The Crystal Ball 2012 Training Camp Tidbits

Woof, what a whirlwind with camps breaking and week three of the preseason upon us. Are you caught up yet? Me either. But that's only because of the absolute deluge of stories and information that has been pouring out of the NFL as teams ramp up for the beginning of the 2012 campaign. Some have been good, some bad, and a few heartbreaking, but all interesting. Let's take a gander at some of them.

Opening Kickoff

Steelers receiver Mike Wallace finally realized his holdout will not garner him a new contract, and reportedly will join the team after their game against the Bills. I wonder if Franco Harris had a word with him how the Rooney family never folds.

Kibble and Tidbits

The Cleveland Browns were sold to Tennessee businessman Jimmy Haslam III, a soon to be former minority owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Boy, even when they get the hopeful promise of new ownership, Cleveland fans still have Pittsburgh success rubbed in their face.

As if Browns fans needed more crap, rookie running back Trent Richardson is battling a severe knee problem that could be season threatening. It would appear Trent Richardson has become Cleveland's Ki-Jana Carter without even taking the field. What, too much? Too mean? I could have said something about their almost 30 year old rookie quarterback, but I resisted so give me some credit.

After at least 154 miles of pre-season story lines, and two offensively atrocious pre-season games, Tim Tebow says he knows how to fix the anemic Jet offense. I'm guessing at this point divine intervention must be involved.

Michael Irvin thinks so highly of Bill Belichick, a coach he never played for, he would rename the Lombardi Trophy the Lombardi/Belichick Trophy. Yes, nothing like bestowing such a high honor such as naming the highest achievement in the sport after the man who has a 3-2 championship game record and is a caught and admitted cheater. Maybe, Michael, you should look past the last decade of NFL football if you want to find reputable gentlemen who changed football whose names you could place upon the trophy. May I suggest the Walsh/Noll Trophy?

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger reported that the little tear in the rotator cuff of his throwing arm is fine, causes no pain and is no hindrance to him. This came as a surprise to everyone since no one even knew he had a tear in his rotator cuff. After spending all spring passive aggressively complaining about a new offensive coordinator and a new play book, and now bringing up an unknown injury, I think this season we'll change his moniker from Big Douche to Big Attention Whore.

Speaking of attention whores, Terrell Owens managed to convince yet another team that hey, he'll be good and he can still play and signed a one year contract with the Seattle Seahawks. Apparently, Seattle knew nothing of his stints with San Francisco, Philadelphia, Dallas, Buffalo, Cincinnati and the Allen Wranglers. It's cool Seahawks fans, even though there's a major quarterback controversy brewing within your team between Russell Wilson and Matt Flynn, I'm sure TO will keep his nose clean and not cause any trouble whatsoever. This time will be different!

Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez had a boo boo, and Bill Belichick kissed it and made it all better. Just when you thought things couldn't get weirder in New England.

Heir Goodell used the mess that is replacement officials to shine the light on his progressive policies and announced that Shannon Eastin, a replacement line judge, could be just the beginning of female officials in the NFL. That is a great step for equality and opportunity, and I do applaud the NFL for working to make this a reality. Now, tell me why I feel that one of the hundreds of young, amped up, testosterone laden macho men that play professional football is bound to do something stupid involving a female official?

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Roger Goodell stated that the NFL will not have advertising on their uniforms. I guess he's a reader and wanted to assuage my fears. I wonder what other suggestions I could make that he might listen to, since now it appears he's tuned in. Hmmm. Roger, greenlight the Super Bust!

Remember when Missy Franklin, the US swimming gold medalist and precocious 17 year old, did her little video to the song "Call Me Maybe"? And we all laughed and thought how adorable? Yeah, it was a nice Olympic side story. Well, it's less cute and slightly off when infused with the sexual overtones of the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. And just downright odd when done by the Pittsburgh Steelers. These guys need some games to keep them busy.

Speaking of downright odd, Jerry Jones wants him some glory hole. Let's keep this above the board, and you make up your own joke. I'll just say, I don't think that means what he thinks it means.

Eagles quarterback Michael Vick feels that Philadelphia has the opportunity to become a dynasty. You would think he would have learned after the back lash last season after Vince Young's comments about a "dream team".

Tim Tebow did a cover spread for GQ magazine. Apparently living in New York and hanging out with former GQ cover boy Mark Sanchez is rubbing off on our innocent little Tim. In case Jet fans didn't already know, this is exactly the sort of distraction that keeps a player from becoming the best they can be and keeps a team from focusing on the details that win championships. Buy extra copies now Jets fans, since you won't need to save for special edition copies of the world champion Jets commemorative Sports Illustrated.

