The Crystal Ball 2007 Week 8

This week I was going to lay off Boston. Yes, it drives me nuts that every time I turn around I see something Boston related. Sunday night drove me especially insane as I watched Pittsburgh lose; then had to endure another round of how great the Patriots are while suffering another series clinching win by the Red Sox which catapulted them into the World Series. Now with the NBA season gearing up, the big talk is all about the revamped and championship caliber Celtics.

It’s enough to make a fan of any other team start slamming their fingers in a door just to give a person something else to think about. I’m beginning to get a very good impression of how everyone outside of Pittsburgh felt around January 1980.

But I figured, why hate on someone else’s success? Sure all those teams, especially the Red Sox and Celtics, are really proving is that with a big enough checkbook excellence is only a few overpriced deals away. But still, it is success and most fans would salivate and saw off specified body parts to experience they same type of joy Boston fans are currently enjoying. And since such peaks in sporting superiority are short lived, why not let Boston fans revel in it, no matter how obnoxious and insufferable they become in their unfettered delight. Who would not want to experience such euphoria? I know I would. So I will not begrudge them their moment. I just do not want to hear about it every other minute.

I am aware that a good portion of my animosity stems from jealousy. Who would not be jealous? I want my teams to dominate like that. I want to watch every Sunday and not just think we have a chance, but know we’ll tear everyone apart and pick our teeth with their bones

But since it most of it comes from jealousy, what is the point? Do I really hate these teams? No. I have no feelings one way or the other toward the Celtics. As for the Red Sox, since I cannot stand baseball, (more for the league and those who run it, the game itself still holds a sway over me, but that is another story), why pour so much vitriol on a team that at the end of the day, I could not care for one way or the other? Mostly I just resent the Sox success because, A, it feeds into the obnoxious behavior of Red Sox fans, who are quite insufferable especially since they have morphed into Yankee fans, the type they loathed for decades. B, it bothers me that basically they have become the Yankees in how they operate by buying players and victories while gutting smaller market teams. And finally C, I wish the Pirates could afford such a payroll and success.

As for the Patriots, there are at least some viable reasons to dislike the team. Beating Pittsburgh twice in the AFC championship game, on our field no less provides two good reasons. The cheating scandal of which we still do not know what they did or did not do and no one will say how tainted their legacy really is, the holier than thou attitudes, the coach who accepts the title of genius (even though he was pure crap as a coach in Cleveland) while treating the media, fans and anyone outside of his “circle” with contempt annoyance and disdain, this latest act of basically saying eff you to the rest of the NFL and taking out their perceived anger and hurt for being punished for cheating by humiliating every opponent they face, the almost constant adulation of Tom Brady no matter how much he acts like a sore winner in victory and a petulant baby when another team gets the best of him and of course the loud boisterous and intolerable fans who just will not shut up. So yeah; there are a few things to dislike about them.

But I planned to let it all go, and for once even stick up for the Patriots. I do believe they have been running up the score, but I know they did not last weekend against the Dolphins. There have been a few people that have busted their chops for putting Brady back in just to score again, but I do not think they were trying to run up the score. Hell, that game could have been 149-28; they definitely let off the gas against Miami. I was even going to let go of the talk of Boston being the City of Champions. Even though we all know there is only one city with that distinction, and it’s not in Massachusetts. But I digress.

That was my plan, until I ran across this shiny little gem in the latest Sports Illustrated.

“Won by the Patriots, a lawsuit against StubHub that forced the online ticket reseller to give the team the names of fans who bought or sold tickets to New England games. Massachusetts law forbids tickets from being resold for more than $2 above face value. The team did not say what action it will take against the fans, though it did say revoking the tickets of those who sold their season tickets was possible. On StubHub last week, $125 tickets for the Pats’ Dec. 16 game against the Jets were being offered for $1,300.”

Now, it’s bad enough to treat the media, the football loving public, other teams and franchises, football fans in general and even the NFL as sub par creatures not fit to walk in your own world. But to treat your own fans this way? This is going too far. When the Camera Gate scandal hit the fan, the whole world, if only briefly, came down hard on the Patriots. But not their fans, they never once wavered.

Even though they knew, and admitted, that what their team did was wrong, they still stood by them. They suffered the slings and arrows of everyone around them, still believing in and supporting their team. They even gave Belichick a standing ovation the week after the scandal broke. The same Belichick who would as soon perform surgery on himself without anesthesia than acknowledge these fans as human beings, still they supported him without question. And now, for giving that kind of unwavering defense and devotion to their team, the thanks they get in return is scorn, punishment and potential revocation of their tickets.

I know you can try to justify it by saying the Patriots are merely obeying the law. Bull. If the state of Massachusetts or the state’s law enforcement really felt this was a problem and wanted to go after these people, they would. This is nothing more than vindictive behavior. This is not a slap in the face to some of the most loyal fans in the sporting world; this is a grab and twist of the groin. The team knows how valuable their tickets can be. Their actions portray an organization angry they are not getting a slice of this after market pie. Plus, it shows how quickly they have forgotten how important the people who spin those turnstiles every Sunday really are to the team and their success.

There are plenty of obstinate owners and selfish players that make up many of the teams in the NFL. And their behavior on and off the field shows often how much they disdain and barely tolerate the fans that back them through thick and thin. But to hang your fans by the nearest yardarm because they found a more efficient way to scalp tickets they may not use, and make some extra scratch that could help during a few lean months, takes the cake.

Honestly I tried this week. But they make it too easy to keep from heaping disdain upon them like manure. If the team and organization want to operate in an eff you sort of way then fine that is their prerogative. But to expand that scope to include your own fans is a new low. I have said before karma will retaliate on them for their behavior. Well, she is stockpiling a huge cachet of ammunition, and the Patriots will not like her vengeance. If this is how they want to play, so be it. I can be a small man. I can give an eff you right back. Watch how childish I can be when Pittsburgh plays them in a few weeks.

I better start stocking up on Pampers and pacifiers by the gross in the meantime.


Recap

Buffalo is much better than their record indicates. Baltimore is much worse than their record.

Herm Edwards, I have a small coaching note for you. When the first 12 screen passes get blown up in the backfield, the next 12 are doubtful to work. For Pete’s sake man, call a different play! You could have set up about a dozen delayed draws or play action passes through a fake screen and the defense would have bitten. Boy that was driving me nuts.

Kudos goes to Rob Bironas for a record setting performance by nailing 8 field goals against Houston. Although I question a team that needs 8 field goals. You cannot slam that ball into the end zone once?

Kerry Collins, a man tired of hearing about other washed up quarterbacks making a name for themselves took matters into his own hands. A shame his defense almost squandered it.

Kudos also goes out to Houston for staging a furious comeback, despite losing Schaub to injury. Even if their record will not reflect it by the end of the season, they are a much better team mentally.

Seriously, the Eagles could not stop Brian Griese in the last minute of the game? Good gravy they made Griese look like Elway. Once again, the prevent defense prevents nothing.

Watching the end of Cardinals/Redskins game I came away with this thought. Washington is up 21-13 and trying to hold on. Their last few drives went 3 and out. The clock reads less than three minutes. They need to wick time away and keep the ball out of the Cardinals hands. On First down they run the ball and the clock ticks away. Second down they pass with an incompletion and clock stops. Third down back to the ground, but the running back runs out of bounds and once again stops the clock. Fourth down boom goes the punt. Now, knowing how ineffective their offense had been all day, the best move they could have done was run the ball up the middle three times then punted. If they had just done that, the 21 seconds that were left at the end of the game for Arizona to attempt to steal a victory would have never been there. Arizona would have been forced to use their time outs, and quite possibly might not have even had a chance to score the touchdown. When you are trying to end a game, you need to keep the ball in play so the clock runs. This is simple, elementary stuff folks. Joe Gibbs may be a hall of fame coach, but the cat calling his plays most certainly is not.

That was some wicked body armor Kurt Warner was sporting on his left arm. I guess all the good robotic replacement parts were shipped to Green Bay.

Osi Umenyiora sure is having a stellar year. A big sack that resulted in a fumble and a return for touchdown highlighted another big day. The Giant defense will be in fine shape when Strahan eventually hangs them up.


Broncos 31 – Steelers 28

Ugh. They looked horrible. Why do they let bad teams get to them? Is it playing to the level of their competition? Pittsburgh looked ill prepared for having two weeks to plan and prepare for this game. The Broncos, by contrast, did not. I’d like to believe the Broncos are better than advertised. At least that could put some salve on the wounds.

Note to the NFL, do you wanna beat Pittsburgh? Schedule a long road trip for them.

What peeved me most about the game was that due to the loss, for the time being they will no longer be spoken of an elite team in the NFL. Not that I question that. I believe they can be an elite team. But if you cannot beat an opponent you should, then you have not earned the right to be mentioned as such. They had an opportunity to show off how good they could be on national television and squandered it. And let’s be honest, they should have beaten Denver. The team has been reeling, and is far from healthy despite their bye week. They have been on their heels lately and were primed for a knockout. When you let a team like that get the best of you, it is not the mark of a champion.

The first half resembled the Arizona game almost to a tee. The first drive of the game looked stellar and resulted in a touchdown. They looked at that point to be rolling toward a dominating evening. Then the Broncos got the ball and everything fell to pieces. One difference between the games, though, is that this time Pittsburgh fought back better in the second half than they did against Cardinals.

By the time the score hit 21-7 we found out that before the game the Broncos honored Damian Nash and Darrent Williams. Right then it all came into focus and I knew we would not win. How do you defeat that kind of keyed up emotion? The Broncos were playing for something greater than themselves as individuals. In an emotional game in an emotional sport, that can make all the difference.

Key note, during the last drive of first half, in two plays the Steelers went backward 20 yards. This took them out of effective field goal range. If they had made that field goal, the end of the game would have been quite different. A Holding penalty and poor protection and decision making hurt the team later more than anyone thought possible.

Roethlisberger was a tale of two halves. He could not have looked worse in the first half. Poor decisions, indecisiveness and unable to take care of the football stood out the most. But in the second half he became a new man. He had 4 touchdown passes for the game and engineered excellent scoring drives. Just once I would like to win a shootout. I know we have the capability to do it, but I have yet to see it.

Despite the Steeler heroics, Denver won the game on another last second field goal. Are they the new cardiac kids?

By the next day I calmed myself and realized my Bronco friends probably needed this win more than I did. Mind you I’m not enjoying losing, maybe just finding a way to justify it I suppose.

I suppose it could be worse. After all we are competitive and 1st in the division for the moment. I could be a Dolphins fan.

I have to keep in mind that despite the success thus far, this is still Tomlin’s first year. And while no one wants to waste a season with the transition label, there will be some bumps in the road. Must remain calm grasshopper.

What I Liked From Pittsburgh: Shaking off the first half debacle and coming out to play in the second half. Even though they lost, it shows a lot of character.

What I Did Not Like From Pittsburgh: poor line protection and poor quarterback decision making in the first half, not putting Parker and Davenport on the ground early. Poor defensive play (seriously, stop a drive) and poor ball protection.


Colts 29 – Jaguars 7

This one was the Colts all the way. They grabbed effective control of the game in the first half and never relinquished it.

Peyton did not put on a clinic, but easily handled a good team, as though to remind everyone crowing about a certain other team who currently is on top of the NFL world.

It has stuck in my head for some time that so far this season, everyone is talking about Tom Brady’s big year and no one is talking about defending Super Bowl champion and MVP Peyton Manning. I know Tom is having a year for the ages, and has never had a year like this (and if things keep going his way no one else will either), but why are we not talking about Peyton. Then it dawned on me. A high level of production and excellence is the norm for Peyton. He is always stellar, year in and year out. You never see these fantastical jumps in statistics and performance because he does them each and every year. How long before he cements himself in the top five of all time quarterbacks? I say two more years.

Vinatieri has no field goal attempt over 40 yards this season so far. Sign of a good offense.

David Garrard had a scary moment and went out of the game. Now it looks like his ankle injury could cause him to miss a month or more of playing time. And we have yet another starter gone due to injury and another who dat under center. You think quarterbacks are more of a delicate flower nowadays because they do not take much contact? Perhaps in olden NFL times quarterbacks lasted longer because they toughened up due to taking a beating. Just a thought.

