The Crystal Ball 2011 Week 7

Harold Camping’s revised prediction of the world ending on October 21^st surprisingly did not come true. Although Colts fans would argue that the world ended in late August.

Opening Kickoff

Saints head coach Sean Payton suffered a fractured tibia and torn MCL during a sideline collision that required surgery. Payton will continue the season doing a Joe Paterno impression and coach from the booth. But I bet the Saints staff gives Sean a headset to use during games.

The Way It Was

Ahhh now there’s the Rex Grossman we know and love, throwing 4 interceptions in a beyond dismal performance. Paging John Beck…..

Ok, but seriously Washington? You’re were at home and had two weeks to prepare for an opponent on the ropes. And you could do no better than that putrid performance?

Washington also found a new way to get screwed with Chris Cooley breaking his hand. I guess no more good blogs from Cooley for a while.

Ok, so Philadelphia showed there’s something to be said for playing desperate.

Minnesota, you play in the NFC North division so you should already know this lesson by now. Never, EVER, kick the ball to Devin Hester.

Meanwhile in Tampa, the Buccaneers we expected showed up and took out Sean Payton and his charges. So is this the real Tampa Bay or is it the team that got destroyed by San Francisco? Will someone clue me in?

Drew Brees threw an uncharacteristic 3 interceptions, and the team as a whole turned the ball over 5 times. Perhaps they were mentally distracted worrying about their coach. Yeah, that sounds like a good excuse, let’s go with that.

Ok, now I have to officially take San Francisco seriously. Well, as much as I can if that’s the kind of douche bag maneuver their coach pulls in his post game actions. And yes, Schwartz was a douche bag too, we’ll cover that later.

Dang it Detroit, you ruined my wish for an undefeated Thanksgiving showdown! Well forget you now, I’m overloading on stuffing and falling asleep. Take that!

In their first home game since the death of Al Davis when Raiders past came back to Oakland to honor Al and John Madden lit an eternal flame for their fallen leader…wait what? Are you kidding me, an eternal flame for Al Davis? I guess a statue would be defaced by Raider fans looking to commit an easy misdemeanor at halftime.

Anyway, the Raiders won their first home game without Al, but lost quarterback Jason Campbell with a broken collarbone in the process. At least they pulled off a sweet fake field goal during the game. Hey, maybe they could have Shane Lecher fill in at QB if this Palmer thing doesn’t work out.

Cowboy running back Felix Jones apparently didn’t think his separated shoulder was enough of a detriment and managed to hurt his ankle as well. Come on Romo, I told you, you have to be hurt for the fans to sympathize. Go talk with Jay Cutler about how this is done.

New England, in their game ending win over Dallas, managed to turn the ball over 4 times, including Tom Brady throwing two interceptions. I’d say that Brady’s interceptions this season are showing chinks in the Patriot armor, but come on, we all know it’s probably some Belichick ruse to lull the NFL into a false sense of security.

Packer linebacker A.J. Hawk was caught by FOX cameras flipping the bird toward his own sideline during Green Bay’s dismantling of St. Louis. You stay classy, Packers.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 17 – Jaguars 13

Wow, did this game start off great. The first two drives utilized play action passing exploited the cover two defense and used lots of Heath and Hines combined with excellent running and resulted in two touchdowns. The perfect game plan.

And all was rolling along fine until they were leading by 17 points and the game plan turned into let’s let Big Douche, yeah I’m calling him that now, toss the ball as far as he can every other play to get another ESPN highlight touchdown. Once they got away from their super effective game plan and played chuck it the rest of the afternoon, the Jags climbed back into the game and had a chance to win it at the end.

Look, I love when Ben throws big bombs too. And it’s always exciting when he hits Wallace for a huge touchdown play. Who doesn’t like watching those homerun plays? But when they don’t work, and more often than not they don’t when the opposing defense starts to expect them, all you do is waste a down, give the defense hope, and save time on the clock.

I know Ben wants to be amongst the big time quarterbacks who throw constantly like Tom Brady, Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers. But he’s not. Brady is the best at doing what Brady does. And Roethlisberger shouldn’t try to replicate it. He should do what he does best, be Ben Roethlisberger, because when he does, the Steelers are unbeatable.

