The Crystal Ball 2008 The Super Bust

Again I must revise the weirdest sentence I’ve ever uttered. This week, it is now the Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl. I better darn well not have to revise this sentence again.


Opening Kickoff

I’ve gotta feeling, Pittsburgh’s going to the Super Bowl……Nothing like turning on the Pittsburgh area news and spending the first 10 minutes of the broadcast watching Steelers reports and updates. Ahhh, this must be nirvana.


Recap

Arizona 32 – Philadelphia 25

So much for that trust in Andy Reid

I’ll give Arizona a ton of credit for building a big lead and then not folding once the Eagles pulled ahead late in the game. As a matter of fact, Arizona’s game winning drive is the type that legends are built upon. But I take this away from that game. Their defense is weak and can be exploited by a good offense. And if it stays on the field too long, it tires easily and gives up big plays. Tomlin I hope you took note as well.

Also their offense, while prolific, can be stopped by a tough defense. The Eagles defense is tough, but perhaps the only thing that can stop the Cardinals is the number one ranked defense in the league.

Did anyone else wonder why McNabb was smiling the entire game? He had this look like he knew something no one else did. Perhaps he should have shared that mysterious knowledge with his defense on that last Arizona drive.

One point I have to bring up, because the yakking about it afterward has driven me nuts. Everyone has been peeing themselves about the innovative Cardinal offense, specifically the flea flicker/throwback to Warner who then threw a bomb to Fitzgerald that netted a touchdown. Ummm, how short memories most have. If anyone cares to learn their history of the game, this play is not new. I’m not even talking way back history where we could probably find evidence of it I’m talking three years ago. Pittsburgh busted this play out in the 2005 AFC Wildcard round against the Bungles, and it netted a touchdown. And last year the Patriots scammed this same play and laid it on Pittsburgh, torching Anthony Smith and scored a touchdown. Look, I know the play is sweet and will not debate that. But it’s not innovative and fresh.

Despite that, good on Ken Whisenhunt for so rapidly turning around the culture of the Arizona franchise where they believe they can be winners. That is one heck of a job and no matter what happens this week, he should be lauded for his work. But let’s also thank Denny Green. Yes, you heard me right we should thank Denny Green. Because he left the cabinets in Arizona stocked with some decent pieces with which Whiz used to build his Super Bowl entrant. Denny, you were more than we thought you were.


The Steel Pit

Pittsburgh 23 – Baltimore 14

Unbelievable!

Without a doubt that was some of the hardest hitting I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised someone didn’t get killed, and at one point it looked like that did happen. The Steelers resolve allowed them to overcome Ben taking a vicious, and very late hit, the loss of Hines Ward, a minor injury to James Harrison, and some horrid officiating, which we will cover in a bit. But some highlights of the game.

Hmmm, Mitch Berger had a nice tackle that caused a fumble, not too bad. At least it made up for a few of his poor punts.

Santonio Holmes had a beautiful touchdown thanks to Big Ben’s improvisation. Sometimes a play like that ends in disaster but when it works magic.

This game became one of attrition right from the start, with players falling from opening kickoff. One Baltimore player walked off the field unsteadily to the Steeler sideline. Suffice to say he had a concussion and did not return.

Baltimore also had more players from their injured secondary go out of the game, thus decimating their secondary more.

After a bad interference call led to Baltimore’s first touchdown you could clearly hear the crowd chanting Bullshit. I love Pittsburgh.

Limas Sweed dropped and easy touchdown. While that’s not a crime, what was a crime was him lying on the ground afterward thus costing Pittsburgh its last time out of the first half and at least three points.

He did make up for it by laying a wicked block on Corey Ivy clearing a few yards for Heath Miller. The Hines Ward effect showing itself within the Pittsburgh receiving corps.

Despite Hines being out, Heath Miller and Holmes came up huge. We could be ok, if Hines is not 100%

Jeff Reed consistently got the job done. I loved the story that he told the team he’d dye his hair platinum blond if they made the playoffs. Something tells me it wasn’t much of a sacrifice for reed to dye his hair.

For the umpteenth week, Willie Colon caused a penalty that caused a drive to go crappy. I’m almost superstitious enough to think if he doesn’t garner a bad penalty, we might not do well.

Pittsburgh started letting a lesser team hang around, and the only thing that could turn it around was a game changing defensive play. Troy Polamalu, come on down!

Ryan Clark/Willis McGahee, the microcosm of the violence of this game.

McGahee was carted off the field, much like Roethlisberger in the Browns game. Both teams prayed for Willis and afterwards the game went on almost anticlimactically. Mercifully, McGahee was released from the hospital the next day, and is on the road to recovery and looks as though he will recover fully. I cannot speak for all Steeler fans, but I know the ones around me were even praying he would be ok, and relieved to find out he would be. Yes, I cannot stand the Ravens, but you never ever want to see someone seriously hurt.

This felt, and might have been, the longest AFC championship game ever!

There was much talk before the game about the otherworldly Ed Reed. Many were predicting he would make for a very bad day for Ben Roethlisberger. But not many were talking about the other best safety in the AFC, one Troy Polamalu except to say that his injured calf could limit him severely. So what happened during the game? Troy was everywhere. It seemed on almost every play, a whirlwind of hair was involved in the tackle. Troy even went over the top to physically pull back Flacco to prevent a first down. And of course, his interception return for a touchdown put the finishing touches on a magnificent game.

And what about Ed Reed, well he was harder to find in that game than Waldo. So much for hype. Keep that in mind Cardinal fans as you pin your hopes on Fitzgerald.

Now, let’s move on to the Hines Ward injury. Yes a sprained knee ligament is serious and could limit him. But this is Hines Ward and he will be well enough for the Super Bowl. He all but guaranteed that. And you can put that in the Joe Namath wing of guarantees.

Now, to the most distasteful part of the game, the horrid officiating served up by the “officials” that worked the game. I, and many, have been complaining all season long about the quality of officiating all season, and this game proved a microcosm of how bad it really is. I do not want to spread sour grapes, and I know it was terrible on both sides. Mitch Berger should get an Oscar for that acting job that drew a penalty. But this is out of control and if Roger Goodell does not recognize the seriousness of it and address the issue in the offseason, he will begin losing fans and fast.

Both McFadden and Taylor were victims of terrible pass interference calls, each of which directly led to Baltimore touchdowns. It wasn’t until the Baltimore line horse collared Harrison that finally the officials called holding. It’s embarrassing for the NFL that it had to come to such a severe penalty before they would call holding against Baltimore. Three times by my count Baltimore defenders hit and drilled Big Ben into the ground and yet not once was a roughing the passer penalty called. I’ll yell this from the mountaintops like Don Quixote searching for his windmill, but if the NFL wants fans to take seriously their edict regarding protecting the quarterback, then their officiating crews need to call the penalties as they occur. After one blatant hit, Roethlisberger was sequestered in a Pittsburgh tunnel talking with trainers and Bruce Arians holding his back while Leftwich warmed up on the sidelines. If the NFL wants people to take their call for quarterback protection seriously, then call the penalties on the field as they occur. That the late hit on Roethlisberger that injured him was not called was ridiculous and anyone watching with a cursory knowledge of the rules of football could easily see it.

Now that being said I always say that a good team will overcome adversity and find a way to win. Pittsburgh did that, and now I get to watch them win an unprecedented sixth Super Bowl. Maybe, just maybe, I could see two as an adult. Dare a young boy dream…..


NFL The Alternative Universe

And let the comparisons begin!

Yes, we all saw Anquan Boldin blowing up with Todd Haley near the end of the NFC Championship game. We all know about it, they say it’s not a distraction and they’re most likely correct. But the longer everyone talks about it, and the more questions people ask and the more it is rehashed, it automatically becomes a distraction. More on this in the big Super Bowl blowout coming this weekend.

A sign in University of Phoenix stadium next to the Warner family read: “We are who nobody thought we were.” The Cardinal fan base may be small, but at least they’re clever.

Ok, so who’s ready for the big top? The Cowboy circus, since not on the NFL main stage, has kicked into high gear just to get some attention. So the latest update, and I know I’m missing stuff; I just cannot keep up with it all and my daily 12 hours of Steeler coverage.

- Accusations of tardiness and laziness flew about, including charges that the Cowboy charter left late 5 out of 8 times, not just because of late players but also Jerry Jones
- A general attitude of unruliness and inmates running the asylum permeates the team.
- Romo has demonstrated bad practice habits, and has not changed.
- Some members of the team lost respect for Jason Garrett for not reeling in Romo and his behavior
- Cowboy legend Troy Aikman publicly called out Tony Romo.
- There are plans for a Cowboy reality show where the winner will get a guaranteed spot on the Cowboys training camp roster. The proposed host is Michael Irvin and one of the judges is, of course, Jerry Jones.
- TO has been green lit for his own reality show where fans will get to see his life off the field. I don’t know if I could tune in for a half hour each week to watch him pump iron in his driveway.

I find this all entertaining, like watching a cartoon car crash. My question is this, with the talent on the team and obviously no institutional control from the coaching staff or ownership, does anyone think adding reality shows to the current circus atmosphere is really a good idea?

Did you hear about the Cardinal fans that burned Cardinal phrases into the lawn of Donovan McNabb’s offseason home in Chandler Arizona? My favorite part of this story is how the perpetrators left their address on a box they left in his driveway. I wonder if that stupidity comes because they just have had no experience in celebrating winning, or that they just learned from watching Raider fans.


Upon Further Review

If you recall, in week 7 I made a point to bring up the need for teams to practice good fundamentals. Specifically, I spoke about proper blocking and tackling techniques. That week I noticed four teams that did a very poor job in following the fundamentals, and I said at that point that none of those teams would win the championship. I believe I even predicted none would make the playoffs. Well, how did our four teams fair?

Baltimore Ravens – the Ravens did make the playoffs, and the AFC Championship game. However, they were beaten soundly by a team that does practice the fundamentals.

San Diego Chargers – Somehow, these kids did manage to win their division, make the playoffs and move to the divisional round. But they, too, were beaten soundly by a team that does practice the fundamentals.

Denver Broncos – At one point, they were 8-5 and had a hold on their division. Then they dropped three straight games, lost their division, a shot at the playoffs and then their head coach. I guess fundamentals could be important.

Dallas Cowboys – One of the most spectacular implosions in recent memory. They blew big games, still had chances to make the playoffs, and then completely collapsed in the last game of the season against Philadelphia. Since then, nothing good has happened. Well, if you love unintentional comedy tons of good things have happened.

So, what have we learned? If you practice the fundamentals and concentrate on execution of plays, good things will happen. If not, well, you end up with TO on a reality show.


The Super Bust

Welcome one and all to this year’s Super Bust! I still await the official inception of this great game, but alas Commissioner Goodell seems to always have other fish to fry at the moment. No matter, the game will go on, if only in the twinkling lights of our imagination! And perhaps one day, we can all sit in a stadium far off and witness this beautiful game in actuality.

As stated upon its inception, The Super Bust would match the two consensus pre season favorites to play in the Super Bowl, yet failed to get there, against each other. This game allows a great many good things to happen. As we detailed in the past, here is a partial list of everything the Super Bust would provide.

