The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 7

Steelers’ kicker Jeff Reed was arrested outside a North Shore bar in Pittsburgh Sunday night after the game and issued a citation for simple assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. This all came to pass because teammate Matt Spaeth was caught by police in a parking lot for public urination, and when police went to issue Spaeth a citation, Reed jumped out of the vehicle they were riding and decided to intervene. Not only are kickers a weird breed, so are those with whom they socialize. That’s two incidents this year for Jeff. Either he may have a problem, or he just wants to make it as difficult as possible to get that new deal from the Steelers.

Opening Kickoff

The St. Louis Rams have lost 16 straight games. If they knock out the rest of the season, that will put them in a tie with the expansion Buccaneers for the worst losing streak of all time. This is more exciting than the Lions reaching the pinnacle of single season putridity last year. Go Rams!


The Way It Was

How do you lose, at home, against the Bills who had to run with Ryan Fitzpatrick? How?

Last week Giant Antonio Pierce called the game New York played against the Raiders an uninspired scrimmage. I wonder how he felt as Drew Brees treated his defense like a practice squad.

Speaking of the Raiders, the best bird on the field in Oakland was the pigeon that flew down the field on kickoff coverage. And Eagles fans knew it too.

Jets, you’re almost dead to me. Keep it up and you’ll be vacationing with the Cowboys in my dog house.

It’s going to be difficult getting out of said doghouse now when their defense lost nose tackle Kris Jenkins for the season with an ACL tear. Now that a few engines have flamed out, can Rex Ryan keep the Jets from nose-diving? If not, I bet the post game press conferences will be uber entertaining.

Can we cease and desist with the “Sanchize” nonsense? How about we let the boy play a season with some success before anointing him the next Namath? Although, at least no one labeled him with some dumb nickname like M-Sanz.

I’m not sure which I find more detestable, Tom Brady’s smug self satisfied attitude after humiliating an opponent or his infantile, and profanity-laced sideline tirades when the smallest thing does not go his way. But I’m getting really tired of both, as well as the announcers and media members who make excuses or apologize for both. If they won’t say it, I will. Brady is an ass. You don’t see Peyton Manning behaving like that week in and week out.

And speaking of detestable, Mr. Bill Belichick! Oh you can call it what you want, but you ran up the score, again, against an overmatched opponent. And why was Brady playing at all in the second half of that game? Haven’t you learned how much it hurts when you play with fire already Bill?

Yeah, it sure looked like Tennessee quit during that game. Well, maybe not Chris Johnson.

Here’s a crazy stat from that game. The Patriots amassed 432 yards of passing. The Titans amassed -7 yards on 14 attempts. And I thought Derek Anderson’s 2-17 for 23 yards and an interception against the Bills was the pinnacle of ineptitude.

Now do you believe in the power of the neck beard? Now do you see of what I’ve been speaking of for years? I know several million Bronco fans do.

When the Broncos and Bears made their big trade earlier this year, did Denver also get Devin Hester’s mojo? Because it certainly looked like Eddie Royal had it Monday night.

Titans’ owner Bud Adams feels coaching is part of Tennessee’s problem and made no promises regarding the future of Jeff Fisher


The Steel Pit

Steelers 27 – Browns 14

The score in no way reflected how little the Browns were actually in this game. If it weren’t for Joshua Cribbs capitalizing on a special teams breakdown, the score wouldn’t even have been that close. Pittsburgh pounded the Browns into submission for the 12th straight time, like we all figured. A few highlights…

Hines Ward racked up another 100 yard receiving game and now leads the league in yardage. Not bad for a 33 year old man with no ACL.

Heath Miller had a spectacular touchdown catch to open the scoring and a darned good day overall.

Troy Polamalu returned to action and promptly picked off Cribbs running a wild cat, although he did tweak his healing knee in the process.

Big Ben tossed the ball for 417 yards and two touchdowns. Wow, it feels wonderful to have a quarterback who can impose his will upon an opposing team. I bet this is how Colts fans feel all the time.

The defense played inspired, forcing multiple turnovers and sacking Anderson. Plus, they held together better in the 4th quarter. Things may be coming together for LeBeau’s charges. Well, I hope at least.

Those were the good things. Now for the weird and bizarre, of which there was plenty.

Start with Solomon Wilcots, who kept calling Rashard Mendenhall Mendinghall throughout the game. At one point he started pronouncing it correctly, then reverted right back to Mendinghall. Seriously, what kind of preparation does he put into his pregame work?

Hines Ward had a touchdown taken away because he fumbled the ball after he rolled out of the end zone. Yeah, the explanation made sense, but it still felt stupid.

Both teams in the third quarter went through the Bermuda Triangle and came out with a severe case of fumble-itis, with both teams turning the ball over on five consecutive possessions.

But that all paled to the disaster that was officiating. Walt Anderson and his crew had, shall we say, a rough day. Their “highlights”…

Cleveland linebacker David Bowens was flagged for “forcibly taking the quarterback to the ground." I guess you cannot just rough the passer.

Cleveland stuffed Pittsburgh on a 4th and 1, which measurements clearly showed. Yet Anderson signaled Pittsburgh 1st down. Even a total homer as me felt the Browns got jobbed.

At the end of the 3rd quarter, Anderson signaled over the field mic that the game had reached the end of the 1st quarter.

When Ryan Clark intercepted Anderson at the goal line, the officials first ruled Steelers ball at the 20. Then they reversed it, saying it would be Steelers ball at the 1 yard line and that Clark didn’t actually go into the end zone due to “interception momentum”. You got me on that one as well. Suffice to say, yes, I still believe the NFL needs to have full time referees. And I think Browns fans would probably sign my petition if I had one.

Despite everything, I was thoroughly entertained, pleased with the outcome and happy to see a great performance. Now, can they do it again this week against an opponent who is, shall we say, far from a doormat? Cross your fingers kids, because we’re about to guest star in As The Favre Turns!


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

In a very attention-grabbing interview, former Browns great (boy that almost made my copy of Word short circuit) Bernie Kosar stated that when the new Browns were starting to be formed, he pushed the new owner and general manager to give Bill Belichick a second opportunity. That massive, horrific sound you heard was the entire city of Cleveland vomiting upon reading how Kosar was laughed at for such a suggestion and thinking of what might have been.

Hey, happy days are ahead in Oakland! Tom Cable will not face charges of assault. If this were any other team, people would be mortified and shocked. But when you hear it’s about Oakland, you kind of just shrug and think, yeah that makes sense.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill this week to allow construction of a new NFL stadium in the Los Angeles stadium. It would seem things are finally falling into place for the return of the NFL in LA. You know, except for the actual team.

The Bears inked Jay Cutler to a two year contract extension, locking in the future yacht club denizen through 2013 while granting him roughly $20 million in guaranteed wages. Was this really that big of a priority to do it 5 games into his Bears career? And has he really proven he’s worth that kind of money yet? And people wonder why the Bears never have a good quarterback situation.

Now here are stories you like to hear. Chad Ochocinco, to help avoid a blackout in Cincinnati, teamed up with Motorola to purchase all the unsold game tickets for last week’s match up with the Texans. Kudos to Chad for the effort, although afterward you think that effort was a colossal waste of money. But I’m curious about something. I know times are tough right now, but Cincinnati was really facing a blackout? I mean, the team has stunk for years, but this season going into the game they were 4-1 and leading the division. Shouldn’t that bring the fans out, a chance to see your team successful? And it’s not like it’s trying to get a ticket for a Lakers game, this is the Bungles. Isn’t top price like $1.50 each?

While this is not NFL related, I did find this little snippet of information interesting. The NBA is now selling ad space on practice jerseys. Sure they’re desperate for money, obviously. But the question must be asked; who exactly will be seeing these ads other than the rest of the players and team personnel? Will they also sell tickets to practice? Please, let’s all work together to make sure Jerry Jones doesn’t find out about this.

The Redskins “asked” Jim Zorn to relinquish his play calling duties, claiming that with being head coach, quarterbacks coach and creating offensive game plans, calling the plays during the game is just one task too much. Those duties have now been passed to the newly hired Sherman Lewis. Lewis, until a few weeks ago when Dan Snyder came calling, was calling bingo games at a Detroit senior center. But to reassure all of us, the Redskins did say that Zorn will keep his job through the end of the season. Is there any conceivable way this ends well for anyone?


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

You know what I really love about fantasy football? I love starting out hot during the first half of games, then coming out of halftime and watching not one point accumulate for hours.

Ok, I know I said last week I expected to lose. But I had some hope when I saw my opponent started three players on their bye week. Obviously, he was not paying attention. You know what happened? I still lost! Of course, all of his players that did play scored in the double digits. Couple that with the fact that as a bye week replacement I started Mark “who do I throw too again” Sanchez who managed to complete half as many passes to the Bills (5 interception) as to Jets (10 for 29 overall). If he just had 0 points, I would have won. 0. I didn’t even need him to account for 1 point. Instead, all he did was take them away.

So I learned this week that you can plan, and study, and research and think deeply and look ahead for good match ups and still lose. And luck, obviously, has something to do with it.

But perhaps I need to face a fact. I might not be very good at this.


Upon Further Review

Panthers’ cornerback Dante Wesley was suspended for this Sunday’s game after leveling Tampa Bay’s Clifton Smith last week during a punt. Smith left the game with a concussion and Wesley was ejected. I imagine Dante will have more time on his hands coming up to work on his people skills when Roger Goodell takes a look at the tape.

Now, before I go on let’s set a few things in stone. First, Wesley’s hit was vicious; he led with his head, left his feet and completely aimed at clocking an unprepared and defenseless player. Smith was waiting to receive the punt and Wesley clearly hit him well before the ball arrived, which is an obvious violation. Tossing him from the game and suspending him are the right moves, especially if the NFL wants to remain serious in their attempts in minimizing dangerous hits and player injuries.

Now, I’m willing to give Wesley the benefit of the doubt that he is not a monster; that perhaps his intentions were merely to hit Smith hard enough to dislodge the ball when he caught it and force a turnover. In the process however he miscalculated the ball’s arrival and in his fervor to make the hit he lost his senses when he left his feet. Considering how football is played, does not such a scenario make almost perfect sense? Sure. Now, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punished, but it does explain the situation better.

