The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 8

So the big question amongst the NFL media seems to be, without an undefeated team, is which club is the best in the league? Well here’s my guess, it’s Cleveland. Do you think I'm high, crazy, a fool? Check it out.

The Browns beat the Bungles who beat the Ravens who beat the Steelers who beat the Titans who beat the Jaguars who beat the Colts who beat the Redskins who beat the Eagles who beat the Falcons who beat the Saints who were also beaten by the Browns. See? Cleveland rocks.

The Crystal Ball; scarier than any Saw movie.

Opening Kickoff

Last week the games went off normally, everyone played hard, and no one got tossed for helmet to helmet hits, the sky never fell and no one played flag football. Wow, who would have guessed? Oh yeah me.

The Way It Was

Nice game Kerry Collins! Hey how come no one calls him an aging gunslinger? Oh yeah, because he doesn’t constantly pimp the media.

I told you the Ravens defense was overrated, giving up 506 yards of offense to Buffalo, and that’s with Ed Reed in the lineup. If you need overtime to beat the Bills, you’re overrated. I can’t believe Pittsburgh lost to those jokers.

Wow, Ray Ray saved the game. It sure is easy to force a turnover when your teammates have the opponent, Shawn Nelson in this instance, suspended in the air and unable to move. That was more of a mugging than a turnover.

Really New Orleans? Gee I sure hope that wasn’t a wakeup call for the Saints and makes them play inspired Sunday night.

Nice last moment win by the Buccaneers, although the Rams will soon break through and win a big one on the road. Just watch.

And that’s the kind of scrappy play I like to see out of the Redskins. They don’t have the players, but who they do play tough. Plus, big game for DeAngelo Hall, although picking off Jay Cutler is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel.

Good for the Panthers for finally notching that first win of the season. Although they beat San Francisco, I wouldn’t brag about that.

So does a loss to Carolina do damage to Jed York’s proclamation that the Niners will win the NFC West?

Ok, so I checked in on the Denver/Oakland game, and was stunned to see Denver down by 21 after 6 minutes of play. And at the end, the Broncos gave up 59 points, to Oakland! To be honest, I’m not sure how Josh McDaniels keeps his job after this season. Maybe it’s time to realize that former Patriots assistants do not head coaches’ make. I’m looking at you Cleveland.

Wait, you mean Cleveland with its former Patriot assistant as a head coach beat the defending Super Bowl champion Saints in New Orleans? Did Mike Holmgren secretly take over the team?

Seattle made the right good call trading for Marshawn Lynch. Perhaps Green Bay should have taken the same chance. Oops, sorry Packer fans, I’m sure salt didn’t feel good in that wound.

Ok, 2 minutes left, 4th and 1 ball at mid field and Belichick goes for it, fails, and the Chargers take over with a chance to win or at least tie. Everyone has been tearing Bill apart about this call. I loved it and here’s why. First, the Patriots won the game. So big deal. Second, I imagine Belichick thought, huh that’s Norv Turner over there so I know even if we screw up here, and he’ll botch it anyway. And you know what? Turner did, since San Diego’s high powered offense went basically nowhere, and so did his team by drawing a false start penalty, AT HOME, turning a 45 yard field goal into a 50 yard attempt and then having their new kicker Kris Brown, signed just last week, try to tie the game. And third, if the Patriots make that yard, the game is over and no one is talking about it the next day. Except to say what a gutsy genius move it was to salt away the game! Sometimes, I really can’t stand blowhard sportswriters.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 23 – Dolphins 22

Let’s be honest, this was kind of a sloppy game by Pittsburgh, with almost zero running game, too many injuries ranging from Woodley and Adams to a debilitating one to Aaron Smith, and with terrible ball security by Big Douche. I hope Tomlin made him carry a football everywhere this week.

But none of that is the story of this game; the only thing anyone wants to talk about is the touchdown/fumble/recovery/review that came at the end. Why, why why do I always seem to watch Steeler games that have some controversy that no one shuts up about. The Lady K said luckily this wasn’t a Super Bowl or we’d never hear the end of it. Boy that’s the truth.

Fine, let’s talk about it then. Referee Gene Steratore who made the fumble call in the end zone that gave the Steelers the ball back, is a Washington PA native. Washington is 30 miles from downtown Pittsburgh. I’m surprised there wasn’t even more harping on that one this week. Steelers Jonathon Scott, Doug Legursky and Big Douche all said they had the ball and let it go when the officials said touchdown let go get up. The Dolphins say they had it and use Ikaika Alama-Francis coming out of the pile with the ball and handing it to the officials as their proof.