Russell Crowe, seriously? How is this interesting in any way? More on another celebrity debacle on Monday Night Football below. That kids, is a teaser.

Bob Sanders is a difference maker plain and simple. He elevates the play of the entire defense. Everyone with half a brain would love to have him on their team, myself included. And last time I checked we had a pretty darn good safety.


NFL, the alternative Universe

During a mini meeting of NFL owners and league officials, the NFL brain trust decided to change the time allotment for each team to select a player from 15 m5 minutes to 10 minutes in the first round and from 10 minutes to 7 minutes in the second. Sure am glad to see the NFL is busy focusing on the important issues.

DeAngelo Hall has been ripping on the Falcons for giving up to anyone within the sound of his voice. He should have known they gave up on the season when they traded Schaub and signed Harrington.

NFL added $10 million to medical fund for retirees. Good start, but the biggest issue, from what I understand, is getting the money into the right hands. Fix that process, and the rest will fall into place.

The NFL fined Patriots defensive end Ty Warren $7,500 for failing to buckle his chinstrap against the Bills. Once again, I’m glad to see the NFL is always there on top of the tough issues.

Oh boy did I miss this one. Monday Night Football and ESPN have banned Jimmy Kimmel from future broadcasts of the show for comments made during the broadcast of the Giants/Falcons snooze fest. In case you missed it, here is what Kimmel said that has been labeled as “classless”, “cheap” and “disappointing”.

"I'd also like to welcome Joe Theismann, watching from his living room with steam coming from his ears

"What impressed me most is that he could impregnate two models" – Speaking of Tom Brady

"Listen if we can have a Mormon President, I can marry Kelly" – Speaking of Kelly Ripa

"Are you allowed to bet legally on this game?"

Kimmel’s reaction, in a story by Richard Deitsch for Si.com, was typically priceless.

"Technically, couldn't you say Joe Theismann has also been banned from Monday Night Football? If he showed up, they probably would not let him in. I was hoping to get banned from a casino first, but I suppose it's satisfying in a way to be banned from any television show. I don't know what I did exactly but apparently it was horrific. I just can't imagine CBS Sports putting out a similar statement about David Letterman" Kimmel said, laughing.

Upon hearing of his mention on his old program, Theismann himself was amused about the whole situation as he caught the comments on the broadcast.

“I don’t have an opinion about what people say, but it’s nice to know you’re missed. It’s interesting that people remember me.”

Theismann went on to say that does not always watch the program anymore, as it “has become Tony Kornheiser’s show”.

Seriously, what was the big hub bub? So he busted a few chops. Big deal. Are we really at the point where we take ourselves and football SO seriously that we cannot make a few cracks at it? Look, if Brady is really the deity many have deemed him he can use his mighty powers to smite Kimmel for blasphemy if so he chooses. Otherwise, pull the stick out of your butt, take a chill pill and be thankful there was someone in that booth entertaining enough to keep people tuned in.

In general I hate these nonsensical, and completely pointless, celebrity interviews, and if they insist on doing them, at least have someone in there that makes me laugh. Kimmel can do that much. At least Kimmel is interesting, which is more than can be said for most of the schleps they drag in there, including last week’s big guest Russell Crowe. And anything Kimmel said was 10 times better than the game going on at the time.

But it does raise a few questions. Since ABC and ESPN are both owned by Disney, will Kimmel be banned from his own show too? Will he be banned from the Magic Kingdom? And will it make the company Christmas party uncomfortable if the MNF crew and Kimmel both attend? Things to ponder.


Upon Further Review

A Perfect Season

The almost unattainable goal strived for every season by elite teams. To touch the brass ring of the perfect season, and be remembered for the ages, would be an experience like no other. So we need your help, fans and foes alike, to support, cheer and push the Dolphins and Rams into immortality and 0-16 seasons.

Let’s be honest, these two teams stink, and the only way anyone is going to talk about them is if they keep losing. Look at Oakland last year. Everyone talked about them until they beat a shell shocked Cardinal team. After that, no one cared. They went from a team of historical futility to just another mediocre crapfest. Dolphin and Rams fans, do you want that? Of course you don’t. If your team is going to be crappy and lose, at least lose spectacularly.

Now, I am not advocating or suggesting throwing games, certainly not. All I am saying is play to your pathetic potential. The losses will follow, no doubt.

Come on, step it up for the rest of us. Strut your futility. Dispel the myth of parity in the NFL. Show everyone what you are not made of. I know you both have it in you.

Now, the Rams have lost an astounding number of players to injury, some for the season, since opening day. At one point, they only had 4 offensive starters playing that opened the season. But they still do have good receivers, a decent quarterback and a great running back when he returns from injury. So their chances of making history look shaky right now.

The Dolphins, however, have a much better chance and get the edge. They recently lost Ronnie Brown to injury for the season. Coupled with losing Trent Green for the season and trading away Chris Chambers; they now have no proven or viable offensive weapon with which to attack opposing defenses.

And their defense, despite spending big money on Joey Porter, has been nothing short of tissue paper thin. Injuries have decimated the team here as well, making it that much easier for opposing teams to score at will.

Of course, they are only one Ted Ginn Jr. return away from throwing a season’s worth of futility in the crapper, so they need to be careful.

But would this not be the perfect bookend to their historical 1972 undefeated season? They would be mentioned in the same breath for all eternity when someone mentions the greatest and worst seasons of all time.

Now, strictly speaking a defeated season is not completely unheard of. More than a few teams during the early days of the NFL went winless in campaigns. But after World War II, the only teams to achieve this milestone are the expansion 1960 Dallas Cowboys (0-11-1), the expansion 1976 Buccaneers (0-14) and the Baltimore Colts (0-8-1) during the strike shortened 1982 season. But no team has EVER lost 16 games in one season. A few have lost 15, but never has one hit that perfect score of 0-16. This is your chance to grab onto history. This is your chance to grab the opportunity the Raiders squandered last season. Do not let history slide on by. Seize the day! Or better yet, don’t.


Steelers Around the World

Ahhh, the City of Lights, Paris France is where we land this week. The capital of France is known throughout the world for romance and beauty. This key center to world business and culture is a must stop in our trot around the globe.

To experience everything Paris has to offer, I toyed with waiting until the end of the season. That way, one could stay longer and soak in the city. But alas, I was too impatient. So much to try, see and do here I wanted to touch on it all. While visiting this beautiful city, one can indulge themselves on a cornucopia of culinary delights. French cuisine is known the world over for its excellence and palate pleasing enjoyment. Although I would steer clear of escargot. One can also spoil themselves like many Parisians do with treats from some of the finest bakeries in the world or just while away the day at a bistro or café, soaking in the miss-en-scene of Paris life.

Perhaps one wants to experience more than culinary pleasures. Take in some of the famous sites all around the city. The Eiffel Tower, Tuileries Garden, Paris Catacombs, Champs-Élysées and the Arc de Triomphe are a mere sampling of the beauty contained within.

Or perhaps you would like your architectural and cultural landmarks mixed with some kind of artistic flair. Paris has you covered there. Opera Garnier offers for the musically inclined classic opera and ballets. And of course, there is always The Louvre. This architectural masterpiece is one of the oldest art galleries and museums the world over. It is also one of the largest and, with almost no peer, most famous. Contained within its walls are some of the most beautiful artworks known to humankind.

Paris itself has so much to offer, one wonders why even bother playing a game. Well, because Parisians do love sports as well. Soccer and rugby are the preferred sporting drug of choice. In Paris, the game will be played at the 80,000 fan capacity Stade de France. This state of the art stadium was built for the 1998 FIFA World Cup, in which France defeated Brazil 3-0 in the final. The stadium is a regular host to soccer and rugby games and as well as numerous concerts.

For this game, the Steelers will take on the New Orleans Saints. While Louisiana and Cajun country are a long way from Paris, French influence still runs deep within the history and culture of New Orleans, and the Saints and their fans could find this trip a treat. Remember Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville, who founded the city of New Orleans, centered the city on the French Quarter. Sensationnel!


Idiot of the week

Bob Kraft takes the cake for his treatment of the fans of Boston and his Patriots. It sure is easy to condemn those without for trying to make a little extra on the side when you have plenty. Last time I checked, those seat licenses and season tickets were a might pricey. I bet it makes it slightly easier to swallow those big fees if you can skip one game out of eight and make a bit of extra scratch. But someone like Bob, who makes dough hand over fist, probably would not know about that.

Hey Bobby, was your considerable fortune all amassed above board? Did not have to step on a few necks or bury some competition anywhere along the way to get where you are, did you? What kind of financial skeletons are you hiding? Considering the actions of your team, perhaps those who live in glass stadiums should not throw fans out of them.


Taking The Week Off

Atlanta – Sitting around shaking their heads as DeAngelo Hall berates everyone from Petrino to the laundry guy.

Dallas – Cowboy fans will have the opportunity to bask in the glowing smile of Tony Romo, who will be on display outside of Texas Stadium through Sunday.

Kansas City – Herm Edwards will devise the ultimate screen pass, one that cannot be defended.

Arizona – Ken Whisenhunt will learn ligament surgery and instant healing techniques to bring Kurt Warner back on line. Sorry, no time to bring Leinart back.

Seattle – The search begins to see if the real Shawn Alexander went to live with Sasquatch.

Baltimore – Despite the loss, Brian Billick will throw a party for his offense. I mean, they managed to score 14 whole points in 60 minutes. That has to mean something.


On Tap This Week

Despite a certain team losing a certain game, all told the week turned out pretty good. Check it.

Last week 10-4
Season to date 62-41

I guess paying attention and knowing do make a difference. But, can the streak continue?


Detroit (4-2) at Chicago (3-4)

Ok, the Lions are 4-2 despite a horrible offensive line and no defense. But I doubt it can continue with Brian Griese doing his best Tommy Maddox impression, minus the whistle stop to sell insurance and play for Vince McMahon.

Bears over Detroit


Pittsburgh (4-2) at Cincinnati (2-4)

Damn do we need a road victory. This should be the salve that cools the wounds. It had better be.

Steelers over Bengals


Oakland (2-4) at Tennessee (4-2)

Vince Young will return this week. Collins relegated to a myth. Thee biggest question is, will their defense return? Against the anemic Raiders, yeah, they’ll look pretty good.

Titans over Raiders


Cleveland (3-3) at St. Louis (0-7)

Theoretically, the Rams can put enough things together at some point to muster up a win. And they are at home, not like it has helped thus far. Nah, I’ll take the hot team that’s all rested up.

Browns over Rams


New York Giants (5-2) at Miami (0-7)

London, baby! This is what we offer our overseas brethren to get them excited about football? Yeah, like they’ll trade in soccer for this. I doubt even a change of country could help the Fins at this point.

Giants over Dolphins


Philadelphia (2-4) at Minnesota (2-4)

Master versus protégé in a total toss up of crap. The Eagles could not stop Brian Griese for 71 seconds. The Vikings, on the other hand, could not complete a pass if their lives depended on it. I think either way I’m screwed. I’ll go Philly. At least they have the possibility of exploding offensively.

Eagles over Vikings


Indianapolis (6-0) at Carolina (4-2)

With a victory Peyton Manning would become the first quarterback to defeat all 31 teams. Manning is not a stat hound, but he is a student of the history of the game. And he likes being a part of history.

Colts over Panthers


Buffalo (2-4) at New York Jets (1-6)

Dick Jauron has JP Losman healthy, but he will be starting the hot hand in Trent Edwards. It takes guts to make a call like that. Shame for Jet fans Eric Mangini does not have those same guts, as Pennington will be under center for New York. Note to Buffalo defenders. Jump the out routes. You can pick those off easy and score defensive touchdowns.

Bills over Jets


Houston (3-4) at San Diego (3-3)

Matt Schaub is injured. The fires are still on the minds of Charger team. 40 people in organization have had to evacuate, including 17-18 players. But, they get to come home finally and play in front of a crowd desperate for a distraction and something to cheer. It’ll be enough.

