The Crystal Ball 2008 The Championships

From 2001 to 2004, road teams followed typical historical patterns and won at best one third of all games in the divisional round. Starting in 2005, road teams that have had to play in the wild card round have won nearly half the time against the well rested bye week teams, posting close to a .500 record.

Tons of theories have been bandied about as to why this sudden increase has occurred, but I have the answer. This is the fault of the Pittsburgh Steelers. They showed every road team the path to a championship during the 2005 playoffs, and since then everyone who has gone into the playoffs as a wild card or low seeded team suddenly has hope. If you doubt this, look at last years Super Bowl champions who won three playoff games in a row, including in hostile Dallas and frigid Green Bay and then toppled the undefeated Patriots.

Pittsburgh unleashed this monster, and this year as the only remaining high seeded team, they are the only ones who can slay the creature and clean up this mess. They had the toughest road to hoe in 2005 as a road warrior sixth seed. Now they’ve navigated the most difficult schedule in the NFL and must continue that hard road not only to win a championship but also to stand up for the high seed and home field advantage. If they do not succeed, all common sense in the NFL could dissipate forever and football could become as nonsensical as baseball. And good gravy no one wants to see that except for the inept Bud Selig.


Opening Kickoff

Despite the nuttiness of the divisional round, two universal truths were proven yet again. Turnovers kill, and defense wins championships. It’s no coincidence that the top 3 defenses (Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Philadelphia in that order) are playing in the conference championship games. At least some normalcy has been maintained.


Recap

Baltimore 13 – Tennessee 10

Quite the chippy game played in Tennessee where the word of the day was attrition. It seemed after almost every play someone limped, crawled or were scraped off the field.

Baltimore showed serious signs of fatigue and injury due to 17 straight games as their defense yielded big yards through the air and on the ground and their offense had moments of getting bogged down. By all rights, they should have lost this game. But they pulled through.
Why, because Tennessee could not stop pulling a Plaxico. They made numerous stupid mistakes, racking up dumb penalties and giving Baltimore field position and keeping their offensive drives alive. But the worst was the turnovers. You can put the loss directly on the shoulders of Alge Crumpler and LenDale White. Their costly lost fumbles took away at least six potential points from the Titans, six points that would have changed the outcome of a game decided by three points. Titan fans can scream from the mountaintops about the obviously missed delay of game penalty, but Tennessee screwed themselves long before that.

A few other notes from this game:

Joe Flacco has one heck of an arm on him. I hate that the Ravens now have a good quarterback.

Hopefully, the injuries to McClain, Suggs and Rolle will severely limit both come next Sunday.

Baltimore had trouble stopping the Titan offense consistently because they kept up their habits of poor tackling. This will affect them very soon in a highly negative way.

I felt bad for Kerry Collins. He had a good game, but how can you win when others around you keep failing?

Really mature there Keith Bullock, shoving over barricades in childish frustration after losing the game. Remember what I said to you about karma after the Terrible Towel incident? Yes, this is karma you nimrod.

And speaking of Terrible Towels, after all the disrespect and making fun of such the Titans did regarding Pittsburgh’s talisman, why in the deuce did I see Titan fans twirling some blue rally towel in their stadium? Is that move by the Titans and their fans moronic, hypocritical or just asinine after making fun of the Steelers? Hmmm you got me.


Arizona 33 – Carolina 13

This game represents the biggest shock of last weekend. Sure, the Cardinals can say they knew all along they could do it, but I’m convinced everyone in their locker room was just as shocked as the rest of the world. I could go into detail about this game, but after much thought six simple words can sum up this supposed contest.

Jake Delhomme worst playoff performance ever.

And on his birthday no less!


Philadelphia 23 - New York 11

I’m not sure what was worse by the Giants, the terrible 4th quarter challenge that wasted a needed time out, the complete lack of trust in Eli Manning as the game wore on or the inability of one of the best running attacks in football to convert 2 4th and short situations. New York played tentative, terrible and their defense looked like a shell of their fierce self. Is New York now facing the curse of Harris Smith?

One big question did emerge after watching the game. What does into the teeth of the wind mean Mr. Aikman?

