The Crystal Ball 2012 Week 1

The NFL kicked off the season with an unveiling of 32 team flags designed by fans. That Steelers' flag looks pretty sweet, and would probably look even sweeter taking the place of the Jolly Roger flag currently flying outside my house. Time to go shopping!

Opening Kickoff

The Dallas Cowboys became the first team to defeat the defending Super Bowl champions in the season opening game since the format was adopted in 2004. Couple that with the news that Dallas is the first American sports team valued at over $2 Billion, Jerry Jones is having a darned good week. I guess he found himself some glory hole.

The Way It Was

Former Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens owner Art Modell passed away at the age of 87. Modell was a long time voice and force amongst the fraternity of owners in the NFL since purchasing the Browns in 1961. Modell was once a respected and revered presence within the Cleveland community, working with numerous charities and causes while striving to bring championships to the devoted Browns fans. Modell's work within the league, especially with negotiations regarding television contracts, helped build the league into the behemoth it is today.

At one point in time Modell was as beloved in Cleveland as the Rooney family is in Pittsburgh. But then for a litany of  reasons, including monetary, Modell pulled the Browns from Cleveland and moved them to Baltimore. While he did leave the team name, colors and records behind, for many he will be remembered only for this seemingly callous act and not for the multitude of other deeds he did throughout his life. Regardless of how you may feel about Modell, he was a driving force in the expansion of the NFL much like Al Davis. And much like with Davis' passing, another giant of NFL history, and the thousands of stories he could tell, are now lost to the ages. Rest in peace Mr. Modell.

The NFL appeals panel overturned the suspension of the four players named in the Saints Bounty gate scandal and are eligible to play this weekend. Although, Goodell could still suspend them, and you know he's working overtime this weekend to figure out how and more importantly, how to make it stick. Goodell doesn't like to lose, just ask the National Football League Referees Association.

The Steel Pit

The Pittsburgh Steelers this year will celebrate not only their 80th season of NFL football, but also the 40th anniversary of the Immaculate Reception, one of the most iconic plays in NFL history. It'll be a big year in the 'Burgh. Unfortunately, they're also unveiling a new throwback uniform, which I can almost guarantee I'll get to see in person in the one game I'm lucky enough to attend all season. Grrrrr.

The team also unveiled a new public service campaign to raise awareness and education regarding concussions, the first of it's kind anywhere. Where's your concussion education program, Heir Goodell?

And finally, the Steelers need only 9 wins to become the first AFC team with 600 victories. Yes, I feel strongly enough they will achieve this goal, so yes, there will be a victory watch. Come on, Hines retired, I need something to count down each week and reporting on the expanding length of Brett Keisel's beard just seemed odd.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

There is now a version of the popular game Angry Birds featuring the Philadelphia Eagles. If they wanted authenticity they should have made it featuring Eagle fans.

A third grader in the Weld County School System in Colorado had to remove his Peyton Manning jersey as part of an anti-gang policy. Apparel that features the numbers 13, 14, 18, 31, 41 and 81 is banned in the school district for possible gang affiliation. I understand the ban and policy, but are we really worried about third grade gang bangers in Colorado?

Speaking of schools, an Oregon high school unveiled it's brand new black turf football field. The school went with black over the traditional green because the turf company offered them a $150,000 discount if they used black. That sounds like a great savings. I bet the school would have saved even more if they realized high schools don't need field turf. Sure sounds like a case of athletics over academics to me.

New Jaguars owner Shahid Khan dropped $3 Million to makeover the team's locker room facilities, which now rivals most 5 star hotels. The 2012 Jacksonville Jaguars, We Play Terrible in Luxury and Comfort!

Travie McCoy and Kelly Clarkson, Giants and Cowboys fans respectively, joined other artists with Pepsi to create anthems for their favorite NFL teams. Sorry Pepsi, you're way behind the curve because in Pittsburgh, we have a new fan anthem every week. And while I dig "Black and Yellow" a ton, Wiz Khalifa should know he's still got a way to go to become a "Renegade" level anthem.

Nostra-Who?

Despite putting forth more than a few purposely absurd, and a few actual, predictions at the start of last season, I maintain my stance that I find preseason predictions ridiculous. How can one really determine any outcome until there is actual verifiable data on which to base their forecasts?

However, I took some time to look over last year’s exercise in futility and you know what I discovered? I have a knack for prognosticating the seemingly obvious. By my count, I finished with a record of 25 correct, 10 incorrect and 3 preposterously not applicable. Of course, I relied on my caffeine riddled memory to recall the final results of a few predictions and I alone held final judgment on determining all correct/incorrect predictions. So yes, there may be a slightly biased margin of error. But still, that’s not too shabby.

