The Crystal Ball 2010 First Shots

Hello everyone and welcome to another season of The Crystal Ball. I know exactly what you’re thinking right now as we gear up for another fabulous, and perhaps last for a long time, NFL season; where the heck have I been? Well….

After last season, I got distracted before the first playoff weekend, so I figured I’d just take that week off and enjoy football without taking notes, making picks and all the other wackiness that goes on during a normal NFL Sunday for me. And I loved it. I had so much fun it was unreal. The best part was listening to the Packers/Cardinals aerial assault on the radio as the Lady K and I drove home from visiting family. We absolutely got into rooting on the Packers to make the big comeback. And they came so tantalizingly close did they not? Well, with that seed planted in my head my catching up the next week faded for more fandom, and then the next week as well. But I figured, heck I’ll catch up in between the championships and the Super Bowl. Nope, got too wrapped up in the abomination that was the Pro Bowl; boy I wish Goodell would look at my Super Bust plan and like now. And come Super Bowl weekend, I had no time to write as I spent the entire time, minus the actual game, digging out from under a record snowfall. A dig out that seemed to go on for the entire length of February, I might add.

Suffice to say, by the time I had time to pen a few words on the NFL universe, it had long closed shop. So I just decided to step back, enjoy spring and summer and catch up when the good stuff came back around. And I did, indulging in a nice trip to Washington DC with the Lady K, planting and cultivating flowers, mowing the grass, a little home improvement here and there and just generally trying to enjoy life as best I could. And now here we are poised at the precipice of another NFL season of madness. I feel fresh and recharged, ready to roar in, much like the players are now as they collide through training camps. So now that you know what I’ve been up to, let’s take a brief look back and see what everyone else in the NFL has been doing that brings them to the 2010 season. Sounds fun, no?

Buffalo Bills

After surviving their brush with TO (tell me this wouldn’t make a great reality show, just plunking TO onto a different team each season and seeing what happens, oh wait it already is one), the Bills worked hard to become even more irrelevant in the competitive AFC East. They failed to draft a quarterback, choosing to go instead with the Pu Pu platter that is Edwards, Fitzpatrick and Brohm. Book your trip to Canton now, Buffalo fans! If that were not enough, they hired a general manager (Buddy Nix) and a retread head coach (Chan Gailey) with a combined age older than Gandalf. I’m sure they’ll easily be able to relate to today’s player in today’s NFL, just as soon as they get those dagnabbed kids to turn down that music!

Miami Dolphins

Let’s see, they traded with the Broncos to acquire talented, but potentially disruptive, receiver Brandon Marshall. They let Joey Porter go in free agency, but I think that’s better for Joey. They meted out zero discipline to defensive tackle Tony McDaniel after his arrest for domestic violence. Well, neither did the NFL so why should the Dolphins worry about such matters? And their general manager asked Dez Bryant in a pre-draft interview if his mother was a prostitute. Sounds like Bill Parcells has everything under control in Dolphin land.

New York Jets

Boy has Rex Ryan been a busy boy since the AFC Championship game. Son of Buddy and the Jets have, since their crazy run….

• · Potentially damaged their running game, and jettisoned locker room leadership, by releasing Alan Faneca, Thomas Jones and Leon Washington
• · Attempted to make up for that by signing LaDainian Tomlinson, who is over the hill and has never played regularly in cold weather, and by putting a rookie in Faneca’s place on the offensive blind side
• · Collected a few other aging stars to ramp up star power, ticket sales and see who has what left in the tank for a Super Bowl run
• · Continually cheese off Darrelle Revis, who wants a ridiculous pay raise but is their main defensive attraction
• · Started shrinking Ryan by him having the lap band surgery
• · They move into a fancy new stadium to start the season
• · Ramped up expectations for already overly expectant New York fans by plainly stating they expect to be Super Bowl bound. Boy that one’s gonna hurt if they falter
• · A Jets fan is seeking $185 million for Jets fans based on Spygate, his argument being that by the Patriots actions; it fixed the outcome of games and stole money from the fans. Ok the team had nothing to do with this, but the weirdness was just too good to pass up
• · Decided all this was too good to keep in house, so they signed up for a season of HBO’s Hard Knocks

I’ll give Rex and company this much, from what I’ve heard so far, Hard Knocks is must see television.

