The Crystal Ball 2011 Cutting The Lock

Ok, someone affiliated with the NFL please come forward and come clean to me and tell me the truth. The NFLPA de-certification and the NFL lockout were just ruses to give Brett Favre more time to decide whether he'll play in 2011 weren’t they? I knew it.

Opening Kickoff

It seems the NFL found their keys and the lockout is coming to an end. Our long national nightmare is over. Or at least, the incessant reporting of nothing for 24 hours a day from the NFL Network is over.

Did you have fun on your NFL-free vacation? I know I did. Vacations to new places where I made new friends and saw old ones. A series of developments that led to an official new TCB headquarters which includes a dedicated viewing room complete with fireplace, beverage station, soon to be installed surround sound and easy access to the refrigerator on game days and a tremendous back yard to sequester rambunctious dogs in on said game days. It also comes with a grocery list of things to do, like installing said surround sound but hey, that helped ease the burden of no mini camps, so it all works out.

Plus I found out that baseball is fun, and a winning team does make PNC Park that much better. Who knew? And to be honest, with how the Pirates are playing currently, I'd have been fine with the lockout continuing through September or even later, dare I dream. As it is, I'm going to have to juggle some sports viewing with all of my favorite teams playing so tremendously. And yes, my wallet is too small for my hundreds and my diamond shoes are too tight.

But the NFL and the Players Union have decided to pull their collective crap together and now demands our attention once again. Already we’re being inundated with details of the CBA, how free agency will work, and new salary caps and revised schedules for the beginning of the league year and training camp schedules. But before we get too far into free agency signings, draft pick signings and the start of training camp, all of which will happen in the next six days, and even before we start predicting this year’s Super Bowl winner and gaze unworthily upon the beauty that is Tom Brady, let's review some of the best, and worst, which has happened since the league locked the doors and said go away.

Mind you this is not a comprehensive list, just merely some highlights and lowlights from a strange NFL off season, one where the league found new and interesting ways to stay in the headlines without fining James Harrison. If we were covering everything, this would be about the size of a magazine. And nobody wants to start the NFL season off sifting through 10,000 words about nothing with the exception of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.

So, with that being said, what did happen in the unsupervised wastelands of the 2011 off season?

The Steel Pit

Last off season, and last season as well, were rather tumultuous for Pittsburgh. Between off the field scandals and on field injuries and fines, drama was the word of the day. And that word followed them all the way to the Super Bowl. To say we were all a bit fatigued by the end of the season of hearing about Big Ben’s boorish behavior, James Harrison’s constant carping, even if rightly so, about the league’s fining policy as well as every other tabloid worthy factoid would be an understatement. With the NFL in lockout mode, all I really wanted was a nice, quiet off season with no scandal or drama. I got neither.

On the good side of the media ledger was Troy Polamalu finishing his degree from USC and now a full college graduate. Of course, in full Troy mode, Polamalu stated he should have completed his degree years ago and espoused the benefits and importance of an education. That Troy, always the humble, self effacing man who leads by example.

Ok that was not so bad it was a downright uplifting story. So what was so bad about the offseason?

Well, let’s start with Hines Ward. First, he spends his off season doing the reality competition show Dancing with the Stars. By itself this was fine. It exposed the world to Hines’ 1000 Megawatt smile and his funny charming personality while showing he is a competitor no matter what he attempts to do.

Despite a few setbacks along the way, including being stopped by the LAPD and dropping his dance partner on her neck during a scary looking rehearsal; Hines pulled it together and won it all. Yes the Mirror Ball trophy found a new home in Pittsburgh, and the city celebrated Hines’ victory in place of another celebration they had been planning in early February.

Nothing wrong with that, right? He certainly did better than Ochocinco and that’s enough for any Steeler fan. But then he submarined his own new found fame and public good will by going out and having a few drinks then getting arrested for drunk driving. I have no problem with an adult of legal age enjoying a night out, but for goodness sake be smart about it. Come on Hines, I’m sure you could have sprung for a cab. The lesson learned here, other than the obvious one of hiring some sort of transportation service, is Steelers should stay out of Georgia because nothing good ever comes from being there.