So once again, I’ve dusted off this cheap column contrite and will make a prediction for every team this season, plus a few for the NFL in general just for fun. All predictions made with tongue firmly in cheek and all guaranteed to come true or your money back. Money back guarantee only valid with proof of purchase and original register receipt. And who knows, maybe this season I’ll track these through all 16 games. But since I doubt I’ll stumble across a satchel full of money that would free me from my day job, I wouldn't sit with bated breath anticipating a prediction tracker section. End disclaimer section, on to the fun!

·         At least three of the five rookie starting quarterbacks will at some point this season find themselves thrust into the backup role.

·         Browns fans will spend the first quarter of the season watching the free copy of “The Rookie” they received with their order of season tickets in hopes that their “over the hill” rookie can do it too.

·         Seattle will at some point unveil a 3rd alternate uniform even more garish than their home and away jerseys

·         Baltimore will find out that a leaner Ray Lewis is not as valuable as a healthy Terrell Suggs

·         English football fans will watch this year's game and wonder what they did to deserve St. Louis, until they catch a Jaguars game and realize they'll have them for 4 years

·         San Francisco will find out just how disgruntled and uninterested Randy Moss can be without a top flight quarterback

·         Norv Turner will do just enough to remain the Chargers head coach for 2013

·         New Orleans will play the nobody believed in us card to a playoff berth

·         Houston will find itself grateful it plays in such a weak division

·         Minnesota will lament playing in such a difficult division, and by Thanksgiving just openly day dream about their new stadium

·         By Week 6, Tim Tebow will be the starting quarterback for the New York Jets. By Week 11, Mark Sanchez will claim back his job

·         Neither Andy Reid's ineptitude at utilizing timeouts and challenges or Michael Vick's bold proclamations will sabotage another Eagles season. Employing an offensive line coach as defensive coordinator will do the job, again

·         Andy Dalton will find out it's difficult to throw passes to a double covered A.J. Green when there's no decent second option available

·         Roger Goodell will make SOMEONE pay for this

·         The Giants will once again employ their favorite motto, " Just be good enough to get to the playoffs!"

·         At some point, Peyton Manning will quietly lament to himself, "I miss Reggie Wayne"

·         Tampa Bay will unveil a new advertising campaign, "Come on out to the games, we still have a cool pirate ship!"

·         Dolphin fans will look back at the embarrassment that was "Hard Knocks" and call it the "highlight" of the season

·         Brian Urlacher and his breaking down body will sadly start looking like the last season of Dick Butkus by the end of the year

·         Despite having his full compliment of offensive weapons, Matt Cassel still will not look like the Matt Cassel of 2008

·         Robert Griffin III will be as good as advertised, but unfortunately Mike Shanahan and Dan Snyder will be as bad as advertised

·         Pittsburgh's "old" defense will look far more spry and not nearly as old as labeled thanks to young new defensive linemen and cornerbacks

·         Mike Smith and his Falcons will finally win a playoff game

·         When the real referees return, Ed Hochuli is taking someone to the "Gun Show"

·         New owner, new general manager, new head coach, same old Raiders

·         By mid-season, Larry Fitzgerald will be calling for any able bodied person to come down to Cardinal headquarters and apply for the job of NFL starting quarterback

·         After watching Jake Locker for a few games, Matt Hasselbeck will begin to wonder if he could take brother Tim's job at ESPN

·         Jerry Jones will at some point wonder out loud for no discernable reason if Chad Johnson would be a decent mid season addition

·         Bill Belichick will ruin 2 dozen more perfectly good sweatshirts so he can continue to cultivate his "look"

·         Ron Rivera will see if it's realistic to play Cam Newton on defense and special teams, and look into the feasibility of cloning

·         Colts fans will spend the first few weeks of the season watching their team with a printed copy of the team's official roster while mumbling, I miss Peyton

·         The Green Bay city council will have a meeting in November to determine which street to rename Aaron Rodgers Road

·         The Buffalo Bills will squeak into the playoffs. If this comes true I want a shipment of congratulatory wings sent to me from the Bills faithful as a thank you for believing from the start

·         Detroit will unveil their new motto for a potentially second successful season "This one's for George Plimpton!" Yes, I've been reading Paper Lions, and it's a darned good read

The Super Bust Watch

One of my favorite parts of the season is determining who will play in the still theoretical Super Bust. For the uninitiated to our all-star game, the Super Bust was born out of annoyance and frustration with media outlets attempting to prognosticate Super Bowl participants and glean an NFL champion without a single down of meaningful football played. I’ve maintained it’s a ridiculous exercise in futility, and continue to enjoy exposing the stupidity of those who insist on participating in choosing winners without any consequential data.

