never been more embarrassed in my life to play football than in that moment right there ... We're not gladiators. This is not the Roman Coliseum. It is not OK. It is not OK." - Chiefs tackle Eric Winston on Chiefs fans cheering Matt Cassel getting injured.

You stay classy, Kansas City

"You know, I don't feel so sick right now." - Colts head coach Chuck Pagano when the game ball was delivered to him by owner Jim Irsay

A few more of those will go a long way to help the healing. A positive attitude always helps the body.

"If I were you, I would learn how to be a little bit nicer. I know you don't care and nor do I care if I ever sit down and do an interview with you -- which I have yet to do. Maybe there's a reason for that. I like everybody. I'd like to like you but right now I don't like you. Grow up, young man." - Terry Bradshaw on Jay Cutler during the FOX pregame show Sunday

Ooooooooh BURN! Ha ha ha. I love it. Sic 'em Terry!

Idiot of the Week

Obviously, the award goes to a small group of select Chiefs fans for cheering when quarterback Matt Cassel was injured.

I know, easy target. And more than a few people have stood on their soapboxes to chastise the disgruntled fans letting their frustrations out in unproductive ways. Not that I blame them. The Chiefs are a mess right now, their upper management is screwed up, their ownership seems hands off at best, and their coaching staff are inept and bumbling. Unfortunately, this is not a new situation for Chiefs fans. And it's hard to blame them for letting their frustrations bubble over.

But come on guys, you're better than that. We as fans are better than that. At least I hope we are. Don't cheer when a player gets hurt. I know you're ticked off and want something to change. But be better than the lowest common denominator. Be creative, like the fans who hired the plane before the game. That's thinking outside the box. Try other things to get ownership to notice they have a problem. Dress in the visiting teams colors. Stage a walk in, and by that I mean everyone hang out in the parking lots and tailgate through the first quarter., When the team has been forced to be seen on television with a mostly empty stadium, then enter to watch the game. Think of this kind of thing. Turn that frustration into a positive.

By cheering when a player gets hurt, your own player of whom you're incredibly disappointed, you prove that you are no better than Philadelphia fans, and for that you are all idiots.

An alternate idiot crown is awarded to Eagles defensive back Kurt Coleman. During Sunday's game against Pittsburgh, Coleman jumped up and landed, spikes first, on center Maurkice Pouncey's back and ripped off Antonio Brown's shoe off after tackle and threw it out of bounds, forcing Brown to sit out a play. Nothing like acting like a child during the game. Come on Coleman, there's no way these tactics will work. If they did, I'd be encouraging Ike Taylor to try them.

On Tap This Week

Ok, it's been so brutal lately, I'm afraid to look.

Last week: 9-4

Thursday: 0-1

Season to Date: 40-38

Wow, look at that! A good showing, and I'm finally back in the plus column for wins and losses. Hey, let's say we screw it up by making some wacky picks right out of left field? Yeah? Ok then let's do it!

Sitting at home, three teams with quarterbacks trying to figure out how they can get themselves traded to the fourth team….

Carolina, Chicago, Jacksonville, New Orleans

Sunday

Kansas City (1-4) at Tampa Bay (1-3)

So far, it would seem the Patriots West experiment is going poorly.

Buccaneers over Chiefs

Dallas (2-2) at Baltimore (4-1)

I think it's time, well overdue actually, for everyone to see that Baltimore's defense is a shell of it's former self and can be exploited. And what better team to do it than Dallas coming off a bye and feeling like they have to prove something.

Cowboys over Ravens

St. Louis (3-2) at Miami (2-3)

Ok, I've seen enough to say, I'm intrigued by Miami.

Dolphins over Rams

Oakland (1-3) at Atlanta (5-0)

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Falcons over Raiders

Detroit (1-3) at Philadelphia (3-2)

Call it overconfidence for what a bye week can do.

Lions over Eagles

Cincinnati (3-2) at Cleveland (0-5)

I'm probably going to pay for this dearly. But I think this might be time for the Browns to finally get a win. I'm already regretting this....

Browns over Bengals

Indianapolis (2-2) at New York Jets (2-3)

I'm not sure if I believe more in the inspired Indianapolis team or I believe less in Rex Ryan's charges.

Colts over Jets

Buffalo (2-3) at Arizona (4-1)

Yes, there are some obvious smoke and mirrors in Arizona, but Buffalo doesn't even have those.

Cardinals over Bills

New England (3-2) at Seattle (3-2)

Home field advantage my fanny. You think Belichick gives a crap about that?

Patriots over Seahawks

New York Giants (3-2) at San Francisco (4-1)

Oh my goodness, it's the meaningless NFC Championship game rematch! Don't you just love how they make such a big deal about nothing? Well, 49er fans, you'll get your meaningless moral victory.

49ers over Giants

Minnesota (4-1) at Washington (2-3)

Minnesota still has my attention.

Vikings over Redskins

Green Bay (2-3) at Houston (5-0)

This is Green Bay's season. They lose, and it's all over. They get lucky since Brian Cushing is out for the season, and I think they have the stones to stand up and make it happen.

Packers over Texans

Monday

Denver (2-3) at San Diego (3-2)

This game will decide who's more overrated.

Chargers over Broncos

Thursday

Seattle at San Francisco

Barring something crazy....

49ers over Seahawks