However, Wesley’s actions or intentions are not the issue today. The issue this situation brings up is a subject that really bugs me, and that is announcers, press, and related media personnel using this play and others like it to decry the violence in the NFL.

First, most of those who make their living following the league have never played in it. So I always find it slightly bothersome when they break out a soap box to make a sanctimonious stand against the violent nature of the game. Yeah, Wesley’s actions were deplorable, but do we really need some 50 year old twit whose lifetime athletic highlight is three trips to the buffet without getting winded looking down his nose at a player for playing rough with others.

For that matter, I find it an extra burr in my saddle when former players turned broadcasters join in the cacophony turning a player into a pariah for his violent play. These gentlemen should know better because they’ve been there. They know what it’s like to be on that field and know how fast things can happen. I’m sure all of them have been in a situation where the intensity of the game, the speed of the action and the skills learned over a lifetime of playing football that have now turned to instinct all combined and they ended up laying a hit or doing something that could have been constituted as over the line. They have been in those trenches, had those experiences and should know better what most likely occurred rather than happily hang one of their own out to dry because of a massive mental breakdown.

Second, let’s face the truth here; football by its very nature is a violent game. It’s one of its biggest, if not biggest, drawing points. One of the reasons we tune in each week is to see someone get smacked so hard they lose their lunch. I mean for Pete’s sake ESPN has a segment called Jacked Up in which they show some of the weeks hardest hits and biggest collisions. Obviously, this aspect of football sells and we are buying it like houses before the bubble burst.

Everyone wants to see more of it, loves watching these strong, fast athletes pound into one another. Fans love to watch, owners love to sell, and networks reap the benefits by bringing it to all of us. Call it a love affair with controlled chaos, but the violence in the game sells. No one thinks of the consequences, though, until someone is laid out prone on the turf. Then, suddenly, that same violence that was heralded a few plays before is now evil and appalling.

And third, even if Wesley’s actions were intentional, that kind of behavior is more the exception than the norm in today’s NFL. However, in the past actions taken to intentionally injure were far more prevalent. If you’ve ever watched an NFL Films program you know his to be true. Heck, some of those old Raiders players still brag about taking guys out. But sensibilities changed and so did how players played the game. If anything, how the league, teams, coaches and players have adapted and moved away from questionable behavior while increasing the quality of play should be commended. But despite those positive changes, the violent nature always remained. And if that nature remains so will the chance that someone may take things too far.

This self righteous and disingenuous stance regarding violence is at best annoying. At worst it is a two faced stance taken by ill-informed people with no real original opinions looking to jump on the latest bandwagon issue for face time and to cull easy favor on an issue that is easy to support. On top of that, they contain no common sense that by taking such a stand, they spit at the master whom they serve. If these people are truly disgusted by the violence of the game, and deeply believe that any player who would commit such an act must be evil incarnate and should be shunned from society, then perhaps it’s time for them to find a new line of work. If you hate so an aspect of the game that has been at the core of the sport since it’s inception, then move on. Cover dog shows, baseball, tennis, anything else that does not include violence at its core. You will be much happier in the long run, and the rest of us will be as well by not having to suffer through another of your long winded pious rants.

However, if you enjoy the violence of the game, revel in it like everyone else and promote it until someone steps too far across the line; then shut up. Because all you do when you complain about the violent nature of football after someone goes too far is look like an ungrateful spoiled brat for ignoring what the NFL provides you as far as making a living and ignorant for so casually throwing a player to the wolves and raking a staple of the game over the coals.

The best way to avoid completely this maelstrom of banality, though, would be for players to take half a second to think before they act in potentially questionable situations. I’m sure this weekend Dante Wesley will be doing plenty of that and about how he’ll handle himself when he gets back on the field. But let me leave this subject with one question that every pompous pundit should have asked before they opened their pie holes. If Smith had caught the ball before Wesley popped him, would this have been just as big an issue, or just another clip on Sports Center?


He Said He Said

''I saw all the Cleveland guys arguing and yelling, so it was, well, the referee knows the rules better than I do. If he says first down, it's a first down.'' – Steelers tackle Max Starks talking of the controversial first down call during the Steelers/Browns clash.

It was luck coupled with zebra stupidity. But I shant complain too heavily.

''He made the call; you have to live with it. I don't know if there was (an explanation). He just said first down and that's it.'' – Browns linebacker David Bowens.

Oh there was an explanation.

''If you shot that angle from the other side, it might actually look like it's further in advance of the stake of what it was.” – Referee Walt Anderson

Uh huh, never mind the people standing right there could see it was not a first down, or that the camera was almost looking down the line.

''We lost. I could've had 2 yards. We lost the game.'' – Jets running back Thomas Jones

Very magnanimous from a man whose career day was completely obliterated by multiple boneheaded plays.

"I just gave that team the win.'' - Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez

Gee, you think so?

“It is a mark of how good Ben Roethlisberger is that he threw for 417 yards, with two touchdowns, and no one noticed. It's becoming routine.” – SI.com’s Peter King

No Peter, no one noticed because his last name is not Brady, Manning, Cutler or Favre.

“The Ravens are not the same on defense this year.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Thank you! I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed.

"I've been playing sports since I was 8 years old, and never in any sport have I experienced anything like this.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck

Don’t worry Keith the Redskins started a support group a few years ago for teams that Belichick treated like a bitch. But I should warn you once again. Never disrespect the Terrible Towel.

“I just wanted to feel like a winner.” – Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, after donning a Peyton Manning jersey during a charity event.

I’ll give Jeff this; at least he’s maintained his sense of humor.

"My comfort level is somewhere between 1 and 10. It's not at 10." – Redskins head coach Jim Zorn

Understatement of the year.


Idiot of the week

Hmmm, good week this was, plenty of idiots abounded throughout the NFL. So who should we choose? Perhaps Mark Sanchez would be the perfect choice? No, the kid did play boneheaded, but hey he is a rookie and every rookie has at least one of those meltdown games. How about the referees at the Steelers/Browns game? Oh, they deserve it, but perhaps they too just had one of those games. Maybe Dan Snyder for his increasingly poor track record is the choice? Oh, he’s an idiot, but let’s save him for another week.

This week I would prefer to go with an old favorite, Andy Reid. Yes, losing to lowly Oakland is terrible and justification enough, but it’s how he did it. He wasted all of his timeouts while there was still over 4 minutes left in the first half, managed the clock terribly at the end of the first half and showed no backbone every time the Eagles were deep in the Raiders red zone, settling for field goals instead of going for the big score.

All those were plenty bad, but the worst, and what really pushed him over the top, was his game plan. Reid has two excellent running backs in Brian Westbrook and LeSean McCoy. Both are versatile and explosive. The Raiders have the 30th ranked run defense in the NFL, meaning only two teams are worse at stopping the run. With these factors in place you would think this would be slam dunk obvious what he should do, right? Wrong. Reid only called a total of 14 running plays the entire game, despite the fact that at no point was the game so far out of reach that he needed to rely solely on the pass to attempt to catch up.

So Andy, for still being unaware of how to use timeouts efficiently and manage the clock wisely despite over 10 years of head coaching experience, showing no boldness in scoring situations and not fully utilizing all the weapons at your disposal against an inferior opponent, you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Ravens – I imagine heaping more blame upon Steve Hauschka for losing the Minnesota game while making more excuses and apologies for a rapidly declining defense. But who cares?

Broncos – Colorado is joyously basking in the warmth and wonder of the Neck Beard, whilst wondering who this Jay Cutler character is that Chicago fans seem to love.

Lions – Saying their prayers and giving thanks that they don’t play for the Rams.

Jaguars – My guess is trying to find a way to sign Tim Tebow without having to deal with pesky details like college eligibility or the draft, and do it preferably before next week.

Seahawks – Jim Mora Jr. keeps hearing his father’s words ringing in his head…”Playoffs!?! Don’t talk about playoffs!”

Titans – I’d say finding a way to turn things around, but it would seem some players are too busy getting worked up in a ridiculous lather regarding Fisher’s “winner” joke. That will galvanize everyone into becoming winners again.


On Tap This Week

So, did my goofy pick of Kansas City pay off? You know it did, but how big?

Last week: 11-3
Season to date: 67-23

That big! Even better? I won the week and am right at the top with the Lady K for the overall lead. That’s right kids, look out because we’re both gonna run away with it. Thank you Mr. Cowboy, I’ll take it under advisement, hit it again.

Sunday

San Diego (2-3) at Kansas City (1-5)

Geez, Norv Turner can outcoach Todd Haley right? Right?

Chargers over Chiefs

Minnesota (6-0) at Pittsburgh (4-2)

Talk about a real test for the Pittsburgh defense. If they are finding their groove, they need it right now. They do not call Adrian Peterson All Day for nothing. Perhaps Mr. Woodley and Mr. Harrison can repeatedly introduce Mr. Favre to the Heinz Field turf. Yes, I’d like that.

Steelers over Vikings

Indianapolis (5-0) at St. Louis (0-6)

Oh please. Peyton will be watching highlights on his Sony HD while ordering Sunday Ticket with his MasterCard before halftime.

Colts over Rams

New England (4-2) at Tampa Bay (0-6)

London Baby! The NFL’s third England game, and this year it seems no one really is feeling the hoopla. Probably because this game is going to be over before the teams actually take the pitch. I’d like to say karma will smite Belichick for keeping Brady in the game at all in the second half, and smite Brady altogether for smirking like the douche bag he is afterwards. But these guys seem to skirt karma in weird ways unless it’s a huge payback. Well, maybe their luggage will get lost in Heathrow airport.

Patriots over Buccaneers

San Francisco (3-2) at Houston (3-3)

This is called, the game which the NFL universe forgot.

Texans over 49ers

Green Bay (3-2) at Cleveland (1-5)

Hamm, I feel like some cheese.

Packers over Browns

Buffalo (2-4) at Carolina (2-3)

Eh. I mean really, you feel good about Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road?