- A chance for two fan bases to see their team in action one more time before next season
- An added opportunity for one team to end their season with a win.
- Some extra earnings for players, even though many do not need it.
- A chance for each organization to strengthen their team monetarily and physically with added income as well as additional draft choices
- An opportunity to show how wrong most prognosticators really are
- An extra game of football
- A weekend of football and fun in Las Vegas
- A perfect excuse to go to Las Vegas (like you need one anyway)
- An excuse to have another big game party, this one where the game does not matter
- A chance to use the game as a warm up to your real party the next week for the Super Bowl. Try out those far out recipes you think may not work on the real game day. Almost like a Pre Super Bowl Exhibition Party.
- Staving off football withdraw for another two weeks
- Another game for the NFL Network to show, giving more practice to both their broadcast crews and technical crews, both of which need some work (8 games a season just are not cutting it)
- Something for the sports media to talk about during the dead time when all other Super Bowl stories and angles have been beaten to death
- food and service industries seeing a bigger bump in production and sales, thus adding more stimulus to the economy
- Businesses around the world that have a stake in football seeing an increased profit, adding even more stimulus to the economy
- The advertising industry having another forum to debut killer commercials, almost like an exhibition commercial season
- Better play from the preseason favorites during the regular season, since none of them would want to play in the Super Bust

So this year, the NFC entrant will be the wonderful Dallas Cowboys, who went from preseason favorite to candidate for group therapy.

The AFC entrant of course is the New England Patriots, who stamped their ticket when Tom Terrific went down. Oh, they fought it hard, but deep down they knew where they were headed.

My Super Bust pick this year will be….New England! I cannot wait to see how it turns out!

(The “actual” results will be revealed in our big Super Bowl blowout. Stay tuned.)


He Said He Said

“Why are so many low seeds winning the title?” – SI.com’s Peter King

Because Pittsburgh cleared the way in 2005 that's why. They shall rectify that problem come Sunday.


"I want to say 'Arizona Cardinals' and 'Super Bowl' in the same sentence. The Arizona Cardinals and the Super Bowl. How about it?" - Kurt Warner

You can say it, I still cannot believe it. I think the devil just turned the thermostat up a bit.


"It's personally going to be very meaningful to me facing the Steelers. I'm here because of the training I got there. That's a great football team. I'm proud of the guys we coached there. I'm proud of Ben and how he's grown. It's really going to be a lot of fun.'' – Arizona head coach Ken Whisenhunt

Come on Ken, just say it. You want to show Dan he made a terrible mistake.


"Here's my advice to the Arizona Cardinals: Don't rush Ben Roethlisberger. That makes him a playground football player. That's what he is, and he's a damn good one." - Baltimore defensive lineman Trevor Pryce

Speaking as one who knows all too well.


"Don't shed any tears for me. I got to live a dream most people don't get to live.'' – Former Colts head coach Tony Dungy

I just hope his future is as successful as his past.


"Barack is selling hope. And I'm buying.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Aren’t we all?


"That was just ... so violent. These two teams play violently. You look out there and can't believe the hits you're seeing.'' – Steelers backup quarterback Byron Leftwich

You think Byron might look for a job in the NFC next year after seeing that?


"Seems like this was 10-times worse than the regular season against them. They had a chip on their shoulder out there, maybe because we beat them twice during the regular season. Whatever, it was rough out there.'' - Steelers OLB LaMarr Woodley

That’s an understatement. I was sore Monday and all I did was watch.


"I think, without a doubt, this is the best defense I've ever played on. This team had to rely more on its defense than the 2005 team.'' – Steelers SS Troy Polamalu

Troy, I hate to ask much more, but we’ll need to rely on you guys for just sixty minutes more.


“Berating any player on the sidelines during a game is poor coaching (rebukes should come in private), let alone berating a player who's normally a top performer. That (Andy) Reid lost his temper when the team needed him to stay focused possibly suggests he has trouble handling pressure.” – ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook

Now, considering his track record, who would ever have imagined Andy Reid having trouble handling pressure?


"We are definitely not going to cut him out. We are going to save a seat on the bus for 86." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on the status of injured Hines Ward

Like you could cut him out of game plan if you tried. He’d walk to Tampa to play in the Super Bowl.


"Our secret? We try to put a team on the field every year that can win a championship. And we never take a year off." – Steelers president Art Rooney II on the success of the Steelers

Lions fans, take note. Scratch that, fans of all teams take note


Ring around the Rosie

Oakland – Surprise, surprise no one has been hired.

New York Favres – the Jets plucked defensive coordinator Rex Ryan from Baltimore for their head coaching vacancy. Since they hired him Monday, it makes you wonder if his mind was elsewhere during the AFC championship game. If I’m a Raven’s fan I’m pissed for yet another reason.

Kansas City - in a surprise to no one, Pioli sacked Herm Edwards. A few names have been flown around, but no decisions have been made.


Idiot of the week

As I’ve mentioned before, some weeks the idiots just flow like a river. So who gets it this week? Jerry Jones for not realizing the biggest problem with the Cowboys is himself? Most media outlets for rapidly backtracking on statements the Cardinals were the worst playoff team ever after they finished off Philadelphia to punch their ticket to the Super Bowl? Total Access for offering milquetoast observations and having no one on their program brave enough to give and back up an honest but possibly divisive opinion? No, no and should be but no.

This week we honor the NFL, for their asinine idea to introduce a trophy towel. Someone in the NFL marketing brain trust decided it would be a good idea to introduce a bath sized towel to hand out to players after the Super Bowl and conference championships, so the players have something else to celebrate with and fans could have one more piece of memorabilia to purchase. I imagine they hope to introduce these to all teams eventually. Now, despite the obvious rip off of the Terrible Towel, this is an awful idea. You think players want to be waving around a bath sized towel? You think Steeler players will even consider that when they have a built in piece of memorabilia with which to celebrate already in towel form?

Despite the obvious rip off, it also is insulting to Steeler fans and the Terrible Towel. No, not because of some sports related or jinx type thought, but because it’s mere profit grabbing. They are trying to glean off of the Terrible Towel’s popularity to make a crass buck. But the Terrible Towel does not make a buck, it gives back. Profits from every single towel sold go to charity. Will the trophy towel do the same? Uhhhhh, no, I highly doubt it. I know economic times are tough, but does the NFL really need to make a buck this bad?

So, for ripping off a Pittsburgh tradition, and doing a poor job of it, while insulting an entire fan base and the late creator of the Terrible Towel and minimizing the good said tradition does for charity, NFL you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. There was no football this week. We got a bitter taste of what the next 7 months hold for us. And you know what? I did not like it at all. Sure, winter sports, basketball, hockey, the upcoming motorsports and baseball seasons and dozens of other smaller sports are entertaining, but they are not football. Sigh. At least next week will have one delicious entrée left on which we can all gorge. And we must, as the winter months will soon bring hibernation from the NFL without so much as a bread crumb from which to gain sustenance. So grab your forks and napkins and prepare to dig in, as next week’s buffet had best last us all.

The Crystal Ball 2008 The Championships

From 2001 to 2004, road teams followed typical historical patterns and won at best one third of all games in the divisional round. Starting in 2005, road teams that have had to play in the wild card round have won nearly half the time against the well rested bye week teams, posting close to a .500 record.

Tons of theories have been bandied about as to why this sudden increase has occurred, but I have the answer. This is the fault of the Pittsburgh Steelers. They showed every road team the path to a championship during the 2005 playoffs, and since then everyone who has gone into the playoffs as a wild card or low seeded team suddenly has hope. If you doubt this, look at last years Super Bowl champions who won three playoff games in a row, including in hostile Dallas and frigid Green Bay and then toppled the undefeated Patriots.

Pittsburgh unleashed this monster, and this year as the only remaining high seeded team, they are the only ones who can slay the creature and clean up this mess. They had the toughest road to hoe in 2005 as a road warrior sixth seed. Now they’ve navigated the most difficult schedule in the NFL and must continue that hard road not only to win a championship but also to stand up for the high seed and home field advantage. If they do not succeed, all common sense in the NFL could dissipate forever and football could become as nonsensical as baseball. And good gravy no one wants to see that except for the inept Bud Selig.


Opening Kickoff

Despite the nuttiness of the divisional round, two universal truths were proven yet again. Turnovers kill, and defense wins championships. It’s no coincidence that the top 3 defenses (Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Philadelphia in that order) are playing in the conference championship games. At least some normalcy has been maintained.


Recap

Baltimore 13 – Tennessee 10

Quite the chippy game played in Tennessee where the word of the day was attrition. It seemed after almost every play someone limped, crawled or were scraped off the field.

Baltimore showed serious signs of fatigue and injury due to 17 straight games as their defense yielded big yards through the air and on the ground and their offense had moments of getting bogged down. By all rights, they should have lost this game. But they pulled through.
Why, because Tennessee could not stop pulling a Plaxico. They made numerous stupid mistakes, racking up dumb penalties and giving Baltimore field position and keeping their offensive drives alive. But the worst was the turnovers. You can put the loss directly on the shoulders of Alge Crumpler and LenDale White. Their costly lost fumbles took away at least six potential points from the Titans, six points that would have changed the outcome of a game decided by three points. Titan fans can scream from the mountaintops about the obviously missed delay of game penalty, but Tennessee screwed themselves long before that.

A few other notes from this game:

Joe Flacco has one heck of an arm on him. I hate that the Ravens now have a good quarterback.

Hopefully, the injuries to McClain, Suggs and Rolle will severely limit both come next Sunday.

Baltimore had trouble stopping the Titan offense consistently because they kept up their habits of poor tackling. This will affect them very soon in a highly negative way.

I felt bad for Kerry Collins. He had a good game, but how can you win when others around you keep failing?

Really mature there Keith Bullock, shoving over barricades in childish frustration after losing the game. Remember what I said to you about karma after the Terrible Towel incident? Yes, this is karma you nimrod.

And speaking of Terrible Towels, after all the disrespect and making fun of such the Titans did regarding Pittsburgh’s talisman, why in the deuce did I see Titan fans twirling some blue rally towel in their stadium? Is that move by the Titans and their fans moronic, hypocritical or just asinine after making fun of the Steelers? Hmmm you got me.


Arizona 33 – Carolina 13

This game represents the biggest shock of last weekend. Sure, the Cardinals can say they knew all along they could do it, but I’m convinced everyone in their locker room was just as shocked as the rest of the world. I could go into detail about this game, but after much thought six simple words can sum up this supposed contest.

Jake Delhomme worst playoff performance ever.

And on his birthday no less!


Philadelphia 23 - New York 11

I’m not sure what was worse by the Giants, the terrible 4th quarter challenge that wasted a needed time out, the complete lack of trust in Eli Manning as the game wore on or the inability of one of the best running attacks in football to convert 2 4th and short situations. New York played tentative, terrible and their defense looked like a shell of their fierce self. Is New York now facing the curse of Harris Smith?

One big question did emerge after watching the game. What does into the teeth of the wind mean Mr. Aikman?

Now, let’s all have a moment of silence for the loss of all Manning boys from this year’s playoffs. A single tear rolls down my face.


The Steel Pit

Pittsburgh 35 – San Diego 24

I had a good feeling when Jerome Bettis came out for the coin toss, although I figured he just came to town for some Primanti Brothers.

That feeling dissipated rapidly on San Diego’s first drive and quick strike touchdown.

Fortunately, the defense tightened up and the first half became a bit of a punt fest. But then, a change overcame the Steelers. Tomlin went aggressive and the team followed. The fake punt failed and resulted in 3 San Diego points. But they were the last points the visitors would score until Pittsburgh reeled off 21 unanswered.

The offense looked alive for the first time all year. Willie Parker ran hard, fast and sure. Big Ben made quick, fast decisions and threw the ball with authority and confidence. And the offensive line, what can I say? Easily their best performance all season. They looked like a cohesive unit, forming protective pockets around Ben giving him plenty of time to throw and exploding off the line getting push up front and clearing lanes for Parker.

This cohesiveness resulted in one of the most amazing third quarters in playoff history. Thanks to two excellent drives, one fantastic special teams play and a stellar defensive performance, San Diego’s offense held the ball in the third quarter for a total of 17 seconds. 17 seconds out of 15 minutes. It still amazes me even seeing it again.

The defense did its usual bang up job, sacking Rivers 4 times, forcing turnovers and holding the much hyped Darren Sproles to 15 yards total rushing. Short of two garbage time touchdowns in the 4th quarter, the defense once again stood tall. But for once, the offense stood right with them.

