The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 4

Ok just so I understand, Big Douche and Ray Ray are text buddies, and were exchanging messages the week of the big Steelers/Ravens showdown? Big Douche, you’re trying to get Pittsburgh fans to like you again. This does not help.

Opening Kickoff

I’m willing to bet that Eagle fans give Donovan McNabb a friendly greeting the first time he takes the field. I bet every time after that they treat him with the same respect they usually reserve for Santa Claus. I’m curious though if Andy Reid will stop by to chat.

The Way It Was

Ok, so what lights were highest and lowest last week?

Leon Washington what fun! I know his leg got destroyed last year, but I couldn't figure out why the Jets were happy to send him packing. Hawks fans are glad they did, though.

Gee, Sebastian Janikowski couldn’t tackle a runner on a kick return and missed half his field goals. Not a good day for the NFL’s fattest kicker.

Speaking of kicking woes, ladies and gentlemen Garrett Hartley!

Ok, let me understand this. The Saints slug it out for two weeks against a Viking team out for revenged and an amped up 49er team, then fall to an underrated Falcon team deep into overtime and all I hear is the team is struggling and needs to regroup. What? They’re one missed field goal from 3-0, despite everyone targeting them as they’re the defending champions. I bet the Browns and Panthers would love to be considered a struggling 2-1 team.

I’m not convinced about anything I’m seeing out of Seattle. But I bet they win the division.

Everyone, deep breaths, let’s not get too wrapped up in this Mark Sanchez has arrived adoration. He's just as likely to fall apart in Buffalo as shine on Broadway.

And let’s take a pause about how good the Ravens defense is as well. The Browns passed on them and ran right through them. They should have never even been in that game. Just watch, some team with a decent pass offense will exploit that secondary. Paging Charlie Batch....

I’ll be honest; I loved Atlanta’s Mike Smith opting to go for it on 4th and 6 late in the fourth quarter late in the game. Very few others did, most thinking it was foolish. But fortune favors the bold, and you never win playing not to lose.

Yeah, it would appear the reports of New England having a defense are greatly exaggerated.

18 penalties for 152 yards and one big black eye loss to a division rival. Dom Capers had best find a way to keep his defense under control, because the horrible penalties they took gave the Bears a win.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 38 – Buccaneers 13

All you have to say about this one is….CHARLIE BATCH!

What a spectacular performance from the cagey veteran, who had been relegated to 4th string amidst all the Pittsburgh quarterback shuffling that has happened this season. Considering Batch took his position on the depth chart, and at times uncertain future with the team, in stride and not once complained, whined or moaned, he deserved a day like this more than anyone.

Batch threw three touchdown passes, had the longest run of his 13 year career and basically utilized the Pittsburgh offense to its full capacity within the best of his abilities. No, he’s no Big Douche, but he’s still damn good.

The defense did its now expected stellar work, with the capper being Brett Keisel’s interception he ran back 79 yards for a game icing defensive touchdown. What is it about the Pittsburgh defense and running back interceptions for touchdowns in Raymond James Stadium? It seems to be contagious.

The game was a stellar display of what this team can do, and a glimpse of how good the offense can be when it has, and will soon have, all of its key components in place. I cannot wait to see just how good this team really can be. Looks like I may have a chance to see that this week.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

During the Sunday Night Football broadcast, Al Michaels explained that Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano wore sunglasses due to eye damage suffered at a young age. If the head coach has issues with his eyes, why would the team potentially exasperate his condition by wearing those garishly obnoxious orange uniforms?

Remember during training camp, when Cowboys rookie Dez Bryant caused a minor flap by not caring Roy Williams’ equipment after practice, a common rookie hazing ritual? Fear not, order has been restored to the NFL hierarchy as Williams invited the team out to dinner, all 53 members, and left Bryant holding the $55,000 bill. Good thing he got a first round level signing bonus.