New England Patriots

As usual, Belichick brought in another retread, Alge Crumpler this time, and no name players in order to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s his system and not the players that wins games. Meanwhile it’s been 6 years since he’s won the Super Bowl, his veteran leadership keeps leaving or retiring, Wes Welker is still recovering from off season surgery and the Pats seem hell bent on alienating Tom Brady with their protracted contract negotiations, despite the fact that Brady gave them a nice discount last time. Bill Simmons had a great take on this and hold outs in general here. Tom himself is hurting his own cause for a fat cat contract by walking around with his Justin Bieber haircut. Tom, you’re in your 30s and married to a super model. You can afford a better haircut!

Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals desperately tried to keep up with the Joneses, or in this case Jets, with their own grocery list of nonsense, which really is just par for the course with this team.

• They signed Pacman Jones, late of strip club trouble, and Matt Jones, late of cocaine trouble, to go with Tank Johnson, late of gun trouble, and Cedric Benson, late of bar fighting trouble
• Talented but troubled receiver Chris Henry died in an automotive accident, and his autopsy revealed serious brain trauma from playing football. Please continue to pay attention Roger Goodell
• Chad Ochocinco, still love that, had a rousing turn on Dancing With The Stars, and followed that with his first foray into reality television with his own dating show, Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch
• And right before camp, the team upped the ante by signing reality show star and sometimes wide receiver Terrell Owens at the behest of Carson Palmer

At minimum this should be entertaining. At most, you’ll forget about the Jets. Although I wonder if Palmer talked to Donovan McNabb, Tony Romo or Jeff Garcia before he urged the Bengals to sign TO. Something tells me no.

Cleveland Browns

The Browns, poised to become the most successful team in Cleveland now that LeBron and his talents are in South Beach, went right to work on turning everything around and hired Mike Holmgren as their general manager. Well, the walrus can obviously turn things around, look how successful the Seahawks were under his reign. Ok, you must conveniently ignore the mess the team became when he left Seattle. So, how did Mike start out his new reign? Did Holmgren fix things by jettisoning Mangenius? No. Did he draft a franchise quarterback? No. Did he get some semblance of a number 1 receiver? No. He dumped Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn, which only benefits Anderson and Quinn, for Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace. I smell division championship!

Baltimore Ravens

Ozzie Newsome once again showed his shrewdness in the front office by giving a second chance to Donte Stallworth and acquiring Anquan Boldin to revamp the teams receiving corps and nabbing Marc Bulger as Flacco’s backup. This of course immediately vaulted Baltimore to Super Bowl contender. The facts no one are recognizing is their secondary is a mess, Ray Lewis is 35 and Ed Reed may not play at all this season. For once, the offense may be better than the defense. Strange days these are.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Considering somewhere around May I began wondering if Pittsburgh and Cincinnati switched uniforms, I think that should tell you how the Steelers off season went. Let’s try to sum it up as neatly as possible.