The sad part of this game was watching a San Diego team stocked with talent be so poorly coached and prepared. Ok, not that sad to me. But the wonderful things were watching a young aggressive coach notch his first of potentially many playoff victories and seeing a healthy, talented and hungry team impose its will upon an opponent. Everything you could possibly want in a football game, unless you’re from southern California.

A few other notes from the game:

Who knew Big Ben could punt? I guess he needs to do extra to earn that paycheck.

Norv Turner started unraveling near the end of the first quarter, which was earlier than I predicted. He went completely overboard with the moronic challenge on the spot of the ball. Now who’s yelping of how good a coach Norv is?

Tomlin however had a great challenge on Jackson’s non catch. That saved some bacon, mainly Ike Taylor’s.

Santonio Holmes could not have picked a better time to break a punt return for a touchdown. Except perhaps if he does it again this week…

The CBS cameras just could not get enough of the Mexican wrestler Steeler fans, could they?

Is there any player more clutch than Hines Ward? Who’s house?

Once again, Willie Colon commits a dumb ass penalty that hurts a drive.

Big kudos goes out to Max Starks and Cary Davis for throwing huge blocks on Parker’s first touchdown run. That is textbook blocking and how you win a game.

The play action game ran like a Swiss watch.

You kids want to be successful defensive linemen in the NFL? Watch how Brett Keisel got his hands up and tipped the pass. That’s how you succeed; doing everything it takes to make something good happen.

So if Jerome Bettis garnered the nickname The Bus for his short yardage prowess, what does that make Gary Russell? The Van?

If that damn Ike Taylor gets burned again this week, I’m sending a pound of toast to his house.

Willie Parker, you got your groove back!

The AFC Championship now comes down to two bitter North division rivals. Anything less would be unsatisfying.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Apparently the April story regarding an argument and shooting involving Colt receiver Marvin Harrison has developed a new twist.

Cowboy Anthony Spencer was arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct outside an Indianapolis night club this week. I guess he got sick of all the Cowboy attention going to T.O., Pacman and Romo.

Tom Terrific and Gisele got engaged! Good to see he’s concentrating on that rehab.

Now, I’ve thrown more than a few football parties in my time, including Super Bowl bashes. But not once have I, the Lady K or anyone else at my place randomly started singing We Will Rock You as we set up the event. And if anyone did spontaneously break into song, I think I’d have to ban them out of general principle.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Ravens new t-shirts emblazoned with the slogan “What’s My Name?”. The team was told the story of how Muhammad Ali kept saying the phrase during his 1967 fight with Ernie Terrell and the team adopted this respect demanding mantra for their playoff run. Unfortunately for Raven fans, the answer to that question after Sunday will be Loser.

Stephen A, Smith’s interview with Pacman Jones was soft. Soft I tell ya! Why didn’t he ask the obvious question? Here’s what I’d ask. Why Pacman, considering your past troubles and reputation whether it’s warranted or otherwise, do you continue to put yourself in situations where you can either get into trouble or be accused of wrong doing? Why do you continue, despite second chance after second chance, to engage in behavior that puts your livelihood in jeopardy and your freedom in society in danger? Why do you continue to engage in self destructive behavior when you know the potential consequences legally and how it could affect your football career, the one thing that makes you stand out in our society? Come on Stephen, ditch the softball questions. You didn’t become a household name by kowtowing to athletes. Or did you?

In a stick your nose where it doesn’t belong story, select members of Congress want the Department of Labor to monitor the NFL Players Association’s search for a new executive director. Honestly, Congress can think of NOTHING more important to do with their time? They request this monitoring to ensure the integrity of the process and have requested a “detailed disclosure and description report” to be provided. Fine, I’ll go along with that as long as Congress provides to American taxpayers a detailed disclosure report showing full accountability, reasoning and repayment plans regarding every penny they hand out as part of the bailout. If they feel it’s their business to know what the NFL does, then it’s our business to know what greedy incompetent millionaire they throw money at.

In a heart in your throat moment, former Cowboy Michael Irvin had an encounter at a red light with two men armed with a gun. What saved Irvin from a potential robbery or worse was the fact the two were Cowboy fans and recognized Irvin. Fortunately this story had a happy ending, when most tales like this involving celebrities do not. But you hear about stories like this and it is no wonder why professional athletes now work hard to insulate themselves from casual fans.

Ok, how about a feel good story? Florida State safety Myron Rolle, a potential early round draft pick, has decided to eschew the NFL draft and enroll in Oxford instead and take up a Rhodes scholarship he won in November. Now there is an intelligent young man with his priorities straight, looking ahead at his education instead of going for the quick buck in the NFL.


Upon Further Review

As is always fun during this time of year, by which I mean the creation of pointless greatest of all time or best of lists, Sports Illustrated concocted a greatest of all time quarterbacks list. And while their list of eight includes quarterbacks that definitely should be in the all time discussion, 6 of the 8 played the majority of their games after the 1980 season.

By making this list so obviously slanted toward modern times, Sports Illustrated has insulted all quarterbacks that came before the 1980 demarcation line and shown their own lack of knowledge regarding the history of the NFL.

While I agree Montana and Brady should be in the discussion based upon their overall success, and Marino, Elway, Favre and Peyton Manning should be included based upon their wins and team statistics, by limiting the discussion to eight quarterbacks and skewing the timeline to modern times SI has submarined any fair or inclusive comparison by their own bias and ignorance.

I know trying to compare quarterbacks from different eras is much like comparing apples to oranges because of the times, the type of players participating, quality and quantity of competition and the changes in the game. But by looking at the Hall of Fame roster it’s hard even try without including certain players. How do you not include the recently deceased Slingin’ Sammy Baugh, who made his bones not only as a successful pro quarterback with a championship under his belt but also as a defensive back and special team ace? How do you overlook the quarterbacking prowess of Green Bay legend Bart Starr who won multiple NFL Championships and the first two Super Bowls? How can you not include Pittsburgh mainstay Terry Bradshaw, the first quarterback to win four Super Bowls?

I find it hard to accept an all time list of quarterbacks when five of the eight honored by such a list are still active players. I do not want to discount those five because their careers are still underway, because obviously their contributions to their position and game thus far have been so significant that they must be included in this discussion. But by focusing on these players and ignoring major contributors of the past, Sports Illustrated and those who put together this list show their ignorance and short sightedness when it comes to the highly exulted yet loosely granted, title of greatest of all time.

I maintain that the argument regarding the greatest of all time should always start and end with the number of championships any quarterback has won. And unless your top four are multiple championship winning Otto Graham, Joe Montana, Bart Starr and Terry Bradshaw, the order of which can be highly debated, your list is incomplete and devoid of proper knowledge and research into the history of the NFL.


Ring around the Rosie

After the success of Tomlin, Harbaugh and McDaniels it would seem this year, youth is served in the NFL.


Oakland – While everyone else is snatching up the hot young coordinators, Al Davis continues to sit back, relax, be crazy and wait. Gee, I wonder why this team continues to be a Black Hole, sucking up and destroying hope and promise year in and year out. Right now, the word is the team is looking at retread Kevin Gilbride, Mark Tressman of the CFL and out of football retread Jim Fassel. Gilbride, other than last season, has sucked everywhere especially during his stint in Pittsburgh. I know nothing about Tressman but how good can he be if he’s been playing in the CFL. And Fassel, well he couldn’t beat the defensive only team Baltimore fielded in the Super Bowl coached by the currently unemployed Brian Billick. I’m surprised at this point Al hasn’t granted an interview with former Raider Matt “franchise killer” Millen.

St. Louis – The Rams brain trust nabbed Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. Spagnuolo was hot last year, and his stock dropped a bit this year after the Giants crapped the bed at home against the Eagles. This did nothing to discourage the Rams who couldn’t stop a Boy Scout troop this season. Sadly, Spagnuolo has very little to work with in his first head coaching stint. But, at least hope flows in the Gateway to the West.

Cleveland – Pathetically, the Browns hired Jets retread Eric Mangini. I know, you can claim that Mangini got a raw deal thanks to Brett “My ego demands I play even though my body cannot deliver” Favre, but I still maintain that any coach worth his salt would realize Favre wasn’t the same guy who won the Super Bowl 12 years ago, but a cat who needed to be protected and not relied upon to win games. If Mangini was smarter, he’d know that his to go guy would be Thomas Jones, not Favre. Regardless, I cannot complain too much because this means the Steelers will continue to face an under coached team. The truly interesting part is that the Browns stole defensive coordinator Rob Ryan from Oakland as their new defensive chief. So now, four times a year Pittsburgh has to face another Ryan led defense. Somewhere Buddy Ryan sits puffed up with pride as the division continues their arms race against the Steelers.

Detroit – The Lions hired Tennessee defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz in hopes he will lead this sad excuse into some sort of light. Good move by Schwartz. Even if he only wins one game next season, it will be a monumental improvement. When expectations are that low you cannot help but succeed.

New York Favres – Their quarterback situation is no where near being resolved and even if Brett REALLY hangs them up, it’s doubtful they’ll get anything good in the draft. As for a coach, they’re waffling more than Favre did last year. No one has been hired yet, but rumors persist they are looking at Ravens defensive coordinator Rex Ryan. Fine by me, get one of the Ryan boys out of the AFC North.

Denver – In a surprise move, Pat Bowlen hired Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels as the new head coach. Additionally, they tabbed former 49er head coach Mike Nolan to lead the defense. Whether this was a good move or not has yet to be determined, but if it hurts New England it’s fine by me.

Kansas City – The Hunt family hired former Patriot executive Scott Pioli as their new general manager. Tee hee, the Patriot brain drain continues. Oh, and Herm pack your bags. Pioli is used to winners, not dinkuses.

Indianapolis – Although a tiny bit of a shock to me as I figured he would not step down after that crappy loss in San Diego, Tony Dungy did just that this week, seceding his post as head coach to previously chosen successor Jim Caldwell. Many others more famous and eloquent than I have feted Dungy this week, not only for his coaching prowess but also for his life’s work to improve the lives of others and the respect he long ago earned as a man and a person to emulate. I will not go into a soliloquy here, as I do not believe I could properly honor the person Dungy is, but I will say this. If the world had more people in it like Tony Dungy, nary a person would go hungry, cold or abandoned. Hardly would we hear of people being abused, beaten or neglected. And rarely would we hear or see people lonely, sad and alone. He was a great coach, but far more important he is a wonderful person and a great man who genuinely cares about the lives and condition of those around him, and more importantly those not. It is almost impossible to find someone who lives in the limelight who we can honestly say our children, and ourselves, should strive to emulate. But Tony Dungy truly is a person we should all strive to be more like. That is the best compliment I can think to give to this man. I wish him all the luck as he moves on to pursue his life’s work. And I wish Jim Caldwell luck in the unenviable task at trying to follow Dungy.

Seattle – the Seahawks officially introduced Jim Mora as their next head coach and Mora had his first press conference as the new head man in Seattle. Sure, that could lead to some hope in the Emerald City, but what hope can their fans really have when their new head coach hires former Raider offensive coordinator as Greg Knapp as their new offensive coordinator?

Tampa Bay – Oh, you thought we were done? Nope, not by a long shot. In the truly surprise move of the off season, the Buccaneers fired Jon Gruden and then rapidly promoted defensive coordinator Raheem Morris to the position of head coach. This tells me two things. One, is it now cemented in concrete that the only way Gruden won that Super Bowl was with Tony Dungy’s team? Can we just give him a ring from that game? And two who has had a better month than Morris? He gets promoted from defensive backs coach to defensive coordinator and then a few weeks later finds himself in the big chair. If Wall Street had the kind of luck this cat has, we’d all be driving solid gold cars.


He Said He Said

"There's a big, black, ugly bird standing between us and Tampa." – Steeler offensive tackle Max Starks.