There has been more than a few NFL talking heads wondering why Batman and Robin, known to us mortals as T.O. and Ochocinco, have not performed up to overhyped billing. I have three guesses.
1) Perhaps Carson Palmer is as overrated as these two and needs receivers to make him look good instead of the other way around.
2) Perhaps T.O. is washed up as previously speculated and Ochocinco is not that good.
3) But most likely, it’s because they spend too much time with reality programming, as evidenced by their latest foray.

Speaking of the former Chad Johnson, Ochocinco’s cereal, the aptly named Ochocincos, ran into a public relations nightmare when it turned out the number on the box, to connect people with the Feed The Children charity, was misprinted and actually connected callers with a phone sex line. You just cannot make this stuff up.

Now we have all read stories involving football players and guns, but this may be by far the most bizarre I have yet to read. Here’s hoping Osgood will be fine, so far it seems so, and that he finds a nice lady to spend time with that does not come with such baggage.

Dolphins defensive tackle Tony McDaniel, as we remember was arrested and pled guilty to domestic abuse in February, was suspended by the league for…..one game. Good thing he didn’t get frisky in a nightclub bathroom, or he might have had to really face the music.

Honestly Roger Goodell? The man was arrested and pled guilty to domestic violence and you suspend him for one measly game? Great message you’re sending to your female audience. Hey, we care about you buying merchandise and tickets, but we turn a partial blind eye when our players smack you around. And on breast cancer awareness weekend too. Real nice there Roger, way to care.

Upon Further Review

Speaking of punishment, Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards, who was arrested the previous week for drunken driving, was suspended a whopping one quarter of play during the Jets game against the Dolphins. Originally he was slated to just not start, but Jets owner Woody Johnson wanted to send a message and make him sit out an entire quarter. Ooooh, I bet he learned his lesson from that! Come on, if you wanted to send a message, he and the NFL should have made him sit home for a few games.

Honestly, I do not understand how this is pretty much brushed aside as a boys will be boys sort of behavior. The man broke the law, risked the life of himself and his passengers and put into potential harm other motorists and pedestrians. He acted selfishly and irresponsibly, broke the law and made the NFL look bad not only with his behavior, but with their lack of concern regarding the incident and response to it.

Peter King wrote this week about any potential suspension:

“Know this, if the Jets had benched Edwards, they'd have been the first team to do so after a player's DUI since 2009 began.”

Ok, that may be true and may be how things have been handled, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. If all teams are this cavalier about drunken driving, then the NFL as a whole needs to change. This is personal conduct that I believe most definitely tarnishes the NFL, if only because it shows a lack of concern for a nationwide problem that can be prevented. He should have been suspended and made an example of to all other NFL players, coaches and personnel that this sort of behavior is no longer acceptable in the NFL.

Goodell had the perfect opportunity to change a culture within the NFL that seems to at minimum tolerate this behavior with one suspension. Even if it had merely been for one game, it would have set a precedent for future incidents and put everyone else on notice.

The NFL is a highly public business that operates in the limelight of all media formats. They need to set the example and be the leader. This would have been Goodell’s best chance to enact real, positive change by suspending a high profile player on a high profile team. By suspending Edwards Goodell could have made serious steps toward changing a permissive culture, brought consistency to his supposed crackdown on bad behavior, set an example for other sports and popular culture and aided in the fight to end a preventable cause of death.

Unfortunately, Goodell did nothing. He dropped the ball, let a corrupted culture continue unabated, let another egomaniacal athlete get away with bad behavior and showed an inconsistency in his discipline standards that make me wonder aloud once again about his ability to successfully get a new collective bargaining agreement signed and avoid a disastrous work stoppage.

Second Thoughts

Last Sunday, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported that Brett Favre has had second thoughts about his return to the Vikings and the NFL. Well no duh. Of course he's having second thoughts.

This season is shaping up to be nowhere near as magical or adulating as last season, everything Favre touches is not turning gold and the team is sucking and losing! I bet if they were 3-0 and everyone was once again lining up to kiss Brett’s feet, we'd have no such story. Come on where's the common sense? This story constitutes as a news flash? Anyone could have figured out that Brett is having second thoughts when the waters didn’t immediately part to show a path to the Super Bowl. Guess what? I found some other members of the NFL that have also been having some second thoughts recently.

