The Crystal Ball Week 8

Originally Posted on Quick Thoughts on October 27, 2006.


It is official, I cannot figure out this season anymore. Now, I know that statement is made each year by a litany of football pundits, but this year it seems more potent. Explain this to me, Jacksonville stifles the Steelers, even if they were not themselves, and then gets into a shoot out with Washington and loses, and then gets thumped by the Texans? KC gets crushed one week against the Steelers, and then the next week beats the latest Super Bowl flavor Chargers? Philly loses three games this season in the waning moments, one on a 62 yard field goal by a kicker whose previous career high was 50 yards and had not, to that point, kicked a field goal over 30 yards all season? Arizona plays its heart out, and despite some Bears luck and horrendous Cardinal coaching, still almost pulls off the upset, and then the next week craps the bed against the Raiders? Ok, that one can be explained. But for the most part, it has been a strange season thus far, and I do not see it abating anytime soon. Now, onto the real fun of last week.

I AM SO SICK OF LOSING!

Ugh, what a heartbreaker that should have been avoided. First off, let’s talk about Ben’s concussion, which I am happy to say seems to be only a mild one and early prognosis points to him getting at least some playing time this week, and perhaps even starting on Sunday. But that was a scary few minutes seeing him lying on the ground and not moving at all. Talk about taking your breath away. But, thank God he is ok, and hopefully he stays that way. However, there should have been a roughing the passer penalty called not only for the third guy who came in way late, but mainly for the highly illegal helmet to helmet hit. How does Cincinnati the previous week get called for roughing the passer on a completely legal sack, but nothing is called when three guys sandwich Roethlisberger and one of them puts his hat right into the back of Ben’s head? Please, someone from the officiating department at league headquarters explain that one to me. I mean, I am no Rhodes Scholar, and maybe that is my failing, but tell me how those two actions escape proper notice? I saw the Cincy play and thought they got jobbed. But if you are going to call that, you HAVE to call the helmet to helmet on Ben. If we are going to coddle quarterbacks, for Pete’s sake lets be consistent about it. Nice job, by the way, to Charlie Batch for coming in and almost pulling off the win. When your backup can come off the bench and throw for 195 yards and 2 touchdowns, you have some depth at QB.

But what the game really came down to is they did not play well. Four fumbles, three of them lost to the Falcons deep within their own territory. Those three turnovers led to 21 Falcon points. You take those away, score is 38-20. You figure out how they lost. I was thinking of sending certain players a big box of stickum. The team is just not consistent in their overall play. One week something is working like a Swiss watch, the next week it is the albatross around their collective neck. If they could just pull it all together and keep it humming, they would be great!

Oh, and in case you did not notice it, Cowher cost them the game. It was not the first time he has cost them a win and it probably will not be the last. His moronic challenge of Warrick Dunn’s touchdown early in the second half, which anyone with a pair of eyes could see was clearly a touchdown and that there would not be enough evidence to overturn the call on the field, had no business being challenged and it cost them a time out. A timeout that turned out to be crucial, because if they had it, they could have calmly called it after Batch’s pass that put them on the edge of Reed’s field goal range for a last second field goal attempt. But no, they had to try to spike it, Washington moved, that penalty triggered the mandatory 10 second run off, and suddenly, we are in overtime. Perhaps Reed would not have made that field goal and the game would have still gone to overtime, but we never got a chance to find out. Thanks Cowher, good coaching there, really smart move wasting that timeout for your own ego and stupidity. Sigh, I am just tired of every week dissecting where things went wrong and what they should do to correct them. They damn well better take it out on Oakland and use that game to get this crap out of their system, because it will not fly against Denver. It disgusts and frightens me to think that this team, the defending Super Bowl champions, is tied with an identical record with Washington, Houston and Green Bay and only one win better than Arizona, Cleveland and Oakland. Now, as far at talent, experience, skill and performance, they are much better than any of those teams, but it is not showing up where it counts the most, in the standings. What also scares me is that this week, they will go out and beat the hell out of Oakland, all fired up from losing to Atlanta, then relax a bit and get their ass kicked by Denver. Excuse me while I go slam my head in a door for a while.

