The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 9

Yeah, there was only one game last week. And yeah, you’ll hear about it here as well, but I promise to mix in some other interesting things, I swear. Just suck it up a little more, power through a little bit about the great Brett Favre, and then maybe we can all get on with our lives. Boy I hope so.


Opening Kickoff

In preparation for their game against the Patriots this week, Dolphin linebacker and all around great quote Joey Porter sounded off that Tom Brady has his own special rules, his natural hate for the Patriots and how he still feels their cheaters. Boy I love Joey.


The Way It Was

I think after all that has happened Brett Favre finally got how Packer fans felt. As he strode onto the field for the Vikings first offensive series, the boos cascaded down upon him. Now, Brett gave a little wink to the sidelines, but his face betrayed his true emotions. His face, at least to me, read yes, this hurts more than I imagined. It looked like at that moment, he got it. And that’s all I ever wanted. Now everyone can get some peace.

Brad Childress, are you a head coach or a drive thru worker? What was with that head set?

Wow, the 49ers gave the Colts a wild ride. A little too wild, since the Colts lost starting linebacker Tyjuan Hagler for the season with a ruptured biceps. That just sounds painful.

Neck beard, where did you go?

Ok, Derrick Mason, you had a point. You were absolutely held. But going off like a bomb at the referee, then continuing the nonsense on the sideline and walking back out onto the field and needing to be restrained by your coach? Get a grip. Bad calls happen, deal with them.

Rams safety James Butler made a crucial interception against the Lions in the end zone, proceeded to run out of the end zone, got bottled up, ran back into said end zone and was promptly sacked for a safety. Gee, I wonder why St. Louis stinks.

What goes up must go down. The Texans lost tight end Owen Daniels for the season. Unfortunately, Daniels was their second leading receiver. So much for that over .500 record dreams.

Obviously Miles Austin is taking this opportunity as a starting wide receiver seriously and focusing solely on the job at hand. Because that was the worst dunk over the crossbar I’ve ever seen. Come on Miles, even Spud Webb could get to the rim and dude was five foot nothing!

Forgive me, but I forgot where I read this and cannot give proper credit but it’s too good to pass up. The Raiders defense, on average, gives up 100 more yards rushing, per game, than the Steelers defense. Bwha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jay Cutler got into a jawing match during Sunday’s game with Cleveland defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. What, you can only talk smack to older, fat guys now Jay? What a d-bag.


The Steel Pit

With no game last week, the Steeler front has been rather quiet. Actually except for the calf injury Travis Kirschke is working through, and most likely will miss Monday night’s game because of, there really has been only one pertinent topic of discussion. That, of course, is the status of Ryan Clark for Monday night’s game in Denver.

In case you did not know, two years ago Clark and the Steelers played in Denver. The overexertion at high altitude combined the sickle cell trait and another ailment, caused Clark to become alarmingly sick and at points close to dying. Doctors were able to figure out what was wrong, but only after Clark lost over 30 pounds and had to have is spleen and gall bladder removed. Clark missed the remainder of the season, but has come back strong ever since.

Now, with no official word late into the week, by practice reports it was obvious the Steelers would not be playing Clark Monday night. To this I say great, but why was Clark’s participation even being debated?

Look, Ryan Clark is a fierce hitter and a tough competitor. His presence on the field makes the Steelers defense so much better. But no game is worth risking your life over. From the very beginning when focus shifted to this game, the team should have just said, we love Ryan and love having him on the field. But we love having him around even more so he’s going to get an extra week off.

Tyrone Carter, the Steelers backup safety, I hope has gone up to Ryan at some point and just said, Ryan don’t worry about this we got this. You relax and prepare for next week.

Most players that have been interviewed on the subject have said Clark should sit out, so they do understand. But the organization itself should have stated as much too, ended all goofy debate and whatever competitive edge they got from shrouding the situation from the media and the Broncos. Who cares in a situation like this? It’s not like he has turf toe, it’s far more serious than that.

