The Crystal Ball 2011 Week 1

Before we lose our minds today inundating ourselves with the national obsession that is professional football and all of the ancillary nonsense that goes along with it, I ask that everyone please remember today, the anniversary of 9/11, and those who lost their lives on this horrible day. Take the time to recall the impact that terrible day has made on all of us as a society and individuals. Reflect on where we were that atrocious day, how we pulled together as a nation and a society to make it through those initial dark days, how we forged ahead and made it to today and where we could and should go as a country and a civilization in the future while recognizing this significant milestone in world history. I ask also to please take some time to thank those who work tirelessly to keep us safe, who selflessly lay down their lives for something greater than themselves, and those who protect and serve us every day. Without their sacrifices, none of what we will enjoy today would be possible.

Opening Kickoff

So for the NFL Kickoff party, this year the opening act was the President addressing Congress and the nation, followed by Maroon 5 and Kid Rock? What, the Black Eyed Peas were busy?

The Way It Was

Yes, brace yourselves kiddies, this is gonna be a big one. After all, it’s kickoff weekend in the NFL, and much like the truncated training camps, we’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there. So prep the grill and tune the TV early and give us some extra time to entertain you before the main act hits the field.

Anyone else enjoy the nail biting shootout from Green Bay Thursday night? Was that not the kind of high flying action you wanted to see to start the NFL season? Of course it was!

The Detroit Lions finished the preseason a perfect 4-0 for the first time since 2008. Let’s hope their regular season doesn’t unfold the same way it did during that inglorious season.

Hall of Famer and original Tampa Bay Buccaneer Lee Roy Selmon passed away. Condolences go out to his family, friends and former teammates who lost a great player and a greater man.

The NFL announced that it will be unable to start testing players for HGH before the season begins. So load up now guys, because the party is coming to an end. What, too cynical?

In trying to find a way to pay tribute to 9/11, Bears linebacker Lance Briggs had equipment specially made by Reebok to show his patriotism. In an obvious PR move, the NFL allowed patriotic uniform modifications for this weekend’s games without retribution of fines. Wait for it…. as long as the modifications and equipment are made by NFL licensed companies. There it is! The league is cool with players putting their hearts on their sleeves during this momentous Sunday, as long as a sponsor sewed that heart on.

The Ravens, in adding pieces to a sieve of an offensive line, signed recently released center Andre Gurode to back up the aging Matt Birk. It sounds like Joe Flacco may encounter some problems with protection.

The Titans and Chris Johnson finally worked through their differences and Johnson got his huge contract with guaranteed money as he had hoped and now will be playing in Week 1 for the rebuilding Titans. Fantasy football players everywhere breathed a sigh of relief.

Arizona plucked Chester Taylor off the waiver wire from the Bears. How long until he starts taking carries away from Beanie Wells? I say by Week 3.

Claiming the quarterback was inconsistent, yet everyone with a pair of eyes and a modicum of common sense can tell it was a financial move, Jack Del Rio and the Jaguars released quarterback David Garrard mere days before the start of the 2011 season. Del Rio, who needs to make the playoffs to keep his job according to Jacksonville ownership, handed the keys to the offense to journeyman Luke McCown. From the timing of the release and the language used in explaining the parting of the ways, this sounds exactly like the move Del Rio pulled a few years ago when he released Byron Leftwich. Something tells me that before the end of the season, Del Rio will be labeled inconsistent and cut from the team.

Speaking of Jacksonville, former running back Fred Taylor signed a ceremonial one day contract to retire from the team. Best keep running from that mess Fred.

The Patriots in a surprise move cut safety Brandon Meriweather. I guess Belichick was tired of having a questionable character guy making his team look bad.

The Dolphins, who released running back Larry Johnson on the final day of cut downs, have re-signed the running back as insurance. I wonder if their rookie running back gets healthy if they’ll cut Johnson again before Monday night.

With rumors swirling regarding his health and playing status, Peyton Manning and the Colts dropped an atomic bomb on fantasy football owners, Colts fans and the NFL in general by announcing that Manning had a third neck surgery in 19 months Thursday and will be out indefinitely. Memo to Kerry Collins: the last time you donned blue and white for football games, you went undefeated. Time to muster some of that ol’ Penn State magic once again.

The Steel Pit

As we gird our loins in preparation for the brutal slugfest that will occur shortly in Maryland, now would be a good time to point out a few changes you’ll see in this corner of The Crystal Ball.