In other news, Shawne Merriman has been suspended for steroids. Hmmmm, I wonder if that may have helped in beating the Steelers, and every other Charger opponent. I hate losing, but I can eventually stomach it if loss comes from an opponent with class who out performs you, not one who had to cheat to do it. Predictably, he is appealing the suspension, saying of course that he had no idea there were steroids in the supplements, and his lawyer is now saying they were tainted. Yeah right. I am so sick of professional athletes using that line of crap as a defense. Do they honestly think we as fans are dumb enough to believe that? Their entire livelihood is based upon their body, how good it is, how strong it is, how fit it is and how much they can keep it in tip top condition. Is there any way possible they would put anything into their bodies in which there was any questions as to the contents? Knowing the policies and dangers of using banned substances, is there even a remote chance they would take a risk of ingesting something that could affect their livelihood? No, of course not. Barry Bonds has tried the same defense, and looked even more ridiculous than usual for it. I wish they would just be honest about it and say, look, I was trying to get an edge; it is highly competitive out there. I went too far, I did something I should not have, and I paid for it. It will not happen again. No, that is merely a pipe dream of mine. You will never see that kind of personal responsibility in this society. Not anymore.

Arizona showed their dysfunction and crapped the bed against Oakland. The psychological damage done by their meltdown against the Bears will be carried by this team for the remainder of the season. Plus, the complete MORONIC call by Green to fire their offensive coordinator, who was the one who developed the good game plan against the Bears, and then promote a guy who looked completely outclassed against Oakland, well, what can you say about such moves? They crushed the team. They will barely win another game. And on top of that, Denny Green will more than likely be out of a job after the season is over. You watch. Heck, I would not be surprised if he gets canned before the season is over.

MNF is trying way too hard, and someone at the top does not get it, which surprises me since the network that airs the game is an ALL SPORTS NETWORK. Why do I end up watching Access Hollywood in the middle of every Monday Night game ths far this season? A few weeks ago, it was James Denton, who has the personality of a piece of samsonite and possibly the same level of intelligence as well. The audience that would be attracted by him does not watch MNF, for the most part. If you wanted to appeal to the NFL audience, bring in Jessica Alba. And even then, most fans do not want to hear what she has to say, merely just look at her. We are there to watch FOOTBALL, not corporate cross promotion. Last week they had Charles Barkley in the booth who is always entertaining when he is in front of a camera. Now, I love Chuckie, I have since he played in Philly for the 76ers. But when I am watching football, I want to watch football, not hear a Barkley interview, or anyone else for that matter. This has got to stop. You can feel it coming when the second quarter starts, and as by the time we hit 10 minutes left in the half, hey we have a special guest! Ugh. Yeah, like it was a surprise. This week, I was subjected to Hank Williams Jr., who himself seemed more interested in watching the game than babbling. Hank actually likes football, which is why he has done the Monday Night theme song for the last ten plus years. Crazy that he would sit there and want to watch the game instead of participating banal conversation. Ok, so Hank was a bust, but no fear, there was more to come. We also had, via satellite, NFL all time rushing leader Emmitt Smith. Fantastic, I was almost sick not knowing how he was doing on Dancing with the Stars; thank goodness he dropped by to give us an update. I was trying to watch the Giants completely torpedo my week, but ESPN felt it was more important for me to hear Smith talk about the difficulties of ballroom dancing. Before I thought the mute button would be enough, but apparently, I also need a visual mute since when they have a guest, the camera never leaves the booth or the satellite feed. Luckily, I thought this would happen so I planned ahead and had a dentist come over for a root canal during the game, you know, so I had something fun to do while the interviews were taking place. Seriously, no one cares. And ESPN wonders why they have crappy ratings for Monday Night.

Oh, a quick note or two for ESPN in the ol’ programming vein. When you show Sports center after the game, stop leading the broadcast with throwing it back to the crew at the game for a 20-30 minute dissection of what we just spent 3 plus hours watching. We know what happened, we watched the game you dolts. Also, stop plugging a story for 4-5 segments, constantly teasing the story, only to run it with absolutely no new information, or any information other than what can be read on the ticker at the bottom of the screen. Like a chump, I sat there after the game watching Sports Center because they teased a story on Roethlisberger and his condition after the concussion, and I suffered through segment after segment, including watching T.O.’s entire post game press conference, trying to pull individual hairs out of my arms at this point for entertainment. A quick side note to all the reporters who were there in Dallas for the post game interviews, there is only so many ways T.O. and Parcells can answer the same question, no matter how cleverly you rephrase it. And on top of that, your rephrasing of the questions were not even all that clever. What a pack of sandbags those guys are. Meanwhile, I keep watching the show, for almost an hour at this point, and during this time I see on the ticker about 100 times that Merrill Hoge is reporting Roethlisberger had a concussion and his status for Sunday’s game is uncertain. Of course, this is nothing new. Anyone who watched the game and saw him walk off the Georgia Dome field could have told you that. However, I am hoping that the actual story has more depth to it and some unheard information. Oh, it does. After almost an hour of waiting, they finally roll the story. On top of the information on the ticker, they also showed the hit that knocked Ben out of the Atlanta game about 10 times. THEY SAID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW, yet they teased it for almost an hour. After restraining myself from throwing the remote at the television, I calmly changed the channel. If they really wanted to give me new information, how about telling me why the referees, who in this day and age are instructed to coddle quarterbacks as though they were Faberge eggs, did not throw one flag for a helmet to helmet hit, which we all know is all kinds of illegal. That would have been some new and interesting information. No, the best they could come up with was that he had a concussion and his status for the Oakland game is uncertain. Well, thank you ESPN for that crack reporting. Do I get a cut of the pay for that story, because I said that as soon as he sat up on the turf? Thank goodness for Seinfeld reruns, they can turn a sour mood fast.

