Falling From Great Heights

Originally posted in Quick Thoughts on June 12, 2006.


What a lump in your throat, sick to your stomach day. As if you could not tell from the links on my blog, I am a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I have been since I was very little and would watch games with my dad, too young to understand or comprehend the glory of the 70's Super Steelers. As I got older, and Pittsburgh started going through the lean years (for us in Steelers Nation, lean years are years without a Super Bowl victory), my dad would regale me with tales of Franco, Terry, Mean Joe and the Steel Curtain. He has been a fan for a very long time. He can remember true lean times, before there was ever hope of a Super Bowl berth, let alone a victory.

Football has always been very important to me and my dad. Its not that we are crazed sports fans (although maybe just a touch when it comes to the Steelers) and do not understand that it’s only a game. For us, as I am sure like many fathers and sons, it has always been something we have had in common. As I grew up and began to discover who I am, something that I am still working on, and the things I liked and tried to figure out what kind of life I wanted, I began to realize my father and I were very different people. We have plenty in common, I am my father's son for sure, but we have very different interests and outlooks on life. Something I am sure is very natural with people who grow up in different times and under different circumstances. A perfect example, as a child, my father went to a one room schoolhouse. This concept to me is almost unfathomable. My only concept of a one room schoolhouse is from history books and Little House on the Prairie. Yet my father went to one for many years. As a child, he also lived in a house that had no indoor plumbing. He is not 100 years old, this was in the 1950s. These are hard images to resolve, especially in our society nowadays with all of the advances we have made. Even as I write this on a laptop connected to the internet on a wireless connection, it stands out as almost unbelievable. A one room schoolhouse? Outhouses? How is that possible? But I digress.

So as I began to understand that my father and I were different people with different interests, I also realized we did not always have things in common to talk with each other about. Of course there were the standard father and son things, how each was doing, him always offering sage advice to me as I began to navigate through life and me looking to him for wisdom and guidance that only a father can give. But beyond that, we did not always have common ground. Football always provided that. My father has always been a fan, and played the game when he went to high school. I myself played as well, for the same high school my father did. He would come to every game. After work during the season, he would always come straight from work to practice to watch my brother and I. When we would get home, he would let us know how we did and how we could improve. Bar none, outside of the college and pro ranks, I have never met someone with the knowledge of all aspects of the game as my father. His knowledge and insight into the game are unrivaled, and almost always dead on.

After college and moving and starting my life, I would continue to talk to my dad. Each week without fail I call my parents to let them know about what is happening with my life and to find out about theirs. Family is very important to me and always will be. Sometimes my dad and I will only speak for a few minutes before I talk with my mom, and sometimes, it will be longer. But come football season, I know I always have that common ground with my father. When those times come, we are no longer father and son, two people separated by age, interests or generations, but two friends who share a common passion. It gives us a way to connect and bond, a way for us to be closer. This way to connect is always good for people and especially men, who cannot always express their feelings as they would like. My father is definitely an old school type of guy who can't always express his feelings as he would like. This is one of the beauties of sports that those who are not fans do not understand. It can help create and strengthen a bond, give people common ground and form lasting relationships.

This year was the ultimate year for us. Pittsburgh fulfilled years of dashed hopes and dreams and ran the table, winning the Super Bowl on the shoulders of a young quarterback and an aging running back on his last grasp at the golden ring. For the first time, my father and I could celebrate a championship of our favorite team together. The last time they won, I was too young to realize the magnitude of the event. This time, we could celebrate it together. We talked often leading up to the game, on strategy and odds. We talked about individual matchups, strengths and weaknesses. The day of the game, we spoke much before the game, both of us geared up and raring to go. We spoke several times during the game, as fortunes swung both in favor of Pittsburgh and away from them. And the moment came, the game slowly ticked to conclusion, the confetti rained down upon the field, the towels swung in the air and Pittsburgh was the new world champions of the NFL. And we had our congratulatory call to each other, relishing in the moment and enjoying something together for the first time. The only thing that would have made it sweeter would have been if we could have watched it together, both of us cursing and questioning every bad play and decision and cheering lustily on every great play. Ok, first, I know there were not many great plays. From all accounts, and from an objective standpoint, it was a stinker of a game. The three they played to get there were much better and more exciting, although the Indianapolis game was a little TOO exciting. But, there were three great plays in the game, and that was enough for me. And second, my dad is not the kind of guy to cheer lustily, but if you knew him, it would be a funny image to see him leaping from his chair and yelling in joy.

So for this entire off-season, we have watched every bit of news from Pittsburgh with new eyes. Who has left for new horizons, who joined the team, how they did in the draft, how off-season conditioning was going. We discussed Hines Ward's trip to South Korea to discover his roots and help make a difference in the lives of other children of mixed heritage. We touched on Ben Roethlisberger's trip to Switzerland to discover his roots. When we saw the release of the schedule for the upcoming season, we went over it talking about the games and the chances of the team in each game. Every move and action we would chat about, contemplating the next season, football always being the common ground for us.

But then today, as of course I am sure you have heard since it has been all over the news, Roethlisberger had a horrible accident on his motorcycle. He ran into a car, flipped over the handle bars, and struck his head on the windshield and then the pavement. A tragic accident made more frightening by the fact that he was not wearing a helmet. That gigantic sucking sound you may have heard today was the gasp from the collective Steeler Nation, wondering what the future may hold for both their young hero as well as their team. Mercifully at this moment, the news seems to be positive. He has undergone surgery to repair fractures on his face and head, including a broken jaw and nose, and the lacerations that came from the accident as well. The positive news from the surgeons who performed the operation was that his brain, spine, chest and abdomen all appeared to be fine and uninjured. That is most important of all. Head injuries can be devastating, as anyone who has gone through one or had a loved one suffer one can attest to without question. So if it appears that his brain is fine, that is a wonderful thing. As all of Steeler Nation, NFL fans, casual fans, friends, family and those closest to Ben are hoping tonight, I myself am hoping and praying for a speedy recovery with no injuries or damage that may stick with him throughout his life.