Panthers over Bills

New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland (2-4)

Ok, Rex and company I’m giving you just one more chance. Screw me again and you’re officially dead to me.

Jets over Raiders

Atlanta (4-1) at Dallas (3-2)

Ok, let’s be honest here Atlanta is the better team. But surely Dallas can pull out a win at home when they’ve had two weeks to rest and prepare, right? Right?

Cowboys over Falcons

New Orleans (5-0) at Miami (2-3)

I told you, I’m riding this Big Easy train until it derails. I see no need to hop off now. Next stop, beautiful Miami.

Saints over Dolphins

Chicago (3-2) at Cincinnati (4-2)

I wonder if Jay Cutler will go pass happy on the Bungles like Schaub did last week….

Bears over Bungles

Arizona (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)

I’m back and forth on this one, since Arizona seems to be rounding into form a bit. But I just get a feeling the Giants are going to be making a point that last week was an aberration, and Warner and company are going to be exhibit A in that demonstration.

Giants over Cardinals

Monday

Philadelphia (3-2) at Washington (2-4)

It’s difficult to feel good about a team that could muster absolutely nothing against the Raiders. But how can you feel good about a team riding a dookie coated waterslide?

Eagles over Redskins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 6

I looked at the scores of all the games throughout the day last Sunday. I noticed that at 3:15 remaining in the 1st quarter of the Giants/Raiders debacle the score was already Giants 14 – Raiders 0. I wrote down at that moment game over. I think I probably could have called that at 15:00 remaining in the 1st quarter, though. Perhaps the NFL should consider a mercy rule for future Raider games; you know to save some face for the remaining Raider fans.


Opening Kickoff

A 7 year old boy playing backyard football was tackled by a deer. The deer was immediately given a three year contract by the Raiders because Al Davis loved his speed.


The Way It Was

Ice Cube may be the most courageous man on planet Earth. To go on a nationally televised NFL pregame show and openly admit to being the worlds #1 Raiders fan? Courage at it’s finest my friends.

Just when I thought Atlanta had no defense, suddenly they find one. And Matt Ryan found his touch. Man, never underestimate a team coming off the bye. Shame on me.

I do like what Singletary is doing in San Francisco, but he just doesn’t have the horses quite yet. When he does, look out.

Gregg Easterbrook’s cold coach theory holds true again. In a freezing Denver, Josh McDaniels sported a sweatshirt, while Bill Belichick bundled up in a thick parka. The results were a predictable Bronco win.

Ok, it would seem that McDaniels might actually know what he’s doing. Interesting theory, I wonder if it will last.

My favorite part of this game, one I liked almost as much as Denver’s throwback uniforms made me want to vomit, was the Broncos beautiful 98 yard drive to tie the game and send the contest into overtime. Just fabulous execution and effort. They may not have Cutler’s big arm, but they have the Neck Beard.

Now I’ve wondered from the beginning why everyone has to hate on Kyle Orton. People spoke as though the Broncos traded John Elway for Joe Pisarcik. But look at their career records. While Cutler has this big arm and all this “potential”, all Orton has ever done, on an offensively challenged team before this year, is win football games.

Career Record (through week 5 of 2009)

Kyle Orton 26 - 12

Jay Cutler 20 - 22

Now, I bet I can think of no less than 10 teams that would give an eye tooth to have a smart, efficient quarterback that can inspire his teammates and make a few big plays while consistently winning games on their team. Heck, half of the AFC West would give more than that. All you doubters of the Neck Beard, never ever doubt its power again. Remember, I’ve touted it here for years, because I believe.

So the Broncos unleashed their new offensive package based on the Wildcat, called of course the Wild Horses. Yeesh. What’s next, the Ravens unleashing the wild bird droppings or the Cowboys revealing the wild cow pies?

You know why people do not respect kickers? Because they flop to draw a flag at any hint of contact and it causes real players who take real punishment to bristle greatly. I’m looking in your general direction Chris Hanson.

Oh no, Tom Terrific is now only 7-1 in overtime as a starter! The world will soon end!

I forgot one important thing when picking the Baltimore/Bungle game. The Ravens were way too hung up on the officials last week and bitched way too long to be truly focused this week. Oops. But hey, can you blame me? They were playing the Bungles.

Speaking of parolees, Ravens lead moron Ray Lewis was fined $25,000 for two separate hits in that game, including a helmet-to-helmet hit on Chad Ochocinco. It’s a shame he cannot be fined for just being an egotistical ass.

Did anyone else enjoy re-tread running back Cedric Benson snapping the Raven’s streak of not allowing a 100 yard rusher? I know I did.

And our condolences go out to Bungle defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer, who coached a beauty of a game while mourning the unexpected passing of his wife Vicki. I have nothing new to add to this story, as I’m sure if you follow the NFL you have heard it already. But I will say the Bungles, actually for this they will be the Bengals, coming together to help this man and perform like superstars may be the best story of the NFL season so far and may be the best of the year. Our thoughts and prayers are with you Mike.

The Browns finally won a game, thanks to the ineptness of the Bills coaching and team play. The Buffalo faithful booed their team at the end of that travesty called a game, and rightfully so. The Bills walked off the field leaving a steaming pile as large as Lake Erie.

If they keep up this kind of performance, Dallas will soon be dead to me much like the Titans. Seriously Wade Phillips, use your brain. If Mike Vrabel is in on offense, the pass is going to him. The man has 11 career receptions and 11 career receiving touchdowns, after you blew it Sunday. Was anyone but your team surprised this happened yet again? The Patriots used him in the Super Bowl in this fashion to great success. How, oh how, did you not see this coming?

With all the new blood on the Colt offense to reenergize Manning, how long do you think Peyton’s career will last? Honestly, I think he could play effectively for 10 more years with at least six of those years at the same level or higher than he is right now. And tack on another 5 after that 10 playing decently with a strong running game. Seriously.


The Steel Pit

Ahhh, nothing like a little winning streak to make things all better, no? Of course, that got a touch dicey there at the end. But give the defense credit; they only gave up 7 points in the fourth quarter last week, so obviously they’re improving. And it would not have been nearly as close if Big Ben didn’t have one really bad throw. But no worries, the team overall played well, and despite a few mistakes, still managed a nice win on the road.

Ok, sure, there were still some obvious question marks. Why the defense seems to fade in the fourth quarter. Why the defense cannot seem to get off the field on third down which is a major issue if you ask me. And why the play calling went conservative in the 4th quarter on offense. I mean come on Arians; I know you wanted that one last home run ball, but focus on scoring instead of ESPN highlights. Control the game and that home run will come to you. But why split hairs?

There were tons of good things, like Harrison and Woodley finally both showing up and the defense racking up seven sacks. Now that’s finally getting to the quarterback. And yeah, it was the Lions, but I think we can all agree they are improved, and some, including myself, would argue not even in the bottom 10 teams in the league. Plus, everyone forgets but once upon a time Culpepper was a top tier quarterback, and he showed that presence Sunday. So goo d things happened, the most important being a big fat W.

But even a nice victory must be tempered, and Steelers fans got that with learning defensive end Aaron Smith tore his rotator cuff in the game and is gone for the season. Smith’s presence on the defensive line is highly underrated and if you question his importance on that defense think back to 2007. Smith tore his bicep in that season, and missed the last 4 games. The Steelers lost 3 of those 4 games and were scorched on the ground.

The only salve the fans have is the heralded return of Troy Polamalu. Perhaps the addition of Troy can inspire the team, and Smith’s replacement, to play at new heights. One can hope.

As all the talking heads and pundits’ state each season, it’s difficult to repeat as champions. The mettle of this team will be measured in how they overcome the obstacles that stack their path. I for one am curious and excited to see how they respond.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Patriots, in a stab for experience and leadership, coaxed Junior Seau out of retirement this week to suit up again. Is Seau afflicted by the same disease as Favre?

The NFL is investigating an injury to Browns rookie James Davis. Allegedly Davis obtained a season ending shoulder surgery by going up against another player in pads while Davis was not in pads. Suffice to say, this would be a massive no no. I guess Mangini needed to up the ante with Tom Cable for worst coach in the league.

Browns fallen star Brady Quinn has put his house up for sale. But don’t read anything into it he’s selling just to move closer to the Browns facility to lessen his commute. Sure Brady. Hey, people of Cleveland, if you believe that, I have a bridge in Pittsburgh for sale if you’re interested.

Apparently, John Fox expects to be fired after the season, with rumors swirling he could be replaced by Bill Cowher. Sorry John, I don’t think it’s anything personal. I think this has been in the works for a while.

Question of the week. Has Tony Dungy ever gotten upset or raised his voice ever?

In lieu of the negative publicity, the ownership group looking to purchase the Rams led by Dave Checketts has dropped Rush Limbaugh from their ranks. Limbaugh predictably lashed out at the players union, stating he was made an example of and of course used the situation spew more divisive talk regarding our country and its politics in general. See Rush, it’s talk like that, constantly pitting people, religions and races against each other and the general mindset of if you are not with me you are against me is why today you still sit on the outside looking in. Yes, you may have 21 million listeners, but there are over 300 million people in this country. So perhaps you are not as universally believed and loved as you like. And one last note to Rush; excellent publicity stunt. People have been talking about you for over two weeks. Obviously the price for that is the unspent share of money needed to purchase the Rams. Good show.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Bye weeks can be a major pain in the fanny. One spends ample time planning their pretend football team, who they want, what moves they will make as a pretend owner. But then a bye week comes along and your fake star player is sitting at home eating Cheetos and kicking back. So now what? You find a replacement on the waiver wire.

I learned this week you must be careful in picking your replacements. I needed a wide receiver, and as it turns out so did my opponent, due to the bye. I chose the Colts’ Austin Collie. I figured he might do ok since Peyton is, well, Peyton. My opponent chose Jerricho Cotchery. Suffice to say, I chose wisely. But I might have had a touch of luck as well. And luck, seems to be a part of it.

This week, luck may leave me. I’ve resigned myself to a loss. Why so soon you may ask? A game has not even been played, why give up before the go? Because my opponent has Big Ben Roethlisberger, and he’s facing the Browns this week. That cannot end well for me in faux football. In real football? Jackpot!