The emphasis, obviously, is on ugly.


"I personally don't subscribe to that hocus-pocus to be honest with you.” - Steeler head coach Mike Tomlin when asked about the difficulty of beating a division opponent three times in one season.

Considering that 11 times out of 18 opportunities in NFL history the team that won the first two triumphed in the third meeting, I can see why Tomlin doesn’t subscribe to that theory. It would seem he prefers his subscription to Kick Ass Weekly.


“If I'm a Steelers fan, I'm nervous about the AFC title game, and not just because the always-tough Ravens are the opponent. Pittsburgh and hosting the AFC Championship Game just doesn't seem to mix. The Steelers have lost the past three times they've hosted the game: in 1997 to Denver, and in 2001 and 2004 to the Patriots. Those three opponents went on to win the Super Bowl.” – SI.com’s Don Banks

Oh, Don I’m nervous, but not like before for one simple fact. This time Bill Cowher is not involved. That may sound like blasphemy, but considering his track record and the fact he cut his coaching teeth under the tutelage of Marty Schottenheimer can you blame me?


"It sure won't be basketball on grass." – Pittsburgh defensive lineman Aaron Smith discussing the championship game versus Baltimore.

Only if basketball suddenly became full contact filled with pure hate.


“The league has to do something about the inequity of overtime.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Oh for heaven’s sake Peter LET IT GO. I shudder to think how insane you would be about how unfair overtime is if Tom Brady lost a playoff game in the extra quarter. I’ll give you this factoid one more time, and please let it sink into your head. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! If it were, you morons on the Hall of Fame election committee would have long ago voted Ray Guy in.


"We will beat them nine out of 10 times, but this time things didn't fall our way. I'm not taking anything away from Baltimore. I lose graciously.'' – Titans running back LenDale White

Well, if you’re saying that after getting spanked at home in the playoffs, then I just cannot believe your moronic gracious comment. Perhaps you could have had a dumber comment if you had not fumbled inside the red zone. I’ll give you this, good audition for Idiot of the Week.


“This is something that is storybook. Five NFC Championships in 10 years. That kind of shows the trust and the coaching we have with Andy.'' – Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb

Ummm, not to point out the obvious, but none of those championships yielded a Lombardi trophy and only one of them actually yielded a Super Bowl berth. So you put your trust in a man who has failed at obtaining the ultimate prize every time it’s been put in front of him? And that’s why the Philadelphia press never gives Chunky Soup man a break or fair shake.


"You want to know the 13 scariest words in professional football this year? 'For more on the Cowboys, let's go to Ed Werder at Valley Ranch.' '' – Tampa Tribune NFL writer Ira Kaufman

I’d argue, but just reading that sentence again gave me Silence of the Lambs flashbacks.


"We felt if we hustled and got bodies on bodies, we would have some vertical grass with Santonio." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

I don’t care what kind of grass is involved, as long as Holmes is playing well, he can have Kentucky Blue as long as it works.


“Ever try a famous Primanti Brothers sandwich? You'll need a jackhammer to open your arteries. Two slices of Italian bread, grilled meat, cheese, tomatoes - OK, that doesn't sound bad. But get this: It also comes with coleslaw and french fries - inside the sandwich! All of it teetering 10 stories high on waxed paper. The fries poke out of the sandwich like wriggling centipede legs. The provolone congeals into La Brea Tar Pits consistency. This will shock you: It's a big favorite of drunks. When the bars close, the Primanti's in the Strip District looks like Woodstock.” – Baltimore Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd in an article about why Ravens fans hate Pittsburgh.

Really Cowherd? This is the best insult you can muster? If this is the level of competition Pittsburgh can expect from Baltimore, ridiculous trash talking aimed at a local sandwich, then this game should be an embarrassing blowout in favor of the Steelers. Oh, and Cowherd just so you know. This weekend the Lady K and I hosted a friend from California who tasted her first Primanti Brothers sandwich ever, and she loved it. So take that, shove it in your crab cake and rotate on it.


"We picked a bad day to have a bad day.'' - Carolina coach John Fox

Is there ever a good day to have a bad day?


“To put into words, I can't. I am at a loss for words. I had a hand in six turnovers ... I should get the blame. It's inexcusable.'' – Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme.

Well, DUH!


Idiot of the week

I’d love to put Pacman in this spot for his idiotic interview with James Brown, but considering his antics Pacman could grab this spot any week. And trust me, Kevin Cowherd made serious noise with his Primanti crap, but he does not win either.

No, this week the dishonor goes to Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme for his epic meltdown against the Cardinals. The question is not why he is the idiot, but what reason should be the deal breaker. Pick one because they all work. Sure you could let him off the hook for taking the blame, but even the dumbest of morons would voluntarily fall on the grenade after a performance like Jake’s. Some might argue Panther head coach John Fox should be anointed head idiot for even sending Delhomme out there in the second half, but what else did he have to work with? So for generating six turnovers, terrible decision making, repeatedly throwing into double coverage and ignoring the single covered receiver, general poor performance and losing in the playoffs at home to the Cardinals, Jake Delhomme you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

I have no excuse or, more importantly explanation, for last week.

Last week 1-3
Playoffs 2-6
Season 166 – 106

As I mentioned last week, historically the home team in the divisional round has won 3 out of the 4 games played and last weekend we saw the home team lose 3 out of the 4 games. The only reason I can figure is this is just one more piece of evidence to show this could possibly be the weirdest season ever in the NFL. If it is, in two weeks we’ll see a rookie quarterback go against the Cardinals. For Pete’s sake I certainly hope this is not the weirdest season ever.


Sunday

Philadelphia (11-6-1) at Arizona (11-7)

Thanks to Jake Delhomme, I now have to say the weirdest sentence I’ve ever uttered: The Arizona Cardinals are in the NFC Championship game. And thanks to the Giants, I have to say the second weirdest sentence I’ve ever uttered: The Arizona Cardinals will be hosting the NFC Championship game. Until right now, the only NFC team since the 1970 merger to not make it to the NFC Championship game was Arizona. That has now changed. I hate to pick against them again, but something tells me we’re headed for an all Pennsylvania Super Bowl. Or perhaps that’s just misguided hope.

Eagles over Cardinals


Baltimore (13-5) at Pittsburgh (13-4)

Bring your chinstraps and make sure they are secured tightly, because this one will be a slobber knocker. They hate us, we hate them, and this time it’s for a trip to the Super Bowl. Now, much column space and hot air has been expended this week about the supposed difficulty of beating a team three times in one season. But let’s throw this interesting little factoid into the mix. Historically when Pittsburgh has played a division opponent for the third time, they’ve gone 7-0 in the playoff game. That does not account for what they did during the regular season, but I say it is a good omen. Even if I weren’t a totally unabashed homer, I’d still pick Pittsburgh because their healthier (see Rolle, McClain, Suggs), fresher having not had to play 17 straight weeks of football, have a more experience quarterback and are just plain better. Ok, that last one was a total homer opinion. But come on, Pittsburgh is far better in every aspect! Turnpike Super Bowl here we come!

Steelers over Ravens

The Crystal Ball 2008 The Divisionals

We’ve gone from 12 to 8, and after Sunday, we’ll be down to 4. How fast the playoffs move. Don’t blink or you might miss this weekend. As we’ve all heard, this is rematch weekend. Half the teams will be hoping for different outcome, and the other half will be looking for a new ending. But before we can taste those treats, let’s clean up the crumbs from last week.


Opening Kickoff

Boy, I chose so poorly when it came to last week’s game, I fully expected the knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to appear before me near the end of the Eagles/Vikings game, point a bony finger at me and bellow you chose poorly. The surprise was he didn’t.


Recap

Arizona 30 – Atlanta 24

Unfortunately, I did not get to see much of this game. But what I did see told me everything. Whisenhunt ratcheted up his defense, revealed an effective running game and Matt Ryan finally showed that he is a rookie. If you were a Falcon fan or supporter, like I was, that’s a deadly combination. The result, Atlanta gets to bask in a successful season that unfortunately ended and Arizona gets to celebrate their first home playoff win since Truman was in office.


San Diego 23 – Indianapolis 17 OT

Now that’s staying classy San Diego trotting out the powder blue uniforms for the playoffs.

I just loved the story of Peyton Manning growing his playoff hair. Not a beard like most people would, just his hair. He did not want to get a hair cut since the Colts started their winning streak and he didn’t want to jinx it. Now that’s in depth reporting you can only get from Al and John.

Reason # 1042 why Norv Turner is a bad coach: One series went like this, 1st down incompletion, second down run for 8 yards. Now with a super manageable 3rd and 2 what does he do? Pass, incompletion, punt and on the very next series Peyton burns them for a go ahead touch down. Awful, just awful play calling and game management. Why would you pass on short yardage when your running back Darren Sproles has been tearing apart the Colt defense?

Was anyone else curious how San Diego could be charged a 4th team time out for injury without some sort of on field punishment or ramifications? I need someone at the NFL to explain that one to me.

4th quarter, 1:48 left, ball on Colts 38, Chargers ball with the team down by three. Was anyone surprised that at this point the Chargers had zero timeouts? Norv Turner strikes again!

Hmmm, overtime. Al’s explanation that you play until a winner emerges seemed to be directed at someone. I wonder who?

Yes, overtime rules could use a cleaning up, but quit whining about how if you lose the coin flip you might never touch the ball. If your defense does its job, you will. Obviously here, the Colt defense did not do its job, Peyton never touched the ball and the world lost its mind. Yeesh.

The Chargers now officially scare me. They won that game in spite of Norv Turner. Despite a few questionable calls, the Colts played horribly. Their defense gave up too much yardage too often and kept on the field too long. But thanks to Norv, the Chargers had trouble capitalizing. Yet still they found a way to snatch the win. That mixture of talent, lucky breaks and an ability to get it done when it matters most frightens me, almost as much as Darren Sproles frightens me, and that’s off the charts. .


Baltimore 27 – Miami 9

Man, how lucky is Baltimore and Miami? They get Ed “Big Guns” Hochuli!

Miami had a nice little season, and played tough all year. They even worked hard to keep this game from being a ridiculous blow out. Their opening defensive and offensive drives showed they had the potential. But they just did not match up well with Baltimore and it showed often.

The Ravens won for three reasons. One, Joe Flacco made no major mistakes. Efficiency and taking care of the football will take any quarterback far and now it’s taken Flacco to the record of first rookie quarterback to win a playoff game on the road. Two, the Ravens special teams were aggressive and opportunistic, much like their defense and running game. That extra point block was sweet. And three, if you cannot stop Ed Reed you are done. Two picks, one run back for a touchdown and constant harassment of Pennington and Dolphins receivers all afternoon. Ed Reed is the best free safety in the league. I wish he played in Pittsburgh with the best strong safety in the league.

I’ll give one big cookie to Dolphin Ronnie Brown for a wickedly good one handed catch for Miami’s only touchdown. Just fabulous concentration and effort demonstrated by the star running back.

The funniest part of the broadcast easily was watching Bill Parcells throw his phone in frustration. That’s it Bill, continue acting like a petulant child. That always helps matters.


Philadelphia 26 - Minnesota 14

Oh MAN I knew Joe Buck would show up sometime to ruin my weekend.

Joe, I beg of you, stop saying “depends on the spot” when referring to whether a team gets a first down. We know it depends on the spot. It ALWAYS depends on the spot.

I swear working with Joe is making Troy dumber. Troy actually said during the broadcast, referring to the intensity of the game, “during games like this, playoff type games”…. Troy THIS IS A PLAYOFF GAME.