Now, let’s all have a moment of silence for the loss of all Manning boys from this year’s playoffs. A single tear rolls down my face.


The Steel Pit

Pittsburgh 35 – San Diego 24

I had a good feeling when Jerome Bettis came out for the coin toss, although I figured he just came to town for some Primanti Brothers.

That feeling dissipated rapidly on San Diego’s first drive and quick strike touchdown.

Fortunately, the defense tightened up and the first half became a bit of a punt fest. But then, a change overcame the Steelers. Tomlin went aggressive and the team followed. The fake punt failed and resulted in 3 San Diego points. But they were the last points the visitors would score until Pittsburgh reeled off 21 unanswered.

The offense looked alive for the first time all year. Willie Parker ran hard, fast and sure. Big Ben made quick, fast decisions and threw the ball with authority and confidence. And the offensive line, what can I say? Easily their best performance all season. They looked like a cohesive unit, forming protective pockets around Ben giving him plenty of time to throw and exploding off the line getting push up front and clearing lanes for Parker.

This cohesiveness resulted in one of the most amazing third quarters in playoff history. Thanks to two excellent drives, one fantastic special teams play and a stellar defensive performance, San Diego’s offense held the ball in the third quarter for a total of 17 seconds. 17 seconds out of 15 minutes. It still amazes me even seeing it again.

The defense did its usual bang up job, sacking Rivers 4 times, forcing turnovers and holding the much hyped Darren Sproles to 15 yards total rushing. Short of two garbage time touchdowns in the 4th quarter, the defense once again stood tall. But for once, the offense stood right with them.

The sad part of this game was watching a San Diego team stocked with talent be so poorly coached and prepared. Ok, not that sad to me. But the wonderful things were watching a young aggressive coach notch his first of potentially many playoff victories and seeing a healthy, talented and hungry team impose its will upon an opponent. Everything you could possibly want in a football game, unless you’re from southern California.

A few other notes from the game:

Who knew Big Ben could punt? I guess he needs to do extra to earn that paycheck.

Norv Turner started unraveling near the end of the first quarter, which was earlier than I predicted. He went completely overboard with the moronic challenge on the spot of the ball. Now who’s yelping of how good a coach Norv is?

Tomlin however had a great challenge on Jackson’s non catch. That saved some bacon, mainly Ike Taylor’s.

Santonio Holmes could not have picked a better time to break a punt return for a touchdown. Except perhaps if he does it again this week…

The CBS cameras just could not get enough of the Mexican wrestler Steeler fans, could they?

Is there any player more clutch than Hines Ward? Who’s house?

Once again, Willie Colon commits a dumb ass penalty that hurts a drive.

Big kudos goes out to Max Starks and Cary Davis for throwing huge blocks on Parker’s first touchdown run. That is textbook blocking and how you win a game.

The play action game ran like a Swiss watch.

You kids want to be successful defensive linemen in the NFL? Watch how Brett Keisel got his hands up and tipped the pass. That’s how you succeed; doing everything it takes to make something good happen.

So if Jerome Bettis garnered the nickname The Bus for his short yardage prowess, what does that make Gary Russell? The Van?

If that damn Ike Taylor gets burned again this week, I’m sending a pound of toast to his house.

Willie Parker, you got your groove back!

The AFC Championship now comes down to two bitter North division rivals. Anything less would be unsatisfying.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Apparently the April story regarding an argument and shooting involving Colt receiver Marvin Harrison has developed a new twist.

Cowboy Anthony Spencer was arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct outside an Indianapolis night club this week. I guess he got sick of all the Cowboy attention going to T.O., Pacman and Romo.

Tom Terrific and Gisele got engaged! Good to see he’s concentrating on that rehab.

Now, I’ve thrown more than a few football parties in my time, including Super Bowl bashes. But not once have I, the Lady K or anyone else at my place randomly started singing We Will Rock You as we set up the event. And if anyone did spontaneously break into song, I think I’d have to ban them out of general principle.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Ravens new t-shirts emblazoned with the slogan “What’s My Name?”. The team was told the story of how Muhammad Ali kept saying the phrase during his 1967 fight with Ernie Terrell and the team adopted this respect demanding mantra for their playoff run. Unfortunately for Raven fans, the answer to that question after Sunday will be Loser.