• Ben Roethlisberger, from now on to be known as Big Douche, let his ego and libido get himself into a ton of trouble
• It didn’t help that Terry Bradshaw and Hines Ward were both carping on him in the aftermath, either. Although I think they both have valid points
• Jeff Reed took the forgiveness of the organization for yet more off field nonsense and snuffed at it, cheesed he didn’t get a long term contract
• LaMarr Woodley also snuffed at not getting a long term contract, put he has more ground to stand upon as he could be the best defensive player in the organization
• Willie Colon tore his Achilles tendon and is gone for the season. Now the team is struggling to find someone who can account for 12-16 false starts a season
• Art Rooney II firmly suggested the team get back to its running roots, conveniently forgetting he has a $100 Million quarterback who I’m sure they don’t want to pay to hand the ball off to someone else
• Rookie phenom, and potential opening day starter, Maurkice Pouncey was accused of taking money before his last bowl game at Florida. Pouncey denies such, but an investigation is ongoing
• Peter Schrager, in an exercise more futile than mock drafts, attempted to gauge current wide receivers and their worthiness of entering the Hall of Fame. To stir up already irate Steeler fans having a tumultuous offseason, Schrager felt Hines Ward was not hall worthy. Not sure how a receiver that owns every significant Steeler receiving record, is a two time Super Bowl champion and one time Super Bowl MVP will surpass 10,000 career yards receiving this season and all done in a run first offense with no less than 8 different quarterbacks throwing him passes doesn’t make the Hall of Fame, but what do I know on the subject
• And the team had a reunion tour of sorts by resigning 4 former players to the squad

It’s been weird in the Burgh this year.

Denver Broncos

All you need to know is the Broncos drafted Tim Tebow.

San Diego Chargers

Well, it’s a new season, but once again the Chargers are Super Bowl favorites. Despite the fact that Vincent Jackson and Marcus McNeill are holding out, with Jackson looking to stay away until week 10 and they have no other receivers at the same level, they let LaDainian Tomlinson walk but their plan is to replace him with a rookie and Darren Sproles, their secondary is revamped and Norv Turner is still prominently involved. No problem, this team is Super Bowl bound.

Kansas City Chiefs

With Scott Pioli in the front office, Romeo Crennel leading the defense and now Charlie Weis helming the offense, the Chiefs are putting the Patriots old band back together. Something tells me this won’t work, since I don’t think Todd Haley likes hoodies.

Oakland Raiders

Oakland kept their spouse abusing, assistant punching head coach, which at least gives them some stability for once. And then had a draft widely lauded by draftniks and NFL executives alike. They followed this by dumping JaMarcus Russell, who was then later arrested for drug charges, and replaced him with the more than competent Jason Campbell. On top of that, with Lane Kiffin’s mercenary and rather infantile behavior over the last 18 months, Al Davis looked to be a genius in character assessment. Could Al actually be alive?

Indianapolis Colts

This is a contract year for Peyton Manning, so he’ll probably throw for 10,000 yards, 120 touchdowns but fail in the AFC Championship game, which will lower his overall potential contract. Poor Peyton, he should try to supplement his football income by becoming a product spokesperson on the side. It might help make ends meet in this tough economy.

Jacksonville Jaguars

Are they in Los Angeles yet? No? Wake me when they are and perhaps they’ll become interesting.

Houston Texans

Actually, Houston had a quiet and efficient offseason upgrading a rising defense and offense after coming off the success of their first winning season in franchise history. Perhaps they’ll finally get enough recognition now to have something worth riffing about of this season.

Tennessee Titans

Vince Young got into a fight in a strip club, but was not punished, while the team paid Chris Johnson a fat bonus for keeping the team relevant and fantasy football owners ecstatic. But the team was not without struggles as the stadium was flooded in early May during massive and deadly flooding in Tennessee. Plus, they got wrapped up in the Lane Kiffin nonsense when Kiffin poached one of their coaches and the team retaliated by suing him. But I think that lawsuit is merely a stunt to drive ticket sales up by siding with disgruntled Volunteer fans. Nah, I’m not cynical.

Dallas Cowboys

Oh, the usual stuff happened in Big D, you know, Jerry Jones getting toasted and making fun of Bill Parcells, Dez Bryant ignoring rookie hazing, much to the chagrin of the man whose job he’ll take, Tony Romo working on his golf game instead of his passing game, and Miles Austin’s new “friendship” with Kim Kardashian. Boy things sure got boring once TO left.