I mean, if you look at this from just a football perspective, which would you rather have, Ryan Clark missing for one week or the remainder of the season, or perhaps longer?

But look at it in a human perspective, this man is a friend, teammate, husband and father. Are not those things more important? I understand the competitive nature of pro athletes does not allow them to want to take a day off, no matter the reason. But at some point common sense must come into play. And now is a good time for some common sense.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Bears paid tribute to late Hall of Fame running back Walter Payton at halftime of their game against Cleveland on Sunday. Ahhh, Sweetness.

Fox, in their infinite wisdom, provided fans with Favre Cam during Sunday’s game. If you logged onto the Fox Sports website, you could watch a camera trained on Brett for the entire game. Just how many times can you watch a man blow snot rockets and still find it entertaining?

From the thanks but what have you done for me lately file, the Seahawks released running back Edgerrin James while the Chargers waived wide receiver Chris Chambers. If NFL teams are cutting players, so much for that economic turnaround,

From the nature abhors a vacuum department, since TO has been quiet, other receivers have been spotted acting poorly, me first and prone to sideline histrionics. Last week, the Seahawks T.J. Houshmandzadeh and, believe it or not, Dallas’ Roy Williams have been pouting lately. Williams should shut up and be glad he’s on a winning team for once and as for T.J.? Who would have ever thought someone would longingly look back at their time with the Bungles?

In a Sports Illustrated poll of 296 NFL players, Hines Ward was voted the dirtiest player in the NFL. Apparently, making your blocks and hitting defenders is now considered dirty. Perhaps the Packer offensive line should start playing dirtier too.

The NFL concluded their investigation regarding Browns running back James Davis, and found no wrongdoing on the part of the Browns. Perhaps the NFL should turn that investigative eye toward the crime being perpetrated on Browns fans for the past 10 years.

Speaking of which, in an attempt to shake things up, the Browns fired general manager George Kokinis. So, to fix things, Cleveland fired a well respected team executive with a long track record of success after less than a year on the job. Yet Eric Mangini remains employed. I think the Miz was right; the Browns are the new Lions.

Now, reports say Mangini may have a word in picking the next general manager of the Browns. Seriously? How much worse can the Browns make this situation?

Cleveland fans, at their wits end, are trying to put together a protest where fans stay out of their seats for the opening of their next home game. Sorry guys, but this will not work, mainly because most people will think this typical for a Browns game.

Not to keep beating a dead horse, but Cleveland quarterback Derek Anderson’s passer rating for the season is. 36.2. Once again, that’s for the season, not last week.

I vaguely remember stating previously, perhaps near the end of last season, that I liked how Tom Cable had the Raiders playing tough, even if they were still losing. Apparently, he plays tough off the field too. And yes, in this mea culpa I will state I feel like an ass for previously saying that. But hey, I didn’t know the guy or investigate his past. What’s the Raiders’ excuse? But seriously, how is this guy still employed, and violence is a pattern, how is there insufficient evidence that he broke his assistant’s jaw?

In further Raider pathetic news, former tight end Jeremy Brigham is accused of beating on the father, and ironically his former assistant, of one of the players on the pee wee league football team he coaches. I’m sure I’m not the only one that as soon as I saw Raiders in the article, I went, yeah that makes sense. At this point, if you heard that Al Davis had practice squad players killed and bathed in their blood, would you be shocked? Me either.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Dang, I won, and big! Could this be a turnaround? Could it? Could I become kid comeback? Win the last 8 games, sneak into the playoffs, reek havoc and walk away as champion? Dare I dream? Dare I hope?

Who am I up against this week? Who’s my first victim on the comeback tour? Let’s see my opponent has Tom Brady, Hines Ward and the Steelers defense….

Hmmmm. Ok, postpone the celebration. The comeback starts NEXT week.