This space will no longer refer to Ben Roethlisberger as Big Douche. While popular opinion seems to remain he’s a loathed cad, he is showing he has grown and matured, and is continuing his openness with the fans and media. I do believe our little quarterback may just be growing up, a thought echoed by his teammates when they voted him team captain again. Going forward, in reference to his recent nuptials, he will be known as Big Groom. Yes, I know, he’s already married, but it sounds better than Big Newlywed.

Hines Watch – This will be a running feature throughout the season. Steelers’ receiver Hines Ward needs just 46 receptions to reach 1000 receptions for his career, which would make him the 8^th receiver in NFL history to accomplish such a milestone. And to think, this would be done by a guy who spent his entire career in a run first oriented team and with a bevy of scrubs at quarterback before 2004. Combine those numbers with the fact that he holds almost every significant Steeler receiving record, has two Super Bowl rings and one Super Bowl MVP trophy, that’s looking like a mighty fine Hall of Fame resume. Ward is also 17 touchdowns away from 100 so we’ll keep an eye on that too, although we may have to wait until next season for that tree to bear fruit.

And of course, we’ll reference often as we did last year, the power that is Brett Keisel’s beard.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Bungles running back Cedric Benson was released from jail, having served 5 days on a 20 day sentence for assault. Curiously, there has been no word from the league offices regarding a suspension for a convicted player who served time.

Raiders quarterback Terrelle Pryor, who stated after he was drafted by Oakland in the supplemental draft that he would not appeal the 5 game suspension imposed upon him from Heir Goodell, has changed his mind. The rookie signal caller will indeed appeal the suspension. I don’t think Goodell has any right to suspend Pryor for infractions made in college, but Pryor is not starting his NFL career off on the right foot. As of right now to me, this kid’s career smells of a mix of JaMarcus Russell and Maurice Clarett. Let’s hope it just doesn’t end involving drugs, guns, prison or purple drank.

The Colts hired disgraced former Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel as a game day consultant, and then promptly suspended him, since Goodell apparently forgot to suspend Tressel for the same infractions for which he suspended Pryor.

Some bored reporters cajoled Rob Ryan into talking about his brother Rex and his foot peccadilloes. This should make Sunday night’s game a bit more interesting, at least according to Dr. Scholl.

I know this time of year can be difficult for many people. It’s hard to figure out which teams are special and which teams will stink like a dirty gym bag. Without actual information, how is anyone supposed to fill out their game day pools? No need to fret, dear confused NFL fan, EA has you covered. This is too good of a toy to go to waste. We will be revisiting this in the future.

After being shown the latest issue of GQ featuring Mark Sanchez, Aaron Rodgers called the cheesecake photo spread “embarrassing.” Sanchez responded by stating he thought Rodgers was, “obviously making a joke out of it.” See, it’s that ability to suspend reality that has Sanchez believing he’s a franchise quarterback.

Upon Further Review

I think I have made it abundantly clear through the few seasons we’ve spent together that I find preseason predictions ridiculous. How can one really determine any outcome until there is actual verifiable data on which to base their forecasts? But by reviewing some of the greatest hits from The Crystal Ball during the lockout, I find that despite my protestations, I seem to be as eager as everyone else to make prognostications regarding the upcoming season without actual games played.

So this season, I’ve decided to just steer into the wave and make a prediction for every team this season, plus a few for the NFL in general just for fun. All predictions made with tongue firmly in cheek and all guaranteed to come true or your money back. Money back guarantee only valid with proof of purchase and original register receipt.

At least one team with a new coaching staff and/or quarterback will show that the much bandied theory that teams with new coaches and systems are at a competitive disadvantage and will do poorly is a load of bunk.

Mark Sanchez will make the leap this season, to male model.

The Packers will find that defending a Super Bowl championship is as difficult as people say.

The best Manning in football this season will be in New York, not in Houston.

To everyone jumping on the 2011 Detroit Lions bandwagon, please refer to the Houston Texans bandwagon circa 2008, 2009 and 2010. It may still be a touch early.

The Bungles will validate Carson Palmer’s decision to “retire”.

Dallas will dramatically improve over last season, mainly because it’s terribly difficult to crash and burn as badly as last season.

Tom Brady will be apoplectic when he calls for a roughing the passer penalty and the referee gives him a blank look. Luckily, that will not happen often.

Even if Washington manages to drag themselves off the mat, Dan Snyder will find a way to submarine any successful efforts and then blame someone else.

The Bills will at least look better in their new uniforms, even if they do not play better.

