The Crystal Ball 2011 The Super Bowl
For my money, the best pregame entertainment is not found on CBS, NBC, Fox, ESPN or the NFL Network. It’s on Animal Planet and their annual Puppy Bowl. Good times!
Opening Kickoff
Patriot fans breathed a sigh of relief when it was revealed that Bill Belichick would not wear a red hoodie on the sidelines as he did in Super Bowl 42. What a bunch of superstitious weirdos. Now where’s my lucky Terrible Towel….
The Way It Was
With the Super Bowl drowning out everything else to white noise, the NFL front seems rather quiet. But there’s a few interesting nuggets to digest.
New Rams head coach Jeff Fisher will hire his son away from Detroit to work on his staff in St. Louis. Jeff, no bad idea. This never works out well. If you doubt me, see Shanahan, Mike and son.
Indianapolis officially hired former Steelers offensive coordinator Bruce Arians for the same position with the Colts. Hey Indianapolis fans, I hope you like bubble screens.
The NFL announced their 2012 Hall of Fame class. There’s some good calls in there.
Here’s a great story about Chase Blackburn, the Giants linebacker who was sitting at home at Thanksgiving and now will start the Super Bowl. That was supposed to be Max Starks’ story!
It would seem the Patriots have more health issues than just Gronkowski’s ankle.
Hall of Fame running back Tony Dorsett joined a growing group of former players suing the NFL over health concerns, health care and negligence stemming from their playing days. Its funny that the NFL keeps operating under the guise that if they just keep fining James Harrison, these issues will magically go away.
The Steel Pit
The team interviewed Todd Haley for their vacant offensive coordinator position. No word yet who the team will hire, but this could be an interesting combination in my opinion.
In other news, two former Steelers were elected to the Hall of Fame, cornerback Jack Butler a Pittsburgh native and center Dermontti Dawson. Dawson was one of my favorite all time Steelers and I do wish he’d have won a Super Bowl, but this is better. That’s two Steeler centers in the Hall of Fame, as Dawson now joins Mike Webster in football immortality, and a total of 20 former players who spent significant parts of their career with Pittsburgh now enshrined. It’s a pretty good day.
Only In Faux NFL Reality…
Tim Tebow apparently spent an evening at a hotel at the same time a porn convention was occurring. Tebow was probably just trying to save their souls.
New Jaguars owner Shahid Khan stated in an interview that he would have drafted Tim Tebow. Yeah because he sees a Florida marketing goldmine there, he's no dummy.
Jason Pierre Paul believes the Giants defense is in Tom Brady’s head. Don’t get too full of yourselves guys. There’s still a game to play.
Aaron Rodgers spouted off in the press about the lack of effort by the NFC squad in the Pro Bowl. That’s a good way to make friends and influence people Rodgers, glad to see that Dale Carnegie course is paying off.
Andrew Luck, who just happened to be in Indianapolis this week, says he’s ready and hoping to play right away. I wonder if Peyton blew a blood vessel hearing that.
Speaking of Peyton, he’s been medically cleared to practice, although Jim Irsay says not so fast. This is going to be a very messy divorce.
Super Silly Bowl
You know why the Super Bowl is so fun? Because it’s so ridiculous, obnoxious and over the top. Everything is blown far out of proportion that it’s far more of a spectacle than it is a game. And everybody wants either a piece of it or at least to be associated with it in some small way.
Look at advertising, where NBC has sold out its allotment of Super Bowl XLVI advertising at an average of $3.5 million for a 30-second spot. That’s insane money just to hawk a product. But there’ s money to be had not just by the league and networks.
How about betting? It’s too easy to just bet on a winner or loser, but how about who scores first, who fumbles first, or who scores last? For that, there’s the always fun prop bets!
For your entertaining desires, there are the myriad of parties to attend during Super Bowl week, most attended by people who wouldn’t know a pigskin from an appetizer.
You hungry, how about some cole slaw the preferred side dish for Larry the Cable Guy.
Maybe you just want to brush up on your football knowledge, then look no further than Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings and his list of best Super Bowls trivia.
And if that’s enough, there’s the general nonsense that always revolves around such a spectacle.
Super Bowl week offers up whatever you could want or need and in copious amounts. Embrace the nonsense.
Upon Further Review
Ok, I know some people are probably bored with this game before the kickoff occurs. I mean, didn’t we watch these two teams duke it out just a few years ago? Well, in case you needed a reason to become invested; I hereby offer a small collection of benefits of a Patriots/Giants Super Bowl, just in case you need a reason to get pumped.
No Harbaugh Bowl – woof, how insufferable would the last two weeks have been if it had been the Harbaugh show, especially when one of them had to win.
The Ravens suffered yet another devastating loss without making the big game as Ray Ray gets older and older.... – Ok, I’ll admit it this one was personal.
It will be fun to watch Tom Brady lose yet another Super Bowl – I hope.
The Steelers CANT lose the game- Yeah, I’m still a bit tweaked about last year.
No matter who wins, the Jets lose since either they lose control of New York or the AFC East. - That's especially fun, anything to say about that Rex ol' chap?
