The Crystal Ball 2010 The Championships

Alright Goodell, your choices are now down to Big Douche or the scandal circus that is the Jets. Your call Roger….

Opening Kickoff

A virulent strain of the oft feared bird flu has swept through the NFL in recent weeks, taking a major toll last weekend by destroying Seahawks, Falcons and Ravens. The previous week scientists were unable to prevent it from decimating Eagles, and Cardinals have been missing since early January.

It is unsure where this may strike yet, but there are preliminary reports that show it may mutate to affect large fur covered land mammals and even affect the systems of manmade flying vessels. Stay tuned for more updates as events warrant.

The Way It Was

I should have stayed with my gut and picked Green Bay. But I figured Atlanta would have something more than that putrid performance. The team totally collapsed under playoff pressure. Wait great regular season then horrible post season debut with their quarterback getting happy feet. Oh my goodness, Atlanta is the NFC version of the Colts!

Ok Favre apologists; was Ted Thompson wrong now for dumping a “legend” for Rodgers? Do you think Aaron will throw an ill advised pick to end the next game?

The Packer defense sacked Matty Ice 5 times and forced 4 turnovers, that is a defense peaking in the playoffs.

I’m not the first to say it, but will reiterate it. If Matt Ryan cannot produce in the playoffs, he needs a nickname other than Matty Ice, since he obviously is not cool under pressure.

The Jets orchestrated a satisfying win against their division rival Patriots, which seemed to be the theme last weekend in the AFC.

I’ll give Alge Crumpler credit that was a heck of a run to catch Harris on the interception return. I didn’t think he could move that fast.

Belichick and Brady reveled in running up the score and piling it on long after they had the Jets beaten the last time these two teams met. They humiliated their opponent. I think the jets remembered that and remembered it well.

If Rex Ryan wasn't on Belichick’s radar before, he surely is now.

The best part of the game was watching Tom Terrific lose his cool, start swearing then balling out his receivers like it was their fault they couldn't turn into Gumby to catch Tom’s horrific passes. What a jerk.

What was with New England’s long clock killing drive in the 4th quarter with the Patriots down by 10 points? Where was the urgency? Who was coaching that drive Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb?

After the game this week news surfaced that Brady has been playing with a stress fracture in his foot and had it surgically repaired. Awwww, poor baby. Big flip, I mean have you seen the Frankenstein-esque boot Big Ben has been clumping around in most of the season? Always an excuse with Brady.

The Bears mauled the Seahawks, so I guess so much for that losing team magic.

I’ll be honest; I really do not have much to say about the game, as I slept through most of the contest, much like the Seahawks offense. But I am glad that Marcus Trufant and John Carlson, both taken off the field on stretchers, only suffered concussions and not something far more frightening.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 31 – Ravens 24

So much for that low scoring slugfest everyone predicted.

This game is a tale of one team playing a tremendous game, and one team playing a horrific, mistake filled crap fest. And each team took a turn playing each role. Mercifully for Steeler fans, and to the angst of Ravens fans, Pittsburgh took their turn playing tremendously in the second half.

To be quite blunt, Pittsburgh played the first half about as bad as you can. That Baltimore was up only 14 points was nothing short of a miracle. The team missed tackles, took dumb penalties including a delay of game penalty while in the hurry up offense, got a stupefying bad performance from all-everything safety Troy Polamalu, ok bad by his standards, and made one unbelievably boneheaded mistake that even Pop Warner players would never have made, see Idiot of the Week below for details.

But, like any true champion, they pulled their crap together at halftime and came out in the second half and played like the team everyone expected to see.

The defense started taking the ball away from Baltimore with the regularity of a Swiss watch, and the offense capitalized on each Raven mistake, scoring 17 points off of those turnovers despite losing tackle Jonathon Scott for a short time to injury and tackle Flozell Adams for the game due to illness.

Yet despite having their offense short circuit and only gain 126 yards of total offense for the game and having Flacco sacked 5 times, Baltimore never game up and managed to tie the contest with less than 4 minutes remaining. And then the Steeler offense shined again.

With rookie receivers Antonio Brown and Emanuel Sanders stepping up, the offense began moving toward making a go ahead score. But thanks to the tenacious Ravens, suddenly found themselves still on their side of the field facing 3rd and 19. At that moment, Roethlisberger unleashed a beauty of a pass that Brown caught and held to the side of his helmet, stepping out of bounds at the 4 yard line and setting up Pittsburgh in position to score the winning points.

Baltimore tried to come back with one last gasp, but thanks to a heartbreaking dropped pass by big time acquisition T.J. Houshmandzadeh, the team left dejected and defeated. T.J., who has complained often this season he wanted the ball more, came up small in the game’s biggest moment. And while he could be called the goat of the game, he must share it with Anquan Boldin, who dropped a sure touchdown that would have given the Ravens a late lead. So much for the much improved Raven receiving corps.

The Steelers are now 7-0 against the Ravens since 2007 with Big Ben in the lineup. And that kids is why you give your troubled but trying franchise quarterback another chance and trade your troubled but don’t’ care wide receiver.

Now Pittsburgh advances to its 15th conference championship appearance since 1970 an NFL record and third trip to the conference championship in the last six years. The team also improved to 9-0 all time in the playoffs against division opponents and 3-0 all time against the Ravens in the post season.

Where will the team go from here? Well for those of a superstitious nature or those who believe in signs and omens, I give you this from former Steeler player and current Steeler broadcaster Craig Wolfley, as he related it to SI.com’s Peter King in talking about Roethlisberger.

"Number seven. Seventh straight win over Baltimore, seventh season in the league, trying to get the Steelers to their seventh Super Bowl [title], won by seven tonight. Power of seven, brother.''

Dare Steeler Nation dream?

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

After getting everyone’s hopes up by filing retirement papers, even though he has done that a few times already, Brett Favre then went on to pick the Packers to win it all this year. He even went further calling Aaron Rodgers the best quarterback. Wow, I bet that hurt to say.

It would seem Fox Sports’ Jay Glazer figured out where the Jets learned how to perform that human wall during kick and punt coverage. Is anyone surprised the Patriots are involved?

It would seem the media is now enjoying interviewing Steeler defensive end Brett Keisel’s beard. They should, it had two solo tackles last week.

Well, first the Patriots rip into the Jets for being classless in victory after the game, which is funny since the Chargers accused the Patriots of just the same thing a few years ago, and the Jets respond in kind by telling the Patriots to take the loss like a man. Thanks New England, please continue to keep New York distracted.

Bronco running back Laurence Maroney was arrested this week on drugs and weapons charges, thus providing further proof that once a person leaves the Patriots and Belichick’s influence, they are never the same.

Ahhh, in the ever increasing battle for winning public opinion, the NFLPA has launched its own website to get fans to sign a petition to stop a lock out. Hey guys, where’s the petition to sign that says you idiots, meaning players, owners and the league, had best get this figured out fast because the casual fan who has no disposable income is finding it increasingly angering that millionaires and billionaires cannot figure out how to split up over $9 Billion a year? I want to sign that one.

The Ravens are showing interest in signing former receiver and current jailbird Plaxico Burress after his release from prison. If you couple him with Boldin and, that unit will be unstoppable! BWHA HA HA!

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl placed their bet with each other this week based on the outcome of the game. If Pittsburgh wins, Bloomberg will put a Terrible Towel on a New York landmark, and if New York wins, Ravenstahl will place an FDNY helmet on a Pittsburgh landmark. I loved this story about the bet, especially the holier than thou tone by the columnist. That’s why New York is so great, everything outside the city limits is considered trash and the equivalent of dog doo on your shoe. You stay classy their NYC.

Former Steeler head coach and current CBS analyst Bill Cowher picked the Jets to prevail over the Steelers. Yeah, he turned his back on his former home before, when he rang the hurricane horn for Carolina a few years ago when they faced the Penguins in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals. Cowher just picked the Jets because he knows if he were coaching the AFC Championship game, he’d find a new and creative way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

In case anyone was wondering, and I know I wasn’t, the Namath family is pulling for the Steelers over Joe’s Jets. Well duh, they live in the Pittsburgh area.

Upon Further Review

To start the Patriots/Jets game, Bill Belichick benched receiver Wes Welker for the first offensive series because of Welker’s comments at a press conference during the week that were assumed aimed at Rex Ryan and his wife.

Welker took a ton of flack for his comments, drawing the ire of Jets players and Foxsports.com’s Jason Whitlock, who blasted Welker as classless and that family, should never be brought into play when it comes to trash talking or bad mouthing opponents.