New Orleans will prove to the world that their playoff flop against the Seahawks last season was a fluke, at least during the regular season.

Chad Henne will justify Dolphins fans requests for Kyle Orton.

Kevin Kolb will not elicit comparisons to former Buffalo backup quarterback turned starter flop Rob Johnson, at least not at first.

Ray Lewis will once again lead the league in jumping on the pile after the tackle.

By Week 4, some quarterback needy team will find rumors swirling around it regarding the return of Favre.

Michael Vick will be transcendent as the Eagles starting quarterback….until Week 10.

Since every article written has referred to him as such, new Cincinnati offensive coordinator Jay Gruden will officially change his name to Jay (Brother of Jon) Gruden. It'll be easier that way.

Seattle’s 12^th man will not stem the tide of another losing season, this time sans a playoff appearance.

At some point despite my protestations otherwise, the Denver brain trust will feel the Neckbeard has not done enough and turn to Tebow. Unfortunately, even if he ends a game with a perfect quarterback rating, Tim has as much of a chance of being accepted by the national sports media as Jay Cutler convincing Bears fans he isn’t soft.

By the time the season is one quarter over, everyone complaining about touchbacks will forget about the controversy regarding moving the kickoff from the 30 to the 35 yard line. The Green Bay/New Orleans game should be proof this will come to pass.

After changing teams, cities, teammates and playing in an offensive system that is not a derivation of the West Coast Offense for the first time in his career, Matt Hasselbeck will make Luke McCown look like a logical choice.

Ndamukong Suh will do something this season that will cause all of his apologists to finally admit he's a dirty player.

What’s to say about the Jaguars other than they gave up winning for saving a few bucks by cutting Garrard, Del Rio will be out of a job by January, and before long, LA may finally have their NFL team.

Despite moving the kickoff from the 30 to the 35, Joshua Cribbs will still be the most interesting player on Cleveland’s roster.

And the same goes for Devin Hester in Chicago.

In the offseason, the Chargers kept the same roster, lost Ron Rivera to a head coaching job in Carolina and hung onto Norv Turner. And how exactly is this supposed to improve the team? Oh yeah, because the rest of their division is an even bigger question mark.

Donovan McNabb will make Vikings fans forget about Tarvaris Jackson. Take that as you will.

For the first time in the last six years, the Steelers offense may have to actually carry the defense, with spectacular results. I hope.

Just when Sam Bradford finds his stride, Steven Jackson will break down and make the Rams offense one dimensional and predictable.

Indianapolis was not going to become the first team to host a Super Bowl, even before the Peyton Manning injury saga began.

Matt Ryan will once again, at least twice during the regular season, make people wonder how he acquired the nickname Matty Ice.

A more competitive schedule, and a lack of Charlie Weis running the offense, will make the Chiefs, and by default Todd Haley, look really bad.

Poor Patrick Willis, another tremendous season forthcoming, another wasted effort.

Raider fans will be missing Tom Cable by mid season and cursing the name of Hue “Wormtongue” Jackson, who poisoned the mind of Al Davis and convinced him against the wishes of the players to jettison Cable, the one coach the Raiders have had this century who not only gave a crap about the team but had them showing improvement, in favor of Jackson himself who has never been a head coach at any level.

At least once this season, some opposing defender will hit Ben Roethlisberger in a way that the NFL has clearly established as a penalty, and officials will do nothing. Most likely, that will happen today.

If you can name more than three Carolina Panthers without looking up their roster, and Cam Newton Jimmy Clausen and Steve Smith do not count, then I will agree they have a puncher’s chance at claiming the NFC South.

Raheem Morris will improve as a head coach and Josh Freeman will improve as a starting quarterback and the only tangible evidence Buccaneers fans will see is the transfer of the title of best division in the conference from the NFC East to the NFC South, albeit grudgingly from East Coast writers.

If the Texans fail to claim the AFC South crown, Charlie Casserly will begin to laugh maniacally and uncontrollably on Total Access Live.

4 to 7 of the teams that made the playoffs last season will fail to do so this season. That is the average turnover rate per season. Early guesses as to who will miss the cut this year? Seattle, Kansas City, Chicago and Indianapolis.

The Super Bust Watch

One of my favorite parts of the season is determining who will play in the Super Bust. For those who are unfamiliar with our own all-star game, it was born out of annoyance and frustration from media outlets attempting to prognosticate Super Bowl participants and glean a winner without a single down of meaningful football yet to be played. I’ve maintained that it’s a ridiculous exercise in futility, and continue to enjoy exposing the stupidity of those who insist on participating in choosing winners without any consequential data.