But honestly, right now I think the real problem lies with Bruce Arians. Roethlisberger wants to control the offense from the field. But Arians will not allow him to run the no huddle offense and call the offensive plays. He keeps control of the offensive play calling because he wants to be seen as the genius behind the potent Steeler attack. But the more these two engage in a pissing contest regarding who is in charge, the less the offense seems to be a threat. I wish Tomlin would clunk their heads together Three Stooges style and tell them to knock it off.

In other game news, all everything safety Troy Polamalu left the game with concussion like symptoms. It turned out Polamalu was fine, but I’m sure Ryan Clark head butting Troy after the play that caused the symptoms didn’t help matters.

Left guard Doug Legursky left the game with a dislocated toe and will be out for a few weeks. Well, looks like yet another offensive line configuration for this week.

And most importantly, I need to relax, the defense stood tall, the offense did enough and the team won. That is what always matter most.

Ward Watch – Hines nabbed only 3 passes, reducing his needed catches to reach 1000 to 23. And, with only 61 more yards receiving, Ward will reach the 12,000 receiving yards mark, a plateau achieved by only 17 players before him. Seriously, with all the records he’s breaking this year, the Hall of Fame should be a lock for this man one day.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Bengals, yes they get their official name back at least for this week, traded disgruntled quarterback Carson Palmer to the Raiders for a 2012 first round draft pick and a 2013 conditional second round draft pick. I know last week I urged Mike Brown to make such a move, but I cannot believe he actually did! Is he a reader? Mike, if you’re reading this, release a statement to the press that says, Gabba Gabba Hey!

Arizona guard Daryn Colledge sees a lot of similarities between his Cardinals and the Green Bay Packers. Yeah, I can see it, they both field offenses that have 11 players and both wear helmets and shoulder pads during games. Like looking in a mirror.

Chicago linebacker Lance Briggs squealed about conflict between the players and Bears management. At least no one is busting on Jay Cutler for a change.

Detroit running back Jerome Harrison, during a physical for a trade with the Eagles, was found to have a brain tumor. It’s amazing how fast life can throw you a curveball when you least expect it. Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery.

Rex Ryan, trying to find something new to brag about, boasted to the San Diego media this week that if the Chargers had hired him in 2007, they would have already celebrated a few Super Bowl victories. Hey Rex, instead of imagining winning a championship with someone else’s team, perhaps you should concentrate on keeping your wide receivers from giving your crappy quarterback an atomic wedgie. That’s a free tip.

Tennessee is apparently contemplating signing the desperate for attention wide receiver Terrell Owens. Tennessee, did you learn nothing from the failed Randy Moss experiment?

Eagles running back LeSean McCoy, all fired up during Philadelphia’s romp over Washington, gave head coach Andy Reid a punch in the gut. LeSean, be careful! Don’t you know you can kill a guy by punching him in the gut when he isn’t ready for it?

Former coach and current talking head Jon Gruden inked a new deal to stay with ESPN for five more years. Yeah, because he found out what Bill Cowher did; talking football and getting paid tons to do it is far easier and less stressful than coaching football.

NFL Films announced they will be releasing their entire catalog on DVD. Oh man, I'm gonna start making up my Christmas list now!

Upon Further Review

Steelers’ safety Troy Polamalu was fined $10,000 by the NFL this week for using a cell phone on the sidelines during the game. Now while Troy was only calling his wife to reassure her he was fine after leaving the game with concussion-like symptoms and was given the phone by team doctors, the rule is quite clear. The NFL and Roger Goodell acted as they saw fit according to the rules. This makes sense to me and until the rule is amended, they acted correctly.

However, Goodell and his disciplinary minions severely dropped the ball and opened themselves to extreme criticism when it came to the ridiculous near brawl between 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and Lions head coach Jim Schwartz.

Goodell has maintained since the beginning of his confusing, arbitrary and increasingly erratic clampdown on violations of league policy that he is working to protect the shield. And that translates, for us non-league people, into anything that tarnishes the image of the NFL will not be tolerated and will be subject to a fine, suspension or both.

Ok, I think everyone is on board with that stance. After all, the NFL is the most popular sport in America and a billion dollar industry. It is in the best interest of those who directly work for and in the league as well as those who make a living from ancillary businesses attached to the league to protect their investment and put the kibosh on anything that may damage their global brand.

So with those parameters established, I would like to understand exactly how two head coaches getting into near fisticuffs after a game and on national television does not tarnish the shield?

With the exception of a few high profile owners, the head coach is the most visible leader of an NFL franchise. He is the public face most franchises put out to the public and in some cases lasts longer than franchise players used to promote their teams. Most fans would be able to recognize a head coach before a team owner.

