The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 9

Let’s be forthright. Moss is gone for two reasons, one Childress found out he can only handle one player head case at a time, and even that's up for debate since Favre is obviously in charge of the sinking ship. And two, Favre doesn't like to share a spotlight with a bigger drama queen than he is.

Opening Kickoff

Is this joke too classless? I’m not sure, and I know I’m not helping by repeating it but…..

Deanna Favre issued a statement yesterday saying, "Those pictures Brett sent to that reporter were meant for me. But you know Brett; they were intercepted"

The Way It Was

Donovan McNabb was pulled during Washington’s failed two minute drive at the end of the Detroit game. Well he never did run two minute drill well. Just ask TO.

Wow, look, the Chargers won a game in impressive fashion. I bet they win again next week, and Norv Turner starts his annual, hey we're winning now, I can cruise until I blow it in the playoffs and still keep my job act.

Boy, did Detroit score the jackpot when they drafted Ndamukong Suh.

Didn’t I keep hearing the Packers defense was banged up and missing key components? Sure didn’t look like it to me.

Hmmm, how odd that Rex Ryan was so restrained after the game.

OH NO BRETT WAS HURT BAD! He gets his chin split open, and they need a cart to take him to the locker room? Was that just a bit overly dramatic? Not for Brett!

Do you get the feeling that if this season continues along this path, that Favre is going to be playing at the end in a full body cast? Oh yeah, he'd still play.

The Rams are 4-4 in the dreadful NFC West. If they win 3 more games, that's more games won than in the past three seasons combined. They could win this division. Nice job Spagnuolo.

The Patriots stuffing Adrian Peterson at the goal line was huge. Let’s see, Tom Brady and a cast of who dats on offense and defense tearing up the AFC. Did we flash back to 2001?

The Steel Pit

Last Sunday the Lady K and I had a great Pittsburgh style evening before the game. We headed downtown and rode up the Duquesne Incline to have a wonderful dinner on Mt. Washington at the Georgetown Inn. We got to watch the sun set over the Burgh and watch the city come to life while having a delicious meal (if you go and they have pork osso bucco on special, get it) and great conversation. Afterward feeling all Pittsburgh-y, we headed home and settled in for the game, hopped up with excitement. It didn't take long for that feeling to dissipate.

Remember last week when I said, basically, tough noogies on the Dolphins, if they had played better they would have won? Yeah well talk about a comment coming back to bite one in ass

First and goal from the 1 foot line; 4 plays and only three points. 1st and 10 from the Saints 23; four plays and a missed field goal that left time on the clock for Saints to actually score a field goal. Two created turnovers from the defense that were not capitalized on by the offense, and a second one was turned BACK over to the Saints which they used to score the game icing touchdown.

Bad play calling (come on Arians, they big blitzed all night you don't have one play to exploit that) sloppy ball handling (Sanders with another fumble on a return and screwing up a pass intended for Hines Ward and a clear touchdown) poor line work (yeesh when did the line revert to last year’s form) and overall bad play contributed to this horror fest. The defense did all it could, but in the end, it was not enough.

I could whine and moan about a few ticky tack calls, (the offensive pass interference call on Hines Ward that should have been called a helmet to helmet hit on a Saints defensive back) or non calls (you're gonna call roughing the passer on Harrison, but ignore the obvious holding he fought through during the same play) or even bad coaching (Tomlin should have challenged the non-touchdown by Mendenhall) but you know what? It doesn't matter.

Good teams find ways to overcome such adversity. And on Halloween night, Pittsburgh did not while the Saints, with their top three cornerbacks out, most certainly did. Good game New Orleans. Now, I hope the Steelers take off those clown costumes and put their uniforms back on.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

So what’s the most bizarre thing that happened to the Vikings this week?

A) Randy Moss’ buffet tirade, followed by his rambling five minute post game self interview where he questioned Childress and expressed his undying love for the Patriots

B) Brad Childress, acting quite childish, cutting Moss from the team without consulting upper management, ownership, any of the team or even telling Moss himself

C) Moss then being picked up by Tennessee

D) Hardly anyone has talked about Brett’s torn up chin, his ongoing texting investigation or Brett himself.

The answer of course is D.

Jerry Jones apologized to Cowboy fans for the teams’ putrid performance thus far this season. His next apology will be for charging full ticket price to see this train wreck.

