The Crystal Ball 2010 Week 2

Doesn’t it seem like the Detroit Lions live by the axiom of if it weren’t for bad luck they’d have no luck at all? After Calvin Johnson’s touchdown/no touchdown in a hearbreaking loss to the Bears, I think it might be time to start calling them the Detroit Charlie Browns.

Opening Kickoff

Wrangler is having a contest where you share your Wrangler story, and if you win you could play football with spokesman Brett Favre. If I were Brad Childress, I’d get everyone on the team to enter now in anticipation of the 2011 season.

The Way It Was

The Jets huffed, and the Jets puffed, but after all the hype, trash talking and general unrealistic expectations inflation, they merely blew. That’s 0-1, off to a great start for my predicted 6-10 campaign.

Boy, that Bungle defense was stifling. And Owens and Ochocinco must really be Batman and Robin. Being out fighting crime must have been why both of them disappeared from the sidelines just before halftime.

Houston found a revelation at running back by the name of Arian Foster. Foster majored in philosophy in college. I wonder what his thoughts were on seizing his opportunity. Something tells me a bit more intriguing than just going out there to do his best and try to help the team.

What a goal-line stand by the Lions. With the Bears at the Detroit one-yard line, the Lions stuffed three Matt Forte runs and stopped one Jay Cutler pass. But Lucy sure pulled the ball away at the end. So close they are, you just want to root for them.

Lions QB Matt Stafford
Eagles fullback Leonard Weaver
Eagles linebacker Stewart Bradley
Eagles QB Kevin Kolb
Eagles C Jamaal Jackson
Packers running back Ryan Grant
Jets NT Kris Jenkins
Panthers QB Matt More
Steelers LT Max Starks
Steelers NT Casey Hampton
Colts S Bob Sanders

This is a small sampling of players that either will be out for a few weeks or had their season end in week one. And this list was compiled while viewing games on Sunday, and not going through injury reports. Commissioner Goodell, ask yourself this after one week of the season. Do you really think an 18 game season, with players exposed to an increased risk of injury, is worth it now?

Neck beard, no! Your powers should avoid big interceptions and cause game winning drives!

Geez Cleveland, you can’t even beat Tampa Bay? The Mike Holmgren era is off to a rousing start.

Hmmm, Houston may have finally turned a corner. Congratulations to the team for finally getting that big defining win. And I give a long overdue apology to former Texans GM Charley Casserly. Yes, you definitely made the right call with Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. I felt he should have chosen for publicity, but he chose for wins, and he was right.

Derek Anderson threw 15 passes to Larry Fitzgerald, completing a grand total of three. Boy, with a receiver like Fitzgerald, you’d think Anderson could have at least lucked into 2 more completions no? Such pitiful results, however, seem to be a surprise to no one but Ken Whisenhunt.

It stuns me that I watched twice, in two different games, receivers running out of bounds to stop the clock on 4th down plays before getting the necessary yardage for first down. I’m beginning to think with this awful lack of fundamentals, that perhaps preseason should be longer instead of shorter.

I found it fitting, after the overall turd they laid during the game, that the Cowboys game winning touchdown pass was negated because of a dumb holding penalty committed by a player who already had two holding penalties called against him during the game. Yup, there’s your Super Bowl contender Dallas fans. How ‘bout them Cowboys!

The Steel Pit

Steelers 15 – Falcons 9

Offensively ugly, defensively brilliant, a win is a great way to start the season.

Dennis Dixon did not so much win the game, as not lose it. But for now, that should be enough. Rashard Mendenhall, however, showed he’s ready to carry the load and in spectacular fashion.

My star however, was Hines Ward who came to play. Smart enough to know he wasn’t touched on one reception and got up and kept running. And he caught at least one unbelievably acrobatic pass as well as tremendous blocking, especially on Mendenhall’s game winner. On top of that, he had his 26th 100 yard receiving game, a Steeler record, and went over 11,000 yards receiving for his career, also a Steeler record and an amazing stat considering he played his entire career on a team that has been primarily a running offense. Top that with the fact that he became the 12th receiver to achieve 900 catches. This man will keep the team together, he is a captain and a leader on the team, and he will be a hall of famer.