Upon Further Review

When Michael Vick was reinstated to the NFL and the Eagles signed him, I supported the move. I felt that a man, if he has paid for his crimes, should be allowed a second chance to make a life for himself. After all, is this not one of the basic tenets of our society?

And let’s be honest, Vick has paid for his crimes, in ways far beyond a mere jail sentence. After all, most people convicted of dog fighting do not get two years in the pokey. Vick lost the respect of fans everywhere, the league, players, his family and friends. He lost millions in endorsements, millions in earnings, over 2 years of his athletic prime and 2 years of freedom. Forever he will be labeled an ex-con and in many circles a pariah. Some people will protest him until he retires into seclusion.

I spoke to many people about this very subject, with all of them vehemently stating the man should never have been allowed to return. They did not care about redemption, or that he supposedly changed, only that the man committed horrendous crimes and should never be allowed to resume such the privileged life he once led. I had trouble with this stance, as while I agreed with everything they said, especially being a dog owner, but felt it is important for us as a society to still hold true to the ideals upon which our justice system is based. If we cannot allow a man a second chance at life after being punished for his crimes, what does that say about us as a whole?

This is not so much about football, but about a man learning to be a better person. And on the surface, since his return he has said and done all the right things. Seemingly, he is taking this second chance with the seriousness and gravity it deserves. Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing someone turn their life around? It would be inspirational for everyone, to see that one person can use the opportunities presented to them to become something so much more than he was before.

But after seeing him surrounded by the cameras that are filming his reality show, something tells me he’s not serious. He’s serious about being famous and rich. He may recognize killing dogs for entertainment is wrong, but the gravity of why has not touched him. Only that people don’t like it and that it can get him in trouble. His sincerity to change may not be pure, and if it is that purity is only to help him regain the material wealth and fame he lost.

Perhaps I am merely naïve, or just it’s another example of the triumph of hope over experience. But I had hoped that for once, we’d see someone truly repent his crimes and strive to become something more. However, Vick has shown me he is not that person. Perhaps there is still hope yet. After all, I do think Tony Dungy is a wonderful person and can be one to help guide a wayward soul. And if Vick should be truly rehabilitated and remorseful, that would give people some faith back in our society, of which there seems to be less and less as time rolls on. But so far, the only thing Vick seems concerned with doing what is necessary to collect fame and money. And that may be the real mark of what we hold true in our society. And a more damning statement to the state of our world there may not be.


He Said He Said

"People see what I do and forget who I am and they really don't know who I am. Working with kids is what I do. I have over 100 kids in the NFL, I called them kids, but they're young adults, that I text every morning, Monday through Friday.'' - Deion Sanders, in an interview on NFL Network Sunday.

Yes, I always make sure to contact them during normal business hours, when it matters to me most how they are doing. In the off hours, when they might need the most guidance? I’m busy then. Deion can sell it all he wants, but I’m not buying it. I still think his biggest concern for these guys is how it keeps him connected and relevant to the game. Especially after watching him get defensive during this interview.

"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture ... He was screaming, 'I'll f------ kill you! I'll f------ kill you!' And I have no reason to believe he wouldn't have killed me if they hadn't pulled him away.'' – Former Raiders assistant coach Randy Hanson in his first extensive public comments regarding his claims of being attacked by Raiders coach Tom Cable.

Read the rest of the story by Michael Silver here. I certainly encourage it. I’m still not sure what the strangest part of this whole melodrama is yet. Is it that it involves a head coach on a steaming pile of an NFL team headed by the crypt keeper, or that Hanson did not want this publicized, wanted to stay with the team, is still getting paid by the team, and still roots for the Raiders after detailing tons of demeaning treatment even before getting clocked by Cable. I think the whole situation is karma for being a Raider fan.

''Man, they traveled awesome. It was spectacular to stand on the visiting sideline and see the fan support that we had today in this building.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin.

We do what we can.

''I don't feel like I'm playing well. 'm disappointed in my performance.'' – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Oh, yeah, Ben you are playing horrendous. In case you haven’t noticed I’m being sarcastic.

“It’s a great challenge coaching against bill and his staff.” – Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels

I should say so. Especially knowing that everything you know and all the plans you’ve made, he knows.

''I'd be lying if I said I thought I'd still be playing at 40 and not miss a game at this point. I just hope I can lead this team to bigger and better things.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

I bet he’s thinking of playing at 50.

''We think we're a good football team. The worst we can finish now is 5-11.'' – Vikings defensive end Jared Allen

Now that’s funny. I want to get behind Jared and his monster season, but that mullet. Seriously, cannot someone talk to him? I think an intervention might be needed to take away his Flowbee.

“From a talent level, this is the best team I’ve ever been on.” – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Honestly, what’s next for Favre? How further can he demean and alienate Packer fans? At this point, all that seems left is to just go door to door through Wisconsin and shat on every porch with a cheese head in the window. It would be easier on everyone and more to the point.

"We couldn't stop the run or pass today. Other than that, we played great.” – Jets head coach Rex Ryan

Boy he’s a good quote.

"Perhaps we should all give Terrell Owens a round of applause. Can you imagine how much effort it's taking for him to stay quiet? Even if he were to talk out about Buffalo's woes, people would probably take his side. When have you ever been able to say that in the past?" – SI.com’s Jerome Bettis

Oh, he’s just saving it up for a truly memorable outburst. And I cannot wait.


Idiot of the week

This week’s idiot is the Buffalo Bills, for being amazingly unable to beat the hapless Browns, at home in front of a fired up crowd. How does that even happen? I know they have some talent on that team, how can you not win? I could find five random people on the street who could outcoach Mangini, how does Dick Jauron blow this game?

Plus, a special idiotic commendation goes to Bill Roscoe Parrish, whose muffed punt and turnover led directly to the Browns field goal that lost Buffalo the game. Roscoe, if you cannot corral the punt, just let it go. By trying to go for some hair brained idea of scooping and running onto a Sports Center highlight, you cost your team the game. Now, combine Roscoe’s horrendous crash with Leodis McKelvin’s un-special teams error and we have two games the Bills have lost because of dumb special teams errors. I thought Bobby April had these cats playing at the top of their game?

So Bills, for disappointing your fan base yet again, this time with a very humiliating home loss, bad coaching, dumb mental errors by your “top” players and being outcoached by a guy who was fired for his inability to win, you and Roscoe Parrish, for committing the same errors a Pop Warner team does, are idiots.


Taking the Week Off

Cowboys – If I were Wade Phillips, I’d spend this weekend tightening up my resume. A public vote of confidence from the team owner is as good as the kiss of death. Let the countdown begin.

Colts – I’m sure Peyton will produce a new game plan with Tom Moore, conjure another fabulous receiver out of bat wings, a piece of turf and liniment oil all the while taping three dozen new commercials for the stretch run. You know, his usual day off stuff.

Dolphins – Wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat. After all, in Miami, what else is there? (Henne….)

49ers – I’m hoping Mike Singletary can keep his pants on trying to find a solution for his defense’s poor performance last week. I’m hoping.


On Tap This Week

Another exciting week in the quixotic attempt to win big. I headed into Monday night in a 5 way tie for first place. If the Jets won, it would come down to me and two others and a win on points. I’ve done it before, could I do it again? Not this time, Chad Henne had something to say about that. But not a bad week overall.

Last week: 10-4
Season to date: 56-20

The Lady K also maintained her overall lead. I’ve got my fingers crossed she continues the magic. So let’s take a look and see what chance I have to join her in the pantheon of pro pick ‘em legends.

Sunday

St. Louis (0-5) at Jacksonville (2-3)

If they do not win today, St. Louis tomorrow will observe the one year anniversary of their last victory. It’s going to be a pathetic celebration.

Jaguars over Rams

Baltimore (3-2) at Minnesota (5-0)

I’ve said for weeks Baltimore’s defense is not what it used to be. Today on a national stage that will be exposed.

Vikings over Ravens

Detroit (1-4) at Green Bay (2-2)

I think Aaron Rodgers, after a nice week off, will use Detroit to wash that Favre right out of his hair.

Packers over Lions

Houston (2-3) at Cincinnati (4-1)

At this point, I have to pick Cincinnati. They’ve won too big too often. And to think, if not for one freak play, they’d be 5-0. Frightening.

Bungles over Texans

Cleveland (1-4) at Pittsburgh (3-2)

Oh come on. Yes no Aaron Smith hurts, but the Browns? Heck I could start in Smith’s place against Cleveland and no one would see a noticeable drop off in performance.

Steelers over Browns

Kansas City (0-5) at Washington (2-3)

Yes, Washington is so bad, and folding so fast, I do not like them at home against yet another winless team. Even one as dysfunctional as Kansas City.

Chiefs over Redskins

Carolina (1-3) at Tampa Bay (0-5)

How low can Tampa Bay go? I think they want to reclaim their crown as worst team of all time from the Lions.

Panthers over Tampa Bay

New York Giants (5-0) at New Orleans (4-0)

Ok, I’ve finally figured out why Drew Brees is so good. The Saints color scheme is very similar to that of Purdue, Brees’ Alta mater. When Drew suits up each week and dons those colors his mindset changes. He doesn’t think he’s in the NFL and about to face the best competition in the world, he thinks he’s back in college facing non-conference cupcakes. Today he won’t see the New York Giants; he’ll see Miami of Ohio. And he KNOWS he can beat them. We’re through the looking glass here, people.

Saints over Giants

Arizona (2-2) at Seattle (2-3)

Ok, now this is a tough one. Arizona is coming off a bye week, but like I said, Hasselbeck is the straw that stirs Seattle. Hmmm, just a gut feeling, and they have been wrong before, but I think…..

Cardinals over Seahawks

Philadelphia (3-1) at Oakland (1-4)

This is a nice second game back for Donovan McNabb, or should I say scrimmage? Perhaps if he tees off correctly in the first half, he can take the second half off just like Eli did last week.

Eagles over Raiders

Buffalo (1-4) at New York Jets (3-2)

I bet Rex Ryan’s defense has a much better game this week.

Jets over Bills

Tennessee (0-5) at New England (3-2)

In Tennessee, things are about to go from worse to horrific.

