The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 17

When you do a truncated week, you sometimes miss some good stuff. Like this week, when rumors and questions abounded that a woman doing foot fetish videos was actually Jets head coach Rex Ryan’s wife Michelle, and that the camera man in one of them sounds like Rex. The buzz about this got so big that the Jets felt need to respond. This generated endless snickers in locker rooms around the league, created boundless material for comedians nationwide and gave the Jets yet one more distraction with which to contend. And we learned that Rex, now well known for big talk that sometimes neither he nor his team can back up, is not unfamiliar with sticking a foot in his mouth.

Opening Kickoff

The NFL finally saw fit to punish Brett Favre for the Jenn Sterger incident, fining the injured quarterback $50,000 for failing to cooperate with the investigation yet finding no clear evidence that Favre violated the league’s personal conduct policy. I smell a quiet settlement payment coming soon.

The Way It Was

The highlight of the Ravens/Browns showdown was easily the fun footage of
The A Christmas Story house, which is great tourist attraction located in Cleveland. It gave me warm and fuzzies.

Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco has now become the 4th quarterback to make playoffs in his first three seasons. I know a few Ravens’ fans who find that thought revolting, considering Flacco’s penchant for blowing big games.

I’m sorry Cleveland; you should have beaten Baltimore for your season ending moral victory. Now you must be humiliated at home.

Raise your hands if you predicted a shootout in Chicago between the Jets and Bears. That many people? I think someone is fibbing.

I’m not sure which Florida team pissed me off more. The one who always fails at home or the one who choked away their division and the playoffs

Good grief Dolphins that was Shaun Hill, not Joe Montana. How can one team be so awful at home? I’m beginning to wonder why Pittsburgh didn’t blow this team out of the water.

And a side note to Chad Henne: if you want to be taken seriously as an NFL starting quarterback, a good first step is not to throw a game losing interception for a touchdown. I’m not judging, just recommending.

The same advice can be applied to Mark Sanchez.

Fun fact revealed during Jacksonville’s game: the Jaguars are 0-4 when not rushing for over 100 yards as a team this season. Considering David Garrard’s horrible duck of a pass that was intercepted, I’m not surprised by that fact.

Gee, I was right; the stink of the Giants collapse versus the Eagles was all over the team when they took on the Packers. By getting blown out by Green Bay, they gave the division to the Eagles. But that was painfully obvious when Michael Vick smacked them around mercifully.

Titans’ defensive end William Hayes suffered a concussion when hit in the head by an errant pass from Tennessee quarterback Kerry Collins. Yes, you can make all the jokes you want about this being a microcosm of Tennessee’s season or how this proves how little Titan players are paying attention to the game, but I prefer to look at it differently. Hey, who would have thought Kerry still had that kind of arm strength left?

Devin Hester set the NFL record for the most kick or punt returns in history with his 14th return last week. Now, if only he could develop into a viable receiver.

The Chargers didn't deliver when they needed it most, crapping the bed against a moribund Bungle team. Before anyone starts doing the post mortem on San Diego’s season, allow me to explain why this happened in two simple words: NORV TURNER.

Now former 49er head coach Mike Singletary got into a pee pee match with at the moment starting quarterback Troy Smith when the 49ers still had the season on the line. I cannot imagine why San Francisco finally sent Mike packing.

Due to heavy snow, the Eagles and Vikings waited until Tuesday night to face off, creating the first NFL game played on a Tuesday since 1946. Despite the changing times, Washington blew a winnable game then too by benching their quarterback and overspending on a lazy defensive tackle.

Did I really need the Brett Favre 2010 season video in memoriam? I felt like I was watching yet another well meaning but cheesily produced Oscars segment.

Imagine what would have happened to the Vikings season if Minnesota had started Joe Webb earlier in the year instead of having the albatross of a "legend" hanging around their throats. What? Who blasphemed and said that?

The Steel Pit

Well with no fresh game, there is nothing to review. So as we wait for the war on the shores of Lake Erie, how about we just cover a few nuggets of information about the team that happened this week.

The NFL reduced the fine on James Harrison for hitting Cleveland’s Mohamed Massaquoi from $75,000 to $50,000. I guess violence cannot be fined for more than sex.

The team voted safety Troy Polamalu as their MVP. Troy in his usual humble stance accepted the award then went out of his way to graciously point out everything good his teammates have done this season to help the team and him and then point out why no team sport should have an MVP. Sounds like an MVP to me.

The NFL announced the rosters for the Pro Bowl, with James Harrison, Troy Polamalu being joined on the team by rookie Maurkice Pouncey. It’s like the second coming of Dermontti Dawson I love this kid!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

After a disappointing season marred with quarterback changes, offensive changes and dashed expectations, the 49ers fired head coach Mike Singletary. This brings the total of canned coaches to 4. Hey, maybe Bill Cowher could take this job and be reunited with Jeff Reed!