The Vikings think Hank Baskett will be an adequate replacement in the starting lineup for Randy Moss. Can I ask this question now? Last year Baskett served with the Colts, anyone who watched the Super Bowl second half kickoff remembers that. But if Peyton Manning can take receivers and tight ends off the practice squad and the street, and they suddenly have 6-10 catches for 100+ yards and 1-2 touchdowns in their first game, how bad must Baskett be if even Peyton couldn’t make Hank look good during an entire season?

Apparently, one of the reasons Childress cut Moss was for his verbally abusive behavior toward some caterers that had set up a spread in the locker room for the players. What is wrong with Randy, who complains about free chicken, ribs and beef?

Hey Vikings fans, you don’t want to store those Moss jerseys again but can’t just throw them away? Apparently there were better options.

The Bills picked up released Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman. Eh, it can’t make things any worse.

Did anyone see this story of former Cowboy Nate Newton, who has dropped an astounding 175 pounds? Jerry Jones wants to learn how to lose 250 pounds in minutes.

Steelers’ linebacker James Harrison was called to the principal’s office, I mean met with Roger Goodell, regarding late and violent hits. Then two days later the league smacked him with another fine for a hit on Drew Brees. But no, Harrison and the Steelers are not targets of the NFL.

Steelers’ safety Troy Polamalu stated this week he felt Goodell has too much power when it comes to doling out punishment for players. The NFL and other teams had best pay attention, because Troy rarely speaks, and hardly ever speaks ill of anything. And he’s obviously fired up about this subject.

Upon Further Review

Well we’ve reached the midpoint of the NFL season. And everywhere you look, one can find articles giving out midseason report cards, adjusted playoff predictions and front runners predicted for end of the season awards. But not here. No we’re going to take a look at a few that’s that absolutely, positively have to go. Yup, it’s time to get rid of some stupid things and clean up football before we’re all driven mad.

Out with a ( ): Come on, I know truncating and shortening phrases or names is cool. It’s obvious in our current society that cool people don’t like whole words. But just say a player has a calf injury or a concussion. We all have arms and legs, and we all go out with them. Every day I’m out with an arm, leg and head. I never leave home without them.

Lame nicknames: Stop taking the first letter of the first name and coupling it with the first three letters of the last name and calling that a nickname. Nicknames used to be cool, like Night Train, White Shoes or Sweetness. In my book, B-Mac does not constitute a nickname, merely unimaginative laziness.

No flags: This has increasingly driven me so nuts in the last few years. You’re watching a game and some spectacular play happens. Either the defense makes a spectacular stop or thrilling interception that changes momentum or the offense executes a terribly effective pass play that results in a wild touchdown. And what’s the first thing you hear from the announcers? No flags! I know much like society the NFL has become more litigious, and will be even more as labor negotiations escalate, but can we not immediately look for any possible infraction and just revel in something amazing for at least 5 seconds before we tear it apart?

The New York Football Giants: I know I’ve mentioned this one before, but it needs to be brought up again. There has only been one team in New York with the nickname Giants since 1958. And it’s been the FOOTBALL GIANTS. It was cute the first thousand times Chris Berman said it. But now with everyone parroting it, it has to go. What’s next, the St. Louis Baseball Cardinals?

Pick six: Yeah, I know, a funny reference to hitting the lottery while referring to the six points you get for a touchdown. It was funny, witty and hip the first million times I heard it. In the billion times since, not so much. This tired and played out phrase is a perfect marker that shows us which sports writers, reporters and commentators who pander to the lowest common denominator and have zero imagination. Come up with something else. How about coming up with something new like a Cutler special? He wears number six and throws tons of interceptions.

Defensive pass interference: Bad teams trailing late in a game and desperate chuck the ball deep hoping for either a completion or penalty. This spot of the foul nonsense needs to go. It should be a set amount of yardage, 15 yards, and a first down. Period. It’s set yardage for offensive pass interference, it should be the same in reverse.

The U: Come on guys call it The University of Miami. When you say the U, I automatically assume you're an idiot.