Chargers over Texans


Jacksonville (4-2) at Tampa Bay (4-3)

Without David Garrard, this team is going nowhere. I’m sure Quinn Gray could be a serviceable quarterback at some point, but not this week against a tenacious Bucs team that only lost last week due to some uncharacteristic mistakes.

Buccaneers over Jaguars


New Orleans (2-4) at San Francisco (2-4)

Two teams headed in different directions. Amazing how fast the 49ers fell off after their demolition at Heinz Field

Saints over 49ers


Washington (4-2) at New England (7-0)

With a victory Tom Brady would become the second quarterback to defeat all 31 teams. He’ll do it, because he cannot stand to let Peyton have some sort of a limelight. He’s been stealing the defending champs thunder all season long.

Patriots over Redskins


Monday

Green Bay (5-1) at Denver (3-3)

Favre won’t get his chance to beat 31 teams until next week. He prefers to have the stage all to himself. Mile High lost some mystique, and Broncos are shredded after tough win. The Pack is rested, but still need running game. There is potential that a World Series game could be played the same day right down the street. Will split fan mojo hurt the Broncos and Rockies? Everyone likes the Broncos, but I’ll take a rested Green Bay.

Packers over Broncos

The Crystal Ball 2007 Week 7

Last week I took most of week off for various reasons. Some were good, a little time to kick back and enjoy a mid season bye week, some were not so good. By the time everything settled down, Sunday had arrived. Now, I know I rushed through last week’s picks, but no biggie. With a small week, (only 13 games) I figured I had a pretty good chance. But having your mind on bigger concerns causes one to miss a few things, and did I ever.

I was wrong, sometimes horribly, about the following things:

Seattle wanting to prove a point after the Pittsburgh debacle. They did, they are highly overrated in a terrible division. Not quite the point I thought they’d make.

The capability of The Saints to disguise their failings, I hardly saw any of them.

Vinnie Testaverde. Ho, boy did I miss that one. Vinnie must be an immortal from Highlander or a secret member of Heroes. It’s amazing how well he performed, since he was literally sitting on the couch at home as late as Tuesday afternoon. Read MMQB, Peter King did a great piece about Vinnie’s memorable week. He still doesn’t know most of his teammates. Earl Morrell has nothing on Vinnie.

The Cardinals. Their offensive line is not strong enough yet to take control of games. Plus, I did not notice they were one snap away from Tim Rattay. If that does not send a red flag, nothing will.

The Titans AND the Buccaneers, but only slightly. Tennessee probably would have won that game had the Madden Curse not reared its ugly head.

Houston. This was completely my fault. I keep forgetting about the missing Andre Johnson.

The Bears defense, but then lots of people missed that one. They should suit up for a game now and again, like they did last season.

The Vikings offense, but only one part, the part named Adrian. The rest is still as anemic as I thought.

The Bungles, but only by picking them to win in Arrowhead. Look back, I said this kind of collapse would happen weeks ago.

The Chiefs are also working to prove me wrong, but I’m not buying this 3-3 record. At least not yet.


Recap

The Packers defense looks great, and I really like what they are doing with speed and pressure. I still think the team needs viable running game, though. At least one reliable back to grind out the tough yards at the end of a close game would go a long way toward post season success.

I also liked the cheese cloths the Pack fans were waving too. Nice touch. Can I get a cut of the profits if they officially call them Packers Cheese Cloths? And can we get them in cheddar, pepper jack and Colby?

Congratulation goes out to Brett Favre, who now owns the all time interception record outright. George Blanda played into his late 40s, which is a milestone difficult to achieve in the current NFL. At least until Vinnie surpasses him. At this point would anyone be surprised?

Note to opposing defenses, Chris Cooley needs to be defended at all times.

Adrian Peterson – Wow.

To all the media pundits out there, please, let’s get over the icing the kicker thing. It’s gamesmanship and every coach knows it, uses it, plans for it and expects it. This argument that it makes the end of games look ridiculous is, well, ridiculous. If a team starts celebrating too early, that’s their fault. Personally I think it adds some drama. Will the coach call it? Will the kick go through? Will the offense pull the play off before the time out? Will someone have a conniption fit on the sidelines?

The Madden Curse strikes again and the immortal Kerry Collins found new life, or at least a job for a game. Tennessee cannot win with Vince the Younger on the sidelines. The team optimism drops faster than Britney’s dignity when Vince cannot play.

The Bears defense cannot, at this point, stop the run or the pass. You think they’d take Tank and his issues back at this point?

Gee, the Bungles showed that stellar defense off again last week. For the first time this season Larry Johnson hit 100 yards rushing and got himself a nice touchdown. I said it before and will say it again, THE BUNGLES HAVE NO DEFENSE AND DID NOTHING TO IMPROVE IT. I love saying I told you so.

Is dissention beginning to tear the delicate fabric of the Bungles apart? I’d say possibly, but I have not seen a lot of action on the Cincinnati police blotter yet.

So much for that shoulder injury Damon Huard was nursing. His line was 264 yards and 2 touchdowns. I can think of at least five starters in the league that probably need that kind of injury to improve their games.

Also, congratulation goes out to Tony Gonzalez who claimed the all time tight end touchdown record. Great player and a classy guy who could have complained about his team years ago and never did. Love guys that are loyal like that and still outstanding players. Such shames the Chiefs aren’t going anywhere soon to take advantage of Tony’s talent and leadership.

A side note folks; let’s relax on calling Baltimore’s defense back just quite yet. It’s not like they had a tough opponent on Sunday going up against the hapless and injured Rams. They would have had a better challenge facing Appalachian State.

While no one is noticing, Kyle Boller is quietly laying claim to the quarterback job taken from him.

Devin Hester. Really, what more can one say about him at this point? He is just fabulous and a joy to watch. Fun fact, in 22 regular season games, Hester has 9 special team returns for touchdowns. The NFL record is 13 set by Brian Mitchell in 223 career games. Hester could break that THIS YEAR. It’s been said a million times, so what is one more time. Why does anyone kick the ball to him?

San Diego traded a 2008 second round pick to Miami for receiver Chris Chambers. Ladies and gentlemen, it is official. Miami has given up on the 2007 season. Dolphin fans, you are no longer required to continue supporting this team through the remainder of this travesty of a season. Please exit in an orderly fashion through the nearest turnstile, and proceed directly to South Beach. Upon arrival immediately begin to drown your sorrows with tasty libations and engage in questionable behavior with the gorgeous denizens found there until you feel better. Thank you for coming, see you in 2008.

The Sporting News did a ranking of coaches in the league this week. In the head coaching category, Mike Tomlin came in 10th, the only rookie coach to get into the top 10. Hmmm, that seems low. He has already beaten one coach ranked above him and faces another this weekend. Perhaps after pasting #3 Shanahan, he’ll move up. Bill Belichick is, of course, number one. But he had Clarence Beeks intercept the actual rankings and replaced them with his own, so that explains that positioning.

Dick LeBeau was ranked as the number 1 defensive coordinator and Bruce Arians as the number 5 offensive coordinator. That sounds about right. Hey Bruce, you have some room for improvement, get to work.


Patriots 48 – Cowboys 27

I did watch some football this weekend, but only one full game. Wanna guess why I picked this one? Yeah, I guess I do enjoy torturing myself.

This game was evidence of the difference between the AFC and the NFC.

Is it wrong to openly root against a team I picked to win? When Dallas took that third quarter lead, I cheered even as my picks were falling apart. This must be what it’s like to be a fantasy owner when a player on your pretend team goes up against your real team. That kind of conflict can fry one’s synapse relays.

Sammie Morris gets injured and Maroney is on the bench. No problem, throw in Kevin Faulk. Damn Patriots.

One positive for future opponents, the Patriots trailed in this game in the second half for the first time all season. If it bleeds, we can kill it.

The 3rd quarter pass interference call on Dallas should have been offensive pass interference, since Moss ran into a set defender. Where is Ed Hochuli when you need him?

Dallas had too many mental errors yet again. Holding and illegal downfield contact calls on their defensive backfield were the biggest culprits. They will never beat a good team, let alone one like the Patriots, if they continue making those types of mistakes.

Rodney Harrison = Jackass. He trash talked before the game about shutting down Jason Witten. Actually, taking away Witten is exactly what you need to do to stop the Dallas offense, as Witten is a viable threat and Romo’s security blanket. Right after hearing that during the broadcast, we see Witten burn Harrison for a 25 yard gain across the middle. Harrison makes the tackle, and then proceeds to get to his feet and start celebrating. Hey Rodney, you were just smoked for 25 yards, what exactly are you celebrating? Doing a poor job? If you had done your job properly, he would have never caught that ball.

Later Harrison was openly holding Patrick Crayton in the end zone on Crayton’s touchdown catch, and then had the audacity to complain to the officials about Crayton. Hey, Rodney, you were holding you jackass! So many Patriots to hate, so little time.

Why was the Texas stadium sound crew playing sweet home Alabama during a timeout? It had nothing to do with the game, it just made me wonder. Maybe they have a marketing deal with KFC.

4th quarter, 10 minutes remaining and Dallas has the ball on 4th and goal at the Patriot 5 yard line down by 14. Dallas kicks the field goal and officially gave up. To the surprise of no one, Dallas never scored again. After that, the Patriots smelled blood and proceeded to put together a punishing clock killing drive with a gigantic dose of Faulk.

They were not the only ones there throwing in the towel, as the crowd gave up too. Hardly a soul got up to try and throw off the Patriot drive.

388 yards passing and 5 touchdowns, can’t anyone do something to stop Tom Brady? How about we all have a talk with Bridgette to start some baby mama drama to try and distract Tom.

Brady to Moss, boy does that combo drive me nuts. When is Randy going to lose his mind? Please? Where is that Moss at?

Why, with less than 3 minutes to go and a 14 point lead, was Brady still in the game and throwing? This sort of stat padding makes me want to drive an ice pick into my temple. Sure, I know you’re thinking it would make anyone who is a fan of another team sick, and just about anyone would be fine with it if it were THEIR team, much like how every Patriot fan can easily justify it now. But it should make Patriot fans sick as well for four reasons.

One, its bad sportsmanship, and while the sporting landscape seems to be devoid of it in our modern world, it should still mean something. Plus, it will create bad karma. It is, to some degree, already seeping out through the fan base and into the Red Sox. Deny it all you want, but it makes you wonder how all of their starters have suddenly become ineffective sans one.

Two, if this continues all they are proving is that with deep pockets and a big cart, anyone can buy a championship. Ask any Marlins fan how good they still feel about 1997, especially after 1998.

Three, the better they are, the more the questions about how they became so good will linger like stinky cheese. Remember, the surveillance they did would not help them in the game they taped, but in FUTURE games.

And four and possibly most importantly, if Belichick keeps up this sort of eff you behavior, it will only be a matter of time before some angry team with nothing to lose decides to break Brady in half just because.

Wait, aren’t the Patriots playing Joey Porter and the Dolphins this week? Hmmmm.

Yes, I know, I’m reaching.


NFL, the alternative Universe

The Browns and Chiefs have fought and clawed to 3-3 and semi-respectability.

The Bengals and Saints have reverted to form and are squarely at 1-4.

The proud Dolphins have reached a new low at 0-6, effectively put a big stamp on the rest of the season and are walking with it to the post office. Hey, maybe they’ll set another record this year, kind of like the 72 squad but in reverse.

Seattle coach Mike Holmgren was hopping mad (I love that phrase) because NBC cameras caught a brief look at his play calling card during the game broadcast. Yeah Mike, that’s what you should be worried about after getting trounced two weeks in a row, that the camera saw your play calling card that only you and your team can decipher. How long before that becomes a major excuse when they tank a game?

Kevin Everett is making “solid and noticeable progress”. A better story could not be written.

However, worse ones can.