But rejoice San Francisco fans, good times are coming. The team announced it will also hire a general manager and former owner Ed DeBartolo Jr. will be a consultant for the search. And if we remember our NFL history, we know Ed can build a team.

Chargers owner Dean Spanos stated publically that head coach Norv Turner and general manager A.J. Smith will return next season, effectively giving both the public kiss of death.

Hey, thanks Jerome, this backs up my point about Tom Coughlin and Matt Dodge, see below for more. Does anyone else find it funny that we have to get this kind of blunt honesty from a former player instead of a trained journalist?

An Ohio couple is suing the Bungles because of injuries they suffered thanks to drunken, rowdy fans. Two questions pop into my head. One, why did they wait an entire season to bring forth this lawsuit? And two, if they should win, how big will the impact be for all sporting events and for that matter, any event where large numbers of people gather and alcohol is served? Something tells me a quiet settlement will be reached before the status quo is seriously affected.

Deposed Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb is fine with the inflammatory comments made by his agent yet still worked to distance himself from said comments. Come on Donovan, just come out and call the situation, the Redskins and Shanahan a pile of bull pucky. There’s nothing left to lose at this point, stand up for yourself man!

Upon Further Review

While I usually reserve this section for something related to the field of play, this week I would like to step out and bring up a different subject.

Former talk show host Tucker Carlson stated while filling in as guest host on the Fox News program “Hannity” that Michael Vick should have been given the death penalty for killing dogs. While this is a strong, opinionated stance seemingly for justice, what it truly shows itself to be is nothing more than an inflammatory comment meant to play on the emotions of dog lovers, get his name back into the mainstream and gives conservatives much needed ammunition against the democratic president.

Let’s clarify a few things here. Yes, dog fighting and killing dogs for sport is a truly horrific thing, one I cannot imagine how someone could do and sleep well at night. For total transparency, I have two dogs and a cat, all of which I love beyond belief and will never condone, accept or justify in any way what Vick did to those dogs. But I have, and will, defend his right to become a viable member of society after being punished for his crimes, a stance for which I have taken much heat.

And while Vick did receive significant punishment, including incarceration, loss of income, loss of freedom, lost respect and more, he did not go to federal prison for killing dogs. He went to prison for the associated gambling ring. Punishment in our justice system for dog fighting is woefully pathetic, rarely generating more than a fine for the perpetrators.

Personally I feel we need to change the laws and punishment regarding dog fighting, make punishments stiffer and consequences more severe to truly deter people from continuing this appalling behavior. Is this what Carlson is hoping for as well by spouting off? I doubt it.

If Carlson truly felt this strongly about proper justice and punishment, how come he did not go further and demand stiffer punishment for other players who have broken the law in equally dreadful or deadly ways? What about players who regularly drive drunk and endanger the lives of other human beings? Or what about those embroiled in sexual assault or domestic violence cases? And don’t forget those who have been involved in murder cases, were their punishments too light as well? If Carlson truly gave a damn about law and order, players committing these other crimes, which are perpetrated against other human beings, would at minimum be included in this conversation.

But the vagaries, strengths and deficits of our current justice system, as well as the laws regarding dog fighting and how we punish offenders are not really what Carlson is gunning for here. His true target is democratic president Barack Obama, who in a phone call to Eagles president Jeffrey Lurie congratulated the owner and team for their new green initiatives and for giving Michael Vick a second chance.

Carlson jumped on this like a fly on stink. This was not the President thanking someone for giving an ex-con a second chance. And keep in mind, one of the tenants of our justice system is that once someone pays for their crimes, they are permitted to re-enter the general public and encouraged to become a productive member of society and businesses nationwide give ex-cons second chances all the time. No, to Carlson this is the President condoning dog fighting and an animal killer. Never mind the President has a dog himself, that information is inconvenient to portraying the President as sympathetic to animal murderers.

I would be willing to bet Carlson cares little, and knows less, about actual dog fighting, the laws currently in place to deter it or those who work every day to combat and end those practices. But he knows this subject stirs up powerful emotions in many people with any kind of attachment to a furry four legged friend.

And with that knowledge, he also knows by associating the President with such barbaric behavior, he can use the media buzz he creates to reestablish himself as a well known conservative voice. He doesn’t care about dogs or actual justice, just ratings, popularity and the ability to sell books. Someone please call Jon Stewart, he may be needed to perform another verbal smack down on Mr. Carlson.