Of course, after something devastating like this, 9 million talking heads have come out of the woodwork trying to get face time for their opinions on everything from motorcycle safety and future Steeler game plans to recovery time for serious injuries and helmet laws of Pennsylvania. In case you have not heard by now, helmets are optional in Pennsylvania. I have already heard way too many people losing their mind about this, going crazy about Ben's irresponsibility for not having a helmet, for letting down so many people and the effects this will have on many. To these maniacs, I say, shut up. Just shut up.

Look, the first and foremost thing that should be on everyone's mind is the long term welfare of Ben. That's it. I know as an organization, the Steelers will at some point have to address the situation from a standpoint of the wellbeing of the team, depending upon his condition and his future, and that is understandable. They will look into those things when the time is appropriate. As of right now, they seem to be leading the way down a path that everyone else should follow by showing only concern for the health of their young quarterback and friend. Everyone else who is going nuts should follow suit. I am one of the biggest fans of the team you will find, and my first concern is for his health. Not his health for the upcoming season, but his health for the future. That is more important than anything else.

Second, what is all this crap about irresponsibility? Of course it is irresponsible. He was riding without a helmet. Common sense should tell you that you should protect your most valuable asset. And while it is his choice, and I am sure he is a very experienced and safe rider, accidents happen as today will show. You cannot predict them; you can only try to keep yourself safe from the possibility of them. That is why they are called accidents; they are unplanned, unexpected and typically unwanted.

Now, Ben is 24 years old, a millionaire, a first round draft pick, and a 2 year pro who has broken the mold of what a young quarterback can do and a Super Bowl champion. One who has brought one of the most loyal, vocal and widespread fan bases in all of professional sports the championship they have craved for so long. You combine these elements together, you are going to have someone who has an air of invincibility, an air that most sports stars have. They believe they can do anything and succeed. It is this air that allows many of them to perform feats that many of us in a rational state of mind would find crazy. If you doubt this, try to imagine yourself doing the luge, or worse, the skeleton. An air of invincibility which is only intensified by winning a championship. Of course he does not think that anything bad will happen. He is on top of the world. He is not thinking of responsibility, he is thinking of enjoying life and winning football games. Something many of us can only try to imagine, and love to live vicariously through the pros that do.

I understand the points that people are making, that he has a responsibility to his teammates, his team, his sponsors, his family and his fans to keep himself safe and on the field. That by choosing to ride without a helmet he has let them down and shown his irresponsibility. And they have a point. He is a corporation and a product both wrapped up in one. He needs to be aware that as a corporation, and in putting out a product, all of the above parties are stockholders in that corporation and need to have assurances that they will get a return upon their investment. The team needs to know the money they pay will be returned in performance on the field. His teammates need to know that the effort they put out on the field will be returned with the same effort from him. His sponsors need to know that by him endorsing their product, they will get the exposure they want by him playing. His family needs to know that the time and love they have given him and continue to give him will be returned with him staying safe and healthy. And his fans need to know that the support they give him by buying his products, jerseys, items he endorses and rooting for him will be returned by him giving them what they want as much as he does, which is success.

These are very big concepts, ones that I myself have just begun to understand for my own life. And I am far from a millionaire with lots to lose. I am 32 and have just started to realize the importance of these concepts, how they apply to life in general and how to think of myself as more than just one person, but as something more to many other people for a variety of reasons. I am a fairly intelligent person, and if I am just now beginning to understand the breadth and depth of these concepts, should one expect a 24 year old to automatically know these things as well? No, of course no one should expect that. Ben is an intelligent guy who has a good family behind him and good people around him that have helped him become, by all accounts, a great young man. You cannot ask for much more than that in a person. But to expect him to understand these concepts at such a young age is foolish and moronic. Learning these things come with time, and while I understand the world of professional sports is much different than the real world, it still takes time to learn things in life, no matter who you are or what the lessons are. You make mistakes, you learn, you move on to your next adventure. That is the core of living right there. He made a mistake, a very painful one at that. But get off him for being irresponsible. Hopefully, he will fully recover and learn from this. And if your biggest concern at this moment is about the irresponsibility of a professional athlete, then you either live the perfect life or need to take a serious look at your own priorities and life, because I can assure you there is something major missing there. At the very least, you are missing common compassion and perspective of what is truly important. Chew on that for a bit before the next time you open your cakehole on TV.

Of course, my dad called me today and we talked about what had happened. He did not call right away, which surprised me. He told me later he did not want to bother me at work with the news. I told him he can call me anytime he likes so not to worry about that. How considerate is that, though. He called later, though, to give me the rundown of the press conference that was to happen, in case I did not get it where I live. Isn't he the best? And we were both in agreement, an unfortunate accident compounded by a stupid move in not wearing a helmet. But we both hope that he will fully recover and still be able to have a successful career. And if not, hopefully he will be able to recover and have a successful life. We will both be watching to see what happens, hoping for the best for Ben, as well as the team. Regardless of what may happen with Ben's career, my dad and I will still have our Steelers, and with it, our bond and common ground. And for this I will always be grateful.