Najeh Davenport was charged with domestic violence, child endangering and unlawful restraint stemming from a confrontation with the mother of his 5 year old son. Nothing good lasts long. I do not know all the details of it, and I’m sure this emerged from already existing animosity between the two as well as money issues. But Najeh, no matter how things go, you should never do that such things. Keep your head about yourself and remember, as much as she may be trying to hurt you, or use your son for leverage, he’s still his mother. Show some respect and teach your son to respect women, and people, as well. Plus, arguing and fighting with her while she’s holding the boy? Come on man! That’s the kind of behavior one would expect from….
O.J. Simpson! So now two of the Juice’s co-defendants are copping pleas and turning on him faster than Superman turning back time. It does not look good for Nordberg, as it seems these gentlemen are confirming guns were involved, which would bring on a whole new world of troubles. Apparently, the Juice said the following to his cohorts before the memorabilia liberation went down.

"Hey, just bring some firearms. We won't have to use 'em, but … just to look tough, you know, so that these people know that, you know, we're here for business."

Now I don’t believe that one bit. Everyone knows O.J. loves the personal touch of a knife to show he’s there for business.


Upon Further Review

Just a small question, as a few weeks of observation has got my mind wondering. Why do defenses give an 8-9 yard cushion off the line of scrimmage to receivers? It seems to be nothing more than an open invitation for a quick throw to the outside and an easy 6-8 yard pickup. Sure, if the quarterback makes that throw, and the defensive back reads the play correctly, he will make the highlights on Sportscenter for “jacking up” the receiver. But how often does that happen? Usually one quick juke in that scenario and the receiver is off, leaving the defensive back to try to figure out where that burning smell is coming from. How many times have I seen Brady or Manning (the Peyton version) do this in their careers? Like a million? And how many times were they successful at it? Like almost a million? I’m not sure where it comes from, either lax defensive coordinators or egomaniacal corners and safeties, but this has got to go. Why give up yards and the ability to lay a hit on the receiver for no sensible reason? Am I grossly missing something?


Steelers Around the World

In a return to action, the team this week travels to Italy for a game in the capital city of Rome. Home to more than 2.7 million residents, this city dates back to the 8th century BC. Rome has been the center of many key moments in human history, being the center of the Roman Empire, the location of Vatican City, a key center during the Renaissance and the home of the fascist government of Mussolini during World War II. These barely scratch the surface of the story of Rome.

The history of this city is found throughout, with architectural marvels dotting the landscape that have been around hundreds of years. Such sights of historical note one visiting this beautiful city must see include the Roman Forum, the Pantheon, the Catacombs, Circus Maximus, the Baths of Caracalla, the Arch of Constantine and much more. There is so much more Rome offers, including the arts, culture and museums that add to the rich tapestry of the city. Even a long weekend visiting for the game would not be nearly enough to see and experience everything this city has to offer.

The history of sports in Rome is almost as rich as their artistic ventures with sporting events, competitions and gladiatorial battles that date back almost to the founding of the city. The city in more recent years hosted the 1960 Olympics and is in the running for the 2020 Olympics. Romans regularly enjoy a spirited soccer match as well as rugby, basketball, tennis and to a lesser extent cycling.

For the game, the ideal location, at least to me, would be The Colosseum. This ancient gladiator arena once held 50,000 blood thirsty fans. But as it has not been used since the 6th century, and is in ruined condition due to earthquakes and stone thieves, it would not be such a good idea.

However, Rome also has the Stadio Olimpico to offer for our needs. Built in 1936 and the center of the 1960 Olympics, it houses 82,000 raucous fans for regular soccer matches and the occasional FIFA World Cup. When Pittsburgh takes the field, they will find waiting for them on the other sideline Detroit. After all, when you are in Rome, how could you battle anything but Lions?


Resistance Is Futile

It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. The Patriots are not a dominant team. They are not a greater sum than their parts. They do not have a superior coach. No, none of this is true. The root of their success is easy to explain, and so simple I’m surprised no one has picked up on it yet. The Patriots are the Borg.

Think about it, it all makes sense. You cannot stop them. You cannot defeat them. It might be possible to slow them, but that momentary success is always followed by a severe retaliation. When one is injured, two more fill his spot with no drop off in production. They can remain effective, much like an actual Borg, if up to 78% of their collective is damaged or out of commission.

They have no remorse for their victims. They look upon the vanquished with a cold disinterest. You can see a perfect example of this at the end of each game when they start running up the score, turning each contest into a blow out and crushing the soul of their opponent. They suck the life out of the opposing team, leaving them broken shells with no hope remaining. Did they need the last touchdown in Dallas? No. But they have been programmed to score during a game. As long as the game is still occurring, and there is time on the clock, they will continue on their mission.

You want more proof? No problem. Look at all their talk about buying into the team concept and the Patriot way. This is not a philosophy, this is in actuality assimilation.

Randy Moss provides a prime example of their assimilation. A loud, boisterous malcontent his entire career, Moss was seen by many to be a potential locker room cancer and albatross to the Patriots. What happened? Nothing. No one has heard a peep from him the entire season. All we have seen is stellar plays and record production. And why is this? Simple, Moss has been assimilated into the collective. His uniqueness has become a part of the Borg.

They neither accept nor glorify individual honors or awards. All team, all the time. Everything that is done is done to improve the collective. They even changed how pregame introductions are done, choosing to be introduced as a team and ignoring individual distinctions. They do not even make a distinction on the back of the jerseys between Kyle Brady and Tom Brady. Both are merely known as Brady.

And like the Borg, once they conquer they assimilate the vanquished. Look at last year. The Dolphins beat them 21-0. So what do they do? They spend the off season acquiring and assimilating Sammie Morris and Wes Welker. This improved the collective and destroyed the Dolphins. Another foe coldly dismantled and assimilated. The year before that, they did the same to Junior Seau.

When one becomes disconnected from the collective or is no longer useful, they dispose of them. They clear out perceived weaknesses and dead weight without emotion or concern to improve the collective. Deion Branch became disconnected, now he is banished to the Pacific Northwest. Willie McGinest, Lawyer Milloy and Reche Caldwell all were disposed of after their usefulness was deemed over.

How do you defeat such an adversary? How do you stop them? Is there any hope left for the rest of the league?

We need Jean Luc Picard more than ever.


Idiot of the week

Phil Simms joins the esteemed ranks of idiots this week, although Rodney Harrison did give him a run for his money. What brought the former Giant and Super Bowl champion to this exalted position? Why his commentary during the Patriots/Cowboys tilt of course. Phil said the following making me wonder if the brains of every fan watching a game would explode if he teamed up with Joe Buck.

“Tony Romo is throwing the ball.”

“Tony Romo is in this game” emphasis on in

“Both teams will throw the ball.” Coming out of halftime

Come on, is there not one decent color commentator out there who does not yap just to make noise and justify a paycheck? I thought Jaws would make a difference and set the bar, but it seems as though he has been grasped by the monster of clichéd broadcasting and she’s dragging him into the pit of mediocrity.


Taking The Week Off

Cleveland – Tell me, who’s living the high life this week more than Drew Carey? He started his new gig on The Price Is Right, he got engaged, the Browns are showing more life than they have in years even looking downright frisky, the Indians are in the American League Championship Series and are leading, plus the Cavaliers have LeBron James and relevancy. Cleveland rocks indeed.

Green Bay – Lubing and replacing any non functioning parts on Bionic Favre.

San Diego – The team, minus the coaches and staff, are having a weeklong retreat to pray that Norv Turner does not screw up and change back to the offense from the first 4 games of the season.

Carolina – What else to do but teach Vinnie about the offense and who the players, the coaches and the staff are and stocking up on Ensure.


On Tap This Week

I watched G.I. Joe as a kid. I grew up aware, and taking to heart, that knowing is half the battle. I also had a teacher once that told me paying attention was half the battle. I figured if I paid attention and knew the battle was won. This is what you get when you do neither.

Last week 7-6
Season to date 52-37

Ok, I paid attention this week. But will I know?


Baltimore (4-2) at Buffalo (1-4)

Ok, Buffalo showed some life against Dallas and had a week off. Now they have named Trent Edwards the starter. I could see them winning some games. I doubt this one, though. Baltimore has a penchant of sticking it to lesser teams. Buffalo is, to them, a lesser team.

Ravens over Bills


Minnesota (2-3) at Dallas (5-1)

Adrian Peterson has announced his presence to the NFL. Dallas, however, needs to show they can win. I am giving Dallas the edge and think they will use the Vikings to cleanse their palate from the previous week. I know, I thought Seattle would do the same thing last week. Dallas is a better team than Seattle, though.

Cowboys over Vikings


New England (6-0) at Miami (0-6)

Yeah, Brady does not do well in Miami. I think that wisdom will go right out the window before halftime. Entertaining side note, this could be the week Joey Porter snaps. Could be the only reason to watch.

Patriots over Dolphins


Atlanta (1-5) at New Orleans (1-4)

Who is watching this game? Ok, two teams with similar records, but each team is going in a decidedly different direction. Wanna guess which is which? Hint, the bad team has a new quarterback this week.

Saints over Falcons


San Francisco (2-3) at New York Giants (4-2)

Middling defense, Alex Smith regressing and Frank Gore stuck in first gear; things are not looking good for the Niners. The Giants continue to roll, especially with Brandon Jacobs back.

Giants over 49ers


Arizona (3-3) at Washington (3-2)

You think Washington will make the same mistakes they did last week in losing to the Pack? Think Kurt will last long if he gets sacked on that bum elbow? Me neither.

Redskins over Cardinals


Tennessee (3-2) at Houston (3-3)

If Vince plays, then it's the Titans all the way. He loves to put on a show in his hometown. If he does not, then Houston takes it, especially if Andre Johnson does play. It looks like Vince will play. Tough call. I’ll pay for it Monday either way.

Texans over Titans


Tampa Bay (4-2) at Detroit (3-2)

Another tough call, as Tampa is playing strong but Detroit is rested. I don’t know if home field means anything here. Another one I’ll shake my head about on Monday, but sometimes one has to take a chance on a feeling.

Lions over Buccaneers


Kansas City (3-3) at Oakland (2-3)

I don’t buy either team. But Larry Johnson is finding his stride and Oakland has the 28th ranked rushing defense. Recipe for disaster

Chiefs over Raiders


New York Jets (1-5) at Cincinnati (1-4)

Yuck. Ok, both teams are crappy, but at least Cincinnati can throw the ball further than 10 yards. Pennington finally implodes completely, and the Bungles stave implosion off for one more week.

Bengals over Jets


Chicago (2-4) at Philadelphia (2-3)

LJ Smith is doubtful to play. Brian Westbrook could have a field day with the suddenly porous Bear defense. As long as Philly does not kick to Hester and keeps the game in Griese’s hands, they’ll be fine.

Eagles over Bears


St. Louis (0-6) at Seattle (3-3)

How many bad match ups are there this week? Ok, how about the team with a somewhat healthy, and playing, starting running back. Either Holmgren gets to boast all is fine or Seattle starts unraveling at the seams.

Seahawks over Rams


Pittsburgh (4-1) at Denver (2-3)

This game seems awfully familiar too. Do we play Indianapolis next week?

Steelers over Broncos

Monday

Indianapolis (5-0) at Jacksonville (4-1)

Is it just me, or is no one talking about the Colts? The defending Super Bowl champions are at 5-0 and they get less press than a weekday curling competition. Think that is motivating? You want specifics, fine. A rested Colt team is going up against a Jags team that embarrassed them last December in a nationally broadcast primetime game. Now, Peyton is on the biggest stage of the week feeling slighted because they are being ignored by everyone in favor of the Patriots even though they are the champs and has all his weapons back and healthy. Now who do you think will win?

Colts over Jaguars

The Crystal Ball 2007 Week 6

The list is a map of pain. Disappointments and gut punches that linger like expired cheese. All by themselves they can produce sadness and tears. But combined? They become enough to bring Big Bad John to his knees.

Wide right.

4 straight Super Bowl Losses.

Each loss worse than the previous one.

The losses overshadowing the effort and talent it takes to get there four straight times.

OJ.

The Rob Johnson era.

The Music City Miracle.

The glory of the Super Bowl teams long faded and nothing but bad, empty years of no relevance since Kelly, Thomas and Reed retired to fill the void.

Losing on a literally last second field goal to Denver.

Kevin Everett.