Plus, the fun of watching Jeff Reed set a new field goal distance record for Heinz Field was fun. Although watching his potential game winner flutter off course in the wind was decidedly not.

Now not all was sunshine and roses, as the team lost the services of Max Starks and Casey Hampton for at least one game each due to injuries. Although, when I heard Casey Hampton was out with a hamstring, I could have sworn they said he was out with a ham sandwich. I find the latter more plausible.

Regardless, the team made an excellent showing against a quality opponent to start the season. Color me excited for the potential of an excellent season.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Before the Heisman Trust could take it away, Reggie Bush forfeited the award and gave it back. I’ve heard more than one opinion that Bush’s actions tainted the award and removed some of the luster from such a prestigious trophy. Give me a break. I’d take the Heisman more seriously if it truly was an award for the best college football player. Instead, it typically is an award for the best college quarterback/running back. If you really want to return some shine to the Heisman, start seriously looking at all players, not just the latest quarterback flavor of the month.

If Ray Lewis is now likable enough for a national ad campaign for a major product, then I suppose one day Big Douche’s reputation will rebound and he’ll get back his lucrative beef jerky deal.

So the Patriots and holdout Logan Mankins seemed to be close to a new deal. But Mankins walked away because, according to reports, Patriots owner Robert Kraft wanted Mankins to publicly apologize to him for questioning Kraft’s integrity during what is obviously a contentious contract situation. Yeah, that will get a guy to want to work for you, making him humble and humiliate himself in public for money. Good call Kraft, no wonder the labor negotiations are going so poorly.

Big story of the week, the Jets as a team and their alleged harassment of the “hottest sports reporter in Mexico” Ines Sainz. First she’s uncomfortable, then later in the week it’s no big deal. The NFL issues a statement to all teams about proper conduct with reporters, and an investigation ensues.

There seems to be many conflicting stories as to exactly what happened, and who felt what, when and why. But what seems to be clear is the Jets team acted immaturely and questionably around a woman there to do a job, no matter how she may advertise herself. And obviously, it tarnishes the image of the NFL, even if nothing illegal was done. I say, a conditional 4-6 game suspension is necessary for the entire team.

Upon Further Review

Now, this whole female reporter in the locker room case brings up a pertinent point that I feel is being overlooked. Everyone is crowing about how wrong any sort of harassment to a female reporter is, which I agree. I know a locker room is a testosterone fueled environment to begin with, but she is a reporter, and despite the fact she plays off her physical beauty to advance her career that does not condone childish and potentially offensive behavior.

Another point being pushed forward is that even though she is a woman, she has just as much of a right to be there as her male counterparts. Once again, I agree. If you ban women reporters from the locker room, you give their male counterparts an unfair advantage and make it difficult for any female reporter to be able to do their job to the best of their ability. I always feel opportunities should be equal regardless of sex, race, age or any other distinction. What should and will truly separate people is talent.

But let’s just ask the unasked question; why are any reporters allowed in the locker room period? This practice has always seemed absurd to me at best, and somewhat creepy and voyeuristic at worst. Cannot we just end this particular practice altogether, ban everyone but team personnel from the locker rooms and have player interviews either on the field after the game before they go to the locker room or afterwards in the press room?

Seriously, why exactly is this practice even necessary? I know reporters make their bones by being the first to get the big story, to get the information out to the public as fast as possible, to be the one with the big scoop. But we’re not talking about vital information that could mean life or death or lead someone to the treasure of the Sierra Madre. We’re talking about interviewing football players after a football game. Not exactly national security level required information.

Look, I love football. I enjoyed playing it, I dig watching it and I take pleasure in writing about it. One day, I hope to be lucky enough to make a living doing just that. And with that said, I hope if I get that opportunity part of my job does not include doing locker room interviews with grown men in their skivvies.

Have you ever been in a locker room after a game? It’s a whirlwind of dirty uniforms, used towels, discarded equipment, padding, tape and bandages and rife with the odor of men who just did strenuous work for three plus hours. What exactly about that scene screams enticing?