As those who are longtime readers of The Crystal Ball are aware, The Super Bust would match the two consensus pre season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. The creation of this game would fill the void between the championship games and the Super Bowl, and provide the participating teams, the fans, support businesses and the NFL at large with untold benefits.

Now when this concept was first introduced, the Pro Bowl was still played at its traditional time, the week after the Super Bowl. Since then, Goodell and the NFL decided to move the Pro Bowl in between the conference championships and the Super Bowl, filling that football free void. So for the Super Bust to actually work, the Pro Bowl needs to return to its proper time, after the Super Bowl.

I can guarantee that this game would provide exciting football. The two chosen teams would be so bitter about not playing in the Super Bowl, despite being favorites to appear in the big game at the beginning of the season, and forced to play in a sideshow exhibition game they would take out their frustrations on each other. And with only the off season looming next week, all caution would be thrown to the wind. You want hard hitting slobber knocking football? The Super Bust would fit that bill. The game is that simple, and that genius. Plus, it would be fun to gather all the media talking heads together during the pregame show to discuss the participating teams, knowing these clubs were their choices to play for the Lombardi Trophy. Hello awkward conversation!

Unfortunately, last year I did not identify the two preseason Super Bowl favorites to tag them as our Super Bust participants. Considering how much I enjoy this exercise, I’m not even sure how that happened. It must have been too many Primanti Brothers sandwiches.

But if you’re curious, and I know I was, let’s compare the 2007 through 2009 season’s preseason favorites to who actually made the Super Bowl.

2009 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC - New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

2009 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – Indianapolis Colts

2008 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Dallas Cowboys

AFC – New England Patriots

2008 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – Arizona Cardinals

AFC – Pittsburgh Steelers

2007 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – New England Patriots

2007 Actual Super Bowl Participants

NFC – New York Giants

AFC – New England Patriots

A few items of note here. One, sports writers are lazy and continually pick New England overall as their favorite to reach the Super Bowl, and often to win it. Yet the Patriots have not won a Super Bowl since the 2004 season and have not won a playoff game since the 2007 AFC Championship game.

Of all the picks, the 2007 Patriots were the only team to actually make the Super Bowl. They had been widely picked to win the Super Bowl over every other team that season, yet they lost the game and their chance at immortality and a 19-0 record in a heartbreaking, to Patriots fans, Super Bowl loss. That still feels good to say.

Of all actual Super Bowl participants, none made the big game again the next season. That doesn’t seem to bode well for Steeler and Packer fans, now does it?

So what about the 2011 season? Well, after searching high and low and comparing picks from various media outlets, I have determined the consensus choices from the AFC and the NFC to represent their respective conferences in the Super Bowl. Those teams are….

2011 Preseason Consensus Super Bowl Favorites

NFC – Green Bay Packers

AFC – New England Patriots

The Patriots were the favorite to win the AFC, and the Super Bowl, by a wide margin. Apparently for many out there, in Belichick they trust.

Alternates: Each conference also has an alternate choice, a team favored to make the Super Bowl, but not as highly as the overall choice. And since the inception of the Super Bust, there has actually been one preseason favorite that did meet expectations, so it’s good to keep an alternate choice in reserve for each conference. Because we still need the revenue from this game or the NFL will go broke.

NFC – New Orleans Saints

AFC – San Diego Chargers

So there you go, ladies and gentlemen, you’re choices for the 2011 Super Bust. Keep an eye on these teams throughout the season. Whilst others think they will go to and/or win the Super Bowl, I know they will only be in line for a Bust.

He Said He Said

"It's very close. They both have done a good job and had good numbers. When we review the tape, it’s pretty neck-and-neck." – Redskins offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan on the competition at quarterback between Rex Grossman and John Beck

If I were a Redskin fan, the thought of those two as my choices at quarterback would make me want to vomit.

"They talk a whole lot. They don't like us. I think they don't like us a lot more than we don't like them. I think they have to talk themselves into it, kind of, know what I mean? Since I've been here, we've beat them a lot more than they beat us. They have to talk about it a whole lot." – Steelers nose tackle Casey Hampton

Well, give them something else to talk about on Sunday, Big Snack.