Upon Further Review

Bad teams always seem to have a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint it may be. That maybe one thing will turn it all around, a new coach, a new player, some new mojo, something. Fans grab that one thing, hold it dear and care for it as their hopes and dreams of watching their team hoist a championship trophy rest with that one thing. Now, some fans are realistic and know their team may never be great, but that one thing can always provide hope and at least a wonderful dream.

But I wonder at this point, what hook of hope do Redskins fans have to hang their hat on? I believe the Redskins may be the worst team, with Dan Snyder the worst owner, in sports.

I know you could have an argument for other owners, including Al Davis of the Raiders. But at least there was a point when Davis was aware, alive and built a winner. Dan Snyder has never done that, and in my humble opinion never will. And at least Raider fans can hope for the day the grim reaper comes for Al, although it’s looking more and more that Davis may never die. But hope still abounds. What hope do Redskin fans have?

Fans at this point are using new ownership as their only beacon of light. But Snyder is a relatively young man in seemingly good health. Time has nothing on him right now. And why would he sell the team? While the product has become increasingly worse, the value of the franchise has only gone up. How does that even happen?

On the field, fans have close to no hope. Snyder and his deep pockets run the team like a fantasy football GM on speed, throwing money around for middling talent and never learning a lesson from past mistakes. Sure, they have some incredible talent, but none of it seems to make a difference in the outcome of games.

Now, this hurts, but the most perplexing and maddening is how Snyder keeps heaping insult on top of all of this. Here is a very brief list of some of the insults slung by Snyder

- The constant revolving door at head coach, which will soon claim another victim. This one will be ousted after hiring a bingo calling consultant to help out. Just saying that still boggles the mind.

- In the arguably worst move, Snyder felt justified in suing fans who could not pay for his absurdly priced season tickets for a sub par product. Way to garner fan support in a tough economy Dan.

- Snyder banned fan signs from FedEx Field, presumably to stop seeing himself trashed on national television.

- He also banned brown paper bags. Really?

- The team’s tailgating policy and permissions were revised, without warning to fans. Yes, brilliant move there Dan. Don’t allow fans to find enjoyment, rally together and hopefully get drunk enough to forget about the crappy team before the game. Keep them sober and surly.

- Snyder isn’t completely dumb. He at least does understand a drunken fan is a forgetful fan. He just wants to control how they consume, even if it’s in the bathroom.

- Tired of bad press, Snyder has taken criticism of his team to an infantile level, establishing a war against the Washington Post. Yup, it’s their fault you suck.

- Snyder enjoys palling around with Tom Cruise. Not that such a thing directly affects the fortunes of a team, but does it make you feel good that your owner enjoys the company of a nut?

- Even former players are blasting the team.

In what may be the most bizarre move yet, Snyder stated recently that the team has let everyone down. The team has let people down? Really Dan?

I wish I had an answer for Redskin fans, something that could be said to help them and give them hope. All I can say is, you know there are some other pretty good teams out there who are always happy to have a few good fans.


He Said He Said

''What I've done here speaks for itself,'' Favre said. ''What I was part of was awesome. That will never change.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Now was that so hard to say something nice to Packer fans Brett?

"The NFL sort of has this blanket denial or minimizing of the fact that there may be this link [between playing football and brain injuries later in life]. And it sort of reminds me of the tobacco companies pre-nineties when they kept saying, 'Oh, there's no link between smoking and damage to your health.’ " - Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-California.), to Commissioner Roger Goodell Wednesday during his appearance before the House Judiciary Committee in Washington.

I find it a shame that this issue has dragged on so long that a House Judiciary Committee has become involved. If Goodell does not make some serious changes, and soon, this will get much worse before it gets better. If it ever does.

"This one will hurt for a couple of days, physically and mentally.'' Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers

Aaron, just head out to the parking lot, down a brat and a beer with the Packer faithful and commiserate together. Heck I bet you could find at least 5 people that would give you better protection on the line, and 10 that could put together a better game plan.

"Just noticed this on my Packers credential: It's Green Bay home game No. 4. Of course it is.'' – Los Angeles Times’ Sam Farmer Twitting from Lambeau Field Sunday.