Stephen A, Smith’s interview with Pacman Jones was soft. Soft I tell ya! Why didn’t he ask the obvious question? Here’s what I’d ask. Why Pacman, considering your past troubles and reputation whether it’s warranted or otherwise, do you continue to put yourself in situations where you can either get into trouble or be accused of wrong doing? Why do you continue, despite second chance after second chance, to engage in behavior that puts your livelihood in jeopardy and your freedom in society in danger? Why do you continue to engage in self destructive behavior when you know the potential consequences legally and how it could affect your football career, the one thing that makes you stand out in our society? Come on Stephen, ditch the softball questions. You didn’t become a household name by kowtowing to athletes. Or did you?

In a stick your nose where it doesn’t belong story, select members of Congress want the Department of Labor to monitor the NFL Players Association’s search for a new executive director. Honestly, Congress can think of NOTHING more important to do with their time? They request this monitoring to ensure the integrity of the process and have requested a “detailed disclosure and description report” to be provided. Fine, I’ll go along with that as long as Congress provides to American taxpayers a detailed disclosure report showing full accountability, reasoning and repayment plans regarding every penny they hand out as part of the bailout. If they feel it’s their business to know what the NFL does, then it’s our business to know what greedy incompetent millionaire they throw money at.

In a heart in your throat moment, former Cowboy Michael Irvin had an encounter at a red light with two men armed with a gun. What saved Irvin from a potential robbery or worse was the fact the two were Cowboy fans and recognized Irvin. Fortunately this story had a happy ending, when most tales like this involving celebrities do not. But you hear about stories like this and it is no wonder why professional athletes now work hard to insulate themselves from casual fans.

Ok, how about a feel good story? Florida State safety Myron Rolle, a potential early round draft pick, has decided to eschew the NFL draft and enroll in Oxford instead and take up a Rhodes scholarship he won in November. Now there is an intelligent young man with his priorities straight, looking ahead at his education instead of going for the quick buck in the NFL.


Upon Further Review

As is always fun during this time of year, by which I mean the creation of pointless greatest of all time or best of lists, Sports Illustrated concocted a greatest of all time quarterbacks list. And while their list of eight includes quarterbacks that definitely should be in the all time discussion, 6 of the 8 played the majority of their games after the 1980 season.

By making this list so obviously slanted toward modern times, Sports Illustrated has insulted all quarterbacks that came before the 1980 demarcation line and shown their own lack of knowledge regarding the history of the NFL.

While I agree Montana and Brady should be in the discussion based upon their overall success, and Marino, Elway, Favre and Peyton Manning should be included based upon their wins and team statistics, by limiting the discussion to eight quarterbacks and skewing the timeline to modern times SI has submarined any fair or inclusive comparison by their own bias and ignorance.

I know trying to compare quarterbacks from different eras is much like comparing apples to oranges because of the times, the type of players participating, quality and quantity of competition and the changes in the game. But by looking at the Hall of Fame roster it’s hard even try without including certain players. How do you not include the recently deceased Slingin’ Sammy Baugh, who made his bones not only as a successful pro quarterback with a championship under his belt but also as a defensive back and special team ace? How do you overlook the quarterbacking prowess of Green Bay legend Bart Starr who won multiple NFL Championships and the first two Super Bowls? How can you not include Pittsburgh mainstay Terry Bradshaw, the first quarterback to win four Super Bowls?

I find it hard to accept an all time list of quarterbacks when five of the eight honored by such a list are still active players. I do not want to discount those five because their careers are still underway, because obviously their contributions to their position and game thus far have been so significant that they must be included in this discussion. But by focusing on these players and ignoring major contributors of the past, Sports Illustrated and those who put together this list show their ignorance and short sightedness when it comes to the highly exulted yet loosely granted, title of greatest of all time.

I maintain that the argument regarding the greatest of all time should always start and end with the number of championships any quarterback has won. And unless your top four are multiple championship winning Otto Graham, Joe Montana, Bart Starr and Terry Bradshaw, the order of which can be highly debated, your list is incomplete and devoid of proper knowledge and research into the history of the NFL.