I couldn't agree with Whitlock more that family should never be brought into the sordid world of the NFL. So what did Welker say about Ryan and his family that got everyone so angry? Nothing at all. Not once in his comments did Welker specifically mention Ryan, his wife, his family or any of the rumors swirling around the head coach. Welker’s crime it would seem was to merely use the words, feet, foot and toes. Which would be innocuous at best, but everyone else made the assumption he was speaking about Ryan, which most likely he was, but without proof they are merely words.

And so far, we have no proof that the videos were even made by Ryan, as he has refused to acknowledge or deny his involvement, merely stating that he does not discuss his personal life, which is fair enough. So Welker’s comments should not apply to Ryan unless the rumors are true, and without Ryan’s admission, the comments stand as merely childish horseplay.

Except, Jets players joined in on the vilification of Welker, and claimed they motivated by the personal attack on their head coach. If they felt it was a personal attack, they must know they are the Ryan’s' videos! They just admitted and confirmed by their words and actions a story Rex was trying to let die. They basically told on their coach whom they claim to love so much! So who’s the real villain here, Welker for acting infantile, or Ryan’s players who all but outed him in the press for the videos and everyone else in the media for automatically assuming the videos were made by Ryan and his wife without any proof or even an admission from the coach himself?

Look, I could care less if it is Ryan and his wife and this is how they get their jollies. I am firmly in the camp of live and let live and if it gives you pleasure, and as long as no one gets hurt, then go for it. Everyone has their own list of things that get their rocks off, and if the Ryan’s' like shooting video of her feet and posting it on the internet, hey good for them.

But Ryan is no dummy, and he has to know that someone in a high profile public job such as his will have every aspect of their life scrutinized under a microscope, and people will find stuff like this out. He lives in the media capital of the world for goodness sake. And with all the talking, boasting, showboating and smack talk he does, he has to know that when people find out about such things, there will be a portion of them that not only will tease and make fun, but also use such information for personal attacks and vicious comments.

Yes, people should be respectful of others private lives, but when you make your private life public for all to see, then you should be ready to deal with people coming back and poking some fun. And the media, who usually take perverse pleasure in dredging up the dirty details of public figures’ lives, should not be so ready to stand on moral high ground about such matters only because it may jeopardize getting a good quote for their next story, especially when it’s obvious they already assume such details are true without evidence.

Duck Duck Coach

Well, there’s only one team left so what did they do this week?

Oakland – to the surprise of few, the Raiders promoted offensive coordinator Hue Jackson to head coach and put the oft controversial Tom Cable in their taillights. But simply announcing the hire would not have been the Raider way, and Al Davis came out of seclusion to use the event to soundly tear apart Cable and make his new head coach thoroughly uncomfortable during an occasion that should have been a great personal triumph. Davis looked horrible, as age is certainly catching up with the fiery owner and it showed why he rarely does press conferences anymore. I guess we should be glad he didn’t break out an overhead projector to detail how much he hates Cable. It will be fun in three years when the Raiders hire Jim Fassel as head coach and a further decrepit Davis uses the occasion to go into minute detail how much he cannot stand former head coach Hue Jackson.

Yes, there has also been much movement amongst coordinators throughout the league, but since most fans have no idea who the coordinators on their own team are, I find it futile to detail these movements. Maybe in a few months, when we’re all bored thanks to more stalled negotiations during a lockout we can revisit this feature. I shudder with the thought.

He Said He Said

“Sometimes when you’re fighting a bully you gotta just hit them in the mouth, and shut them up”. – Steelers receiver Hines Ward after the Baltimore/Pittsburgh showdown

Bam.

“We just didn't do enough things well today. It's obvious." – Patriots head coach Bill Belichick after the loss to the Jets

Spoken like a true genius.

“Roethlisberger had better do his homework this week -- not that it will do a lot of good with the changeup pitches Ryan's going to plot for him”. – SI.com’s Peter King previewing the AFC Championship lineup

Yes, I’m sure a two time Super Bowl winning quarterback with a 9-2 career playoff record will be completely unable to decipher a defense schemed by a man that Roethlisberger beat on a regular basis when said man was the defensive coordinator at Baltimore. Yup, Ryan’s Jet defense will be completely foreign to him so he might as well give up now.

“It depends on whether or not you give him my plays.” – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin, responding to ESPN reporter Bob Holtzman, who revealed a Steeler play in the press leading up to the Baltimore game, on how much time Tomlin needs to prepare for the Jets

BURN!

"Putting out Baltimore and having them think about us all offseason, it couldn't get any greater than that." – Steelers receiver Hines Ward

Man, Ward just had the best zingers this week.

"You guys swear we just enjoy hearing ourselves talk. If it wasn't for the media and the NFL making us talk, you wouldn't hear us say anything." - Jets linebacker Bart Scott

Yeah, the NFL Network and the New York press hold a gun to your head looking for juicy quotes and fun sound bites. Yup, it's all the media and the NFL Bart, and has nothing to do with the team’s constant need for attention.

"We're both good football teams and the bottom line is they're better at winning right now than we are." – Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco comparing the Steelers and Ravens

It sounds like Flacco has a little captain in him, Captain Obvious.

“Almost all quarterbacks play less well after they've been hit hard several times in the pocket -- the main exception is Ben Roethlisberger, whom the Jets face next, who doesn't even seem to be aware he's being hit, much less care.” – ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook

Thanks for the compliment Gregg, but I could stand him taking a few less hits.

"They've had six Super Bowl trophies. If they want to put them on the field, we will play them, too." – Jets head coach Rex Ryan on facing the Steelers.

Done and done. Just don’t let the glare from all that Tiffany silver blind you Rex.

Idiot of the week

I’ll be honest, there are more than a few boneheads that could stand to be called out this week, but the honor of Idiot must be bestowed on the entire Pittsburgh Steeler starting offense and the Baltimore Raven starting defense with exception of Cory Redding.

On a passing play, Terrell Suggs hit Ben Roethlisberger from behind, knocking the ball out of his hands where it traveled forward and thumped to the ground untouched. The officials rightly let the play continue and did not blow any whistles, as replays showed later it was clearly a fumble. Yet, with no call for stoppage of play, every player on the field stopped and stood around. No one made a single move for the ball, which was sitting unattended on the ground and by all on field signals, very much live and in play.

In every level of organized football, players are always taught to play to the whistle. Yet in this case, 21 highly paid professionals stood around doing nothing, despite the fact no whistle was ever blown. Only Redding, who gets a major exemption, was smart enough to realize hey this is a live, loose ball and I may be able to do something here. Redding then moved past Ramon Foster, a Steeler who stood right next to the ball, picked it up and ran uncontested into the end zone for a Raven touchdown as everyone else stared at him slack jawed. Even Suggs, who caused the fumble, was too busy showboating and preening toward a hostile Pittsburgh crowd to realize the ball was still in play. Watching replays of the game, you can see Redding make his move for the ball in the background of a shot of Suggs as he flexes his muscles and showboats to the crowd.

Even if the players had thought the whistle had blown, why didn’t anyone just fall on the ball, in case it was ruled a fumble? Nope, no one even did that most basic of football moves, which we see players do each week and even later in the game as Ray Lewis made a big show of jumping on an incomplete pass hoping to cover up his earlier gaffe. No they just wandered around clueless as if waiting in line at the DMV.

Trust me, this hurts me to do it, but it must be done. So for looking foolish by blowing two very basic football rules, despite the fact that all players on the field are significantly trained, very intelligent and highly paid professionals, Steelers offense and Ravens defense minus Redding, you are all idiots.

The runner up this week is Patriot head coach Bill Belichick for benching Wes Welker to prove an asinine point, then getting thoroughly outcoached at home by the bombastic Rex Ryan. So much for that Belichick mystique.

On Tap This Week

Oh my, last week was not my week by any stretch of the imagination.

Last week: 1-3
Season to date: 162-102

I really thought the Falcons would put up some semblance of a fight. But hey, Tom Brady is gone and I can laugh with self satisfied smugness. But this week? Oh two weeks of coverage and a shot at the ultimate prize await the victors. So who will it be?

Sunday

Green Bay (12-6) at Chicago (12-5)

This will be the 182nd meeting between these two division rivals and original NFL franchises, but only the second time they’ve met in the playoffs. Both teams showed well last weekend, but I just still cannot trust Jay Cutler. I know he’ll do something to blow this, I just know it. Plus, since Favre already gave his ringing endorsement of Rodgers and the Pack, I guess this one is in the bag.