Childress is an idiot. I know, I’m not revealing a big secret of the universe, but this one particular sequence really bugged me. Viking special teams gave up a great run back on a punt, but the Viking defense stifled the Eagles on three straight plays. During the third down play the Eagles were called for holding. With the penalty it would have been 3rd and 19 from the Eagles 35. Without it, it was 4th and 9 from the Eagles 25 and set up Philadelphia for a 43 yard field goal attempt. Yes, giving the opposition another shot is risky, but you just gave them 3 points. I know, field goals can go awry, but when you’re indoors with a kicker like David Akers, that’s basically conceding the points.

Adrian Peterson, magic man. He didn’t have a great start, but a 40 yard touchdown run will make up for that fast.

It seems to me that the Eagles got their money’s worth with Asante Samuel.

I could ramble on about the endless gaffs made by Brad Childress. For Pete’s sake he made Reid look like Belichick. But only one question is worth asking, and if I were a Vikings fan or the owner I’d be asking it for the next six months. With almost 8 minutes left in fourth quarter, with the game still close, why did Adrian Peterson spend the remainder of the game on the sidelines and why was the game put into the hands of the very inconsistent Tarvaris Jackson?


The Steel Pit

No game to review this week, as Pittsburgh had a nice week to sit back, relax and heal which more than a few players desperately needed. So let’s take this week to clear out a few stories and snippets from Steeler Nation as we prepare for the return of the Super Chargers.

Linebacker James Harrison was named the defensive player of the year. Quite an honor by itself, but it must be even special for a man who was cut by Baltimore, and even cut several times by Pittsburgh.

Ben Roethlisberger practiced all week and passed all post concussion tests to be cleared for action on Sunday. Ben gave an interview this week regarding the injury, the upcoming game, his status and overall health. Roethlisberger in the interview also stated he felt that the Heinz Field turf, oft maligned, helped save him from a more serious injury. Now, all of you in Steeler Nation who clamor for a better playing field after hearing that do you really want to change the turf now?

I thought this was a nice article about the growth of Mike Tomlin. I just thought you might enjoy.

During the season, Aaron Smith had an unexplained absence that was stated as a family issue. To me, that means a sick child. Unfortunately I was not wrong, but fortunately things are not grim and looking up in the Smith household. His story, and that of his brave son, can be found here. A prayer or two for their family, and all those suffering from leukemia as well, would be appreciated by all.

In ownership news, the Steelers have completed their restructuring plan. The plan will break down with Dan and Art II owning 30 percent of the team, two of the brothers selling portions of their shares, the two involved in gaming operations to sell all of their shares and the Steelers to have three new investors, James Haslman III of Knoxville, Tenn., Thomas Tull of Los Angeles, and the Paul family based in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles. This will leave Dan and Art II as primary owners, clear the team of any issues with gaming and insure the Steelers remain in Pittsburgh where they belong. Now everyone breathe deeply.

And in news of the upcoming game, SI.com’s Bucky Brooks did a breakdown comparison between the Chargers and Steelers in anticipation of the San Diego/Pittsburgh game. It looked good to me until I saw his coaching comparison. He called the coaching between the teams even, and I must say I am thoroughly insulted. Can you honestly tell me these two are even? No way, Tomlin is by far the superior coach. Since their winning streak and first round playoff win everyone has been touting the brilliance of Norv Turner, but how quickly we forget. Remember, they had to reel off those wins because Norv initially guided the team to a 4-8 record. And they keep touting his so far 3-1 playoff record. When did he amass this record? This year and last, when he was coach of an uber talented Charger team, a team which he is consistently underutilizing and talent he keeps wasting. Before last season, Norv’s playoff record as a head coach was 0-0. And why was that? BECAUSE HIS HORRIBLE COACHING NEVER EVEN GOT HIM INTO THE POST SEASON!


NFL The Alternative Universe

Atlanta rookie head coach Mike Smith was named coach of the year. It’s a shame they did not go further in the playoffs, but after last season everything is a big win for the Falcons.

Thank goodness Peyton Manning is out of the playoffs. We need more commercials. I love the Mastercard one with him in different cities thwarting people’s attempts to insult him. But the new Oreo commercial with Eli and the Williams sisters is nothing short of brilliant.

Congratulations to Rod Woodson and Dermontti Dawson for making the list of finalists for this year’s Hall of Fame class. There are some heady names on this year’s list, check it out.

Brett Favre has announced he will wait a month to decide his future. Brett, no one cares anymore.

Mike Lombardi has a nickname for Vikings coach Brad Childress, “the gym teacher”. I love Mike and his knowledge of football from a life spent in the game is bar none. But Mike you’re wrong here. A gym teacher is tough, gruff, and has a certain charm that comes from once being a successful athlete, a charm that becomes buried under a mountain of surly attitude when once again they realize they are no longer that athlete. This is not Childress. A high school science teacher is intelligent and knowledgeable in one area (their discipline) yet outside of that field can seem dumb and lacks certain social skills. This is Childress. He’s smart in his area (offensive innovation) yet dumb in others (clock management, play calling, defense) and lacks certain social skills (have you seen his press conferences?) I know, these are generalizations, but think of your high school science teachers and tell me they do not match. Mine do, except for one who was very bright and extremely personable. But I swear that man looked exactly like Childress!

The saga of Pacman Jones rolls on. First, the Cowboys cut the oft troubled defensive back. Then ESPN reported that Jones was involved in an argument with a man involved in a shooting incident that occurred in June of 2007 outside an Atlanta area strip club.

It seems Jones had an argument with this gentleman in the club, and when the man went to leave with two friends, their car was shot at. While police are not specifically looking at Jones as a suspect or actively investigating the case or claims, the man has said he knows Jones had something to do with it and believes Jones arranged for someone to kill him.

Jones predictably has denied involvement in the shooting, going so far as to threaten ESPN with a lawsuit calling the story stupid. He even went on NFL Today to defend himself. Of course he had his lawyer with him during the interview, because obviously Jones is not bright enough to defend himself. And he didn’t, even stating at one point during the interview that he had not been in a strip club for 1, a year and a half, 2, 3 years he doesn’t know, it’s been a long time. Even though video evidence puts him in a strip club a year and a half ago, and that’s the one we know about.

Honestly, the funny part of his antics has long dissipated. It’s now just a sad situation. The confusing part for me is that I cannot even figure out which part is so sad. I’m debating between watching a man with talent allowing his personal demons to implode his life, that he is too stupid and uneducated to know how self destructive he is, that he honestly believes the obvious nonsense that comes out of his mouth or that there is no one in his life that can rap him upside the head and straighten him out. Never mind, no one part is the saddest; it all is sad and pathetic.


Upon Further Review

I’d like to take a look at two things this week. I promise, I’ll be quick but I think both need to have a little extra light shone upon them.

First, since Manning the Older was unceremoniously bounced from the playoffs thanks to an efficient Charger offense, every dink in the world who voted him MVP has been screaming for a revamp of the overtime rules. Look, I like Peyton too but if he would have managed one first down we would not be talking about this.

Honestly I’m sick of this topic. Everyone knows how overtime works. If you get the ball first, you’ve got first crack. If you don’t, then your defense better step up and get the job done toot sweet. This argument I consistently hear that deciding who gets the ball first by a coin flip is unfair is moronic. Who ever said life is fair? Go ask the people of Detroit how fair life is, and I’m not talking about the Lions season either. As a matter of fact, go to any town in any state of the union and find an unemployment office. Talk to the people in those lines who have recently lost their jobs because some rich hedge fund manager or corporate CEO did some funny book cooking to get himself or herself another fat bonus, and then the company collapsed and forced people onto the streets while said fat cats walked away with their bonuses intact and ask those people how fair life is? This fairness argument is so ridiculous and infuriating it drives me insane. Life isn’t fair; it’s one of the few constants in our world. Deal with it.

Ok, I’ve safely put my soap box away. I bring this up because I saw this point/counterpoint argument between Peter King and Don Banks immensely entertaining. I’m siding with Don, obviously, but they both make interesting points. Enjoy.

Ok, and from ESPN.com’s David Fleming, we have an argument for the Prevent Defense. First, Mr. Fleming’s opinion:

“I know everyone's first inclination is to jump up and down and scream about the Prevent Defense, right? But trust me on this, when used in the correct situations and executed properly the Prevent Defense is one of the most effective schemes in the game. It has just become one of those things that poseurs who don't know anything about football like to jump up and down about. But late in games when teams are protecting a lead of more than four points, they aren't battling the scoreboard but the clock and in a situation where one quick score is the worst-case scenario, the Prevent is your best bet.”

Hold on, let me get that soap box again. Are you nuts? If one quick score is the worst case scenario, the Prevent Defense is your worst bet! Let’s clarify, the Prevent Defense, or PB, is basically a soft coverage setup where you take away deep threats and the sidelines, forcing the offensive team to look to the middle for yardage and thus keeping the clock moving. Theoretically, that should be effective in draining the clock and ending the game. But what really happens? You keep their offense, which is only a bit behind in score, on the field gaining momentum and confidence and keep your defense on the field running ragged and getting further exhausted after toughing it out for 55+ minutes.

If the score is between 4 and 8 points, obviously their team has kept the score close and their offense has been somewhat effective. If they can get a drive rolling, then it is entirely possible for them to move down the field and get an end zone strike. And isn’t that what you are trying to avoid, giving them a chance at a score? If you question whether this plan works, ask Ohio State how they feel about the Prevent Defense after losing out to Texas in the last minute of the game after watching the Longhorns march up the field and make a play when they got close.

If the score is over 8 points, then what does it matter? It would take the other team two scores to tie or go ahead and already they are working against the clock to just get one score. If they are down that much, obviously their offense has been less effective, and your defense has been performing well. So why exhaust your defense with running them ragged trying to execute the Prevent? Play your base defense which has obviously done you well thus far and go after the offense.

Winning a football game is not for the timid. The football gods do not smile upon teams who play scared and try to protect a lead. They grant victory to the bold teams who play to knock out their opponent, because fortune always favors the bold.

I would love to see someone like footballoutsiders.com show some statistics of how effective the Prevent Defense is in stopping a team from tying the game or taking the lead in situations where the trailing team has less than 2 minutes of time left, 1 or no timeouts remaining and down by 4 to 8 points. Something tells me the results would be eye opening to folks who follow David’s confidence and allegiance to the Prevent Defense.

Call me a poseur all you want Mr. Fleming; I maintain the same stance I always have. The Prevent Defense prevents nothing.


Ring around the Rosie

After brief flirtations with the Browns and Favres, Bill Cowher announced he would not be coaching anywhere in 2009. Although I must say, this snippet about a money grab from Cowher in talking to Favres management sure made for a nice soap opera style story.


Oakland – They’ve interviewed candidates, including interim coach Tom Cable, and former coach Jim Fassel is reportedly a candidate as well. But no decision has yet to be made. “For fools rush in where angels fear to tread".

St. Louis – Still interviewing, nothing concrete as of yet. Hmmm, interesting how no one is rushing hiring decisions this year. Perhaps some have learned?

Cleveland – Nope, none have learned. Cleveland pulled the trigger and named Eric Mangini their new head coach. Wow, how depressing is that? In this economy with so many good people out of work, a dink like Mangini can get hired almost instantaneously.

Detroit – If a coach is hired in Detroit, would it make a noise?

New York Favres – Also no definitive answer yet after the failed courtship of Bill Cowher, but former Ravens head coach Brian Billick has been interviewed.

Denver – Owner Pat Bowlen is still interviewing candidates, including Raheem Morris of Tampa Bay, Josh McDaniels of New England and uber hot commodity Steve Spagnuolo of the Giants. The most interesting thing to happen thus far is former Bronco linebacker Bill Romanowski has been campaigning hard for Bowlen to give him the job. Insert your own diet pill joke here.

Kansas City – The position of GM has yet to be filled, so the fate of Herm Edwards remains unclear. But Chiefs ownership has been talking with Patriot head man Scott Pioli and I doubt he’ll keep the underachieving Edwards around, not after working with Belichick.