Ring around the Rosie

After the success of Tomlin, Harbaugh and McDaniels it would seem this year, youth is served in the NFL.


Oakland – While everyone else is snatching up the hot young coordinators, Al Davis continues to sit back, relax, be crazy and wait. Gee, I wonder why this team continues to be a Black Hole, sucking up and destroying hope and promise year in and year out. Right now, the word is the team is looking at retread Kevin Gilbride, Mark Tressman of the CFL and out of football retread Jim Fassel. Gilbride, other than last season, has sucked everywhere especially during his stint in Pittsburgh. I know nothing about Tressman but how good can he be if he’s been playing in the CFL. And Fassel, well he couldn’t beat the defensive only team Baltimore fielded in the Super Bowl coached by the currently unemployed Brian Billick. I’m surprised at this point Al hasn’t granted an interview with former Raider Matt “franchise killer” Millen.

St. Louis – The Rams brain trust nabbed Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. Spagnuolo was hot last year, and his stock dropped a bit this year after the Giants crapped the bed at home against the Eagles. This did nothing to discourage the Rams who couldn’t stop a Boy Scout troop this season. Sadly, Spagnuolo has very little to work with in his first head coaching stint. But, at least hope flows in the Gateway to the West.

Cleveland – Pathetically, the Browns hired Jets retread Eric Mangini. I know, you can claim that Mangini got a raw deal thanks to Brett “My ego demands I play even though my body cannot deliver” Favre, but I still maintain that any coach worth his salt would realize Favre wasn’t the same guy who won the Super Bowl 12 years ago, but a cat who needed to be protected and not relied upon to win games. If Mangini was smarter, he’d know that his to go guy would be Thomas Jones, not Favre. Regardless, I cannot complain too much because this means the Steelers will continue to face an under coached team. The truly interesting part is that the Browns stole defensive coordinator Rob Ryan from Oakland as their new defensive chief. So now, four times a year Pittsburgh has to face another Ryan led defense. Somewhere Buddy Ryan sits puffed up with pride as the division continues their arms race against the Steelers.

Detroit – The Lions hired Tennessee defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz in hopes he will lead this sad excuse into some sort of light. Good move by Schwartz. Even if he only wins one game next season, it will be a monumental improvement. When expectations are that low you cannot help but succeed.

New York Favres – Their quarterback situation is no where near being resolved and even if Brett REALLY hangs them up, it’s doubtful they’ll get anything good in the draft. As for a coach, they’re waffling more than Favre did last year. No one has been hired yet, but rumors persist they are looking at Ravens defensive coordinator Rex Ryan. Fine by me, get one of the Ryan boys out of the AFC North.

Denver – In a surprise move, Pat Bowlen hired Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels as the new head coach. Additionally, they tabbed former 49er head coach Mike Nolan to lead the defense. Whether this was a good move or not has yet to be determined, but if it hurts New England it’s fine by me.

Kansas City – The Hunt family hired former Patriot executive Scott Pioli as their new general manager. Tee hee, the Patriot brain drain continues. Oh, and Herm pack your bags. Pioli is used to winners, not dinkuses.

Indianapolis – Although a tiny bit of a shock to me as I figured he would not step down after that crappy loss in San Diego, Tony Dungy did just that this week, seceding his post as head coach to previously chosen successor Jim Caldwell. Many others more famous and eloquent than I have feted Dungy this week, not only for his coaching prowess but also for his life’s work to improve the lives of others and the respect he long ago earned as a man and a person to emulate. I will not go into a soliloquy here, as I do not believe I could properly honor the person Dungy is, but I will say this. If the world had more people in it like Tony Dungy, nary a person would go hungry, cold or abandoned. Hardly would we hear of people being abused, beaten or neglected. And rarely would we hear or see people lonely, sad and alone. He was a great coach, but far more important he is a wonderful person and a great man who genuinely cares about the lives and condition of those around him, and more importantly those not. It is almost impossible to find someone who lives in the limelight who we can honestly say our children, and ourselves, should strive to emulate. But Tony Dungy truly is a person we should all strive to be more like. That is the best compliment I can think to give to this man. I wish him all the luck as he moves on to pursue his life’s work. And I wish Jim Caldwell luck in the unenviable task at trying to follow Dungy.