"There's no way I can replace someone like Peyton and what he means for this team and this franchise," Collins said. "But I will bust my butt to get ready and I hope the guys see that." – Colts new starting quarterback Kerry Collins

To think that a month ago, Kerry was planning on spending September watching a few games and writing some songs. Now he has to carry the expectations of an entire franchise on his shoulders. Maybe he should have just let voicemail take that call.

“I love Randy. He's one of the greatest receivers in the history of the game, one of the greatest players I've ever had a chance to play with, and I love the guy. Unfortunately, I don't make personnel decisions. If he ever did have the opportunity to come back, I'd certainly welcome him with open arms." – Patriots quarterback Tom Brady on the possibility of the return of Randy Moss

Now is that just a polite comment or is Tom Terrific perhaps less than thrilled with Ochocinco? Hmmm I betting it’s the latter.

"We are flabbergasted that Tiki has not had an opportunity with any team, especially when rosters were at 90 players this year. I certainly thought some team would be intrigued to see what he had left in the tank.'' – Agent Mark Lepselter on the lack of interest in his client Tiki Barber

Really? Are you really that shocked that no one was interested in a 36 year old running back that hasn’t played in 4 years and is a known locker room distraction? That is the definition of delusion.

“The Jets and Patriots play Oct. 9 and Nov. 13. Let the unending hype begin.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Oh please! This snarky remark comes from an unabashed Red Sox fan that constantly hypes every Sox/Yankees series and has yet to shut up about Patriots/Colts matchups. It’s the same dumb hype Peter; you just choose not to feed this particular beast.

I predict we will be playoff bound. I don’t think there is really any other way for us to go. We don’t really have a choice at this point. There will be a lot of changes made if we can’t get it done with this group right here, so that’s the type of pressure we put on ourselves. We’re excited about it.” – Texans tight end Owen Daniels

That’s some confident talk, but with the stars aligning, can you walk the walk too Owen?

"To say I am disappointed in not being able to play is an understatement. The best part about football is being out there on the field playing with my teammates. It will be tough not to be out there playing for the organization and our fans. I simply am not healthy enough to play, and I am doing everything I can to get my health back. The team will do fine without me, and I know for sure that I will miss them much more than they miss me." – Colts quarterback Peyton Manning

No, I’m pretty sure they’ll miss you more than you miss them, Peyton.

“No better place to be, right Bob?” – Roger Goodell to Bob Costas during the NFL pregame show before the Packers/Saints game on being in Green Bay.

I imagine he said that because he was thinking he could have been in Pittsburgh for opening night amongst a throng of fired up Steelers fans zinging barbs at him.

Idiot of the Week

Wow, only one game played and already people are lining up for their shot at Idiot. I couldn’t be happier. But who has truly earned it?

Perhaps Indianapolis, for not having a decent contingency plan in place just in case the unthinkable, losing Peyton Manning, should ever come to pass? Yes, tremendously dumb, but it’s not like there was any injury precedent to work with until now. Yes, tremendously short sighted, but not idiot worthy.

Perchance we could go with nominee Sean Payton for having a chance to tie the game at the end Thursday night and failing miserably? Come on Sean, you have one play to make one yard, and you go with an obvious run up the middle against a defense that to that point had stuffed multiple runs up the middle all game? Sean Payton, what were you thinking? Extremely dumb, but not quite up to the level we’re looking for.

No, the real Idiot this week is new Jets receiver Plaxico Burress.

In the latest issue of Men’s Journal (what is it with that magazine and getting guys to go off?), Burress blasts former head coach Tom Coughlin and quarterback Eli Manning.

Of Burress’ comments, my favorite is this snippet about speaking with Coughlin after the shooting incident:

“And then I sat in (Coughlin's) office, and he pushed back his chair and goes, 'I'm glad you didn't kill anybody!' Man, we're paid too much to be treated like kids. He doesn't realize that we're grown men and actually have kids of our own."

Seriously Plax? You just got arrested for illegally carrying a firearm into a nightclub, with which you accidently shot yourself in the leg as the gun slipped down the leg of your sweatpants (insert tacky sartorial comment here), and then tried to get the ER doctors to not report the shooting incident to police after you gave the hospital a fake name, which medical personnel are required to do by law. And you're complaining that your head coach, who is your employer and not your guardian best friend or parental figure, is not treating you like a grown man? I think a grown man would know better than to go into a night club wearing sweatpants with a gun tucked into the waist band, especially if said man has KIDS AT HOME!