As longtime readers of The Crystal Ball are aware, The Super Bust would match the two consensus pre-season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. The creation of this game would fill the void in the week between the championship games and the Super Bowl, and provide the participating teams, fans, support businesses and the NFL at large with untold benefits.

Now when this concept was first introduced, the Pro Bowl was still played at its traditional time during the week after the Super Bowl. Since then, Goodell and the NFL saw fit to move the Pro Bowl between the conference championships and the Super Bowl, filling that football free void. So for the Super Bust to actually work, the Pro Bowl needs to return to its proper time, after the Super Bowl.

I can guarantee that this game would provide exciting football. The two chosen teams would be so bitter about not playing in the Super Bowl, despite being favorites to appear in the big game at the beginning of the season, and forced to play in a sideshow exhibition game they would take out their frustrations on each other. And with only the off season looming next week, all caution would be thrown to the wind. You want hard hitting slobber knocking football? The Super Bust would fit that bill. The game is that simple, and that genius. Plus, it would be fun to gather all the media talking heads together during the pregame show to discuss the participating teams, knowing these clubs were their choices to play for the Lombardi Trophy. Hello awkward conversation!

I’m sure you’re wondering if this would work. Would the pre-season favorites actually be available for the Super Bust, or would they defy my prediction and actually advance to the Super Bowl. To answer this question, let’s compare the 2007 through 2011 season’s preseason favorites to the teams that actually participated in the Super Bowl.

2011 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

2011 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

2009 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC - New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

2009 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – Indianapolis Colts

2008 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Dallas Cowboys

AFC – New England Patriots

2008 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – Arizona Cardinals

AFC – Pittsburgh Steelers

2007 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – New England Patriots

2007 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

A few items of note here. One, I did not do this prediction in 2010, my bad. Like most sports writers, I too get lazy, or burnt out, or just too busy with this pesky real job thing. Regardless, we do not have data for that year. Moving on.

Of all the picks, the 2007 and 2011 Patriots were the only pre-season favorites to actually advance to the Super Bowl. While being able to make it to the Super Bowl after a full season being a prohibitive favorite is a tremendous achievement, New England lost both games, including their chance at immortality and a 19-0 record in 2007, to the eventual champion New York Giants. Boy that is still fun to say.

Of all actual Super Bowl participants, none made the big game again the next season. That doesn’t seem to bode well for Patriot and Giant fans, now does it?

So what about the 2012 season? Well, after searching high and low and comparing picks from various media outlets, I have determined the consensus choices from the AFC and the NFC to represent their respective conferences in the Super Bowl. Those teams are….

2012 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

Alternates: Each conference also has an alternate choice, a team favored to make the Super Bowl, but not as highly as the overall choice. And since the inception of the Super Bust, there has actually been two preseason favorites that did meet expectations, so it’s good to keep an alternate choice in reserve for each conference. Because we still need the revenue from this imaginary game or the NFL will go broke.

NFC – San Francisco 49ers

AFC – Baltimore Ravens

So there you go, ladies and gentlemen, you’re choices for the 2012 Super Bust. Keep an eye on these teams throughout the season. Whilst others think they will go to and/or win the Super Bowl, I know they will only be in line for a Bust.

He Said He Said

"Football is just my job it's not who I am. I am an American before anything. And just like every American I have the right to speak!!!" - Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo in a Twitter response to Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns' letter to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti ordering Bisciotti to stop Ayanbadejo from publically speaking out in support of gay marriage and concentrate on football

I never thought this day would come, but here we are; I officially am a fan of a Ravens player. Remember everyone, we still have the right to speak our minds in this country, unlike many other nations around the world. Please use it for something more substantial than status updates on your daily chore list.

"It seems everyone forgets the four-time MVP hasn’t played in a competitive football game in 18 months, hasn’t felt the pressure of a blindside sack in seemingly forever, and is working with an offensive line that is not nearly as skilled or as talented as the one that protected him in Indianapolis." - Fox Sports.com writer Peter Schrager

Finally, someone said it!

''He has a ridiculous football character, he's smart. He works at it. He is a ridiculous competitor.'' - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on Peyton Manning

Mike Tomlin, quote machine. Wait, I got another one.