Patriots over Titans

Chicago (3-1) at Atlanta (3-1)

Hmmm, perhaps I was too quick to judge on the Falcons. Ok, I’ll give them a shot this week. But if Matt Forte tears them a new one, I’m gonna be unhappy.

Falcons over Bears


Monday

Denver (5-0) at San Diego (2-2)

Yeah, I know, I said earlier don’t go against a team coming off their bye week. But at this point, who would you trust more, Josh McDaniels or Norv Turner? I thought so.

Broncos over Chargers

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 5

The Sporting News, in their latest issue, named Pittsburgh the number one sports city amongst a pool of 399 candidates. You wanna know why? Sure the main reason is two championships this year. But I’ll tell you what really pushed the Burgh over the top. Me baby, me! I’m back, bad and in and about dahntahn!


Opening Kickoff

I like many watched Brett Favre eviscerate the Packers Monday night. And do not even try to tell me that wasn’t about revenge, I’ve seen that performance before, and it’s when Favre is motivated and pissed. That was one of his best games in the last 10 years. Yeah, this move was ALL about revenge. Favre protests otherwise because he still has financial interests in Green Bay.


The Way It Was

Nope, sorry Bungle fans. You will always root for the Bungles. It took you 5 quarters to put away the Browns? Really? And that field goal was iffy at best. Sorry, you had a chance to be Bengals again, and blew it miserably.

The Tennessee Titans are dead to me.

Titan fans are screaming for Jeff Fisher to start Vince Young to try to turn things around. Yeah, a move like that might shake things up, but trust me that’s not your problem. Unless Vince can play cornerback, putting him in the line up is not going to fix your biggest problems.

Raider running back Darren McFadden will undergo surgery to repair torn cartilage in his knee and will miss two to four weeks. I think he’s faking it. I’d do the same thing to put any kind of distance between myself and that train wreck. And somewhere in northern California, Richard Seymour weeps and plots his revenge on Belichick.
For all his drama, Brandon Marshall can deliver the goods. His crazy touchdown run for the winning points was a thing of beauty.

I’m beginning to wonder not if JaMarcus Russell can get worse, but how much worse can he get? I think he may have a game with a negative quarterback rating.

On the field at the end of the game, it looked like Tony Romo forgot the down signaling third down when he just played the fourth down. Of course, Dallas had a lovely little spin to cover up the faux pas. Hey, Romo, TO is gone and so is your “distraction”. So quit screwing up and score me some points you overrated pretty boy.

Boy, did you see the live shots from Brett Favre’s steakhouse Monday night? It sure seemed rather slow for a Packer game. I wonder why….

The more I watch Baltimore this season, the more I think most everyone in the media is wrong. I do not believe they have an offense that matches their defense. I think their offense is better, and their defense is slipping. They couldn’t get off the field on third down all day.

And speaking of Baltimore, here’s hoping Ravens tackle Jared Gaither will be ok. I think all of us held our breath as this young man lay on the Gillette Stadium turf after a scary incident. Another sobering reminder that amidst the fun of football, at its heart is a violent game that can be deadly dangerous.

Unfortunately, that’s not the only bad thing the Ravens endured that day. Honestly, can anyone in the NFL front office tell me with a straight face that those roughing the passer calls on Brady were legitimate, especially the one where he lobbied the referee for the flag?

Our crack investigative team found this little nugget for you, and it seems rather pertinent after last Sunday. Article VI, Subsection B, Point 4b of the official 2009 NFL Rule book states that if anyone brushes past Tom Brady’s skirt and causes it to ruffle, that’s an automatic 15 yards and a first down. But pouncing on Donovan McNabb in the end zone after the play (see Panthers 2009 game) and pounding Ben Roethlisberger into the turf 2-3 seconds after he releases the ball (see any 2008 game) is still cool.

How do the Patriots do it? Their offensive line is a mess and Tom Brady certainly is not feeling his oats. With Fred Taylor out, their running game has more question marks on it than the Riddler’s suit. Their defense is sorely lacking leadership and without Jerrod Mayo missing its best player. Yet they sit at 3-1 and keep winning. How? Ugh, does this mean I have to put my loathing aside pick New England consistently now? I wanna puke.

The Browns traded Braylon Edwards to the Jets for two of Mangini’s guys, a few draft picks, and a ton less aspirin. The final straw, other than a putrid performance, was Edwards getting into an altercation at a club early Monday morning with a gentleman who is good friends with LeBron James. Wow, all of Cleveland will do whatever it takes to keep James with the Cavaliers.

Seriously, NFL players, stop going to clubs. Nothing good happens there. Just ask Plaxico Burress.

The Steel Pit

See? All it took was me in attendance, and I turned that bad boy around! Ok, I know it wasn’t me, although it was tremendous fun to not only soak in yet another game and Heinz Field experience, but to also, finally savor a win at home.

Who did turn it around you ask? An inspired Rashard Mendenhall that’s who. And listening to the roar of the crowd at the beginning of the game, filled with joy, tension, nervousness and just a touch of trepidation, Mendenhall responded like a man who knows he won’t get many more chances.

The Good – The offense. Not only did Mendenhall perform wonderfully, the entire unit did as well. The line blocked well, opening holes I could run through and kept Big Ben clean most of the game. Sure, there was one series he was sacked twice, but that’s why I said mostly. Speaking of which, Roethlisberger threw for over 300 yards and two touchdowns and had the look that Steelers fans should come to expect such games more often in the future. Hines Ward had over 100 yards of receiving and his smile was back, bright and inspiring.

The Bad – the fourth quarter. The defense played a wonderful game through three quarters, but for some reason allowed the Chargers 21 points starting at the end of the third. I really cannot point as to a specific reason on the field, other than a lack of pressure due to coverage play. But on the last defensive series they sure found that pressure when they needed it most. So I’ll only say kind of bad.

The Ugly – the fans. Look I understand the game was on a Sunday night. It was late near the end and most people had to go to school or work the next day. And until midway through the fourth quarter, the game pretty much seemed to be in the bag. But NFL tickets are not cheap, and neither is devoted fandom. By midway through the 4th, I looked around and could see large swatches of empty seats and could only shake my head in disbelief. And what happened after that? Without a full house to inspire the team, or distract and harangue Philip Rivers, San Diego promptly went on a scoring spree. Don’t tell me home field advantage doesn’t mean something, I watched it mean almost too much.

But hey, these are but minor concerns. The team is back on the right side of the ledger, and things are looking up. Bring on the Lions!


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Have you wondered what John Madden is up to these days? Why hanging out in his man cave of course. Oh, but Madden has no ordinary man cave. As mentioned in Sports Illustrated this week, Madden has a 7,000 square foot studio close to home that is outfitted with nine 63 inch HD televisions and a 16 by 9 foot projection screen. Tell me you wouldn’t give an eye tooth to sit there with big John on Sundays snacking on Turducken!

The Redskins, in their extreme intelligence, hired Sherman Lewis, who hasn’t coached since 2004, as a consultant. I cannot imagine what fresh, new ideas he may bring to the equation other than how he likes head coach printed on his business cards one they can Zorn.

Reports have circulated that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is teaming with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts to purchase the Rams. The first thing I thought upon hearing this news was, would Rush trade for Donovan McNabb? Of course, that thought went nowhere once I read that some black players have already spoken out they would never play for any team Rush owned. This should get uncomfortably messy.

Eli manning has plantar fasciitis a painful inflammation of tissue in his right foot. If he cannot play, it won’t be nearly the painful as what Giants fans will suffer at the realization that they must welcome the David Carr era.

Our long national nightmare is over. Michael Crabtree signed with the 49ers. Here’s my big question. Mike Singletary has worked really hard to instill a team first attitude amongst the 49ers, and the results have been very positive with the team playing hard, solid football and sitting at 3-1 atop their division. Does he really want at this point to inject such a me first guy who obviously listens to bad advice over common sense into this tight group he has assembled? Couldn’t Crabtree’s presence cause more problems than good? I’m curious as to how the dynamic will change with him on board.

Woof, did anyone else notice Troy Aikman’s bad hair dye job last week? And it was hard to tell, but is he working on a faux hawk cut? Combined with Al Michael’s hair oddity the first week, it would seem announcers are trying to inspire some youthful and very out of place, looks in the booth this season. I can only imagine that Dick Stockton will show up in a few weeks with full blown punk spikes.

Ben Roethlisberger and his offensive line were hosts of the WWE’s Monday Night Raw program this week. I have nothing against wrestling, although I’m not a big fan. But I ask this of Big Ben, by appearing on a wrestling show, you follow in the hallowed footsteps of sports stars Pete Rose and Dennis Rodman. The wrestling guys are cool, but being associated with Rodman and Rose? Is that the company you want to keep?

ESPN.com’s Mike Sando put together a top ten list of players for an MVP watch. This guy is a moron, and an idiot. I cannot see how he could rank Brett Favre second, when he’s not even the MVP on his own team, which would be Adrian Peterson, relegated to fourth. And Tom Brady, how does he even make this list? Is this just a reputation selection? Oh and don’t get me started about Jay Cutler. You know who is conspicuously missing? A certain two time Super Bowl champion that is having his best year so far in an already storied career. Where is Roethlisberger? Honestly, for a multiple champion with already some prestigious records under his belt, Big Ben is treated by the national media like he cut the cheese at the opera. This has only begun to bother me, and we’ll be coming back to this next week.

The Purple Packer Eater

I’ve kept quiet on As The Favre Turns for the most part, but after watching his F.U. performance Monday night, I have to ask why Favre is so bent on sticking it to the Packers. I understand he has a wicked sense of screw you aimed at Ted Thompson and probably well justified, but Favre’s mission of destruction is causing a wake of collateral damage that is wide, deep and disturbing.

Look, the history of the NFL is littered with stories of players leaving teams they became stars on, were the face of and heart and soul of for seasons. Some were about money, some were about fame, and some were just the team felt it was time to go in another direction while the player felt he could still play. The 49ers had this play out terribly with Joe Montana and Steve Young in the early 90’s.