Peerless Price leaving and returning only to be lost for the season.

A defense ravaged by injuries.

JP Losman, the new Joey Harrington.

The creation of boneless Buffalo wings (a TRAVESTY and a crime, if they are boneless, they’re NUGGETS not wings. Ok, this is my complaint, but I bet the locals would agree.)

And now the collapse during the Cowboy game as Monday Night Football triumphantly returned to the city?

My God, have not the good people of Buffalo suffered enough?


Recap

Do not trust David Carr like the rest of us? No problem, throw in Matt Moore. Wait, who?

Well, so much for the theory that Carr just needed a better offensive line.

Trent Green, please retire before someone knocks your block off completely.

The Dolphins now, for the seventh consecutive year, have a critical QB issue. Was Ginn Jr. really what they needed more than Brady Quinn?

Damon Huard bruised his throwing shoulder, yet will play on. I guess Croyle really is that bad.

Larry Johnson has 275 yards rushing and zero touchdowns on the season. No matter how good you are, you need an offensive line. By the way, good job caving to his contract demands Chiefs. It’s sooooo paying off.

The San Diego offense finally woke up. Is this for real or just against a weak Bronco team? The Eagles woke up too, but saw spring had not sprung yet and went back to sleep.

Bronco fans, I know losing sucks but show some pride and support. Your stadium was almost empty by end of third quarter! The same goes for you Chiefs fans.

Bronco C Tom Nalen is out for season with torn bicep. That makes it that much harder for an already struggling offense to go anywhere.

Very fast the Broncos have turned into a mess. I have to ask the question. Seriously Shanahan, was Cutler really ready, or were you just sick of Plummer? And was last year’s defensive line really that bad that you had to dismiss all of then in favor of the sieve you have now?

Looks like the Cardinal quarterback controversy has been settled as Leinart will be out for the season with broken collarbone. I wonder if Whisenhunt wished upon a star.

5 turnovers and horrible offensive play and yet still Vince Young wins. A winning attitude is contagious.

Titan DB Fuller had a great pick for a touchdown. Nice step up by the defense.

Giants DB Ross also had a great pick for a touchdown to ice the game

Byron Leftwich; did you lose all ability to be a pro quarterback with a few weeks off? Leftwich went 2-8 in relief of an ineffective Harrington and most of the passes were badly overthrown. I’m not sure what was worse, his decisions or his depth perception

The Falcons are another team that looks like a mess. Poor running, poor line play, poor defensive play. Was Vick really the only thing holding it all together? Scary thought.

The Detroit Lions. All big play offensive sizzle, very little steak. They’re like the Bungles without the crime.

Kris Brown, wow what a game. That was the first time a kicker hit three figgies over 50 yards in a game. He nailed shots from 54, 43, 54, 20 and the game winner a 57 yard field goal. Outstanding.

Alstott, Williams, Pittman – Caution, running the ball for Tampa Bay could be hazardous to your health

No Harrison, no Addai, no Sanders, no problem. Opposing defenses, please meet Kenton Keith. The Colts rolled despite a who’s who on the injury list. Much like another team I know.

Speaking of which…


Steelers 21 – Seahawks 0

The team honored Chuck Noll before the game, dragging the old guy out to mid field for the crowd to roar. He looked good, just with a few more miles on the odometer. He is still the only head coach to win 4 Super Bowls. I hope that lasts.

Since Chuck was in attendance, the team treated him to the kind of dominating performance he established in the 70’s. The defense allowed only 144 total yards of offense, zero points which was Seattle’s first shutout since 2000, 8 first downs, 38 total yards of rushing and a mere 19:15 time of possession for Seattle, who looked hapless offensively almost the entire game.

The best part was they dominated despite injuries to key personnel. And while I enjoyed the win, it is still not a good sight seeing Troy and Hines chatting on the sidelines in street clothes or Casey in street clothes. Nor Holmes standing around because of a hamstring injury suffered in pregame warm-ups.

Cedrick Wilson stepped up nicely in place of Holmes, though. Depth is a good thing.

I said last week that this game would be a test for Tomlin, to see how he gets the team ready after a loss. Tomlin’s grade for the game, easily he earned an A+.

The first half was a defensive slugfest until Najeh Davenport’s great run to put team in scoring territory. Plus kudos goes to Nate Washington for a fantastic block during the run. Think he learned that from Hines.

Holmgren showed off once again his fantastic clock management skills at the end of the first half. He had 3 time outs and two minutes to get some kind of scoring, anything. He did not use a single time out, forcing the offense into a bad situation with the clock pressing them into desperation which led to Ike Taylor’s great pick on the one yard line.

Taylor had great coverage all day, and was named the defensive player of the week for his efforts.

I thought I was going to shoot myself when saw Joe Buck was calling game. He was not too bad for the most part, although I may have tuned him out, but he still managed to stick his foot in his mouth. Joe stated at one point the Seahawks defense did a decent job against the Steelers. Joe, what game were you watching? Pittsburgh scored 21 points and held the ball for 40:45 minutes of the game racking up 342 yards in offense, 19 first downs and could not be stopped on a drive in which Pittsburgh committed 3 holding penalties. If this is Joe’s idea of decent, I’d hate to see what he thinks is bad.

Pittsburgh opened the third quarter with a stunning 10+ minute drive that went 80 yards and ended in a touchdown. The drive consumed clock and wore down the already gasping Seattle defense. The only problems were too many mental mistakes on the drive, mainly holding calls (although the one on Heath Miller was total BS) and the injury to Marvel Smith. Luckily it turned out to be minor.

Note to the Seahawks, if you didn’t know this already, you cannot arm tackle Ben. I thought you might have learned that one a few years ago.

Ben ended game with 13 straight completions. He can break the Steelers record with 3 more completions in the next game. He also finished the day with a line of 18-22 for 206 yards 1 TD 0 INT.

The Steelers are now 31-3 when Ben attempts 31 or less passes.

1:50 left in game, Charlie Batch time!

One sad note is that this will most likely be the last game played by Seattle fullback Mack Strong. Strong felt tingling in his hands Sunday morning, and after a few hits early in the contest, he felt his hand and arm numbing. The diagnosed neck injury will bring a great career to an end.

What I Liked From Pittsburgh: Stifling defense, efficient clock consuming offense, the Heinz Field Hop.

What I Did Not Like From Pittsburgh: The mental errors and 3 holding penalties.


Bears 27 – Packers 20

The Bears finally stepped up when it mattered, and the Packers finally stumbled. I wonder if the game would have been different if Green Bay had a reliable running game. It was even more noticeable in this game how desperate they need one.

Speaking of running games, Cedric Benson needs to learn to run up the middle. Bouncing to the outside will not cut it.

Was it just me, or did John seem to be in awe of Brett? He was quiet most of the time about Brett, as though if he spoke, the magic of Favre would disappear. I was kind of disappointed, I expected much more gushing.

Brett finally had one of those really bad decision throws, a heave ho pass that Urlacher picked off. It burned them too.

James Jones needs to take better care of the ball. It seems like an obvious statement, but when you get stripped twice, perhaps he needs reminded. The Pack could have put this game away early.

The Pack has a terrible 2 minute offense. They desperately need to learn how to manage time better. Unfortunately, this seems to be a common problem in the NFL as I have seen the Packers, Cowboys, Eagles, Seahawks and other teams run horribly executed hurry up offenses this season. Is there no one out there who can teach teams to run plays designed to eat yardage and conserve clock? Marv Levy, can you run a clinic somewhere on this?

Someone please remind Green Bay each game lasts 4 quarters, not 2.

The Bears hung tough the entire game, but still their defense looks much weaker than years past.

Brett managed to tie another record, this time the all time interceptions record. You take the good, you take the bad.

Easy to point out the trouble for Green Bay, it’s hard to win with 4 turnovers.


Cowboys 25 – Bills 24

Well, unless you are the Cowboys.

What an exciting, thrilling, action packed tilt that went literally down to the last seconds. Ok, it was all that if you were anyone BUT a Bills fan.

I felt for the Bills fans. They were amped for the Monday Night Football return. The first game hosted by Buffalo in 13 years, which seems odd to me. By the third quarter, even though I had picked Dallas, I was hoping for the upset. It’s always great to see the underdog take one. Alas, they showed exactly why they were the underdog by the end.

It was not all bad for Buffalo, as their special teams looked fantastic. The fake punt and then the kick to the coffin corner, which pinned Dallas deep and ultimately lead to the first Bills points of the game were stellar. Then later the kick return team tacked on 7 more points with a touchdown return. Their special teams units only failed them once.

Tony Romo had 6 turnovers the game, 5 of which were interceptions and two of which were returned for touchdowns. One touchdown was scored on a spectacular play in which Chris Kelsay tipped Romo’s pass and caught it in the end zone for the score. Two of the interceptions came within 87 seconds of each other, on the Cowboys first two drives.

With the over throws and questionable plays and turnovers, for most of the game, Romo looked more the rookie than Edwards.

Question, why can’t the Bills run for 1 yard? 2 shots straight up the middle, each netting zero gain. I call this a coaching error, since they should have tried something different on the second attempt, perhaps a bootleg or play action call.

For fun let's review the Bills scoring for the game. 14 points on defense, 7 points on special teams, 3 on offense. There’s your biggest problem.

Despite the badly misfiring offense, the Cowboys only trailed by 7 at halftime. A mark at how bad the Bills, and their offense, are.

Ok, so we found out during the game that Tony Romo keeps a note from Bill Parcells in his locker. Also we found out Trent Edwards keeps a note from Bill Walsh on his refrigerator. Pro football quarterbacks or 14 year old girls with a crush, you make the call.

I could be crazy, but after watching him all evening, Dick Jauron looks like Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark but after they open the ark.

Fourth quarter

Everything in the game came down to what happened here. Let’s look at a few pertinent happenings and finally, the last minute.

The Cowboys defense stepped up to end a Buffalo scoring drive that would have iced the game by intercepting Edwards and deploying a fantastic run back. But I had a problem here with Roy Williams, was dogging it up the field. Roy, allow me to help you out, so this does not happen again against a better team. On plays like this you need to get your ass up the field and lay some blocks. If you had, your teammate might have gone all the way for a score. The ball ended up being fumbled and luckily recovered by Dallas, but if Roy was up there in the first place, this chain of events might not have happened.

Edwards finally made a bad mistake with this play, and at the worst time. He should not have forced that throw. But for that matter the pass play should not have been called. Buffalo was already in position to tack on a field goal and put the game almost out of reach. The Cowboys, and their inconsistent offense, might have found the additional three points insurmountable. This was one of many bad moves by Dick Jauron.

Now, the Cowboys are in possession with the ball on the Bills 17. Two plays in; we have Romo’s 5th interception. This tied a MNF and Cowboy record. Congratulations Tony.

Here is also where we finally see TO jawing on sidelines about losing. However, he did not get into Romo’s face about it. Perhaps this is a softer TO.

I mentioned earlier that the Cowboys are one of the teams with a bad two minute offense. Well, here’s why. They needed 8 points just to tie the game and had 3:45 to get up the field and score. They dilly-dallied so much going 80 yards that by the time they actually scored the touchdown, there were only 20 seconds left on the game clock. The problem arises in the fact that all along they needed the two point conversion merely to pull even with Buffalo, as opposed to having the option to take a lead. Note to Jason Garrett, when you are more than 7 points behind, the hurry up offense NEEDS to hurry up. You cannot rely on a 2 point conversion, you have to conserve some time in case it fails. Now, after the conversion fails and they remain 2 points behind, they have to rely on the onside kick, which is a dicier proposition than the conversion play.

And as a side note, that 2 point conversion attempt should have had a call of defensive pass interference. The DB NEVER played the ball; he played the receiver the entire time never once looking for the ball. That is a classic example of pass interference. Why did the official, who was standing right there, not call this?

This set up a fantastic finish, and these last 20 seconds did nothing but crush Buffalo fans repeatedly. The onside kick is successful, proven after the mandatory review, and Dallas had the ball at the Buffalo 47. This is where the Buffalo special teams let the team down. But I call this more of a coaching failure. You knew this was coming. It was obvious what Dallas would do here. Where were the hands personnel and why was the return team not stacked in anticipation of the kick?