''Anything he's involved in resembles other things he's involved in because they're usually successful." - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on Peyton Manning

Win or lose, I look forward to weekly media days just for the Tomlin-isms. Rex Ryan wishes he were this entertaining.

"I'm the starting quarterback. It's nice to know that for your confidence, but at the same time, nothing was going to change how I came into the season, mentally and physically. I've said it before: Whether it was Peyton Manning or Tim Tebow, it didn't really matter. I was going to play, and I plan on playing well." - Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez

Well, at least until Week 4.

"I should ask you, why did you bring that up? Why do you continue to ask that question? What is the reasoning?" - 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, when asked by a reporter about Kyle Williams, who infamously flubbed two punts in last season's NFC championship game, slated for return duties again in the season opening game against Green Bay

Umm, because it's a big story and people want to know about the decision and Williams' state of mind. You know Ike Taylor still gets asked about getting burned by Tebow, right? Has this guy never dealt with the media before?

“He’s as fast as Michael Vick but he can make all the throws that Peyton Manning can make and he can make all the reads Tom Brady can make.” - Redskins receiver Josh Morgan on RGIII

I bet he also has moves like Jagger.

“I really like this team. I really like this team. I don’t know if we’re strong in this one area or that one area or special teams, whatever it is, but overall in my opinion this has the chance to be the best team I’ve had since I’ve been the coach here." - Jets head coach Rex Ryan

What, no Super Bowl proclamations? Rex must have lost some bravado along with the weight.

''Like anyone else that misses time, we don't cry a whole lot about people that are out. We expect those expected to play to play in an above the line manner.'' - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on players who will not be playing in the season opener in Denver

Personally and sincerely, I hope Tomlin, upon football retirement, pursues a career in politics. I'd love to hear him in a debate format, he would be awesomely ridiculous.

Idiot of the Week

This week, the crown was enthusiastically captured by Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns who was so offended by linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo and his public support of gay marriage it motivated Burns to send a letter to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti telling him he needs to "inhibit such expressions" from his players.

Now, no matter which side you may fall on in the gay marriage debate, although I find Burns' archaic views idiotic, the state delegate's actions are brainlessly dumb. Why some people spend so much time and energy concerning themselves with the private lives of others continually confounds me. And why he would care what a football player, who was most likely unknown outside of Baltimore before this, would think makes no sense. What's additionally troubling is how clueless Burns seems to be regarding our rights and freedoms as citizens of this country and how businesses work.

By demanding Bisciotti inhibit his players and order Ayanbadejo to stop speaking out, Burns is trying to quash freedom of speech. I wonder where our society is headed when elected officials find it perfectly acceptable to openly attempt to shackle the right of free speech from citizens and businesses with no shame or concern or even fear of repercussions. This is a sad moment in our political history, and spits in the face of all the things our forefathers fought so hard to establish and protect.

If Ayanbadejo wants to show his support for gay marriage, or troops overseas or even drive thru taco stands, he has as much right as anyone to speak out about it. In fact, I find it refreshing and positive that a professional athlete is educated on current issues and using his unique position in popular culture for something other than boosting his personal brand. Imagine the good Michael Jordan could do with his fame and popularity if he used it for something other than hawking underwear. I give Ayanbadejo extra kudos for taking a public side of a controversial issue. That he's willing to take such a stand shows character, conviction and bravery and sets a good example, an example he's been setting long before now.

Burns by contrast only shows his fear of what he does not know or understand, which in this case includes the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America. Plus, by stating he knows of no other NFL player who has done this, he shows his complete lack of knowledge regarding professional athletes and their support of the gay community. The San Francisco 49ers started last year creating public service announcements aimed to inspire gay adolescents. Vikings punter Chris Kluwe has been outspokenly supportive of gay issues, something he pointed out in a fantastically wicked letter he sent to Burns.

By writing the Ravens' owner and demanding him to stop his employees from speaking out, Burns is trying to use his governmental office to control and influence a private business. A person cannot set the policies of a private business just because they do not care for the politics of that business. Mr. Burns, if you're so unhappy with how Mr. Bisciotti runs his business, then do what every protestor has done since the beginning of time, boycott it. If enough people feel the same way, they will join you. And if enough people join your cause that it should effect Mr. Bisciotti's business, then he'll change how he runs said business. That's how our system as currently set up works. Making demands and dictating how a business is run and what their employees can or cannot say is how communism works.