I can see the argument from both sides. The Packers wanted to keep Aaron Rodgers, because they knew he would be their quarterback for the next 10 years. And if he had to sit behind Favre one more season, they might lose him. Favre felt he still had something left, and wanted to play but wasn’t willing to being relegated to a support role. Jerome Bettis openly accepted this in the latter stages of his career, but such a role never works well for quarterbacks.

Some people side with the Packers and others with Favre both sides accusing the other of ego, selfishness and poor treatment. And you know what, they’re all right. The Packers handled the putting out to pasture of their sure fire hall of fame leader terribly. And Favre allowed ego and hubris, as well as a wicked case of indecision, to get in his way of seeing the future of a franchise that made him a very rich, very big star. We like to believe the mythos of the NFL, and the tales of greatness weaved from what happens on the field. But at the end of the day, it is a business, for both teams and players. And each, no matter how loyal they are to each other, or how much players love being on a team or the team loves all a player can do for them, must think of the bottom line at the end of the day. This is a sad case of the bottom line for each side being very disparate from the other.

What bothers me is that Favre, no matter how right he may be in his feelings of disrespect from the Packers, and I think they are probably wickedly overblown and ego inflated, continues on this “non revenge” mission to make Thompson look bad. But all he is doing is making himself look childish, embarrassing a franchise that made him a household name and a legend, and worst of all ripping out the hearts of a loyal fan base that supported him through all the highs, and the very deep lows, of his career.

Packer fans are some of the best in all of sports, and a good argument could be put forth that they are perhaps the best. They loved, and still do love, Favre and all he did for their team. Yet Favre, either unwittingly or uncaringly has torn this fan base apart. And for what? He states it’s not revenge, just an opportunity to keep playing the game he loves and perhaps win one more championship. Yeah, that sounds good. But that’s not what I saw on Monday night, and I’m not the only one who saw it either.

I don’t care if Favre eventually plays for every team in the league, or if he wins 10 Super Bowls or plays until he’s 60. It’s his life, and he can do with it what he wishes. And if he wishes to find new and inventive ways to stick it to Ted Thompson, good on him, perhaps he deserves it. But come on Brett, lay off the Packer fans. Reach out to them, thank them for years of service, and say how much you still love them and all they did for you through the years. Acknowledge that yes, it’s probably hard for them to see you in Viking purple, but hey that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten all their love through 16 wonderful seasons. Show them something that tells them all those years supporting you, cheering you and buying your merchandise were not for nothing. Show you’re human and care. And if you cannot do that, then perhaps Thompson should have kicked you in the fanny when he showed you the door.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

I give my kingdom for a receiver that scores consistently each week. Well I lost again, this week because once again one of my top performers was my kicker. Although I think all the little things are starting to come together. Yes, I know, I thought that before but this week I picked up Rashard Mendenhall. And he’s playing Detroit! Good Steeler karma will propel me to victory!


He Said He Said

“What's it gonna be next week? Two-hand touch?''- Baltimore pass rusher Terrell Suggs

No Terrell, if you try to do that to Brady, you’d probably be called for illegal use of the hands.

"Being at a loss for words is a good way to put it.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck, on his team's 0-4 start.

As well as a loss of all games thus far. Keep this in mind for a long time Keith, never mess with the Terrible Towel.

“Why, FOX, why? Why show the top 10 plays of Brett Favre's career? How many celebrations of his career have you done, and how many more will you do? What possible relevance do the top 10 plays of his career have this weekend?” – SI.com’s Peter King

You know what’s funny about this? This comment comes from a man who was called in a December 2007 Slate article as “Favre’s most loyal lapdog.” My how times change.

"He challenged me. It was a learning experience." – Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall

Lesson learned, emphatically!

"I don't know how we don't win this every year" – Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl speaking of Pittsburgh being named the number one sports city.

Me either.

"Man, just let us live!" – Steelers tackle Willie Colon in reaction to criticism of the Steelers offensive line.

Willie, I promise to leave you alone as soon as you go two weeks in a row without committing a rookie level mental era. Deal?

“Absolutely embarrassing. Everything is wrong with it right now. I'm not the least bit happy in a lot of areas. I've seen us be tough and physical to soft and bewildered.” – Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith

Uh, A.J., I hate to point out the obvious, but you built this team and hired their coach. If things are embarrassing, and the team stinks, the buck stops at your desk.


Idiot of the week

Yeesh, how in the heck do you pick with such a good week? Of course our aforementioned Mike Sando gets a nomination just for being part of the over hyping Brady and Favre problem. And extra points for ignoring one of the best quarterbacks in the game over several others who have won nothing.

And I would be remiss without nominating Bungles head coach Marvin Lewis. On fourth and 11, with only 64 seconds remaining in overtime, Lewis was going to punt. Carson Palmer had to convince him otherwise. Since when is it ok to play for a tie?

And how can I forget the NFL referees who are apparently so star struck with the wonderfulness of Tom Brady, that with no effort he can Jedi mind trick them into throwing a flag.

But I think the winner this week is Deion Sanders. Neon Deion, in his desperate attempt to stay relevant with today’s player, has taken on several “mentoring” roles that have shall we say, backfired horribly. His advice to Michael Crabtree has produced a young man that will miss half of his rookie season and is looked upon by most people as a stupid, greedy fool for demanding ridiculous money in the worst economy in decades.

Now, he has Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant in hot water because Bryant lied abut his relationship with Sanders. Bryant is declared, for now, ineligible to play and could miss the remainder of the season. That would certainly hurt his draft status for next season. Couple that with now Oklahoma State being investigated and could be forced to forfeit wins if it looks like Bryant’s relationship with Sanders was one of a professional nature.

So Sanders’ “mentoring” will cost Bryant college games, that lack of experience and exposure will cost him draft position, which will cost him money. It will cost dozens of players wins, players who will never see an NFL payday. It will cost the university not only wins, but respect and alumni donations.

And then Sunday he went on the NFL Network for an interview to show he’s doing all this for Bryant like a Good Samaritan. No you’re not. You’re doing this because somewhere, you’ll make money off of his talent. He claims he’s doing it to help better these young men and help them escape from troubled backgrounds. He stated his intention is only advise them, give them a role model. And at the same time that stated he believe Bryant lied because he was nervous. Well, if you were really being a good role model, don’t you think he would have taught him is always a good thing to tell the truth?

Sanders claims his intentions are good, and his concern is for more than just these young men as players, but as people and extends to their families and friends as well. But something just smells bad about the fact that two high profile players have been wrapped up in bad situations, and at the center of both is Sanders and his longtime agent Eugene Parker. And just to point it out, Sanders has also helped “mentor” the likes of Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and DeAngelo Hall.

If this is the kind of advice and help Sanders offers, what young man with NFL aspirations would be “smart enough” to take it? I suggested a few years ago as a joke that Deion should host a reality show in which he does advise new players on how to live large. But I never thought my tongue in cheek suggestion would turn into a show that A) is not broadcast anywhere but in news headlines B) those he mentors take it seriously C) Deion takes it seriously and D) the advice is not merely superficial but creates situations that could affect careers.

Something tells me this is far from over. But in the meantime, for having a raging ego, a desperation to stay relevant, to want to be the Don King of the NFL, for claiming to be only after the best interests of these young men when evidence is starting to point otherwise, for being defiant that what you are doing is good for these young men when the repercussions show otherwise and for being too dumb to know any relationship with college players could at minimum be construed as inappropriate, Deion Sanders you are a massive idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bears – What else? Continue the Cutler love fest. Bad haircuts for everyone!

Packers – The entire state will go on a beer, brat and cheese bender to try to forget the awful, awful thing that happened Monday. I may join them.

Saints – Drew Brees is taking the offense barnstorming through the Midwest to play semi pro teams. Just the offense though. He wants to show how great his offense is, keep them sharp and that they can win on most fields with only half a team.

Chargers – The unhappy A.J. Smith will personally check each player for their level of cottony softness. I recommend checking Norv Turner for a pulse as well.
.

On Tap This Week

Ok, well, I did not win it all last week. Some cat that picked every game correct did that. But hey, it wasn’t too shabby.

Last week: 11-3
Season to Date: 46-16

And even better, the Lady K has extended her overall lead. You go girl!

Sunday

Cincinnati (3-1) at Baltimore (3-1)

No Gaither will hurt Baltimore and Joe Flacco’s ability to work unfettered, but I’m sorry, if you can barely beat the Browns in five quarters how am I supposed to trust you on the road?

Ravens over Bungles

Oakland (1-3) at New York Giants (4-0)

Ugh, Eli Manning could win this game with a broken passing arm.

Giants over Raiders

Dallas (2-2) at Kansas City (0-4)

Ok, if Romo cannot put up big numbers against Haley’s heroes, then the Cowboys should fire everyone, starting with the “general manager”.

Cowboys over Chiefs

Washington (2-2) at Carolina (0-3)

Washington already should fire everyone, starting with the owner.

Panthers over Redskins

Minnesota (4-0) at St. Louis (0-4)

Favre did his work last week. This week, Peterson does his.

Vikings over Rams

Tampa Bay (0-4) at Philadelphia (2-1)

Please.

Eagles over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (2-2) at Detroit (1-3)

I’m kind of glad Stafford and Johnson will not play. This team looks like it can actually score, so weird. And thank goodness Troy Polamalu will not play. I know we all want him back. But when he comes back, I want him to be healthy enough to do the magical things he does, and more importantly, healthy enough he stays back. I don’t think Pittsburgh will have an issue with this game anyway. Well, unless there’s a controversy during the coin toss.

Steelers over Lions

Cleveland (0-4) at Buffalo (1-3)

If two NFL teams played in northern New York, would it make a sound?

Bills over Browns

Atlanta (2-1) at San Francisco (3-1)

I know Atlanta had a bye week, but I really like this 49er team. Singletary is doing a bang up job, pants dropping and all.

49ers over Falcons

Houston (2-2) at Arizona (1-2)

Ok, time to turn it around Whisenhunt. You had a week to kick some fanny, show us the results!

Cardinals over Texans

New England (3-1) at Denver (4-0)

Revenge of the assistant.