So, Dallas has a 1st and 10 with 18 seconds left and Romo tosses a 22 yard completion to Owens. The offense does a quick line up and spikes the ball. One second remains in regulation as the Cowboys line up for the winning field goal. But wait! Owens never had possession. An official review shows the ball hits the ground. Buffalo fans breathe deep. 2nd and 10 with 13 seconds left, Romo dumps a short pass to the sidelines for 4 yards and out of bounds goes the receiver. Move to 3rd and 6 with 6 seconds left, and another quick throw to the outside flat and out of bounds goes the receiver with 2 seconds left. Where oh where were the defenders on these plays? There are only two logical places for a pass to go, either into the end zone, which is doubtful or to the sidelines. This may be the worst call by the Buffalo coaches all game. All they had to do was take away the end zone and the sidelines. Dallas had no timeouts remaining. Give them the middle of the field. With time ticking down, if they took the open middle of the field, they would have not had enough time to run up, get set and spike the ball. This was proven on the very first play when they barely got the spike off before time expired, and they had 20 seconds to work with. If the Buffalo coaches were smart, all that was needed were to rush two, send 4 to the sidelines and 5 deep.

Now with 2 seconds left, Dallas lines up for the 53 yard field goal attempt by rookie kicker Nick Folk whose previous career high was set earlier that evening. Boom goes the kick, its good, Buffalo is crestfallen and the Cowboys jubilant. But wait; hope remains as Jauron called the timeout before the kick. Icing the kicker has worked thus far, perhaps the magic can linger one more week. Everyone lines up again, and Jauron finds out you cannot ice a kicker with ice water in his veins. Boom goes the kick, it’s dead on like the previous attempt, Dallas is ecstatic and Buffalo has its heart torn asunder for the umpteenth time that evening.

Talking with Tony Romo after the game, Michele Tafoya told him he had 4 interceptions in the first half. He said, 4? She stated yes, and a fifth in the second. Romo shrugged and said it felt more like 7. That’s the type of quarterback you want, one who even when he’s doing terrible still finds a way put the bad behind him and lead the team to victory and can be humble, gracious and funny. That’s a leader.

I said to the Lady K as soon as the Bills took a 7-0 lead that this would be just like last years Cardinals/Bears game. And it was almost identical. Home team a massive underdog who had not hosted a Monday Night game in years, amped up home crowd, the underdog making improbable plays to take a shocking lead, home team choking said lead away in the second half while visiting favorite makes the handful of big plays needed to snatch victory away. Even the score was almost identical.

I picked the Cowboys to win, like I did the Bears last year, so part of me wanted to see them succeed for my own selfish reasons. But like last year, part of me wanted to see the underdog pull it off. I thought as I watched the game it would go down just like last year, the underdog pulls ahead, they fight tooth and nail; the favorite slowly catches up and wins at the last second. And it did. I stated at halftime that the Bills would be fine if they did not do what the Cardinals did last year, tighten up in the second half. They did so well in the first half because they were loose and had nothing to lose. The second half they had something to lose and knowing that caused them to choke it all away.

If it is a mirror of the game last year, then the Cowboys will go to the Super Bowl. Mark it down right now I am making a nonsensical prediction on one game.

When the game ended, I was pretty much on the edge of my seat in anticipation of the post game interviews. I wanted nothing more than to see Dick Jauron come out and start pounding the podium while angrily extolling that the Cowboys are who we thought they were. And the Bills let them off the hook. If the media wanted to crown their asses then crown them, but the Cowboys were who the Bills thought they were. It would have been his only saving grace for such a badly coached game. Alas, Jauron could not even get that right.


NFL, the alternative Universe

Paul Brown Stadium has a pigeon problem. Stadium officials are deploying laser pointers in hopes of irritating the birds so they will leave. Why not just make them pay to watch games? This plan was enacted after a proposal to shoot the birds was withdrawn after complaints by PETA. I’m thinking of a joke involving guns, shooting, and Bengals players, but that seems too obvious. Let’s move on.

Speaking of PETA, Michael Vick spent a day at PETA taking a voluntary animal rights course. He received a certificate for completion of the course and may appear in a public service announcement for the organization. Nope I’m still not buying it; although his sales pitch is getting better.

Pacman thinks he’s done enough and is ready to come back, petitioning the NFL for early reinstatement. Oh yeah? Well, if Pacman was really serious about his NFL career, I would not see him in every ad spot for TNA wrestling. Seems to me he’s mostly just serious about a paycheck and face time. Come on Pacman, Vick looks more convincing than you right now.

The fertile Travis Henry filed a lawsuit against NFL to keep from being suspended for a failing a drug test for a third time. Henry’s defense will consist of the argument that the levels of THC in his system were low, and therefore came from second hand marijuana smoke. I wish I were making this up, but truth really is stranger than fiction. Given that marijuana lowers sperm counts and sexual drive, Henry’s defense should simply be to bring into the court his nine kids and their nine mothers and say, does this look like the output of a man who smokes weed? I’d buy that defense.

The NFL imposed a six-game suspension on quarterback Tim Couch for using performance-enhancing drugs. Couch is considered suspended by the NFL though he is not on any roster and has not appeared in an NFL game since 2003. Really. This is a problem we need to worry about? How the deuce did they even find out? Hey, Roger, you are starting to make me wonder. Are there not more pressing problems going on? What’s the latest on the concussion issue, or the disability payments, or even the New England Cheaters? How come we cannot know what was in those tapes and documents? Nope, none of that matters. We need to worry about marginally talented ex players and their taking of performance enhancers. And while I’m on the subject of getting to important matters, how come I have seen little movement on the Super Bust game?!?!?!?


Steelers Around the World

This week, there will be no game. Even a fictional around the world football season needs a bye week.


Idiot of the week

It was fairly obvious who the idiot was this week. Nope, I do not mind jumping on this band wagon.

Yes we will be standing over the prone form and screaming at Texans defensive lineman Travis Johnson for going off on Trent Green about his low hit. Yes, it was a low hit, and a cheap shot. We’ll be honest about it Trent is not a pristine victim here. But while it may have been low and cheap, it was still a legal hit nonetheless.

What I want to know is what is wrong with someone who goes off on a man prone on the ground and not moving? And then to add more to it later in the locker room by screaming about it to the press. Travis, a little PR 101 here, you won’t get any sympathy from people that way. Sure Green was wrong for going for the legs. But he was trying to block you and protect himself at the same time, and you outweighed him by more than 100 pounds. This in and of itself was a stupid idea. By the way, who set this play up? Was it Cam Cameron? If so, you get an honorable mention for sending your 37 year old quarterback out to block a lineman.

Regardless, Travis you look more the insensitive ass for your actions. It was bad enough acting like a twit on the field, but in the heat of the moment things happen. But afterwards, when the game was over, by going off in the locker room about it to the press? In case you missed that, here’s part of what he said.

"The bottom line is, it was a malicious hit. It was uncalled for. He's like the scarecrow. He wants to get courage while I wasn't looking, and hit me in my knee instead of trying to hit me in my head. God don't like ugly, you know what I mean?"

Nope, I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean Travis. I do know this; you have definitely beaten all competition this week and are a Grade A idiot. And by the way, the cowardly lion was looking for courage. At least be smart enough to get your references right.


Taking The Week Off

Buffalo – Grief counselors are working overtime in Buffalo this week, trying to get the fans to understand that one day the glory will return. Just not today.

Denver – Shanahan is planning his next master stroke, undoubtedly to bench Cutler for a local Denver high school student because he has better potential.

Detroit – Marinelli will be looking into this new fangled thing other teams are using called defense.

Indianapolis – Nothing special to do but get healthy. Like they need it.

San Francisco – Nolan will take his suits to the dry cleaners and convince Frank Gore not to go mad, that it will get better.

Pittsburgh - "We're five games into the football season. We played five preseason games. Do the math. Anybody who feels good right now is an alien.''
-- Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin, on his beat-up team.

I’m guessing they spend the week getting healthy. Maybe take a day off for some Primanti Brothers and an ice cold Iron City.


On Tap This Week

Ok, let’s check the ol’ score from last week.

Last week 10-4
Season to date 45-31

Hey, not too bad. I did not care that much this week, I was enjoying the complete demolition that happened in Heinz Field too much to notice. Unfortunately, I’ll have to pay attention this week. Although, it will be easier to pay attention since we have three fewer games. Blasted bye weeks.


Minnesota (1-3) at Chicago (2-3)

Ok, so the Bears won. I still say Orton needs to be in the game for the real magic to happen. Lovie, I implore to you, give Orton the ball! Think of the neck beard man!

Bears over Vikings


Miami (0-5) at Cleveland (2-3)

"If you ask me who's going to win the Joey Porter-Kellen Winslow battle: Me.”
- Joey Porter

Normally, I’d side with Joey. But I’ve seen the team around him now.

Browns over Dolphins


Washington (3-1) at Green Bay (4-1)

Santana Moss is hampered with a groin injury and Randle El may be out with a hamstring injury. The Washington defense easily handled the Lion offense, while the Packers had trouble with Brian Griese. Ok, perhaps something special is happening in Wisconsin. Must be the cheese.

Packers over Redskins


Cincinnati (1-3) at Kansas City (2-3)

"There is some selfishness (on the team). We need to work to get (it) out and move on. I'm not going to go into detail. It's a team issue. We need to resolve it as a team and move on."
- Carson Palmer

Looks like some dissent brewing in the Bungle locker room. But they are rested, and Palmer is much better than Croyle and Huard combined.

Bengals over Chiefs


Philadelphia (1-3) at New York Jets (1-4)

Yikes. Well, Philadelphia has had a week off. That has to mean something. Of course, if the Jets play Clemens, you never know.

Eagles over Jets


Tennessee (3-1) at Tampa Bay (3-2)

I’m not sold on Tampa Bay just yet. They haven’t beaten anyone yet. As a matter of fact, the combined record of the teams they have defeated is 3-11. Plus, just who will be running the ball? Yeah, I’m taking Vince again.

Titans over Buccaneers


Houston (3-2) at Jacksonville (3-1)

Nope, nope, nope. Everyone is saying Jacksonville. Nope, not me. You know why? Because two of Houston’s four victories last season came against, you guessed it, Jacksonville. Crazy? Maybe. But history has a tendency to repeat itself.

Texans over Jaguars


St. Louis (0-5) at Baltimore (3-2)

McNair’s back is acting up. I guess we’ll be on Boller time. Hard to trust a team that only scored 9 points last week. But then again, it’s hard to trust Gus Frerotte on the road.

Ravens over Rams


Carolina (3-2) at Arizona (3-2)

Jake Delhomme’s season is over. Carolina is in the capable hands of David Carr and one snap away from the dawn of the Vinnie Testaverde era. Ummm, I’ll Kurt Warner for the win Alex.

Cardinals over Panthers


Oakland (2-2) at San Diego (2-3)

Oakland’s strength lies in its running game. And right now, that does not look good. Sure they had a week off, but will that mean anything if San Diego indeed has its groove back?

Chargers over Raiders


New England (5-0) at Dallas (5-0)

The much hyped game of the week. Ten bucks says it will not turn out that way. The interesting subplot, we get to see Moss and TO on the same field. Who will crack first? Perhaps this note left on TO’s locker will shed some light on it.

"Dear Reporters,

"Due to the magnitude of this week's game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday's game.

"Sincerely, Terrell Owens

"p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready."

Yeah.

Patriots over Cowboys


New Orleans (0-4) at Seattle (3-2)

The team being repeatedly crushed or the one who just got crushed, who should I choose. How about we go with the one with hope left and wanting to prove last week was a fluke, although it wasn’t.

Seahawks over Saints


Monday

New York Giants (3-2) at Atlanta (1-4)

I’d make some comment about crappy competition on Monday night, but after last week it might actually be entertaining. Well, half the game will be entertaining.