Indianapolis – Since the season has now concluded, Tony Dungy is currently contemplating his future. I know he said he would step down after this season, but something tells me he may not. Leaving after that loss to San Diego would just be a lingering bad taste in his mouth.

Seattle – Nothing has been settled yet, and no news has been forthcoming. Keep eyes open for the white smoke coming from Paul Allen’s office.


He Said He Said

“This is playoff football.” – NBC’s John Madden during the Colts/Chargers game

Really John? No wonder that preseason kickoff party I threw went over so poorly. This was playoff football! Why did no one tell me?


“It is like the problem when you had the anonymous player saying all that stuff. They are a coward, you know, and that kind of stuff ruined this season.” – Cowboys cornerback Terence Newman

Oh, it was the anonymous player who ruined the season! All this time I thought it was the Narcissistic Players, in the locker room, with the egotistical selfish behavior. You ever get the feeling that one day very soon we’re going to hear Ed Werder reporting about a police standoff with an as of yet unidentified player at Cowboy headquarters? If that happens which question would you try to answer first; which player it could be or why you aren’t surprised. I can’t figure out which would be harder to answer.


"The whole thing [the Rookie of the Year vote] is bogus, because people are voting for it that are not on the same field as the people who are playing." – Titans RB Chris Johnson

Bitter, party of one your table is ready.


"I would have, actually.''- Former Lions president Matt Millen on NBC's Football Night in America Saturday when asked if he would have fired himself this season.

I think your pants are on fire Matt, because you could have and didn’t. It’s called resigning in disgrace.


… the things I didn't like about Round 1:…any news (and I mean any) about Brett Favre's future plans because I know I don't care and I'm pretty sure everyone else agrees with me” – ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons

Hallelujah! Bill, allow me to confirm your thought process, because for cripes sakes I don’t care either! I’d rather hear another story about the brilliance of Bill Belichick than whether or not Favre will play, take a crap, plow his fields or pick his nose.


"A lot of people coming into this game said we were the worst playoff team ever to get in. … I think we rallied around that." – Arizona head coach Ken Whisenhunt

Dang, forgot the disrespect card. It’s so overplayed anymore, I never can tell when it’s being seriously used or just bandied around willy nilly. So foolish I can be.


"Unless there's a perfect situation out there, I'd rather sit out the year and return next year.'' - Former Denver coach Mike Shanahan

Is it just me, or does January of 2010 seem so exciting, thinking of Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones throwing money at Shanahan and Cowher like drunk businessmen trying to woo the hottest dancer at a strip club?


"It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN. That's stupid. It's so stupid I have no more comments." – Former Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones in response to reports that the Cowboys cut him in due to alleged ties Jones had to a man who accused him of hiring someone to shoot him outside a strip club in June 2007.

I’d laugh, but it’s just sad at this point. I’m taking the under on 2 years until Pacman is either permanently out of football or in prison.


"I'm not going to let one or two guys ruin a career for me or the relationship I had with my teammates. If you polled my past teammates, I bet 90% would say they enjoyed playing with me.” – Favres QB Brett Favre

Ok, I’m gonna poll Thomas Jones, Alan Faneca who always is a blunt quote, the 2007 Packer defense and Aaron Rodgers. I bet we don’t get 50%.


“Explaining why the movie business deserves our disdain: The New York Times reported that the reason movies like Frost/Nixon and Gran Torino are out for a month in only a handful of theaters nationwide is to create a buzz for them and a ticket demand. If I had any principles, I'd boycott Gran Torino, but I can't because I'm an Eastwoodaholic. But that's a good way to improve business, Hollywood. By extorting people”. – SI.com’s Peter King

Ok, Peter, hold up. Before that high horse bucks you, make sure you know two things. One, The New York Times is not completely correct. Yes, studios send movies like Frost/Nixon and Gran Torino into select theaters to create buzz, but not for the consumer. They put them out early to create awards buzz. And the reason they only do select theaters is to focus on media centers (New York and LA) where most critics are located and to make sure they are released before the end of the calendar year. That way they can be included in the upcoming awards season. And the reason they do this so late in the year is so they are the last films on everyone’s mind before the self congratulatory Golden Globes, SAG Awards, Oscars, and every other cockamamie award show nominations are made. It’s a carefully crafted operation that indeed is made to create buzz, but like most major industries it thinks nothing of the consumer and only of itself.

And two, can you honestly with any sort of a straight face condemn the film industry for trying to extort people? Do you not make your livelihood based upon the NFL? Is this not the same NFL that threatened television blackouts in Minneapolis and Phoenix because the stadiums had yet to sell out their playoff games right away? How is this not extortion? Threatening to take away their product from millions of people because people were unwilling to spend hundreds of dollars on a luxury item like playoff tickets in one of the worst economic recessions our country has ever faced certainly sounds like an attempt at extortion to me. And yes, we all know the blackout rules have been in place for decades, so it’s not like this is a new thing. But approaching double digit unemployment is a new thing, and I do not blame people for being hesitant to drop a grand in trying to take a family to a football game when next month they might have trouble just keeping that family fed.


Idiot of the week

“Nearly fell off my chair Sunday in the first quarter of Baltimore-Miami when I heard Simms say Hochuli, who had the biggest gaffe of the year in the Denver-San Diego game in Week 2, and his crew earned the highest grade among the 17 officiating teams in 2008…. Hard for me to believe he could be, based on the enormity of the mistake in Week 2,” - SI.com’s Peter King

Guess who won this week? Ok, I’m going to go big and break this down because I nearly fell off my chair reading his comments.

First, that was but one call. Unfortunately that one call stood out high above amongst a season of great calls of which no one focuses. And NFL executive Greg Aiello even stated at the time Ed would be marked down for that call. So if Ed, despite that call, can still lead the top crew in the league it begs a new question. Does that show how great he is as an official or how terrible NFL officiating has become? I say both.

Second, Ed erred on side of protecting the quarterback, a direct edict from the NFL league offices. If anything that makes him a better referee than most, because rarely do you see referees erring on the side of protecting the quarterback. Remember Peter when the NFL said we will go further in protecting the quarterback? Ever notice how flagrant hits and quarterbacks being drilled and driven into the ground have yet to be consistently called by all officiating crews? Yes, Ed making that call was a mistake. But by blowing a quick whistle in hopes of saving Cutler from getting pounded and injured it was exactly the type of thing the NFL is hoping will help protect arguably the most important player on the field.

Third, I am sick of the lame argument that Hochuli gave Denver that game. If I recall, that play came on second down. San Diego had two chances to stop Denver from scoring the touchdown. And then they had a third chance to stop the 2 point conversion. It’s their own fault they did not stop Cutler and company, not Big Ed’s.

Fourth, San Diego won the AFC West and is advancing in the playoffs; Denver lost the division and is sitting home. Why are we still talking about this nonsense?

So, for harping on this call, for acting incredulous about a talented official receiving just due in spite of a trying season, for showing poor knowledge of overall officiating standards, for not even remembering the league’s stance on quarterback protection, and for just acting way too high and mighty and sanctimonious as of late (specifically this, your movie high horse and your constant harping on the overtime rules), Peter you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

Ok, ok, last week was a mess, I know.

Last week 1-3
Playoffs 1-3
Season 165 – 103

But I have a secret weapon this week. Home teams historically post an over .700 winning percentage in the divisional round. Wanna guess who I’ll be backing?


Saturday

Baltimore (12-5) at Tennessee (13-3)

Evenly matched teams with similar strengths and mindsets taking on each other. Baltimore is banged up a bit from last week, and Tennessee will be missing center Kevin Mawae. So what is the deciding factor? The quarterback, as always. Jeff Fisher will trust Kerry Collins enough to occasionally put the game in his hands. John Harbaugh will be hesitant to do the same and that will make all the difference. And afterwards poor Ray Ray can cry into his moronic “What’s My Name?” t-shirt.

Titans over Ravens


Arizona (10-7) at Carolina (12-4)

Arizona was 0-5 on east coast this year. Carolina was 8-0. Arizona will potentially be without Anquan Boldin. Carolina will be fully rested. I like the running game Whisenhunt unleashed last week, but it will be too little too late this time.

Panthers over Cardinals


Sunday


Philadelphia (10-6-1) at New York Giants (12-4)

So is Philadelphia’s success based upon McNabb’s reinvigoration or Andy Reid’s playoff beard? I’m going with the beard. It’s always the beard. In quasi seriousness, let’s just quit pumping up the Eagles. Yes, they are hot right now and did pound the Giants in New York. But Brandon Jacobs was not himself in that game, the team was dealing with the Plaxico mess and the Eagles had trouble running against a depleted Vikings defense. Oh, and McNabb is overdue for a meltdown. Now how do you feel about those Eagles?

Giants over Eagles


San Diego (9-8) at Pittsburgh (12-4)

Tomlinson probably won’t play, but that’s no surprise. Like San Diego is concerned with a spark plug like Sproles. Antonio Gates will play, but his ankle sprains may limit him. Charger Vincent Jackson was arrested for DUI this week; he will play but hello distraction! Honestly San Diego scares me, as they are playing pumped up and have played playoff-type pressure football for over a month now. But there in Pittsburgh, and the weather will be inclement and James Harrison will be angry.

Steelers over Chargers

The Crystal Ball 2008 The Wildcards

I’d make some pithy comment here, but it’s too big of a week. So big in fact that it’s taken so much time for me to figure it all out that I’m now way behind on a bunch of things and still late getting this to you, the gentle reader. Since we’ve got a bunch to get to, let’s dispense with the pleasantries and just dive right in.


Opening Kickoff

I feel this way at the end of every December. The end of season is here and I am sad. It’s always so exciting getting here seeing who makes the post season, and there’s still some thrilling football ahead of us. But the weekly buffet of NFL action is gone once again. Stadiums across the country sit empty, vacant and dark waiting until next fall for their gladiators to take the field once again and take part in the violent ballet that is professional football. Sigh, oh how I will miss it. But in the meantime, we still have eleven games left so let’s all cherish them.


Recap

They did it! They did it! Congratulations to the 2008 Detroit Lions for pulling of the unimaginable. They made it happen and captured the perfect season at 0-16! Sure, it was tough, they had some close games and a few crappy opponents that almost stopped the streak. But they persevered and now stand atop the mount of mediocrity. Congratulations boys, I am proud of you.

Boy, did Bill Cowher get fired up and take exception to the talk of Matt Ryan having the best season by a rookie quarterback ever. He almost jutted the chin and started letting spittle fly defending Big Ben. Not that I blame him. Ryan’s season was great, but Big Ben did go 13-0 and take the team to the AFC Championship game. It’s not the perfect season, but it’ll take a very special person to top that.

Bwha ha ha ha ha ha! The poor Patriots missed the post season. Oh, I’m still giddy about it! HA HA HA! Cheaters, how’s that karma taste?

Although I give them credit for pulling out the victory in the wind tunnel that was Ralph Wilson Stadium.

I’m willing to bet Dan Marino sweated out the end of the Saints game praying Drew Brees wouldn’t take another record from him. Brees came dang close, didn’t he Dan? Laces out DAN!

Ok, it’s official. The Buccaneers have no respect for themselves. In no coincidence, I have no respect for them either. How do you lose to Oakland, at home, with the playoffs on the line?

The Giants took it too easy in Minnesota. Guys, remember how you went into the playoffs last year, pumped up and on fire? Remember what happened in the playoffs when you did that? Guess what might not happen this year because you slacked off.

I’d say the Titans took it easy too, but you’d have to exert effort in order to slack off. They just outright lay down. I wonder how bad they’ll look in the first half of their playoff game after crapping the bed like that.

Oh, neck beard, where have you gone?

Really Mangini, you’re going to run a wildcat play with Favre as the receiver? Would ANYONE take that seriously other than Norv Turner?