Broncos over Patriots

Jacksonville (2-2) at Seattle (1-3)

Seattle will remain a mess until Hasselbeck is well again. Oh, he’s playing? Hmmm, the straw that stirs the putrid green drink is back.

Seahawks over Jaguars

Indianapolis (4-0) at Tennessee (0-4)

I’m taking the second quarter for when Peyton hits 300 yards for the game.

Colts over Titans

Monday

New York Jets (3-1) at Miami (1-3)

Ok, now Sanchez knows what it’s like to lose in the NFL. How will he respond, in the big lights of prime time? Great question, but I have an idea.

Jets over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 4

Starting this week, the NFL will take part in raising awareness for breast cancer. All games this month will be designated NFL Breast Cancer awareness games, and the league will be very visual in raising awareness and funds toward research. Stadiums will be outfitted with pink ribbons and players will don pink cleats and gloves while team field personnel and coaches wear a pink ribbon/NFL shield pin. Teams will also have efforts individually to raise local awareness as well. I commend the league for reaching out and supporting a very important cause that means so much too so many. I encourage everyone to join in and support this cause in any way you can, and to see a doctor regularly for exams. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Opening Kickoff

Ok, I get it Jon Bon Jovi, the baseball playoffs are coming. Someone find that boy something else to do. Since the Arena League folded, he has too much time on his hands.


The Way It Was

Detroit’s long nightmare is over after the Lions gutted out a big win at home, their first in 20 games. This definitely wins feel good story of the week. The best part of their big moment had to be Jim Schwartz, sending the Lions back out on the field from the locker room to thank fans for supporting the team through their putrid run. An excellent touch that I’m sure made fans feel special for their loyalty. You stay classy there, Detroit.

Ok, yes, Favre’s final drive was huge. And that touchdown pass to Greg Lewis was on the money where only Lewis could nab it. Plus, let’s give Lewis some huge props for not only grabbing that ball, but also getting his feet down, great receiving work. But come on, it was one game, and not the Super Bowl. But something tells me Viking fans are starting to dream about a February trip to Miami.

Dang it, did I give Bill Belichick an idea? Last week I said he should run the ball and protect Brady until he was back to 100%. And what the heck did he do? I guess he really does get info from every corner.

I think Tom Brady is starting to feel like his old self again. It has been a long while since I saw him throwing a temper tantrum on the sidelines because things are not going perfectly. Just like old times. What an ass.

Yes, I thought Atlanta could beat the Patriots, but I neglected to calculate in one important factor. The Falcons have a weak run defense. I guess that would be important, huh?

Who had a worse week than Ryan Mouton? Poor guy couldn’t buy a hole to crawl into after that mistake riddled game.

Stupid me. You would think after watching this much football, I’d learn something. Going against Peyton Manning, even on the road, when he’s showed last week he doesn’t even need 15 full minutes to dispose of an opponent? Dumb on me. My punishment, no double stuffed Oreos for a week.

The return of Michael Vick occurred over the weekend. Vick had no significant impact on the game and was mostly a decoy. I know some people are very vexed by Vick’s employment in the NFL. To these people in the in the anti-Vick group, I urge you to not worry. Eventually Vick will be treated as the social pariah just as you wish. Trust in Eagle fans to sort this out. As soon as he costs them a game, he’ll face hate and derision like he’s never experienced before.

Speaking of Philadelphia, the Eagles cut Jeff Garcia to bring back linebacker Jeremiah Trotter. Hmmm, seems like Philadelphia is trying to change some mojo as well.

Although he came back, I’m sure it made Redskin fans want to throw up watching Albert Haynesworth carted off the field. Congratulations Dan Snyder that looks like money well spent.

Forget it; I think we have a winner. Dan Snyder is a far worse owner than Jerry Jones. At least Jones has won something once.

Wow, how bad do you feel for Rams fans when they have to rally behind Kyle Boller?


The Steel Pit

Two weeks. Two beatable opponents. Two games where defeat was snatched at the end from the jaws of victory.

For the first time in eight years, the Bungles managed to defeat Pittsburgh in Cincinnati. This game was dominated throughout by the Steelers, and yet, at the end, they were once again holding the short end of the stick. So who’s to blame? What’s the problem this time? Despite missing a very long field goal, I don’t think you can put the goat horns at the feet of Jeff Reed this time.

Candidate #1 Big Ben – Despite the interception returned for a touchdown, Roethlisberger was on target and sharp all afternoon. And that interception came because Holmes ran the wrong route. Sorry, not Ben this time.

Candidate #2 the wide receivers – Yeah, with Santonio Holmes dropping his fourth pass in two weeks coupled with a terrible mental error running his route, and Limas Sweed muffing a sure touchdown, the receiving corps is looking bad. If not for Mike Wallace coming on, it would be Hines Ward on an island. They can easily take blame.

Candidate # 3, the offensive line – I cannot pin this on them. The unit established good protection and created excellent running holes while keeping Big Ben clean until one late game sack. They are most definitely improving.

Candidate # 4 the offensive game plan – for most part the coaching staff called a good game. But they stagnated once again inside the 20, left points on the field instead of finishing drives, and got way too conservative in the 4th quarter with too much time left on the clock. Bruce Arians did well mixing up formations and plays, but for some inexplicable reason went run run pass in the fourth, which caused drives to stall and gave Cincy ample opportunities to stage their comeback.

Plus, why not go for it on 4th and 1 from the Bungle ½ yard line? Obviously the team was not afraid to go for it on 4th down. They did last week in a similar situation and it resulted in a touchdown. Do it this week, and it would have been a demoralizing opening stanza for the Bungle defense. As it were, the Bungles walked off feeling down but not out. And that made a world of difference later.

Candidate #5 the defense – Yes, they played well, but it’s becoming easier to heap a share of the blame on this unit. They did hold up well, but they did not finish strong. Yes, the offense not staying on the field in the fourth quarter and continually giving the ball back to the Bungle offense did not help, and kept the defensive unit much busier at the end but they still need to finish. This much vaunted unit has surprisingly not forced a single turnover the last two weeks. That is a disturbing trend.

Basically, it comes down to finishing. The team played well through the first three quarters, but failed to finish in the fourth. Tomlin, through clenched teeth, said as much during his post game interview and pointedly said this would be a focus of the team this week. And it should be. Teams win when they show the ability to finish thoroughly. Finishing runs, tackles, catches, plays, drives and games, that’s how a good team becomes great. And right now, this team is not finishing any of them. Until they do, things will not get better.

Colon watch: Well, what a surprise, uber right tackle Willie Colon had a holding penalty that killed another drive in the 2nd half. That’s 3 weeks, 3 penalties and three killed drives. 2 holding, 1 false start and a total of 25 penalty yards amassed already. I know Colon is a good tackle, but come on he has been in the league too long at this point to make these rookie mental errors week after week. The watch continues.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

You know, when the league closed I wondered what would happen to all the old assets from the Arena League. It would seem they sold some old uniforms to Seattle. Good gravy those monstrosities were terrible. I heard optometrist offices throughout the greater Seattle area were packed on Monday morning.

Cris Collinsworth, why do you have to tease us? On Inside the NFL this week, Collinsworth started telling a story from back in his playing days, but refused to finish because, part of the story was a bit blue. Yet he left out the hilarious part for us, the viewer, and left the audience hanging. Come on Cris, why must you tease? When you start telling a funny story from your playing days, you gotta finish it! Don’t tease us and stop right before the good part! I still want to know what happened with Boomer.

I’d like to put a note out there to all the broadcasters and sports writers regarding their kid glove treatment of Tom Brady. Quit making excuses for his antics. Stop saying his infantile behavior on the sidelines stems from frustration, or a fierce competitive drive or some other half baked reasoning. Half of the quarterbacks in the league are frustrated every week because things are going poorly, or their off rhythm or just because they’re losing. And from most, you don’t see them on the sidelines ranting like a raving lunatic while tearing their teammates a new cornhole because they failed to haul in a bad pass. When Peyton Manning has a bad game, does he rip apart Reggie Wayne or Tom Moore? No, he sticks his nose in photo print outs and tries to figure out a way to turn the tide. Call Brady what he is, a spoiled brat who cries when he doesn’t get his way, and acts like a smug arrogant self deserving ass when he does.

During the Bungles/Steelers broadcast, Phil Sims slipped and called Chad Ochocinco Chad Johnson. That made me laugh, although not as much as hearing both him and Jim Nantz say Ochocinco all broadcast long. Changing his name and forcing the media to call him Ochocinco may be the most entertaining thing Chad has done.

Did anyone catch TO’s post game interview? It’s not going to be long now before
he blows up. And by his demeanor, it’s gonna be a big one. Stay tuned.

So last week, Todd Haley spent the game screaming at anyone wearing Chiefs apparel. This week, it looked like he just gave up after half time. I’m starting to think Anquan Boldin probably had a point when he screamed at Haley during last year’s NFC championship game. If Haley makes it to Thanksgiving still employed, I’ll be surprised.

Todd Haley appears to be someone in way over his head, but a stubborn attitude and a massive ego will never let him admit to it, so he just increasingly ratchets up his poor coaching, bad decision making and terrible treatment of personnel under the delusion that eventually it will work because it just has to. This is how he’s always done things and look where it’s got him so far!

Hall of Famer Jim Brown called out legend in his own mind holdout Michael Crabtree in an interview this week. Brown called Crabtree’s stance totally ridiculous and told him to get his butt in camp. Hey Crabtree, of all the people in this world to avoid ticking off, I’d put Jim Brown in the top five. Get your butt in camp.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Well, my winning ways the previous week did not translate into two in a row. In fact, I had a horrid week. That, of course, will happen when all three of your receivers combine for fewer points than your kicker. Not an optimal situation to say the least.

So I have scrambled a bit this week. Due to the opening bye week and injuries, a few of my starters will be on the bench and my wide receiving corps has been revamped. We’ll see if this does any good. But I learned something very important in looking for replacements. Trading is a very important part of this game.

Here’s what I mean. When I first looked at my team, I had way too many running backs, and not enough of anything else. So I just dumped the ones I did not want and picked up what I needed, no big deal. And each week I had no idea swapping a few minor parts for something that fit better.