Sam, no, it’s not game number 4. It’s game number Favre. Get it right.

"I feel bad for the fans. I feel sorry for the fans, and we're very, very appreciative of our loyal fan base. We just feel terrible. We're disappointed. We're embarrassed, and we hope to get it going soon." – Redskins owner Dan Snyder

Is this the same fans you treat worse than serfs? Oddly enough, this was not said with any hint of irony or acknowledgement that his actions alone are what prompted said quote. Dan you say self deluded? I knew you could!

“I don’t know why people want so many details about someone else’s life. I’m not sharing.” Bills linebacker Keith Ellison talking about Twitter.

Welcome Keith, to my pantheon of favorite players.

“How can I be the dirtiest player on the field, a little old wideout with no speed? I don’t know whether to be happy or mad about it?” – Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward on being voted the NFL’s dirtiest player in a Sports Illustrated poll.

Since Hines was smiling when he said this, I think the answer is happy.

“Other guys are such pansies now. When I play a guy like (Ward), I vote for that guy to go to the Pro Bowl.” Steelers’ safety Ryan Clark in response to the Sports Illustrated poll.

Hear hear, Ryan, hear hear.

"They're a great team. They'll probably contend for the Super Bowl. They have a tremendous offense, great running backs, a great quarterback, a great tight end. They are stacked across the board. I'm serious. They are great." - New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott on the Miami Dolphins

"I'm serious." – Scott, when asked if being sarcastic regarding his previous comment.

"My job is to report on what happens in the NFL. On Sunday, the story of the day in the NFL was the all-time passing leader's return to the place where he parted so bitterly in 2008. Favre played well for the second time this year against the Packers under pressurized circumstances. I wrote about it. I'm not kneeling at his feet. I'm reporting the story of the day in the NFL, interviewing the player, like him or not, who is a polarizing figure.” – SI.com’s Peter King on criticism of his Favre-centric column on Monday.

Excellent justification and I agree he was the story of the day. But come on, there’s reporting, and then there’s constant fawning and hero worship. And Peter, please lodge this somewhere in your frontal lobes, most people while recognizing how special a player Favre is, are tired of him.

“I respectfully disagree that rushing, and I mean, Fox sprinted off the Favre game, to the last two minutes of a game that was already decided (it was a 13-point game) that was being shown to about 6 percent of the country was the right idea.” – SI.com’s Peter King, responding to a readers comments that Fox was right to leave the Vikings/Packers game.

Come on Peter, we all know you were just upset you weren’t able to gaze longer at Favre. As if 3 hours glued to Favre Cam wasn’t enough for you.


Idiot of the week

Did everyone see this week’s winner on display in Green Bay this week? The camera had some great shots of him, ensconced in his own personal hell sweating, staring and fretting over defensive shifts and offensive flops. You guessed it; this week’s winner is Packers general Ted Thompson.

Oh I’ve said often blame for the Packer/Favre divorce should be spread equally, and Thompson very much deserves a heaping portion of the blame. Favre has been not so subtle with his dislike of Thompson, and how he feels Ted drove him out of town. I’m not going to debate about who’s right or wrong. To paraphrase an old saying, there are three sides to every story, one side, the other and the truth.

But Ted’s actions to shed Favre, no matter the reasoning, created an uncomfortable situation for the team and an unbearable situation for fans. What will Ted do if the Vikings do indeed win a Super Bowl with Brett under center? Obviously Favre still has the talent; if only Ted had surrounded him with some then this would be the Packers sitting at a sweet 7-1 and in control of the division. Many people have minimized Favre’s contributions by saying if you switched Favre and Aaron Rodgers, the game would have turned out the same. Ok, what does that mean? It means the Packer offense is terrible except for Rodgers.

So, for ticking off the face of the franchise to the point he became obsessed with revenge, shipping out said face of the franchise for a handful of magic beans, ill equipping his replacement to do proper battle and lead the franchise back to glory, and confusing, alienating and tearing apart the fan base that so loyally supports the team, Ted Thompson you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bills – In addition to having their training room double as a set for Trauma, Buffalo will also search for TO, and who has been missing since training camp.