Hmmm, I guess just going out and paying top dollar for a bunch of free agents doesn’t work. If only the Jets had other teams who did that as an example to show them it typically fails. Oh wait, they did in Washington and Dallas!

Speaking of such, who else just reveled in Philly putting the boots to Dallas? I absolutely loved it, and I’m not even an Eagle fan!

And if Jerry Jones is serious about keeping Wade Phillips on board, then he is dumber than I thought. If you want to justify every other bad thing about the Cowboys season in an effort to stick with Phillips, fine. But there is no way you can justify this. It’s the 4th quarter, the playoffs are on the line and the Cowboys have only a faint heartbeat of a chance of turning things around from the 44-3 deficit they currently face. It’s fourth down deep in Eagle territory, you need points and fast. What does Wade Phillips do? He sends out the field goal unit. A FIELD GOAL ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Your team is falling apart, your offense has given up two touchdowns, you need to do something drastic and you roll over and give up. It’s not embarrassing, it’s shameful. That alone should get him fired.


The Steel Pit

Let’s get the little stuff out of the way. The Steelers won, again. They pounded the Browns into submission again. They left Romeo Crennel with the dubious honor of being the only Cleveland coach to have never beat Pittsburgh. Tyrone Carter filled in admirably for Ryan Clark with an interception returned for a touchdown. Lawrence Timmons filled in nicely for James Harrison who was inactive and healing. Hines Ward grabbed his 800th career reception and had his fourth 1000 yard season. Willie Colon once again killed a drive with a boneheaded mistake, his new milieu. The defense pitched a shut out and Willie Parker got his groove back.

On the officiating side, I have just a few questions. How does an illegal motion offset roughing the kicker? Surely seems a bit unfair to me. How can you not call the holding penalty, or tell us who did it, but just throw the flag and recall the touchdown? Very sloppy work. Just as sloppy was the numerous times they corrected themselves on the penalty called or who actually committed it. You guys have a convention after every flag you can’t get your stories straight before turning on the microphones? And the worst was the incorrectly called incomplete pass, which was caught and fumbled by Cleveland, which negated a Pittsburgh defensive touchdown. If perhaps that score stood, a certain starter might have been pulled a bit early, and we would not have the next section.

Ok, now to the big stuff, mainly the one play at the end of the second quarter where Big Ben got his lunch handed to him. At first, it just looked like yet another pounding that Ben takes from improvising behind his questionable line. But when he would not get up, you could feel the air leave the stadium.

The team, coaches and fans all held their breath as the franchise quarterback laid there. And the announcers replayed the hit again, he got smacked high and low and his head bounced off the turf like a basketball. They kept maintaining the hit was clean, and the hit was. But the part where both Brown defenders drove him into the turf surely was not. Once again, I’m going to keep screaming this until Goodell and his minions listen. WHERE WAS THE PENALTY? They drove him into the turf, which has been repeatedly said from the league offices as a penalty drawing no no. But for the umpteenth time this season, the referees did not call that penalty.

Goodell, you can pass out fines like candy all you want, but until you get all your referees to start consistently calling those penalties it means nothing. If you are truly serious about protecting quarterbacks, then do it. Lip service does nothing but make laughable sound bites.

Everyone at and watching the game came close to coronaries when they saw the cart come out, the backboard and neck brace attached to Roethlisberger and the never good sign of the face mask being unscrewed from the helmet. But as they drove Big Ben off the field and he gave the thumbs up, you could feel the relief emanate from the stadium. And I mean literally, and I was not even near the field.

Mercifully it came out that Roethlisberger just suffered a concussion. So luckily the man’s life and long term health were not in jeopardy and the team’s medical staff just went for the ultra cautious. But watching something like that, it just puts your stomach into your throat. Here’s hoping Big Ben heals nicely, is back to his old self and contemplating what motorcycle he wants to buy when he retires 15 years from now in no time.

The team practiced this week, minus of course Ben who just observed and worked on getting his bell un-rung. Tomlin gave them the weekend off and they will relax, rehab, heal and prepare for next week when they find out who will be coming to Pittsburgh.


NFL The Alternative Universe

For their season finale, the 49ers grew mustaches as part of a throwback look. The team wore throwback uniforms and decided to add the facial fuzz as a tribute to a very manly look that has gone away in recent years. Perhaps other teams should pay attention, the 49ers won.

Terrell Davis on NFL Network’s Total access called Terrell Owens a cancer to the Cowboys. Talk about stating the obvious. 49er and Eagle fans figured that out years ago.

Larry Johnson wants out of Kansas City. Just a rat wanting to leave the sinking ship.

Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington won the NFL Comeback Player of the year award. This marks the second time Chad captured this honor. Perhaps Chad’s next team should be the Lions as the man seems to have cat lives.

Peyton Manning won his 3rd MVP award. Look, I like Manning and he has held the team together well. But it bugs me that those who vote for this and other awards seem to think the only players who can be that valuable to a team start and stop at quarterbacks and running backs. Guys, seriously there are 53 players on a team and usually only about 5 or 6 are quarterbacks and running backs.

According to Jerome Bettis, Bill Cowher wants to coach a team with a solid quarterback. Not surprising he would want such a thing. It took him 12 years to get that in Pittsburgh, and it marked the first time he had actual playoff success. But what a dumb statement, what coach would not want that? But I hate to point out the obvious, but if a team has a solid quarterback, they’re probably successful and are not in the market for a new coach.


Upon Further Review

The big discussion this week has to do with playing starters in end of the season games that have no playoff implication. Of course this discussion came about when Ben Roethlisberger was pasted to the Heinz field turf and carted off the field on a back brace. Immediately, the discussion started about playing starters in these types of games, how foolish it can be and the possible consequences that could come from it for player, his long term health and the team’s playoff future.

No one ever wants to see a player injured, and never when it looks as frightening as Big Ben’s injury did. Mercifully for him, it was merely a concussion and the training staff was just taking extra safety precautions. But that is a part of the game of football. The players accept it and have since they first donned pads many years ago. The teams expect it, which is why there are always backups ready to play. And the fans expect it. The violence of the game is one of the attractive parts for fans. We love the collisions and hard hits. None of these people ever think actively of the ramifications of these hits, until we see that cart come out. Then, it all comes back into a sobering reality.

But no matter if the game is preseason or the Super Bowl, these things can happen, and do every week. But the question every talking head kept putting forth afterwards was why was Ben playing in a meaningless game? Meaningless game? The phrase has been repeated often this week and to be honest, it ticks me off.

I don’t care what anyone says, there is no such thing as a meaningless game. If you feel that way, you reduce the meaning of any game, including the so called “important ones”. If you truly believe in the concept of meaningless games in which you hold out starters to avoid injuries and save them for more important contests, then perhaps we should start weighing NFL wins and losses upon arbitrary strength of schedule and strength of victory criteria like the NCAA instead of actual wins and losses. And if you ignore those things and believe in meaningless games, then perhaps we should look at the NFL like baseball, basketball and hockey and care just enough during the season to make the playoffs, and then show real interest. If these games are so meaningless, then start charging accordingly and giving fans a price break on tickets, parking, concessions and souvenirs when they trudge out into the cold, snow, rain or wind to root and cheer for their team to win these “meaningless” contests.

Yeah, if Pittsburgh lost to the Browns it would have no impact on their playoff seeding. But do you want your team tanking ever, no matter the reason? Crappy teams hoping to get a better draft position, put your hands down.

The one fact everyone has overlooked is that if Ben had not gotten hurt, this discussion would not even exist. And if he had been hurt in the Tennessee game, or the Baltimore game or the New England game before that, everyone would have focused on his health and not why he was out there. You want to know why? Because he’s Pittsburgh’s franchise quarterback, one of the best players on their team. He’s the reason they have recently won a Super Bowl, and he gives them the best chance to win games and capture another championship. They pay him to be a big time quarterback and with that position come big time risks.

You can argue this point until the end of time, and I believe it will be. Each year something like this will happen and the discussion will rear its ugly head yet again. But I maintain that no game is meaningless. If it is, if they mean nothing, then I want the NFL to acknowledge it in the form of lower prices for meaningless contests and less pay for star players who sit out these games. Until then everyone shut up, accept the risks involved for EVERY player not just the stars but also the all important role players, and let them and the coaches do what they get paid so well to do, play and coach football to win.


Super Bust Recap

Well, we’re at the end of the season, so it’s time to check in with our choices for this year’s Super Bust. As always, or at least until Roger Goodell starts fully funking with the Pro Bowl, the Super Bust will be played between the conference championships and the Super Bowl. So, how did our pre season choices do?

AFC – The New England Patriots finished the season with a record of 11-5 and second place in the AFC East. Unfortunately, The Colts finished 12-4 and grabbed the first wild card spot and the Ravens finished 11-5 and grabbed the second and final wild card bid. This leaves New England in an unfamiliar position, home for the playoffs. But luckily for us, it frees them up to make the trip to Las Vegas and the Super Bust!

NFC – The Dallas Cowboys started off the season on fire, as if needing to prove they did not belong in our beloved Super Bust. Ahhh, but deep down, we all knew it was only a matter of time before all of those nutty personalities crashed and burned. And it was and it was beautiful. The combo of poor coaching by Wade Phillips, an overrated Jason Garrett, Pacman being Pacman, Romo collapsing in December, and of course the incomparable TO being led by enabler numero uno Jerry Jones combined to make a potent brew that boiled over into a mess that fell apart at the end of the season and blew playoff chances at least three times. Just fantastic. That sort of egomaniacal dysfunction will go over wonderfully in Sin City.

Wow, look, both preseason favorites to make the Super Bowl did not even make the playoffs! This one was too easy. I told you so, never trust pre season predictions! We’ll see these two teams again in a few weeks for the main event before the main event! Stay tuned….


He Said He Said

“Obviously I didn’t do a good enough job.” – Buccaneers head coach Jon Gruden

Well, since you dropped your last 4 games because of your rapidly aging defense which you have done little over the past 5 years to fortify, yeah, you didn’t do a good enough job. And haven’t for quite some time. It’s becoming more evident that Gruden won that Super Bowl with Tony Dungy’s team.


"A lot has not been said about Favre." – CBS announcer Phil Simms during the Dolphins/Jets game.

This is true. Like, I don’t know what kind of bicycle Favre had in 5th grade. Simms, be lucky bigger idiots reared their head this week otherwise for that statement you would have been the hands down winner.


"If you're going to worry about getting guys hurt, play tennis. It's so unplanned, so chaotic out there. If you're worried about that, you shouldn't be out there.''- CBS analyst Steve Tasker, speaking in advance regarding criticism of the Steelers for playing Ben Roethlisberger.
Agreed. And considering Pittsburgh’s offensive line, the real surprise is that this didn’t happen sooner.


"The coaches are in place. How can I be any clearer ... Look, can y'all not understand statements? What the [expletive] is going on here? The coaching staff is in place. The coaching staff is in place.''

"I'm taking everyone to the woodshed. Everyone,''- Dallas owner Jerry Jones trying desperately to defer criticism regarding his current coaching staff.

Jerry, if you want to take anyone to the woodshed start with yourself. Because your enabling ways are what have been on display this year, and the years preceding leading to your 10 + years without a playoff win. Jimmy Johnson isn’t looking so bad now, is he?


"I had a blast working with these guys. It was a lot of fun.'' – Favres QB Brett Favre

Obviously, that feeling is not mutual.


“This is us. We own this. We did this. So man up.'' - Former Lions head coach Rod Marinelli

We can make fun of the Lions until the end of time, but Marinelli has one trait I would beg to see more in this world. He has personal responsibility for his actions, which is rare.


“This is the NFL: I bet more people in America picked Dallas and New England to play in the Super Bowl -- and neither made the playoffs.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Hee hee I didn’t Peter. As a matter of fact, I picked them to not make the Super Bowl. So does that make me a genius or just more observant than those who do this for a living? Hmmmm, I’ll go with choice B.