He Said He Said

"For anyone to insinuate that I have a wish list of coaches to be fired at this time of the year, I have too much respect for the profession." - CBS analyst Bill Cowher on rumors he is gunning for the Giants head coaching job

Yes Bill, you have too much respect for the profession, except when you phone in your last season in Pittsburgh because you are unhappy with your contract negotiations and are considering getting out of the game without telling your bosses who stuck with you through some very thin times.

"I take full responsibility for every unanswered question." – Former 49ers head coach Mike Singletary before being fired by the team

Well at least he took responsibility for the failures of the team before being shown the door. That’s more than I can say for Tom Coughlin

"You can't always expect to dig yourselves out of a hole.'' - Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers after losing to the lowly Bungles and effectively ending the Chargers’ season

That’s what she said.

"I'm mad as hell. To be sitting here with only five wins is really beyond anything I could have imagined.'' - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

Oh come now Jerry. We’ve all seen your new stadium. We know you have a pretty good imagination.

"Is there?'' - Vikings quarterback Brett Favre when asked about life after football

Gee I wonder why he hasn't retired yet.....

"It's an absolute joke. I was looking forward to this. It would have been a real experience. This is what football is all about. We've become a nation of wussies." – Pennsylvania governor and Eagles fan Ed Rendell on the Eagles/Vikings game postponed due to weather

The best part is he had to wait two days to see his team embarrassed at home by a crappy Vikings squad with a rookie quarterback and interim head coach.

"We just have a tendency to not play well enough." – Giants defensive tackle Barry Cofield after New York’s latest humiliation

Gee Barry, what tipped you off?

Idiot of the week

This week the coveted crown of idiot goes to Sports Illustrated senior NFL writer Peter King. King has maintained his stance that Giants head coach Tom Coughlin was in the right for berating rookie punter Matt Dodge midfield after the punter sent a ball right to the Eagles DeSean Jackson who returned it for the game winning touchdown.

Well this week he brought the subject up again, this time giving equal time to another punter to explain the difficulties of the job and then soliciting reader opinions of who they felt should be held to blame. Being opinionated, especially on this subject, and a burgeoning media whore, I took Peter up on his offer.

Peter,

I enjoyed punter Chris Kluwe’s counterpoint regarding the difficulties punters face in the NFL in regards to Matt Dodge’s misfired punt during the Giants/Eagles collision. However, I maintain my point that blaming the loss on Dodge is foolish and uniformed. That Giants loss should be blamed on Tom Coughlin and defensive coordinator Perry Fewell.

Coughlin did not have the charges under him properly prepared for a potential Eagles comeback. If he had, his defense would have managed at least one good defensive stop during the final 8 minutes of the contest. Furthermore, he would have had his kick receiving team prepared for an eventual onside kick, which the Eagles needed at some point if they hoped to continue closing the scoring gap in the diminishing time remaining. Yet when the Eagles came forth with their inevitable onside kick, the Giants looked unprepared and completely surprised. This is Coughlin’s fault.

Continuing on, the offense did not do their job acquiring enough first downs, wicking time off the clock or even scoring a measly field goal to push the game out of reach of Philadelphia. During the final Giant offensive series, if New York had just run one long, slow developing play, perhaps a reverse or even a prolonged draw play, the Eagles with no way to stop the clock, would have watched the last precious moments of game time expire without recourse.

And as for the defense and Fewell, the Giants defensive coordinator continued during the last eight minutes to send a ridiculous amount of players at the
Eagle offense and Michael Vick in hopes a big blitz would thwart the Philadelphia attack. Vick however repeatedly exploited a depleted secondary and continued to move the ball and score seemingly at will. When this tactic proved to fall short, did New York change their tactics? No, they continued down a path that continually failed, and led to their ultimate demise.

Yes, Dodge kicked a bad ball and gave an electric player, in this case DeSean Jackson, an opportunity to do something special. But his miscalculation was merely the last error in a long list of them that began and should have ended with Coughlin. For Coughlin to publically berate Dodge at midfield for all to see was merely for the coach to find a way to shift blame from himself to a rookie who made one error after his teammates and head coach made many before him.

And if you cannot see that and eagerly join with the masses in condoning Coughlin blaming Dodge for the loss, then shame on you for missing some very vital failures in one NFL game and perhaps should spend more time studying how games are played and less time rating coffee and microbrews.

The Crystal Ball

To zero surprise, when he ran his column with reader responses, yours truly did not show up nor did any truly dissenting opinion.

But by bringing this subject up again, it shows he’s trying to justify his stance. King saw response to his opinion was minimal and probably gave his standpoint some additional thought, I’m guessing. But instead of changing his mind, backing down or tempering it by also laying blame on other deserving parties, he merely looks for a way to strengthen his own eroding position.

Being a man of great ego, of which we are reminded constantly in his weekly columns, Sirius radio show, NBC Sunday night appearances and continuous harping of his status as an NFL Hall of Fame voter, backing down is not an option. If King did, he would potentially show weakness and cause people to question his position as an authority on all things NFL.