Throw back uniforms: I like the ones we have now. Yes, I know, the San Diego powder blues are sublime. But come on. I hate tuning in and seeing the Jets dressed as though their ready for a steam punk photo shoot, or Pittsburgh looking like some weird overcooked sunny side up egg. I know the NFL wants to move product but how few people are purchasing these abominations cannot justify the rest of us being visually subjected to these horrors twice a season.

He Said He Said

"Good teams get breaks. They make their breaks because of how hard they're playing.'' – Oakland head coach Tom Cable

And the biggest break I see is the dam holding back Oakland’s scoring.

"There's no way the result and the way we played tonight, there is no way I can rest, sleep, eat well with a diet of that right there. There is no way. If you look at what we're about, our team, our stadium, the pride I have in this franchise, you know it doesn't digest. It doesn't go down. We've got to do something that changes this on the field." – Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

How about start with fire Wade Phillips and then stop meddling with how the team is run by whomever you hire, Jerry.

"I just want to be able to tell the guys [on the Patriots] I miss the hell out of them ... Man, I miss them guys man, I miss the team ... I love you guys, I miss you, I'm out.” – Former Minnesota receiver Randy Moss

Poor Randy, that list of guys missing him keeps getting longer and longer
“I’ve got to stand up and I have to make it right. When it's not right, you need to make it right. This is probably the most unemotional decision I've made in this job here.” – Vikings head coach Brad Childress regarding releasing Randy Moss

No, this didn’t just reek of firing a guy because you don’t like what he says or how he acts. Nope, it was completely unemotional. I bet Zygi Wilf says the same thing to Brad in January.
“How 'bout them Jaguars!'' - Jaguars owner Wayne Weaver

Ha ha!

"You know me. I think we can go nine in a row, if you ask me. People can call me stupid or whatever but this football team has the corps of players and the supporting cast of players to win nine in row. We just got to get it started." – Cowboys receiver Roy Williams

I think you meant corpse of players, Roy.

"Once a quarterback gets to a certain point, where his mistakes are far and few between ... it's hard to be that (critical) when your mistakes are at a substantial level." Jets receiver Braylon Edwards throwing Mark Sanchez under the bus for the Jets loss to the Packers

Once a receiver gets to a certain level, where he doesn't drop every other ball thrown right into his hands, then he can bust on his second year quarterback. Yeesh, and I don't even like Sanchez yet stupid Edwards makes me feel the need to defend him.

"What you have to do sometimes is you understand everything is sped up. When you don't have timeouts, it's got to come automatic. You've got to call a couple of plays at the line, a few plays at the line. When you go through this during the week (in practice), and you take a look at this type of atmosphere (in a game), I thought it was the best scenario to put (Rex) in there in that situation." – Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan on his decision to bench McNabb and replace him with Rex Grossman

I do not understand at all.
Idiot of the week

While Minnesota sent multiple contestants to vie for the coveted Idiot award, Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan found new ways to step up, conquer some fierce competition and lay claim to the prize this week.

Shanahan wins by having a multi pointed plan that began before the Redskins/Lions game even finished, by replacing Donovan McNabb with an ice cold Rex Grossman to run Washington’s two minute drill and try to win the game. The plan, not surprisingly, backfired horribly. But Orange Mike could have been ok at this point, but his brain must have been short circuiting due to all of his over tanning.

In the post game interview, when asked about the decision to bring in Rex, who hasn’t played meaningful football in over a year and a half, Shanahan said that Grossman was better acquainted to the playbook and terminology of the two minute offense, having worked with offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan in Houston last year. So right off the bat, Shanahan calls his starting quarterback stupid.

The next day, Shanahan tried to clear up the growing controversy by stating that the rigors of running a two minute offense are physically demanding and McNabb didn’t have the “cardiovascular endurance” to successfully pull it off. Now, McNabb is also fat and lazy. Strike two Mike.

Wisely at this point, Shanahan shut up. But his son Kyle didn’t, inserting himself into the bizarre soap opera stating that the coaches had informed McNabb earlier in the week that there was a possibility of pulling Donovan if he struggled during the game. Considering McNabb has played below his standards thus far this season that sounds reasonable no? Except that Donovan stated on his weekly radio show that no one ever informed him of that.

And just to add additional insult, the Redskins worked out a few quarterbacks this week, including former Raiders quarterback and top ten first round bust JaMarcus Russell, the epitome of fat, lazy and stupid.