Upon Further Review

With a rash of Steeler retirements this off season, as well as other notable NFL players like LaDainian Tomlinson, the subject of the ceremonial contract has been brought to the forefront of my mind. Tomlinson, as well as a few former Steelers, signed one day contracts so they could officially retire as a member of the team with whom they were most closely associated. While there are those who deride or ridicule this purely fanciful act, I do not. I like the ceremonial contract.

The main reason is that this observance is mainly for the fans. We all know its a business at the end of the day. Teams will get rid of any player they don't feel gives them the best opportunity to win, while players will leave for big money at the first opportunity. Yet despite this, there are always a handful of players for each team who transcend this commerce relationship and become ingrained into the fabric of the team as well as the hearts of the fans.

When that player decides its time to call it a career, even if they're with another team at the time, fans want to see them go out with their team. The one day retirement contract lets us believe that our favorite team meant as much to said player as the team does to us. We know that for the most part, it doesn't. Although there are exceptions to that rule, and as an example I'd put Hines Ward in the latter category. I do believe the Steelers organization means as much to him as it does to the fans. But even if said player does not feel the strong ties fans do, it makes the fans feel special and that the years cheering for said player were all worthwhile, and that's a great thing.

In an era where money rules all and working class fans are increasingly being squeezed out of attending games thanks to constantly rising prices for tickets, concessions, merchandise, parking and souvenirs, it's nice to feel that our devotion to our favorite teams is felt by our favorite players, even if it's a fleeting feeling. Soon, it may be the closest connection we have.

At What Cost

Philadelphia Eagle head coach Andy Reid suffered a tragic loss early in the preseason, when his eldest son Garrett, an assistant with the team, was found dead in his dorm room at the Eagles training camp. Garrett had a checkered history with drugs, but over the past few years seemed to be getting on the right path. My condolences go out to Andy and his family as well as the Eagles family.

I have no point of reference, but I imagine losing a child must be one of the most painful things a parent can endure. Reid took a few days away from the team to handle family matters and bury his son, then came back to coach the team in their first preseason game.

I will not question Reid's decision to return to the team so soon after his son's death. How people mourn or deal with pain and suffering is very personal, and everyone deals with it in different ways. Some use humor, others food or drink, and some find solace in returning to familiar routines. Reid obviously felt the best way for him to cope with loss was the latter. I'm sure nothing this season will be easy for him, but the comfortable environment of his job is giving him time and space to find a way to deal with the death of his son.

What I do question is do we put too much emphasis on professional success in our society, to the point of sacrificing personal relationships? It would be easy, and I'm sure someone has by now, to question whether Reid's position in the NFL played a part in his son's death. Spending so much time working to be the best in his profession and create a championship winning organization obviously led him to sacrifice time away from home and family. And the logical thought would be that his son may not have had so many troubles if he had benefitted from a stronger fatherly presence that spent more time at home.

This is a copout argument. Yes, while most positions in the NFL are high profile/high pressure time consuming jobs, this is not the only industry that puts tremendous demands on the personal time and relationships of their employees. You can examine any industry or profession and find positions that require people to work long, demanding hours, travel around the world and sacrifice time at home to keep caught up on incoming projects and communications.

The world in general has become more competitive and cutthroat, and more and more people are giving up more of their time and energy once reserved for family and friends just to stay ahead. And factor in the dismal employment picture that has been painted over the past few years, people are afraid to demand the rightful time they deserve with their families in fear losing their income. But we make these sacrifices because we have a built in desire to do our best and see how far our drive, intelligence and skill can take us. And more importantly, as a society we endure these inconveniences because we know our hard work will pay off in providing a better life for our children, and the future.

There's nothing wrong with striving to be our best and become the best at our chosen professions. If we didn't push ourselves to see how good we can be, we'd never find out how great we are, nor would we have many of the wonders we now enjoy. But if attaining these heights means sacrificing everything we hold dear, and losing those who we are working so hard to provide for and protect, what is the point of these sacrifices?

If professional success is achieved at the cost of family and interpersonal relationships, the very core of the human experience, that is too high a price to pay. And if we accept this state as the way the world works, then we as a society, and as a species, have badly misplaced our priorities and lost focus on what is truly important.

Calling Joe Esposito

Well, with two weeks of preseason football under our belts, I supposed it's time to figure out who the best team in the NFL is and who will walk away with the hardware come February. I mean, with this small sample size, and of course the words of players, coaches and owners, it should be really easy to determine who truly is the best around, right?

In Philadelphia, Michael Vick feels they could be a dynasty. Well, no need to even play week 3 preseason games, just ship the Lombardi to Eagles headquarters.

Whoa, wait, Ryan Kahil says his Carolina Panthers will win the Super Bowl. Hmmm, I guess that will put a kink in Vick's dynastical plans.