News Flash! - Mike Tomlin is no longer having second thoughts about starting Charlie Batch!

News Flash! - In week 1, Andy Reid had second thoughts about trading McNabb. Then he thought of having seconds.

News Flash! - John Fox is having second thoughts about turning his offense over to Matt Moore with no proven backup commodity on the roster.

News Flash! – Ken Whisenhunt is having second thoughts about cutting Matt Leinart.

News Flash! - Dan Snyder is having second thoughts about paying a huge amount of money to Albert Haynesworth.

News Flash! – Tom Brady is having second thoughts about his Justin Bieber haircut.

News Flash! – The Chargers are having second thoughts about hiring Norv “fold in the post season” Turner.

He Said He Said

“Can't you see Not So Big Ben on Super Bowl media day in Dallas surrounded by 1500 reporters as everyone braces for somebody to cross the line with an uncomfortable question?” – ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons

I can, and will DVR media day just for the painful entertainment.

"Yeah, check sat at my house for a couple of weeks before I cashed it." – Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth on whether to accept the seriously unearned $21 million bonus check from the team

Oh I do that all the time. I’ve got a stack of million dollar checks lying around. I use them as coasters.

"I guess in this world we don't have a lot of people with, like, backbones. Just because somebody pay you money don't mean they'll make you do whatever they want or whatever. I mean, does that mean everything is for sale? I mean, I'm not for sale. Yeah, I signed the contract and got paid a lot of money, but ... that don't mean I'm for sale or a slave or whatever."- Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth on radio station 106.7 The Fan

Can someone please explain to Albert, who is terribly clueless, how the general principle behind employment, rendering services for payment, works and that sometimes responsibilities at your job change based on company needs?

"Game ball goes to Chuck.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Yeah it does! CHARLIE BATCH!

“Listen to this place! It sounds like we’re in downtown Pittsburgh!” – CBS announcer Gus Johnson during the Steelers/Buccaneers game

Hey, Steeler fans travel well, what can I say?

“I think there is no official in sports who loves to hear himself speak more than Ed Hochuli.” – SI.com’s Peter King

First off Peter, I think Joey Crawford of the NBA loves to hear himself speak more. And second, Peter nooooo; you're calling down the thunder.

"We had a little bit of a spark for about 3½ minutes. In this league, that's not enough." – Panthers head coach John Fox

Yeah, last time I checked it took 60 minutes.

Idiot of the week

This week’s award goes to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Roger has racked up, recently, an impressive list that made his win this week a rather easy runaway victory. First, he dropped the ball on punishment for Braylon Edwards, as mentioned above, and Tony McDaniel which I hope cheeses off some of the NFL’s female patrons. At minimum slapping McDaniel’s wrist for domestic violence on breast cancer awareness weekend comes off as tacky and an insult to women.

Next, I keep wondering if der kommissioner will be able to actually stave off a work stoppage. Well, now there have been reports that the league has been circulating information to teams on how to handle any potential lockout situations financially. I understand that being prepared for the worst is how you should operate, but this feels less like being ready just in case something bad should happen and more like preparing for the inevitable. Something I’m sure NFL fans everywhere would just love.

And the cherry on top of this particular cake wreck is easily his fanatical push to expand the regular season to 18 games whilst continually giving lip service about increasing player safety. Goodell seems deaf to the fact that every player, including this week Ray Lewis and Hines Ward, have been almost screaming that more games will only increase injury risk and shorten careers. To this outside observer, more games and player safety are two things destined to never meet.

So Roger, for dropping several disciplinary balls, eroding confidence in getting a new CBA in place and talking about player safety while blindly pushing changes that will only expose them to more danger, you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Well, here we are. The first bye week of the season is finally upon us. And like always, we’ll take a moment to see how those who are enjoying a well earned week off will spend their time.