Giants over Falcons

The Crystal Ball 2007 Week 5

Revenge, as the saying goes, is a dish best served cold. The reasons for revenge can be as varied as the methods of exacting it. Perhaps a person felt slighted by a joke at a party. Or perhaps it was something far more sinister, like an illicit tryst or theft. Whatever the reasoning as a species we tend to feel, from time to time, the need to exact revenge on those who have done us wrong in the past. Last weekend there were quite a few individuals attempting to exact revenge upon someone. Not all succeeded.

Ken Whisenhunt vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers - Winner Whisenhunt

Matt Schaub vs. the Atlanta Falcons – Winner Falcons

Daunte Culpepper vs. the Miami Dolphins – Winner Culpepper (but a rather poor one. Nice knee pointing after your touchdown Daunte. Like the fans cut you loose.)

Jamal Lewis vs. the Baltimore Ravens - Winner Lewis (and Browns fans)

Julian Peterson vs. the San Francisco 49ers – Winner Peterson

Joey Porter’s Guarantee vs. the Oakland Raiders – Winner Raiders. (Huh? Since when does Joey fail?)

Isaac Bruce’s Guarantee vs. the Dallas Cowboys – Winner Cowboys (not a good week for guarantees)

Marty Shottenheimer vs. A.J. Smith, Round 9 – Winner Shottenheimer

Brett Favre vs. the Dying of the Light – Winner Favre (boy is he raging)


Recap

The Cleveland Browns are 2-2 and second in the AFC North. No commentary needed, I’m as stunned as you.

The Oakland/Miami tilt was suspended for 10 minutes on account of lightning. This is the second time this season that has happened. The last time Oakland was involved as well. Perhaps their turnaround has prompted the end of times to start, and these are merely the first signs. It would make sense.

Did Brett Favre break some sort of record this weekend? I had not heard anything. You’d think something that big would have some media coverage.

Seriously, great job by Favre in capturing the all time touchdown record, and more importantly for leading his team to their fourth victory this season. Plus, watching him break the record was fantastic because you know it secretly drives Marino insane. But now that he’s broken it, can we please, PLEASE, end the idolization of Favre, at least until December?

The Detroit Lions scored 34 points in the 4th quarter. The Eagles scored 3 the entire game. It would seem their previous match up was an aberration, for both teams.

Wow, Brian Griese was such a huge improvement over Grossman. Ok, enough dilly dallying here. Chicago, your season is on the line. There is only one thing you can do. Send in Kyle Orton. Anyone with as fabulous a neck beard as Orton has to be good enough to turn things around. Do it now, Lovie, before it’s too late!

There is only one way to say this, Norv Turner sucks. It’s funny that the same fans in Qualcomm that were chanting for Shottenheimer by the end of the game were the same ones calling for his head after last year’s playoff loss. I guess they did not know how good they had it. Wait, now that I think about it, they were just chanting Marty. Perhaps they were hoping McFly would show up and take them back to last season.

I agree that Shottenheimer was not the answer to get them over the hump, but at least he managed to get them to the hump. A.J. Smith should be mortified, embarrassed and ashamed that his ego battle of wills with Shottenheimer led the Chargers to this point. If A.J. had just swallowed some pride and realized Marty coached the team to their success, it was not A.J. signing the right players alone, he would not have hastily fired Marty AFTER all of his talented coordinators had left and AFTER all good coaching candidates had been hired. If I were a Charger fan, I’d run that bum out of town on a rail for turning a talented team and potential Super Bowl participant into a running joke all because of ego. Oh, look, there is a railway stop right by Qualcomm. How convenient.


Cardinals 21 – Steelers 14

Well, a loss had to happen sometime. Better now than, say, February. And while they may happen, I don’t have to like it.

This is a problem with keeping a lesser talented team hanging around. If you do not put them away quickly, they begin to build confidence. The longer they stay close in the game, the greater that confidence builds. Eventually, if they hang around long enough it comes back to haunt you. It always does. This game was the perfect example of that.

Was this a sign of things to come? I surely hope not. It is never a good sign when you fail to beat a sub par team.

There were a lot of problems during the game. The team looked uptight and anxious after the first drive, never able to really impose their will. Most of the game was marked with mental breakdowns, poor tackling, poor line play and protection. When the line cannot establish a running game and gives up four sacks, things are not going well for them. It happens occasionally. Everyone has a bad game from time to time. Let’s not make it a habit, though.

Injuries did not help the cause either. Casey Hampton, Chris Hoke and Troy Polamalu all left in the second half with injuries. Troy’s being the most painful, with cartilage torn from his rib cage, and Hoke’s being the scariest with a spinal cord concussion. But what do they mean for the future? With the bye week upon them, the team may sit Troy this weekend in hopes of making sure this does not linger. If that happens, they need to find a way to win without him. Just the threat of Polamalu makes teams change tactics. If they cannot find a way to be an effective unit without Polamalu’s presence, the problems will mount.

This will be Tomlin’s first real test as a head coach this season. How do absorb a loss, and move on to next week and the next opponent. After watching him so far, I have a feeling putting last week behind them will be as easy and effective as putting a win behind them.

For the Cardinals, one point sticks out to me. Quarterback substitution is a good experiment, but it cannot last. A quarterback needs to know they are in charge, and their teammates like knowing someone, and just one, will be leading them each week. It will backfire eventually. Kurt Warner is happy with playing time, and he will always defer and say the team belongs to Matt Leinart, but the team will begin to wonder eventually. Leinart is used to being the man, and will not accept a platoon position. And even though this little experiment is only two weeks old, Leinart is already chafing against it, and it will eventually cause a lockerroom division.

"If I'm the franchise quarterback, play me and let me stumble, because I'll fight through it, and that will help me and our team in the long run. I know coaches want to win now, and they have their reasons. But I don't understand, and this switching back and forth is almost worse than getting benched.''

- Leinart after last Sunday’s victory.

Tread carefully Whisenhunt. You have a good thing going, do not step too far and break down your good work. Football players, especially quarterbacks and receivers, are an ego driven bunch. If they feel they are being dissed, they let it out and damn the consequences. That being said, a fantastic job done thus far to Whiz and an excellent win versus your old charges.

What I liked from Pittsburgh: Odd this is the thin section this week. Defense played well, only giving up 14 points and holding James under 100 yards. Offense, when it was moving, looked good.

What I did not like from Pittsburgh: the turnovers, the lack of capitalization on turnovers, special teams play (punt return for TD, good starting position for cards on kickoffs), 3rd down conversions, line play (bad run blocking and poor protection kept Willie under 40 yards and Big Ben sacked 4 times.) 1st and goal from the 4 ends up in a turnover is very bad.


Giants 16 – Eagles 3

What a stinker of a game. Like watching two drunks attempt to fight, but one starts to sober up near the end, and lays in a few good hits. Just bad.

Now everyone will crow about the Giant defense and their monster impressive 12 sacks, but I think that is more a by product of terrible protection by the Eagles line and the complete lack of mobility possessed by McNabb. Obviously the Lions game was a hiccup on their way to an ultra crappy season.

Big ups though to Osi Umenyiora for a stellar performance in turning in 6 sacks. He would not have been in the Philly backfield that often if he were wearing green and white. I love that in a game meant to honor Michael Strahan when he could break Lawrence Taylor’s Giants sack record, Umenyiora comes in and takes the spotlight away. Nice job.

I think the Eagles will be, for the remainder of the season, Jekyll and Hyde. Who knows if this team will show up or the one that blew out the Lions. But one thing I do know, if they do not have Westbrook in the lineup, they have no chance. I would have loved to know that tidbit before the game.

And by the way, I have to say it. The Eagles have the absolute worst hurry up offense ever. They looked even more atrocious Sunday than they did in Super Bowl XXXIX.

Madden started talking about Favre before the 1st quarter was over. Ok, who had end of first quarter in the poll?

Finally, defense was represented on the horse trailer! Did John and Al read last week’s column and realize the error of their ways? Hey, it’s possible; the Raiders are 2-2. John, now if you do read regularly don’t be mad. I was just kidding with all of those man love jokes about you and Favre. It’s all merely in good fun. Who would think such things were true! No one would think I was serious! It’s just me merely poking fun at how much you enjoy Favre and his game. (Well, sort of.)


Patriots 34 – Bengals 13

“Watson into the waiting arms of Tedy Bruschi” - Mike Tirico during a play call.

And people say football is violent and encourages the same sort of behavior. I disagree. Read Tirico’s call again. That sounded downright romantic to me.

I’m beginning to think that crutch and cast Marvin Lewis is sporting is not from a broken bone, but from shooting himself in the foot literally to match how his team does it figuratively.

Do you want to know why the Bungles lose? Here are two examples that illustrate the problem.

1st quarter 4th and less than one, Bungles have the ball in their own territory. A lean forward by Palmer gets the first down. What do the Bungles do? Go for it, which would keep their high powered offense on the field and their ultra questionable defense off it? No, they punt the ball away. The Patriots, smelling the obvious blood in the water, take the ball and march down the field to score and never look back.

9 minutes left in the game, Bungles down 17 points and currently holding the ball with 4th and goal upcoming. Their defense has not stopped the Patriots all night and they need as many points as possible. What do the Bungles do here? Do they attempt to go for the touchdown, to tear into the Patriot lead? No, they chicken out and kick a meaningless field goal, which did nothing to affect the game. Actually, it did less than nothing because after the Bungles kicked off, the Patriots proceeded to engage in a 6 minute clock killing drive that resulted in a touchdown. After that, the Bungles were left with 3 minutes to play and a 21 point deficit. This is why they fail.

The shaky Bungles defense was decimated by injury. The team was down to 2 healthy linebackers by halftime. Once again I TOLD YOU SO. They have no defense, they cannot compete. I cannot say it enough. I may have to put it in every week, just for my own enjoyment.

It is never a good sign when your star quarterback and star receiver argue vehemently on the sidelines. Ask Charger fans about that. Although, it is funny to the rest of us.

Note to all teams. If you haven’t figured it out by now, please allow me to explain it for you. When Mike Vrabel is in on offense, the ball is going to him. He has nine career receptions for NINE TOUCHDOWNS. How does this surprise anyone anymore? Even I knew it was coming.

What’s wrong with Maroney? Obviously nothing that affects the Patriots running game. Good Crimoney, even when they have injured players nothing affects the team.

Is it just me, or are the Patriots long overdue for team crippling injury.

During the game Michele Tafoya did a sideline report that spanned several points of game, about the wonderful Randy Moss. According to Tafoya, former teammate Cris Carter called Moss a good teammate, hard worker and a fantastic guy. Per her report, there are others who have also pontificated the same things, including his work ethic, how he is a great teammate and how smart Moss is as a football player. Sure, ok, fine, you can say that, and so far the early returns seem to be true. All the bad stuff he’s been known for in the past have yet to rear their ugly head making people believe that possibly Moss’ rather colorful, and selfish, past are behind him. But I just want to make the painfully obvious point that no one seems to be making; it is pretty easy to be a team guy and all around wonderful person when things are going well. Tell me how good he is if the Pats hit a 3 game losing streak.

I must say I really enjoyed the Tom Brady lovefest/infomercial during the last 2 ½ minutes of the game. Media types spend part of their time wondering why everyone hates the Patriots. That little display of abject fawning is why. Because no matter where we turn as fans, the Patriots are constantly shoved down our throats, tom in particular. Quick lesson for all in the media, I don’t care how wonderful they are, how talented, how Tom Brady is a male Adonis carved from marble and set to life by Zeus himself. I don’t want to hear about it anymore. I’m tired of it. There are 31 other teams each with 53 players who could stand a little attention, Brett Favre excluded. And I’m not the only one. And Kornheiser just a side note, all men do NOT want to be Tom, and all women do NOT want to be with him. Yeesh.


NFL, the alternative Universe

“NFL stands for Never Figure League” – John Madden.

Too true, John, too true.

Did anyone catch Dan Dierdorf’s comment during the fourth quarter of the Cardinals/Steelers game? There were large patches of sunlight splashing the field from the afternoon sun. Dierdorf felt the need to explain to those at home that the “strange light” on the field is coming from the sun shining through the windows at the top of the stadium. Really Dan? I had no idea that this strange light was called “sun-light”. Thank you for explaining the mystery. I have heard that the material known as “wood” comes from something called a “tree”. Is this also true Dan? Finally, Dan’s secret identity has been revealed, he is really Captain Obvious!