There was a point in time that I agreed with Burress and felt that he was saddled with a ridiculous sentence and used as an example by the city and state of New York to discourage illegal weapons. But from the snippets in the article, it's painfully obvious Burress has learned nothing from his prison experience and if you never learn and grow, and continue to blame others for every bad thing that happens to you, you’re bound to make the same mistakes over and over again. I'm glad he didn't re-sign with Pittsburgh. Plaxico Burress, because of your infantile comments, immature attitudes and childish retorts you remain, whether you like it or not, a giant Idiot.

On Tap This Week

Ok, the appetizer on Thursday night was delicious. How about we dig into a full course meal now?

Thursday: 1-0

Season to Date: 1-0

There’s nothing like perfection to kick off the season. Let’s see if we cannot keep this train a’rollin.

Sunday

Cincinnati (0-0) at Cleveland (0-0)

The Andy Dalton era begins in Cincinnati. Welcome to the Jungle indeed.

Browns over Bungles

Detroit (0-0) at Tampa Bay (0-0)

With everybody touting them as a playoff team, I guess Detroit is this year’s “sleeper”. I’m going with the Josh Freeman Express myself.

Buccaneers over Lions

Buffalo (0-0) at Kansas City (0-0)

Oh when will the good people of Buffalo get a break? Not this week, or most likely this season.

Chiefs over Bills

Atlanta (0-0) at Chicago (0-0)

I know, dangerous to take road teams on opening weekend, but let’s just say I trust Chicago less than Atlanta, and that’s not saying much.

Falcons over Bears

Philadelphia (0-0) at St. Louis (0-0)

Dream Team Act 1.

Eagles over Rams

Pittsburgh (0-0) at Baltimore (0-0)

“It’s the best rivalry in sports. I think it’s got everything fans want to see in this game, the hatred between the two teams, the physical play. It’s got everything.” – Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs

‘Nuff said.

Steelers over Ravens

Indianapolis (0-0) at Houston (0-0)

Ok Houston, let’s lay this out for you in simple terms. Tennessee has a new head coach and a retread quarterback, they’re .500 at best. Jacksonville gave up already and Indianapolis is a mere shell of itself without Peyton. There will never be a better time to take the AFC South and head to the playoffs for the first time in your team’s history. It starts today. Time to nut up or shut up.

Texans over Colts

Tennessee (0-0) at Jacksonville (0-0)

Yeah, not always a wise move to pick road teams during Week 1, but since Jack Del Rio has done everything he can to hasten his termination, I figure Tennessee will at least try a bit harder to win a game.

Titans over Jaguars

Carolina (0-0) at Arizona (0-0)

Memo to Cam Newton: If things become difficult in the NFL, you cannot just transfer to a different team/school. These will be called growing pains. Extremely painful ones at that.

Cardinals over Panthers

Seattle (0-0) at San Francisco (0-0)

Here’s your crap shoot game of the week. It’s Week 1, so I suppose it’s probably best to go with the old axiom and pick the home team. It’s the best justification I can come up to pick either team.

49ers over Seahawks

New York Giants (0-0) at Washington (0-0)

No, I do not like New York’s defense and their early season impression of a MASH unit. And let’s not get into their offense too much either. On top of that, Eli was pretty crappy against Washington last season, and Mike Shanahan has had a rather quiet preseason. Let the teeth gnashing in New York begin. Call this my surprise upset.

Redskins over Giants

Minnesota (0-0) at San Diego (0-0)

San Diego had the number one rated offense and defense last season, but failed to win their division or make the playoffs. But once again, people are touting them as a playoff team and division winner. And while on paper I would agree, one thing keeps holding me back from believing the hype. Norv Turner. As for today …..

Chargers over Vikings

Dallas (0-0) at New York Jets (0-0)

The Ryan twins will face off in New Jersey, with poor Jason Garrett being the afterthought. Here’s what I want to know, who is Buddy rooting for and who will leave the field with a foot in their mouth?

Jets over Cowboys

Monday

New England (0-0) at Miami (0-0)

Yes, I am aware that New England’s record in Miami over the past few years has been surprisingly less than stellar. But really, do you feel good about a defense led by an aged Jason Taylor against Tom Brady? I don’t. And considering Tony Sparano is preparing his team to deal with excessive crowd noise from opposing fans for a home game that has to be a bad sign for Dolphin success.

Patriots over Dolphins

Oakland (0-0) at Denver (0-0)

Yes, Denver is going into the season with a new head coach, new systems and not much time to implement either. But technically, so is Oakland. So, well…Eh, this is the second game of the opening weekend Monday night doubleheader, so no one is watching anyway.

Broncos over Raiders