On top of that, locker rooms are generally a sanctuary for players. They bond there with each other, get to know each other, are able to let down their guard, relax and be themselves without having to worry about public expectations or media obligations. It’s here where they come together as a team and as friends, and forge bonds that in some cases last the rest of their lives. When you inject outsiders, in this case reporters, into this refuge obviously there will be a certain level of guarded speech. Would you feel comfortable answering questions in your home to strangers that come by once a week and want to interview you as you headed to the shower? So tell me how interesting or forthcoming do you think players are facing a similar situation?

To be honest, the most open I see players in the locker room is during a local show called Steelers Huddle. During the show, they have a segment where a player interviews his teammates with silly questions. Because the interviewer is one of their own, the players open up, are funny, engaging and goofy. They never seem this open during post game interviews.

So what’s the point? If you’re not getting the best from players who are guarded with outsiders, and there’s the opportunity for possible controversy, plus it’s just an uncomfortable environment unless you are a part of it, why does this odd practice continue? Is it for controversy and reality TV? Sure, the occasional locker room meltdown is always entertaining, but hey so are post game interviews in the press room. Paging Dennis Green.

To me, I find locker room interviews pointless and silly. If the NFL wants to avoid potential problems, just eliminate locker room interviews altogether. How a player felt grabbing the game winning touchdown is information I’m willing to wait for until said player is showered and dressed. Something tells me I’ll survive waiting the extra 15 minutes. And I’ll bet once the players are showered, treated for injuries and feeling a bit normal again, they’ll probably be more engaging as well.

And What Have You Learned From All Of This?

In the great tradition of bad NFL writers and knee jerk reactionists everywhere, let’s take a small peek back at week 1 and determine what we learned from the preceding week’s carnage.


The Bills are still bad.

The Browns are still bad.

The Raiders, despite big time preseason hype, will always be bad.

The Texans at this rate will win a Super Bowl before any of the previously mentioned teams.

The new Reebok team sideline hats are terrible, and look like they were designed with the thought of seeing how ridiculous players could look.

Jay Cutler is still highly overrated, no matter who the offensive coordinator may be.

As is Mark Sanchez and the Jets offense.

The Lions cannot buy a break.

Not a bad showing by Patriots West, I mean the Chiefs.

Oh look, the Chargers are off to a slow start. 10 bucks says they collapse in the playoffs again too.

Some weeks the only thing I can pick successfully is my nose.

Wes Welker is just fine, thank you very much.

Andy Reid manages quarterbacks as well as he does the game clock and his waist line.

Once the Cardinals start losing, Ken Whisenhunt will be raked over the coals for screwing up his quarterback situation so horribly. Ken, if rookie Max Hall is so good, play him now. He cannot be any worse than Derek Anderson.

Even if he managed to only complete 2 passes, both to the defense, Favre apologists will always find a reason to excuse his performance. No, Favre wasn’t rusty due to lack of training camp practice with the offense; he just didn’t have Sidney Rice.

Peyton Manning is the undisputed king of commercial endorsements, although I do enjoy Tom Brady’s new foray into the arena.

Whatever Jake Delhomme once had, is long gone. And a change in uniform and location will not change that one bit.

If Roger Goodell and the owners honestly think an 18 game schedule is a good idea after so many week 1 injuries, then I can guarantee a player’s union walkout.

He Said He Said

“So far the combination of Kolb and Vick has done nothing.” – Fox announcer Joe Buck at end of the 2nd quarter during the Packers/Eagles game

Were any of us surprised?


"I'm going to dodge that one, and not artfully. I'm not going to back myself in a corner." – Steelers head coach last week when asked if Ben Roethlisberger will regain his starting job when he returns

Uhhh, Mike, what corner? Ben is the starter, he’s your $100 million franchise quarterback. When he returns you give him the ball and let him loose. The answer, especially after watching Dixon’s scintillating performance Sunday, is YES.


"I want to tell Pete Carroll, 'Thank you very much for kicking our tails,' '' - San Francisco head coach Mike Singletary

I suppose you could call that gracious in defeat.