Seattle – the Seahawks officially introduced Jim Mora as their next head coach and Mora had his first press conference as the new head man in Seattle. Sure, that could lead to some hope in the Emerald City, but what hope can their fans really have when their new head coach hires former Raider offensive coordinator as Greg Knapp as their new offensive coordinator?

Tampa Bay – Oh, you thought we were done? Nope, not by a long shot. In the truly surprise move of the off season, the Buccaneers fired Jon Gruden and then rapidly promoted defensive coordinator Raheem Morris to the position of head coach. This tells me two things. One, is it now cemented in concrete that the only way Gruden won that Super Bowl was with Tony Dungy’s team? Can we just give him a ring from that game? And two who has had a better month than Morris? He gets promoted from defensive backs coach to defensive coordinator and then a few weeks later finds himself in the big chair. If Wall Street had the kind of luck this cat has, we’d all be driving solid gold cars.


He Said He Said

"There's a big, black, ugly bird standing between us and Tampa." – Steeler offensive tackle Max Starks.

The emphasis, obviously, is on ugly.


"I personally don't subscribe to that hocus-pocus to be honest with you.” - Steeler head coach Mike Tomlin when asked about the difficulty of beating a division opponent three times in one season.

Considering that 11 times out of 18 opportunities in NFL history the team that won the first two triumphed in the third meeting, I can see why Tomlin doesn’t subscribe to that theory. It would seem he prefers his subscription to Kick Ass Weekly.


“If I'm a Steelers fan, I'm nervous about the AFC title game, and not just because the always-tough Ravens are the opponent. Pittsburgh and hosting the AFC Championship Game just doesn't seem to mix. The Steelers have lost the past three times they've hosted the game: in 1997 to Denver, and in 2001 and 2004 to the Patriots. Those three opponents went on to win the Super Bowl.” – SI.com’s Don Banks

Oh, Don I’m nervous, but not like before for one simple fact. This time Bill Cowher is not involved. That may sound like blasphemy, but considering his track record and the fact he cut his coaching teeth under the tutelage of Marty Schottenheimer can you blame me?


"It sure won't be basketball on grass." – Pittsburgh defensive lineman Aaron Smith discussing the championship game versus Baltimore.

Only if basketball suddenly became full contact filled with pure hate.


“The league has to do something about the inequity of overtime.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Oh for heaven’s sake Peter LET IT GO. I shudder to think how insane you would be about how unfair overtime is if Tom Brady lost a playoff game in the extra quarter. I’ll give you this factoid one more time, and please let it sink into your head. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! If it were, you morons on the Hall of Fame election committee would have long ago voted Ray Guy in.


"We will beat them nine out of 10 times, but this time things didn't fall our way. I'm not taking anything away from Baltimore. I lose graciously.'' – Titans running back LenDale White

Well, if you’re saying that after getting spanked at home in the playoffs, then I just cannot believe your moronic gracious comment. Perhaps you could have had a dumber comment if you had not fumbled inside the red zone. I’ll give you this, good audition for Idiot of the Week.


“This is something that is storybook. Five NFC Championships in 10 years. That kind of shows the trust and the coaching we have with Andy.'' – Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb

Ummm, not to point out the obvious, but none of those championships yielded a Lombardi trophy and only one of them actually yielded a Super Bowl berth. So you put your trust in a man who has failed at obtaining the ultimate prize every time it’s been put in front of him? And that’s why the Philadelphia press never gives Chunky Soup man a break or fair shake.


"You want to know the 13 scariest words in professional football this year? 'For more on the Cowboys, let's go to Ed Werder at Valley Ranch.' '' – Tampa Tribune NFL writer Ira Kaufman

I’d argue, but just reading that sentence again gave me Silence of the Lambs flashbacks.


"We felt if we hustled and got bodies on bodies, we would have some vertical grass with Santonio." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

I don’t care what kind of grass is involved, as long as Holmes is playing well, he can have Kentucky Blue as long as it works.