Philadelphia Eagles

Andy Reid decided it was time for a change and shipped out Donovan McNabb and replaced him with the highly touted but inexperienced Kevin Kolb. I have no problem with this move. Reid and McNabb have gone as far as they probably could, and Kolb looks like he might be a pretty good quarterback or the next Rob Johnson. But considering the man cannot manage a clock, I’m not surprised this move was handled so poorly by Reid. He shipped McNabb to division rival Washington, for a second round pick. Reid assured himself of merciless booing by Philadelphia fans, who are wont to do such things, at home if McNabb should pull off a big upset. In the past in such situations, it has been proven this usually occurs. See Bledsoe/Buffalo circa 2002. To make that comparison even more eerie, McNabb even took out a big ad thanking Philly fans, why I don’t know since they rode him for 10 years without so much as a thank you. But Donovan is a better man than most. Regardless, now Reid has Kolb and Michael Vick, who shows that he really cannot stay away from trouble after a person was shot at his 30^th birthday party, held at a club! Michael, if you want to stay away from trouble, why do you keep showing up where trouble lives? Stay tuned, when this situation implodes, it’ll take South Philly with it.

New York Giants

After another bizarre collapse last year, Tom Coughlin is firmly ensconced on the hot seat in NYC. Expectations are super high for the defense to rebound and the offense to progress under the lesser Manning, especially with the opening of their fancy new stadium. But it will never happen, because punter Jeff Feagles retired after 22 seasons. I don’t know if Jeff thought this through. How will he get a new pool installed at his home without some new player paying him off for his latest jersey number?

Washington Redskins

For once, Dan Snyder left well enough alone. He hired Mike Shanahan to be the head coach, and let Shanahan run things his way, which meant jettisoning Jason Campbell in favor of Donovan McNabb, who buys them a few years to start over at quarterback. He let Shanahan handle the Haynesworth debacle, which he now seems to be winning. And he didn’t buy every player in free agency despite the urge to do so without a salary cap. But that’s ok. Dan has found other ways in which to be obnoxious and grade A nimrod.

Chicago Bears

Speaking of coaches on the hot seat, Lovie Smith everyone! Actually, most of the Bears brain trust is feeling fire under their fannies right now if this team doesn’t do something special, quite difficult when the team is in the same division as the Packers and Vikings. They sold the farm for Jay “hang your head” Cutler, and that so far has not panned out. I’m sure adding Julius Peppers, a player notorious for only playing to his max potential in contract years, will help. Wait, he just got a fat new contract? Oh no.

Detroit Lions

"Some people watch adult videos on their computer. I go to YouTube and watch Jahvid Best highlight clips. That's what gets ME going." – Lions head coach Jim Schwartz

Does his wife know this?

Green Bay Packers

Boy, it’s sure nice to see the Packers FINALLY have a successful quarterback to lead the team back to greatness. Seems like forever since they’ve had a decent QB, no?

Minnesota Vikings

FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE interception FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE ankle FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE super bowl FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE saints FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE retirement FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE return FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE

I’m sure there was something else this team did, but it got lost in the din of the annual Favre Watch. By the way, I found a reason to like the World Cup. It delayed Favre Watch until late July. Thanks World Cup!

San Francisco 49ers

San Francisco canned their GM hours before the draft, under mysterious circumstances, yet the man still ran the draft for them. Such a very strange story that I still do not fully understand. At least Singletary kept his pants on, though, so that’s a plus.

Arizona Cardinals

Kurt Warner went into that good night, taking his much earned retirement, Anquan Boldin and Karlos Dansby left in free agency and now Matt “Hot Tub” Leinart is the man behind center. I’m as curious as the next person how this one plays out. Oh, and they continued their evolution into Steelers West by adding Joey Porter and Alan Faneca to the roster. Next season new uniforms in Black and Gold for all!

St. Louis Rams

Predictably, they drafted Sam Bradford to be their franchise quarterback. Of course, with their offensive line, they should probably wait to play him unless they want to peal the boy off the Astroturf. Funny how time changes things, since 10 years ago this team was the defending Super Bowl champions. Today, not so much.