Packers over Bears

New York Jets (13-5) at Pittsburgh (13-4)

Last Sunday night the media talking heads already began their coronation of Mark Sanchez, stating how they a change in the young signal caller, a new level of maturity, how he's turned a corner and become a leader. Yeah, it sounded almost identical as the same praise they heaped on Joe Flacco all week leading up to the Baltimore/Pittsburgh game, and we saw how that worked out.

Now I could list a multitude of reasons why I feel Pittsburgh will prevail, including pointing out that Troy Polamalu and Heath Miller will play in this game when they were not available in the two teams’ previous matchup, how the Super Bowl prediction rules of scandal come into play, or even just going through pages of statistics. But none of these will matter.

All you need to know to convince you of a Pittsburgh win is that after the Jets beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh in December, two idiot Jet fans decided to celebrate the occasion by stomping on the Terrible Towel, film it and post it on the internet.

You would think people would learn by now. T.J. Houshmandzadeh desecrated the Terrible Towel once after a Steelers/Bengals game; you saw how well his career is going last week. By the way, nice catch last week T.J. The Tennessee Titans stomped on the Towel a few years ago, that franchise has never been right since. You need more convincing? Today would have been the birthday of Terrible Towel creator and Pittsburgh icon Myron Cope, who created this talisman of terror specifically for playoff games. Those Jet fans have no idea what they just unleashed.

Steelers over Jets

The Crystal Ball 2010 The Divisionals

With all the talking Baltimore and New York have been doing at their respective opponents, you would think they're filming another new HBO special, 24/7 Jets Ravens: The Road to AFC Divisional Oblivion.

Opening Kickoff

Goddag and welcome to this week’s addition to The Crystal Ball, where we will focus on the AFC as they prepare for their divisional round games. Wait, what was that? The NFC is also playing their divisional games this week? Huh, I had no idea. I had not even heard a peep from either team and just assumed they must have the week off.

The Way It Was

The Seahawks shocked the NFL world and defeated the defending Super Bowl Champion Saints. You know when teams play the disrespect card and tout that nobody believed in us? Well Seattle actually means it.

When the Saints punted with 4:28 left, I looked to the Lady K and said game over the Saints blew it. Two plays later, Marshawn Lynch broke off one of the most electrifying playoff runs of all time, breaking out of tackles, making Saint players give up and literally shaking the Earth. Quite the statement win from a team that according to most had no reason being there.

Ok Andy Reid, a new opportunity in the playoffs but this time with a different quarterback yet it’s still same result. I wonder if someone else, perhaps someone with a penchant for bad clock management, could be at fault.

And in his first playoff start in years, Michael Vick tasted defeat. You got the first half of your wish Roger Goodell.

Two things surprised me from the Baltimore/Kansas City collision. The first was that Baltimore didn’t start pounding the Chiefs into the ground until the second half. And the second was that Todd Haley didn’t lecture John Harbaugh after the game about running up the score.

The Colts blew a chance to win and move on in the playoffs, despite having 935 players on injured reserve and Peyton Manning finally looking human.

Jim Caldwell easily blew the game, calling a time out with 30 seconds left which allowed the Jets to conserve their final time out and take time to plan their next play, on which they completed an 18 yard pass and moved into easy field goal range and then won the game on a Nick Folk kick. Peyton Manning was furious on the sideline, openly wondering why his coach gave the Jets such a gift. I’m surprised at this point that Peyton hasn’t had Caldwell fired yet.

Meanwhile, Reggie Wayne was ticked off after only being targeted once by Manning all game. Maybe Manning should let Reggie be in his next commercial to help soothe those hurt feelings.

The Steel Pit

The team relaxed, practiced, got healthy and started working up a nice bile for the upcoming Ravens throw down.

This should be a slobber knocker of a game and personally I cannot wait. If recent history holds, I see Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game.

Since 2007, the Ravens have never beaten the Steelers when Ben Roethlisberger is under center. All time Baltimore has never beaten Pittsburgh in the playoffs. Yes, I know there is always a first time for everything, and some people seem to think that time is now.

On ESPN’s ridiculous argument show Around the Horn, the desperate for airtime talking heads made fools of themselves by saying that Ray Rice would run all over the Steeler defense, a unit that stifled every running back that faced them this season and had the third best yards against average in NFL history. Yeah, Ray Rice who’s battling illness will suddenly do what no one, including himself in two opportunities, could do all season.

Then ESPN’s Sunday Countdown crew made their picks for the game, with the majority of them picking Baltimore to win in Pittsburgh twice in one season. Even Mike Ditka, who’s from the Burgh, picked the Ravens. I’m sure that will put a serious dent in sales at the restaurant in Pittsburgh that bears his name.

I don’t know if the players pay any attention to this nonsense or use it for motivation, but I can tell you I’ve been working up myself up into a nice lather as I sit in anticipation for kick off. And no, the lather did not come from Old Spice body wash.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

A 13 year old kid in Tacoma Washington was sent home from school for wearing a Steelers jersey on a day the school encouraged people to wear Seahawks apparel and colors to support the team. Jeez Seattle, get over it, you lost the Super Bowl and it was five years ago now.

Speaking of Seattle, the fans at Qwest Field jumped, rollicked and celebrated so hard during Marshawn Lynch’s electrifying touchdown run; the ground literally shook and registered seismic activity. Ok, that is very impressive but I’m still not buying t hat 12th man nonsense.

Andrew Perloff, no no no! Please I beg you and all other bored NFL writers, please let’s pause on mock drafts until after the Super Bowl! Preferably let’s hold off on them until we know there will be a season next fall.

At a recent event hosting owners of Washington area sports teams, Redskins owner Dan Snyder stated that he has changed and that the Redskins are, “the fans’ team.” Yes, I choked on my cereal once I realized I was reading ESPN and not The Onion and this actually happened.

The NFLPA stated they find the NFL and owners 18 game proposal unacceptable. I do too; especially since I cannot stand the argument for this is that fans want more regular season games and less preseason games. No we don’t, we just do not want to pay full price for exhibition games.

Are you concerned that an expanded schedule could lead to more injuries? Fear not trepid fan, the NFL has launched a health and safety site to show how they are working to increase player safety. Don’t you just love obvious public relation moves.

The Crystal Ball was sent this gem this week from a great friend and special contributor. As it turns out, the Philadelphia Eagles have never won an undisputed NFL championship. That’s just the balm Philadelphia fans need after watching another horrid Andy Reid performance.

Blah Blah Blah

The talk this week has been, well, all about talk. With the AFC games both pitting division rivals against each other, teams and players have been yapping back and forth like feuding teenagers with unlimited texting. And some of it has been actually entertaining.

The talk started immediately as soon as the matchups were set, with Baltimore and Pittsburgh both salivating at going at each other again and stating this is the game people will want to see and this is how the game should be played. I wholeheartedly agree. Then the talk really started.

The Ravens’ Terrell Suggs, who I imagine is working hard to be Baltimore’s version of Joey Porter, called the Steelers/Ravens rematch Armageddon and stated quite bluntly that the winner of this game would win the Super Bowl. Since I’m feeling pretty good about Pittsburgh’s chances, I’m hoping that Suggs may be a bit psychic. But I’ll bet the Patriots would like to differ first.

Not to be outdone, Dawan Landry stated that this would be World War III, and nary and argument was heard from either locker room.

Ravens head coach John Harbaugh got into the act, stating he was glad his team broke Big Ben’s schnozz, which I’m sure, elicited much bile from Steeler Nation, but barely a peep from Ben or his schnozz.

Not to be outdone, Suggs showed up for practice this week wearing a t-shirt that depicted a raven flipping the bird with the caption, Hey Pittsburgh. He claimed he did not wear that on purpose, it was just a shirt he had lying around and didn’t even notice. So he’s telling me he wears inflammatory t-shirts directed at Pittsburgh all the time? He really is into the rivalry.

But not to be outdone, the Jets, who are known to occasionally put forth a juicy sound bite, jumped in with both feet.

Rex Ryan kicked it off by calling this game personal, much like last week, and that this was about Bill Belichick versus Rex Ryan. I bet Mr. Hoodie likes that matchup.

Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie then let loose with a profanity laced tirade directed at Tom Brady.

Tom, to his credit, responded rather magnanimously and hilariously, stating he’s been called worse and that he’s sure there are many who feel the same way. Agree with you there Tom.