But after looking through rosters in searching for receivers, I saw a bunch of my old cast offs had found new homes. Obviously my trash was indeed others treasure. And looking over my competitors, they had pieces that would have done me well and could now be on my team, if only I had proposed a trade.

I know, many of you fantasy veterans are sitting there going, well DUH! But hey, for some of us, this is all new and involves some experimentation. Plus, it’s not like you guys are giving away all your hard won secrets to help out the competition. If you did, you wouldn’t be able to put wicked beat downs on us first timers and follow that up with some pointed, and at times hilarious, smack talk.

So I encourage all newbies like me to use every resource at your disposal, especially trades. Not only will it help improve your team, but also increase camaraderie in your league and make the experience that much more enjoyable.


He Said He Said

“A Ravens team with some offense is a spooky thought.” – ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook

Gregg, I prefer the adjective disturbing.

"I think we're 10 times better than last year.'' – Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco

Once again, disturbing.

“We deserved to win the game.'' – Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer

Yeah, cause you guys just dominated play. Grrrr.

“The bottom line is that we need significant players, and we have quite a few of those, to make significant plays in significant moments." – Steelers coach Mike Tomlin

No kidding. Hello, Harrison, Woodley where are you?

"It's human nature to feel, I didn't use the word revenge, but to prove that you still could play. To prove someone wrong, or prove a group wrong. So you can call it what you want." – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre.

But remember, this isn’t about revenge.

"Why would I just quit something that I'm good at, and something that I have fun doing, just because I'm a certain age?" - Penguins forward Billy Guerin If Brett Favre were this honest about wanting to continue playing football, would anyone really care what uniform he donned? No. See Brett, it’s not that hard to make a simple decision.

“I'll tell what was frustrating to me. I'm always looking for down-and-distance on the scoreboard, and in most stadiums, you can look on the side and see it pretty easily. But in this place, there are mostly ads where that normally is. Miller Lite, Dr Pepper ad screens instead of the down-and-distance. I found it in the corner of the end zone, but it's hard to see.” – Giants tackle David Diehl on the new Cowboys Stadium

Oh no, is not Jones’ new football palace perfect? I imagine making these screens tiny was done to thwart opposing teams, and sell ad space, but wouldn’t it hurt the Cowboy offense as well?

“Re the Seattle shock-green uniforms, which are to the eyes what a triple-espresso is to the heart rate: I didn't hate them as much as I thought I would.” – SI.com’s Peter King

That’s ok Peter; I hated them enough for the both of us. Putrid things.

"You don't realize that your legacy will be based upon how you perform, not how much money you made.” Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown in speaking about holdout Michael Crabtree

I think this should be something Brown tells to every potential NFL player every year at the combine.

"Rich Gannon had been a journeyman quarterback in the NFL for years and we gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to be our starting quarterback. We're the only team that ever afforded him that opportunity.'' – Raiders executive John Herrera, criticizing former Raider Rich Gannon because of his critical comments of the team.

Worst. Franchise. Ever.


Idiot of the week

Speaking of the worst franchise, this week the award of idiot goes to the entire Oakland Raider organization.

Yes, this organization has been a fumbling, bumbling, dysfunctional mess since their appearance in Super Bowl 37. But this season, the goofy dysfunction seems to have morphed into pathetic disaster. I know none of this is a secret, except apparently to those behind the shroud of Al Davis. So why do they win this week? Let’s just take what happened in the last week or so in Raider Land.

“Franchise” quarterback JaMarcus Russell continued his downward spiral toward a 0.0 quarterback rating by going 12 for 21 for 61 yards with 2 interceptions and a 22.6 quarterback rating.

Before the game, the Raider organization attempted to ban former Raider quarterback and current CBS commentator Rich Gannon from the premises, because of critical comments Gannon made concerning the organization. Never mind that Gannon’s comments were accurate and, considering the state of Raider football, required.

When thwarted in their efforts to ban a former team captain from their building because of his honesty regarding the state of his former NFL home, the team instead of accepting Gannon chose instead to drag him through the mud and trash him in a very public and juvenile way.

Now, reducing their relationship with a former team leader to a junior high style fight would easily get them the idiot award. But oh the Raider was not done there.

On Monday, head coach Tom Cable was interviewed by authorities regarding his role in the alleged assault of former coach Randy Hansen that resulted in Hansen suffering a broken jaw and being terminated from the team. Yes, an NFL coach the day after a game in the middle of the season was talking to the cops about breaking a guys jaw.

Honestly, it’s like watching someone suffer a nervous breakdown, except it’s an entire organization, blindly following the orders of a crazed paranoid maniac with who suffers fits of dementia and delusions of grandeur.

Watching this organization melt down used to be funny and for me, quite pleasurable. But it’s now just becoming sad. And it’s odd for me to say it, but I’m actually beginning to feel genuinely bad for Raider fans. The fact that they continue to support this organization which has done nothing to reward that loyalty amazes me and really displays the depth of their fandom. Or perhaps at this point their merely suffering from the Helsinki Syndrome.

So, for 6 years of futility that is spiraling down the drain at an exponentially increasing rate, the Oakland Raider organization, you are all idiots.


Taking the Week Off

With the start of bye weeks, a favorite feature of mine returns. Each week, we peek in on the teams sitting out the coming Sunday’s action and see how they will spend their precious off day.

Cardinals – Coach Whisenhunt will set up a meeting to introduce Kurt Warner to Larry Fitzgerald, since apparently Warner has forgotten Larry is still a part of the offense.

Falcons – Oh, it sounds like Atlanta is going to have some fun. The team has set up a scavenger hunt to try and find their run defense.

Panthers – John Fox will be burning the midnight oil to see if there is any way he can continue to back Jake Delhomme as his quarterback AND win enough games to keep his job.

Eagles – Andy Reid will do what he always does on bye weeks, have some cheese steaks and try to find a way to have a 4 quarterback offense.


On Tap This Week

Ok, I took a few chances last week. And a few of them, lets just say, were less than successful.

Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 35 - 13

Well look at that, despite going the wrong way on a few, I still managed a solid week. And even better, the Lady K increased her overall lead by 2 games. So far, a good start to the season. Let’s see if this solid performance and consistency can be extended.

Sunday

Detroit (1-2) at Chicago (2-1)

Lion fans savored this week like no other fans. The sun was brighter, food tasted better and the air was fresher. Unfortunately, one win only moves them up from horrid to terrible. But it’s a step in the right direction.

Bears over Lions

Seattle (1-2) at Indianapolis (3-0)

I went against Peyton last week. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice then I’m a moron. And I’m not, at least not yet.

Colts over Seahawks

Tennessee (0-3) at Jacksonville (1-2)

I figured out what’s wrong with Tennessee. They should have never stomped on the Terrible Towel. Think about it, they haven’t won a game since. Coincidence? I think not. But this week, all the formidable power of the Towel must be used to right a ship in Pittsburgh, so Tennessee will be out from under its yolk and be able to get back on the right track themselves.

Titans over Jaguars

New York Giants (3-0) at Kansas City (0-3)

Note to all Kansas City fans, don’t bother. Stay out of the stadium. Just remain in the parking lots and eat some of that world famous Kansas City barbeque. Trust me, you’ll feel better.

Giants over Chiefs

Tampa Bay (0-3) at Washington (1-2)

I think for Jim Zorn, it’s not a matter of if he will be canned, but when.

Redskins over Buccaneers

Baltimore (3-0) at New England (2-1)

Forget it. New England had success going run oriented last week against Atlanta, who has a week front 4 on defense. Baltimore does not suffer the same affliction. And Ed Reed will make sure to clean up all those off target passes Tom Brady puts out there. You thought Brady was cheesed last week, wait until after this game.

Ravens over Patriots

Oakland (1-2) at Houston (1-2)

Ewww.

Texans over Raiders

Cincinnati (2-1) at Cleveland (0-3)

At this point, I wonder if Cleveland could win a game of tiddlywinks. And Mangini, trust me, it matters not who starts at quarterback. And if Cincinnati wins big this week like I think they will, I will award then next week by calling them by their given team nickname. But they’re gonna have to earn it first.

Bungles over Browns

Buffalo (1-2) at Miami (0-3)

Pennington is done for the year with a shoulder injury. Will Chad Henne be able to add a deep threat passing game to open up the running game? I don’t know, but I’m just curious enough to give him a chance because if he does, look out.

Dolphins over Bills

New York Jets (3-0) at New Orleans (3-0)

The Jets have my attention as much as the Saints. And despite what the pundits are saying, this game will not come down to the New Orleans offense versus the New York defense. This game will hinge on who performs better, the New Orleans defense or the New York offense. And I think Mark Sanchez might have a bit of trouble in the crazed Superdome. Plus, I started riding the Saints bandwagon in week one and will continue to do so until they throw me off.

Saints over Jets

Dallas (2-1) at Denver (3-0)

Yes, I know, Denver is 3-0. But I venture this, who have they played? Perhaps they are not as big of a mess as previously thought, but for me to trust them in a big game they have to prove it first. And I don’t think they can.

Cowboys over Broncos

St. Louis (0-3) at San Francisco (2-1)

I’m still digging what Singletary is doing with that team. They play tough and almost pulled out a big road win last week. This week, they get the salve of St. Louis, which should indeed help.

49ers over Rams

San Diego (2-1) at Pittsburgh (1-2)

Ok, it ends this week. I washed all the stink of losing off of my Steelers gear. I switched a few pregame rituals, remembering a few I had forgotten. And most importantly, I will be at Heinz Field this evening to turn the mojo around in person. It’s time to finish.

Steelers over Chargers

Monday

Green Bay (2-1) at Minnesota (3-0)

You know, this is a good game between division rivals, but apparently this year it’s more than that and this game will be a big deal. Why you ask? Because apparently Vikings quarterback Brett Favre used to play for Green Bay. I had no idea! Considering these two teams are division rivals, you would think news like that would be a bigger deal. Yeah, I’m slightly fatigued with the Favre versus Packers storyline. And it matters not, Brett’s not winning this game, Adrian Peterson is.

Vikings over Packers