With this public recognition power, the head coach sets the public standard and image of the team they represent. More so, the head coach is also the leader of the men placed in his charge. He is responsible for not only leading them on the field of play, but also off the field. A team takes their persona and image from their head coach, and if a team portrays a negative public image, that reflects directly whether fairly or not on the head coach.

The head coach is focused on and featured prominently in every NFL game broadcast, with pregame interviews, multiple shots of each coach during the game, the featured post game hand shake and the post game interviews with the press. The media focus on the head coaches as their point of contact and main source of information regarding the team, players, game reactions and overall mood of the organization. And with only 32 NFL teams, this is obviously a rare, coveted and singular position.

So when two head coaches come to such public differences on national television that they come within a few well positioned team personnel from actual fist fighting, that tarnishes not just the image of each coach, but also their team, the owners, the players, the front office personnel, their fan bases, the coaching fraternity and by extension the NFL and it’s marketability and profitability.

I understand that by not fining the coaches or enacting any severe discipline, Goodell and the NFL were trying to downplay a rather embarrassing minor chapter in the history of the NFL. But by ignoring the public relations damage this incident does to the NFL, and how it tarnishes the shield, Goodell tarnishes the shield in his own way. He allowed two coaches to get away with infantile, egomaniacal behavior that sets a bad example for anyone watching that would never tolerate from a player.

Goodell inadvertently justified future such behavior from other coaches, gave the media an open avenue to criticize him, the office of commissioner and the league itself and gave the players one more example of the hypocrisy of his disciplinary policy that could eventually lead to player revolt. And those things are far more tarnishing to the shield, and detrimental to the NFL remaining popular and profitable, than a player taking a phone from a doctor to tell his wife he’s ok.

He Said He Said

"I am aware of it. A couple of guys told me about it. I think it's stupid." – Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck on the Suck for Luck campaign

Well Andrew, if you want to be a quarterback in the National Football League, you had better get used to stupid right now.

"That's totally on me. I shook his hand too hard." – 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh on his near fisticuffs with Jim Schwartz

Sure, and there was nothing belittling about it at all.

"There is absolutely no issue in my trust level with Tony Romo." – Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett

That doesn’t sound like much of an endorsement to me.

"Obviously if we get down to the 1 yard line, we're not going to throw it to James Harrison." - Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt on what Arizona will do differently in their first meeting with Pittsburgh since Super Bowl XLIII

Thank you, thank you, he’ll be here all weekend.

“Whenever you get the ball into the hands of a player like Brady at home, you’ve got problems.” - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

You’d think with such a firm grasp on the obvious, Jones would realize he needs to hire an actual general manager to run his team and keep his nose out of football decisions. And yet, here we are.

“I think the jury is still out on us. I don't run away from that. As a matter of fact, I encourage it. It's a good, working mentality for us to have. We've done some nice things, but due to circumstances we haven't been tested like we will be. The big challenges lie ahead.” - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

You mean next week against New England, followed by the Baltimore rematch? I shudder to think about it just yet.

"When you stink, they're gonna let you know you stink. And I'm all kind of all right with that.'' - Eagles coach Andy Reid on Philadelphia fans

As oft disappointed Eagle fans are well aware.

“Aren't we in enough controversy in the family right now? We're happy to go play wherever they put us." - Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, alluding to his brother's near fisticuffs when asked if the Ravens had felt slighted for not playing a home Monday night game since December 2007

It would seem that John is the diplomatic one then.

"When this opportunity arose, we felt we could not let it pass and needed to take a step forward with the football team if we could." – Bengals owner Mike Brown on trading Carson Palmer to Oakland

I’m frankly still stunned he actually did it.

Idiot of the Week

Oh please, by a ridiculously large margin, we have two clear cut winners and our first dual award of idiot. This week, the inglorious honor goes to 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and Lions head coach Jim Schwartz for their ridiculous dust up following the 49ers triumph over the Lions which dropped Detroit from the ranks of the unbeaten.

The incident stemmed from what Schwartz felt was rude and profanity laden post game hand shake, which caused Schwartz to see red, start cursing himself and go after Harbaugh. The donnybrook was only kept from becoming something far more ugly by the fact that both men, in their 40’s, obviously were somewhat aware of the fact they were on national television and didn’t want to look stupid trying to actually fight and the cooler heads of a few nearby team personnel who got between the two potential combatants, giving each a viable excuse as to why actual punches didn’t fly and allowed them to continue jawing at each other and acting like jackasses until they expressed the proper amount of bravado.