Did Miami get jobbed? It’s debatable. Who knows for sure? Do I feel good about the call? Eh. A win is always good. But hey, you'd rather there is no nonsense or debate about it.

But I'll tell you this. The Dolphins took the ball away from Pittsburgh twice in the first quarter deep in Steeler territory and could only muster two field goals. They had five, FIVE, scoring chances where they settled for field goals instead of converting touchdowns. After the play in question and Pittsburgh kicked a field goal to take a one point lead, the Dolphins had over two minutes left to drive the ball for a game winning field goal of their own. They did not. They want to end the controversy? Play a better game. They blame the loss on a questionable call because it deflects criticism from wasted opportunities and a horrible last drive that went four yards in four plays.

If blaming their own failings on a questionable call helps them sleep better then good for them. But a good team overcomes adversity and finds a way to win. They did not. So tough.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Titans’ receiver Kenny Britt sat out the first quarter of the Titans game as punishment for his involvement in a fight at a night club, then scored thrice in the remainder of the game. Obviously, the one quarter "suspension" was not a deterrent and it is not a deterrent to anyone at all. Come on NFL, knock this nonsense off. Teams cannot police themselves honestly when it comes to players tarnishing the shield. A one quarter suspension is only a public relations show and is no punishment at all. If anything, it helps the team and player since said player has now been rested for a quarter while the opposing defense has been humping it hard and now have to cover someone fresh. Its total bull crap and you know it Goodell. Quit working to keep Favre in the headlines by any means necessary and start laying out real punishment, if you really fancy yourself as the law and order commissioner.

Wait; let me get this straight, Favre left the voicemails for Jenn Sterger, but not the photos? Is this the 2010 version of I didn't inhale?

And it begins. Feel good Cowboy fans, soon you shall be free.

Tampa Bay released tight end Jerramy Stevens after a weekend arrest for marijuana possession. Apparently, there was enough pot in his possession to constitute charges of intent to sell. And I thought all these years he was soft, since Joey Porter told me so.

The 49ers will start journeyman quarterback Troy Smith this week. Did you know Troy and teammate Ted Ginn have been friends, and teammates, since childhood? This is actually a great feel good story. It’s a shame they are stuck on a crappy team. But hey, it makes you want to root for them.

I love articles like this trying to pinpoint the chargers problems by sportswriters who do not want to look stupid after they spent yet another preseason overhyping this team. Guys, I saw the problem years ago. It can be summed up in two words; NORV TURNER.

Upon Further Review

Ok, through the power of the media, the NFL in the last year has changed the rules of overtime, during the playoffs for now, and enacted stricter enforcement regarding rules for helmet to helmet hits, at least regarding receivers. Let’s be honest kids, the NFL can never completely eliminate helmet to helmet hits unless offensive and defensive linemen start playing patty cake. But I digress. It’s time to use the power of the media to change another rule, and I shall be the one to champion this cause. It’s time to change defensive pass interference from a spot foul to a standard 15 yard penalty.

Think about it, this rule is ridiculous and overly exploited. Every time a team finds themselves down by more than three points at the end of the game, do they use superior talent or better play calling to make up the difference? No, they chuck it downfield hoping for either a lucky reception or drawing an interference penalty, knowing if they do they’ll gain tons of yardage for doing nothing but taking advantage of an overly aggressive defense.

Let me lay out a recent, and egregious, example. Flashback to two weeks ago to Denver against the New York Jets. Jets down 20-17 with a 4th and 6, Mark Sanchez tosses a desperation throw to Santonio Holmes at the goal line. Bronco safety Renaldo Hill is called for pass interference, first down for New York at the Bronco two yard line. The Jets moved 46 yards, got a fresh set of downs, and an easy touchdown all thanks to a pass interference penalty.

Was this stupid? Yes it was. I’m not debating the call, by all evidence, it clearly was pass interference. But was the contact worthy of a 46-yard gift? Only to boozed up Jets fans. For years, this had been the dumbest rule in the NFL rule book. This is but the most egregious example of a tenet that desperately needs to be changed unless the NFL prefers games to be decided by luck and rule exploitation rather than effort and skill. Come on Goodell, you position yourself as a guardian of the game and one who always stands up for the NFL shield. Do the right thing and amend this dumb rule.