Moving on, we find running back Rashard Mendenhall, who just seems to not understand that you do not have to share everything that’s on your mind with Twitter posts.

Mendenhall kicked off his foot –in-mouth off season by backing up Adrian Peterson, who compared the NFL to slavery. Considering that many fans will never make in a lifetime what many NFL player do, that no one is forcing players into the NFL against their will, and that unfortunately actual slavery does still exist in our world, the common response to Mendenhall’s comments were, to paraphrase and clean up the language, shut up and work on your ball security. As it turned out, James Harrison agrees with part of that statement.

Ok, so he takes a ton of public heat for a few misconstrued comments spoken at a time when NFL and player relations were strained and emotions high. That could be forgiven, and probably forgotten as time moves on. Time has a wonderful way of doing that as you know.

But no, Rashard just could not help himself and showed he has yet to learn how words can enflame. After the U.S. Navy Seals did a tremendous job in finishing the hunt for Osama Bin Laden, Mendenhall posted a series of twits, I mean tweets, that questioned the validity and physics of the 9/11 attacks and the glee of the country over the death of Bin Laden. Predictably and unsurprisingly, he was roasted by the media and the general public. I think I understand what he was trying to say, which I took to be that death should not be celebrated no matter how evil the person who died may be.

What Mendenhall missed however was that many people who lost loved ones in 2001 and since still feel that pain and heartache and are still dealing with their loss 10 years later. Those who gathered at the White House and in other areas around the country were not there to merely celebrate death. They felt compelled to spontaneously gather and share the moment together and bond as countrymen who have felt helpless and scared and now can feel strong and good again, to help heal from the wounds inflicted on that terrible day in September. They gathered to express joy that this could mean their loved ones still serving may come home sooner, as a show of support and a thank you to those who have served and sacrificed to find this man and thank our leaders who were true to their promise to find the man responsible for such a senseless act. It wasn’t celebrating death; it was a cathartic expression of a wide spectrum of emotions that culminated in a moment not soon forgotten.

I understand Mendenhall sees himself as an intelligent person, prone to deeper, more thought provoking views than your standard player. But if he is going to pursue that image, he should put some actual thought into not only what he wants to say publically, but how best to say it and how it may be perceived. And maybe think of expressing himself in a forum where he can fully explain his thoughts and explore the details of subjects that could cause tremendous pain or public fury if misconstrued. A blog post, guest column in a newspaper or magazine or perhaps even a sit down interview would be good choices that would allow him to show his depth and knowledge, Twitter with its limited space and instant worldwide publishing not so much.  Unfortunately in this case, and with his chosen forum he did not provoke much thought, merely ire and landed a nice black eye on the team itself.

But let’s not vilify Mendenhall too much. As he’s not the only one sending haymakers toward the Black and Blue, I mean Gold.

Enter from stage left field James Harrison, who in an interview for Men’s Journal let loose with a tirade against Roger Goodell, the NFL and blasted teammates Rashard Mendenhall and Ben Roethlisberger for their subpar performances in the Super Bowl. James held nothing back when it came to Goodell, pounding him with the verbal equivalent of the body slam he gave Vince Young.

Look, James will be James, and nothing will change that. And personally I think his opinions and perspective on Goodell, how the league went about punishing head shots and Goodell’s judge and jury act were dead on. And from the response players around the league had to Harrison’s words about the commissioner, James is not the only one that feels that way.

The problem is the vitriol he spits at the commissioner overshadows the good points Harrison makes, and he loses credibility when he admits he plays concussed, despite what we are now learning regarding long term damage. And if you really want to be able to call out your teammates for their poor play on the game’s biggest stage, you need to have more than one tackle James. Yeah, Roethlisberger did not do well, and Mendenhall’s fumble couldn’t have come at a worse time. But when I read the stat line and it shows zero sacks, zero interceptions and zero turnovers from number 92, it doesn’t give Harrison much high ground from which to chastise. Plus, it all just comes off as classless and childish and it makes the team look bad.