Question, why were Giants fans wearing Heinz ketchup t-shirts during the game? If it was a way to psyche out their opponent, they have the wrong side of the state, which would mean that Giant fans are very dumb in their taunting. A better shirt would have been say a Pat’s Cheese steak shirt, or Crayola, or the Liberty Bell. It left me very confused.

There is a disturbance in the NFL. More evidence is coming forth of a force to be reckoned with that may be unstoppable. More details coming next week.


Upon Further Review

With a quarter of the season in the books, there has been much talk about the potential for certain teams, read the Patriots, to go undefeated. This talk is, obviously, wildly premature. But the Patriots have posted wins in their first four games by totals of 24, 24, 31 and 21 points respectively. By the sheer numbers, they look completely dominant and unstoppable and quite possibly the best team in football, as many have labeled them. But are they? For fun, let’s do a comparison of the top five teams in the league, and take a look at their records and the combined records of the opponents they have faced thus far. Perhaps seeing how the competition stacks up will shed some light on the true best team in football.

New England Patriots - 4-0. Combined record of opponents faced - 4-12. Hmmm, seems pretty easy to score tons of points and run the table when your competition has only won 4 out of 16 games.

Dallas Cowboys - 4-0. Combined record of opponents faced - 3-13. Interesting.

Green Bay Packers - 4-0. Combined record of opponents faced - 5-11. Slightly stiffer competition.

Indianapolis Colts - 4-0. Combined record of opponents faced - 6-8.

Pittsburgh Steelers - 3-1. Combined record of opponents faced - 7-9.

Colts and Steelers seem to be leading the pack as far as playing tougher opposition.

Now for fun, let’s look at three of the crappiest teams from last year, all of which are doing fairly well so far in this young season.

Detroit Lions - 3-1. Combined record of opponents faced – 5-11. Not very telling.

Oakland Raiders 2-2. Combined record of opponents faced – 7-9. Ahhh, right on pace with the Steelers and if not for a botched field goal in Denver they might have an identical record as well.

Cleveland Browns - 2-2. Combined record of opponents faced - 8-8. The toughest competition thus far, and if not for a blocked field goal in Oakland, they might be 3-1.

So of all the teams we looked at, it would seem that lowly Cleveland is the only one playing against real competition, and for the most part holding their own.

So before we crown their asses the greatest team of all time, the best undefeated team of all time, the 2007 Super Bowl champions, or even the best team in football this year, how about we wait and see how the Pats perform when they actually play a football game against real competition.


Steelers Around the World

Steel Curtain meets the Iron Curtain as the world tour of Steelers football lands this week in Moscow.

The economic, educational and transportation center of Russia, the country capital is also the most populous city in Europe. Moscow can also boast the world’s busiest metro system.

The city is also famous, besides being the seat of power during the age of Czars the communist years as well as the Russian Federation of today, for its stunning architecture. The Kremlin, Red Square and Saint Basil’s Cathedral are a small slice of the architectural beauty and wonder that dot this city. Some of the city’s wonders were destroyed during modernization attempts through the years, but now are in the process of being restored to their pre-Soviet grandeur. Moscow also is home to over 90 parks and 18 gardens, 4 of which are botanical, for residents to enjoy. The park land is so abundant in this city, they average 27 square meters per park per person.

Moscow is also home, like many capital cities, to a thriving arts scene. Home to numerous museums and art galleries, Moscow is also known for ballet, with the most famous studio being the Bolshoi Theatre. The Bolshoi has since its beginnings been the home to many Russian masterpieces in both ballet and opera, from Tchaikovsky's ballet Swan Lake to Rimsky-Korsakov's The Tsar's Bride.

Moscow also has a thriving sports culture, with football, or soccer to us backward Americans, dominates followed closely by ice hockey. Due to the climate, winter sports are very popular in Russia. Often in winter, it is quite common to see Muscovites skating on ponds or skiing through trails in the local parks.

When Pittsburgh takes the field, they will do it at the Grand Sports Arena of the Luzhniki Olympic Complex. The central venue of the 1980 Summer Olympics, Luzhniki Stadium is also a regular host of Russian Premier League games and the scheduled host of the 2008 UEFA Champions League final. The stadium seats 84,745 fans in covered seating comfort, all ready for a taste of NFL action.

Fans of Pittsburgh know the proper opponent to play behind the Iron Curtain. The one opponent who was their nemesis during the glory days of the Steel Curtain. The one opponent who many Steeler fans referred to, and still do, as the evil empire. One led by a maniacal dictator bent on domination at any cost. Please welcome for this game, the Oakland Raiders.


Idiot of the week

This week’s award goes to the latest Favre sycophant, Peter King. Mind you, I like Peter an am a regular reader of his column, which is excellent. But this week, he wins due to his own personal lovefest with Brett. While watching his interview with Favre after the game, it seemed as though King was trying to supplant Madden as the media figure who loves Favre the most. What a softball and suck up interview. Here are some of the ridiculous questions he asked.

What did you say to Deanna after the touchdown? That’s his business Peter. Why must we intrude on a special moment between husband and wife? As it turns out, he said they needed to win the game. Obviously, Favre’s head was already getting back to the more important issue at hand.

Did you think about your dad? What kind of question is that? Of course he thought about his dad. The senior Favre was a gigantic influence in Brett’s life, and I am sure his absence was felt by Brett. And on that note, why do I know almost as much about Favre’s dad as I do my own?

How does it feel? Oooooh, tough one. Here, I’ll guess. I bet it felt pretty damn good.

Which is more important, the record or the win? Hey Peter, in case you’ve kept your head in the sand for the last four weeks, or were not paying attention to the answer above, Favre has answered this on about a million occasions! The records are nice, the wins are what matters.

I know people would want to hear from Brett after breaking such a big record, and Peter is one of the lucky ones who were able to talk with him. But Peter, if you get that chance again try not to drool so much, ok?


Taking The Week Off

Cincinnati – The Bungles will spend the week finding some warm bodies to fill out their defensive ranks.

Oakland – The Raiders will pass the time bailing Janikowski out of jail for over celebrating their home and road wins.

Minnesota – Brad Childress will spend the week wondering why he did not run Peterson more in the second half of the Packers game, and of course teaching 10th grade Biology.

Philadelphia – Andy Reid wasted no time on his bye week and is already hard at work finding a way to clone Brian Westbrook.


On Tap This Week

At this time of year, one finds themselves completely immersed in football watching, studying, learning, deducing from every play and every team what makes them good, or bad. One takes this knowledge and applies it each week, hoping to use that knowledge as a payoff, to show that this accumulated knowledge means something. And for the most part, it does pay off. But then some weeks, on occasion, you get this.

Last week 5-9
Season to date 35-27

I’d feel bad, but hey, I’m just a regular fan. If I actually worked in football, for a team the league or a media outlet, I would be mortally embarrassed. I checked some of the experts, and I did better than a good portion of them. So as it stands, well, I’m just kind of chagrined. It’s funny, last week I kept thinking beforehand about a slew of games that could go either way, and wondered whether my picks were accurate. As it turned out, I went the wrong way on every single one of them. Oh well, there is always this week.


Jacksonville (2-1) at Kansas City (2-2)

So Damon Huard is 7-0 in starts at Arrowhead stadium. Interesting. It’s not going to help this week. Jacksonville is rested and ready. Kansas City is relying on one good receiver, one quasi-decent quarterback, one overpaid running back and one very bad offensive line.

Jaguars over Chiefs

Arizona (2-2) at St. Louis (0-4)

Stephen Jackson is still out. Not good. Marc Bulger and bruised ribs are out and Gus Frerotte is in. Also not good. Even if a fresh Frerotte can throw better than an injured Bulger, it will matter not. The quarterback will still have no protection. Unless the Arizona quarterback rotation implodes spectacularly, or they lack concentration too giddy from their win last week, we can have the official funeral for the greatest show on turf this weekend.

Cardinals over Rams

Cleveland (2-2) at New England (4-0)

I’m about to write something that a few weeks ago would have seemed as likely as the thought of Paris Hilton being a good role model for young girls. The Browns are the stiffest competition the Patriots have faced so far. And for the sheer upset value, I so want to pick them. But three things keep holding me back. One, they are still the Browns. Two, they are still the Patriots at home. And three, Crennel could at any moment revert back to his Art Shell impression he did in week one.

Patriots over Browns

Carolina (2-2) at New Orleans (0-3)

It looks like Jake Delhomme could be out longer than expected. I and short of me being paid handsomely by an unknown benefactor from the Charlotte region, there is no way I am backing David Carr and his butler gloves on the road. I do not care how bad the Saints are playing. Now, if the Saints secondary gets torched by Carr for say 300+ yards and 4 touchdowns en route to a win, which is not impossible, then I completely give up on them this year and throw them in the pile with the Rams and, coming soon, the Chargers.

Saints over Panthers

New York Jets (1-3) at New York Giants (2-2)

I’ll take New York in this one. But which one, the one that took an embarrassing loss to a divisional opponent, or the one waiting for the right losing streak to implode so dramatically, it makes the last few years look like they were the proverbial salad days. Wait, that doesn’t help. Hmmmm, ok the one who plays in the stadium that is really in New Jersey? Oh, wait, they both do. Seriously, how do you tell these two crapfests apart?

Giants over Jets

Seattle (3-1) at Pittsburgh (3-1)

Something seems really familiar about this game, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Steelers over Seahawks

Detroit (3-1) at Washington (2-1)

The Redskins have had a week to think about what they did. They have a good defense and a decent offense. They’re at home against a team who has NEVER won there. The last NFC East team their opponent faced torched them. So why don’t I feel good about Washington? The Lions can score quickly, and in bunches. Sure their defense gives up some, but the offense knows how to overcome that. I sound like a drunken guy in a bar at 2am talking himself into a regrettable hookup, but I don’t care. As the drunk would slur, screw it I’m going for it.

Lions over Redskins

Miami (0-4) at Houston (2-2)

How long do you think it will be until Joey Porter, unfamiliar with an inept losing team, snaps and runs through South Beach destroying everything in his path? I’m giving it 3 more losses.

Texans over Dolphins

Atlanta (1-3) at Tennessee (2-1)

Hmmm, it is always good to look at the quarterback match ups when working to pick a winner. So who would you take, Joey Harrington or Vince Young? Kind of like choosing between bologna and steak, isn’t it?

Titans over Falcons

Tampa Bay (3-1) at Indianapolis (4-0)

The wheels come off for Bucs bus this week, as RB Cadillac Williams and LT Luke Petitgout were lost for the season. They’d need to win a shootout, and I just do not see it happening with no one up the middle or anyone reliable keeping pressure off of Garcia.

Colts over Buccaneers

Baltimore (2-2) at San Francisco (2-2)

Alex Smith is out 3-4 weeks with a separated shoulder. You like Trent Dilfer against the Ravens? Me either. They’d have a better chance with Trent Edwards, or even Trent Reznor.

Ravens over 49ers

San Diego (1-3) at Denver (2-2)

I have no faith in San Diego, none whatsoever. If you cannot put away the Chiefs at home, how can you put away the Broncos, who are better than KC, on the road? I keep hearing about them righting the ship this week. But I just have trouble believing it. Plus, if things keep going this way, we’ll be about three weeks from seeing LaDainian Tomlinson curled up in a fetal position openly sobbing during his post game interview. Pure entertainment.

Broncos over Chargers

Chicago (1-3) at Green Bay (4-0)

So this is what we get for the action capper. A banged up Bears secondary vs. Bionic Favre on Sunday Night, with Favre’s biggest fan in the TV Booth and I don’t mean Al Michaels. Once again, their only hope is Kyle Orton. But we won’t be seeing him.

Packers over Bears

Dallas (4-0) at Buffalo (1-3)

This is just mean. Why do this to the good people of Buffalo? Sure, they should get a Monday night game. But against the Cowboys with their offense? Has not the Bills, and Bills fans, suffered enough this season?

Cowboys over Bills