Browns – Unfortunately, Browns players will be shocked to discover that this is not the merciful end of the season, and they will have to report back next week for additional games. Although, not as shocked as Browns fans will be when they learn there’s more torture, I mean games, to come.

Vikings –Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre.

Jets – Who feels like a Coney Island frank?

Raiders – See Browns bye week.

Rams – See Raiders bye week.


On Tap This Week

Ok, I didn’t go 0-13. However….

You know those weeks where you feel ok about your picks, and then the first play you watch sets the tone for the remainder of the day? Yeah, that’s what happened. As soon as I watched Kyle Orton get pounded on the Broncos first play, I knew it was going to be a long day. I was not wrong.

Last week: 7-6
Season to date: 84-32

I went against my first instincts and changed picks at the last minute. Suffice to say, I lost all those I changed. Dumb dumb dumb. Somehow, I let Sherman Lewis call my picks. Not this week, no way.

Sunday

Baltimore (4-3) at Cincinnati (5-2)

You think Ray Lewis doesn’t remember last time these two teams played? I do. I also know Marvin Lewis is 1-4-1 coming out of a bye week as the Bungles head coach.

Ravens over Bungles

Houston (5-3) at Indianapolis (7-0)

Wow, look Houston is two games above .500 for the first time in their history. Wow, look, Indianapolis is starting two rookies at corner. Could Houston go three games above?

Texans over Colts

Green Bay (4-3) at Tampa Bay (0-7)

Well, Aaron Rodgers and Cheese heads can take solace this week in the fact that no only does Tampa Bay not have Brett Favre, they also have no pass rush.

Packers over Buccaneers

Arizona (4-3) at Chicago (4-3)

Ugh. I hate the Cardinals. Really guys, pick a side, are you good and explosive or terrible and mistake prone? Just pick one, that’s all.

Bears over Cardinals

Miami (3-4) at New England (5-2)

Oooh, look out for the potent Wildcat! Yeah, if not for Ted Ginn’s theatrics on kick returns, Miami would have had bumpkis last week. You think with an extra week to prepare Bill Belichick won’t find a way to get better kickoff coverage? Sorry Joey.

Patriots over Dolphins

Kansas City (1-6) at Jacksonville (3-4)

I suppose someone must win.

Jaguars over Chiefs

Washington (2-5) at Atlanta (4-3)

Yeah right. I wouldn’t take Washington now if it was a falling down contest.

Falcons over Redskins

Carolina (3-4) at New Orleans (7-0)

Now, as soon as Carolina gets behind they’ll revert to the pass. Once that happens, Darren Sharper will have a lovely day.

Saints over Panthers

Detroit (1-6) at Seattle (2-5)

Hmmm, poo sandwich or poo casserole? I’ll take the sandwich; I can finish that one faster.

Seahawks over Lions

Tennessee (1-6) at San Francisco (3-4)

Eh, I’ll take a chance and go Titans two weeks in a row. After all, Chris Johnson is a man possessed.

Titans over 49ers

San Diego (4-3) at New York Giants (5-3)

The Giants have a horrible secondary and Eli Manning is reverting to Peyton’s little brother. Their bye week is one week too late. Heaven help me I’m backing Norv Turner on the road…

Chargers over Giants

Dallas (5-2) at Philadelphia (5-2)

Oh we have a good one here. A revitalized Cowboys team against an explosive Eagles team with the division lead on the line. I like both teams, but who have the Cowboys played? I gotta go with the Birds.

Eagles over Cowboys

Monday

Pittsburgh (5-2) at Denver (6-1)

“and most of all, beware of the Neck Beard.” – Bill Simmons. Whoa wait a minute there Bill. No one has touted the wonders of the Neck Beard more than I, so I know when to truly be aware of it. And this week, it will be trimmed.

Steelers over Broncos