Meanwhile, while most Patriots were following the company line of shutting up and letting the Jets talk themselves hoarse, Patriots receiver unleashed a devastating salvo from Wes Welker, who managed to find a new way to humiliate Rex Ryan and his alleged foot fetish.

Jets center Nick Mangold responded to Welker in kind with a not as subtle but still funny jab at the Patriots and Spy gate.

While over in the NFC, the airwaves have been torn up by, no one. No one! There were no great comments, smack talk, opponent baiting or insults. Nothing. NFC fans has best be glad the Super Bowl isn’t won with smack talk; otherwise the game would be a laughable blowout. Come on NFC, start running your mouths and entertain us.

Duck Duck Coach

Let’s check in and find out who got a J-O-B in the NFL

Carolina – the Panthers hired San Diego defensive coordinator Ron Rivera. Considering the Chargers finished the season ranked in the top five offensively and defensively, Carolina should be statistically excellent next season.

Cleveland – Shockingly to me, Mike Holmgren did not hire himself. Instead he hired St. Louis offensive coordinator Pat Shurmur to be the next head coach of the Browns. Although this isn’t out of the blue, since Shurmur’s uncle Fritz was Holmgren’s defensive coordinator in Green Bay. It always pays to know someone.

Denver – John Elway went with an experienced hand and hired former Panthers head coach John Fox to helm the Broncos this season. I guess they decided that Carolina’s horrific season was all due to a cheap ownership group and not poor coaching or personnel decisions.

San Francisco – With much fanfare, the 49ers hired Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh to finally bring some luster back to the team. And guess what, next season the 49ers play the Ravens and John Harbaugh. Brother against brother, who will survive? Sorry, just steeling you now for the cheesy story lines to come.

Oakland – Nothing. They did nothing except stew in their own crapulence. At the very least, Al Davis driving this team off a cliff again will give me many hours of entertainment and notebooks full of jokes. Thanks Al!

He Said He Said

“[We're] really moving forward and we're going out there being good little foot soldiers.” – Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker making a subtle reference to Jets head coach Rex Ryan’s alleged foot fetish by referring to feet 11 times in a 9 minute press conference

BURN! Actually, I loved his whole interview. The best, most subtle, creative and devastatingly effective trash talk I have heard in a long time. Kudos to Welker

“Jim Caldwell needs to go to clock management school.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Peter, just make sure it’s an accredited institution. He’s obviously been to the Andy Reid School of Clock Management and that is not working out well.

"There's no TV stars here. We have one guy in here with a commercial (Polamalu), and that's just because he has nice hair. This organization is about winning championships." – Steelers safety Ryan Clark on the team first attitude present in the Pittsburgh locker room

Yeah, Troy DOES have nice hair.

“There were good things and there were bad things, and the bad things clearly outweighed the good things." – Chiefs head coach Todd Haley after Kansas City’s loss to the Ravens

Well at least Todd still has a firm grasp of the obvious.

"This is the NFL at its best. This is what the world wants to see. This is Armageddon for all four teams, and there can only be one winner at the end." – Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs

I’m excited too but I certainly hope these games to do not bring about the end of the world.

“Thank you, Jim Caldwell!” – Jets tackle Damien Woody after the Jets victory over the Colts

With how Caldwell thinks I’m sure Woody will soon receive your welcome gift.

"I think it's going to be world war III. The last one left a bad taste in our mouths." - Dawan Landry on the Steelers/Ravens

Sorry, but I don’t think you’ll like the taste of this one any better Dawan.

“Adam Vinatieri. I look forward to debating his candidacy for Canton one day." – SI.com’s Peter King

What debate? There should be zero debate this man is a Hall of Famer. Let put it to you this way Peter: How many Super Bowls has Brady won without Vinatieri?

"This is about Bill Belichick vs. Rex Ryan. No question. It's personal. It's about him against myself, and that's what it's going to come down to." – Jets head coach Rex Ryan on this weekend’s game against New England

Does Rex honestly believe he even registers as a blip on Belichick’s radar?

"The Jets and the Patriots are just getting started. This has been going on for years." – Steelers receiver Hines Ward on comparing the Jets/Patriots rivalry to the Steelers/Ravens

Well put.

Idiot of the week

Deciding this week’s winner was the easiest slam dunk all season.

To the surprise of I’m sure no one; this week’s winner of the Idiot of the Week award goes to Indianapolis head coach Jim Caldwell.

Caldwell, who has shown a penchant for clock management usually reserved for Andy Reid, pulled the biggest boner yet in his soon to be short head coaching career when he called a time out with 30 seconds left, giving the Jets time to regroup, call a well planned play and win the game on a short field goal as time expired.

Caldwell’s own team was stunned, openly wondering why their head coach would make such a boneheaded call. Caldwell tried to explain his decision process after the game.

"I was going to make sure they couldn't take the clock down. Make them snap the ball. They were in field goal range. So we wanted to make them snap the ball as many times as they could."

If you can find reason in that statement, then you must work with derivatives. The part that confuses me the most is why would you want to give your opponent who is trying to win the game as many snaps as possible? That means you’re giving them multiple opportunities to make a play and win the game.

If Caldwell had just done nothing but continue to stand on the sidelines and look comatose, the Jets would have either run a fast play that may not have worked and wasted time trying to get a bit closer for a field goal attempt or wasted their last time out and hurt their chances getting off a good kick. At best for New York, they would have had to attempt a long field goal, which was not guaranteed since Folk had been shaky all game and even the game winner he did kick would have been wide if the ball was 10 yards further back.

So for making Andy Reid’s end game management look intelligent by comparison, giving your opponent a chance to plan how they will win the game, cheesing off your super star quarterback, confounding your entire team and killing your post season, Jim Caldwell you are an idiot.

Runners up awards this week go to Terrell Suggs and Antonio Cromartie for their endless trash talking all week long. Has no one told these dolts that when you smack talk before the game it only fires up your opponent more?

On Tap This Week

What an exciting wild card weekend we had. Well I found it exciting, except for the Baltimore game. Snoozer! So how’d we do?

Last week: 2-2
Season to date: 161 – 99

Yeah, those darn Seahawks really scuffed things up. But no matter a new week dawns before us.

The one thing I did notice is that no game went into overtime and thus we were not subjected to the NFL’s convoluted new playoff overtime format. But something tells me it’s going to come into play before this post season is done. And this new format will negatively affect one team. Just watch, one team is going to get screwed somehow by the more confusing parts of the new overtime rules and there is going to be one irate fan base. Boy, I sure hope its New England that gets the shaft.

Saturday

Baltimore (13-4) at Pittsburgh (12-4)

And here we are again, Pittsburgh and Baltimore meeting for the third time in a season. Baltimore beat the Steelers in their previous trip to Pittsburgh in Week 4, but that was against a Steeler team minus Roethlisberger. To really show they are the better team, Baltimore would now need to beat Big Ben in hostile Heinz Field. If they could beat their most heated rival and move on to the AFC Championship game that would be a great story for them. But it won’t happen that way.

Steelers over Ravens

Green Bay (11-6) at Atlanta (13-3)

Oh call me a big fan of the Pack attack! What an excellent job they did in taking down the Eagles and Aaron Rodgers finally getting his first playoff victory. Plus, they have a running game, who would have thought? I am big time rooting for the Packers in this game, and love tons of talking heads are picking them to win. But I don’t think t hey will. Atlanta is a solid team built for playoff action and playing at home, where they rarely lose. Plus, they may be a bit ticked off since everyone seems to be writing them off before the game has even started. Yeah, Green Bay could win this game, but I think Atlanta will.

Falcons over Packers

Sunday

Seattle (8-9) at Chicago (11-5)

Now here’s an interesting game, believe it or not. Seattle’s only road win outside the NFC West was against Chicago. Can they do it again? You bet. And I think they will. Why you ask? Am I just jumping on a hot bandwagon? Do I secretly want the Seahawks to keep winning so those who scream Seattle shouldn’t be in the post season will have to shut up? Yes and an emphatic yes plus one more thing swayed me. Who would you trust more at quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck who has actual post season experience and played the game of his life last week or Jay Cutler who has a losing career record in the NFL and college and has never once played a high pressure playoff game in college or the NFL? I thought so.