Mercifully, the only headlines Big Ben created this year were those surrounding his nuptials. Pittsburgh was all atwitter as he wed a local woman with whom he had been dating off and on for 5 years, obviously off last spring. Some even called it Pittsburgh's royal wedding, making connections to Prince William and his 2011 wedding to Kate Middleton. I certainly will not go that far, but I'm sure someone in the Burgh is looking for ways to sell commemorative dinner ware with the newly married couple’s faces plastered everywhere.

With the team headed to training camp on Thursday, perhaps the guys will have too much to do to bother with Twitter, and be too tired to give interviews or head out for an evening on the town. At the very least, Mike Tomlin will now be able to crack a few heads and the drama will mostly be confined to the playing field. Can we try out this slogan this year guys? The 2011 Pittsburgh Steelers, now with 75% less drama!

Only In Faux NFL Lockout Reality…

Despite the lockout NFL draft went on without much incident, despite the fact the players “union” (quotes used as technically at the time they were decertified) initially urged potential draftees to not attend. A classy move by the NFLPA trying to take away a special moment in a young player’s career. But everyone put away their swords for the weekend to allow the annual game of pick 'em to commence. If you cannot remember who your team picked, fear not. Just watch to see who your team signs in the next few weeks. If you don’t recognize the name, it’s probably a draft pick.

Chad Ochocinco managed to stay busy during the lockout, trying out for Kansas City’s soccer team, bull riding and taking a few laps with NASCAR driver Jeff Burton. I’m surprised he didn’t go for the Mustard Belt at Coney Island on the 4^th of July.

The NFL did have a sordid issue to deal with, investigating the usage of player images in uniform to advertise a porn event. And before you ask, no Pacman Jones was not involved.

In one of the initial bizarre moves to occur after the lockout, a Browns fan sued the league and all 32 teams claiming the lockout violated his personal seat license. If anything he should have sued the smooth operating salesperson who talked him into buying season tickets for the Browns.

In other AFC North news, Bungle quarterback Carson Palmer has stated he wants to be traded or he will retire, while the Bungles have stated they will not trade Palmer. I’m curious as to who will blink first. Stay tuned, this will get good.

The story of Laura Vikmanis, a cheerleader for the Bengals and the oldest cheerleader in the NFL at 42 years of age, is reportedly going to be made into a movie. Hmmm, it must have been difficult trying to sell Hollywood on a movie full of foxy cheerleaders.

Terrell Owens tore his ACL in June, effectively destroying his chances of playing in 2011 and potentially ending his career. I bet Al Davis tries to sign him by Sunday anyway. Hey, it looks like Al will get that chance, TO plans on coming back in late preseason. All is right with the world.

Former Giants running back Tiki Barber has announced his intentions to re-enter the NFL in 2011, 4 years after he retired. While at this point where he may sign is still speculation, rumors have swirled of a potential signing with Pittsburgh. Now what did I just say about less drama?

Jay Cutler ended his engagement to Kristin Cavallari, dumping the reality star and devastating her in the process as she purportedly did not see him quitting on the relationship coming. Well Kristin, now you know how Bears fans felt in January.

Quarterback Kerry Collins retired, ending a star crossed career that saw some of the highest highs and lowest lows a professional athlete can endure in the public eye. I'm not sure I'm ready for an NFL without Kerry, or if I'm ready to accept someone with whom I attended college with at the same time is now retired, but I wish him well in his post-NFL endeavors. And something tells me that Kerry will not change his mind next week, like others we know.

Wait what? Favre is changing his mind? Oh COME ON! What, you didn't think we'd be able to restart the NFL without our annual Favre watch, you?

And our condolences go out to Robert Kraft, his family and the Patriots, as Mr. Kraft’s wife Myra passed away last week after a long battle with cancer. While I’ve had my differences with the Patriots as a team, I certainly did not with this remarkable woman who gave so much of her time, money and life to helping others and making our world a better place in which to live. Too often we get caught up in trivial things in our world, and it would be easy for someone in her position to lose sight of what was truly important, but she never did and made sure no one else around her ever did either. Rest in peace Myra you will be missed.