But before Kahil can get his paws on that sticky Lombardi, the New York media has something to say about that, since Tim Tebow is a star, yet it's a good thing he's only a second stringer because he cannot hold a candle to Mark Sanchez.

So that at least sews up the best quarterback right? Wrong. Joe Flacco has attested this offseason that he's one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

I'm sure he's right, unless you talk to Pat Shurmur and Mike Holmgren, who thing Colt McCoy could be great. Well, that is if he can beat out the 29 year old rookie. But I digress, we're trying to determine the best.

How about Peyton Manning? He's back, right? Of course he is, and he apparently according to all sources has two great receivers to help him lead Denver to the promised land. 10 bucks to the first person who can name them both without using Google. Bronco and bitter Steeler fans are exempted.

Well, I'm sure Indianapolis will be a rebuilding team. What? No? No way, they're in it to win it, especially since Andrew Luck is playing at such a mature level, Colts brass have proclaimed he is no longer a rookie. Not sure how you get past that distinction without playing one single regular season game, but Luck is so special apparently he found a way. He should have his agent make sure to trim that rookie year out of his contract.

But not to be outdone, Oakland quarterback Carson Palmer feels the Raiders are a playoff team. Hmmmm, at least his prediction is somewhat realistic, if they weren't in the same division with the Broncos and their transcendent receivers.

However, I suppose everyone so far is just full of beans, since Cowboys owner Jerry Jones knows Dallas is ready to dominate this year. At first glance, he may have a point since his starting defense has been throwing shut outs in the preseason and getting fans excited. Well, they got excited until they realized A) it's preseason and B) Jerry Jones is still responsible for evaluating and acquiring team personnel.

So what can we take from all this hot air, other than the ability to power a weekend of ballooning? Absolutely nothing, except one thing. I guarantee none of these teams will win the Super Bowl this year. Talk is cheap, especially before week one. Remember the old radio adage, more rock, less talk. It's the only way to go.

He Said He Said

"Really a classy thing to do. Everybody wanted to see it, and it was good that he was able to pull everybody together in the stadium, including the fans. It was special." - Jaguars wide receiver Lee Evans on Head coach Mike Mularkey stopping practice and inviting the fans into the stadium to watch Sanya Richards-Ross, wife of cornerback Aaron Ross, win Olympic gold in the 400-meter race

See, I'm wasn't the only one neglecting training camp to watch the Olympics. Thanks Mike, that makes me feel better for slacking so much.

"All of it. I'm very, very average." - Bungles tight end Jermaine Gresham when asked on what he needs to improve for 2012

I believe, if I'm checking the conversion chart correctly, average for the Bungles equals poor on most other teams, and warrants a press conference and a Page 1 article in the New York Post if you're a Jet quarterback.

"I don't own the team yet, so comments about current or future personnel would be unfair." - new Browns owner Jimmy Haslam III when asked about club personnel after the team's sale had been announced

I smell off season house cleaning!

"Y'all should come to that stadium and watch us beat the Giants' ass." - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones inviting fans to their home opener versus the Super Bowl champions

I'm not sure whether to laugh, or be concerned for his mental health since he's obviously sincere and believes the Cowboys will win. I'll just laugh.

"Thinking about going into porn. I got to earn a living. I'm being serious. I mean, that's what I would do." - former Dolphins receiver Chad Johnson, when asked what he would do if he got cut by the Dolphins this preseason and had to find another job.

Since we may now find out if this will come to pass, I wonder if he will live tweet during the filming. "dang, you guys should she this babe! oh wait you will!"

"I'm really good." - former Dolphins receiver Chad Johnson

Sensing a pattern? Yes, I'm leading into something....

Idiot of the Preseason so far

We must have a massive idiot to supplant Michael Irvin and his idiotic Belichick love fest. Oh, you already know we do.

Our idiot is, easily Chad Johnson. The former Ochocinco managed to in one short weekend, 1) get caught for infidelity by a stray receipt for condoms, 2) get into a physical fight with his wife of a few short months, 3) get arrested for domestic abuse for said fight, 4) be served with divorce papers and 5) get fired from his job with the Dolphins, with HBO cameras rolling the entire time, and the firing to be aired on HBO's popular program Hard Knocks.

It takes a colossal amount of idiocy to accomplish all of that in less than a week. But as we have seen from him, Chad tends to go over the top in everything he does. So, Chad Johnson, without a doubt you are the preseason idiot so far.

Plus, as a quick aside Chad, you should have never changed your name. By doing so you lost your mojo like Sampson cutting his hair. These kind of things would never have happened to Chad Ochocinco.

On the next episode of The Crystal Ball....

We'll get into the exciting, but slightly fading, Pirates, and soon the long awaited Saints Bounty Scandal treatise and a prep for the season, which is almost here!