Seahawks over Bears

New York Jets (12-5) at New England (14-2)

Rex Ryan and company have really stepped it up trying to turn Jets/Patriots into a hot blooded rivalry. But for that to work, both teams have to be fully engaged. And I think Belichick looks at Ryan and the Jets as nothing more than a minor irritant rather than a legitimate rival. On Sunday Belichick will swat way this particular irritant.

Patriots over Jets

The Crystal Ball 2010 Wildcards Part 2

Welcome to Wildcard weekend at The Crystal Ball, where we have been diagnosed with a case of NFC West fever. I hope it passes soon.

Opening Kickoff

For years people have bemoaned the possibility of a team with a losing record hosting a playoff game. Merely the abstract possibility was enough to cause massive hand wringing and teeth gnashing. And this year, it finally happened thanks to NFC West division champion Seattle and their 7-9 record. The horror! The absolute horror! What will happen to us all now?

Nothing, that’s what. Did the Earth stop spinning? Did fire rain from the heavens? Did locusts fall from the sky? No? Then get over it people.

The Way It Was

Whoops, looks like I jumped on that Tebow bandwagon before all the wheels were properly bolted on.

Ooooh, bad time to collapse under pressure Kansas City. Color me unimpressed by their playoff chances.

Nice try Baltimore. Good luck on the road.

What a wonderful end of the season for Detroit, winning four out of five games. Now if Stafford could just stay healthy.

Ok so perhaps Sean Payton’s week 17 record is justified. I knew I should have gone with Tampa Bay. Rats, skunked again.

See, like I said never underestimate Belichick’s drive to humiliate.

Awwww, look the Chargers and Broncos both managed to screw me one more time. Good times.

Wow, I was right again, the Giants won but are sitting home in the post season. Such a shame they are sitting at home, they made predictions so easy as of late.

Don’t get too down Rams fans. The team has talent, but this season was just too young, too error prone and too inexperienced. At least Sam Bradford will have plenty of time to play with his new ping pong table now.

Huh. Charlie Whitehurst. Go figure.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 41 – Browns 9

What a nice thorough butt whipping of the Browns to win the division and secure the number 2 seed in the AFC. It was beautifully played game that was over after Pittsburgh’s first offensive play, set up by Troy Polamalu’s splendid interception. I found myself in the school of thought that Troy should sit out and rest up for the playoffs, and it turns out I was pleasantly wrong.

With the team taking it easy until their first playoff game next week, there was not much happening news wise, so thoughts and tongues wagged at the rumors that Big Douche had become engaged over the Christmas holiday. Yes, I know, how is this news in any way? It’s not. But hey, if he has changed his life and found someone special, I say good for him. Perhaps I should change his nickname now to Big Fiancé. Yeah, it was a slow week news wise for the team.

One factoid I did read that I found interesting is that after their first 4 seasons, Mike Tomlin and Bill Cowher both have identical records, finishing an excellent 43-21. Except I would like to point out one small difference; Tomlin captured one Lombardi trophy during his first four seasons. And has a good shot at capturing a second as well. Yes, I am a bit jazzed for the playoffs, does it show much?

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Der commissioner Roger Goodell took his case for a new CBA to the fans in an open letter. Nothing like trying to sway public opinion in a ham fisted effort.

Former Jets massage therapists are suing Brett Favre for sexual harassment. Yeah, because I’m sure Brett is the only testosterone laden professional athlete to act inappropriately around team employed massage therapists. And really, teams employ massage therapists? What a great job perk. I need to get a job with an NFL team because I have a knot in my shoulder the size of a softball.

Meanwhile Jenn Sterger told the NFL that she did not bring up her saga with Favre earlier because she felt nothing would be done about it. Hmmm, lets see the league fined Favre $50,000 and that’s it. I guess Sterger was right.

The Titans, showing they have the poker face of a hyperactive pre-teen, announced that the winner of the Fisher/Young feud is Fisher and will release or trade Vince Young. Yeah, now that you announced it to the entire league, good luck getting anything better than 10 cents on the dollar for him and his contract.

And for the heartwarming story of 2011 so far, homeless man Ted Williams, he of the phenomenal voice, has been basking in the limelight, while having homes and jobs thrown at him, most notably from local basketball team the Cleveland Cavaliers. With the Cavaliers job offer Williams has now officially become the most popular sports related person in Cleveland. See what you did to that city now LeBron?

Duck Duck Coach

Ahhh Yes, once again our yearly feature returns to track who gets fired, who gets hired and who stands pat in the world of NFL head coaches. By now, much has shaken out but a little review and looking ahead cannot hurt anyone, no? So lets find out who is getting mega bucks and who is getting mega fired.

Dallas – Predictably, Jerry Jones found a way to skirt the Rooney Rule and hired Jason Garrett as his new head coach. Let the Mini Jones jokes ensue.

San Francisco – The team hired a general manager and is the front runners in trying to land Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh. Perhaps trying to generate that Stanford/49er magic that once occurred with Bill Walsh? It couldn’t hurt.

Denver – The team hired hero John Elway to the front office to help restore some luster to the organization while also trying to woo Jim Harbaugh. I hope it helps.

Minnesota – Also predictably, the Vikings game the job to Leslie Frazier. Hey, perhaps he’ll have an easier time without having to deal with some 41 year old prima donna egomaniac at quarterback.

Carolina – To complete their train wreck season, head coach John Fox was let go. Stay tuned for the inexpensive nobody who will be hired.

Cleveland – In a surprise to no one, the Browns fired Eric Mangini after just two years on the job. The team will now search for his replacement, and I cannot imagine where team president and former head coach who wants to return to the sidelines Mike Holmgren will look.

Oakland – After two seasons of steady improvement and finally a non losing record this season, the Raiders fired head coach Tom Cable. This is the dumbest organization ever. One, who even wants this job now knowing how dysfunctional the ownership and front office is? Seriously would you trust this organization with your employment future? And two, even if the team finds a coach who will take the job, something tells me they will not have a passion for it that Cable did. Hey, I didn’t like the guy, but he seemed to genuinely care about making the Raiders great again. This would never happen if Al Davis were still alive.

Kansas City – Offensive coordinator Charlie Weis is leaving for the same position at the University of Florida. The rumor mill is filled with grist that Weis is leaving because he does not get along with head coach Todd Haley. Ok, now we’ve seen Haley get into it with Anquan Boldin on the sidelines during the playoffs, lecture Josh McDaniels after a game, scream at his players and drive off the offensive coordinator who turned around the Chiefs offense and Matt Cassel’s career. Is it time yet to finally say he’s a twit? What, wait until mid season next year when the articles start cropping up what’s wrong with Kansas City when they are 3-5? Fair enough.

New York Giants – With much rumor floating around, the team announced Coughlin would be staying and are giving him a contract extension. Move along, nothing to see here.

Miami – After a brief flirtation with flavor of the moment Jim Harbaugh, the team decided to stick with Tony Sparano. I’m sure he feels secure in his job right about now. Perhaps he should take the Raider job.

Houston – The team announced he will continue to be the head coach, at least for the 2011 season. Results, specifically a playoff berth, must be achieved for his employment to continue to 2012.

Jacksonville– Jack Del Rio will also remain the head coach despite collapsing at the end of the season and missing the playoffs, although he must hire a defensive coordinator and correct mistakes that doomed this season or he will not be in this position next season.

Bungles – After months of alluding to leaving if things did not change with the team’s front office, specifically improved scouting and better practice facilities, the team and Marvin Lewis announced Lewis would remain the head coach while nothing of significance regarding his demands will change. What a glutton for punishment.

Saddle Up!

Strap on your spurs kiddies, It’s time once again to pick your playoff horse. Sad your team did not make the playoffs? Lost about whom to root for over the next few weeks? Wondering who you can get behind in the big games when your team is sitting at home eating Doritos? Then you’ve come to the right place as we will help you pick your playoff horse.

I know, you’re asking yourself what the deuce is a playoff horse? A playoff horse is merely your temporary team for whom to root during the playoffs if your boys are sitting home in January. Unsure how to pick a playoff horse? Then rest easy, since your friends here at The Crystal Ball have you covered. Here is all you need to know as you go forth into the NFL post season.

1. Avoid teams from your division – This has too many incestuous ramifications, and could create bad karma for your team the next year. Plus, if they won it all, would you really be able to live with yourself? Avoid division teams at all cost.

2. Avoid traditional rivalry teams – This is paramount, and can create as much bad karma as a division rival, perhaps more. If you are a Raiders fan, you do not root for Denver ever. You would never see a Cowboys fans rooting for Philadelphia either. That would just feel sleazy.