Let’s not kid each other about the particulars that led to this nonsensical non-fight. Harbaugh knew exactly what he was doing with that dismissive hand shake he gave Schwartz. He wanted to show exactly how he felt about Schwartz and his previously unbeaten squad and was all too happy to rub it in. And Schwartz showed what a sore loser he really is, by taking Harbaugh’s bait and foolishly overreacting to his infantile behavior because he was so ticked he got beat.

By showing that they both have the maturity of two ten year olds fighting over a candy bar and that they have both adopted the juvenile attitudes expected from the younger members of their teams, Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz you are both idiots.

On Tap This Week

I had a bad feeling about last week as I set my picks. I didn’t know why I had a bad feeling, I just did. Apparently, my spider sense was tickling for a good reason. Remember what I said last week about going 7-6?

Last week: 7-6

Season to Date: 62-28

Woof. Yeah, that happened. Oh well, as they say there’s always next week. Hey, it IS next week! Good times.

Sitting at home tweeting lockout jokes at NBA players:

Buffalo, Cincinnati, New England, New York Giants, Philadelphia, San Francisco

Sunday

San Diego (4-1) at New York Jets (3-3)

I wonder if it was a good idea for Rex Ryan to publically humiliate the coach of the team he has to face this week. Especially when said coach and team have had two weeks to prepare for Ryan’s porous defense and anemic offense? I’d call this a blow out if Norv Turner were not the offended coach.

Chargers over Jets

Chicago (3-3) vs. Tampa Bay (4-2) at Wembley Stadium

London Baby! The NFL’s annual overseas game, which if Goodell gets his wish, and he usually does, will become multiple games in the future. Chicago is infighting with management and has an injured Devin Hester. Yeah, I’m going with the “home team”.

Buccaneers over Bears

Seattle (2-3) at Cleveland (2-3)

Oh, crud, I guess Cleveland since they are at home. But I don’t feel good about it.

Browns over Seahawks

Atlanta (3-3) at Detroit (5-1)

Ok, Atlanta got a big must need win last week, even if it were against the undermanned Panthers. Meanwhile, Detroit now has zero running game without Best and looked rather exposed last week against San Francisco. But I’m giving them another chance, because they’ve been more consistent than Atlanta in my book thus far.

Lions over Falcons

Houston (3-3) at Tennessee (3-2)

Watch how fast the wheels come of that Houston playoff train.

Titans over Texans

Washington (3-2) at Carolina (1-5)

Coming as a surprise to no one, and I’m including Rex Grossman in that number, Washington will grant John Beck his first start of the season at quarterback. While that sounds shaky at best, I must say I did not care much at all for my ride on the Cam Newton bandwagon last week.

Redskins over Panthers

Denver (1-4) at Miami (0-5)

I watched some of the Miami/New York Monday night game. And I don’t care how many stats, examples, diagrams or film clips you show me, I still feel better about taking Denver and Tim Tebow on the road than trusting Matt Moore to win a game.

Broncos over Dolphins

Pittsburgh (4-2) at Arizona (1-4)

It’s always fun to play the Steelers West in Arizona. It gives Pittsburgh 9 home games a season. Enjoy the Super Bowl XLIII rematch; the results will be the same.

Steelers over Cardinals

Kansas City (2-3) at Oakland (4-2)

Alright, with a good defense and running game, I’m willing to give the first start of the Carson Palmer era in Oakland a chance. Although I think Hue Jackson missed a golden opportunity to get Favre in Silver and Black.

Raiders over Chiefs

Green Bay (6-0) at Minnesota (1-5)

Donovan McNabb has been benched in favor of rookie Christian Ponder. I know, big shocker there. Regardless, like there's even a remote chance I’d give Minnesota another chance after that debacle in Chicago last week.

Packers over Vikings

St. Louis (0-5) at Dallas (2-3)

Ok, here’s where Dallas starts to get healthy and Jerry Jones starts boasting again.

Cowboys over Rams

Indianapolis (0-6) at New Orleans (4-2)

This will be the game when we see Peyton Manning’s head explode in the coaches’ box.

Saints over Colts

Monday

Baltimore (4-1) at Jacksonville (1-5)

One step closer to introducing the new head coach of the 2013 Los Angeles Jaguars.

Ravens over Jaguars