Now in case Burns didn't notice, this is an election year. Maryland residents love their Ravens, possibly enough to vote for this initiative just to spite Burns for slandering and interfering with their Ravens. Also Burns is a democrat, just like our current President who is actively running for re-election. Something tells me President Obama, who supports gay marriage and is a HUGE football fan, will not care very much for Burns' rather ignorant, and public, hissy fit.

My favorite part is how Burns ended his letter, asking Bisciotti for an immediate response. I personally hope Bisciotti, who I'm sure is mourning the death of his mentor Art Modell, responded with a two word letter, starting with an F and ending in Off.

Burns has every right in this country to take a public stand against gay marriage. That is also covered as free speech. But by utilizing that right in our country, he must realize Ayanbadejo has an equal right to speak out in support. If Burns is too clueless to realize this, and try to infringe on the rights of US citizens, well I'll give you him my immediate response to his letter; Emmett C. Burns, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

We're not off to a scintillating start.

Wednesday: 0-1

Season to Date: 0-1

That's ok, now that we've got the appetizer out of the way, it's time for the main course.

Sunday

Indianapolis (0-0) at Chicago (0-0)

Andrew Luck makes his debut as the new signal caller for Indianapolis. While I bet he has a better first season record wise than Peyton did, I don't think it starts today.

Bears over Colts

Philadelphia (0-0) at Cleveland (0-0)

The NFL has asked all teams to honor Art Modell this weekend before their games, including Cleveland. Something tells me the Browns season will get off on the wrong foot.

Eagles over Browns

St. Louis (0-0) at Detroit (0-0)

The two big questions from this game are, can Detroit sustain last season's success, and can Jeff Fisher turn around St. Louis with no defensive coordinator. Neither will be answered in Week 1.

Lions over Rams

Miami (0-0) at Houston (0-0)

I wonder if Ryan Tannehill will learn what division Houston is in before kickoff.

Texans over Dolphins

Atlanta (0-0) at Kansas City (0-0)

Atlanta under Mike Smith has traditionally been a regular season behemoth. Romeo Crennel is loved by the players, but his regular season record as head coach is rather meh. I'm going with past performance.

Falcons over Chiefs

Jacksonville (0-0) at Minnesota (0-0)

And this will be The Game No One Watches Of The Week. I'm sure Jacksonville will be involved in more than a few of these.

Vikings over Jaguars

Washington (0-0) at New Orleans (0-0)

I know everyone else is salivating over the pro debut of RGIII, but I'm more excited for the debut of head coach/player Drew Brees.

Saints over Redskins

Buffalo (0-0) at New York Jets (0-0)

My upset special of the week. Buffalo's revamped defense will take us one step closer to Tebow: The Broadway Edition.

Bills over Jets

New England (0-0) at Tennessee (0-0)

The last time New England played in Tennessee, Tom Brady threw 6 touchdown passes. While I doubt he'll duplicate that success this time, I don't see him having much difficulty.

Patriots over Titans

Seattle (0-0) at Arizona (0-0)

By half time, Matt Flynn will be calling his agent to orchestrate a trade to Arizona, if Ken Whisenhunt hasn't slipped an offer note to Pete Carroll during their pre-game mid field meeting.

Seahawks over Cardinals

San Francisco (0-0) at Green Bay (0-0)

Green Bay, at home, yeah I'm comfortable with that.

Packers over 49ers

Carolina (0-0) at Tampa Bay (0-0)

You'd think the home team would be a good choice here. But the home team doesn't have Cam Newton.

Panthers over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (0-0) at Denver (0-0)

Let's see, an aging quarterback with a tons of question marks regarding his ability and health whom Pittsburgh has beaten before when he had better weapons, and no possibility of getting Tebowed? I'll take it.

Steelers over Broncos

Monday

Cincinnati (0-0) at Baltimore (0-0)

Hmmm, not sure who'd I'd prefer to win, so I guess I'm forced to choose who will probably win.

Ravens over Bengals

San Diego (0-0) at Oakland (0-0)

The opening weekend Monday Night double dip! You'd think they could find a more appetizing game for this showcase that might keep East Coast fans awake.

Chargers over Raiders

Thursday

Chicago at Green Bay

Ok, now I've found out my first obstacle with putting in the picks for next Thursday on Sunday. I have no idea what the records of the teams participating will be, nor do I have performance appraisals to examine. Well, I do if my picks are correct, but since I've never gone 16-0 once there is a slight margin of ever. Ok, here's my crap shoot guess.

Packers over Bears