3. Avoid teams that beat up on your team – Sure, your team had a bad year, but why rub their noses in it by rooting for a team who tortured them.

4. Never buy any merchandise of your playoff horse – This is a very short term commitment, no need to invest any money in it. Plus, you could be labeled as a band wagon fan or even bring bad football karma to your team. You never want to split your true loyalties. And, if any of your family or friends who know nothing about football sees this merchandise, it could lead them to believe this is your favorite team and the next thing you know you find Seattle Seahawks Salt and Pepper shakers under your tree next Christmas. Always a bad thing.

5. Look for teams that did not play yours - This makes it easier to cheer for your playoff horse, since you cannot create bad karma or look like a band wagon fan. Plus, you will not be reminded of when they played your team this season, which could be a bad memory.

6. Try to find a positive connection to your favorite team – Does your playoff horse play in the same state as your team? That works. Are their former players from your team on their roster? Probably, so why not root for those guys, you liked them at one point in their careers. Do you have a friend who is a big fan of a team? Go with his or her team.

7. Look for the sleeper – This is a great one, since if you pick the right team, and they go all the way, you look like a genius. And if they lose, well, you have lost nothing. There is always one team lurking and ready to pounce; the only question is if they could go all the way. Maybe they just need some extra cheer.

8. Pick one team from each conference – Always have two, it increases your odds for making it through the playoffs. Plus, if they both happen to make it to the big game, then you look like an uber genius. On the off chance this should happen, switch all support to the team representing your conference. It’s always good for your real team to be in the more powerful, and Super Bowl laden conference. Trust me, the 80’s and 90’s were rough on us AFC folks.

9. You must pick your horses before the playoffs begin – Yes, I know, this only gives you a week to mourn your season’s end and then find someone to root for, even if it’s only half heartedly. But you cannot cheat by peeking at Wild Card weekend and seeing who might really have a shot.

10. If your horses lose before the Super Bowl, you are done – Just like if your own team were eliminated from the playoffs, so too go your temporary allegiances. After that, you can only pick winners for each game. Well, if you have a few bucks on the game, then cheer away. But if not, then just watch as an objective party. Now, if you want to root still, my advice is to root against the teams you cannot stand. If you are any true fan, I’m sure there will be more than a few of those around, even when there are only two remaining combatants.

Remember, this is only for the short term and just for a little fun. You are just rooting for a team so you can create a little vested interest in the playoffs. After the team is done, or the playoffs end, so does your support for your playoff horse. Any cheering for them after that means you are either gleaming off of their success and that would compromise your own team, or you are a band wagon fan, and that would really hurt your team and your credibility. You never want to do anything that would compromise your true allegiances. With that in mind, go out there and find your playoff horse, have a blast and good luck!

He Said He Said

"I know it's time.''- Vikings quarterback Brett Favre during post game interviews after Minnesota’s final game on his potential retirement

Yeah I’m not so sure he does know.

"We won't see him don another uniform, ever. Anywhere. No doubt in my mind whatsoever.'' – Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier on Brett Favre’s supposed retirement

Until he dons a Raiders uniform….

"I'm a football coach. I'm Jim Nobody from Nowhere. I keep my spoon in my soup. I don't eat anybody else's soup. I just do my job.'' - 49ers interim head coach Jim Tomsula after getting a shot at being a head coach after a long and difficult road coaching

I love his story, but I don’t understand the soup reference.

"In this society, everybody wants to fire the coach all the time. We don't do that here.'' - Giants owner John Mara, announcing that coach Tom Coughlin would return in 2011

Continuity breeds success.

"There is no apologies for making it into the playoffs. The easiest way to make it to the playoffs is to win your division, period, point-blank. We did that." – Seahawks safety Lawyer Milloy

He’s right, but that hasn’t stopped the hand wringing and complaining about the Seahawks being in the playoffs.

"I don't know when I'm going to beat him, but i want it to be Saturday night. is it personal? Yes it's personal." – Jets head coach Rex Ryan on beating Peyton Manning

Just how personal Rex and does it involve a foot massage?

"I'm excited where we are.'' – Bungles head coach Marvin Lewis while announcing he will remain with the team

I cannot imagine how he could be excited in any way, unless the team now will be instituting Taco Tuesdays.

Idiot of the Week

This week, the NFL provided more than a few worthy candidates. But I feel rather gregarious so I will bestow the award on no one. Yes I will let all idiots and potential idiots off the hook in honor of the conclusion of the regular season.

However, I reserve the right to revisit this stance if the next regular season becomes threatened in any way due to a labor stoppage or lock out and will happily give this to Roger Goodell, the NFL, team owners, DeMaurice Smith and the NFLPA. Come on guys, there’s plenty of money find a way to cut the pie.

On Tap This Week

Ok, it’s time for the fun final tally. How did we do?

Last week: 10-6
Season Finale: 159 – 97

Not a bad finish, but not quite good enough for a top spot. But hey, if you reached the top every year, where would the burning desire be to strive harder next season come from? No matter, the playoffs are here and it’s time to shine.

Yesterday

We’ll go over those games next week. See part 1 for the picks

Sunday

Baltimore (12-4) at Kansas City (10-6)

Let’s see, Charlie Weis is leaving to be a college offensive coordinator, Todd Haley is showing he’s an idiot and Matt Cassel seems to be falling apart as the kid caught in the middle of a divorce. Yup, that’s just enough distraction.

Ravens over Chiefs

Green Bay (10-6) at Philadelphia (11-5)

The Pack finished super strong with a great defensive effort against their division foes the Bears. Meanwhile Philadelphia faded and Vick’s leg has a big hurtie on it and the ultra unfunny Jamie Kennedy is pulling big time for Philadelphia Enough said.

Packers over Eagles

The Crystal Ball 2010 Wildcards Part 1

Hello NFL fans. The Crystal Ball apologizes for not being more prompt in posting for the first weekend of NFL playoff action. But due to some automotive acrobatics, we had to deal with a bit of real world business before delving into the fantasy world of grown men running into each other while wearing plastic armor. There will be an offering tomorrow with our usual nonsensical research and commentary. In the mean time, enjoy our picks for today.

New Orleans (11-5) at Seattle (7-9)

Oh come on. Like anyone is picking Seattle against the defending world champs.

Saints over Seahawks

New York Jets (11-5) at Indianapolis (10-6)

Rex Ryan, as a defensive coordinator or head coach, has only managed to beat Peyton Manning once in his career. Yes, I know Indianapolis has been hampered by injury and bad luck, but I still will trust Manning over Mark Sanchez, who eventually will have that young quarterback label removed and he will be Carson Palmer without the stats.

Colts over Jets

The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 17

When you do a truncated week, you sometimes miss some good stuff. Like this week, when rumors and questions abounded that a woman doing foot fetish videos was actually Jets head coach Rex Ryan’s wife Michelle, and that the camera man in one of them sounds like Rex. The buzz about this got so big that the Jets felt need to respond. This generated endless snickers in locker rooms around the league, created boundless material for comedians nationwide and gave the Jets yet one more distraction with which to contend. And we learned that Rex, now well known for big talk that sometimes neither he nor his team can back up, is not unfamiliar with sticking a foot in his mouth.

Opening Kickoff

The NFL finally saw fit to punish Brett Favre for the Jenn Sterger incident, fining the injured quarterback $50,000 for failing to cooperate with the investigation yet finding no clear evidence that Favre violated the league’s personal conduct policy. I smell a quiet settlement payment coming soon.

The Way It Was

The highlight of the Ravens/Browns showdown was easily the fun footage of
The A Christmas Story house, which is great tourist attraction located in Cleveland. It gave me warm and fuzzies.

Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco has now become the 4th quarterback to make playoffs in his first three seasons. I know a few Ravens’ fans who find that thought revolting, considering Flacco’s penchant for blowing big games.

I’m sorry Cleveland; you should have beaten Baltimore for your season ending moral victory. Now you must be humiliated at home.

Raise your hands if you predicted a shootout in Chicago between the Jets and Bears. That many people? I think someone is fibbing.

I’m not sure which Florida team pissed me off more. The one who always fails at home or the one who choked away their division and the playoffs

Good grief Dolphins that was Shaun Hill, not Joe Montana. How can one team be so awful at home? I’m beginning to wonder why Pittsburgh didn’t blow this team out of the water.

And a side note to Chad Henne: if you want to be taken seriously as an NFL starting quarterback, a good first step is not to throw a game losing interception for a touchdown. I’m not judging, just recommending.