Seattle Seahawks

In an effort to clean up the mess Holmgren left behind, the team made multiple changes to the roster as well as the front office. The most visible being offering Pete Carroll asylum from NCAA sanctions, I mean giving him another crack at being an NFL head coach. Somewhere, Patriot fans are laughing at the 12^th man.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

With a young coach and a roster that’s barely old enough to shave, this team is a few years away from being noteworthy or successful. We’ll come back to them in, say 2012.

Atlanta Falcons

Atlanta was super quiet, making a few upgrades and planning a run at New Orleans. And no one said Vick around the facilities, which is a big win for the franchise.

Carolina Panthers

John Fox, with his job on the line, made addition by subtraction by letting Julius Peppers and Jake Delhomme go. Now Matt Moore is the man behind center. And Fox had best be right because all the other quarterbacks on his roster have zero game experience. Unfortunately, it could be a long season as Steve Smith may not be ready for the start due to a broken arm suffered during his football camp for kids. You cannot make this stuff up if you tried.

New Orleans Saints

With Rickey Jackson being the first true Saint enshrined in Canton and the team appearing in, and winning, their first ever Super Bowl, it’s been a heck of a year to be a Saints fan. Actually, I think the last celebration party for the Super Bowl victory will be ending September 6^th, so if you’ve missed the 9,487 previous parties, you might want to get to this one before it’s too late.

In other news, Drew Brees and Sean Payton both wrote books, and Payton was part of a drug theft scandal that the NFL has successfully kept very quiet and meted out zero punishment to Payton, his assistant coach tagged in the scandal or the team. But hey, let’s ignore that, this is the Super Bowl champions. I know it happens every year, but for some reason, this one bugs me and we’ll have more on it, and NFL punishment in general, in the coming weeks.

NFL

Between celebrity relationships (Miles Austin, Reggie Bush) off the field arrests (The Bungles) off the field troubles (Big Douche, Vince Young, Michael Vick) reality shows (The Jets, TO, Ochocinco) scandals (The Saints and vicodin) and book tours (Brees, Payton, Dungy) and of course the annual Favre Watch, the NFL Network needed to revamp their format in order to properly address how NFL as well as all the entertainment/police blotter/gossip rag information associated with the teams, players and league is disseminated. They accomplished this by retooling their nightly news program. Stay tuned this fall when they debut in the 7:00 hour NTAH (NFL Total Access Hollywood). No word yet if Pat O’Brien will be involved.

The league, in its ongoing efforts to combat concussions after years of ignoring the issue, took some new measures this year. Although their results from their helmet study stating that no helmet makes an appreciable difference seems to be a bit bogus, and sends the wrong message to the college and high school ranks.

The NFL this season will operate with no salary cap, in a structured environment agreed upon by the league and NFLPA in the event of no collective bargaining agreement. The league and the NFLPA have been at odds regarding a new CBA for some time, and talks regarding having a new one in place by the March 1^st deadline have by many reports not been going swimmingly. Alex Marvez of Fox Sports outlined some of the biggest hurdles facing both sides earlier this spring with a rather pessimistic, or one could say realistic, view on the ongoing talks. The longer this thing drags on it feels more and more that as the two sides keep grabbing feathers, they’re going to just end up killing the golden goose.

In a rule change not related to Brett Favre’s Super Bowl aspirations, the NFL moved the umpire, usually positioned 5-7 yards in front of the ball on the defensive side, to the offensive backfield. The move was intended to protect umpires, who have been increasingly injured getting caught up in plays. I like it, but I bet teams get away with a bunch more holding calls now on the interior offensive line.

In other officiating news, referee Bill Leavy for some reason felt the need to unburden himself and admitted that he blew two calls late in the Seahawks/Steelers Super Bowl. While I imagine this was cold comfort for Seahawk fans, it does nothing but stirs up bitter memories and taints others. Look, any Steeler fan will admit that there were a few ticky tack calls that went our way. And a few that went against us too, if I recall correctly. But I maintain my same stance today as I did then. Pittsburgh played a mostly atrocious game, and if Seattle had been a better team, they would have annihilated us. As it happened, they were not better, they did not capitalize when they had the chance, they did not make the 2-3 big plays they needed to, and Pittsburgh did. That adds up to a Steelers victory and bitter Seahawks fans stewing in their lattes. A good team overcomes adversity, including blown calls.