So many people will openly wonder, is Eli better than Peyton? – And we get to see Peyton quietly seethe.
See more fun right? Now are you ready for some football?
Super Bust Recap
Chargers 35 – Packers 31
What a tremendous game by both teams. The Packers came out firing on all cylinders, charging out to a 21-0 lead and seemingly in command. But as the game wore on, they sputtered badly down the stretch. The Chargers on the other hand had their usual slow start, then turned it on just enough at the end to win the game, save their season and Norv Turner’s job, again.
After the game Aaron Rodgers questioned his teams’ effort and Phillip Rivers threw a victory fit.
He Said He Said
"Do you realize how weird this is?' Have you stopped to think about it? We win the NFC Championship in overtime with a field goal on the road four years ago and go on to the Super Bowl to face the Patriots. We win the NFC Championship in overtime tonight with a field goal on the road and go on to the Super Bowl to face the Patriots!'' – Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora
I know I’ve seen this Super Bowl before
"When you are younger, you think there's a wise man behind that door with a white beard, and you can go see him and he'll tell you the answers. But that man is not there.'' -- Indianapolis owner Jimmy Irsay,
Is he talking about the Wizard of Oz?
"Our team will be built around a humble unselfish attitude of sacrifice. It's hard to find in today's world. But that's who we'll be.'' -- New Tampa Bay coach Greg Schiano.
Sounds like there’s a new sheriff in town.
"I hope he's out there when we play them. I don't want to sound like that, but you know what I mean. To our advantage, I hope he's out there.” -- Giants receiver Mario Manningham, on Patriots receiver Julian Edelman playing defensive back
That sounds like bulletin board material.
''I was a little bit disappointed. I feel like there should be some pride involved.'' – Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers on the NFC team’s effort in the Pro Bowl
Rodgers, relax, it’s the Pro Bowl. Yeesh.
"Throw the ball quickly. She doesn't like it when I get hit very often." – Gisele Bundchen’s advice to husband Tom Brady
Then Gisele and I have very different opinions on watching you play Tom.
"There comes a time when emotion trumps rationality. And this, if I was an owner, would be one of those moments for me." – new Jaguars owner shahid Khan stating he would have drafted Tim Tebow
I have no idea what kind of owner he will be, but coupled with his great mustache, I dig this cat so far.
"The fourth quarter, crunch time, is Eli time." – Giants offensive tackle Kareem McKenzie
Did I miss a memo?
Idiot of the Week
Some weeks, the well just runs dry. This is one of those weeks. Oh wait, what’s this?
Gisele Bundchen, super model and wife of Tom Brady, sent out an email to close family and friends imploring them to pray for Tommy, her word, in the Super Bowl. Really? Yeah, people are going to want to pray for Tom Brady, because his life just stinks and this could really lift him out of the doldrums. I’m sorry, there are many things you should be imploring people to pray for, and for your husband to win his 4th Super Bowl just isn’t it. So for sending such a ridiculous request, Gisele you are an idiot.
Prognosticating the Future
One of the most entertaining parts of Super Bowl week is watching numerous talking heads trying to figure out who will win before actually playing the game. Polls, predictions and simulations abound with desperate souls trying to prognosticate the outcome of the game, usually with the same accuracy as Punxsutawney Phil and his yearly weather forecast.
EA Sports each year runs a simulation of the two Super Bowl teams in an attempt to determine the winner. This year their game reproduction forecasts a Giants victory. While EA is fairly accurate, and I like their results, I know ultimately it means nothing.
Then of course there is one of my favorite predictors, the Scripps Howard News Service and their annual gleaning of Super Bowl picks from celebrities. Howie Mandel was particularly shameless in promoting his new tv show in making his prediction.
But I digress. For me, the true indicator of the Super Bowl winner comes from looking at the latest scandal sheet. To put it succinctly, I determine Super Bowl winners based on who has a scandal, started a scandal, and is embroiled in a scandal or on the cusp of one. And by my definition, a scandal is anything off the field that takes away from the team itself, puts all the focus on one player or anything that may disrupt a team from properly preparing for the game.
This year, everyone seems to have kept their mouths shut and noses clean. The closest thing I have is Gisele’s prayer chain for Tom Brady. Well, I guess we’ll have to go with that.
On Tap This Week
Ok, here we go.
Season to Date: 177-90
This is it, are you strapped in and ready?
The Super Bowl
New York (12-7) vs. New England (15-3)
Since we’ve seen these two before, there’s really not much new left to say. Heck just to put some filler in, I contemplated just pasting what I wrote 4 years ago.
But to save time, since my back is killing me and the Puppy Bowl is starting soon, I’ll just say this.
The Giants already won a matchup this year against New England. With this game, Eli can do two things Peyton couldn’t. One, win his second Super Bowl and two, lay claim to owning Belichick and Brady. That should be plenty of motivation.
Giants over Patriots
Labels: football, humor, NFL, picks, Pittsburgh, Playoffs, Steelers, Super Bowl
posted by Kylerstar @ 3:48 PM
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