The same advice can be applied to Mark Sanchez.

Fun fact revealed during Jacksonville’s game: the Jaguars are 0-4 when not rushing for over 100 yards as a team this season. Considering David Garrard’s horrible duck of a pass that was intercepted, I’m not surprised by that fact.

Gee, I was right; the stink of the Giants collapse versus the Eagles was all over the team when they took on the Packers. By getting blown out by Green Bay, they gave the division to the Eagles. But that was painfully obvious when Michael Vick smacked them around mercifully.

Titans’ defensive end William Hayes suffered a concussion when hit in the head by an errant pass from Tennessee quarterback Kerry Collins. Yes, you can make all the jokes you want about this being a microcosm of Tennessee’s season or how this proves how little Titan players are paying attention to the game, but I prefer to look at it differently. Hey, who would have thought Kerry still had that kind of arm strength left?

Devin Hester set the NFL record for the most kick or punt returns in history with his 14th return last week. Now, if only he could develop into a viable receiver.

The Chargers didn't deliver when they needed it most, crapping the bed against a moribund Bungle team. Before anyone starts doing the post mortem on San Diego’s season, allow me to explain why this happened in two simple words: NORV TURNER.

Now former 49er head coach Mike Singletary got into a pee pee match with at the moment starting quarterback Troy Smith when the 49ers still had the season on the line. I cannot imagine why San Francisco finally sent Mike packing.

Due to heavy snow, the Eagles and Vikings waited until Tuesday night to face off, creating the first NFL game played on a Tuesday since 1946. Despite the changing times, Washington blew a winnable game then too by benching their quarterback and overspending on a lazy defensive tackle.

Did I really need the Brett Favre 2010 season video in memoriam? I felt like I was watching yet another well meaning but cheesily produced Oscars segment.

Imagine what would have happened to the Vikings season if Minnesota had started Joe Webb earlier in the year instead of having the albatross of a "legend" hanging around their throats. What? Who blasphemed and said that?

The Steel Pit

Well with no fresh game, there is nothing to review. So as we wait for the war on the shores of Lake Erie, how about we just cover a few nuggets of information about the team that happened this week.

The NFL reduced the fine on James Harrison for hitting Cleveland’s Mohamed Massaquoi from $75,000 to $50,000. I guess violence cannot be fined for more than sex.

The team voted safety Troy Polamalu as their MVP. Troy in his usual humble stance accepted the award then went out of his way to graciously point out everything good his teammates have done this season to help the team and him and then point out why no team sport should have an MVP. Sounds like an MVP to me.

The NFL announced the rosters for the Pro Bowl, with James Harrison, Troy Polamalu being joined on the team by rookie Maurkice Pouncey. It’s like the second coming of Dermontti Dawson I love this kid!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

After a disappointing season marred with quarterback changes, offensive changes and dashed expectations, the 49ers fired head coach Mike Singletary. This brings the total of canned coaches to 4. Hey, maybe Bill Cowher could take this job and be reunited with Jeff Reed!

But rejoice San Francisco fans, good times are coming. The team announced it will also hire a general manager and former owner Ed DeBartolo Jr. will be a consultant for the search. And if we remember our NFL history, we know Ed can build a team.

Chargers owner Dean Spanos stated publically that head coach Norv Turner and general manager A.J. Smith will return next season, effectively giving both the public kiss of death.

Hey, thanks Jerome, this backs up my point about Tom Coughlin and Matt Dodge, see below for more. Does anyone else find it funny that we have to get this kind of blunt honesty from a former player instead of a trained journalist?

An Ohio couple is suing the Bungles because of injuries they suffered thanks to drunken, rowdy fans. Two questions pop into my head. One, why did they wait an entire season to bring forth this lawsuit? And two, if they should win, how big will the impact be for all sporting events and for that matter, any event where large numbers of people gather and alcohol is served? Something tells me a quiet settlement will be reached before the status quo is seriously affected.

Deposed Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb is fine with the inflammatory comments made by his agent yet still worked to distance himself from said comments. Come on Donovan, just come out and call the situation, the Redskins and Shanahan a pile of bull pucky. There’s nothing left to lose at this point, stand up for yourself man!

Upon Further Review

While I usually reserve this section for something related to the field of play, this week I would like to step out and bring up a different subject.

Former talk show host Tucker Carlson stated while filling in as guest host on the Fox News program “Hannity” that Michael Vick should have been given the death penalty for killing dogs. While this is a strong, opinionated stance seemingly for justice, what it truly shows itself to be is nothing more than an inflammatory comment meant to play on the emotions of dog lovers, get his name back into the mainstream and gives conservatives much needed ammunition against the democratic president.

Let’s clarify a few things here. Yes, dog fighting and killing dogs for sport is a truly horrific thing, one I cannot imagine how someone could do and sleep well at night. For total transparency, I have two dogs and a cat, all of which I love beyond belief and will never condone, accept or justify in any way what Vick did to those dogs. But I have, and will, defend his right to become a viable member of society after being punished for his crimes, a stance for which I have taken much heat.

And while Vick did receive significant punishment, including incarceration, loss of income, loss of freedom, lost respect and more, he did not go to federal prison for killing dogs. He went to prison for the associated gambling ring. Punishment in our justice system for dog fighting is woefully pathetic, rarely generating more than a fine for the perpetrators.

Personally I feel we need to change the laws and punishment regarding dog fighting, make punishments stiffer and consequences more severe to truly deter people from continuing this appalling behavior. Is this what Carlson is hoping for as well by spouting off? I doubt it.

If Carlson truly felt this strongly about proper justice and punishment, how come he did not go further and demand stiffer punishment for other players who have broken the law in equally dreadful or deadly ways? What about players who regularly drive drunk and endanger the lives of other human beings? Or what about those embroiled in sexual assault or domestic violence cases? And don’t forget those who have been involved in murder cases, were their punishments too light as well? If Carlson truly gave a damn about law and order, players committing these other crimes, which are perpetrated against other human beings, would at minimum be included in this conversation.

But the vagaries, strengths and deficits of our current justice system, as well as the laws regarding dog fighting and how we punish offenders are not really what Carlson is gunning for here. His true target is democratic president Barack Obama, who in a phone call to Eagles president Jeffrey Lurie congratulated the owner and team for their new green initiatives and for giving Michael Vick a second chance.

Carlson jumped on this like a fly on stink. This was not the President thanking someone for giving an ex-con a second chance. And keep in mind, one of the tenants of our justice system is that once someone pays for their crimes, they are permitted to re-enter the general public and encouraged to become a productive member of society and businesses nationwide give ex-cons second chances all the time. No, to Carlson this is the President condoning dog fighting and an animal killer. Never mind the President has a dog himself, that information is inconvenient to portraying the President as sympathetic to animal murderers.

I would be willing to bet Carlson cares little, and knows less, about actual dog fighting, the laws currently in place to deter it or those who work every day to combat and end those practices. But he knows this subject stirs up powerful emotions in many people with any kind of attachment to a furry four legged friend.

And with that knowledge, he also knows by associating the President with such barbaric behavior, he can use the media buzz he creates to reestablish himself as a well known conservative voice. He doesn’t care about dogs or actual justice, just ratings, popularity and the ability to sell books. Someone please call Jon Stewart, he may be needed to perform another verbal smack down on Mr. Carlson.

He Said He Said

"For anyone to insinuate that I have a wish list of coaches to be fired at this time of the year, I have too much respect for the profession." - CBS analyst Bill Cowher on rumors he is gunning for the Giants head coaching job

Yes Bill, you have too much respect for the profession, except when you phone in your last season in Pittsburgh because you are unhappy with your contract negotiations and are considering getting out of the game without telling your bosses who stuck with you through some very thin times.

"I take full responsibility for every unanswered question." – Former 49ers head coach Mike Singletary before being fired by the team

Well at least he took responsibility for the failures of the team before being shown the door. That’s more than I can say for Tom Coughlin

"You can't always expect to dig yourselves out of a hole.'' - Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers after losing to the lowly Bungles and effectively ending the Chargers’ season

That’s what she said.

"I'm mad as hell. To be sitting here with only five wins is really beyond anything I could have imagined.'' - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

Oh come now Jerry. We’ve all seen your new stadium. We know you have a pretty good imagination.

"Is there?'' - Vikings quarterback Brett Favre when asked about life after football

Gee I wonder why he hasn't retired yet.....