Overtime

Well they’ve finally done it Stan. The NFL, in its infinite wisdom, capitulated to a small and very vocal minority and changed the rules of overtime. I maintain the sudden death format that has been in place is fine. If you want to avoid overtime, play better in regulation time. If you lose the overtime coin toss, have your defense do its job. But some proponents to change, cough Peter King cough cough, do not think the coin toss format is fair, and are happy to trot out statistic after statistic proving such. I maintain my same argument, life itself is not fair and anyone who told you otherwise sold you some worthless magic beans.

So everyone is on the same page, here is the rules explained, thanks to Peter King. I know, shocking he’d be one of the first to spell it out, right?

”..both teams will get at least one possession in overtime, unless one team scores a touchdown on the first possession of overtime, or unless the defense scores a safety on the first possession of overtime. No touchdown means the game goes to sudden death on the second possession. There would still be a coin flip to start overtime, and the winner would still choose whether to take the ball or play defense on the first possession of the extra period, though most club people interviewed here this week believe the coin flip winner will always take the ball to start overtime.”

Here’s where it gets dumber, this format is only going to be used in the playoffs. So now coaches need to come up with two overtime strategies, one for the regular season and one for the post season. On top of that, the only time they’ll get to practice the new format is in the playoffs WHERE THE SEASON WILL BE ON THE LINE. This will cause far more trouble than it will be worth and I guarantee one team and fan base will be mightily ticked off.

But I’m not buying into it. Hopefully it will die a quick death and be shuttled off to bad idea land soon. And thankfully I’m not the only one who feels this way. Former player and excellent writer Ross Tucker had a nice counterpoint article regarding the new format which I think should be read by all proponents of the new rules. And they should keep in mind as they read this comes from someone who actually played the game.

My one hope is that the one game this new format comes into play is a Vikings playoff game, and somehow the new rules screw Brett Favre from advancing in the playoffs, when the old rules would have ensured him, and the team, victory. Ahhh that would be satisfying.

Idiot of the offseason

Now we couldn’t kick off the 2010 season without picking an idiot, right? Of course not! So, after scouring the NFL universe for several months, let’s take a look at our nominees for this years Idiot of the offseason.

Peter King Sports Illustrated – He got his wish, as his constant harping and politicking helped result in some moronic, convoluted rules for overtime, that only apply to the post season. Thank goodness because we cannot have another season where Brett Favre loses yet another opportunity to go to the Super Bowl, never mind he’s blown that chance twice all by himself. Regardless, Peter wins too much, and I’m sure he’ll show up here again, and he’s had a tough summer so I’ll give him a pass, for now.

Roger Goodell NFL commissioner – Between his inconsistent punishment for NFL offenders, both player and coach alike, and his dumb acquiescing to the overtime politicking, Roger seems intent on killing the golden goose by not making real headway with a new CBA and pushing an 18 game schedule. Oh, he’ll be a future winner, but not today.

DeMaurice Smith NFLPA head honcho – Also working hard with Goodell to kill the golden goose that is NFL labor peace. I’m sure Mr. Smith will be here soon, as well.

JaMarcus Russell former quarterback – All the talent in the world, all the money a person could want, fame and adulation thrown in. But no work ethic, no drive, no desire and now, no job and perhaps no freedom. Yeah, he’s pretty dumb, but the story is more sad than anything.

Albert Haynesworth overpaid new nose tackle – The big dope doesn’t know how good he’s got it, as he’s earned more in the last year than most towns will see in their lifetimes. And he bitched because his job responsibilities changed and he didn’t like it. Hey Albert, that happens to people everywhere, and 99.9% of them do not pull down 7 figures.