"I almost can't believe it. It's surreal. Like, did it happen? But this is what people have been waiting for, I guess. Very sad. Very disappointing.'' – Lions kicker Jason Hanson

No Jason, it’s miraculous and brilliant! Your team will be famous forever! Revel in it. As embarrassing as it is, at least it’s memorable!


"I've had a lot worse happen to me than a loss in a sporting event, that's for sure. If this is the worst thing that ever happens to me, then I've led a pretty good life." – Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo

Ummm, Tony, I tend to agree. But perhaps when it comes to football and Cowboy fans, you should perhaps attempt to take a less macrocosm-esque look at the events that define your life.


Ring around the Rosie

Well, the season has come, at least for some, to a jarring yet merciful end. And with that, the coaching carousal has started spinning once again.

The big name this off season has been one Bill Cowher, who has been linked so far to at least two different jobs, and perhaps up to four. Whether someone lands him has yet to be seen, but I think Cowher will keep himself out of the running for perhaps even this season. Who has enough money to bribe the Chin to come out of retirement and away from his sweet gig playing 5th banana to Shannon Sharpe, Boomer Esiason and a constantly bitter Dan Marino?

So, let’s take a look at what we know this week.


Oakland – since Al Davis’ bizarre dismissal of Lane Kiffin, the Raiders have been running with Tom Cable as their head coach. Ironically, they’ve done well with Cable, but as Al is Al, they have not named him the new head coach. In my opinion, this could possibly be the dumbest thing Davis has done, and that’s saying a lot. I mean, honestly who is going to take this job otherwise?

St. Louis – Perhaps a team in even worse shape than Oakland, the Rams have employed Jim Haslett as their interim coach. And while they did get an initial boost with Haslett, afterward they received the same sort of quality Haslett employed in New Orleans. Obviously St. Louis has spread their search but so far no one had bitten.

San Francisco – Wisely, the 49ers named interim coach Mike Singletary their new head coach. The trousers incident not withstanding, I say wisely because the once proud San Francisco team finished 5-2 under Singletary. While it is no guarantee, it is hope for the future.

Cleveland – Oh, Browns ownership cleaned house. Not only did they fire Romeo Crennel, but also GM Phil Savage. Like many teams, they are after Patriots GM Scott Pioli, who has yet to say one word about his availability. Initially, the Browns reached out to former Brown assistant and player Bill Cowher, who shut them down almost immediately. They also reached out to Atlanta’s Rich McKay regarding their GM position, and he did the same. Apparently, the poor Browns can get no respect.

In an embarrassing moment, now former head coach Romeo Crennel said he would be willing to stay on and work with whatever coach they hired to replace him. Romeo, show some pride. If you wish to stay in the NFL, find a job elsewhere; don’t scrap for the leftovers the team that canned you is willing to dish out! No wonder the Browns suck.

Now, news has come out that the Browns are talking to recently deposed Jets coach Eric Mangini, Yeah, good call there go from one failed former Patriot assistant to another. You cannot say it enough, no wonder the Browns suck.

Detroit – Predictably, the Lions fired Rod Marinelli. But what else did anyone expect? Yes, Rod owned up to the team’s dismal performance, but that is not enough for one to keep his job. So far, Detroit has yet to find a replacement for Marinelli or the open GM position. Lion fans, it seems horrible right now but always remember it’s darkest just before the dawn. And I just cannot see how things could get much darker. Unless the team went 0-16 next year too…

New York Favres – They may revert to being the Jets next season, but it will be without Eric Mangini. After watching the team go from 8-3 and on top of the NFL heap to 9-7 and sitting home, Jets ownership tossed Mangini on the scrap heap. They have already had a brief flirtation with Bill Cowher, but The Chin prefers his own personnel man so discussions have gone nowhere.

Denver – In the surprise move of the off season thus far, Denver fired Mike Shanahan. But if you break it down, it’s really not that surprising. Consider over the last 10 years since the Broncos Super Bowl win The Ultimate Leader thought it would be best to change defensive coordinators like underwear, that Cleveland’s defensive line cast offs would be an upgrade, that dressing anyone at running back would be a good long term plan, and that he went with Cutler way too early. Come on, anyone could see that even if Jay would be good, he wasn’t ready to lead the team through a playoff push. If it weren’t for Elway and Terrell Davis, he probably would have been gone much sooner.

Denver has met with Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo and new Buccaneer defensive coordinator Raheem Morris, a rising star in the NFL coaching landscape.

Kansas City – GM Carl Peterson stepped down before the end of the season. So far Herm Edwards has remained at his post. But if KC hires a GM with any sense, they’ll get a new coach.

Indianapolis – Indy is the first of our two predetermined changes, where the current head coach planned to step down after the season. However, Dungy has recently said he will take the first week of the off season to sit down and decide what he would like to do, which sounds like someone enjoyed the challenge this season and may want to ride the roller coaster again. We’ll monitor this one.

Seattle – Our second predetermined change, Seattle closed out the season as though Mike Holmgren would be walking. But through the first week of the off season, no official retirement announcement has been made and Seattle has shown no public signs of a head coach hunt or a promotion of assistant head coach Jim Mora Jr. On the radar…


Idiot of the week

Oh, we’ve got a great one here. This week, for the final regular season idiot, we’re not going with the Lions, Marinelli, Denver for blowing their playoff chances or Cleveland. No, this week the final honor goes to Brett Favre.

Yeah, you could give it to him for the nonsense about his injured shoulder, and not knowing his own limits and putting the game in the hands of Thomas Jones. For that matter you could give it to Mangini for the same reasons. Or you could give it to the 100,000, but dwindling, Favre apologists who have now started reporting breathlessly on Favre’s condition and off season plans. Or back to Favre for once again, for the umpteenth season, stating he will take a few weeks to mull things over before deciding about his future. Wow, never heard that before.

No, Favre wins for pulling the trifecta of ticking off three, count em three, different teams and fan bases.

First, he ticked off Green Bay. Now, at any point up until last June he could have kept his job in Green Bay and his status as a semi deity. No, he had to be wishy washy regarding retirement and his desire to play. He goaded Packer management into making a choice between him and Rodgers and once they did then pushed them into looking foolish for sticking by their guns and dumping him. Thus forcing the good Packer fans to have to side between team loyalty and Favre loyalty. I’m sure this caused more than a few bitter arguments during holiday meals in Wisconsin this year, and left no one happy.

Then, he ticked off New York. Oh, not right away. No, they were pleased as punch at first and talking playoffs before snap one occurred. Heck, at one point everyone was thinking Super Bowl. But I warned Jet fans and teammates that Favre would eventually screw them with one of his patented game killing interceptions. My cup runneth over with that prediction. Now Jet fans are wondering what happened, and sitting home pissed off as they watch the cast off Chad Pennington lead the Dolphins into the playoffs. And Jet teammates are sniping at him in the press and on the radio.

And third, and certainly not least, he ticked off New England. Even though they had lowered expectations without Tom Terrific, the Patriots put together a pretty good season. Unfortunately, thanks to some bad losses and excellent play by Miami, New England needed the Jets to beat the Dolphins in the season finale to make the playoffs. So every member of the team and all their fans were forced to watch New York, who had nothing to play for as soon as Baltimore scored their first touchdown, try to beat the Dolphins who were amped up and had everything to play for with a broken Favre and the terrible Mangini. You think that didn’t anger everyone in the New England area? You think Belichick didn’t take copious notes? He’s already shown a propensity for enjoying spanking the Jets. How do you think it’s gonna go down now?

So for not knowing your limits, angering three teams and their fans, ruining your legacy for fleeting glory and destroying almost every bit of goodwill you’ve ever built up in the span of 7 months, Brett Favre you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

One last entry for this segment before it slips into the ether, only to return in next fall like an old friend visiting after many moons.

Titans – Worshiping at the altar of Kerry Collins that they will not need to depend on Vince “I need to grow up before I become Michael Vick” Young to win a playoff game.

Steelers – Mike Tomlin is personally administering every concussion test known to man, and inventing a few, to Ben Roethlisberger in hopes that he will maintain the party line and be ready for the playoffs. Mostly in hope that not only can the team win, but also that he does not get raked over the coals again for playing Big Ben in a “meaningless” game.

Giants – Keeping every available eye on Brandon Jacobs just to make sure nothing, and I mean NOTHING, happens to him.

Panthers – Making sure Steve Smith doesn’t get angry and take it out on a teammate, especially DeAngelo Williams.


On Tap This Week

Well, the season is over. How did I do?

Last week 11-5
Season Finale 164 - 100

Unfortunately, it was not enough to win my tournament. But how did I compare to the “professional” prognosticators? Oh, we have to take a look.

Comparing me to the “experts” at Fox Sports.com, the only one to beat me was Jay Glazer, who had 170 wins. But Jay is an NFL insider animal, and has managed to be at the forefront of almost every big story this season. So I do not feel bad about losing to him. The others should be mortally embarrassed to lose to a no one like me.

Going up against those at ESPN.com, well I did slightly worse. I came in 4th behind Fleming, Mortensen and the winner Merrill Hoge. But Merrill played for the Steelers, so that’s a win in my book.

I’d love to include a comparison to Peter King, or anyone else, at Sports Illustrated. But after spending a half hour doing numerous online searches of their website, oddly enough the only predictions I could find involved the wild card weekend. Hmmm, tell me SI.com, what do you have to hide? The fact that your name dropping, Hall of Fame voting, kiss ass MVP awarding, Favre gushing “experts” are no better than the average fan with an observant eye and an ounce of common sense? We already know that, show us their season totals for picks won and lost!

Once again, the fact that I competed so well against these so called experts with inside knowledge tells me two things. One, no one can predict how a season will go. And two, if most of these cats cannot compete with me and I have no inside knowledge, then how come no one has given me a job yet? I know some mysteries have yet to be solved but I certainly hope this does not fall into that realm.

Before we go on, I maintain I made these picks prior to any games being played. So if I should get them right, call it a brilliant pick. And if I get them wrong, well then obviously I did it without prior knowledge of the embarrassment I would suffer.

Oh boy the playoffs are here! How exciting, is it not??? This weekend is full of fun matchups, including two that feature rookie quarterbacks and head coaches. Woof, almost enough to make ones head spin!


Saturday


Atlanta (11-5) at Arizona (9-7)

I have read and heard plenty of arguments for and against each team. Most notably that Atlanta has a rookie head coach and quarterback on the road when the team had merely a 4-4 road record this season and Arizona had a 6-2 home record. But only one statistic means anything to me. Six of Arizona’s nine wins came against NFC West opponents, and that’s nothing to brag about.

Atlanta over Arizona


Indianapolis (12-4) at San Diego (8-8)

We could go into a big discussion about each team, San Diego’s ability to play Indy tough, Peyton’s difficulty against 3-4 defenses or even the Chargers recent winning streak. But all I need to determine this game is two words, Norv Turner. Enough said.

Colts over Chargers


Sunday


Baltimore (11-5) at Miami (11-5)

I love Miami’s moxie, and the fact that Joey Porter gets the team all worked up enough to win. But Baltimore already beat the crap out of them at home. And I’m sorry but I see nothing that makes me believe that things should be different this time around.

Ravens over Dolphins


Philadelphia (9-6-1) at Minnesota (10-6)

I hate this game. Minnesota is nothing without Adrian Peterson and right now he has a gimpy ankle. But I just cannot trust a team that tied the Bungles. So who to go with? Ugh, I have no idea. Unfortunately I have no choice but to choose. This time, I’ll make a home pick and hope that Brad Childress makes less bad calls than Andy Reid. As long as he gives the ball to a banged up Peterson as opposed to a healthy Tarvaris Jackson, I should be ok.

Vikings over Eagles