Cowboys – Apparently, the Cowboys plan to spend the week emptying Dez Bryant’s bank account.

Chiefs – I have no idea, but I’m sure it will not be pinching each other. I’m sure no one wants to risk waking up from this stellar start.

Vikings – Brad Childress went shopping to find any rejuvenating cream, lotion, potion and pill he could find to pump into Brett Favre to turn back his clock by one season.

Buccaneers – Most likely, they’re still trying to figure out what was the number of that semi that hit them last weekend, and how Heinz Field got transported to Tampa for the game.

On Tap This Week

Despite the Packers and Garrett Hartley giving away two games I still had a decent week.

Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 29-19

Even better, I won this week’s poll. Yeah that’s right kids, it’s on!

Sunday

Denver (1-2) at Tennessee (2-1)

I like Denver, I really do. And I am a huge Kyle Orton fan. I still think Denver got the long end of the stick with that trade. But their defense is just not the same without Dumervil and Chris Johnson is just getting warmed up.

Titans over Broncos

Cincinnati (2-1) at Cleveland (0-3)

Should we start the countdown clock on Mangenius’ job before or after this game? What, it’s already started? Oh ok then.

Bengals over Browns

San Francisco (0-3) at Atlanta (2-1)

San Francisco fired their offensive coordinator. Yeah, that’s always a sign of a team on the rise. I think Singletary may need to resort to some trou dropping to wake this team up.

Falcons over 49ers

Baltimore (2-1) at Pittsburgh (3-0)

As Mike Tomlin put it, the best rivalry in the NFL resumes at Heinz Field. And despite the overhyped matchup that will take place across the state, this is the real game of the week. Tune in to watch the Raven defense become exposed, because it will be, and badly.

Steelers over Ravens

New York Jets (2-1) at Buffalo (0-3)

I’ve heard more than a few people call for Buffalo to pull off an upset this week. Yeah, I don’t see it. When you cut your opening day starting quarterback call me pessimistic but I do not see that as a positive sign for the team overall.

Jets over Bills

Detroit (0-3) at Green Bay (2-1)

You think McCarthy brought the hammer out this week in response to Green Bay’s highly undisciplined play last Monday night? I certainly hope so. As a matter of fact, I’m betting on it.

Packers over Lions

Carolina (0-3) at New Orleans (2-1)

People are calling this to be an upset too. How so? You have the Super Bowl champs coming off a week where they suffered a humbling overtime loss. If anything, I see them coming out focused and ticked off.

Saints over Panthers

Seattle (2-1) at St. Louis (1-2)

Ugh. I do not trust either team. When in doubt, look at the records.

Seahawks over Rams

Indianapolis (2-1) at Jacksonville (1-2)

Fear not Jag fans, if things go south, Del Rio can call the immortal Trent Edwards off the bench! That will turn everything around!

Colts over Jaguars

Houston (2-1) at Oakland (1-2)

Ok, I’ll concede that it’s tough to play in the Black Hole. But Houston might just be a bit more motivated this week after an embarrassing loss last week. That and Oakland still sucks.

Texans over Raiders

Washington (1-2) at Philadelphia (2-1)

The McNabb Bowl, with Donovan leading his new team into the den of the team who spurned him! The storylines, the tension the drama! There’s no bigger story in the NFL, well until the next time Favre does something.

Eagles over Redskins

Arizona (2-1) at San Diego (1-2)

Ok, I guess I’d rather have Rivers over Anderson. It’s just hard to pick San Diego knowing Norv Turner can, and will, screw something up.

Chargers over Cardinals

Chicago (3-0) at New York Giants (1-2)

Ok yes I know Chicago is 3-0, but they did not impress me last week at least offensively. Although I think there’s more problems going on behind the scenes in New York than previously thought. This could be a game that decides Tom Coughlin’s future.

Bears over Giants

Monday

New England (2-1) at Miami (2-1)

I simply do not trust New England’s defense. And I saw enough from Miami last week to think that no; they will not lose two division games in a row. Of course, I could be wrong.

Dolphins over Patriots