The NFL’s new Dark Side

Thanks to heir Goodell, the evil of helmet to helmet hits has been resolved forever, as long as you only focus on hits that involve receivers and the occasional running back. But after watching the games of Week 7, I found a new threat to the health of professional football that must be stamped out before its evil pervades every level of football and destroys an American institution.

Last week, 9, NINE, interceptions were returned for touchdowns. With only 14 games played, that came to almost one per contest. This kind of abuse cannot stand if the NFL hopes to remain this country’s most popular sport. This is nothing short than crippling damage inflicted upon the most important players in the game, starting quarterbacks, with little regard to safety or sportsmanship.

While there are no concrete studies yet available to back this up, this kind of psychological damage wreaked upon a quarterback who’s forced to watch one of his errant passes turned into six points for an opponent can cause the kind of mental damage that lasts for years. This is nothing less than potential psychic torture. Any quarterback with an ounce of potential and talent can be damaged for life by watching a cornerback or safety grab one of his passes, and then run through the entire offense, while most likely shrugging off a pathetic tackle attempt by the quarterback himself, on his way to scoring a defensive touchdown. This kind of behavior cannot, and should not, stand!

If Goodell is serious about his purported statements regarding player safety, he’ll impose new, strict rules regarding interception return rules, and secondary ball handling rules to avert further tragedy and keep terrible happenstances like this from ever happening again. I mean, just think, what would happen if Peyton Manning had to suffer the indignity of having one of his passes returned for a defensive touchdown? It would almost be as bad as if it happened to Brett Favre. What, this happens to Brett every week? Damn Roger, do something now before all is lost!

He Said He Said

“It would be tough for me to care less about their opinion, to be honest with you.” - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin when asked on his thoughts of NFL officials’ comments regarding Pittsburgh’s style of play

BURN!

“You can't throw it to them. You can't give seven points going the other way, not in a game like this.” - Vikings head coach Brad Childress on Favre’s performance

"I'd agree with that too -- after the fact.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre, responding to Childress’ comments

Zing! Implosion imminent....

“Head coach John Harbaugh is right. He found some fault with just about everything the Ravens did Sunday against outmanned Buffalo. But in January, when the Ravens host a playoff game, all anyone will remember from the ugly Week 7 conquest of Buffalo (and I use the word "conquest" very loosely) is the W.” – SI.com’s Peter King commenting on the Raven’s overtime win

But you miss the point peter. If the Ravens continue to play like that against poor competition, they'll do worse against a good team, and they won't be in the playoffs let alone hosting a game.

"It's definitely embarrassing to be 2-4. Or whatever we are.'' – Bungles receiver Terrell Owens after their to Atlanta

Well, glad to see you’re focused on the team Terrell and not other things, like say the TOcho Show.

"I don't even know these guys' names. But, hey, I'm going to go after them and we're going to have a successful Sunday.” – Falcons receiver Roddy White before torching the Bungles secondary for 201 yards and 2 touchdowns

Talk about predicting the future.

"It's kind of mind-blowing. I had my mom, my aunt and my two cousins in the stands. The first ball went to my mom, the second ball went to my aunt and the next thing you knew, everybody had a ball." – Redskins defensive back DeAngelo Hall after intercepting Bears quarterback Jay Cutler four times

Now that’s a sweet story.

“There's no reason to shy away from Hall. I mean, that's hard for me to say, throwing four picks at a guy but I'd still, if we had to play them tomorrow, I'd go at him every time, if we could." – Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after throwing four interceptions, all to DeAngelo Hall

Talk about delusional.

“'They were grabbing my crotch.” – Browns receiver Joshua Cribbs on the Saints behavior during the game in pile ups

Pittsburgh, wear your cups.

"We don't have a replacement for Tony. I know we'll go as far as Tony will take us.'' – Cowboys owner Jerry Jones on Tony Romo after the Cowboys loss to the Vikings

Uh oh.

Idiot of the week

Once again, my cup runneth over with worthy recipients of this most prestigious award. But many people will walk away winners this week, as I bestow this award on impatient, win now fans, specifically fan bases for the Ravens, Seahawks and Saints.

All three fan bases watched their teams last week perform at home. And two of the three were lucky enough to witness victory. Unfortunately all three fan bases watched their teams struggle at home against inferior competition. While that happens from time to time, what makes this idiot worthy is that all three fan bases turned fast to the boos by halftime in each contest.