"If I continue to play ball like I usually do, we'll probably be back at that same position we were this year.''- Darelle Revis, when asked by Peter King if he might hold out again in two years, with 5 years remaining on his contract

TNT is no longer the place for drama, it is now Jets headquarters.


"I think around here in the New England area, a lot of people don't want to see me do good. And the reason why, I don't know ... Sometimes you want your boss to tell you you're doing a good job. If you're doing a good job and think you're doing a good job, you want to be appreciated. I really don't think that, me personally, that I'm appreciated ... I'm not here to start any trouble. I am here to play out the last year of my contract.'' - Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss regarding his contract situation and his unhappiness about it after the Patriots win

I’m saying by week 7, he becomes a fully fledged distraction.


"I'm just glad he signed, so they'll have no excuses.'' - Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, on Darrelle Revis signing with the Jets in time to play the Ravens

Shame New York didn’t sign an offense in time either.

“I said the team that was more poised and smarter would win the game. That’s what ended up happening.” - Ravens head coach John Harbaugh on the Ravens/Jets collision

BURN!


"If they can't run the ball, they're going to have to throw it, and they can't pass protect. He'll shut up real quick. You know what? I don't like guys like that, OK?" – Fox announcer Terry Bradshaw sharing his feelings on Rex Ryan and the New York Jets

Yeesh Terry's ripping everyone a new cornhole lately.


"The time I stand up here and start blaming officials for a loss is the time I don't need to be doing this anymore." – Detroit head coach Jim Schwartz on the call that negated Calvin Johnson’s game winning touchdown

Hey, Mike Holmgren, you listening?


"We can't protect him all the time.'' – Patriots guard Stephen Neal on Tom Brady’s car accident

That is a grade A response. Mr. Neal gets the quick wit award of the week.


"The road environment is very different than our friendly home crowd, who when I looked up, half the stadium was gone when we were up 21 points early fourth quarter, which I wasn't so happy about. I don't think the Jets fans leave early. They're going to be loud the whole game." – Patriots quarterback Tom Brady calling out the spoiled, fair-weather New England fans

Man, Tom must be trying to get me to like him. I couldn’t agree more.

Idiot of the week

This week’s winners are Cowboys Tony Romo, Tashard Choice, Jason Garrett and Wade Phillips.

At the end of the first half of their Sunday night debacle, the Cowboys ran a play as time was expiring that not only fell apart it backfired horribly resulting in a Redskins touchdown. The play should have never been run in the first place, since the Cowboys were so far away from any scoring attempt that even if they managed to get the ball downfield unless it was a touchdown the team would have run out of time before the being able to set up for a field goal. And that would have been impossible to do, since they had already used all of their timeouts. The only result that could have come from running a play was disaster, which is exactly what happened. Especially when you consider the Redskins only managed six total offensive points, which would not have been enough to trump the Cowboys lone touchdown.

So, Jason for calling such a ridiculous play, Tony for not throwing downfield when it was your only viable option or just throwing it away when things fell apart, Tashard for not having full ball security and not just falling on the ground and letting the half end when it was obvious the play had gone bad, and Wade for letting any of this happen; you are all idiots.

The runner up, to no one’s surprise except Eagle fans, is Andy Reid for not only poor clock management, but poor quarterback management.

On Tap This Week

Ok, last week I picked too many road dogs. Somewhere I forgot that the first game in front of the home crowd can get everyone fired up a bit extra.

Last week: 8-8
Season to date: 8-8

So what am I doing this week? Yup, I’m backing some dubious road teams. Will I ever learn?

Sunday

Buffalo (0-1) at Green Bay (1-0)

Ok, this is just mean to Buffalo fans. At least Aaron Rodgers won’t have to worry as much about getting pounded.

Packers over Bills

Baltimore (1-0) at Cincinnati (0-1)

This one is actually tough. I’m not convinced of either Baltimore’s defensive dominance or their ability to be a dynamic offense. That being said, after watching the Bungles last week, I’m not sure this is even a test for Baltimore. But, I’m willing to give some home field advantage here, and I already feel like I regret it.