“Ever try a famous Primanti Brothers sandwich? You'll need a jackhammer to open your arteries. Two slices of Italian bread, grilled meat, cheese, tomatoes - OK, that doesn't sound bad. But get this: It also comes with coleslaw and french fries - inside the sandwich! All of it teetering 10 stories high on waxed paper. The fries poke out of the sandwich like wriggling centipede legs. The provolone congeals into La Brea Tar Pits consistency. This will shock you: It's a big favorite of drunks. When the bars close, the Primanti's in the Strip District looks like Woodstock.” – Baltimore Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd in an article about why Ravens fans hate Pittsburgh.

Really Cowherd? This is the best insult you can muster? If this is the level of competition Pittsburgh can expect from Baltimore, ridiculous trash talking aimed at a local sandwich, then this game should be an embarrassing blowout in favor of the Steelers. Oh, and Cowherd just so you know. This weekend the Lady K and I hosted a friend from California who tasted her first Primanti Brothers sandwich ever, and she loved it. So take that, shove it in your crab cake and rotate on it.


"We picked a bad day to have a bad day.'' - Carolina coach John Fox

Is there ever a good day to have a bad day?


“To put into words, I can't. I am at a loss for words. I had a hand in six turnovers ... I should get the blame. It's inexcusable.'' – Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme.

Well, DUH!


Idiot of the week

I’d love to put Pacman in this spot for his idiotic interview with James Brown, but considering his antics Pacman could grab this spot any week. And trust me, Kevin Cowherd made serious noise with his Primanti crap, but he does not win either.

No, this week the dishonor goes to Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme for his epic meltdown against the Cardinals. The question is not why he is the idiot, but what reason should be the deal breaker. Pick one because they all work. Sure you could let him off the hook for taking the blame, but even the dumbest of morons would voluntarily fall on the grenade after a performance like Jake’s. Some might argue Panther head coach John Fox should be anointed head idiot for even sending Delhomme out there in the second half, but what else did he have to work with? So for generating six turnovers, terrible decision making, repeatedly throwing into double coverage and ignoring the single covered receiver, general poor performance and losing in the playoffs at home to the Cardinals, Jake Delhomme you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

I have no excuse or, more importantly explanation, for last week.

Last week 1-3
Playoffs 2-6
Season 166 – 106

As I mentioned last week, historically the home team in the divisional round has won 3 out of the 4 games played and last weekend we saw the home team lose 3 out of the 4 games. The only reason I can figure is this is just one more piece of evidence to show this could possibly be the weirdest season ever in the NFL. If it is, in two weeks we’ll see a rookie quarterback go against the Cardinals. For Pete’s sake I certainly hope this is not the weirdest season ever.


Sunday

Philadelphia (11-6-1) at Arizona (11-7)

Thanks to Jake Delhomme, I now have to say the weirdest sentence I’ve ever uttered: The Arizona Cardinals are in the NFC Championship game. And thanks to the Giants, I have to say the second weirdest sentence I’ve ever uttered: The Arizona Cardinals will be hosting the NFC Championship game. Until right now, the only NFC team since the 1970 merger to not make it to the NFC Championship game was Arizona. That has now changed. I hate to pick against them again, but something tells me we’re headed for an all Pennsylvania Super Bowl. Or perhaps that’s just misguided hope.

Eagles over Cardinals


Baltimore (13-5) at Pittsburgh (13-4)

Bring your chinstraps and make sure they are secured tightly, because this one will be a slobber knocker. They hate us, we hate them, and this time it’s for a trip to the Super Bowl. Now, much column space and hot air has been expended this week about the supposed difficulty of beating a team three times in one season. But let’s throw this interesting little factoid into the mix. Historically when Pittsburgh has played a division opponent for the third time, they’ve gone 7-0 in the playoff game. That does not account for what they did during the regular season, but I say it is a good omen. Even if I weren’t a totally unabashed homer, I’d still pick Pittsburgh because their healthier (see Rolle, McClain, Suggs), fresher having not had to play 17 straight weeks of football, have a more experience quarterback and are just plain better. Ok, that last one was a total homer opinion. But come on, Pittsburgh is far better in every aspect! Turnpike Super Bowl here we come!

Steelers over Ravens