Statistical Analysis Provided by Ray Lewis Industries

During a lockout, NFL players have nothing they are required to do, and basically no supervision. This leads to much downtime to work out, engage in personal hobbies, spend time with family and friends, and find correlations between crime and the NFL.

In a bizarre interview with ESPN, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis stated that without football, crime rates will rise. Personally I’m not sure if he's giving himself and his comrades too much credit for keeping the fabric of society in good repair, or insulting the football watching population of having nothing better to do without football than to turn to crime. Never mind that there would still be college football and the UFL, apparently, only the NFL would keep the Hottentots from running amok.

But hey, stranger theories have been proven to be true, so I thought I’d keep an eye on how the world is going during the long, lonely and most importantly football free lockout to see if this distinct lack of anything resembling NFL football would begin to cause crime rates to rise.

And you know what, Ray Ray was right. Without football there has been a ton of crimes occurring and arrests on the rise. Unfortunately for Ray Ray, most of the rise in arrests was caused by fellow NFL players.

Titans’ receiver Kenny Britt led the charge, being arrested for a car chase, as well as then getting arrested one day after pleading guilty to a driving charge.

Not to be outdone, the Bungles threw their best forward, with Cedric Benson being arrested for assault, Marvin White also being arrested for assault, and Pacman Jones getting cuffed for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Raise your hand if any of this is surprising.

Unfortunately, I also have to mention Hines Ward getting pinched for drunken driving, although Hines maintains his innocence and vows to fight the charge, which surely will just drag out the process and continually remind people of his indiscretion.

To cap things off nicely, mere hours before the lockout officially ended Bills wide receiver Paul Hubbard was arrested for DWI and hitting a police officer with his car.

A search for arrest on NFL.com generated 411 results, and the article reporting Hubbard’s arrest stated his was the 24^th arrest of an NFL player since the lockout began. So I stand corrected, Ray Ray was right; no NFL certainly is a major driver in rising crime rates. It’s a good thing the lockout is finally over before we hear about Peyton Manning getting picked up for shoplifting.

He Said He Said

"Do this research if we don't have a season, watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game." – Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis

Earth calling Ray Ray, you are leaving reality’s orbit….come in please…

“Whenever someone says, "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is, "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."” – Ravens defensive back Domonique Foxworth during a guest column spot for Peter King

I almost did a spit take it made me laugh so hard. Devastatingly accurate observation Mr. Foxworth.

"Any misconduct that is detrimental to the integrity of and public confidence in the NFL will certainly be addressed when play resumes." - NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy addressing off-field behavior misconduct during the lockout.

Does this include locking out the players, because that certainly lowered public confidence in the NFL.

"No matter how much history we study, we'll never understand slavery because we've never been a part of it. There are people in other parts of the world who are 'modern-day slaves' whether legal or illegal. We don't want to make that comparison. Clearly, slaves don't get paid the way we get paid.” – Steelers safety Ryan Clark in response to Adrian Peterson’s comparison of the NFL to slavery

Hmmm, perspective, it’s been lacking in the NFL lately.

"We believe the overall proposal made by the players is fair for both sides and it is time to get this deal done. This is the time of year we as players turn our attention to the game on the field. We hope the owners feel the same way." – Quarterbacks Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees in a statement released to the press urging the owners to agree to the players’ latest offer in mid July

Wait, isn’t this from the same guys who were suing the NFL as recently as, oh July 25^th? Talk about ego running amok, I guess because you three said its time to get back to work, we better get things settled.

"I realize it's a privilege, and I don't want to abuse the privilege.''- Myra Kraft in a 2007 interview regarding the benefits of wealth and charity work

Peter King put this quote out in his Monday Morning Quarterback column on July 25^th, but I felt it was good enough to run again. We should all think this way, about a great many things.

On Tap Next Time

Stay tuned, because as we begin our annual ramp up toward the insanity of the NFL season we will have some fun features, recaps of signings and free agent moves, training camp snippets and the usual haberdashery of nonsense you’ve come to expect here every week. Next time we will have a review of all the lockout baloney that almost sabotaged the most efficient money making machine ever to exist since the formation of the U.S. Treasury.