"It's an absolute joke. I was looking forward to this. It would have been a real experience. This is what football is all about. We've become a nation of wussies." – Pennsylvania governor and Eagles fan Ed Rendell on the Eagles/Vikings game postponed due to weather

The best part is he had to wait two days to see his team embarrassed at home by a crappy Vikings squad with a rookie quarterback and interim head coach.

"We just have a tendency to not play well enough." – Giants defensive tackle Barry Cofield after New York’s latest humiliation

Gee Barry, what tipped you off?

Idiot of the week

This week the coveted crown of idiot goes to Sports Illustrated senior NFL writer Peter King. King has maintained his stance that Giants head coach Tom Coughlin was in the right for berating rookie punter Matt Dodge midfield after the punter sent a ball right to the Eagles DeSean Jackson who returned it for the game winning touchdown.

Well this week he brought the subject up again, this time giving equal time to another punter to explain the difficulties of the job and then soliciting reader opinions of who they felt should be held to blame. Being opinionated, especially on this subject, and a burgeoning media whore, I took Peter up on his offer.

Peter,

I enjoyed punter Chris Kluwe’s counterpoint regarding the difficulties punters face in the NFL in regards to Matt Dodge’s misfired punt during the Giants/Eagles collision. However, I maintain my point that blaming the loss on Dodge is foolish and uniformed. That Giants loss should be blamed on Tom Coughlin and defensive coordinator Perry Fewell.

Coughlin did not have the charges under him properly prepared for a potential Eagles comeback. If he had, his defense would have managed at least one good defensive stop during the final 8 minutes of the contest. Furthermore, he would have had his kick receiving team prepared for an eventual onside kick, which the Eagles needed at some point if they hoped to continue closing the scoring gap in the diminishing time remaining. Yet when the Eagles came forth with their inevitable onside kick, the Giants looked unprepared and completely surprised. This is Coughlin’s fault.

Continuing on, the offense did not do their job acquiring enough first downs, wicking time off the clock or even scoring a measly field goal to push the game out of reach of Philadelphia. During the final Giant offensive series, if New York had just run one long, slow developing play, perhaps a reverse or even a prolonged draw play, the Eagles with no way to stop the clock, would have watched the last precious moments of game time expire without recourse.

And as for the defense and Fewell, the Giants defensive coordinator continued during the last eight minutes to send a ridiculous amount of players at the
Eagle offense and Michael Vick in hopes a big blitz would thwart the Philadelphia attack. Vick however repeatedly exploited a depleted secondary and continued to move the ball and score seemingly at will. When this tactic proved to fall short, did New York change their tactics? No, they continued down a path that continually failed, and led to their ultimate demise.

Yes, Dodge kicked a bad ball and gave an electric player, in this case DeSean Jackson, an opportunity to do something special. But his miscalculation was merely the last error in a long list of them that began and should have ended with Coughlin. For Coughlin to publically berate Dodge at midfield for all to see was merely for the coach to find a way to shift blame from himself to a rookie who made one error after his teammates and head coach made many before him.

And if you cannot see that and eagerly join with the masses in condoning Coughlin blaming Dodge for the loss, then shame on you for missing some very vital failures in one NFL game and perhaps should spend more time studying how games are played and less time rating coffee and microbrews.

The Crystal Ball

To zero surprise, when he ran his column with reader responses, yours truly did not show up nor did any truly dissenting opinion.

But by bringing this subject up again, it shows he’s trying to justify his stance. King saw response to his opinion was minimal and probably gave his standpoint some additional thought, I’m guessing. But instead of changing his mind, backing down or tempering it by also laying blame on other deserving parties, he merely looks for a way to strengthen his own eroding position.

Being a man of great ego, of which we are reminded constantly in his weekly columns, Sirius radio show, NBC Sunday night appearances and continuous harping of his status as an NFL Hall of Fame voter, backing down is not an option. If King did, he would potentially show weakness and cause people to question his position as an authority on all things NFL.

More so, if he actually did lay blame on coaches and veteran players who deserved it, King would risk affecting his relationships with these people and lose precious access to information and teams. He’s had too much of a taste now of being on the inside of the big time, and likes being a national celebrity with a Q rating instead of maintaining friendships while keeping an appropriate journalistic distance. Although he certainly is not the only one afraid to tell it like it is for fear of losing sports buddies, Jay Glazer I’m looking in your pumped up direction.

Now mind you, I know it’s possible for reporters and players to be friends and still have the reporter do his job as an objective observer. If you doubt me, then read Myron Cope’s memoir Double Yoi for a great example of this type of relationship. Players loved Myron and he loved them, but he never let that get in the way of tearing them a new cornhole if they performed poorly.

So for trying to shore up a bad opinion by canvassing the masses, maintaining said bad opinion in the first place, and showing that you have moved past journalism to become more concerned with face time, Q ratings and maintaining NFL insider connections, Peter King you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

One week left, and only 1 point away from finishing the season in a top four spot. How’d we do last week?

Last week: 9-5
Season to date: 150-89

Hmmm, not bad and I’m almost there, as long as I do not make any foolish mistakes. Last year I tried to pick the weird games and failed miserably. So this year, I’m letting everyone else make the mistakes and move up the ranks as they fall. No going out on a limb for this guy. Ok maybe just a little bit…

Sunday

Minnesota (6-9) at Detroit (5-10)

Get ready for another tearful “retirement” from Brett Favre following the game.

Vikings over Lions

Tampa Bay (9-6) at New Orleans (11-4)

Tampa Bay still has some faint playoff hopes, but they need a win and tons of help. The Saints have an outside chance at the Number 1 seed in the NFC, if Carolina should pull of a miracle upset. But considering that most likely won’t happen, and head coach Sean Payton’s 0-4 in week 17 as a head coach, this game becomes wicked hard to pick.

Saints over Buccaneers

Cincinnati (4-11) at Baltimore (11-4)

Go Bungles, beat those Ravens! Yeah like that will happen.

Ravens over Bungles

Oakland (7-8) at Kansas City (10-5)

No, KC does not need this win. But hey, it always feels good to beat Oakland.

Chiefs over Raiders

Buffalo (4-11) at New York Jets (10-5)

Let’s reignite that New York Super Bowl talk with a convincing win over a crappy team.

Jets over Bills

Carolina (2-13) at Atlanta (12-3)

Thanks for the memories John Fox.

Falcons over Panthers

Pittsburgh (11-4) at Cleveland (5-10)

Win and you get a week off, simple as that. Plus, I think it’s time for a little payback after last year’s embarrassment in Cleveland.

Steelers over Browns

Miami (7-8) at New England (13-2)

I know, New England has nothing to play for and may rest some starters. But never underestimate Bill Belichick’s drive to humiliate.

Patriots over Dolphins

New York Giants (9-6) at Washington (6-9)

Hmmm, I’ve been pretty good predicting New York lately, let’s try one more time. They win the game to erase the bad taste in their mouth of the collapse of the previous two weeks, but miss the playoffs, bringing much consternation from their fan base. Yup, that sounds about right.

Giants over Redskins

San Diego (8-7) at Denver (4-11)

Tim Tebow mania reaches new heights! And Norv Turner loathing reaches new lows. Wow, who would have thought Tebow and that unpredictable throwing motion would be successful in the NFL? Oh yeah, I did when I called him a winner and a leader. You’re welcome Bronco fans.

Broncos over Chargers

Jacksonville (8-7) at Houston (5-10)

No Andre Johnson and a hobbled Maurice Jones-Drew. So who will care?

Jaguars over Texans

Chicago (11-4) at Green Bay (9-6)

Win and the Pack are in. I’m in the mood for cheese in the playoffs.

Packers over Bears

Dallas (5-10) at Philadelphia (10-5)

Michael Vick will sit this one out, since the Eagles have already locked up their best possible playoff position. So the Eagles will trot out Kevin Kolb. Do you feel good about that? Me either

Cowboys over Eagles

Tennessee (6-9) at Indianapolis (9-6)

The demise of the Indianapolis Colts has been prematurely reported. The demise of the Tennessee Titans, on the other hand…

Colts over Titans

Arizona (5-10) at San Francisco (5-10)

No Singletary, no quarterback named Smith feeling uncomfortable, challenged or inspired.

Cardinals over 49ers

St. Louis (7-8) at Seattle (6-9)

You feel good about Charlie Whitehurst? Me either. Congratulations Mr. Bradford on your remarkable rookie season and 1st playoff appearance.

Rams over Seahawks