Yes, I know, no one likes to see their team lose at home, it stinks especially when you factor in the cost of tickets, parking, concessions and souvenirs. But these teams were a combined 11-6 going into Sunday’s games, a rather successful start by NFL standards. And a double shame on New Orleans fans, your team is the defending Super Bowl champions! Did you all of a sudden forget the great ride of last year? Did you forget how exquisite it felt to see your team climb to the top of the mountain? And Seattle, what the heck? I know the Hawks haven’t given much to cheer about in recent years, but your team was leading, and you boo them for kicking a field goal to extend their lead?

I know no one likes to lose, and losing at home is doubly crappy. But playing at home should mean your team has home field advantage, which should include fan support. Don’t boo your team for having a bad day, cheer them and support them, perhaps they might feed off that energy to turn the game around. But for giving up, or giving in too early, Seattle, Baltimore and New Orleans fans, you are all idiots.

The runner up this week goes to Jay Cutler, for his delusional comments regarding throwing toward DeAngelo Hall and the NFL for thinking they solved the helmet to helmet hits issue despite the fact such hits happen between linemen on every single play.

On Tap This Week

Was last week’s upswing just an aberration?

Last week 11 - 3
Season to date: 61 – 43

Heck no! I’m on a big upswing! Now that I’ve said that out loud…

Sitting at home learning needlepoint: Atlanta, Baltimore, Cleveland, Chicago, New York Giants, Philadelphia

Sunday

Miami (3-3) at Cincinnati (2-4)

Miami has won every game on the road. The Bungles have, well, sucked. But hey, every dog has its day, right?

Bengals over Dolphins

Jacksonville (3-4) at Dallas (1-5)

Speaking of due, I’m guessing Dallas is finally due to win a game at home. And with the awful on the road Jaguars in town, here’s an excellent opportunity.

Cowboys over Jaguars

Washington (4-3) at Detroit (1-5)

I’m feeling Detroit. Do I have anything to base this on? Nope. Just call it a hunch.

Lions over Redskins

Buffalo (0-6) at Kansas City (4-2)

Ok, I love Buffalo’s offensive output, plus how they almost pulled off the major upset last week against the Ravens. But that has to be a crushing let down, and I’m willing to give Kansas City the benefit of the doubt due to their performance.

Chiefs over Bills

Green Bay (4-3) at New York Jets (5-1)

I’ll be honest, I’m a Packers fan. But going up against an efficient Jets team coming off of a bye, and with Green Bay suffering a ton of injuries? I must jump off the bandwagon, at least for this week.

Jets over Packers

Denver (2-5) at San Francisco (1-6)

London Baby! With no true home field advantage, and with an English crowd probably daydreaming of soccer, I say Josh McDaniels finally puts it together. Although will it be too little too late?

Broncos over 49ers

Carolina (1-5) at St. Louis (3-4)

Ugh.

Rams over Panthers

Tennessee (5-2) at San Diego (2-5)

Recent history may favor San Diego, but hey, I’d still take Tennessee, no matter the quarterback, over Norv Turner.

Titans over Chargers

Tampa Bay (4-2) at Arizona (3-3)

I know Arizona is oddly tough at home. But really, who trusts the Derek Anderson/Max Hall combo and can say it with a straight face?

Buccaneers over Cardinals

Minnesota (2-4) at New England (5-1)

Sense the drama! Will Favre play? How will Randy Moss perform against the team that saved him from the scrap pile? Will New England score only 60 points or 120 off of this poorly coached nonsense? I know Childress is trying to find any excuse to bench the ineffective Brett Favre without looking like the bad guy. Well guess what Brad? You desperately wanted Favre, now you’re stuck with him. So you might as well enjoy the ride. And thank you sports media for inundating us all week with breathless reports regarding Favre's status as to starting or sitting. But next time, take a chill pill because guess what. Everyone already knew on Sunday night that FAVRE WOULD START! Yeesh.

Patriots over Vikings

Seattle (4-2) at Oakland (3-4)

Was last week’s output for Oakland nothing more than smoke and mirrors? Can Seattle play decent away from home? Does anyone really care?

Raiders over Seahawks

Pittsburgh (5-1) at New Orleans (4-3)

Gee, I hope Drew Brees gets confused as to which shade of black and gold to throw to. Drew, throw to the quiet player in black and gold with the long hair, yeah don’t worry, he’s one of yours.

Steelers over Saints

Monday

Houston (4-2) at Indianapolis (4-2)

Let’s see, no Dallas Clark, no Austin Collie, and no Bob Sanders. Nope, I’m still not betting against Peyton Manning, at home and in prime time. He’ll find a way. The same as Houston will find a way to blow it.

Colts over Texans