Shanahan could have avoided any controversy, possible alienation of his quarterback whom he wanted and traded for, and having the rest of the team question him by just saying McNabb absorbed a ton of punishment, was playing with sore hamstrings and not as effective as he had hoped and he wanted to try a fresher quarterback to spark an offense that desperately needed some life at that stage of the game.

Instead, he went out of his way to insult McNabb, create doubt in the locker room and show that perhaps he is more than a bit overrated when it comes to being a successful head coach. And for that Mike, you are an idiot.

The runner up, and almost winner, is Brad Childress, for obvious reasons.

On Tap This Week

Yeah, I shouldn’t have said that upswing stuff out loud.

Last week: 7-6
Season to date: 68 – 49

Eh, perhaps I just do not have the cardiovascular endurance to make picks for 17 weeks. Or do I……

Sitting at home checking the waiver wire: Denver, Jacksonville, San Francisco, St. Louis, Tennessee, and Washington.

Sunday Arizona (3-4) at Minnesota (2-5)

I suppose it’s about time for Minnesota to win so we can stop talking about them for a week. And with Derek Anderson starting for Arizona, a better time will not be found. Somewhere, Larry Fitzgerald quietly weeps.

Vikings over Cardinals

Chicago (4-3) at Buffalo (0-7)

It’s time, no? Yes, it’s time. Buffalo finally, FINALLY will win. Call it the magic of Toronto. So even though Bills fans will be happy to see their team win, they won’t actually see it. Some fans can never win.

Bills over Bears

Miami (4-4) at Baltimore (5-2)

Baltimore has had to scrap to win against teams that have lit them up offensively. Miami is 4-0 on the road. That will not last.

Ravens over Dolphins

New Orleans (5-3) at Carolina (1-6)

New Orleans got their groove back. Uhhh, you’re welcome!

Saints over Panthers
Tampa Bay (5-2) at Atlanta (5-2)

Oh man, I love Josh Freeman. That man shows no fear, and is never worried if his team is down late. But Atlanta seems to be intent on being the cream of the NFC South crop. Although a part of me will be secretly rooting on the Bucs.

Falcons over Buccaneers

New England (6-1) at Cleveland (2-5)

You want me to really believe Cleveland is turning a corner? Win this game. Guess what? I don’t think they have. But it sure looks like New England has.

Patriots over Browns

San Diego (3-5) at Houston (4-3)

Hmm, it’s November right? Must be time for San Diego to suddenly come to life and Houston to start stumbling badly toward the finish line.

Chargers over Texans

New York Jets (5-2) at Detroit (2-5)

After that pathetic offensive performance last week, there’s no way I feel good about taking New York. Especially after watching what Detroit can do last week. But you know what? Washington is a crappy team playing over their heads, and Rex Ryan needs a snack.

Jets over Lions

New York Giants (5-2) at Seattle (4-3)

Seattle is unbeatable at home this season, crushing every opponent that has dared venture into Qwest Field. Sound like a safe pick, no? Well do you still feel that way with Charlie Whitehurst starting at quarterback for the Hawks? I didn’t think so.

Giants over Seahawks

Kansas City (5-2) at Oakland (4-4)

Who would have thought at the beginning of the season that this game would mean something, other than who sucks less? I like KC, but I’m going with the hot hand. And right now, no one is hotter than Oakland.

Raiders over Chiefs

Indianapolis (5-2) at Philadelphia (4-3)

Just to challenge himself, Peyton will pull a lucky Colts fan from the crowd in Philly and make him a slot receiver for the game. He’ll catch 5 passes for 104 yards and a touchdown. I know, you’re thinking it probably could happen. But this week, losing Gonzalez and going on the road against a rested team might prove a bit too much.

Eagles over Colts

Dallas (1-6) at Green Bay (5-3)

There is absolutely no way I can pick Dallas with any confidence again this season. The best part about their freefall easily has to be they have yet to win a game in their technological nightmare of a stadium. You know, the one they were planning on playing in come February?

Packers over Cowboys

Monday Pittsburgh (5-2) at Cincinnati (2-5)

Was last week an aberration or does Pittsburgh have some serious issues developing? This week will tell the tale. One thing I know for sure, Cincinnati beat Pittsburgh twice last year, and this team remembers that all too well.

Steelers over Bungles