But I do not want to come down too hard on ESPN and Monday Night Football. There is one thing I like about MNF. Before the game, Tirico throws it to Tony and Joe, and each gives a small intro about each of the teams participating in the forthcoming game. It really shows the difference in talent between the two. Tony’s is a beautiful soliloquy that revolves around the team, and often times incorporates stories of their past, weaving fantastic tales together that relate the present day team, and where they hope to go from here. Joe’s seems more like a ham fisted pre game report that basically is little more than bland generalizations regarding tonight’s match up that anyone with access to a computer or television could ascertain. They are obviously from two different worlds. I am just waiting for Tony to really become Cossell and start berating Joe openly, like Cossell used to do to Dandy Don way back in the day. That would be fantastic.

On a much, much brighter note, for the first time this season, I get to watch games this weekend with my Dad. I cannot wait! I am taking time to go visit the parents and we will get to sit down and enjoy a little Steelers football together. Of course, he does not have HD, so that will throw me for a loop right there. Going back to the stone age of football viewing! Oh well, its more than just the picture, its all about the Dad. Of course, I am sure my Mom would prefer something other than have two raving lunatics yelling at the screen for three hours, but hey, that is what family is all about. Is it Sunday yet?

Now, to add to the crappiness of the Pittsburgh loss, I had a beyond crappy week too. Nothing like getting back to a nice losing week.

Last Week: 5-8
Season to Date: 57-43

It was not easy to achieve this mark. I would like to send thanks to all the “juggernaut” teams that decided that it was cool to drop one on the road to crappy teams. If it were not for you, then I never would have been able to reach this lofty goal.

This week, we are back to 14 games, so I have a good chance to go 5-9. Cross your fingers.

This weeks bye teams are Buffalo, Detroit, Miami and Washington. I have nothing good to say about any of them. They all stink, and seem to be getting worse. So, there.


Arizona at Green Bay

Ahhh, two crappy teams with stellar quarterbacks in exact opposite spots in their careers. Brett, though, still knows how to win, so I’m going with him at home. Plus, since I watched the Cardinals pull the plug on their season last week, I do not trust them anywhere.

Green Bay over Arizona


Atlanta at Cincinnati

This is the first of three games that really confuses me. A tough one here considering both teams played good games last week. Cincinnati won tough against the Panthers, and Atlanta won a stellar shootout against Pittsburgh in overtime. Not that I think Vick can repeat that passing performance, but he can always run. Now, here is the funny thing, Atlanta’s secondary is weak, which plays well into the Bengals hands. But Cincy’s run defense is weak, which is right up the Falcons alley. So, do you go with who can hold onto the ball longer, or to the team that can air it out more efficiently? I think I will go with the team with the better defensive front four.

Atlanta over Cincinnati


Baltimore at New Orleans

Well, lets see, Baltimore is on the road and struggling on offense. The Saints are at home, which will once again be rollicking and Drew Brees is looking like an MVP candidate. Seems pretty simple to me.

New Orleans over Baltimore


Houston at Tennessee

Ok, here is a crapfest waiting to happen. If you had the NFL Sunday Ticket, and you could watch any game possible, is there any way you would watch this one? Now, if you have some interest in the team or any of the players, be they friends or family, you cannot vote. I mean, if you are just a casual football fan and find yourself scrolling through the channels, would you stop at this one? Neither would I, which means with Vince Young and the improving David Carr, this will probably be a fantastic game. Like I said, I cannot figure any of this season out.

Tennessee over Houston


Jacksonville at Philadelphia

Ok, both of these teams are reeling in weird ways, as mentioned above. So who do you go with? You go with the home team here. Because the Eagles know if they lose, they might not make it out alive. And if you think I’m kidding, watch that piece from NFL Films about Philly fans and old Veterans Stadium. There is a reason it was the only stadium in the NFL with a court in the basement for sentencing DURING THE GAME.