More so, if he actually did lay blame on coaches and veteran players who deserved it, King would risk affecting his relationships with these people and lose precious access to information and teams. He’s had too much of a taste now of being on the inside of the big time, and likes being a national celebrity with a Q rating instead of maintaining friendships while keeping an appropriate journalistic distance. Although he certainly is not the only one afraid to tell it like it is for fear of losing sports buddies, Jay Glazer I’m looking in your pumped up direction.

Now mind you, I know it’s possible for reporters and players to be friends and still have the reporter do his job as an objective observer. If you doubt me, then read Myron Cope’s memoir Double Yoi for a great example of this type of relationship. Players loved Myron and he loved them, but he never let that get in the way of tearing them a new cornhole if they performed poorly.

So for trying to shore up a bad opinion by canvassing the masses, maintaining said bad opinion in the first place, and showing that you have moved past journalism to become more concerned with face time, Q ratings and maintaining NFL insider connections, Peter King you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

One week left, and only 1 point away from finishing the season in a top four spot. How’d we do last week?

Last week: 9-5
Season to date: 150-89

Hmmm, not bad and I’m almost there, as long as I do not make any foolish mistakes. Last year I tried to pick the weird games and failed miserably. So this year, I’m letting everyone else make the mistakes and move up the ranks as they fall. No going out on a limb for this guy. Ok maybe just a little bit…

Sunday

Minnesota (6-9) at Detroit (5-10)

Get ready for another tearful “retirement” from Brett Favre following the game.

Vikings over Lions

Tampa Bay (9-6) at New Orleans (11-4)

Tampa Bay still has some faint playoff hopes, but they need a win and tons of help. The Saints have an outside chance at the Number 1 seed in the NFC, if Carolina should pull of a miracle upset. But considering that most likely won’t happen, and head coach Sean Payton’s 0-4 in week 17 as a head coach, this game becomes wicked hard to pick.

Saints over Buccaneers

Cincinnati (4-11) at Baltimore (11-4)

Go Bungles, beat those Ravens! Yeah like that will happen.

Ravens over Bungles

Oakland (7-8) at Kansas City (10-5)

No, KC does not need this win. But hey, it always feels good to beat Oakland.

Chiefs over Raiders

Buffalo (4-11) at New York Jets (10-5)

Let’s reignite that New York Super Bowl talk with a convincing win over a crappy team.

Jets over Bills

Carolina (2-13) at Atlanta (12-3)

Thanks for the memories John Fox.

Falcons over Panthers

Pittsburgh (11-4) at Cleveland (5-10)

Win and you get a week off, simple as that. Plus, I think it’s time for a little payback after last year’s embarrassment in Cleveland.

Steelers over Browns

Miami (7-8) at New England (13-2)

I know, New England has nothing to play for and may rest some starters. But never underestimate Bill Belichick’s drive to humiliate.

Patriots over Dolphins

New York Giants (9-6) at Washington (6-9)

Hmmm, I’ve been pretty good predicting New York lately, let’s try one more time. They win the game to erase the bad taste in their mouth of the collapse of the previous two weeks, but miss the playoffs, bringing much consternation from their fan base. Yup, that sounds about right.

Giants over Redskins

San Diego (8-7) at Denver (4-11)

Tim Tebow mania reaches new heights! And Norv Turner loathing reaches new lows. Wow, who would have thought Tebow and that unpredictable throwing motion would be successful in the NFL? Oh yeah, I did when I called him a winner and a leader. You’re welcome Bronco fans.

Broncos over Chargers

Jacksonville (8-7) at Houston (5-10)

No Andre Johnson and a hobbled Maurice Jones-Drew. So who will care?

Jaguars over Texans

Chicago (11-4) at Green Bay (9-6)

Win and the Pack are in. I’m in the mood for cheese in the playoffs.

Packers over Bears

Dallas (5-10) at Philadelphia (10-5)

Michael Vick will sit this one out, since the Eagles have already locked up their best possible playoff position. So the Eagles will trot out Kevin Kolb. Do you feel good about that? Me either

Cowboys over Eagles

Tennessee (6-9) at Indianapolis (9-6)

The demise of the Indianapolis Colts has been prematurely reported. The demise of the Tennessee Titans, on the other hand…

Colts over Titans

Arizona (5-10) at San Francisco (5-10)

No Singletary, no quarterback named Smith feeling uncomfortable, challenged or inspired.

Cardinals over 49ers

St. Louis (7-8) at Seattle (6-9)

You feel good about Charlie Whitehurst? Me either. Congratulations Mr. Bradford on your remarkable rookie season and 1st playoff appearance.

Rams over Seahawks