Bengals over Ravens

Tampa Bay (1-0) at Carolina (0-1)

Is Tampa Bay good? Eh, I’m not convinced. I mean they were at home and they did beat the Browns. Conversely, I’m also not convinced Carolina is any good. But I’ll give them home opener benefit of the doubt.

Panthers over Buccaneers

Kansas City (1-0) at Cleveland (0-1)

I bet after Cleveland loses to Pittsburgh badly in Big Douche’s triumphant return is when Holmgren has enough, fires Mangenius and takes over as head coach. He will not be able to help himself.

Chiefs over Browns

Pittsburgh (1-0) at Tennessee (1-0)

This is an easy win. Vince Young is no real threat to me, all the Pittsburgh defense has to do is stop Chris Johnson. No problem, right? Right?

Steelers over Titans

Chicago (1-0) at Dallas (0-1)

If Chicago cannot move the ball one lousy yard in four tries against the Lions, at home, then I have little faith in them on the road against a team that only gave up six points last week. Of course, I have little faith in Dallas avoiding either penalties or just plain sloppy play. But, it is a home opener in their mega garish stadium, so…

Cowboys over Bears

Arizona (1-0) at Atlanta (0-1)

Atlanta finds a nice salve for their wounds, while the Cardinal offensive players, who were all about Derek Anderson, suddenly start to wonder exactly what they were smoking. You think Larry Fitzgerald will forget 15 passes thrown his way and only 3 catches.

Falcons over Cardinals

Philadelphia (0-1) at Detroit (0-1)

Andy Reid is about one week from a full blown quarterback controversy. If Vick does well in this game and the Eagles win, which I think will happen, that week is reduced to Monday morning. I’m predicting inflammatory sports radio on the morning drive time in Philadelphia.

Eagles over Lions

Miami (1-0) at Minnesota (0-1)

Miami needs this game to keep pace with the Patriots in the division. But a week of actual practice for Favre, and the fact that Miami only beat the Bills and this is their second week on the road, does not instill me with much confidence in the chances for the Fish.

Vikings over Dolphins

Seattle (1-0) at Denver (0-1)

The demise of the Seattle Seahawks and Matt Hasselbeck has been greatly exaggerated. And without Elvis Dumervil, the Denver defense seems to leave much to be desired.

Seahawks over Broncos

St. Louis (0-1) at Oakland (0-1)

Ummm, yuck. Well, Oakland played a good team and got slaughtered. St. Louis played a supposedly good team although I have doubts about that assessment, yet hung in the game until the end. I want to take the Rams, but the Black Hole is an imposing place to play, especially for a rookie quarterback. Ahhhh screw it, let’s back the kid.

Rams over Raiders

Houston (1-0) at Washington (1-0)

Washington’s run defense is soft, and would have been exposed if Jason Garrett were a decent offensive coordinator. Hey Jason, if your running game is averaging over 4 yards a carry, why are you calling only 16 running plays and 47 passing plays? Let’s just say Arian Foster is going to have another fun game.

Texans over Redskins

New England (1-0) at New York Jets (0-1)

Yeah, after watching Rex Ryan’s vaunted Super Bowl team on Monday night, I came away with one conclusion. Bill Belichick will not need any illegal videotapes to figure out how to stop the New York offense.

Patriots over Jets

Jacksonville (1-0) at San Diego (0-1)

A nice win put together by Jack Del Rio’s boys, especially when their number one receiver was held without a catch. But I’m not convinced they’ve got something special. Do that on the road this week, I’ll change my opinion. Until then…

Chargers over Jaguars

New York Giants (1-0) at Indianapolis (0-1)

Yeah, like Peyton’s gonna lose his home opener to his little brother. Double stuff that.

Colts over Giants

Monday

New Orleans (1-0) at San Francisco (0-1)

Yeah, New Orleans didn’t look like world beaters in their opener. But San Francisco couldn’t even beat a team supposedly rebuilding with a rookie head coach.

Saints over 49ers