Philadelphia over Jacksonville


Seattle at Kansas City

So last week, Hasselbeck got his knee crunched, and it looks like the Seahawks may start to feel the Super Bowl loser hangover. No Hasselbeck and no Alexander no bode well if you ask me. I asked a buddy this week who is a huge Hawks fan about it, and he basically said their season is done if Matt is out for any significant amount of time. He is a Seattle fan and has zero confidence in Seneca Wallace. If your own fans do not feel good about it, then why should I? Plus, I made a HUGE error last week with KC. I forgot to take into account they were playing at home. Arrowhead Stadium gets so rocking during Chiefs games, that they can always help turn the tide. Dumb, dumb, dumb by me for not taking into account the stadium and home field crowd. I know there are not a lot of places where home field really means anything, but Arrowhead is one of them. I will not make that mistake again.

Kansas City over Seattle


San Francisco at Chicago

The 49ers on the road against DA Bears who just had a week off to rest and recover from their almost debacle in the desert? Yeah, this one is cake. I just hope we hear Mike Nolan scream in the post game news conference “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!”

Chicago over San Francisco


Tampa Bay at N.Y. Giants

Well, we have a big match up here. Tiki versus Ronde. Brother versus brother. Tell me something, why was everyone babbling all over themselves at the beginning of the season when Peyton and Eli faced each other, but this game barely gets a whisper. Why not when this one is far more fascinating? Look at it; at some point in the game, it could literally come down brother versus brother. Picture the scene, Tiki breaks through the line and is heading for the end zone and the winning score, and the only one who can stop him is Ronde. That is drama if you ask me. That is what we should be talking about. Peyton and Eli could watch the other play, these two must stop the other to win. If that does not get your blood pumping and your heart going, you must be Art Shell.

N.Y. Giants over Tampa Bay


St. Louis at San Diego

This is the second game that is throwing me. St. Louis is definitely resurgent, and can play with anyone. They lost to the Seahawks on a last second field goal, and could have won that game. San Diego, I must grudgingly admit, is playing great all around football. But two things I wonder about the Chargers. One, will the turnover at the linebacker position start to catch up with them, and two, when will Marty blow another game? I just do not know, but I will play it safe and go with the home team.

San Diego over St. Louis


Indianapolis at Denver

Here we are at the game of the week. Undefeated Indianapolis travels to Denver for a showdown with the 5-1 Broncos. Which pony do you put your money on? Yes indeed, that pun was intended. This is a tough one, for a lot of reasons. Denver has been playing some great defense this year, which is good because their offense has not been, well, world beating. Now the defense will have their best test against a team that over the last few years has just owned them in the playoffs. But, it is in Mile High, so that is definitely on Denver’s side, but then again Indy had the week off and have been scheming for two weeks. The easy choice would be to just go with the home team, but I do not think I can here.

Indianapolis over Denver


N.Y. Jets at Cleveland

Well, this week Cleveland either fired their offensive coordinator, or he resigned, depending on which story you choose to read. Either way, it shows some turmoil in the land of the Browns that does not look good for the remainder of the season. The Jets continue to play over their heads, and I do not see that changing this week.

N.Y. Jets over Cleveland


Pittsburgh at Oakland

Oakland blew their season last week. Now no one will be talking about them since they got that win. What is the point of saying anything now? They blew it all away on a meaningless win over a shell shocked Cardinals team. Like my lady said, they went from being the worst ever to now they just suck. And there are plenty of teams that just suck.

Pittsburgh over Oakland


Dallas at Carolina

So Parcells finally capitulated and threw in Romo. Think he might have chosen a better time than midway through a tough division game on Monday Night? Could there possibly have been a better time? Nah that was the only time possible. I think the aura of the Tuna is fading pretty fast as of late. So, now they have Romo behind center, and Bledsoe sitting on the bench fuming and planning on how he can be a disruption on a team with T.O. Let’s just say, I like the Panthers.

Carolina over Dallas


New England at Minnesota

This is the third game that gives me pause and this one far more than the others. New England has quietly amassed a 5-1 record, losing only once to Denver. Since then, they have worked in all the new people and young kids, and really started to get production out of them. Minnesota and plowed to a 4-2 record behind their stellar offensive line. Obviously, Brad Childress knew what he was doing when he signed Steve Hutchinson in the off season. He really has quietly put together a decent squad in Minnesota, and the Vikings could go far if not for the Bears in their division. But I do not see a wild card spot out of their reach. I do not know who to go with, but considering their track record, suppose I will go with New England. Then at least if they crap the bed and screw me, I can take the satisfaction of them losing.

New England over Minnesota