Nick Saban Alabama head emperor- I found it hilarious that Saban questioned the ethics and morality of sports agents. This comes from the same man that blatantly lied to LSU about the Dolphins job, and then blatantly lied to the Dolphins about the Alabama job. Not knowing when to stop digging the hole, Saban went further by banning NFL scouts from the practice facilities. Now, isn’t one of the ways college coaches get players to commit to their university by painting pictures of NFL stardom, and how their school can help said player get there? How will banning scouts accomplish that goal of recruiting? And more importantly, isn’t talking about big money, fame and stardom, when everyone knows most college players never even get into a training camp, the real definition of pimping?

The Winner: Ben Roethlisberger quarterback – Honestly, could anyone really have supplanted Big Douche for this spot? No. He clearly was the biggest idiot of the offseason. So for his childish, churlish, cad like behavior, at minimum, Ben you are an idiot.

Everything else

Finally, a little bit of mixed bag items to wrap this whole thing up.

Ex football player Maurice Clarett, after serving jail time, has returned to Ohio State to complete a degree. I like feel good stories and I hope Maurice makes something of his life.

Speaking of feel good stories, here’s a great one about a player making amends for bad behavior. Big Douche, I’m looking in your general direction.

Jerry Rice has made a foray into professional golf. How long until he wears a green masters jacket?

The Cowboys drafted a fellow by the name Scott Sicko. He’s already vaulted high onto my great names all star team. Let’s hope he makes the team.

Jason Whitlock had a great article about Jerry Jones and his crazy night out with some jagoff Cowboy fans. And I agree with Whitlock. When did we change from laughing at stupidity to taking it seriously?

"If I was as brilliant as this kid, I'd have taken the same opportunity as he did,'' – former Patriot Tedy Bruschi defending Myron Rolle’s decision to take a year out of football and instead study as a Rhodes scholar.

The sad part about Bruschi’s defense of Rolle is that there had to be a defense of Rolle’s decision in the first place.

Finally, I’d like to end with a small rant about future mock drafts. It’s bad enough that January through April is deluged by mock drafts by everyone and their uncle. But when I started seeing mock drafts for 2011, the DAY AFTER THE 2010 DRAFT, I snapped. I’m begging all of you draftnik idiots, please stop.

The absurdity of this is almost beyond comprehension. So many things come into play that will change in one year. Potential players graduation/injury/poor play will all affect draft slotting. Each team will have needs changed based upon how the 2010 season plays out. Players they thought were aces may retire, age, get injured, leave, or they might find they have their offensive guard or cornerback of the future already on their roster. On top of that, to be able to list who picks whom, you have to divine where each team will pick in the standings, who will go to the playoffs and who will win the Super Bowl, all three months before any team opens training camp for the season before the draft! Look I love to revel in the alternate universe that is football more than most, but at some point you gotta know when to say when. Do they have nothing better to do? Are they too worked up from the 2010 draft to just go cold turkey until January 2011? Are they lonely, desperate souls trying to cling to the only attention paid to them, by fanatics, in April of every year and now they cannot bear to go back to their obscure, sad existence without that adulation and faux love?

Peter Schrager of Fox Sports did a mock 2011 draft, and prefaced it with this statement: "I know, I know. A 2011 Mock Draft is absurd. Ridiculous. Hell, its borderline pathetic"

Then why may I ask are you doing one? I also love how he ranks the teams. Of course the Pats will find a way to win the division, Favre's Vikings will prevail this time (because overtime can't save the Saints now!) and the Steelers will apparently start 0-6. Seriously, pay me, not these nuts. I won't call the same thing every year despite evidence of the contrary, nor pick the same teams every year. It’s already been shown that team turnover in the playoffs is significant each year. I’ll go out on a limb, and call myself out when I’m wrong. And I promise no mock drafts and no Charger Super Bowl predictions! Now, where do I sign a contract?

That should sufficiently wrap things up before we get started with the really good stuff. We’ll have a few feature articles as the pre-season winds down before we dive into the NFL for week one. And in case anyone is wondering, in the final pool standings last year, the Lady K finished third and I finished fourth, both in the money. Boy that Wii is sweet! Stay tuned!